0:01

As-salamu alaykum wa rahmatullahi

0:04

wa barakatuh. It is your sister

0:06

and friend, Aadhar, and you're listening to

0:08

the Digital Sisterhood Podcast.

0:11

Now, how have y'all been? Talk to me.

0:14

How are y'all feeling? How are

0:16

you guys liking the stories? Judging

0:18

from reading all your reflections on social media, on

0:21

Twitter, and on Instagram, seems like

0:23

to me, you guys

0:24

are enjoying it just as much as I am. So

0:27

far in Love Temper, we've covered so

0:29

many kinds of love. But

0:31

today's episode is a little bit different,

0:35

just on the fact that it's not just talking about a relationship

0:37

with another person, although we

0:40

do see some beautiful relations being highlighted

0:42

in this story. Instead, our

0:44

guest, Alia, shares her beautiful journey

0:46

of falling in love with

0:49

the Quran. Y'all know

0:51

I love a good story, especially

0:54

a good story about the Quran. I mean, if I didn't,

0:57

I probably would have never started this podcast. But

1:00

think about it. How often do we

1:02

sit down and enjoy the stories of

1:04

the Quran? How often

1:06

do we connect to the words

1:09

and reflect on the ayahs we're reading? And

1:11

more importantly, how often

1:14

do we see the Quran as a trusted friend?

1:18

I want you guys to keep these questions in the back of your mind as

1:20

Alia takes us on this incredible

1:23

journey. So without further

1:25

ado, let's get into it, okay? All right.

1:28

Bismillah. I was raised

1:30

by a single mother. So I haven't

1:33

seen my father since I

1:37

was maybe four, three, four years

1:39

old. So I couldn't

1:42

tell you how his personality is because

1:44

I never lived with him. I

1:46

have a relationship with him today, alhamdulillah.

1:49

I wouldn't say I grew up in the

1:52

most traditional Somali household.

1:55

I was my mom's first child and my

1:57

dad's first child. So I...

1:59

I moved a lot because my dad moved

2:02

a lot for work. I was born in

2:04

Saudi and then I moved to Somalia

2:07

and then I moved to Uganda and then

2:09

I moved to Dubai and then I

2:11

moved back to Uganda and then I moved to Norway.

2:13

Wow. First 10 years of my life,

2:15

I was just bouncing back and forth.

2:18

Yeah, it was so nice. I can't

2:20

remember much from my childhood, to be

2:22

honest. When we were

2:24

in Somalia, both my parents used

2:26

to work, we used to travel for work, so they used

2:29

to leave us with my grandparents

2:31

and... Oh, Ayaa? Oh

2:34

my gosh, she is truly the love of

2:36

my life. May Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

2:38

have mercy on her and make

2:41

her grave wasa' and

2:43

may he grant her with the

2:45

highest part of jannah. She

2:48

truly is a woman. She was an orphan,

2:50

so she also

2:53

had a very rough life. But

2:55

she is the definition

2:57

of a warrior, a strong human

2:59

being that nobody can... You

3:03

can throw whatever you want at her

3:06

and she'll take it with the most gracious

3:09

smile and stand there and be like,

3:11

okay, let's make a plan. Let's

3:14

handle this. But

3:16

my brother, he was a very picky eater and

3:19

whatever I wanted, I couldn't care.

3:22

But just to make him laugh and to make us

3:24

laugh and just in order for him to

3:27

eat, she was like, you know, if

3:30

you finish your food, I'm gonna

3:32

run the whole of Yola.

3:35

I'm gonna run, she's quite old, mind

3:37

you. So she's like, really?

3:41

She's like, yes. If

3:44

you finish your plate, then I'm gonna run.

3:47

We're gonna compete with each other. She's like,

3:49

okay. So

3:51

he finished his plate and we're just

3:54

sitting at the dining table and

3:56

she is just running. She's not running, she's

3:58

jogging. Just like

4:00

we were alone medically just imagining

4:03

with her mossy and her hair

4:05

so relaxed and we're just like, ah, just

4:07

having the time of our life. And your hair is ready.

4:10

Oh my God. She is ready. So,

4:16

that will give you like a

4:19

little bit of who she was. But

4:22

she was my best friend. She was the person

4:24

I used to look up to and she was

4:26

my comfort blanket.

4:28

How did she kind of introduce

4:30

you with your relationship with Oran?

