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1:11

Content Warning. This episode

1:14

discusses domestic violence. Assalamu Alaikum

1:18

warahmatullahi wabarakatuh.

1:21

It is your sister and friend, Adar, and

1:23

you're listening to the

1:25

Digital Sisterhood Podcast.

1:28

Last week, AJ shared her journey

1:30

in becoming a Muslim and then journeying

1:32

off to live in Saudi and then

1:35

falling into this incredible opportunity

1:37

to translate incredible Arabic books into

1:40

English for others to access,

1:42

one of them being the Quran. But

1:45

in the end of the podcast is a part I want you

1:47

to remember. AJ so

1:49

powerfully proclaimed. We

1:51

look up to somebody like, oh, I can't reach

1:54

that level. And I would just think people,

1:56

you don't know me. You don't know

1:58

what hardships I've gone through.

1:59

You don't know the trials that I've gone through.

2:02

You don't know anything about

2:04

me. You only know that I participated

2:07

in this project and that does not define

2:09

me as a person or as a Muslim.

2:11

And this had me thinking, right?

2:13

What did she mean? But before

2:16

we deep dive into that a little later,

2:19

let's take it back a little into a more exciting

2:21

time in AJ's story. Now, when Brother

2:23

Sunil-Iman decided to close down the bookstore for good,

2:27

AJ just couldn't let that happen. I mean, all

2:29

those books that were just laying there collecting

2:31

dust with no access

2:33

for people to, you know, get knowledge

2:36

from, it just was out of the question for AJ.

2:38

Truth is, when AJ mustered up

2:40

the courage to ask him to inquire about his

2:42

bookstore, I'm not sure if she

2:44

believed he'd say yes to her because he had turned

2:47

on so many people. And

2:49

I approached him and I just said, listen, Sunil-Iman, you've

2:51

known me for all of these years. You

2:53

know, I don't have the money to buy this company. I

2:56

had only $8,000 to my name.

2:57

That was my life savings at

2:59

the time. I said, I'll give you that. And then

3:01

over time, I will inshallah pay

3:03

you off, right? What

3:05

do you think? And so we came to

3:07

an agreement. When my nationality

3:10

came, you know, I applied because

3:13

you know that everything there, you have to have

3:16

permission to publish, right? And

3:18

so I was able to eventually secure

3:21

that and I reopened the bookstore.

3:24

Buying the bookstore from Brother Sunil-Iman was

3:26

the easiest part of A.J. story. When

3:28

A.J. inquired about the bookstore right away, she

3:30

approached the manager of the building and

3:33

made a deal to renovate the bookstore. She

3:35

said to the building owner that she'd remodel everything

3:38

in exchange for a guarantee not

3:40

to raise the rent for five years.

3:42

Hamdulilah, you know, the owner agreed. So

3:45

now I have myself have

3:47

two contracts, right? That

3:49

I'm set in and

3:52

we go to the Chamber of Commerce in Jeddah, we

3:55

hand in the paperwork, the contract, the agreement.

3:57

So we think everything's on the go

3:59

ahead.

4:00

Nobody informed me that

4:03

even though everything had gone through legally

4:05

in Jeddah that there was a final step

4:08

of having to be approved by

4:10

a ministry in Riyadh

4:13

and when my paperwork got to Riyadh

4:16

they rejected it. Oh no.

4:19

And there was only two people

4:21

in the country higher than the

4:23

person that rejected it.

4:26

Now you know that in Islam and

4:28

I this was a shocker I had already signed these

4:30

contracts. I already had people

4:32

working in the store to

4:35

start the remodeling, create

4:37

the bookshelves, the counter, custom build,

4:39

all this stuff. So I can't just

4:42

like back out of these things. Now

4:45

we're talking about high officials.

4:48

Here's me, I don't know anybody,

4:50

how am I you know like there's no way for

4:52

me to get to these high officials and try to fight

4:55

this right.

4:56

But I was so distraught and

4:59

I happened to be out to lunch with a very close-knit

5:02

you know group of my friends and I

5:04

guess I was probably just in one of those moments

5:06

like oh my god what have I done

5:08

what am I gonna do. I was just

5:10

venting

5:11

and one of the my friends

5:14

who was also a foreigner said well who

5:17

is it who are these two people and

5:20

I said well it's either minister so

5:22

or the king. Yeah like you

5:25

know we're just

5:27

gonna go knock on their door and

5:30

one of my friends said

5:32

well she happened to know somebody

5:34

who knew that minister and I'm like

5:36

what like yeah.

5:41

Eventually what happened is I was

5:43

standing in my store still thinking that I

5:45

got to keep processing I got to find

5:47

a way to make this work and really putting trust

5:50

in a law maybe I was stupid but I didn't

5:52

know what else to do I couldn't just stop I owed

5:54

these people all this money and I'm in

5:56

these contracts right.

5:58

So my friend had

7:59

he went into the main store

8:02

where there's windows, that's completely empty at

8:05

this time, to go make

8:07

wudu.

8:08

And when he did, he saw somebody approaching

8:10

the store, this other guy, right? And

8:12

so he recognized him as a former customer

8:14

and went out and greeted him, and the customer's like, what's

8:17

going on here? And he said, oh

8:19

well, Suleiman closed, and Sister Amitala

8:21

took over, and she doesn't have the

8:23

permission yet to open, so we're waiting,

8:26

yada, yada, yada. And he says, well,

8:28

what's the problem? Now, unbeknownst

8:30

to us, this man also

8:33

worked for someone in

8:36

the department that we needed

8:38

to be cleared for the background check. Why, Allahu Akbar,

8:40

no, no, no, no, no, no, this is Allah. Absolutely

8:44

positively, the most

8:46

randomest day, but

8:49

he could, wow, I'm speechless, I

8:52

don't even know what to say. What do you think I was?

8:54

You know, so Abedneen has this man

8:56

call me and ask me, what's the problem?

8:59

And literally within days, permission

9:01

was granted. Allahu Akbar.

9:03

So if you

9:05

don't consider those miracles, this

9:08

is Allah's intervention. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, that

9:10

is divine, this was Allah's project. You

9:13

were just merely a vehicle, you

9:16

were just a means, you're just on this

9:18

ride, but Alhamdulillah chose you

9:20

as a vehicle, you know, to make

9:22

things happen, because you know what, Allah uses

9:24

you for khair.

9:26

It's a good thing, it's a very, very good thing, but

9:28

that is

9:29

unbelievable, that's actually unbelievable. So

9:31

when you heard about this conversation, you were just like jaw

9:33

dropped, you're like, what? Absolutely,

9:37

and that's why I always said this is

9:39

not our project, this is Allah's project.

