0:01

As-salamu alaykum wa-rahmatullahi

0:04

wa-barakatuh. It is

0:06

your sister and friend and bestie you

0:08

already know and you're listening to the

0:10

Digital Stair podcast. Now

0:13

you guys, I'm extremely excited about this

0:15

episode. I'm not about to tell you

0:17

just one story. I'm not about to

0:20

just introduce you to just, you

0:22

know, I guess you don't know. I'm

0:24

about to introduce you to a bunch of people

0:26

that you do know but maybe didn't know. Or

0:29

maybe you do know because you're a bit nosy or you

0:31

don't know and now I'm about to introduce

0:33

you to your family. Now

0:35

there have been so many episodes that

0:38

have meant so much to you guys. Episodes

0:42

you guys have re-listened to, episodes that you

0:44

guys have taken a real take into, episodes

0:47

that you often go back to whenever you

0:49

need that reminder. The

0:51

thing that makes these episodes special is not only the

0:53

guest or myself but

0:55

it's also the women behind the episodes

0:57

that put it together and have it

1:00

ready for you to listen. It's

1:02

the crafters, it's the

1:04

producers, it's the project managers, it's

1:07

the people chasing these stories down,

1:09

standing at the head to ensure they get

1:12

the best stories for you guys who essentially

1:14

put their heart and soul into these stories,

1:16

into these episodes so they can be what

1:18

they need to be for you.

1:22

They're also some of my favorite people ever

1:25

because I work so closely with them and I

1:27

love them personally and it feels like a family

1:29

behind the scenes. Now we don't call ourselves a

1:31

digital sisterhood for no reason okay. We

1:33

are really literally, quite literally a digital sisterhood

1:36

behind the scenes and you'll know

1:39

what I mean when you get to know

1:41

them personally but without further ado, because you

1:43

know I can talk on a long talk you can't be, I'm

1:45

gonna call you a shot. I

1:47

do with this British accent because I don't know if you

1:49

guys know but we're being taken over

1:51

by the Brits at TDS, literally

1:54

being taken over by the Brits. I have a British accent

1:56

every now and then because of them But

1:59

without further ado. do women it easy to

2:01

my favorite people. Ever. Ever

2:03

Ever Ever. And who bring all the

2:05

magic and love. This. Is the

2:07

podcast key? First of, I'm so excited

2:10

about this. Absolutely injured for first. we've

2:12

never all bid on. I

2:14

might together talking to each had our

2:16

side when we're working. I'm so I'm

2:18

really really excited to dislike. You don't

2:20

get to know you guys ah but

2:22

I I wanted to only does offers

2:24

before we start. For those who are

2:27

you people who are you reply to

2:29

this guy of those go you se

2:31

le coup that girl and in a

2:33

minute then it. Said

2:36

before you are you were who

2:38

who had a where you from

2:40

credit for every one seventy from

2:42

filmmaker money. Had us from

2:45

London, South London. Of

2:47

get what is what were. Good to get what

2:49

they do. it. But

2:52

specifics effects I. Never

2:54

know that operate in a room. Cover for

2:56

credited for it was. Lucky

3:00

with their. Faces

3:07

in South London. other like to cross the. River.

3:13

Produce. And.

3:18

Summer. Twenty Twenty Three or in

3:20

that series him and nine

3:22

Titan working with a team

3:24

and everyone gets inner city

3:26

but I was listening to

3:28

her to work and it's

3:30

like another for cause of

3:32

fun. Before. The

3:34

Super Girls in a Hangar now

3:36

has a minority guys. Yeah.

3:39

of he has been it's been such a worldwind

3:41

and i will say like a td as we

3:43

only really take people who don't feel like we're

3:46

very rarely do the work of people never heard

3:48

of us i think the only person we've worked

3:50

with his user who the thought about it now

3:52

everybody been been part of the see the as

3:54

my feel circle a family yet we've never go

3:57

on my keys are his by the the guys

3:59

eat or new Moroccan Jonathan okay, but

4:01

one day maybe it's all up

4:04

She gets to come on the mic you guys get to know it

4:06

is so much, but I think you have Always

4:09

24 7 but thank

4:11

you had a pre introduction Next

4:13

here. I see is Mahin mean

4:15

please tell us who are you? I'm

4:17

racing guys. I am

4:19

my heen I am exos Now

4:23

Northwest London girlie I'm

4:25

a mama my beautiful Samir I have to give her

4:28

a shout out because you know you hear in the

4:30

back of the podcast you hear a crying You're laughing.

4:32

That's you here. I have also

4:34

been here since summer. I

4:36

am production manager here at the podcast And

4:39

I love my belly See

4:45

what I met when I said the bridge for taking

4:47

over us Well, I'm glad tonight. I don't know why

4:49

I like to take the as you guys always say

4:51

the piss, but I love my bricks I really really

4:54

do um You

4:57

think so guys she's lying a little

5:00

bit though. I've heard other cool London the curse

5:02

Oh, no, no, no, I didn't call the curse

5:04

line softball on stuff. It'll not to be like

5:06

softball I think I didn't call the curse line.

5:08

I called it a third world country That's what

5:10

I said and to

5:12

be honest that is not your I

5:14

promise you a little bit better. Listen

5:16

listen Listen listen, we don't have Five

5:20

lanes. Yeah five lanes your

5:22

road is So

5:25

bad things will continue oh my god It's

5:30

a very scary. I'm not guys am I lying about

5:32

I feel like you guys agree. I've never seen you

5:34

guys he protests Canada history can

5:36

are scary. I never rated Canada my god.

5:38

I'm scared. I'm embarrassed of where I'm from

5:41

to what the heck Especially

5:43

with everything going on Yeah

5:49

I was I was shocked when I was like oh, I'm freezing and then

5:51

they brought me a hot water But I said what the hell why'd you

5:53

just turn on the heat? What is this

5:55

hot water, but I was so appalled like I was

5:57

like I feel like I lived in the medieval ages

5:59

I said, what in the world?

6:01

What in the ghetto is happening?

6:04

And what happened to that? But honestly, I feel like

6:06

the ghetto, forget about the ghetto, I feel you guys

6:09

are wonderful people. Because you know, you just guys are.

6:11

You guys have all the personality, all the fun, all

6:13

the laughter. You guys are just who you are as

6:15

well. But let's take it

6:18

to Africa. Koe

6:20

please introduce yourselves. Sister

6:22

Africa, Miss Africa. Assalamu

6:25

alaikum, guys. So I'm Hoya.

6:27

I am associate producer. I've

6:30

been working with TDS

6:33

since February 2022. So

6:36

two years almost, I

6:38

think. Right. And I've

6:41

worked on a few episodes. Her

6:43

name is Hannah, Rachel and all

6:45

his friends, all that good stuff.

6:49

Yeah, I love it here and I'm from Mauritania. I

6:51

don't know if I mentioned that. And for people that

6:54

don't know, and I know a lot of you don't,

6:56

which you should be embarrassed about, but I'm not

6:59

here to judge anyone. It's

7:01

in North Africa between Morocco and

7:04

Senegal. And yeah, that's me.

7:08

And they have fitness classes in Mauritania. Yeah, they

7:10

do. You know what? I

7:12

don't like... Yeah. Do you

7:14

know what? I think I might take this time as well to let

7:16

you guys know that all of

7:18

the TDS group are so

7:21

whitewashed. It's amazing. Not me. I'm

7:23

Hoya, Hoya, Hoya, Hoya. I'm 100% Wakanda. I'm 100%

7:25

Wakanda. Stop by to do this. Hoya, Hoya, Hoya.

7:27

One line, stop by one line. I'm not... There

7:29

are stop members like they're not me. You all

7:31

whitewashed on the teeth. What is it about me?

7:33

It's about me. I didn't mean anything. The

7:36

African statement. Everybody's so surprised. Stop

7:38

by me. I didn't make that

7:40

comment. I'm from Africa. What the heck?

7:43

Wait, wait, wait. When I tell them, I don't

7:45

live under a tent but in a house? You let

7:47

me tell you how to apply. No,

7:51

you know, you're gonna get a chance. Well,

7:57

first of all, everybody on the team is black. And

8:00

the rest of us are colored. I

8:02

promise you, there is no proof in her of

8:04

what she's saying. That

8:06

girl is surprised. I

8:08

only think color in which she is. It's

8:10

so big and people are like, now we have

8:12

to continue marketing each other. Alright,

8:15

alright. You guys, she's

8:17

good. Sometimes I, and on

8:19

like a day or two during the week,

8:21

I do enjoy my time working with them,

8:23

but it depends on the day. Yeah, yeah,

8:25

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay.

8:29

Congratulations for giving me a chaotic introduction.

8:32

Everyone, thank you. I feel like, I feel

8:34

like that's it. Thank

8:36

you for listening everybody. That's about it. Okay. Bye.

8:42

But yes, I love

8:45

all you guys. You guys already know.

8:47

And thank you guys for doing this

8:49

episode and sharing yourselves to everyone. So

8:51

I kind of wanted to break the ice. By

8:55

playing the infamous, can I get a

8:57

little bit of a drum roll please?

9:03

You already know we're going to play

9:05

vibe check. And

9:09

if you guys don't know what vibe check is, it's a

9:11

card game that TDS came up with to

9:13

make getting to know people from

9:15

marriage easier. It's a question prompt

9:17

game where you can ask questions to a

9:19

person you're getting to know and get the

9:21

details that you need to know because we

9:23

are done with asking

9:26

the potential person to talk to their favorite color

9:28

because that's not going to do nothing for you.

9:30

That's not going to pay your bills girl. We

9:32

need to know the nitty gritty. 2024

9:35

everybody to get married. You get me? Everybody needs to

9:37

get married. Matter of fact, I'll ask the married people

9:39

on this, on the team later at the end of

9:41

this episode. So maybe marriage advice because you all need

9:43

to get it together. Yeah, and they're married. But

9:46

vibe check is currently in restock. So

9:49

go ahead if it's not, if this episode will come

9:51

out and it's not sold out because you know how

9:53

vibe check will be doing. So long every five minutes.

9:56

But if it's available, it's available guys. Go check it out and show all

9:58

and get yourself. VIVE CHECK!

10:01

Okay, so normally this game is played with

10:03

a man and a woman. It's

10:05

really really good in my opinion. But I'm

10:07

gonna, we're gonna play the game as a team and

10:10

I want to see what your answers

10:12

would have been if somebody would have

10:14

asked you this question. So our first

10:16

icebreaker question is, it's

10:18

gonna be from the intimacy section. Because we're

10:21

gonna, we're gonna dig deep. We're gonna dig

10:23

deep with each other. So the

10:25

first question to all of you guys is, if

10:28

we feel unhappy with each other, right? Let's

10:30

say you and this particular person getting through

10:32

is unhappy with each other. What

10:35

would be the best way for you guys to talk

10:37

about it? How would you have answered that question?

10:40

Fight. Fight! Fight.

10:43

Fight. And, and, and, oh my god. Fight.

10:47

You know, go with toes, right? Go, you know

10:49

that fighting, we don't condone violence. But

10:51

you know, sometimes fighting is, sometimes fighting

10:54

is okay. I have a type of

10:56

question. Is it an honest answer or

10:58

is it, because you know you said if, if

11:01

we weren't married, because

11:03

I have a different real answer and I have a different answer so

11:05

I was trying to get someone to marry me. Oh no! Okay, okay,

11:07

okay, wait, wait, wait, wait. That's a,

11:09

that's a spicy, that's a, wait, wait,

11:12

wait, okay, let me, let me, let

11:14

me, okay, wait a minute, wait a

11:16

minute. Okay, so

11:19

I want honest answers. But

11:21

remember you're talking to somebody you're getting to know from marriage,

11:23

right? And you're asking them what would they would have been

11:25

like if they were married. So if you were unhappy, let's

11:27

say okay, okay, I don't condone

11:29

switching up answers just to marry a guy.

11:31

Because you're gonna look crazy when you marry

11:33

this guy you realize nah, I can't. You're

11:36

a kid and whatever but you're actually crazy. You

11:38

know what I'm saying? And I don't want this to happen

11:40

to everybody. It's problematic. You know? So

11:42

you really, it's a big problem. You want to

11:44

be able to answer authentically so you can find

11:46

your authentic person. Are we just trying

11:49

to marry any Bob, Abdullah, and Ahmed? Sure.

11:51

Abdullah, Ahmed, or tell me our, our Mohammed.

11:55

You know what I'm saying? Like which one is it? So

11:57

I'm gonna ask the question again, okay? If

11:59

we feel... unhappy with each other what's the

12:01

best way for us to talk about it?