4:32

My grandma couldn't read or write. So

4:36

she was not able to study or

4:38

to like pick up almost half and read it

4:40

for herself. So what she would

4:42

do was, Aliyyah, come here,

4:44

sit next to me and read for me for Oran. And

4:47

then she would be like, oh, your voice

4:50

is so soothing. Please continue. And

4:52

then she would just fall asleep. And that

4:54

made me the happiest girl

4:56

on this earth. And

5:00

she would do this frequently. She would be like,

5:03

come, just recite. Just want to find the half

5:05

for me. And then she would

5:07

be like, oh, my arm hurts. Come read

5:09

Qur'an on that. Oh, my knee

5:12

hurts. Come read Qur'an on that. And

5:15

then she would be like, oh, I

5:17

don't want to eat food. But you know what? I

5:19

think my appetite is going to open

5:21

up a few reasons for Oran for me. She

5:25

didn't do anything just to make me recite. So

5:29

my grandfather, he used to read

5:31

every single day fajr and

5:34

astraasaj and nobody couldn't interrupt

5:36

him. Like this was his time

5:39

with Allah Subhana Tawada. This

5:41

was his energy booster. And

5:44

this was like his therapy session with

5:46

Allah Subhana Tawada. And

5:49

I used to just be like, yeah,

5:51

that's very cool. As

5:54

a kid, when I think about it, I used

5:56

to be so mesmerized by him being so

5:58

on. routine and

6:01

he would recite out loud and he was not

6:03

shy of it and I think that's where

6:05

I also get from. I've never shied

6:08

away from reciting the Quran like

6:10

willing people or like in

6:12

front of people even

6:14

though I've had difficulties with reciting

6:17

the Quran and I would stutter and

6:19

so on because he would

6:21

say don't shy away from the

6:24

words of Allah Subhana wa ta'ala, that's not

6:26

something to shy away from and

6:28

then after that I was put into

6:31

both school and dukhsi'ul-ul-an school

6:33

as well

6:34

and I had a

6:37

very kind very gentle teacher

6:39

al-amibadiq. We had a big classroom

6:41

we were separated boys and girls with

6:43

a curtain. I remember even the outfits

6:46

we used to wear like a green jilbab so

6:49

I got to learn the Arabic

6:51

alphabets there, how to read

6:53

the Quran and they're like you know

6:56

we put together like different letters Arabic

6:58

letters and those type of like crocons

7:01

and then we memorized

7:04

a few surahs from Tzama

7:07

and then we did the big move

7:09

to Uganda and we moved just

7:11

for a better life I guess for us

7:14

the kids it was just me and my brother

7:17

it was also like my cousins and my

7:19

grandma we all did the move

7:21

because of like the war going on

7:25

and once we got there

7:27

we of course started the Quran school.

7:34

Despite her fond early

7:36

memories of the Quran, Aliyyah found herself

7:38

beginning to shy away from the

7:40

same book that once brought her utmost

7:43

comfort.

7:47

I hated Dixi. I hated

7:50

Quran school. That was

7:52

my thing. I really hated it. I used

7:54

to look I would find every

7:57

excuse in the book to

7:59

not go. But my

8:01

mouth is so stubborn, but no, I don't

8:03

care. And I would be like, I'm so sick,

8:05

my stomach hurts. And she

8:07

would be like, no, it's okay.

8:10

Like the qaran ishifa, it's

8:12

a cure for everything. So when you go there,

8:14

then you're going to get the strength and you're going to be

8:16

fine. But I'm not going to lie, I hated

8:18

it. I hated tuxi. It

8:21

was like a nightmare because everyone

8:23

was just so dismissive of

8:25

my ability. They just thought

8:28

I was just a hard-headed kid that they

8:30

didn't want to learn.

8:32

Through

8:32

al-Nur'an, we see so many stories

8:35

of sibling rivalry. I mean, for example,

8:37

Habil al-Khabil, Yusuf Ali Sallam and his brothers.

8:40

These stories serve as an example of

8:42

major fitna that unfortunately

8:44

our communities continue to perpetuate.

8:47

I know all my first-born daughters can

8:49

really relate to this. But there's

8:51

a special kind of pressure that

8:54

comes with being the eldest child in

8:56

an ethnic household. But

8:58

getting overshadowed by a younger sibling,

9:00

I mean, that's a different type

9:03

of pain.

9:05

I

9:05

mean, my brother would get up every morning,

9:07

ask to Fajay, we wouldn't

9:10

go back to sleep. I would memorize

9:12

my portion and he would memorize his portion.

9:16

The first thing I noticed was, you're

9:19

younger than me, you don't have the same knowledge

9:21

as me. And you're doing

9:24

this quicker than me. What's happening?

9:26

What's wrong? I didn't even think what's wrong

9:28

with me. My first thought was

9:31

something's not adding up. So

9:34

come to find out later, Alon

9:36

Baddik has a photographic memory. So

9:38

you just look at a page and he's like, I'm done.

9:42

Alon Baddik. I

9:46

wish I had a photographic memory with the Quran. Are you kidding

9:48

me?

9:49

Oh, the greatest gift. What a gift.

9:51

What a gift. Alon Baddik.

9:55

Alon Baddik.