9:41

You know, I relate to that very

9:44

deeply, I feel like I feel that way about the podcast,

9:46

this podcast, because we started this in

9:48

our bedroom,

9:50

and then one year later and a half, 10 million

9:52

listeners. I don't know how, I

9:55

don't know how that, I don't know, like if you ask

9:57

Muna, she's right there, we can't tell

9:59

you. hope this happens,

10:01

but all we know is that like

10:03

this is a lost project. This is what

10:06

a law wants. And our biggest

10:08

concern is, is not messing it up. Really

10:10

like our biggest concern is being

10:13

the best vehicle we could be.

10:16

And so I relate to what

10:18

you're saying so, so deeply. Wow,

10:21

sorry. I'm just, I got to soak that in for a second.

10:24

For 10 years, AJ

10:26

was running her bookstore, okay,

10:28

still translating, reading, adding

10:31

bookstore to her bookstore collection. I mean, AJ was

10:33

living essentially her best life. Okay.

10:36

Until one day, one

10:37

day her child needed immediate

10:40

medical attention. And

10:42

what was supposed to be a temporary trip to the US,

10:45

unfortunately became a permanent one.

10:48

I remember getting into the van

10:50

and looking back at the door. And

10:53

I had this gut feeling

10:55

that I would never walk back in it. I

10:58

thought, okay, it's good to bring the kids back now,

11:01

because you know, my daughter was a junior.

11:03

And I thought, okay,

11:05

she can do June, junior

11:07

in her senior year. That means we'd be

11:09

residents. So when it came time to college, transition

11:12

to college, it would make it easier.

11:14

But after I got here, nothing

11:17

went as planned. I had said to

11:19

my sister and her husband,

11:21

you know, we're coming back. We

11:23

plan to just stay with you guys

11:25

for a couple weeks, I'll get a job. I'll

11:28

move out, you know, we just appreciate a little

11:30

transition time.

11:32

That transition lasted nine months.

11:35

Although this was my home

11:37

country, this was my home city, this

11:40

is everything I was familiar with. I

11:42

couldn't find a livable wage job.

11:44

I,

11:45

you know, here I am in my early fifties.

11:47

And I've had all this experience running

11:50

my own businesses.

11:52

But I ended up later going to

11:54

a career counselor who told me no

11:56

matter how much you've done, it's it was

11:58

your businesses

11:59

no one for them

12:02

to ask what kind of employee is she.

12:04

Also, because I had only done an AA

12:07

in school, which is, if I look back in life, probably

12:09

one of my biggest regrets. I

12:11

remember thinking at the time when I went to college

12:14

that I knew exactly what I wanted to do. I

12:16

wanted to own a business. So I said, why go to

12:18

a four-year college and learn philosophy

12:21

and French and all these subjects that I thought were

12:23

kind of unnecessary? When what

12:25

I want to do is business. So I went to business school

12:27

and got my degree in business and thought, boom,

12:30

I'm going to get my business started at 20.

12:33

So when I came back, it looks

12:35

like here's a 50-year-old woman with

12:37

an AA and what

12:40

does she have to show for it? I thought

12:42

I had a lot to show. I thought my experience

12:45

would show my capabilities, but

12:48

the reality turned out to be is that they look at

12:50

your degrees before anything else. And

12:52

they have a lot of automated systems now that

12:54

read the resumes. So I probably

12:56

just came up as a red flag. So I started

12:58

applying at places like Target

13:01

and, you know, Metro Mobility and

13:03

places like this, but nothing was even $15 an

13:05

hour. And here I am going, I have

13:07

to provide for two kids and myself, I'm $15

13:10

an hour? That's not even a livable

13:12

wage for a single parent, right? I

13:14

mean, I was still technically married, but part

13:16

of the agreement was that if I was going to stay behind

13:18

in America for a while, that I was going to have to start

13:21

working to pitch in.

13:22

I got to the point where I said, all

13:24

right, I'm just going to apply. So I'm thinking 18, 19, $20 an hour

13:26

is the minimum,

13:29

but I had to bring that standard down to 15 bucks.

13:33

And I applied anywhere for, I

13:36

put in over a hundred resumes

13:39

and only got a couple of interviews.

13:41

What was AJ supposed

13:44

to do? I mean, can you

13:46

imagine how demoralizing

13:48

that must have been for her to start from the bottom

13:51

at her age with all that

13:53

work experience, but nothing

13:55

counted? Imagine having

13:57

to start from scratch with children

13:59

who need you too. I

14:01

remember when I came across Agee's LinkedIn, when

14:04

I was first looking for her, I saw that she

14:06

had worked at a male-handedly place,

14:08

which meant that she worked at a physically demanding factory

14:11

job. And if I'm being honest,

14:13

I just couldn't believe my eyes. I honestly

14:15

couldn't believe what I was reading because I kept thinking,

14:17

how did a person who

14:20

owned this incredible bookstore, okay, translated

14:23

so many classical books for us to read and

14:26

contributed to the Ummah in such a large

14:28

way be the same person,

14:31

essentially struggling,

14:34

working at a factory job. I just could

14:36

not put two and two together.

14:39

At the time, you know, Agee was very, very fortunate

14:42

enough to have a sister that helped her during

14:44

that transition period back in February 2017.

14:47

Although Agee was like in complete survival mode

14:50

and was completely focused on seeing a float,

14:53

Agee struggled, man. She really,

14:56

really struggled. I

14:58

wasn't at the post office that long. It

15:00

was like from three in the

15:03

afternoon to one in the morning.

15:04

So this was not convenient at all

15:07

because my kids were coming home from school then.

15:09

Very tiring, you know, to work that night

15:12

shift. You come home, it's like you don't even

15:14

want to sleep before Federer because you know, if

15:16

you go to sleep now, you're so tired, you're not going to hear

15:18

the alarm. And

15:20

just the way that it worked when you went in there, if

15:22

you were a mail handler assistant, you

15:24

had to wait for somebody to be retired

15:27

or leave before you could start moving up into

15:29

the permanent positions. And there's

15:32

not a lot of turnover. So you

15:34

don't get the full benefits working

15:37

as an assistant, you know, they kind of limit you

15:39

to 30 some hours and so that you don't get,

15:41

you know, all this vacation time, you don't

15:43

get the full medical blah, blah, blah. So

15:46

it wasn't ideal.

15:47

And one of my co workers left and

15:49

went to a large

15:52

corporation that, you know, produces

15:54

food. And he's like, you're

15:56

never going to get anywhere.