12:05

What if it's heated after a

12:07

pause don't talk about it in the moment

12:10

take time apart go for a walk do

12:12

something and speaking from experience guys

12:15

I got married in lockdown Oh

12:18

I heard lockdown marriages if

12:20

you survive that you can survive anything That

12:22

was five years in one it

12:25

was a lot so if you can go for

12:27

a walk and take some time apart

12:30

and then because I feel like I

12:32

don't know because I think because I've moved

12:35

from home it's a bit different because I

12:37

know why you have those trigger points what

12:40

not to say or like I know how to

12:43

approach some things so I think it is

12:45

a bit different I can't extract myself from

12:47

the situation do you get what I

12:49

mean like it's yeah so

12:51

I know how to talk to him I know how

12:53

to like give him a

12:55

compliment first like I know you're doing

12:57

x y z but this point A

13:00

is not really coming you

13:04

know it's not really like matching y1

13:07

and maybe kind of make it like a personal thing

13:09

like this is something that I want and I want

13:12

you to change

13:15

for me as opposed to like this

13:17

is how you react for everyone yeah

13:19

I personally just a question for you

13:21

guys who are married you know like

13:23

if I'm unhappy I have I

13:26

learned this new thing it's not new really but

13:28

I just recently learned this about myself which is

13:30

our attachment like actions attachment

13:33

avoid it avoid it you know secure

13:35

I noticed that I realized that I'm

13:37

anxious so whenever there's a problem I

13:39

want to resolve it right there I

13:42

don't want long talk I don't want I have

13:44

to think about it and no I don't

13:46

want that it's like okay you're unhappy I'm not happy I

13:48

like I need to get off my chest list talking through

13:50

it and called but then that's not reality

13:52

some people don't handle things that way some people need

13:54

time and I'm like I can't I can't imagine that

13:56

being frustrating for me you know a little bit

13:58

because of like Yeah! Yeah!

14:02

Because it's like, I'm very similar

14:04

to you in the, I do want to resolve

14:06

it now. And on top of that, it's not

14:08

just that, because I want to resolve it, it's

14:10

because I can't do anything else. So

14:13

my husband can just continue with work, he

14:15

can continue looking after the baby, like he

14:18

can just continue, like, like, you know? Yeah.

14:20

But I'm like, dwelling

14:22

on it, I'm like, simmering, and it's

14:24

just gonna reach boiling point. I think

14:26

it's just kind of coming like halfway, and

14:30

letting him know like, okay, I know we

14:32

need time, because he always needs time to like,

14:34

kind of gather his thoughts. I know we need

14:36

time, but I'll give you a

14:38

day as opposed to two, three days, right?

14:40

And I want you to then come back

14:42

to me, because you know I'm upset, so you

14:44

come to me then, when you're ready, and I'll just

14:46

try to read a book. Oh yeah, yeah. You

14:49

and I are told that way, what about everybody else? Yeah.

14:52

You know what, I would say one thing is,

14:54

because every situation is not gonna be the same,

14:57

you know? Like, just because you're having an argument,

14:59

and I don't have to say right if you

15:01

answer the question, but don't let everything else fall

15:03

apart. Like, one thing me and my husband will

15:05

do, like, even if we're arguing, if I'm making

15:08

lunch, like, maybe we won't eat together, but

15:10

I'll still go and make him lunch. I will silently go

15:12

and hand him that chicken sandwich, you know? And he'll do

15:14

the same for me. And then that reminds the other person

15:16

that you know what, this fight is not

15:18

the be all and all, because that, you know, like, we

15:20

still love each other. If you do those little acts, if

15:23

he goes for a walk, he'll sometimes he'll go test going,

15:25

he'll bring back a chocolate bar. And then I think, I

15:28

love this guy, you know? He knows my favourite chocolate.

15:30

And it brings it back to the end. Don't

15:33

take everything away. Don't sleep separately.

15:36

Take the time that you need, but don't take

15:38

everything away. I love

15:40

that. I think it's also, do you know what I

15:42

think for me that I learned recently? Is

15:45

learning where I am in my cycle, and

15:48

that pivots everything. Because I

15:50

know, like, just before my

15:52

period, don't talk to me.

15:55

Yeah, yeah. We know how to do this on the

15:57

stage at this point. After

15:59

this. Like yeah, we can really

16:01

grow steep and see the issues But

16:04

in the meantime, we can just be kind of

16:06

like, not just civil, but kind of be

16:08

like Okay, I love you, I love you, we're still good,

16:10

we're still friends But we'll come

16:12

to the situation after my period

16:14

passes And that's 110% how

16:17

it's made for guys in

16:19

a manual cycle And then

16:21

when to talk and keep quiet By

16:24

the way, it's very powerful what you're saying I

16:26

just recently started to like monitor my cycle And

16:28

because there's also times where you have a lot

16:30

of energy, right? And then manage your cycle

16:32

based on your workload And the way that you go to

16:34

the gym and the way that you interact Oh my god,

16:36

it changed my... Because you know, when you're

16:38

not paying attention to your cycle You start to feel

16:41

like you're sad every day You're like, what the

16:43

hell wrongs me? And in reality, you weren't And

16:47

so it can kind of really confuse you But just

16:49

knowing about your body can really change

16:51

how your relationships with other people And the way

16:53

that you interact, I honestly agree That's part of...

16:55

That's why part of learning and adulting is about

16:57

cycle And you

16:59

be very surprised So sometimes my husband

17:01

can make a joke and I'll laugh about it

17:03

Sometimes I'll cry And I'm like, ahhhhh! You

17:06

know what life sometimes is? You

17:09

know the thing is, there are moments where I'm

17:11

like, Ah, yeah, like men really

17:14

need to deal well

17:16

in terms of their partner But then I realize

17:18

they're also crazy I don't care what no one

17:20

says Men are also not normal They

17:23

have their moments of irrationality They have moments

17:25

of like, you know So I just think

17:27

we're just a specimen of imperfections We're all

17:29

imperfect, there are no way And we use

17:31

wisdom to work with each other, you know,

17:33

and patience That's what, you know, like people

17:35

always say, Oh, like when you talk about

17:37

our cycles And we're like, yeah, this is

17:40

why women are like, nah, everyone is not

17:42

normal And everyone has their thing At least

17:44

I like to argue that women like, can

17:46

locate it quicker They be like, yeah, yeah, yeah

17:48

I'm definitely, I'm definitely, you

17:50

know, on the cycle I mean, what do they call

17:52

the loot, the loot deal? I'm

17:56

in my falacular phase, you know, you can get, if

17:58

you ask me for million dollars in the face I

18:01

might just give it to you you know which

18:03

is like which is kind of scary to

18:05

think about it maybe we shouldn't tell men

18:08

about our vernacular face no kidding my eyes

18:10

like it allows my husband to see yeah

18:12

he can see for him yeah

18:14

see I love that I see I love that

18:16

I love that that's beautiful is that weird I

18:18

think that's really beautiful I think the fact that

18:20

you love it I love it

18:23

knows you're what you're going through based on weeks

18:25

that's kind of deep you know you

18:28

can know when to joke when

18:32

to just bring chocolates

18:34

winter you know be

18:37

out of sight be out of sight

18:39

you know but what about

18:41

you let me say yeah and

18:44

I'm not confrontational at all so I

18:46

don't know I wouldn't

18:48

be able to say this I'm not

18:50

married yeah and and I don't like

18:52

confrontation in like generally

18:54

speaking like relationships friendships etc

18:57

and so what I

18:59

usually do is when I think it's not a big deal

19:01

I just don't like I

19:03

fix it within like just between

19:05

me and myself so that makes sense which is

19:08

not a good thing I know and I'm working

19:10

on it in 2024 I'm trying to be you

19:12

would be my worst nightmare confrontational if I marry

19:14

a guy like you and

19:16

you know you would notice because I would

19:18

always have that shift of energy where I'm

19:20

doing yeah yeah you know outside I you

19:22

but I won't say anything I

19:26

could be the toxic person I know

19:29

no no no you're not you're not

19:32

you're not toxic I

19:39

think I think I think all of this is

19:42

just knowing the person deeply but just

19:44

because because you're maybe maybe you're not

19:46

confrontational maybe you're secure believe

19:49

it or not maybe you're a secure attached and

19:51

but I feel like if somebody's anxious and somebody's

19:53

just kind of not recognizing the problem and doesn't

19:55

like confrontation I'm like I'm not trying to be

19:57

confrontational I'm trying to solve the problem You

20:00

know, see how I say a problem guys? See how

20:02

I did that with the rich accent? See, I have

20:04

to catch myself. Oh my god. I have to catch

20:06

myself. You speak Brooklyn. You really have a Brooklyn accent.

20:08

Yeah, I do. Very good. A rich accent. I think

20:11

it really is. After you try to do Samari, right?

20:14

Maybe it is. Maybe it is. I can't believe it.

20:16

Yeah, maybe. Maybe it is. Maybe I am seeing this

20:18

from my accent guys. Maybe it isn't

20:21

British that I'm doing. I wanted this whole time after

20:23

you're doing it. Maybe you're right guys. I'm confusing my

20:25

accent. You're the only

20:27

one here that's met all of us, right?

20:29

Yeah. Love to know what you thought of

20:31

all of us before and then after meeting

20:33

us. The

20:38

thing is, is like, you know, my favorite thing

20:40

is people. Like I love people. I'm everything people.

20:44

And I like, I love

20:46

being wrong about people. That's, I know it sounds weird, but

20:48

I love being wrong. I love what people tell me. Nah,

20:51

you gotta be wrong. Like, you know, like,

20:53

oh, that's so cool. So I remember,

20:55

I think you surprised me too as

20:57

well. Because Hoya is like, guys, if

20:59

you know Hoya, she's very sweet, very

21:01

kind, very smiley. But when I met

21:03

her in Spain, I saw

21:06

spicy Hoya. I met

21:08

like, because I remember I was getting, okay, so

21:10

we were in Malaga and I mean, everyone

21:13

was staring at me because of my nahab, rabbi, whatever.

21:16

And like, I was quite taken back by the

21:18

reaction because it was, guys, I kid

21:20

you not, I'd exit the flat. And

21:22

because Malaga is so beautiful, it has

21:25

like a lot of courtyard seating and

21:27

eating outside. People can see you right away.

21:29

So as soon as I exit, people just

21:31

took out their cameras. Imagine bare people like

21:34

your Kim K. Like, like,

21:36

I'm not even exaggerating because Hoya can literally decide,

21:38

you thought when you're old enough. Kim

21:41

Kardashian has nothing on me. Me, Kimmy,

21:43

me, Kimmy, me and Kimmy, we're the

21:45

same, bro. We're the same. And I

21:48

was like, so shocked by the result.

21:50

Because I guys, I'm an hobby. I've

21:52

getting looks, I've experienced, you know, but

21:54

this was an unnormal level. It was

21:56

a poor people would stop in front

21:58

of me. People would. pictures, people

22:00

would take videos. I started to

22:03

wave. Remember Hoya? Started to wave at them. Hey, like

22:05

queen. I thought it was the queen of evil. Hey,

22:07

look at this Hoya. What can I do? Like

22:09

I just have to wave and like make

22:11

light of it. And I remember Hoya was like,

22:13

oh this is cute. And then Hoya would get

22:15

mad. Like if she's just waiting, I would look

22:17

at her. I see her as like a shark.

22:19

She's watching anybody that says anything to you. Okay.

22:21

Because she saw anything crazy. She was going to

22:23

say naps, you know. And like she would

22:26

always watch me. She hated when I walked behind her.

22:28

She's like, oh, she's like, walk faster. I was

22:30

like, everybody was like, I mean, I can see why

22:36

everybody get nervous because it was like, we don't

22:38

know what these reactions, what these looks mean. But

22:40

I will say like, and then Hoya, you said

22:43

this too, it's like the locals are just curious,

22:45

you know, it's, it was a tourist that had

22:47

a problem. If I'm keeping

22:49

her above, because, but I think what was

22:51

really pissed me off was I'm not going

22:53

to lie, the Americans, why were the Brits

22:55

upset that I was there? But why are

22:57

you here? Why are you here? The old

22:59

white women in Britain

23:01

were so mad. They were so mad. I

23:04

was there. They're the ones who travel

23:06

and assume that everyone speaks English. It's

23:08

embarrassing. I don't like saying them from

23:10

the UK when I leave. But

23:14

the locals, hey, or

23:16

weavy, or smiling, or

23:18

taking, like, this is the cutest

23:20

thing ever. And it just, I don't know,

23:23

I felt really comfortable there. And

23:25

we had a great time. And so me,

23:27

Hoya, I mean, I saw the spicy side

23:29

of her, I saw the defense, the one

23:31

that was like, I will fight toes. I

23:34

don't care. And nobody messes with my people.