9:55

That's amazing. And he's just like, but

9:58

you know, it's just open the mouth. just

10:00

look at it really like maybe once or twice

10:02

and then you're good to go. I would look

10:05

at him but no that's not that

10:07

easy for me and then people around

10:10

us started noticing and they would

10:12

start comparing us and

10:14

as the oldest you're

10:17

always supposed to be the best

10:19

and you're supposed to be a compass

10:22

for the whole family. You're supposed

10:24

to lead your siblings and when

10:27

people like oh you're just a demean

10:30

and demean that's when it started within the

10:32

family before even the teachers started

10:35

saying. They called you a demean? Yeah

10:36

basically an idiot. Like demean

10:39

means like dumb like

10:41

dumb stupid

10:44

idiot like whatever words that really target

10:46

your intelligence or the ability

10:48

to do something is what a demean is. It's kind

10:51

of a lot and they called you that while I was in the

11:17

family. I'm sorry. It's like okay

11:19

it's okay go ahead we go ahead and

11:21

sit down and go through it

11:24

five more times and then

11:26

I would go back to him and he

11:28

would be like what's wrong with

11:30

you? You had all day yesterday and

11:33

like your brother look at him. You

11:36

guys come from the same household

11:39

you can't even say nobody's helping

11:41

you. You

11:43

don't have any excuses like you

11:46

can do it and then like

11:48

that would go on. I would take the same portion

11:50

and go home. My mom would look at me with the

11:53

most disappointing face like what's

11:56

wrong? Like you were sitting there all

11:58

day long like all day long. morning and

12:01

you couldn't like even not even one

12:04

Aya I'd like no not even

12:06

one Aya and then she'd look okay

12:08

fine my mom's best friend was a half-heave

12:11

and she would be like um

12:13

your auntie can help

12:15

you so I would go to her I would

12:17

help me and then the

12:20

same thing I wouldn't get it if

12:23

I got it it was very like it

12:26

wasn't good it was not like

12:28

I would you say in like some of the

12:30

say good job good job is it broken I

12:33

would literally break up a break

12:35

like every word and then

12:38

um so I would have like

12:40

the same portion maybe for two

12:42

three weeks and that is bad because

12:44

my portions were very small it's like three four

12:48

lines and the kids

12:50

would just pass me and then I

12:53

became the demean and the family

12:56

the demean in the classroom and

12:58

I would just cry sometimes I would be like I

13:00

am trying I would come back from

13:02

school I would pick up the most I wouldn't

13:04

even eat I'd be like I need to get this thing right I need

13:07

to get it right but then that's where my

13:09

grandma comes in she'd

13:11

be like you know yeah your

13:13

brother is very good at it but

13:15

you can also become good at it she's

13:18

like you don't have to compete with him

13:20

you only have to compete with yourself and

13:23

my grandparents went for hunch through through

13:25

they brought with them the cassettes

13:27

like the recordings of jeers

13:30

shawram and today's so

13:35

I would learn that

13:37

way like I would

13:40

listen

13:47

to my portion and then I would

13:49

pause it and then I would like

13:52

put it back all the way to my

13:54

portion again it was a struggle

13:56

but I did it what

13:57

would happen to the letters and when you tried

14:00

to read them. If

14:02

I'm going to be honest,

14:05

it was gibberish. It was like, even

14:08

though I knew what alif was about was,

14:10

it was like, what

14:12

am I looking at? It would just jump all over,

14:16

becoming a whole soup. In

14:18

my head, it was like putting

14:21

everything together. And

14:23

then I would jump over

14:26

certain words. And

14:28

I would just continue. If a word

14:30

had satah, I would recite it with

14:33

kasran. I would do it all the time. A lot of

14:35

people do it. Like, that's just like one

14:37

thing that is common, like mixing

14:40

up the harakats and things. But me,

14:42

it was severe. It was bad. It was like, I even

14:45

looking at them with half. Like, are

14:47

you even seeing what I'm trying to

14:50

show? No.

14:53

And I couldn't explain it. I'm like, yeah,

14:57

I don't know what to say. But the words,

14:58

the words would look different.

15:00

Yeah, the words would

15:01

look different. Did the words also switch?

15:04

Would you see things

15:04

like switch? Yeah. And

15:07

you could tell it how I would recite. Like,

15:09

let's say, let's say I

15:11

would recite Bismillah ar-Haman ar-Him.

15:13

I'm reciting, rahmani,

15:16

bismillah, rahmani, that would

15:18

literally mix up things.

15:21

Due to the Somali civil war, the

15:23

early years of Aliyah's life were full of

15:26

turmoil. When she was just

15:28

nine years old, Aliyah's parents sent

15:30

her to live with extended family in Norway, in

15:32

hopes of joining her later. I mean,

15:35

this was the loneliest point in young Aliyah's

15:37

life. She was bullied at school

15:39

and at home, separated

15:41

from her beloved Aliyah and living

15:43

in a country where she couldn't even speak

15:46

the language.

15:48

So I was away from

15:51

my mom and my

15:53

brother

15:55

and the rest of my family for

15:57

a good, I think, three, four years.

16:00

I was living with family members that I never

16:02

met before. I obviously

16:04

knew who they were, but

16:07

I never encountered.

16:08

What was it like growing

16:11

up without your parents? You went from

16:13

being with them 24-7 to not growing

16:15

up in a country, first of all, filled with people

16:17

who look nothing like you. Essentially,

16:20

by yourself, does not speak your language.

16:22

What was that life's

16:23

part of life? That was very scary. I'm not going to lie to

16:25

you. As a child, all

16:26

you want is food. A

16:31

playground and your parents.

16:33

And you're good to go. And your friends. Even

16:36

if some kids don't even need friends,

16:38

they're happy

16:41

with their books and their toys. They

16:44

are not attached

16:47

to social life, but they need adults

16:50

around them. Those that keep them safe and

16:53

keep them warm and keep them fed

16:55

and look after them. I did

16:57

have all those things, but technically

16:59

it was from strangers. Growing

17:04

up, I was a very sad

17:07

and lonely kid because when I came

17:09

and started school, I didn't speak the language, obviously.

17:12

I didn't know the culture. I

17:15

was just very sad.

17:19

I would cry literally every

17:21

single night. I think that also pushed

17:23

me. I would have a really bad day.

17:26

And I just looked over to

17:28

my window because I had a musk on top of the

17:30

shelf next to the window. And I

17:32

was like, that's something I

17:35

can read from. That's something I

17:37

can find comfort in. If

17:39

I pick this musk up, then it's

17:41

like I am closer. I'm

17:43

very close to Allah's front. He will help me

17:45

through this situation. I know

17:47

that he was one thing that my

17:49

mom taught me was Allah has Rahm

17:53

over you, then I will ever have over you. And

17:56

I have that. So today I use

17:58

that. I know that. Allah

18:00

had more rahma over me than

18:03

anybody could have when I was a child. All

18:06

the things that I experienced and all the things

18:08

that I went through, Allah had

18:10

the utmost rahma over

18:12

me in those situations. He took

18:15

care of me. So

18:17

when I looked over to the Quran, I remembered Allah

18:19

subhanahu wa ta'ala and I also remembered Ma'ayayo. Those

18:23

two things were like my comfort places. I

18:26

didn't know what I was reciting but

18:28

all I knew was I would find comfort

18:30

in reciting the Quran. I

18:32

knew I couldn't do it with excellence. I

18:35

knew I could recite it. I did

18:38

memorize a lot of it, like maybe 10

18:40

and just at that point. So

18:43

I would pick it up and

18:46

I would sit there crying

18:48

and crying and just pouring my whole heart

18:50

into these ayats. And

18:53

now we just feel like, oh, I

18:55

can take on the world. I still

18:58

have that must have to say and I'm planning

19:00

on giving it to my daughter. I

19:02

don't want to change anything from it. I

19:04

still have the markings for my maulim.