15:58

Why don't you come out here? you know, the

16:00

pay's better. And I said, you

16:02

think I'm gonna drive 27 miles one way every

16:05

day to get out there? He said, just come

16:07

out and check it out. I think you'll be happy just

16:09

because the

16:10

income is good, the benefits are good. Well,

16:13

they have to make them

16:14

good because nobody would do those jobs otherwise.

16:18

The factory work is, I never

16:20

imagined myself again at that age, but you

16:22

do what you gotta do. So out

16:25

of curiosity, like what was the factory work? What was it like?

16:27

Describe us, like what is it like clocking in?

16:29

So I was on

16:32

a line, on a food production line,

16:34

and I started out doing where

16:36

like the wrapping of the products was. But

16:40

that's not the only thing you do. You

16:42

also, they close down the whole plant once a

16:44

month and you do a ceiling to floor

16:47

clean. So you're up there actually. Yeah,

16:50

you use the scissor lifts and you're

16:52

up there with brushes, you know, shaking

16:55

off all the flour from the pipes.

16:58

Yeah, so they have janitors for the everyday

17:00

stuff, like cleaning the bathrooms, but for cleaning

17:02

the factory, you take the ovens apart,

17:05

you take the freezers,

17:06

you defrost the big freezers.

17:09

It is hard, physical, you know,

17:12

very labor intensive work. Your

17:14

feet hurt, your back hurt, you know, it

17:17

wasn't a lot of fun. And I remember one time

17:19

in Ramadan, because you're on your line,

17:22

the breaks really have to be very coordinated.

17:25

And there were times in Ramadan that they

17:28

would schedule my break at one in the morning and

17:30

let's say fasting didn't start until five, but

17:33

I would literally have to start my fast at

17:35

one in the morning because I could

17:37

not get to the cafeteria. Of

17:39

course, there's no food and drink on the line. So

17:42

if I- So you were basically were fasting

17:44

since one, even though you're supposed to start at five, fast

17:46

at five. Yeah, yeah. So

17:48

you weren't eating. Oh my goodness, that's kind

17:50

of really, that's really harsh. I

17:52

mean, you'd be fasting for a really long time.

17:55

Yeah, you know, there were other times where they'd

17:57

take my break, you know, because they wrote-

18:00

people but I didn't have a choice in the matter

18:02

there's not a lot of people who can cover you because you

18:05

have to be trained on each section of

18:07

the line so you got the mixers

18:09

at the beginning of the line and then you got the people

18:11

on the ovens and you got the people doing the

18:14

wrapping you know end of

18:16

the line duh duh duh right so

18:18

I wasn't trained on all aspects of the line

18:20

but some other people were and so they would come

18:22

and cover you you know the people that had been there for a

18:24

long time but it had to go according to

18:27

everybody's breaks so it was really it

18:29

was exhausting

18:30

and then when I first started it was eight

18:32

hour shifts right and then after I was there for

18:34

a while the employees actually voted

18:37

to do 12-hour

18:39

shifts but then you were three days

18:41

one week and then four days the next week

18:43

but yeah so it was wow

18:46

you'd be working so many hours and then you'd come

18:48

home when your kids are waking

18:50

up yeah because at the factory I worked

18:53

over nights originally so we started

18:55

like 10

18:56

or 11 at night and got off at six

18:58

or seven in the morning you know my

19:00

kids should have been up and out the

19:02

door already and

19:04

I would come I would be driving

19:06

thank God my car has that automatic sensor

19:08

so that if I would start going over the lines I

19:11

would fall asleep coming home because it was 27 miles

19:13

away and I would drift off I would

19:16

open the windows I would turn on the radio

19:19

but I was so exhausted it was

19:21

even dangerous and you're

19:23

so tired and so busy with

19:25

surviving I started

19:28

not recognizing myself

19:31

you know here I had been this person

19:34

working in Dawa this person publishing

19:36

Islamic books you know this person

19:38

who was very regular about all of

19:41

my Ibadah and I just

19:44

started seeing it

19:45

was wearing

19:48

on my soul for that first year

19:50

of working the overnight shift I

19:53

would come home exhausted I would always

19:55

fall asleep but

19:58

four hours later my body

20:00

never ever ever adjusted to

20:03

sleeping in the day, even though

20:05

my room was completely blacked out. But

20:08

for over a year, I literally slept

20:10

four hours a day and

20:12

your body just isn't meant to do

20:14

that. And I think I just reached

20:17

a point of sheer exhaustion

20:19

and I remember standing

20:21

or more like I was

20:24

envisioning myself just standing

20:26

looking out the window and literally

20:28

feeling like

20:31

I was sliding down that proverbial robe

20:33

of Allah. And like

20:35

I was at the bottom

20:38

and holding on for dear life. You

20:41

know, Alhamdulillah that I never stopped praying.

20:43

I never took off my hijab. You know, I

20:46

never stopped fasting. I did all the requirements,

20:49

but I still felt like my heart in

20:51

many ways was empty.

20:53

You know, there was no time to go

20:55

to the masjid or to the helikas or to

20:58

like my life was just

21:01

so different. It

21:03

was survival mode and

21:05

it affected my man greatly. And

21:08

I felt almost like

21:11

hypocritical. I don't mean

21:13

that I was a hypocrite in that I didn't believe

21:15

or that I was against Islam anyway,

21:18

but I felt like I had

21:20

been one kind of person. And

21:22

now I was almost like I didn't recognize

21:25

myself like I was somebody else. I

21:27

was ashamed

21:28

because I felt like how can Allah be pleased

21:30

with me when I'm just barely

21:34

I'm just doing the bare minimum. And

21:37

I kept telling myself, I

21:39

know Allah. I know my

21:41

dean. So why

21:44

am I struggling? You know, Shaitan and

21:46

I thought that because I was a firm,

21:49

strong, practicing Muslim that Shaitan could never

21:51

get to me this intensely.

21:54

And it almost came to me as a shock, like

21:56

how can I have been such a practicing Muslim

21:59

and now be Shaitan?

21:59

struggling so greatly with my

22:02

Amen. Like I believed wholeheartedly,

22:06

but I was just wandering

22:09

blindly at the same time. And

22:11

I would tell myself like you have to,

22:14

this is why you have to keep going back to the sources

22:16

and be around good people and

22:19

go to the halakas or sit down with your

22:21

book or listen to the podcast

22:23

or whatever it is, you know.

22:26

We can't, because once you let

22:28

one thing slide, then

22:31

all the other things start disappearing

22:33

too.