23:37

I'll confront you for that. See, I will confront

23:39

you. It's

23:42

the elder sister in you. You're the

23:44

older one. You won't fight your own battles,

23:47

anyone touches your people that

23:49

you love, then it's on site. And

23:52

it's crazy because I'm an eldest daughter, so I wasn't,

23:54

I wasn't, I wasn't, I just I'd stop familiar for

23:56

me to see somebody defending me off the bat. You

23:58

know, I'm always ready to defend. myself but Khoya

24:00

suddenly like gave me like oh hell nah so

24:02

it was it was really a great experience and

24:04

one thing I really took away Khoya that one

24:06

thing I really like about you is that you

24:10

you proclaim your gratitude like

24:12

you'll always say alhamdulillah I'm happy to be here like I

24:14

hear you say all the time like you'll be just eating

24:16

alhamdulillah I'm here like even day four she's

24:18

still saying I'm so glad I'm here I'm like you

24:21

know I remember thinking I need to display the kind

24:23

of gratitude Khoya has all the time because it's like

24:25

she verbalizes it and it's like part of your gratitude

24:27

is like thanking others around you for making the experience

24:29

beautiful not just saying oh I'm here to be in

24:31

the middle of these mountains and somewhere in Spain I

24:33

don't want to go ahead and meeting you felt like

24:36

I knew you my whole life I thought it would

24:38

be yeah that's what it felt like I don't know

24:40

I thought it would be a bit awkward because I've

24:42

worked with you for what a year two years at that point

24:44

and I'm leading you only for the first time now but

24:47

I was like ready for that like oh hey

24:49

you know the awkward hey girl but

24:51

it wasn't that way I'm like it

24:54

literally felt like I saw you yesterday that's what it

24:57

was so it was really really fun and then

24:59

guess what seeing a hoei and Aisha together Aisha

25:01

who's our legal team they both

25:03

speak French they also I've been friends before

25:06

they came on TDS they seem like these

25:08

people are speaking French every five minutes and

25:10

I kept recording them I

25:16

said look at these French people and they look like they

25:18

were arguing all the time but they I'm sure they weren't

25:20

arguing wow you know what I was like what are they

25:22

saying but it was just to me it

25:27

made me smile because I'm like oh my god look

25:30

at how TDS is so multifaceted the team members speak

25:32

different languages you know they're from different places in the

25:34

world and it's just I just was smiling I was

25:36

like I could not even imagine a workplace

25:39

like this which is the

25:41

most ideal workplace in the world like who

25:43

gets to work with you from all over the

25:45

world the different backgrounds and languages they speak and

25:48

and do it for the sake of Allah Sallallahu

25:50

Alaihi Wasallam to do for Allah's sake and and

25:52

the thing that you know that connects us like

25:54

a beautiful threat is Allah you know is

25:56

our love for Allah Sallallahu Alaihi Wasallam I love to

25:58

spread his message and his his dean and

26:00

to meet people and invite them and to call them

26:03

and to be the best versions of ourselves. It's

26:05

just a beautiful thing. And then

26:07

so that was Rhea and then I obviously met Lemisa

26:09

for the first time in

26:12

the UK. The first time we went to the London event

26:15

when we did our first ever live show. And

26:18

then guess what? She stayed for so long. I

26:20

told her you can't go home. So I gave her my body, you stuffed

26:22

in my bed. I was like, there's no

26:25

way you're going home. There's no way. I said, you're

26:27

crazy. You're sleeping over. But that was the first time

26:29

she came. She met me so soon. Like she was

26:31

so many of us at once. And

26:34

for a long time we were we were working

26:36

online and Lemisa, I was thinking like, oh, like

26:39

she's she's like, you know, like obviously when you

26:41

work with you already get you already get this

26:43

like a knowledge about her. But Lemisa came in

26:45

there head held high. I'm surprised I

26:47

never peeped it before. Like you're not shy

26:49

in any way. You came in there smiling

26:51

at everyone. And I remember thinking I remember

26:54

telling so soon or saying looking at something.

26:56

I think we're overwhelming her because we were

26:58

all talking about each other. Because

27:02

you know, TBS, by the way, you guys,

27:04

all of us are always talking on top

27:06

of each other. 10 million conversations are happening.

27:08

And somehow we all understand each other. It's

27:10

the most bizarre workplace you've ever seen. And

27:12

I'm really thinking Lemisa just observing us thinking

27:14

what kind of sick crazy people is

27:17

this? But you know,

27:19

she fit right in. And then eventually she started to talk over.

27:21

And now and now she's

27:24

part of like, you know, that puzzle piece that

27:26

always that was always there. I've only met for

27:28

her to fill. So Lemisa and Hamdan I met

27:30

you again in our retreat in Morocco. So we

27:32

had a great time as well. Hamdan,

27:35

Hamdan. So it's so that's Lemisa. Oh,

27:37

so we met the new team members,

27:39

which were obviously Hannah, our lead producer,

27:41

and Meena, our production manager. So technically,

27:44

I actually met Hannah on stage.

27:47

Okay, which I this is why I love this

27:49

because I feel like me and Hannah have a

27:51

really cute meet queue. And it was a very

27:53

cute, romantic meet queue between like

27:56

a podcast voice and her like

27:59

essential show. You know and I

28:01

didn't know who you were gonna be to me

28:03

in a few months time But I remember like we

28:05

were imagine we're doing a live show in London, right?

28:07

The show that was sold out It was a really

28:09

really beautiful experience. It was just for them a bond

28:12

and We had

28:14

this segment at the end of the show

28:16

where we were doing Q&A with the team

28:18

and obviously the audience This is our first

28:21

time in UK was so nerve-wracking. I'm nervous

28:23

out of my mind I was sweating for places that you

28:25

know, I could see like there's a lot going on during

28:28

that time and How do I obviously

28:30

in the audience? How do you want to tell me what happened tell us

28:32

how it happened? And

28:59

so by then yeah, he was nine months old But

29:02

yeah, basically I took my can I

29:04

ask the question because I

29:06

had quite a traumatic birth and

29:10

I Had

29:12

made the whole time I was pregnant

29:16

It was during her mother on

29:18

as well every time I could make

29:21

that when it was raining every kind of

29:23

situation I was making

29:25

I was specifically making the arm

29:27

not to have a C-section The

29:32

bath after laboring for five

29:34

days ended with a C-section

29:48

Fine we've got the cat and up and

29:50

then they dropped the cat and show me that my baby Goodness

29:57

oh my goodness huddle off. Yeah, it

29:59

was like They had to use forceps

30:01

because he was so down. Obviously I was laboring

30:03

for five days. So they cut

30:05

him as well. So he was on antibiotics,

30:08

he had to stay. Anyway,

30:11

it was all very traumatic. And

30:13

so my question was, how do

30:15

you come to terms with feeling

30:17

like you've made so much of that up, but

30:20

not only was it rejected, but it

30:22

was just completely

30:25

the opposite of everything I asked for, right?

30:27

I could have said even the opposite. And so for

30:29

a long time, I was struggling with it. Like

30:32

even praying, it was like I was

30:34

just going through the emotions. There was no

30:37

real connection. I was just so angry.

30:39

I was angry a lot. And

30:42

so kind of like, I felt

30:44

like when I spoke, and everyone

30:46

started praying, I had to

30:49

be honest, I was like, I'm having difficulties

30:51

rebuilding my trust and relationship with

30:53

Allah. And

30:55

afterwards, so many women came up to me like,

30:59

telling me their own experiences, whether it was

31:01

with birth and pregnancy, or it was like

31:03

something unrelated, but everyone

31:06

cried. Yeah, oh

31:08

my goodness. I don't know. I

31:10

saw people putting their eyelashes back on. Like

31:13

people were like, I'm sorry, they had their eyelashes

31:15

flimming in the sky and people were trying to

31:17

glue back on. They're like, oh girl. And

31:20

I was just like, well, I'll kiss you now. Like people are

31:22

new to their eyelashes. And I was thinking, yeah. It

31:25

was a lot kind of like, for like a good

31:28

hour afterwards, I was just talking to people and people

31:30

were just sharing their own

31:32

stories. But then my

31:35

friend and also like a former colleague,

31:37

Sophia, we were about to get around the BBC, then

31:39

took the mic and she was like, oh, Hannah's

31:41

also a producer. She's a audio producer. And funnily

31:44

enough, like Sultan had already listened to one of

31:46

the podcasts that I did for the BBC. And

31:49

so, yeah, it just kind of went from there. Yeah.

31:51

And then she got to me and said, stop crying.

31:54

I have to. I'm so proud of her. No

31:56

one came into the Disney. Yeah. we

32:00

pulled her from the audience to the stage and

32:02

I was just facing like 400 people and and

32:07

we and that was the first time I met you I hugged you and

32:10

I remember uh like Sosyn

32:12

you know shared something it was beautiful

32:14

it was such a beautiful introduction and

32:17

meeting and I mean I remember

32:19

looking at you thinking wow what a beautiful person

32:21

who went through so much and

32:23

you know it's still because as much as you you

32:25

know you say that you're angry at the

32:27

time with at the time when I looked at it

32:29

I didn't see anger I just saw someone trying to find Allah

32:32

in the midst of despair and grief you know

32:34

that's what I saw I saw somebody being feeling

32:36

disappointed but still looking for Allah at the time

32:39

you know because you

32:41

know people can just give up but you didn't you were

32:43

there in a gathering where you know everyone is like you

32:45

know loves Allah and they're trying to find their journey and

32:47

they're trying to get close to God and and at the

32:49

time it's so crazy because you were in the Hajabi at

32:51

the time obviously now things have changed you so so

32:54

much and you've grown so much since

32:56

the last time I saw you um

32:59

but it to me I just saw a beautiful

33:01

person with with the story and now here you

33:03

are telling it and there were so many people

33:05

in the room thinking wow that's mean like I

33:07

understand that grief and pain that she's feeling um

33:11

deeply so and it's crazy look we were

33:13

hugging I remember we were like shoulder shoulder

33:15

like this and there's a picture there's

33:17

a picture of us just like you know

33:20

like um like holding on to each other as somebody's talking

33:22

if only if I knew then who you would

33:25

be later I would be like that's crazy you

33:27

know like and and that's why I always say like

33:29

you never know the people that you meet

33:32

that come into your life and what they're going to beam to you

33:34

or the things they're going to teach you and I could say that

33:36

I learned a great deal uh from

33:38

you and your life and the way

33:40

that you live in Mashallah and we've obviously become such

33:42

good friends since then it's

33:44

so crazy yeah so

33:48

Meheen and Hana obviously didn't know each other from

33:50

my knowledge but Meheen and the missing knew each

33:52

other see how small the UK is

33:54

it's a very very small place uh

33:57

Meheen diwa tells us about how we first met first

33:59

I Actually, the better question is though, what was your first

34:01

impression of meeting the tedious team?

34:03

Cause I know you met me, you met Sophie, you

34:06

met Aisha, you met Lemisa. Did

34:08

we meet Lemisa that summer? Yeah, we did. You met

34:10

Lemisa that summer. Lemisa

34:12

wasn't there, you know, cause I came to Airbnb,

34:15

I was expecting this to be there, but she

34:17

wasn't there, and Nura was there. Nura was there,

34:19

yes. And I remember,

34:21

I was like, I was

34:24

so pregnant. I was overdue at the time that I

34:26

came to meet you. I think I

34:28

was one day past my due date, so I had

34:30

missed the tour, I couldn't come to the event, and

34:32

I was in my house and I was like, guys,

34:34

I was saying to my husband, I was like, the

34:36

tedious team is here, they're in the UK, like I

34:38

need to meet them, I need to meet them, and

34:40

he was like, okay, fine, I'm gonna drive you down

34:42

to East London, which is by the way, like two

34:44

and a bit hours away from me. Oh wow. And

34:46

I like, I remember I made a cake, I

34:48

remember a cake, I made a cake with the CDS

34:51

on it, and I was like, I was so

34:53

happy, and I opened the door, everybody just hugged,

34:55

hugged, hugged. I remember Sausa pulling me into her

34:57

chair, and then Adder pulling me

34:59

into her chair, and then Aisha, Aisha, sorry,

35:01

Aisha will speak to you as if she's

35:04

known you her entire life, like

35:06

the loveliest. Nura, she was telling me,

35:09

she was like, oh, you like this, I was like, I like

35:11

your job, she was like, let me send you the link, la,

35:13

la, la, la, la. And it was like, it was just this

35:15

room full of people, Hannah, oh, you're pregnant, let me give you

35:17

every single bit, like, it was just this room

35:19

full of people that I felt like I'd known my entire life. I

35:21

remember I had to go to the bathroom, I

35:23

paid for my job because I was sweating, I

35:26

was sweating some joy, I probably don't know. Aww! That's

35:28

funny. I

35:31

think we were all playing, it was kind of hard in there. Yeah,

35:34

it was like a tiny little place, we were all

35:36

crammed in, and there was like 10 million people. Pizza

35:39

is oh my god, it's crazy. Um,

35:42

yeah, but the photo, but Lamesa I

35:44

knew before, Lamesa we had met at

35:47

a book club, like, I

35:49

don't know, Lamesa like six months before that, a year

35:52

before that, we just

35:54

ended up sat next to each other, and it was like one of those things where

35:56

you didn't know. anyone

36:00

and they were like asking ice-breaker questions, they were like I'll

36:02

turn to the person next to you like asking a few

36:04

questions and I was like oh where do you

36:06

work and she was like digital sisters. I

36:09

was like what? Tell me

36:12

more. And I

36:14

was going like oh can you help me like I would love

36:16

to work for them can you forward my CV and then Misa

36:18

was like yeah yeah yeah I can do that and then I

36:20

got pregnant. So me and Misa was

36:22

posting me up and then I got pregnant and my whole

36:24

world stopped. I didn't speak to anybody and my phone switched

36:26

off and it was finished.

36:28

When I got pregnant I disappeared. I

36:31

didn't know anybody. I mean first pregnancy

36:33

is quite hard and like daunting I

36:35

would imagine and you're just like

36:37

you just get sucked in that world very quickly and like

36:39

it feels like the world kind of stops. But

36:42

did you so it was like so the first person

36:44

you told when you when you were finally on board

36:47

it was Lamesa right? Did Lamesa know that you were

36:49

applying or like how did that or was that like

36:51

a surprise when she saw you on people like what? What?

36:54

She was like she was like I think I sent her

36:56

I think I sent her an email before I messaged her.