19:07

Things finally started to look

19:09

up for Aliyah. I mean her mother

19:12

and brother joined her and they began to build

19:14

a life together once more. But

19:17

then only just three

19:19

months later, the family get

19:21

a call that once again, flips

19:24

Aliyah's life upside down.

19:27

One day my uncle calls my mom

19:29

and he's like, Paul is in the hospital.

19:33

And I'm like, this is it. She's going to die. She's

19:35

going to die. And everyone I really like

19:38

stopped saying that. I was like, oh,

19:41

watch. Just give her a few days. Three

19:45

days after that phone call, my

19:48

grandma passed away. But

19:50

the thing is, when I said she's going to die,

19:53

I never

19:55

comprehended it what it meant. So

19:57

when my grandma passed away, I was in shock.

20:00

Everyone else was crying around me, but

20:02

I wasn't crying. I was just going

20:04

on with my day. I was going to school. I was coming back

20:06

and then after like the Tassie

20:09

period finished and everything settled and

20:11

everyone's like getting over, not getting

20:13

over, but like coming back to reality

20:16

and going back to work and things slowly

20:18

getting easier for them. That's when

20:20

I started crying because that's when I realized

20:23

for the first time what death meant.

20:28

I could call, but she wouldn't be able to answer.

20:32

I couldn't touch her. Even if I

20:34

wanted to touch her, I wouldn't

20:36

be able to see her face. But

20:39

she once existed. She

20:42

used to breathe, but she's not breathing anymore.

20:46

She was a flesh. And now

20:48

she's like six feet under. She's

20:51

just the person that existed. She

20:54

doesn't exist anymore. To

20:56

me, that was so fascinating. And

21:00

I was like, that's when

21:03

in my head, like my

21:05

brain literally understood what

21:07

it meant to be alive and

21:09

then to be dead. And I also

21:12

understood you're

21:14

not promised tomorrow. And

21:18

I was like, imagine

21:21

as a kid, someone

21:23

so close to you just passing

21:25

away. Like I can't, I

21:28

can't call her. I can't be like, hey,

21:30

how are you today? I can't

21:32

tell her stories. She can't tell me stories. I can't

21:35

hug her anymore. And that's what I've been longing

21:37

for. To me, that

21:39

was like, whoa. And

21:41

I just broke down. I would cry day

21:44

in, day out, day in, day

21:46

out, day in, day out, regretting that

21:48

I wasn't speaking to her every single

21:50

day. Regretting that I didn't tell her that

21:53

I loved her, regretting that I didn't

21:55

hug her enough, regretting that I didn't kiss on

21:57

her face enough. I

21:59

don't know. I was like, oh, I

22:02

just started making da every single

22:04

day, Allah let

22:06

us meet in Jannah because I

22:08

know that's forever that's the meaning

22:11

of infinity all these things

22:13

are happening as a 13 year old in

22:15

my brain and I'm just like, whoa, like

22:18

what's going on? this is what life

22:20

really means like you have the beginning

22:23

and you have an end but Allah is the one that will always

22:25

exist and

22:29

has always existed and

22:31

that's when I just let go of dunya and

22:34

when I say let go of dunya I

22:36

mean let go of dunya I

22:38

didn't care if a kid had like the

22:40

latest shoes or the latest clothes

22:43

I was like, oh, that doesn't even mean anything

22:45

like there's always going to be something better because

22:49

I would always think of my mom just really thought I was

22:51

a depressed kid me

22:53

and her one day, we were going

22:55

for a walk and I was like,

22:57

mom, I don't like this dunya and she

23:00

looked at me and she was like, what do you mean? what happened? I

23:02

was like, this dunya is so sad I

23:05

was like, one day the person you love is here and the

23:07

other one is gone I was like, of course you can enjoy

23:09

the things that are good like I love you,

23:11

I want to be with you I want to be here, I

23:13

don't want to die but I was like, I just

23:16

don't like this dunya it is full of sadness

23:18

and sorrow and agony

23:21

and just it's full of trial

23:23

my mom would be like, well,

23:25

we need to have a siddel like what's going

23:28

on through here are the people still being at school?

23:30

I was like, no, just like, this is what

23:32

dunya means and

23:35

so Han Allah, I was like, like

23:38

all these things that are happening like

23:40

whatever came our way my mom got

23:43

sick in a period of time I was never afraid

23:45

you know what I thought? I was like, it's time for me to

23:47

maybe like start working and taking care of my

23:49

brother it's fine if

23:51

my mom passes away, it's okay it's all alone

23:54

in dunya wow what 30

23:57

year olds make things like this, Han

23:59

Allah

24:00

not a 13 year old

24:02

I know. It seems like,

24:04

and

24:05

I know it sounds so weird, but it seems

24:08

like you woke up from your summer.

24:10

Yeah, literally. You know, there's

24:12

a time where a Muslim wakes up, you

24:15

know, and Allah says, I'll tell you, wakes up and they see everything.

24:18

Like this is unveiling, you know, this unveiling.

24:21

Yeah. And like, often you hear that

24:23

from people who are older,

24:24

you know, when they go through like an unveiling

24:26

or a trial, for first time, they can see

24:28

the dunya in 6K to like, this is

24:31

the

24:31

dunya. The illusion disappears.

24:34

They just see it for what it is, hadla. But

24:36

that happened to you by 13 years old.

24:38

It's really. Wow.

24:41

So what happened

24:43

like after, you know, you're in the space, headspace,

24:46

the journey became maybe

24:48

different. Can you

24:49

explain to me like how it was different?