22:35

And it's not to say that Allah, he's

22:38

always there for Toba, right? We

22:40

can never, if we slide, we can never let

22:42

it get

22:43

us down to the point that

22:45

we don't think that we can get back. And

22:49

we also know that Uman goes up

22:51

and down. But for me, it was like such

22:54

a drop down a mountain. It wasn't little baby

22:57

hills. It felt

22:59

like sliding

23:01

down a mountain. The

23:04

troubles for A.J. didn't end

23:06

there. Although things were looking

23:08

on the up and up again, especially after she

23:10

found our new apartment that fall,

23:14

her marriage fell apart. A.J.

23:16

and the father of her children decided to go their separate ways

23:19

and for the first time in a long

23:21

time, she was completely in this thing

23:23

called life alone.

23:26

But A.J. wasn't the type to believe

23:29

in doing life alone. Okay. A.J.

23:31

wasn't that type of girl. A.J. was a hopeless

23:33

romantic. And so

23:35

A.J. met a guy online that

23:38

was like no other man she had ever met before.

23:41

He really sparked that joy back into her life

23:43

after a long slumber of life's ebbs

23:45

and flows.

23:47

He would read Islamic books with her, go hiking

23:49

with her, show her the kind

23:52

of love she's always prayed for. To

23:54

be honest, but it sounds like what we all prayed for. The problem

23:58

was he lived in another state. Which

24:00

meant that she had to pack up once again To

24:03

take a leap on love So

24:07

we had gotten married before I moved like

24:09

I had gone down there we had gotten married I came back

24:11

and You know the whole time

24:14

I was looking for a job. I didn't want to go

24:16

till I had a job there right,

24:19

and then at one point I

24:20

actually went to visit and and

24:24

Rented an apartment there thinking that

24:27

would be easier for potential

24:30

Employers to see that I'm

24:32

established there, right? So

24:35

that's what I did But

24:38

so when we had first gotten married he Said

24:41

that he was living with

24:44

a brother in his family and You

24:47

know like if I sent things

24:49

in the mail I Would

24:51

send him to this address and

24:54

I remember him saying don't put

24:56

your return address on

24:58

the package and

25:00

I said why I said I just don't want anybody

25:02

in my business. I'm living in other people's houses. I

25:05

don't want them in my business and So

25:08

even though it struck me as kind of weird. I didn't see

25:10

it as a red flag. It should have been a red flag

25:14

Okay, so picture this close

25:16

your eyes on the morning of

25:18

the first day of the rest of their lives AJ's

25:20

Prince Charming Dries down

25:22

in his carriage to pick up his princess

25:25

to move across the stage to finally

25:27

be with each other Cuz long distance

25:30

just wasn't cutting it for them. And how

25:32

could it for these star-crossed lovers?

25:35

right but

25:37

wait on The day

25:39

of their move AJ started to

25:41

notice something I'm gonna

25:43

just say it AJ started

25:45

to see Massive their

25:48

danger here. Do not look away

25:51

bloody bloody

25:54

bright red

25:56

flags There

25:59

were red flags from the very beginning. And

26:01

it's not that I was choosing them

26:04

to ignore them. I just, if I go

26:06

back now, I see that that's what it was. Like

26:08

the evening that I left Minnesota,

26:11

packed up the U-Haul to go.

26:13

And my family literally lived eight

26:16

blocks away.

26:18

And he told me, we don't have time to go say goodbye to them.

26:20

Wow. He wouldn't let

26:22

me bring my microwave. He wouldn't let me

26:25

bring my weights that were my dad's. He

26:28

wouldn't let me bring a cooler that belonged to my

26:30

dad. Like he was stripping me

26:32

of,

26:32

and it didn't make any sense.

26:35

I'm like,

26:36

you have enough stuff. It's too full.

26:38

You don't need to bring anything else.

26:40

And I'm thinking, what? Here

26:42

I am. I had given up my apartment.

26:46

I had given up my job. So

26:48

what can

26:50

I do in this moment? And he said, well, if you really

26:52

wanna go see your family, then just catch

26:54

up with me. And I'm like, I don't

26:56

even know. I'm traveling across the country. How

26:59

am I gonna just catch up with you?

27:01

Wow. And so I'm

27:04

standing there going, part

27:07

of myself is saying, you shouldn't

27:09

be going.

27:10

And the other part is saying, how can you not go?

27:13

All of your stuff is packed up and

27:15

he must just be tired. And

27:18

so you want your newlyweds, you

27:21

want your marriage to be good. And so you

27:23

just ignore things.

27:25

If you see that somebody's getting upset,

27:28

you don't wanna rock the boat. But literally

27:31

the whole trip down there, he tortured me psychologically.

27:35

He stopped on, made me stop on the side of the highway

27:37

at one point and just

27:39

was screaming at me for no

27:41

reason. He told me that he was,

27:44

he said, you're tired. You can't take, you can't

27:46

drive straight through, but I can because I road

27:48

trip a lot. And he forced

27:50

me

27:51

to stay by myself on

27:53

the side of the road and told me that

27:56

I couldn't come. And

27:58

I'm thinking what kind of husband. does that.

28:01

What do you mean you couldn't come? What does that mean leaving your side

28:03

of the road? I understand. He said it wasn't he was

28:05

trying to tell me it wasn't safe for me to keep driving

28:08

because you know it's a long trip and this

28:11

was probably the 15 hour mark

28:13

or 14 hour mark and he just said I

28:16

worry about you driving. Because

28:18

see he was driving a van that

28:20

I had purchased with the U-Hull

28:23

on the back and I was driving my

28:25

car. Hmm.

28:26

And so he was trying to say that

28:28

it was for my safety and I'm thinking

28:30

but you can't just leave me here on the

28:33

side of the road. So I don't understand.

28:36

I don't get it Avatola. Was he gonna let you stay

28:38

there sleep there in your car? He told me he told

28:41

me I had to stay there and sleep. And

28:43

he was gonna go. Yeah

28:44

so of course this is a major

28:46

red flag and I'm thinking what what

28:49

is going on with him. And

28:52

now I'm halfway across the country. We

28:54

had already I had already rented the apartment.

28:57

But this is the first time you guys are moving in like you're you're packing

28:59

up you're going you know like this is where you guys are gonna begin

29:01

your chapter and this is how he starts

29:03

the chapter. That's insane. And you

29:06

know what's crazy you probably felt like am I

29:08

overthinking this?