36:58

I think I sent her an email asking her for a

37:00

one-to-one and then I was like wait I know this girl

37:02

let me message her. Yeah. Aww. Meeting Yumi here honestly you

37:04

know what made me so proud? I

37:06

said I cannot believe maybe Lamesa Roy could also

37:09

jump in. I was like I am so excited

37:11

to have moms on the team. Like

37:13

that was a new level of

37:16

leveling up I have ever seen you know

37:18

TDS get to. It's one thing to

37:21

have women that work. It's another thing

37:23

to have pregnant women working and contributing

37:25

their work having children. I mean it

37:27

took us to like now we were

37:29

like we were calling you know Yasin

37:31

and Swainur the next TDS generation you

37:33

know TDS Z or

37:36

whatever letter letter they're going to be

37:38

their generation. I remember I

37:40

was like I

37:42

was like this is this is the test because you know

37:44

like in this corporate world guys if you're pregnant

37:46

you don't tell them you don't tell them and I was

37:49

thinking should I should I like what should

37:51

I do should I tell TDS and I got on the court

37:53

and I was like this is a real wussing

37:55

women they work they work because

37:57

you have to get me and I said guys

37:59

I'm a months pregnant like if you hire

38:01

me I'm gonna be gone no I'm gonna like

38:03

give yeah yeah and

38:06

when and I just remember either like screaming

38:08

and doing like oh tell me what's going

38:10

on and I was like yeah I

38:12

made the right team. Of course what the hell we're a

38:14

Muslim institution we do not care about what

38:16

that means like we see it as a form

38:19

of Barakah now not only are

38:21

we supporting you but the rizq that

38:23

comes I can't be somebody and Noor

38:25

is also contributing whatever goodness she's contributing

38:27

to TDS what the heck you

38:30

know always and

38:32

I feel like children are a source of

38:34

Barakah so it's not from a

38:36

mindset to think otherwise Hamdila

38:38

for being a part

38:40

of something that has those values but

38:43

yeah like having you giving labor you were literally

38:45

giving birth and you were talking about I'll be

38:47

back the next week we looked at you crazy

38:49

we said no take some time off yeah you

38:52

take the time off and then you'll come back

38:54

when you're ready inshallah so it was and it

38:56

was great I hope that we created that environment

38:58

for you to you know safely come back inshallah

39:00

when it was time but Hamdila all of it

39:02

is in Nirma from Allah Subhana Tala and a

39:04

blessing I mean he ultimately is control

39:06

of all the birthfares and so

39:08

Hamdila let me pause you

39:10

right here and tell you a story the

39:13

story about Sara a Muslim woman like

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42:00

no other understanding of how I was going to pay the

42:02

rest of that money but you know how my story turned

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learnt how to do it, I had

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42:11

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42:28

I want to actually know from all of

42:30

you guys because you know you guys are

42:32

a different you know it's a mix of

42:34

the old podcast team and the new podcast team but

42:37

I really want to know is from

42:39

hearing from the newbies first, that's Meheen

42:41

and Hannah I want

42:43

to know like why did you guys sign

42:45

up to be part of this project you guys knew it, I'm going

42:47

to be real and blunt you

42:49

knew we were a start up, we knew that

42:52

we were going through actually a huge transition which

42:54

made us even more precarious and

42:57

second of all also wanting to be a part of

42:59

a project that was so beloved to so

43:01

many people and now

43:04

here, I guess

43:06

the fate of the podcast kind of looks like oh

43:09

there is some, that's

43:11

a major matter, that's

43:13

a major matter but

43:17

now like the content shift was changing and

43:19

I'm going to be blunt with your hand,

43:21

okay? you

43:23

know I get very close to

43:26

my lead producer in particular

43:28

because I want to be able

43:30

to keep the vision alive from before so

43:32

I was nervous, I remember Sosa, she's like,

43:35

Adar, you know we have to get yourself

43:37

a new lead producer and I need, I don't know if I

43:39

can take it out of your bag, I don't know if I can

43:41

take it out of your bag, I don't know if I can take

43:43

it out of your bag I

43:45

can be attached and I need

43:47

to for me, and maybe this is a bit

43:50

strange for other people but for me I needed

43:52

to have a really strong bond and similar world

43:54

view with the lead producer and that was you

43:56

Hannah obviously and I wanted to be real with

43:58

you and tell you what I was comfortable with participating

44:00

in the kind of project I was trying to do, the kind

44:02

of community I was trying to build, all of that. So

44:05

I was really nervous because I'm like, how do you look at a CV and

44:07

say, yeah, you

44:10

know, she and I were good. And

44:13

also, even though I met you already on stage,

44:15

I still didn't know too much about you. But

44:19

yeah, I was nervous. I was

44:21

nervous. I'm just nervous, you know,

44:23

it is, yeah. I think having worked

44:26

in like three corporations, you can

44:28

kind of go under the radar

44:30

a bit. There's not as

44:32

much pressure because there's

44:34

things in place that you can fall back

44:36

on. There's a lot of like

44:38

red tape, there's a lot of like, you

44:41

know, other producers. And it's

44:43

a lot easier to kind of coast as well.

44:47

But I think I did want something. I wanted a

44:49

bit more of a challenge, firstly.

44:51

I was ready to leave Al Jazeera. Before

44:54

I even got your message about

44:56

joining, I was ready to give them a notice. I

44:59

was going to like try starting my

45:01

own production company and try going like

45:03

solo. But I

45:06

know that I've never really liked working

45:08

solo as well. That's like,

45:10

though I can do it and I can

45:12

get by, I've never liked it. I've always

45:14

kind of enjoyed bouncing ideas off of people.

45:17

So when you go

45:19

to me, though it was exciting, I

45:21

was like, oh, gosh, this is a

45:23

lot of pressure. There's so many people

45:25

who love it and who not just love

45:27

it, but need it as well. I think it's like

45:30

a support system, a

45:32

kind of a comfort for

45:34

a lot of people. And

45:36

especially when you're dealing with people's deans and their

45:38

slam and their akhara. I think it was just

45:40

something as well where I was itching to

45:43

improve myself and my dean too. I

45:46

wasn't, after having a child, was

45:48

trying to find yourself again. It was like the

45:50

one year after maternity, I went back into work.

45:53

I was like, I can't work the way I used to. I

45:56

can't be the person I used to be. And

45:58

at first it was like a big fight trying to improve myself. on

46:01

the sign because I think

46:03

a lot of the times when you see on social media it's like a thing

46:05

of women lose themselves when they

46:07

have a child and so I was like really

46:09

forcing and being like no I'm still

46:11

gonna be me but it just wasn't working and

46:14

so like I was like I need to go on my dean

46:16

and do this so it came at the perfect time I just

46:19

took it as a sign and was like okay there

46:21

we go let's do it and I think it was just

46:24

really nice working with you

46:26

and working with the rest of the team

46:28

and it was just like soon as I

46:30

jumped in it was like oh this is

46:32

my sister! This is so nice!

46:35

And everyone was saying no! I'm

46:37

glad, I'm glad. Super great,

46:39

super great, super great. You know, just

46:42

this honesty hour with all of you guys

46:44

you know the thing for me that was

46:46

most difficult was at the start of the

46:48

podcast it felt like at

46:51

the team at the start I felt like we were just figuring it out but

46:54

when you guys came it felt like I

46:56

had to spring into a leadership role and

46:58

that freaked me out a little bit because

47:00

that's not that wasn't how it was before

47:02

and so the responsibility of how

47:05

you felt, how Mihi felt, how Lemisa felt,

47:07

how Khoei felt and that work relationship like

47:09

all of a sudden felt like I needed

47:11

to I needed

47:13

to it was my responsibility. Were

47:16

they happy? Are they happy? Can

47:18

they, people can't produce good stories if they're not

47:21

happy. You know what I mean? Like

47:23

they can't they can't look for

47:25

Allah in people's stories if they're not looking for

47:27

Allah every day of their life.

47:29

You know what I'm saying? And like I'm like

47:32

this like this anxiety

47:34

bubble essentially and essentially taking a leap for

47:37

the first time in my life and I

47:39

think Khoei can speak because you were

47:41

there before and you instantly could

47:44

tell the switch the changes that we were

47:46

trying to make and I remember Khoei said

47:48

to me, this is a good thing and

47:50

I remember the first thing I asked her was

47:52

does this feel different because I know last time

47:54

you know if things weren't great but there was

47:56

also extremely stressful and here we are

47:59

attempting to have a... team who have their

48:01

role, like more, more, I want to say,

48:04

Texan balances, more like, um,

48:06

how do I explain it? More like, uh,

48:09

evened out a bit more in terms of even

48:12

responsibility, more evened out. So it didn't feel like

48:14

it was actually, it was, it's more fun in

48:16

my opinion. It's more fun now than it used

48:18

to be before meaning, or I feel like not

48:21

more fun, but like more enjoyable. I still remember

48:23

and I tell this story all the time, but

48:25

I thought at night, one time we stayed on

48:27

the Google meet for like 12 hours, like

48:30

from 3 PM, my time to 3 AM,

48:32

my time, because we did everything we do

48:34

now in like. Three weeks,

48:37

two weeks, we did in

48:39

the 12 hours. Yeah. I

48:41

think before we were survival mode, we

48:43

were just in complete survival mode. Good luck. Yo,

48:45

how do we just survive? Because imagine the audience

48:47

had also even, and I also want to speak

48:49

to this too, we'll get to Meheen, is that,

48:52

you know, it's no secret that

48:54

the episodes have decreased, even

48:56

the projects that we, we share work,

48:58

we're going to have this like thematic

49:00

of seven to eight to 10 episodes

49:02

in the future in clusters because for

49:05

our mental health, for the

49:07

sake of our mental health, as people

49:09

to be producing one episode

49:11

of Friday and making it as spectacular

49:14

as you've seen it, it's impossible. It's

49:16

impossible for us to do that, to be human

49:19

beings, to be people who, you know, who are

49:21

Muslims, who are daughters, mothers and all that stuff.

49:23

It just didn't make sense. And, but people had

49:25

already like gotten to know us with this, this

49:28

baseline of, oh, we're going to get a story every Friday,

49:30

20, 20 weeks straight. Which

49:33

at the end, we ended up being burnt out and

49:36

it ended up causing a lot of

49:39

difficulty and struggle and like, it just, it

49:41

was really hard. And I, and, and I felt

49:43

like I was letting everybody down because

49:45

I couldn't meet their needs at every, at every

49:47

second, everybody, you know what I mean? Like it

49:49

was just a very, you know, the six months

49:52

that we were on hiatus before we came back

49:54

for Lomtember that six months, part of it was

49:56

also like, for

49:58

me was looking at it and saying, Why do I

50:00

always feel inadequate all the time?

50:02

Why do I always, always inadequacy is

50:05

a looming thing. I'm not doing enough

50:07

episodes. I'm not doing what I

50:09

need to do enough. It's just this looming inadequacy

50:11

and only letting me into a pile

50:14

of like my despair in

50:16

that sense. But for me it was

50:18

like, for others it's like, oh, we

50:20

want more. But for me it's like, I'm giving you the best I

50:22

can give you and they're giving the

50:24

best I can give you. But I promise you the seven or eight

50:26

we give you the best stories that

50:28

I could pour into my heart without,

50:31

I guess, killing myself for it. You know what I'm saying?

50:33

Well, I can still be a fledgling being. So for, I

50:36

know a lot of listeners are like, but

50:38

things are different. And it is different. Things

50:41

are different, you guys. But

50:43

the stories that we tell is not different. The

50:46

sound we're putting in is not different. It's just,

50:49

more doesn't mean good all

50:52

the time. You know, what

50:54

we're focused on more now is

50:56

about quality, but also

50:58

the self-care of the people behind

51:00

the scenes. 100% of the, I'm not

51:02

a bad. I mean, we're

51:05

all human beings and this year was the

51:07

hardest year for me and the

51:09

best year at the same time, which was

51:12

so confusing and so conflicting for I'm sure

51:14

anybody who would experience that. But so

51:17

I had, it was, you know, I thank

51:19

God you were, who exactly who I thought

51:21

you were. I'm

51:23

so grateful beyond understanding like, just the type of

51:25

person you are in receiving, the bubbliness, the

51:27

fact that I can go to you and say,

51:30

I'm struggling with this or I'm dealing with this

51:32

or I'm not comfortable with the fact that you

51:34

would receive it and listen to me without

51:36

judging me, you know, is what I needed in

51:38

order to be the kind of storyteller I wanted

51:41

to be, you know what I'm saying? And

51:43

with you, I'm just a storyteller, you know what

51:45

I'm saying? And I needed that. I

51:47

didn't need, oh, this person is like, you know,

51:49

I just needed someone to say, I see what

51:51

you're trying to do. And I

51:54

see how using your gifts for good, let

51:56

me support you in it. It's because, and

51:59

they don't listen to us, don't know. But you pour it you

52:01

guys pour all of yourselves in it to handle

52:03

law your your love for a lot I can

52:05

hear it in the way that maybe the misa

52:07

writes an intro or in a narration. I could

52:09

genuinely pursue of that Knowledge

52:11

in Allah you can hear it How

52:14

way is like, you know ability to

52:16

read and recognize the story that will

52:18

touch people's hearts It's cuz because she's

52:20

often touched, you know And

52:23

so she know what that feeling feels like So

52:31

I can go to me for goodness sake is that

52:34

It's because of you guys as people as Muslim

52:36

We're on this planet doing the best that you

52:39

can and then giving a little part of yourselves

52:41

to the world to support others in It and

52:43

it's the most selfless thing. I'm so

52:45

lucky to witness Even

52:47

the times there we are stressed. It's power.