24:50

OK, so now I understood

24:54

having the Quran in your heart doesn't

24:56

mean memorizing it from the top

24:58

of your head. Having

25:02

the Quran in your heart means learning

25:05

the words of Allah in a way where

25:07

you can act upon them. Your

25:10

khulak, your character

25:13

can become the Quran. In

25:15

order for you to become from aharul

25:17

quran, from the people of quran, you

25:20

don't have to be those that beat it with

25:22

excellence or like memorize

25:24

it. All you have to do is be true with

25:27

Allah's panam tala and

25:29

then true to yourself and your intentions

25:32

and just take it from there. Ayah

25:35

for ayah. Let it take 100

25:37

years as long as you're doing

25:39

it for the sake of Allah. Learning

25:42

these ayahs means you're trying to become a

25:44

better person so you can get into Jannah and see Allah's face.

25:48

That's what I also understood what the biggest reward

25:50

in Jannah is to see Allah's panam tala's

25:52

face and to be with those that you

25:54

love the most. Through

25:56

this period of immense, immense

25:59

difficulty, Aliyah found herself with

26:01

one trusted friend, her

26:03

musaf, which reawakened her

26:05

sense of purpose and love for

26:08

the deen, when reading stories of the prophets,

26:10

even her beloved Marim al-Israam, which

26:13

was a common thread between them of a period

26:15

of isolation which only brought

26:17

them closer to Allah. When

26:19

people expected a high level of perfection from

26:21

her, Aliyah turned to her creator,

26:24

who she knew loved her and accepted

26:26

her as is, even when no

26:28

one was by her side, he, he was

26:31

always there. Aliyah started

26:33

attending a new duxi in Norway, which

26:36

began to heal the wounds from her

26:38

traumatic experiences in Uganda

26:41

in a way that she could have never imagined.

26:45

I was so nervous, I was very nervous.

26:48

I just got married with my musaf, just like

26:50

so shy. Imagine

26:53

this little girl, just like, she doesn't

26:55

know the language, she's not dressed as these

26:58

other kids. And

27:00

I'm just walking into the duxi and

27:03

the man is just like, hi, come, like, welcome. And

27:05

I'm like, why? And

27:08

I just go sit in the back of the duxi.

27:11

And it's like a classroom, the way it's set up

27:13

is like, I'm in school. And these

27:15

kids are behaving however they want to behave.

27:18

There is no structure. They come

27:20

in and go as they both please. To

27:22

me, I was like, whoa, what's happening? It was

27:24

an ultra shock, literally. It's

27:27

not how I know duxi is supposed to be. So

27:30

I sit at the back of the classroom

27:34

and my

27:37

teacher, I look ahead and he

27:39

is this old, sweet

27:42

guy,

27:43

lama baddik. His

27:45

head is basically all white.

27:48

And he has the

27:50

most beautiful smile. Imagine,

27:53

and he has the dark

27:55

part in his forehead, like from the prayer, along

27:58

with the baddik. And he's like,

28:00

Haniah, you're going

28:02

to recite for me. I want to test

28:05

how your recitation is. And

28:08

when I tell you my hands are sweating, and

28:10

I'm like, me? I just

28:12

ask him with me. He's like, yeah, you.

28:15

And I go up to him and he's like, OK, go

28:17

on. Where did you last memorize

28:19

from? And it was Surahaj. And

28:22

then he's like, OK, where did you stop?

28:24

Which ayah? And I told him that ayah. And

28:27

then he was like, OK, let's see. Do

28:31

you want to start all over? Or do you want

28:33

to, if I'm Surahaj till next,

28:35

do you want to do that as in Rajah, you keep

28:37

your repetition? I was like, uh-uh.

28:40

In my head, I'm like, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not starting

28:42

all over again. No, it's not happening. I just want to

28:44

get to Bahar and finish Khalas. I

28:46

just want to go to this and put it to the side. Even

28:49

though I love the Quran and I would really like

28:51

to look in secret all by myself just between me and

28:54

Allah. So he's like, OK,

28:56

if that's what you're comfortable with, then

28:58

that's what you want to do. And then he asked me,

29:01

do you memorize from on top of your head, or do

29:03

you just read from the mouth? I

29:06

looked at him, is that an option? What

29:09

do you mean? Because

29:13

you're like, oh, I could choose?

29:16

Like, you know? I know. Give it. In

29:18

my head, I don't remember an option.

29:21

So what's your fucking name? Nah, you got the. Oh,

29:23

man. Not a new God. No,

29:26

not an option. Either

29:29

you come with your head or

29:31

you don't come at all. It was like you come

29:33

with them like you put an in your head or you don't

29:35

come at all. So I'm like, because

29:39

I'm in, I'm like, OK. I'm

29:44

stuttering, literally. I recited

29:46

to him like half the pages, like, that's

29:48

good. I'm like, you're

29:51

telling me I'm good at something?