29:10

Maybe he doesn't you know mean it that way you

29:12

know because you you know when you go through something

29:15

the reality of what you're seeing you almost cannot

29:17

accept

29:18

because it would just be too much

29:21

to accept feeling wise. Yeah

29:23

it's like a shock. Yeah it's a

29:25

shock and in it and it's like almost survival

29:28

as well. It's like if you let those feelings of I

29:30

think I'm making the greatest mistake of my life right

29:32

now

29:33

you couldn't handle that in that moment. So

29:35

what you do instead is you tell yourself okay you try to make

29:38

excuses. When somebody just said

29:40

I'm sorry I was having an awful day let me

29:42

make it up to you know you just you

29:45

have a hope that because there

29:47

seemed to be so I've been talking about

29:49

all the negative things right but there was also this

29:52

other side that seemed to be sincere

29:55

and you know playful and fun

29:58

and and I thought you know we'll see

29:59

have struggling at work or

30:02

whatever it might be like, just give

30:04

them some time do some Dawa,

30:06

you know, figure it's a new relationship.

30:09

Sometimes you got to work out. You

30:11

know, you got to get to know somebody better. Whatever

30:14

was going through my head, you know, try

30:17

I guess I wanted it to work and

30:19

I thought I could make it work. Stop

30:22

right there. Okay, stop right there. Don't move. Don't

30:24

even breathe. Okay. You good sis

30:27

got something to tell you. Some

30:29

of you may already know, any zikat

30:32

or sadaqah given during Ramadan is

30:35

multiplied by 70 times and the reward

30:39

for any righteous act is equivalent

30:41

to having performed the same deed.

30:43

Wait a minute. Wait for it.

30:45

Every single day for 83 years. Okay, 83

30:48

years, baby you cashing out. It's an opportunity

30:55

we all cannot miss. This

30:57

blessed month, TDS and HHRD

31:01

have joined forces to raise $25,600 USD to enable

31:03

us build six

31:07

clean bathrooms for young

31:10

schoolgirls in Somalia and Kenya.

31:13

Washrooms that provide an opportunity for girls

31:15

to attend school

31:15

comfortably, decreasing

31:18

the chances of waterborne diseases

31:20

spreading SubhanAllah. It's

31:22

crazy to think about. It also gives

31:25

you and I a chance to raise money

31:27

for a cause close to our hearts and empowering

31:29

girls in their journey to becoming women.

31:31

Head to

31:32

HHRD.org forward

31:35

slash TDS and donate. If

31:37

you're more interested in learning more, check out our Instagram

31:39

page.

31:40

But yeah, you guys,

31:42

you really cannot miss this. You cannot,

31:44

you cannot, you cannot. 83 years, baby.

31:47

If you don't head over to the donating area,

31:49

I don't know what to tell you.

31:55

AJ settled into life. She

31:57

starts work, moves into the house

31:59

that you got with her. Man, right,

32:01

classic, happily ever after.

32:04

Now, AJ's fairy tale quickly

32:08

turned into a complete nightmare.

32:11

What AJ thought was a bad day turned

32:14

out to be a pattern of violence throughout their

32:16

relationship. And on one terrifying

32:19

night, AJ finds

32:21

herself sitting on the bed and

32:23

her husband standing

32:25

over her with a bat. I

32:29

was actually sitting on a mattress on the floor.

32:32

He had picked up a bat

32:34

and literally said to me, I

32:37

could beat you bloody and leave you here to die and

32:39

nobody would ever know. So

32:43

that put the fear in me. I

32:46

said, this could be it. This

32:49

could be the end of my time.

32:53

And I just

32:55

stood up in his face, afraid, so

32:57

afraid. But

33:01

I said, if that's what you're gonna do,

33:04

I said, a shadow on Layla, halalah, if

33:06

that's what you're gonna do, you know who you're gonna

33:08

answer to. And

33:12

I know I was taking a risk doing

33:15

that because it could have aggravated

33:17

him more. Thankfully,

33:21

by Allah's mercy, he backed

33:24

off. But that wasn't the day I

33:26

left. That's

33:28

the day I knew I had to leave.

33:31

But you have to remember that I

33:33

left my home. I only had

33:37

some personal effects

33:39

with me. I had some kitchen

33:41

things, pots, pans, whatever. And in

33:43

my mind,

33:45

all I could think of was, I have

33:47

to find a way to escape this apartment, but

33:50

I need to take my stuff with me. I have nothing

33:52

in life except these boxes

33:54

of stuff. I

33:58

have nothing. and I'd have to

34:00

start over with nothing. So

34:03

things started to get really bad

34:05

for AJ, okay? She started to notice

34:08

odd things would happen,

34:10

that he would disappear, like he would legit

34:12

disappear, and some nights he wouldn't even

34:14

come home to sleep. One

34:17

day, AJ just had enough. Remember

34:20

that address he had her sending

34:22

packages to? She had a

34:24

nagging feeling that it was more than just strangers

34:27

he stayed with. And so she decided to

34:29

investigate further. Who

34:31

gets married and then their husband always has

34:34

excuses of why they're not around, and they take

34:36

off for a few days, or just

34:39

when you start hearing these excuses, things just don't

34:41

add up. But I knew that address,

34:45

and I actually sent somebody to the house,

34:47

because here I am working, but I knew

34:50

somebody who had

34:52

an opportunity during the

34:54

day to drive by, and

34:56

I asked her, drive by and tell

34:58

me what you see. And

35:01

my van was there, and she

35:03

recorded it, and then I had

35:05

a friend who actually started putting

35:07

pieces together, and

35:10

searched for the address, and found who

35:13

the owner was, and it was, I

35:15

mean, I knew the name of the wife,

35:18

but I was lied to.

35:20

They were still married, not divorced. When

35:23

AJ's coworker confirmed that

35:26

her car was indeed in the driveway,

35:29

AJ decided to check it out herself on that

35:31

night, where he was supposedly working

35:33

late. And the car, the

35:36

car, just like our coworker reported, was

35:38

parked again in that driveway. That's

35:41

when AJ, in an impulsive reaction,

35:44

decided to confront him when he got home that

35:46

morning. And when I tell you,

35:49

things hit the fan, things

35:52

hit the fan.

35:55

I confronted him, and I said,

35:58

you know, I went over to the hotel. her house,

36:01

you know, my vehicle was there.

36:04

Like he was driving a van

36:07

that I had purchased.

36:08

I mean, I was so stressed out at this point

36:10

because I was in fear. I didn't know how I was

36:12

gonna get away. All I wanted to do was

36:15

go get a pickup and you know, put

36:17

my stuff in it and put it in storage and go find a place

36:19

to live, right? But

36:21

I was always so afraid of him showing up

36:24

and being alone.