52:49

We have two mothers on the team We've never had mothers

52:52

on the team, you know say and

52:54

when you work with mothers, it's a

52:56

different level of even peel You

53:01

know these women are they also don't

53:03

have time Well, they really don't we have to

53:05

be as diligent as possible, but also they're givers

53:07

of life. They've given life They've they're participating in

53:09

populating this world and they also care about the

53:11

world They're gonna live in on a

53:14

deeper sense So for them like when they

53:16

want to make the world better they have

53:18

to I want to Hawaii wants

53:20

to let me So I had

53:23

a mihim have to they have

53:25

babies that are living and breathing

53:27

and they cannot fathom a world

53:29

That has no a lot in it That

53:31

has no good in it I can't fathom it and so

53:33

you've taught me and you guys have taught me so much

53:36

about what it means to be good first you

53:38

know and And

53:47

that is like I know I said of some love

53:49

story proclamation of love for you guys But I really

53:51

wanted to say on the microphone because it is so

53:54

true. It's so true I really

53:56

mean it. Yeah, everybody's crying on the microphone.

53:58

Hello. Okay, listen I

54:02

wanted to mention something when you were saying how

54:04

you felt inadequate and I noticed it

54:09

the other day when we were recording

54:11

and I realized that you've

54:13

grown so much since I've met you and

54:15

you were already working a year prior to

54:17

when I met you, right? And you know

54:19

how I noticed it, Alaa, was because I

54:21

remember we started interviewing and then you ask

54:23

questions and then at some point you'd be

54:26

like, wait, wait, let me redo this. Let

54:28

me do this again. I don't like the

54:30

way this sounds, right? While

54:32

we were interviewing and

54:35

we've done like what, three interviews this

54:37

past week or so, 10 days and it

54:40

never happened because you're just getting more and

54:42

more comfortable. And I've just seen you

54:44

grow and I've seen you more comfortable

54:46

and I love it so much. So

54:48

good, Mashallah. Alaa, we're

54:50

ready. Because the time is

54:53

like where we write the questions beforehand and

54:55

I'm like, we send it, we just hear it

54:57

without having to look at the questions. And

55:00

then you hit every single point. But

55:02

again, it's still fun. It's

55:05

amazing. Amazing. I

55:07

love the need of the mission. I

55:09

feel like it makes me so much closer

55:11

to all of you, like just seeing how

55:13

we went from this to this. Obviously

55:16

you guys can't see it. I forget that we're in

55:19

next from the back to the

55:21

eye. But yeah, that's what I

55:23

meant. Yeah,

55:26

it means so much to me

55:29

to hear you guys say bye because I genuinely

55:31

feel like a mess. I always do. And

55:35

I'm giving myself a lot of grace to say,

55:37

hey, show up messy. They're not going to judge

55:39

you. You're doing the

55:41

best that you can because

55:44

you guys, I really don't know

55:46

a lot. And I'm trying to know

55:48

and I'm trying to be better. Who does?

55:50

I was going to say, yeah, who

55:53

does? And two, there's like knowing and

55:55

skills that you need to learn. And

55:57

then there's being born and being endowed

55:59

with skills. skills that Oliver Tyler gave

56:01

you himself. And now they're

56:03

like genuinely feel inquisitiveness.

56:06

The ease that you ask questions, the

56:08

ease at which you make friends and

56:11

that you make people feel comfortable. Those are things

56:13

that you can you can't teach those things. Do

56:15

you get what I mean? Those are

56:17

just things that you just say I'm delightful. And

56:19

you use those skills to

56:21

do what needs to be done in this world.

56:24

Meen was the first person I met before I met.

56:26

I met Hannah on stage, but Meen I did the

56:28

phone call with first and you know

56:30

Meen was different guys. I don't mean to you

56:33

know, like she was really different because she was

56:35

very like analytical. She

56:38

was very detail oriented.

56:40

She was very quick and she was very organized. And

56:42

I remember when I looked at her I was like,

56:44

oh, what a fresh breath. I'm chaotic artist like I'm

56:46

a chaotic artist. My moves the mess, everything the mess.

56:49

And just talking to Meen even two seconds,

56:51

you feel organized. You feel put together. You

56:53

do a bit more like you

56:56

look like orange juice. You're like you can do

56:58

this. Yeah, I remember thinking and

57:00

I remember talking to Sosa about it because Sosa

57:02

was doing was working on the hiring

57:04

and Nora was hiring. And I remember saying I

57:06

said, I need a Meen on this team. Like

57:09

it's without we had seen already a few people

57:11

I said, I'm done. I met Meen. That's enough

57:13

for me, you know. And it was

57:15

I just understood like I said,

57:17

you you make me feel

57:19

like I don't got this boat alone. Does that make

57:21

sense? Like I'm not like if I decide to leave

57:24

the ship a little bit, I know Meen can

57:26

take the ship. It's like how you feel about an elder daughter.

57:29

You know, like I'm not to parentify you. I'm

57:31

so sorry, Meen. My elder

57:33

daughter, you really are on tedious and

57:36

elder daughter. I don't want to parentify you,

57:38

but you give me a such a sense

57:40

of comfort. You know, I

57:42

don't know. You know

57:44

what? I don't mind being if I if I'm

57:46

tedious is I would do so.

57:48

I don't mind if that's how I go down. I'm OK

57:50

with that. I'm

57:53

so OK with that. I

57:55

just remember I remember talking to you either. And I remember like I

57:58

like maybe five or 10 minutes. call

58:00

you in do you have a

58:02

type B personality will it be yeah it's

58:04

a good thing what she's saying

58:06

I think I think it's type A type A right type A type A

58:10

personality and you were like and you stopped talking

58:12

to me like person she's like you so soon

58:14

we need a type A we

58:19

need a serving he

58:21

gathers us all she

58:24

gathers us all god

58:26

what about this before

58:31

me you know that was

58:33

that was the most stressful thing at the beginning because

58:35

I remember so since I'm young said people

58:38

aren't gonna like you at first

58:40

maybe and I was like huh

58:42

I'm joining my dream team my

58:44

my sisters my girlies and

58:46

you're telling me they're not gonna like

58:48

you me and

58:51

she was like you have to you know so so

58:53

some very to the point she was like that's what

58:55

you have to do that's what you're here to do

58:57

I was like oh okay okay okay like peace of

58:59

mind like let's try and do this and then like

59:01

yeah I think the first calls I could tell when

59:03

I was talking to Hoya when I was talking to

59:05

you it was a bit like oh like it's

59:08

a bit much it's a bit serious but yeah

59:10

the panel guys I have I have I have

59:12

a creative I have it easy going side I

59:15

have anything inside you're way better better than all

59:17

of us in the sense that you can get

59:19

us together but you did it with so much

59:21

love you did with so much you know

59:23

you know what's great you know what I'm

59:25

saying you let it be us you never told us okay together

59:27

and then she had to leave she writes

59:33

cuz she was giving birth you guys remember how

59:36

lost we were without me after

59:38

only a month

59:42

sorry you know what meeting the production

59:44

me I wish I said me I

59:46

hate it here I hate it

59:50

I'm gonna come back because I was so

59:52

worried of putting too much on you mean

59:54

I was so scared about that that new ball

59:56

of it

59:58

that killed me I was in the trenches,

1:00:01

you know, I said, bro, if I never have to know,

1:00:03

cool. I was

1:00:05

getting beat daily. I was like, I can't do that

1:00:08

there. I can't do that. But when

1:00:10

she asked for something, I'm going to come. I was like,

1:00:12

please. So happy. I mean,

1:00:14

so happy. You

1:00:16

guys know why that is, is

1:00:18

because like. You

1:00:20

guys like you're my inspiration, you

1:00:23

know, and working with your inspiration.

1:00:26

How can you give that up? I remember

1:00:28

before we started recording this, guys, I was

1:00:30

asking us to think about like, like high

1:00:32

level, like why did we want to join

1:00:34

TDS? For me, I wanted to

1:00:36

join. When I found out I was pregnant, I

1:00:38

said, I can't just be doing

1:00:40

an any man job anymore. I need my

1:00:43

daughter to be proud of me. I need her

1:00:45

to do something that she says my momma did

1:00:47

this. And I want you guys to know that

1:00:49

that's the kind of thing that people are thinking

1:00:51

when they listen to the podcast, like that's how

1:00:53

much strength and inspiration

1:00:55

you give them that we actually want

1:00:57

to raise our daughters on this. Like

1:01:00

that's who you are. You're those women

1:01:03

like. And you're a part of

1:01:05

that. Thank you for that. Oh

1:01:07

my God. You know, my biggest fear was that I

1:01:09

don't mean, honestly, I remember when you said that, because

1:01:12

you said that I'm doing this because I need to

1:01:14

say something about my life to my daughter that matters.

1:01:16

And I said, you got the job. What

1:01:20

a hundred percent. Are you

1:01:22

crazy? You got, you got

1:01:24

a bigger cause than TDS baby. You got

1:01:26

a bigger cause. It's not even about like,

1:01:29

you got a bigger cause for you. It's like my

1:01:32

kid needs to know how they need to move

1:01:34

after a lot of companies don't

1:01:36

have pregnant women. And I just want to say that

1:01:38

with so much them that TDS

1:01:41

is not that kind of company. You could

1:01:43

come us on the bridge of I'm going to

1:01:45

the hospital tomorrow night. And

1:01:47

we believe in you. You're high baby. That's

1:01:49

pretty much where I was. That is pretty much where

1:01:52

I was. And you guys did not care to that.

1:01:54

Well, and like that's and

1:01:56

I feel like that is I don't know if this

1:01:58

is consciously something you guys have been thinking. thinking about,

1:02:00

but I feel like that has

1:02:02

seeped into last season and

1:02:04

this season that we're preparing right now. That

1:02:07

knowledge that it's not just

1:02:09

about our generation, it's

1:02:12

about what comes after.

1:02:14

TDS is leaving a legacy

1:02:16

and TDS is something that

1:02:18

people can learn from. You

1:02:21

have a duty, you have an obligation, I feel like

1:02:23

maybe that's the way you look at it. When you

1:02:25

look at your work in that way, it changes

1:02:28

things. And

1:02:33

it adds its own pressure, but it's the thing

1:02:35

that gives me meaning. Like, I

1:02:38

like it's the reason why I'll drink an energy drink

1:02:40

like I'm doing right now at eight in the morning.

1:02:44

Who does this? And he literally told me, are you crazy? I

1:02:49

know, but I need to survive today. Like,

1:02:51

I need to survive today because I understand what

1:02:53

it's going to take from us. But I will

1:02:56

say, you know, like I believe there are lots

1:02:58

of times I teach you something here is that

1:03:00

it's important that when women participate in things like

1:03:02

who they are, what they have, how much you

1:03:04

think it's irrelevant. You know what I'm saying? And

1:03:06

all of these things just make them better. It

1:03:08

just makes them a better storyteller. It just makes

1:03:11

them a better person. It just makes them

1:03:13

more heartily. Like, I know, like, I'm

1:03:15

looking at you guys and I'm just at awe all the

1:03:17

time. And it's just I'm like,

1:03:19

I'm so proud because when I look at your babies, I'm

1:03:21

like, yes, the next TDS generation. You know, like

1:03:23

I think about they're going to be the next. They're

1:03:29

going to talk about this and you know, even

1:03:31

too, it's an also archive, right? So,

1:03:34

I mean, somebody is going to hear the stories of

1:03:36

you, you manning that produce. And right now, so, by

1:03:38

the way, I really want to mention me and you're

1:03:40

not just a project manager, but you're actually producing. Yeah,

1:03:43

you know, you're you're starting to write on

1:03:45

them. You know, you're starting to basically you're

1:03:47

becoming a director. Like, it's like it's like

1:03:49

a cast in a movie

1:03:51

saying I want to I want to direct the

1:03:54

next episode that I'm in. You know what I'm

1:03:56

saying? And so you're doing that. And it's like,

1:03:58

Lomisa is doing that too, because Lomisa was. a

1:04:00

writer now she's gonna start cutting tape and

1:04:02

I'm just dying of laughter because we're all cutting

1:04:04

tape We're all writers. We're all producers. We're all

1:04:06

just you know adding I guess who we are

1:04:09

and what we believe in into the stories that

1:04:11

are coming today But my question to you guys

1:04:13

is okay, so I asked me he this question

1:04:15

again, but the older team What was it like

1:04:17

having new people in was it hard was it

1:04:19

easy? Did you like them at first? In

1:04:24

the same place that we all like each other, but what was the

1:04:26

real I

1:04:31

Would say I feel like I'm

1:04:33

also new to the podcast team by the

1:04:35

way I wasn't never in the podcast team

1:04:37

before August I was always

1:04:39

in person doing marketing and sales stuff,

1:04:42

so I never knew what it was like to be Working

1:04:44

in a team. It was always

1:04:46

me and so said every single day probably for

1:04:48

a year me and so said every day We'd

1:04:51

go on our call. We talk about Marketing

1:04:53

and we were like friends, but

1:04:56

it was just yeah, you know so it

1:04:58

was not the same as how it is

1:05:01

now and we're like the group and it's

1:05:03

really different but How

1:05:05

about I was nervous? I was nervous

1:05:07

and I met Hannah in Lake District and then

1:05:09

I was like okay actually this is

1:05:12

chill But

1:05:18

yeah, I love it because I Don't

1:05:21

know. I look it's like You're

1:05:23

gonna cook cool with your friends and you just

1:05:25

saying and you just do some work as well

1:05:27

on the side Yeah It's

1:05:30

different from how to tedious is

1:05:32

so different from when I first

1:05:34

died I think completely different things

1:05:36

now 100% when we first died I

1:05:40

would say it was like like you said we

1:05:42

were like a Baby

1:05:44

like and no one's dropping.