29:54

Whoa. That is the first

29:56

time. Because in my head, it wouldn't

29:59

come at all. comes to Quran and teachers they

30:01

don't tell me I'm good they always tell

30:03

me okay do

30:06

you want to go and be do this that's that's like

30:08

you're suspended for me and he's telling

30:10

me oh you're a muharajah good like

30:12

you just missed if he harakah

30:15

here and there look give me almost half I'm

30:17

gonna mark them for you and the next

30:20

time when you get your nirah you can

30:22

just go over them and do

30:24

better okay wow

30:26

excuse me wow are

30:29

you even a muharajah what's

30:32

this who's this person Allah

30:37

when I tell you I was so shocked I was

30:39

shocked yeah so

30:42

I was like okay thank you I went

30:44

back wallahi

30:47

can you believe I became his right hand this

30:50

man really you became

30:52

his kabir yes I became his kabir

30:55

no way you

30:57

went from it's a rags to riches

30:59

story you went from being the poor

31:01

man and you ate the rich girl two seconds

31:04

the glove was crazy we

31:07

know what it was the standard was so low the

31:10

standard was like four so

31:12

me call me a memorized hudj I

31:16

was already his favorite student I

31:18

wasn't already his favorite student but I

31:20

became his favorite student with time

31:23

because I would behave I had really good

31:25

manners I would call him muhalem if

31:28

I was one minute late I'm so sorry

31:30

the bus was late or I would be

31:32

the kid that would come to a ministry early before

31:35

class started and I would

31:37

sit there with my chair pushed

31:39

all the way into the table with my

31:41

back all straight and just like having

31:44

my mishaps there all I would do

31:46

literally was read during the

31:48

class I didn't have friends so I didn't

31:50

have anyone to talk to and have a phone

31:52

to be like playing because kids would have like

31:55

they would make their mishaps

31:58

like stand and they would like be

32:00

on their phones. I didn't have a phone. I

32:02

didn't get a phone until I guess 14 or something. Or

32:05

I would have to leave it at the house before

32:07

I went to Duxy. So

32:10

he just loved me because of my manners,

32:12

mannerism, and how I was speaking

32:14

to him and how seriously

32:17

I would take the one hand. And he didn't

32:19

know. I

32:21

fell in love with the car and more and more

32:24

because of his treatment towards

32:26

me and his encouraging words

32:29

and how he would always tell me, you

32:31

recite the car and with the utmost beautiful

32:34

voice. Like he would say this

32:37

in front of my brother. I was never better

32:39

than my brother when he came to car and what

32:41

do you mean? Excuse me,

32:44

this guy and me, we don't compete. He's already

32:46

like a winner always ever like he's

32:48

always been this. So I love

32:52

them where I did that. I just

32:54

felt more and more and more and more in love

32:56

with teaching the Quran and I

32:58

picked up his ways being with his students.

33:01

Trust me, he had like his moments but

33:04

he wasn't ever

33:07

harsh with me. He would tell me like what's

33:10

up, what's happening? Like I know you can do better.

33:12

I know like Allah has given me a brain. He

33:15

would say things like that. Like he'll use your brain.

33:18

That's what he would say. He would never call me as a

33:20

need. He would never call me an idiot. But

33:23

I would also see how he would treat other kids.

33:26

There were kids that would come there

33:28

and if they could spit in his face

33:30

they would do it. So he would treat them with harshness.

33:33

You know? He would treat every kid

33:35

with how they

33:37

would respond to him in the

33:40

sense of like if that was appropriate

33:42

for this kid then that's how we would deal with this kid.

33:44

If this kid has to be turned out of the classroom

33:47

to show that this is not okay he would do that.

33:49

If he had to call their parents he would call their parents.

33:52

My auntie never called my teacher and this

33:54

was like a routine thing every single day. Every

33:57

single time we had Quran it would call someone's

33:59

parents. Wow, how

34:01

long? Me? Alhamdulillah.

34:04

The only time we called was maybe if the bill was like,

34:08

oh yeah, Aliyyah and her brother never came with the money.

34:11

It's like time for them to, I don't know, my mom

34:13

would be like, yeah, yeah, I'm sorry,

34:15

I forgot about it. And then that's the only time.

34:18

It wasn't just Aliyyah's Quran

34:21

that helped us feel good about herself. Like

34:23

a light at the end of the tunnel. Aliyyah

34:26

finally got an answer. She

34:28

was not a demean, an idiot.

34:32

And her struggles with reading the Quran were

34:34

not indicative of her efforts nor

34:36

abilities. Matter of fact, a

34:39

medical diagnosis held

34:41

a missing puzzle piece. And

34:44

it was called dyslexia.

34:47

I got diagnosed when I was 12, but

34:49

when I got my diagnosis, I

34:52

was still very new to the Norwegian

34:55

language. And when

34:58

my mom found out about it, she was

35:00

like, my daughter doesn't have this,

35:03

so she was so oblivious to it. So

35:05

to me, I was not allowed to

35:07

speak of it. So

35:11

when I got the diagnosis and my teachers were like, yeah,

35:13

you have this disability because

35:15

it is literally a learning disability.

35:19

So my diagnosis was

35:21

very much ignored up until I was

35:23

in eighth grade, I think when I was 14. So

35:26

you knew about the learning disability when you started to see Norway, right?

35:29

Yeah, I knew about it, yes. But

35:31

at the same time, I didn't really

35:33

know what it meant. Because

35:36

when my mom would get these texts or like

35:38

this letter from the school and things,

35:42

my daughter doesn't have this, so people are just talking. But

35:46

things, we simply don't know what they were doing, I think. Because

35:49

it's just a thing, I feel like, as a

35:51

mom, sometimes, we just

35:53

look, what do you mean, my daughter can't

35:56

read, she can read. What do

35:58

you mean, your daughter has difficulty? with

36:00

spelling and things he has called. What

36:02

do you mean? You know? They don't understand

36:05

the bigger picture. And I

36:07

feel like sometimes it's a miscommunication.

36:11

If someone that they trust

36:13

doesn't explain it to them, then

36:16

it's just something that's crazy. I

36:18

don't know how to explain it. It's survival. Our

36:20

parents came here, and they're on defense,

36:23

right?

36:24

They just want us not to have the opportunity

36:26

that everybody else has. And that's

36:29

what it looks like to them. Somebody's trying to shut the door on their kid

36:32

and say, they'll never

36:34

succeed or get this or get that. I

36:36

know that you guys put it behind you when

36:38

you did a test for dyslexia. And you said

36:40

you didn't really understand it.

36:42

But at any point did the diagnosis

36:44

bring you peace

36:46

after being called a demean? Like,

36:48

it was a relief because also I am putting

36:50

in the right amount of effort. It's just,

36:53

there's something wrong with me. Why is

36:55

there something wrong with me? You know? And

36:58

then came all these questions like, well,

37:01

what does that mean? Like, I can spell and I can

37:03

read. And I can do all

37:05

these things, but okay. So

37:07

I'm slow. Let's start with,

37:10

like, why am I slow? So

37:12

in my head, it was both.