36:26

And I was actually in

36:28

the living room where the door

36:30

exited the apartment because I knew I was

36:32

gonna have to run.

36:34

So I ran and he was screaming at

36:36

me and I got in my car

36:38

and I called

36:40

my boss

36:42

because she actually turned out to be a really

36:44

cool lady and she knew what was going on. And

36:48

I told her, you need to call the police. I can't even call

36:50

the police. You know, I want you to record this

36:53

conversation because

36:55

it was just screaming, screaming.

36:57

I mean, he was enraged and

37:00

I was so afraid. And you know, the police

37:02

came and my boss actually called.

37:05

I was working in a school. She called the principal

37:07

of the school

37:08

and said, we need to

37:10

get AJ out of here. And so they came,

37:13

her husband came. So we had three vehicles and

37:15

we just packed up and he ended up, he

37:18

ran, you know, he left when the police came.

37:20

Not only that, they ended up calling because

37:23

we had nowhere to take my stuff. So

37:25

they actually called the district office. So

37:28

first of all, this was COVID times, right? So the school

37:30

was pretty much empty. And

37:32

they actually called the district

37:35

like the mental health services or something like

37:37

that. And they just said, can

37:40

we please bring her stuff and put it in

37:42

a storage room in the school? I mean, cause that's not

37:44

protocol. You know, they don't usually allow

37:46

somebody to do a favor like

37:48

that. It was a crisis,

37:51

you know? And see, the thing is, is

37:53

that he was following us

37:55

in this

37:57

truck that he was driving. And so,

38:00

We called the police

38:02

because we were like, he's stalking us. We

38:04

didn't want him to know where we were going.

38:07

And so we called the police and when the police came,

38:09

then he broke off from the

38:12

three vehicles. And

38:14

so the police pulled him over and he said

38:18

the junk that he said, like that was just his

38:20

hangout house. And he admitted

38:22

to them that he was married and lived somewhere else.

38:25

And

38:25

I don't know what he told them about me. So

38:27

then of course the police came to interview me and

38:31

they wouldn't do anything about it because he hadn't actually

38:33

harmed me.

38:34

And the janitor happened to be

38:37

the only one at school at that time.

38:39

And so the janitor saw everything and I

38:41

just approached him and I said,

38:44

just please promise me that

38:46

you didn't see any of this. Don't

38:48

tell anybody. And that guy was

38:51

just so like, he

38:54

walked me out to the parking lot every single

38:56

day after that, after I left, he said,

38:58

he's a big cockroach. That was his

39:00

description. So

39:03

the janitor kind of became my protector.

39:05

He wouldn't let me walk out to my car because he was

39:07

afraid

39:08

that he could be stalking me. And I

39:11

literally was watching my rear view mirror everywhere

39:13

I went, not knowing if

39:15

him or his wife or

39:18

wife's kids or anybody, he

39:20

could have sent anybody after me.

39:22

And thankfully I knew somebody.

39:25

So I actually reached out

39:27

to her the first day and said, I have nowhere to go.

39:29

Otherwise I'm gonna be sleeping in the mountains. And

39:32

so she said, one of the people in

39:34

her house was gonna be gone for the weekend

39:36

and I could come just for the weekend. But then I had to

39:38

figure out what to do after that. And amazingly,

39:41

one of my coworkers

39:43

went home and told her husband and

39:46

they welcomed me to come to their house. So

39:48

Allah opened the door. So I

39:50

was at their house for probably three,

39:53

four, five weeks. I really don't remember. I

39:56

know that I was there longer than I expected to.

39:59

I mean, I was.

42:00

He'd be at work and I'd be on the

42:02

phone with him for hours. We'd be reading Islamic

42:05

books together. It was a

42:07

load of quote unquote fun. You

42:09

know, we went hiking and road

42:12

trips and

42:14

you know, I was just like,

42:16

I can't believe that Allah blessed me with a man

42:18

like this

42:19

in the beginning. Right. But

42:21

it was all a front. But after I moved down

42:23

there, he couldn't keep up the secret anymore.

42:27

SubhanAllah. It must have

42:29

been like and that was like

42:31

that was the first time you had, you know,

42:34

got back on a horse and finding love. And when

42:36

you did, it just was nothing like what

42:38

you imagined. I felt like I

42:41

was losing my mind because I started

42:44

seeing the red flags. Right. I started

42:46

seeing the controlling abusive behavior.

42:49

And you just think to yourself, like,

42:53

what is this? You start

42:55

thinking you're crazy. Mm hmm.

42:57

Like why I

43:00

always wondered why did abused

43:03

women stay with their abusers? I could

43:05

never understand that. But

43:08

you are so trapped, especially

43:11

because I had no family there. I

43:13

only know knew a few people.

43:16

I had really nowhere to go. I didn't

43:18

know that Allah was going to open a door and that my co-worker, you

43:21

know, there was really only two people. Who

43:24

knew in the school, my immediate boss

43:27

and the one co-worker that we had, we just clicked. And

43:30

I entrusted her and she knew what

43:32

was going on. The one who offered

43:34

me her home.

43:36

But I really was so

43:38

alone in the world. I didn't know where to go. I

43:41

didn't have a lot of money. I didn't

43:43

even really know the city yet.

43:45

I didn't know my way around. And all I could

43:47

think of is I can't walk out of here with

43:50

just the clothes on my back. At least, you know,

43:52

how am I going to just replace

43:55

the few things that I do have?

43:58

Imagine how much more.

43:59

things would have been difficult for AJ has

44:02

she had not had the people to help her. When

44:05

you really deep her situation

44:07

you can't help but marvel at Allah

44:09

SWT. The

44:11

reality is her husband was her

44:13

only family. In a city she

44:16

had never lived in before barely knowing

44:18

its people, barely even know how to get

44:20

around the city and her husband

44:22

was a willy, he was her protector. He

44:26

was supposed to be a source of rahmah and love. But

44:28

look he turned on her and

44:31

she had no one. But

44:33

look how Allah sent help through

44:36

her boss, through her friend,

44:38

her co-worker, even a janitor.

44:41

Because the truth is your

44:44

willy can abandon you. But

44:46

Al-Willie the helper

44:49

would never abandon you. And

44:51

if you know who Al-Willie is you

44:53

know he's also the disposer of affairs.

44:57

And let me tell you how he handled hers

44:59

in the best way.

45:01

One day

45:03

AJ gets a call from an old boss

45:05

back in Minnesota

45:06

to offer her a job offering

45:09

her the same position with

45:12

higher pay. But

45:14

going back to Minnesota meant she

45:17

had to choose homelessness again because

45:19

what's there? She left everything.