1:05:46

Yeah, and everyone was doing everything

1:05:49

Like no one had a particular law nothing

1:05:51

is a bad thing, but everyone did different

1:05:55

things right and Even

1:05:57

if we didn't know how to do it, we would do whether

1:05:59

we doing just for the sake of

1:06:01

doing. But

1:06:04

I think now everyone's got their

1:06:06

like orte, their passion, what they

1:06:08

want to do, they're all involved

1:06:10

in those things and

1:06:13

everyone has an expertise in the things

1:06:15

they're doing so it

1:06:17

makes us that much better. But

1:06:20

you know what can I add something there to what

1:06:22

Amita said? Yeah I feel

1:06:24

like that's the thing about everyone having their

1:06:26

own passion and stuff like that. That is

1:06:29

true but another thing like from the beginning

1:06:32

with Ade and to like maybe last

1:06:34

week Ade said to me again like

1:06:36

I feel

1:06:38

like you're so much in jobs

1:06:40

in this world that we live in now you have

1:06:42

to settle and at TDS you don't

1:06:45

have to settle. It's not like oh you're stuck

1:06:47

in this role and you need to do that.

1:06:50

You are constantly wanting to elevate and

1:06:52

do more and contribute more because you're

1:06:54

surrounded by inspiring people who tell you

1:06:56

that you can and who

1:06:59

nurture that in you. Like can I say to people

1:07:02

who didn't know this to me you might want to

1:07:04

cut if you don't want these details about you. Namisa's

1:07:06

only 20. I

1:07:09

didn't know that. You are a baby

1:07:11

girl. Accomplished from like the first two

1:07:14

weeks I was calling Namisa and asking

1:07:16

her for advice and like

1:07:18

as a kind of parental kind of person

1:07:20

I don't ask younger people for advice I don't do

1:07:22

that and I wouldn't have done it if Anisha's younger than me. She's

1:07:27

just wise. She's wise in her

1:07:29

years and TDS allowed her to

1:07:31

flourish. It allows all of us

1:07:33

to flourish. Yeah I agree. I

1:07:35

was 18 when I first joined

1:07:37

and Sosa never treated me like I didn't know

1:07:39

anything you know what I mean but which is

1:07:41

she would just say stuff. I had no idea

1:07:43

what she was talking about most of the time.

1:07:45

She just said stuff and that's how I learned.

1:07:48

Now I can understand what she's before

1:07:50

I had no idea what she said. I

1:07:52

mean if you believe in people's abilities don't

1:07:54

talk to them like they can't talk to

1:07:56

them like they can. You know what I'm saying. But

1:07:58

you know what yeah. That's

1:08:01

a very like big TDS thing as well

1:08:03

because when I first came as well so

1:08:05

Aisha and I came into

1:08:07

TDS team to do the

1:08:10

French TDS right and then we realized

1:08:12

I didn't have any background in production

1:08:14

and so I joined the team just to learn

1:08:16

a little bit in order for me to take

1:08:18

on TDS French and then it

1:08:20

just ended up like we postponed that and

1:08:22

I just ended up in the podcast team

1:08:24

for the last two years. Number one fun

1:08:26

fact is Lemisa and I worked at the

1:08:28

same time but I only met her in August

1:08:31

as well. Yeah, we never heard of her when she joined

1:08:33

the podcast team. When she joined TDS as well. I just

1:08:36

heard about her. So technically

1:08:38

I met, yeah me too.

1:08:40

I only heard about Lemisa or like when

1:08:43

we would do like the big town

1:08:46

hall meetings you know once a month I would see her

1:08:48

there but that's about it you know and

1:08:50

so I met all the new podcast team

1:08:53

in August as well and not gonna lie

1:08:55

I was very very stressed okay I didn't

1:08:57

know what to expect I knew it was

1:08:59

it wasn't gonna be like before and we

1:09:01

had to like stick to a schedule which

1:09:04

was very different from what we used to

1:09:06

do and then Maheen went in the one-on-one

1:09:08

and I was like what am I

1:09:10

gonna tell to this project manager I

1:09:12

have a project manager now but then

1:09:15

it just

1:09:19

it just it just flowed honestly just

1:09:21

it went so it was so easy

1:09:23

it was so amazing come

1:09:26

to that I couldn't yeah

1:09:28

I wouldn't be I don't think I'd be able

1:09:30

to do this with anyone else or at least

1:09:32

I wouldn't enjoy it as much as I do

1:09:34

and you know the crazy is the crazy part

1:09:37

is everybody's sticking out Korean hearts right now with

1:09:39

their fingers but I will say because you know

1:09:41

they can't see you guys but

1:09:43

what I can't say is that you

1:09:45

know this is the beginning of the podcast team

1:09:48

you know you like there's so many people that are gonna

1:09:50

come you know I always say this I've had a lot

1:09:53

I've been to the D-Day I said there are people I

1:09:55

love it just the it's just a few that we don't

1:09:57

even know that's coming just like I didn't know whom he

1:09:59

was coming It's like I didn't know how to come in.

1:10:01

It's like I didn't know who's coming but they came right

1:10:03

and I see it as an invitation Allah said

1:10:05

I invited them you know and they need to

1:10:07

do what they need to do because they got

1:10:09

they they got they decree and they got they

1:10:11

pass and Allah has clearly something for them to

1:10:13

fulfill that duty and so I get so excited

1:10:15

when I see how amazing this team is already

1:10:17

I'm like, oh my god, it's always gonna get

1:10:19

bigger. There's somebody who's listening to right now. There's

1:10:21

no idea I'm just a fan and next year

1:10:23

they're gonna be something of

1:10:26

a big importance to this

1:10:28

team You don't know and subhanAllah like I

1:10:31

like you know mean like you said and had a side and we said

1:10:33

you guys are all listeners first Listeners

1:10:37

and then you guys said what

1:10:39

let me offer my skills to

1:10:41

this institution to this platform to this

1:10:44

movement that I think is so

1:10:46

important and you guys came and

1:10:48

you did it with all 10 toes down with

1:10:50

everything in it, but you know It's

1:10:53

crazy from this side of the world because Sometimes

1:10:56

it's overwhelming you think like why

1:10:59

did all this kind of kind of put me in this

1:11:01

position? because it's a thing with

1:11:03

this so much I'm not a big pressure

1:11:05

because I was really worried about the community Not

1:11:08

just for the people within the team but for the people listening and I'm just a before

1:11:10

we take a picture and face it and I'm really angry I'm

1:11:14

really angry and

1:11:16

then just feeling This is

1:11:19

a privilege to be in this position and

1:11:23

so much like not just for Current

1:11:26

lives but in shawl in the afternoon. Look

1:11:28

at the messages that we received of people

1:11:30

making that continuously

1:11:36

To go so I actually wanted to know

1:11:38

okay I will say I think the thing

1:11:40

about TDS that makes it so special is you guys get

1:11:42

a direct Continuously you guys

1:11:44

get like Continuously direct

1:11:46

responses of the work they do and I I

1:11:48

don't know if you guys do know Before

1:11:52

but you guys are literally getting direct

1:11:54

you see the response and how is

1:11:56

that like how's that been? the

1:12:00

best thing in the world. I

1:12:02

get scared, aren't I? Yeah, because

1:12:04

it's just... I just... I

1:12:08

feel like it's like... You

1:12:12

know, sometimes I'm so scared about like, what

1:12:14

are we actually all doing on this earth? Like, a

1:12:17

lot has put us here and we're just

1:12:19

like, I don't know... An existential crisis. Yeah,

1:12:22

I'll be watching an episode of Bridgerton, having a good

1:12:25

time yet, and then I'll be like, oh, then I'll

1:12:27

have to be on this earth which I've sort of

1:12:29

been to like, not doing like, what are we doing?

1:12:32

But when I see those messages, I'm like, thank

1:12:37

goodness, I humbly love the work that we are

1:12:39

doing at least. We are doing good on this

1:12:41

earth, we are making use of our time. And

1:12:43

it means something. I don't know, that's

1:12:45

for me. Why does it scare you, Hannah? Because it's just,

1:12:47

again, I'd like to go back to the

1:12:50

responsibility. Being a youth,

1:12:52

you need to do the best. If

1:12:54

you need to eat the diversity that you're going through,

1:12:57

I think some people don't necessarily need a certain

1:12:59

need, but you're already working for diversity. So

1:13:03

they're looking at the hair with the hair, but

1:13:05

they're not saying the hair is safe. And

1:13:07

sometimes they think they're very, like, you

1:13:10

hope that they like it, you hope that they receive

1:13:12

any word they need. They

1:13:14

need to be really, really became pickers. We

1:13:16

will see in a situation, they're going to

1:13:19

have a conversation, so they're going to take

1:13:21

care of it. But you can correct it in the

1:13:23

moment. I think it's really good to say that there's

1:13:26

so many different roles that are going to rise.

1:13:30

Because in the same British society, there's

1:13:32

so many different beliefs in

1:13:35

the same way that the people

1:13:51

are going to have to do more for themselves and to dab

1:13:53

a finger there, guys. I'm not going to lie, before I had

1:13:55

yesterday, I was so calm with

1:13:57

dieting. I know, I felt terrible

1:13:59

a bit. I was so pumped.

1:14:01

I was like, okay if I die, what am I

1:14:03

gonna do about it? Do you know what I mean?

1:14:06

I'm like, I'm just... But exactly

1:14:08

not! I was vibes! Purely

1:14:11

vibes! Right now it's like, I don't

1:14:13

wanna die. I've got... there's

1:14:15

someone here that I

1:14:18

want to teach and each other like... If

1:14:20

I marry you, you're just a little

1:14:23

bit silly. If you push it with you,

1:14:25

you're gonna get it. Push it with you, you're gonna

1:14:27

get it. When you're in it and

1:14:29

you're producing the pieces and you're editing, I

1:14:32

feel like the pressure's not really there as much. It's

1:14:35

when we start uploading to megaphones, that's

1:14:37

when the pressure goes... Because you know when

1:14:39

we're having conversations and you guys

1:14:41

might be feeling a bit anxious? In

1:14:43

the moment, I'm like, guys chill. Chill,

1:14:46

everyone chill. Let's just get on with the work and do

1:14:48

what we can. It's after. When

1:14:50

you do it and you're by yourself at night

1:14:52

or you're in the show and you're just in there, you're

1:14:54

like... It's pressure.

1:14:56

I feel the feeling this. I

1:14:58

think that's very exciting. Please

1:15:01

guys, just get on with that. Isn't

1:15:05

that one of the signs of the best believers?

1:15:07

If you're fearful of the acts that you're doing.

1:15:09

If you're praying and you're always thinking that I

1:15:11

wasn't praying and being accepted, and you do being

1:15:14

accepted is my good deed, being accepted. That's a

1:15:16

sign of someone who's very close to all that.

1:15:18

That's scary as well because I'm like, what did

1:15:20

I do? Who am I? Why did

1:15:22

I go all like me? My

1:15:24

biggest issue is like, am I

1:15:26

entitled to even being? Who

1:15:29

am I? Why do I get to participate in this? Am

1:15:31

I good enough to be participating in

1:15:34

something so big? I

1:15:36

think it just goes with everything else. Sometimes you

1:15:39

have imposter syndrome and you're like, but this is

1:15:41

not good and this is not like I can

1:15:43

do better. There's probably someone else that can do

1:15:45

better than me, et cetera. Because

1:15:48

it's about the deed and you're sharing other

1:15:50

people's stories and they're very inspiring and you're

1:15:52

like, am I good enough to be able

1:15:54

to share these things? I

1:15:57

also know that it's not the way you're supposed to think because at the

1:15:59

end of the day, We're all trying our best and

1:16:01

we're all working and nobody here is claiming to be

1:16:03

perfect in any way shape or form But

1:16:06

you know, there's always that thing in the back of your head and

1:16:09

just to go back to the whole megaphone thing My

1:16:11

biggest issue is when it's Friday

1:16:13

and I'm waiting for the And

1:16:15

I'm like, oh my god. Oh my

1:16:17

god, and I'm just refreshing the comments

1:16:22

And you know anything is I've

1:16:24

done this for a bit I remember we've done

1:16:26

mistakes in season one where we had to correct

1:16:28

it You know, like I know what it feels

1:16:30

like to to to to not catch a mistake

1:16:33

You know and then and then be told hey you

1:16:35

missed something here But a friend gave me an advice

1:16:37

that was really really like I stick to I still

1:16:39

stick to today She said you're going to make a

1:16:41

mistake. Oh, you're gonna make a human being you're

1:16:44

gonna make a mistake. Are you a law? It's

1:16:46

impossible You know But what Allah wants from

1:16:48

you is to be humble enough to correct them and

1:16:50

to say in front of everyone That I

1:16:52

made a mistake. That's what Allah wants They

1:16:55

will tell you this is impacting my iman and

1:16:58

it's like obviously it's not us that's impacting their

1:17:00

iman It's almost sometimes impacting their iman, right? But

1:17:02

when you're a custodian when you're A

1:17:05

means right you also want to feel good

1:17:07

enough To be chosen by Allah

1:17:09

to deliver whatever it is that he wants

1:17:11

to deliver to his slave And so I

1:17:13

remember I went down that dark dark tunnel

1:17:16

of but i'm a sinner you

1:17:19

know, i'm Like

1:17:22

i'm a sinner like how can I be you know

1:17:24

be a part of this how could I do this and it's like And

1:17:27

I again my other friend was like,

1:17:29

excuse me You're a sinner always and forever to

1:17:31

the the cradle to the grave, you

1:17:34

know But what you need to do

1:17:36

is repent like you need to be a Usually

1:17:39

repent often like that's who you need to be So

1:17:41

how all of us as muslims are supposed to be

1:17:43

does that mean that we start participating in hait? Does

1:17:45

that mean does that also mean that you don't tell

1:17:47

the truth when you know falsehood or lies are being

1:17:49

spread Even if you know one piece

1:17:51

of knowledge It's a wag of that you share

1:17:53

it Even if you feel like you're just not

1:17:55

the right person to do it You know, we

1:17:58

never told anybody that we're teachers. We're Where

1:18:00

are students? Where are students? And

1:18:02

the guests that come onto these pockets are

1:18:04

students themselves, students of life. You

1:18:06

know what I'm saying? Students of trying to get close

1:18:09

to Allah, trying to say to Allah, just slaves who

1:18:11

are saying, this is what I've learned on the road.