37:15

Like, okay, I

37:18

am putting in the amount of effort that

37:21

I'm supposed to put in,

37:23

but I'm also disabled

37:26

in a way. And

37:29

this became an insecurity. And

37:32

I started to hide, like,

37:35

very deep down. I wouldn't talk

37:37

about it because every time I would tell my

37:39

parents or I would say, because I had

37:42

dyslexia, stop using that as an excuse.

37:46

They're just trying to put you down. Like, they're just trying to put

37:48

you behind everyone else. If

37:50

you put in the amount, like, just, they

37:52

were like, sometimes I would hear, like, stop wasting

37:54

the papers and the

37:56

pencils. Like, if you're not gonna

37:59

do it right. than just stop doing it at all.

38:02

I feel like at Somalis we just have a very

38:04

harsh way of the

38:07

tough love is just doing that different level when

38:09

it comes to like it's just different.

38:12

And I feel like a lot of us are suffering

38:14

with dyslexia or different

38:16

things sometimes it's just difficulties

38:20

that we cannot do

38:23

anything about and the people

38:25

around us are just saying you're

38:27

the problem you're just lazy you're

38:30

just a kid that's hard-headed oh that's

38:33

that one that's the thing hard-headed

38:36

here's the kid that refuses to get things

38:38

done you're just a kid that does not have ambitions

38:41

what kid does not want to get A's

38:43

in school which kid doesn't want

38:46

to play sports and become like an alien

38:48

in it every kid I feel like

38:50

wants to be great at everything

38:52

that they do whether it is like sprinting

38:55

writing like it's just

38:58

everything I feel this

39:00

is a core belief every

39:02

kid wants to be praised by

39:04

their teachers by their parents

39:08

and they also want to be praised by

39:10

their friends everyone wants to win

39:13

that medal was behind Allah

39:16

first of all life is just tough and

39:18

all of us can't be the ones that get the

39:20

medal that's just how life works but

39:23

as a kid trust me if

39:25

there is a reward you will try

39:27

to get that candy you will try to

39:29

get that medal you will try to get that

39:31

praise from your parents you will try

39:34

to get like whatever it means

39:36

to get the number one

39:38

kid that gets the attention even

39:40

if you're the shyest kid you

39:42

will want that as probable and that's

39:44

just the nature in humans they like to

39:47

compete with each other but

39:49

when you always say oh you're just lazy

39:52

oh you're just this as a kid for

39:54

me it's just like like

39:57

I don't believe it a kid being lazy

40:00

in sports, okay

40:02

they might not like it, but if there is a price

40:04

to win, they will do everything. Except

40:07

if there is disability for them that's stopping

40:10

them.

40:11

We often hear that Allah tests

40:13

those he loves,

40:15

and for Aliyah,

40:17

the test did not stop at our disability. Allah

40:20

sent her yet another challenge,

40:23

but this time it came

40:26

with some strange insights.

40:29

I got sick, and

40:31

when I got sick, I

40:35

got

40:37

like lots of memory. Really?

40:41

I had to really,

40:43

I can remember

40:44

none of my closest people. I forgot

40:47

the timeline. I forgot where

40:49

I was, where I was living,

40:52

and SubhanAllah, the only thing I could remember

40:54

was the must-have thought, and so

40:57

my husband

40:59

gave me the must-have and I would just recite Surah

41:02

Baqarah on top of

41:04

my head, and that

41:07

was a miracle from Allah SubhanAllah. My

41:11

Raja is not good at all. Trust

41:13

me, I promise you, the

41:15

best may be the first 20, not

41:18

even that 15 pages of Surah Baqarah,

41:20

maybe I get two, three mistakes,

41:22

the rest is not that good. I

41:25

said you did not make one mistake,

41:27

not one mistake. And

41:33

he was just like yes continue, and

41:35

Alhamdulillah after three days, I was

41:37

better. I was back to my own

41:40

self. I was

41:43

just amazed.

41:44

What a place to be found.

41:46

Like imagine you're lost,

41:49

right? Everyone gets lost somewhere,

41:51

Aliyah. That's life. We all get lost. But

41:54

if I could choose where I get lost,

41:57

and they know they can find me here, if I

41:59

come back.

41:59

back here

42:01

would be the Book of Allah.

42:02

You know what that means, right? That means

42:05

a peace of you is attached to the Quran.

42:08

You know?

42:09

What an honor, like,

42:12

to have that kind of... I'm sorry,

42:14

I think that's what I'm thinking. But

42:16

I can't give away no, because

42:18

I wish that was my case.

42:20

You know? Like, I wish I could say

42:22

that that's my problem. You

42:24

know, that if I were to get lost, I

42:26

was close to the Book of Allah that much. Pain

42:30

and loss are factors of life. There's

42:33

no escaping the mental, physical,

42:36

and emotional trials they bring. But

42:38

how we choose to make sense of these struggles is

42:41

what determines how they will

42:43

shape our lives moving forward. Aliyah

42:47

roots her understanding of her unique journey

42:50

through the words of Allah Subh'anaHu

42:53

Wa Ta'ala.

42:55

I would say, Allah Subh'ana

42:57

Tawala says, In the Quran and in

42:59

the Mahalo S.A. Me

43:02

having dyslexia is just

43:05

a hardship, but there is also ease. Alhamdulillah,

43:09

I am so grateful for my dyslexia because

43:13

of what it has brought to my life,

43:15

and the fact that person that it has

43:17

changed me into.

43:19

But all the hardships and

43:21

all the things that I went through

43:23

from my grandma passing, me

43:25

living without my parents and my family,

43:28

and being essentially bullied

43:31

in school, and

43:34

also being severely sick.

43:37

All this all

43:40

proves that there is also ease in it, and the ease has always

43:42

been the Quran.