45:21

There's nothing there for her. And

45:23

although it was difficult, AJ

45:26

prayed that

45:27

Allah would see her through.

45:30

I never in my life imagined

45:33

that in my 50s I would be homeless.

45:37

Allah again was merciful that

45:39

a person opened

45:41

their door to me. You know somebody

45:43

I knew again but not super

45:45

well. But enough

45:48

that they were they knew that I didn't have

45:50

anywhere to go. And said

45:53

until you get on your feet you can stay here.

45:57

So I'm you know in this woman's

45:59

basement. going, I got to

46:01

make a move. I can't let this time keep

46:03

going, going, going again. It was only supposed to probably

46:06

be a few weeks and turned into, you know, probably

46:08

three, four months. I don't remember how long I had

46:10

to have been at least three.

46:12

I just said to myself one day.

46:15

I wonder if I'd qualify for a house

46:17

loan.

46:18

Never really believing in my soul

46:20

that

46:21

I would.

46:23

So I applied on a Friday to an Islamic

46:25

mortgage company. I got the answer

46:27

the same day.

46:29

Okay. Yeah, you would apply. You would, you

46:31

would qualify for whatever

46:33

amount of money. I met

46:37

a realtor on Saturday, spent

46:40

the whole day Saturday afternoon, noon,

46:42

going through the listings,

46:46

picked out four places to go visit

46:48

on Sunday with her. And

46:51

the three that were at the top of my list, when

46:53

I actually got to the properties, they

46:56

were no way for whatever reason. And

46:59

so the fourth house was a house that I

47:01

really wasn't that that interested

47:04

in it, because it was, was a little

47:06

bit bigger than what I wanted, but it was

47:08

still within the price range

47:10

and I walked into the house. I

47:12

got halfway through it. I turned around, my sister

47:14

was with me and I said, this is my house.

47:18

Now the market at the time, it was

47:20

kind of a hot market, right? And the realtor told

47:23

me that, um, she actually stayed

47:25

after we left to see how many people came

47:27

to tour it.

47:29

She said, there's a lot of interest in this house. And if you

47:31

want to get it, you need to offer more than the listing.

47:34

And I said, I

47:35

can't, it is at the very top

47:37

of my budget.

47:39

And if it's meant for me, I'll get it. And if

47:41

it's not, I won't, but I will not offer

47:43

a penny more. Cause I can barely

47:45

offer what it is. I made the

47:47

offer. They accepted it

47:49

on Monday. I got a, I

47:53

got a house in like three days. Allahu

47:58

Akbar.

49:59

I was very comfortable when

50:02

I lived in Saudi Arabia And

50:04

then to come back here and like so

50:06

when I moved in my house, I

50:08

had no money for furniture but

50:11

there was an organization for

50:14

women who had been abused and So

50:18

they brought me furniture so nothing in my house matches

50:21

it's all used it's all whatever

50:25

but I'm so grateful

50:29

You know and you kind of feel again you feel like

50:31

oh My god, you

50:33

know like I hate asking anybody

50:35

for anything I never want to

50:37

feel indebted to another human being but you

50:39

have to get over that because Allah

50:41

provides Wow,

50:43

Allah, you know to see your story

50:45

and like full from beginning to end, you

50:47

know, it reminds me It's like subhanAllah. We're

50:49

going to be

50:50

tested until the day we

50:52

meet Allah like forever You might do something

50:55

really great then you'll go through another difficult

50:57

moment Then you'll be fine again, then you go to a different moment.

51:00

You'll be fine again, and then you go through another thing again

51:02

It's like that's what this life is about,

51:04

you know, is that we're gonna be tested but

51:07

how many of us are going to return? back

51:10

right and and I also want

51:13

to say

51:14

For people that really have slid

51:17

like really far Mm-hmm.

51:20

It doesn't it doesn't matter. It's

51:22

past

51:24

What matters is now and

51:26

in the future? so

51:28

if you've quit praying if you've started

51:32

using Intoxicants if you've

51:35

slept with somebody you shouldn't have slept with whatever

51:38

it is no matter don't think that

51:40

I

51:41

can't repent because you can

51:43

and Even

51:45

if you can't just

51:47

give up some of the bad things you're doing

51:50

Always always pray and you may feel

51:53

hypocritical in doing that, but that's the way

51:56

That you will turn back to Allah. I remember

51:58

so let's go back to

52:01

the sister whose husband Abu Bilal that

52:03

passed away. You know, she

52:05

was a scholar as well. And

52:08

she always told her children that, especially

52:10

as they grew up and went off to college in

52:12

other countries and knew the fitna

52:14

and all of that. And she just

52:16

told him,

52:18

it doesn't matter if

52:20

you struggle and face fitna, but never,

52:22

ever, ever give up your Salah. That's

52:26

really what kept me going. And like I said,

52:28

I felt all, you know,

52:30

like I was losing my faith, but

52:32

I never gave up the basic

52:35

principles. Just never give up the basic

52:37

principles. You can't expect yourself to change

52:39

overnight.

52:40

You know, Shaitan's happy.

52:42

He got you to go do those things.

52:46

But

52:47

this is the way to fight him.

52:48

Get back to the Salah.

52:50

The part that fascinates me about Abatullah

52:53

Betelley's story is that she

52:56

had did this incredible thing. She

53:00

had translated the Quran that we all

53:02

know and love, her translations, the

53:04

work that she did with Muhammad and Mary

53:06

Kennedy. And the

53:09

daunting part about it is that you just think,

53:11

okay, that's the story, right? When

53:14

we interviewed Abatullah, I thought that was a story.

53:17

I was like, that was it? You know, she did it. Like, it's

53:19

also her experience. But to hear about her afterlife,

53:22

coming back to America,

53:24

struggling to make ends

53:27

meet, you know, dealing with

53:29

the fear of homelessness, while also

53:31

being a single mom, I'm just

53:34

like thinking how could a person who did something like

53:36

this so big and

53:38

so beneficial to the Ummah could

53:41

be the same person that was struggling

53:43

like that? But like, it just

53:46

blew my mind. Like this contrast

53:48

of it. I was like, oh my God, Surpranullah. Like our life

53:50

is a lot longer than we imagined, you

53:53

know, you might do something really big. A

53:55

lot of my stuff I might, you know, give you an opportunity

53:57

to do something so massive.

53:59

It's like your journey doesn't end there. Your

54:02

journey ends when you die. Like it's just,

54:05

it's continuously going. Allah is always going

54:07

to test you. Like you're going to do something

54:10

and the thing that you did, he's going to test you with

54:12

and then you're going to be tested again. You get tested, be tested again.