1:18:13

Now out of curiosity, I'm just curious, what

1:18:16

are some stories and narratives that you want to

1:18:19

tell in 2024 and beyond? Like

1:18:22

what's something on your bucket list? Do

1:18:24

you know what? I think this upcoming

1:18:26

season, though

1:18:29

it's been very hard to work on, not

1:18:32

because, not for like

1:18:35

the technical difficulties, more for like the

1:18:37

content itself, the

1:18:40

amount of like emotion, the structure that you need

1:18:42

just to work on it when you're hearing like

1:18:45

such hard-hitting stories. I'm

1:18:50

eager to share that with people in that

1:18:54

it's just because it's just such a difficult time for them.

1:18:58

Right. And it feels like left, right and

1:19:00

center. People just

1:19:02

coming for us, you know, whether it's in

1:19:04

the West or if not literally on the battlefield.

1:19:09

It's just a constant, constant

1:19:12

bombardment. But I

1:19:15

think I saw one of your tweets out of it in

1:19:18

that, oh, you think like

1:19:20

they're almost trying to come together now. Wait

1:19:22

till the best of months. And

1:19:24

that really gave me hope. Doing

1:19:28

these stories, I've been making the right way.

1:19:32

Making the right for the people that we're

1:19:34

talking about, but also against the

1:19:36

oppressor. And the oppressor.

1:19:38

I only said that I said, I can't

1:19:40

wait. I

1:19:45

can't wait to. You

1:19:47

know what you know, I think you know, you

1:19:49

know, it gave me chills. You know, the the

1:19:51

best, the reason why I like Ramadan is extra,

1:19:53

like so impactful is that even

1:19:56

the weakest of us and face outperform.

1:19:58

Yeah. But that's

1:20:00

what I think. I imagine the one who

1:20:02

is like, he's like right now isn't praying, oh

1:20:04

it's five, right? He's not praying, oh it's five.

1:20:06

But he's making dua'i stuff like that. But imagine

1:20:08

the weakest of us in the best of Ramadan

1:20:10

and the best of us in Ramadan. You should

1:20:12

tell, and we're seeing each other every night in

1:20:15

Tahajit when we know how safe

1:20:17

we feel but we know

1:20:19

it's not safe everywhere else. And we're standing in Salah

1:20:21

and we're doing dua'a al-Qunut. Are

1:20:23

you crazy? This Ramadan is gonna

1:20:26

be the scariest for our prisoners.

1:20:30

Our prisoners, if you're listening, watch out bro. You

1:20:32

about to get the scariest. Scariest.

1:20:34

Dua'as are gonna be flinging

1:20:37

everywhere. The devil's locked up. The

1:20:39

best of us is outside. The worst of us is

1:20:41

outperforming. We're making dua'a,

1:20:43

we're standing in prayer, we're shoulder to shoulder,

1:20:45

we're praying at night. Baby, it's D-Day for

1:20:47

that prisoners. It's D-Day. Bullet,

1:20:52

it's not for everybody fam. It's up, it's up. It's

1:20:54

one of those things, it's up. It's up. It's

1:20:57

up, it's up. It's one of those things, it's

1:20:59

up for everyone. Hold on. It's like, isn't

1:21:01

there like a TikTok sound that says, my

1:21:04

enemies, watch out, today's not the day. You don't wanna

1:21:06

catch me. You don't wanna catch me building

1:21:08

a Ramadan. If you don't wanna, you don't wanna catch

1:21:10

me. And everyone's gonna catch it. All

1:21:12

the oppressors, Biden's gonna catch it. The

1:21:14

Chinese government's gonna catch it. The

1:21:17

Israeli government's gonna catch

1:21:19

it. Islamophobia is gonna catch

1:21:21

it. Don't give it away. Don't give it

1:21:23

away. Everyone is catching it. It's

1:21:25

up. It's D-Day for everybody. You

1:21:28

know, and so, literally, P2 baby, it's up. It's

1:21:32

up. It's up. Definitely like working

1:21:34

on that season. But

1:21:36

do you mean the next, the subsequent season as

1:21:38

well? That

1:21:41

would have been amazing. But yeah, we can't think, do

1:21:44

you guys hear songings coming up? Woo!

1:21:48

No. And

1:21:50

I know every listener is gonna be like, just ask,

1:21:52

but I'm gonna tell you guys, this Ramadan is gonna

1:21:54

be a very powerful season, but

1:21:56

the one after that is gonna be, ugh, you

1:21:59

guys are. Literally not gonna, you

1:22:01

and I, every Friday, it's

1:22:04

that's it. And it's gonna be probably the most talked

1:22:06

about season, in my opinion, is the one that's gonna

1:22:08

come out in the fall. Shah Allah, I feel like

1:22:10

it's gonna be the most talked about. I feel like

1:22:12

we have episodes coming out and Ramadan that's gonna be

1:22:14

very talked about. Because we're really

1:22:17

pushing the envelope, we're really pushing the envelope in Shah

1:22:19

Allah. We're really trying something different. But as well guys,

1:22:21

like, even they kind of give that

1:22:23

disclaimer, and Shah Allah you guys just took the poor,

1:22:25

because that's been a bit of a worry of mine.

1:22:29

Because it's like, are we trying a bit

1:22:31

too differently? We're trying of course, the tedious

1:22:33

guidelines. But, and Shah Allah, if it's

1:22:35

a bit different, please do give us your feedback. We do

1:22:38

oversee, really appreciate it. Shah Allah we can grow from that.

1:22:40

But just to the rest of the team, don't give away

1:22:42

too much guys, are you gonna respond? Yeah,

1:22:44

I know, I know, I know, I know. So

1:22:46

sorry, I know Hanif can't be like, you're

1:22:49

talking too much. But anyways, outside of

1:22:51

that, Rehia, is there any narratives that

1:22:53

you haven't yet explored? The

1:22:55

thing is, I feel like we will

1:22:57

just keep teasing the next

1:23:00

season. But for me, I'm not talking about the

1:23:02

next season in particularity, but I'm excited to see

1:23:04

how people are gonna react to it.

1:23:07

Because if they react in a good way,

1:23:09

and they're really like invested in it, I

1:23:11

really like that, what we're doing. I

1:23:14

really wanna keep working on very meaningful stories

1:23:16

and like impact people and like, try

1:23:19

to make a change, how

1:23:21

small it might be, but like contribute to

1:23:23

it is like what excites me,

1:23:26

honestly. Agreed,

1:23:29

agreed. I

1:23:31

have somewhere else to go with it. I have something

1:23:34

on my bucket list. And this

1:23:36

is inspired by someone that we met recently,

1:23:38

that we met on the retreat. Fatah,

1:23:41

if you're listening, we love you, it's just inspired

1:23:43

by you. Okay, when we were on the retreat,

1:23:46

there was a lady, there was Ethiopian sister,

1:23:49

and she was an older lady

1:23:51

and she was there with her daughter and her friend. And

1:23:54

she said to me, I sat down next to her

1:23:56

on the first day and she said to me, who

1:23:59

are you? what's your name I explained I'm from TDS. You're

1:24:02

from TDS? Where's Adder? Where's

1:24:04

Adder? Bring me Adder right now. I said, oh,

1:24:06

I'm sorry. Adder's still on the

1:24:08

plane. Adder's stuck right now. She's

1:24:11

having a bit of a situation. And

1:24:13

she, with tears in her eyes, explains

1:24:15

to me that every time an episode

1:24:17

comes out, her and her family

1:24:19

sit together and they all listen to the

1:24:21

episode together. And I know that you guys

1:24:24

have thought about this before. Like I know

1:24:26

that we know it's intergenerational, but in my

1:24:28

head, like I hadn't pictured so

1:24:30

many old women listening to the podcast. So

1:24:32

I would like to bring more of them

1:24:34

on it. Like I think she was telling me

1:24:36

how Haber Rahmah's story was really, really hip for

1:24:39

her. And I

1:24:41

would like to have like, imagine if we

1:24:43

had really had Haber Rahmah. I know we

1:24:45

think she's an angel, but like, I would

1:24:47

like to have more intergenerational

1:24:49

conversations with older women. I think that would be

1:24:51

really, really, you know. Yeah. I, I, it's interesting

1:24:53

because I feel like her name is Hannah Brooke

1:24:55

that. Yeah. Yeah. Intergenerational because a

1:24:57

lot of parents started listening from that episode and

1:25:00

they've stuck with us and said, and I like,

1:25:02

I said this in, I think the last wrap

1:25:04

up, but that's the part that impacts me most

1:25:07

is that that episode I guys, and

1:25:09

I've said this, I think I've said this

1:25:11

before, maybe I have not. That episode was,

1:25:13

I was scared to death at

1:25:15

how it was going to be taken by particularly

1:25:18

my community because so

1:25:20

I could be in my shallow tobacco. They're the best and

1:25:23

the greatest community in my opinion, because

1:25:25

I'm being biased by the way. But

1:25:27

there also, there's a lot of things. There's

1:25:29

a lot of stigma in our community and mental

1:25:31

health is one of the big ones. And

1:25:34

so I didn't know how to take it, but we'll

1:25:36

law here. I'll never forget after two weeks of hiding

1:25:38

in my room after the episode came back and went

1:25:40

to the message and I was met with, obviously the

1:25:42

elders in our community with

1:25:44

tears in their eyes hugging me and I was

1:25:46

so scared. I don't remember just burying my like

1:25:48

burying my face in their chest. I'm like, I

1:25:50

didn't know if you guys would like, we loved

1:25:53

it. You did the right thing. How you told

1:25:55

the story. You honored her. You didn't do this.

1:25:57

You didn't do that. I'm all just such a

1:25:59

great person. job and how she explained it

1:26:01

and I just I remember thinking this is what

1:26:03

impact looks like it's one thing

1:26:06

to impact one generation or Gen Z

1:26:08

or Millennials but it's a completely different

1:26:10

ballgame when a story can be told

1:26:12

from our perspective and it resonates with

1:26:15

a generation like

1:26:17

them from them because it's two different

1:26:19

worlds what they lived and what we live I

1:26:21

mean like our parents right from a war-torn country

1:26:23

I've never even seen a war-torn country you know

1:26:25

I'm saying it so it's it's a narratives and

1:26:27

the perspective of life is so different and I

1:26:29

feel like the gap is even large between us

1:26:31

for many of research for immigrant households the gap

1:26:34

is massive between our parents and the generation after

1:26:36

so that episode the fact that it made

1:26:38

it smaller and the fact that it

1:26:40

was content that they listened to with

1:26:42

their daughters in their car honestly all

1:26:44

I can say is Alhamdulillah I was

1:26:46

gonna say because

1:26:49

like my mom and she's gone back and

1:26:51

listen to every single episode every

1:26:53

I couldn't get her off my Spotify account I

1:26:55

need to make her own one sorry

1:26:58

but she's always said yes because she was

1:27:00

never given the opportunity to really learn Islam

1:27:02

for herself and I

1:27:04

think it's for her listening to

1:27:06

it I

1:27:14

think for her it's just like seeing Islam in

1:27:16

practice and in different walks

1:27:19

of life because I think for

1:27:21

a long time she's been made to feel like

1:27:23

the way she does it is wrong but there's

1:27:25

obviously the fundamentals right and wrong outside of

1:27:29

that you know obviously people

1:27:31

have their own cultures and their own

1:27:33

ideas and ideals yes spirituality

1:27:35

basically the manifestation of spirituality is part

1:27:37

of a is the part that is

1:27:40

so powerful that we don't get to

1:27:42

explore enough how that story and their

1:27:44

relationship a lot expands or grows or

1:27:47

deepens over time into hardships

1:27:49

is what really connects us all but I

1:27:51

actually want to answer the question too but

1:27:53

let me say I'm really curious to hear

1:27:55

like is there any narrative or storyline that

1:27:58

you kind of want to explore that that

1:28:00

we haven't yet explored yet? I

1:28:03

really want us to be fearless this

1:28:05

year because I feel like there's so

1:28:07

many things that we felt like are

1:28:11

holding us back, but we've pushed

1:28:13

through them and we continue

1:28:15

to push through them. Since the start of

1:28:17

TDS, since the inception of TDS, it's always

1:28:19

been about pushing the envelope and doing things

1:28:21

that people don't wanna hear and

1:28:23

doing things for the benefit of our Ummah.