43:45

Because once Allah promises

43:47

something, He never breaks it. There were hardships, but

43:52

there was also ease, and the ease was going

43:54

always back to the Quran, finding my

43:57

comfort and finding my home.

46:00

to the world and what it actually

46:02

means to be living in Dunyidunya.

46:05

The Quran

46:07

gives me that hope, it gives me that

46:09

push, it gives me that motivation to work

46:11

harder every single day, to become

46:13

a better person and to be a good

46:15

slave. And you know what's so amazing

46:18

about finding true love in

46:20

the Quran? It will never break

46:22

your heart. You know like the

46:25

love that you have with other people, essentially

46:28

like whether it is like you

46:30

get into conflict with them, like

46:32

you will truly see them for who they are one

46:34

way or another. Even like

46:37

our mothers, like you

46:39

know that love that Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

46:41

has put in them? For us the

46:43

mother for a child and the child for their

46:45

mom. It will

46:47

like if you push the right buttons,

46:50

Allahi you will see that that

46:52

love is not like the type of

46:54

love that is between Allah and his slaves.

46:58

And it will

46:59

break your heart one way or another.

47:01

There is an ayah specifically, Allahi

47:03

ala kam to put upon it. So

47:05

much you know that I have my own family.

47:08

In Quran, verse 3

47:11

Allah says Allah says

47:28

Never will your relatives or your children

47:31

benefit you and on the day of judgment

47:34

he will judge between you and

47:36

then Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala ends the ayah

47:38

with Allah be

47:40

my Talmudun abbasir. Allah

47:43

knows what you are doing and he

47:45

sees that. And when I think

47:47

about subhanahu wa ta'ala this, I can

47:50

love my mother and my brother and my kids

47:52

and my husband and my friends and all

47:54

these people. So that is so dear to my heart.

47:57

But essentially on the day of judgment Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala

47:59

says We will separate

48:01

us and then it will make judgment

48:04

between us. I don't know

48:06

why I always say this. I think it

48:08

taught me to not love someone

48:10

to that level other

48:12

than Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. Because

48:15

Allah does not make any mistakes and

48:18

He is Allah, not when I

48:20

made the ones that created you. He

48:22

knows you better than yourself and He is closer

48:24

to you than you are in Jawah Al-Rabi. If

48:27

you want to love someone, love Allah, it

48:30

always goes back to Allah subhanahu wa

48:32

ta'ala. If you are alone

48:34

and you have Allah, you have everything

48:37

that you need in this thing. If

48:39

you have Allah that is more than enough

48:41

for you, imagine subhanahu

48:43

wa ta'ala. When you think about the people

48:45

in Jannah, most of them are

48:48

from the Subh'ara. They did

48:50

not have anything in this life except

48:52

that no Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala. And

48:55

that was more than enough because

48:57

they knew that He was the one that was taking

49:00

care of all their fears. You have

49:02

Allah, you have everything you need in this

49:04

life and more.

49:17

Allah subhanahu

49:20

wa ta'ala.

49:27

When

49:27

you think about the people in Jannah, most of

49:29

them are from the Subh'ara.

49:31

If you are alone and you have everything

49:34

that you need in this life, then

49:36

you

49:36

have everything that you need

49:40

in this life.

49:46

SubhanAllah, how

49:49

many of us have gone through a

49:51

period in our 20s and 30s of feeling so

49:53

lost

49:54

and so alone?

49:55

I could tell you countless stories of

49:58

when I felt that way. I

50:01

still to some degree feel that way even in my

50:03

30s if I'm being completely honest.

50:06

For me the story served as a huge

50:08

reminder to let the Quran be your guide and

50:10

your companion on your journey through this journey. Reflect

50:14

on the eye of your reading. Apply the

50:16

key lessons in your life. Just

50:18

like you're sitting here every week taking

50:21

in the stories we share with you through TDS, I

50:24

want you to put the same level of dedication into

50:27

dabur, reflection, and

50:29

connecting with the words of Allah. Because

50:32

we need him. There's

50:35

nothing else to say besides the fact of like we

50:38

need Allah subh'ala wa ta'ala, we need

50:40

his blueprint, we need

50:42

his words, we need

50:45

his guidance.

50:50

Thank you, thank you for listening to this beautiful

50:53

episode. I mean I loved every

50:56

minute of it. May Allah

50:58

subh'ala make us amongst the people of Quran

51:00

and keep us all on the straight path.

51:03

I mean before I go I have to give a shout out to my wonderful

51:05

team that produces incredible episode. A

51:08

shout out to our guest producer, Hwaya Bizaid,

51:10

our lead producer, Hana Azin, our

51:12

guest editor and first timer, Salah

51:15

Imurah, our graphic designer, Wasim

51:17

Afar, our project manager, Maheen

51:19

Khan, our sound designer, Youssou

51:22

Dallazou, and our marketing extraordinaire,

51:24

Sosin Al-Dulahi. I'll see you guys

51:26

next week, next Friday in your

51:29

ears, in your speakers telling

51:32

you a good story. Alright

51:35

guys before you leave I have one more

51:37

thing to tell you okay this

51:39

is a big deal so really listen up. Now

51:42

after every episode drop you will

51:44

have okay listen up special

51:46

access to behind the scenes content which

51:49

now includes extended interview

51:51

cuts, notes from the producer

51:53

and all of the archival

51:56

content we didn't get to include

51:58

in the episode. Imagine that. After

52:01

the show is now live and exclusively

52:04

on iTunes. The episodes will drop

52:06

after every new episode on Friday, so

52:08

go subscribe right now. Get

52:10

access for free through an Apple Podcast

52:13

subscription

52:13

or by

52:15

subscribing for $1.99 USD

52:16

monthly and annually

52:19

for only $3.99 USD.

52:22

Sign off guys, it's going to be amazing.