1:28:26

And that's not always gonna be comfortable. It's

1:28:28

not always gonna be things that people wanna

1:28:31

hear, but it's necessary. I

1:28:34

just like the way that we're going with TDS.

1:28:36

I like the path that we're going down, which

1:28:38

is continuing to do things that

1:28:40

stand out and are different

1:28:42

and are needed for people to hear.

1:28:44

Because some stories, you know, are very

1:28:46

hard to find and we put them out

1:28:49

there and it's good

1:28:51

for the people, for the people, for

1:28:53

us. And

1:28:56

so I really just wanna continue doing that

1:28:58

this year. I just wanna be fearless and

1:29:01

I want all of our members to be reminded

1:29:03

like that's what we're here to do at TDS.

1:29:06

And we're not like, we

1:29:09

don't have any, what's the

1:29:11

word, like responsibility.

1:29:13

We don't have any

1:29:15

thing that we need to follow. We

1:29:17

don't have any rules that we need to follow. It's all

1:29:19

up to us. Yeah,

1:29:22

yeah. Yeah, well, and it's interesting

1:29:24

because I think that's, with the

1:29:26

mindset we are in making in the new season, we

1:29:28

have to force ourselves to be fearless a little

1:29:30

bit. And it's scary because

1:29:33

as the platform gets bigger and the audience

1:29:35

gets bigger, the responsibility gets bigger. And that's

1:29:37

something that was very heavy on us. But

1:29:39

the responsibility also can't put

1:29:42

a tape over our mouth. Yeah. It

1:29:44

also shouldn't stifle our

1:29:46

vision to push and

1:29:49

say, hey, this is a narrative that needs to be

1:29:51

talked about. This is a pain, this is a sore

1:29:53

spot. This is a narrative that we don't often explore

1:29:55

and we need to, we need to go there. Our

1:29:58

religion goes everywhere. doesn't shy away

1:30:01

from any question or

1:30:03

issue, nothing. So

1:30:06

why are we afraid to go there?

1:30:09

Just because society or what people told

1:30:11

us, it's not,

1:30:13

this is a podcast about deans. This

1:30:15

isn't about culture or society. You know,

1:30:17

it is about society in hindsight, but

1:30:19

in terms of like, how are we

1:30:22

making society better? Not how society

1:30:24

is policing us. Does that make sense? Exactly.

1:30:26

But I will say, you know what story I would love

1:30:28

for us to explore? A story

1:30:30

about FDM, we

1:30:32

haven't gone there. And I would really, really,

1:30:34

really like to tell a story about FDM. If you're

1:30:36

a listener and you have a really good story, maybe

1:30:38

you experienced it, definitely email us. I really want to

1:30:40

talk about FDM. I also want to talk about, I

1:30:42

know this is really random, but I want to tell

1:30:44

a story of a princess. I

1:30:47

don't know, it sounds so random. It's like, what does

1:30:49

that even mean? But like, yeah,

1:30:52

a real one, like a fallen, maybe even

1:30:54

a fallen princess, like a princess that was

1:30:56

one but abdicated. You've

1:30:58

watched the princess and the marine, haven't

1:31:00

you? Yeah. That's

1:31:03

what I was going to say.

1:31:05

Listen, that's what the film. But listen, the reason, I

1:31:08

don't even care about, but the reason why I want

1:31:10

to tell stories about princesses is because the Islamic

1:31:12

world has always had royal families. You know

1:31:14

what I'm saying? And we've always had monarchs

1:31:17

and we always had like, so I

1:31:19

just wanted to explore a story, even

1:31:21

a family who might have

1:31:23

been from royals or, you know what I'm

1:31:26

saying? I

1:31:28

think that it's an interesting story to tell about

1:31:32

from an Islamic or from a Muslim worldview.

1:31:37

I don't know if you guys know the royal

1:31:39

family, Bernice got married, their prince got married. Jordan's

1:31:43

prince also got married. There

1:31:45

is just a plethora of

1:31:47

things going on. I would

1:31:49

love to tell stories from that we

1:31:51

don't quite have an insight on. But we know everything

1:31:53

about non-Muslim royals. We know everything

1:31:56

about non-Muslim monarchs. We know everything about, but

1:31:58

we don't know nothing about. the

1:32:00

Muslims that have monarchs themselves and

1:32:02

what they're doing, what are they, are they good people,

1:32:05

are they not, do they do charity, do

1:32:07

they follow the sunnah, do they, you know,

1:32:09

like what is their view of the world

1:32:11

in government and like what are their biggest,

1:32:13

like I just fascinated in my I was

1:32:15

like I just would love to tell a

1:32:17

story about a royal or even a fallen

1:32:19

princess or even a warrior in

1:32:22

a different sense. Okay so my last question

1:32:25

for you guys and I think this is

1:32:27

a really good one because a lot of

1:32:29

people are really inspired by TDS's work

1:32:31

right, by your work, by

1:32:33

your efforts, that they also started to do

1:32:35

the heart work as Nora from our directors

1:32:37

describes it. She describes TDS as heart work,

1:32:40

you know, it's not that heart work isn't

1:32:42

easy, heart work isn't like it's just not

1:32:44

easy because it like forces you to to

1:32:46

work from here and not maybe from your

1:32:49

brain or your pockets or rationale but just

1:32:51

from the heart and so one advice because

1:32:53

I we get this in the DMs all

1:32:55

the time people telling us oh I started

1:32:58

this project because I was inspired by an

1:33:00

episode or besides the fact that the way that you

1:33:02

guys do things and I think that's so amazing because

1:33:04

if TDS isn't inspiring people to do more heart work

1:33:06

then what is it really doing so alhamdulillah that's the

1:33:08

case so you guys being obviously

1:33:10

in the center of this like heart work

1:33:13

what advice would you give other

1:33:15

people who are either working on heart work

1:33:18

right now currently or who are

1:33:20

thinking about you know doing more

1:33:22

heart work in 2024. Right,

1:33:25

Allah, I know

1:33:27

it's an obvious one but you like

1:33:30

you have asked Allah to put barakah in

1:33:32

the work that you're doing, ask

1:33:34

Allah to purify your intentions, if

1:33:37

he's what brought me to TDS I'm sure he's

1:33:39

what brought a lot of us to TDS that

1:33:43

is like the main one for me

1:33:45

just just constantly ask yourself is

1:33:48

what I'm doing true to myself

1:33:50

and is it true to my

1:33:52

religion. That's powerful absolutely.

1:33:54

It's very easy to get into your own

1:33:57

little bubble and just kind of stay in

1:33:59

Your mind. I

1:34:07

do from any to the to really.

1:34:11

Pick isn't indicates neary buried and me.

1:34:15

and i think as he car all it in a

1:34:17

different are. Stage. Of limits for ordinary

1:34:19

but with us at your favorite

1:34:21

they says he loves up at

1:34:23

night. President has has that is

1:34:25

just. You and God

1:34:27

right now sit and read it

1:34:29

said canvassing and. By yeah I

1:34:31

think is. Stephanie. To

1:34:35

to see some few. And

1:34:39

imperfect is off to take us of.

1:34:42

Your. Bubble forces of try different

1:34:44

things are only interested since

1:34:46

hook a different state of

1:34:48

activities. Together in a total bold and I think

1:34:50

it's from a lot but a set of help.

1:34:53

I just think the Huskies know what

1:34:55

you're going on. To. Court for

1:34:58

yes know your attention of enough to remind

1:35:00

yourself of your concern all types of a

1:35:02

for the last to know that at your

1:35:04

my my of of my attention a lot

1:35:06

when it comes to Tds that as you

1:35:08

get carried away when you see what had

1:35:10

happened on. Like. Aspiration

1:35:13

dreams that you need to remind

1:35:15

yourself what you thought korea for

1:35:17

and the intention of Iowa. So

1:35:19

yeah I think quickly suffering of

1:35:21

back and it's normal to. Peaks

1:35:24

and troughs like ups and downs. And.

1:35:26

I cannot beat yourself up when you're in the do. A

1:35:29

even partially is to happen. Harley

1:35:32

in a dull moment and you find

1:35:35

this of latest same quite negative qualities

1:35:37

of and that will that help anyone

1:35:39

can use to the have to be

1:35:41

been around as you with Sir Richard

1:35:43

pools. Reminder. It

1:35:45

happens that will begin with my good

1:35:47

to have good friends. Because and

1:35:49

they can remind you when you do, when your

1:35:51

internal worth. Watching. as

1:35:53

it said i think very big on

1:35:56

renewing intentions just when you are intentioned

1:35:58

all the time when you're and your

1:36:00

down and your good moments, it's always good

1:36:02

to step back and just think, okay, why

1:36:04

am I doing this for, and what's the

1:36:06

reason behind it? And obviously

1:36:09

when you start the efforts, you don't

1:36:11

always see the results very quickly, but

1:36:13

I promise just this little percentage of

1:36:15

like result that

1:36:18

you end up seeing is

1:36:20

worth everything, every effort, every

1:36:22

down and bad moment

1:36:24

you have. Mm-hmm,

1:36:26

absolutely. I think to add to that,

1:36:29

really is when you're doing work that

1:36:32

is hard work or that is work centered

1:36:34

around Allah Subhana Tala, increase in

1:36:36

your private good deeds, for

1:36:39

your private prayers, your private affairs, because if

1:36:42

your best work is the work that you're doing

1:36:44

publicly, that

1:36:47

can mess with your intentions. If

1:36:50

the best part of you is the only, was the

1:36:52

work that all the people can see, that

1:36:54

can mess with your intentions. And so I got

1:36:57

this advice from my teacher many, many times. They

1:36:59

said, you know, since you're doing work that's very

1:37:02

public, you need to increase in your private aybada,

1:37:04

your private, your private relationship with Allah Subhana

1:37:06

Tala, you need to increase in the Quran, you just have

1:37:08

to do that. You can't be the

1:37:11

champion for people and

1:37:13

then have a faulty relationship with

1:37:15

Allah Subhana Tala, have

1:37:17

a strange relationship with Allah, does it make sense?

1:37:21

And so, and just as Hannah said, you're gonna have

1:37:23

ups and downs, a little high immense, and that's gonna

1:37:25

be part of that journey in that hard work, but

1:37:27

it's also, it's always about coming back. It's always about,

1:37:29

you know, retrieving, coming back to your cave, you know,

1:37:31

as a person, I used to, you know, go to

1:37:34

cave hirah and find that solitude and that reminder and

1:37:36

it's really to be set again, as normal, you're a

1:37:38

human being, you need to reset. And

1:37:41

yeah, and I think that balancing of intention,

1:37:43

making sure your sincerity is so sincere is

1:37:46

to increase in private worship and private charity

1:37:48

and private everything. Like we have a private

1:37:50

life fap, like with Allah, have a really,

1:37:52

really good private life and have

1:37:55

a deed that nobody knows about that's only

1:37:57

between you and Allah, you know?

1:37:59

Things like fasting. is really good because nobody knows

1:38:01

if you're fasting you know unless you tell them

1:38:03

like that's good you know um fasting i always say

1:38:05

always say it's one of the best virtues because it's

1:38:07

just it's the type of Ibad that only is between

1:38:09

you and Allah you know and so things like that

1:38:12

and increasing is really really good but yeah you guys

1:38:14

that's beautiful advice and i'm excited

1:38:16

for everybody's hard work in the future

1:38:18

inshaAllah for everyone that's listening that's thinking

1:38:20

about maybe starting a podcast or starting

1:38:22

something um to support or to amplify

1:38:25

or to aid the ummah may

1:38:27

Allah Al-Sattah make you successful may

1:38:29

Allah Al-Sattah choose you because you

1:38:31

need to be chosen Allah Al-Sattah

1:38:33

chooses his custodians he chooses his means

1:38:36

uh of people he wants to use for good

1:38:38

ask Allah Al-Sattah to make you of those of

1:38:40

those means thank you guys so much to the

1:38:43

team just act Allah say it's a lot of

1:38:45

kalafi oh my god thank

1:38:47

you guys so much for listening i hope

1:38:49

you guys enjoyed this week's episode inshaAllah um

1:38:52

and you already know before i go i have

1:38:54

to give my credits where they're due yet me

1:38:56

i love to give a shout out to our

1:38:58

assistant producer Khoeya Bizid Suzak Allah Khaid for this

1:39:00

incredible mastery of an episode of putting it together

1:39:02

the way that you did i loved

1:39:04

every minute of it i want to give a

1:39:06

shout out to our lead producer Hannah Avin our

1:39:08

graphic designer was Sibifada our project manager Mohin Khan

1:39:11

our marketing extraordinaire Sosan of the

1:39:13

Lahe thank you guys so much

1:39:15

and thank you to all of our teams

1:39:18

that joined came together you know moved their

1:39:20

schedules around to ensure to do the episode

1:39:22

i love you guys so much and

1:39:24

uh i love you guys i've been taking 10 million times but

1:39:26

i love you guys i love you guys i love you guys

1:39:29

and yeah thank you for doing this

1:39:31

episode with us all right guys saranikum

1:39:33

i will see you guys as always

1:39:36

next week in your in well

1:39:38

not me stuttering on my outro

1:39:40

what let me did i guess

1:39:43

i'll see you guys next week

1:39:46

in your ears in your speakers

1:39:49

telling you a good story