54:14

And you might be 17. You've done like a million

54:16

things. You've overcome for a million

54:19

things. And it's just like, wow, like

54:21

all of these small moments are so

54:24

just a short part of her life. It's

54:26

like a small chapter of her life.

54:29

And it's like it also makes me reflect on the

54:31

beauty of like, what

54:33

is her whole story going to look like for Allah? You

54:37

know, what else is Allah going

54:39

to do? What, not even, you know what's interesting? What

54:42

if, you know, to us, she

54:44

did such a huge thing for the Ummah, but

54:47

imagine Allah Subhana Alayhi Wasallam loves her for something else

54:49

more. You know, like it just, it

54:52

makes you reflect on like, maybe it was

54:54

the way that she held onto the rope of Allah

54:57

that is so large in the sight of Allah. You

55:00

know, maybe it was those moments where she

55:02

was just trying to provide for her family,

55:05

even though she just kept sleeping in her car wherever

55:07

she could,

55:09

you know, but still holding

55:11

tight to her deen is what Allah

55:13

loved most. You know, in

55:15

my eyes, I'm like, wow, you know, I was

55:17

looking at more of a bit of a, like,

55:20

what is the biggest thing she did? But you know, sometimes I think

55:22

the smallest things in life

55:24

might mean more to Allah

55:27

because it shows how devoted we were when

55:29

things were bad. You know what I'm

55:31

saying? I'm to Allah, Baitley's, you know, when she tries to think

55:33

things were up for her then.

55:35

But like, it's really what attracted me to looking

55:37

at her and to find her as a person was when

55:39

things were bad, who is she?

55:42

Who is she when she was down bad? Who

55:45

is she when no one checked for her? Who

55:47

is she when she's just driving hours

55:49

back and forth by herself to

55:52

provide for her children? Who is she then?

55:55

When she was facing the fear of homelessness

55:57

in the face, who is she

55:59

then? And then that really

56:02

just makes me

56:04

look at her and just say, wow, I

56:09

want to be that kind of Muslim. That

56:12

no matter how large the things

56:15

I do or what other

56:17

people think of me, forget about what I do, what other

56:19

people think of me, the kind of person I am,

56:22

I hope that the moments that nobody sees

56:25

and only Allah knows is

56:28

what counts the most. That's

56:31

what really counts. It's the

56:33

stuff that people don't know.

56:35

It's the stuff that people don't know. I'm

56:39

getting chills thinking about it, but it really is the stuff

56:42

that people don't know. It's

56:44

those moments where you're crying alone

56:47

and you're pleading with Allah or you're struggling.

56:49

It's just people just know about it. The only person

56:51

I know is Allah

56:52

and who you are in those moments where nobody's looking.

56:57

It's the most powerful. This

57:00

episode is brought to you by Beautiful

57:02

Light Studios. Want to give a shout

57:04

out to producer Muhnishah Amal,

57:07

assistant producers Nima Haroun

57:09

Ikhwaya Vazid, graphic designer for

57:11

the one and only Wasimah Farah, and

57:13

to our marketing extraordinary Sosam Dallahi. Thank

57:16

you, Sis! I'll see you

57:18

guys next week in your ears,

57:21

in your speakers, telling you a good

57:23

story.

57:25

Wait a minute, wait a minute, wait a minute.

57:27

I got news for y'all. Don't,

57:29

don't, don't hang up. Don't leave me. Just

57:31

one second. Give me one minute. I have

57:33

incredible news. I

57:36

would like to announce that the

57:38

Digital Story Podcast, okay,

57:40

has been nominated for a

57:43

shorty award in the arts and

57:45

culture category. Okay, this

57:48

is a big deal. This is such a big deal.

57:50

Congratulations everyone to Beautiful Light Studios,

57:53

to the Digital Story team, to

57:55

you the listeners. Congratulations. This

57:57

is yours as well. This is a big W. We

57:59

have become a finalist. I think

58:01

there's six people who've been moved

58:04

to the next round finals in

58:06

the final round and now the jury's gonna vote

58:09

who wins the category. Now if you don't know what

58:11

a Shorty Awards is it's basically like the

58:13

MTV Awards podcasting.

58:17

Maybe even Oscars I don't know but it's a big

58:19

deal and I don't know how

58:22

many Muslims,

58:24

Muslim podcasts, I don't apologize

58:26

Muslim podcast, Muslim women, Muslim

58:28

women of color podcasts has ever won

58:31

the award never mind like been

58:33

nominated like I don't know I don't know we were

58:35

supposed to do we're actually gonna do our research but I don't I've

58:37

never heard of it so if there if there

58:39

is something out there that won then big tooth but

58:41

this is a big deal too for us Hamdulillah

58:44

and I'm so excited

58:47

to just even be nominated this is so insane

58:50

to me because it's only just

58:52

more clear how big

58:54

TDS is becoming how

58:57

massive we're becoming how mainstream we're becoming

58:59

and literally all we talk about

59:02

is Allah

59:03

the as

59:06

vibes like we just our faith

59:08

are just so unapologetically and

59:10

just without filter and here we are like

59:13

competing with the Game of Thrones podcast

59:15

competing with you know other podcasts

59:17

in big productions like Warner Bros, Apple

59:20

Originals, Audibles are you kidding me? Armistice

59:22

podcast is going

59:24

neck and neck with the Game of Thrones podcast. First of all this

59:26

is insane it's insane you should all

59:29

be proud of yourselves if you're listening you deserve a tap

59:31

on your back for listening and for being attentive

59:33

and for engaging bro like Hamdulillah

59:36

will lie Allah truly deserves all praise

59:39

and the way that like this podcast

59:41

Allah Mibaddik is just reaching

59:44

new levels that no other

59:46

pocket has ever done before is

59:49

truly something to reflect and marvel at

59:52

Allah Allah deserves all praise I

59:55

want to invite you guys to vote for us we also have

59:58

the opportunity of winning an award

59:59

It's called the Audient Honorary

1:00:02

Award. Not the actual award winning

1:00:04

for the category. The juries have to judge

1:00:06

for that. But we do an opportunity to win an

1:00:09

award as a, I guess like,

1:00:11

an Audience Impact

1:00:13

Award. Like, how, you know, engage our audience

1:00:15

is. So if you guys can get to vote for us. And

1:00:18

I guess depending on who has the most votes

1:00:20

wins. And I know all, like, million

1:00:22

of you

1:00:23

guys, okay. I don't

1:00:26

even know how many, at this point, how many listeners there are. There

1:00:28

are so many. If every single one of you guys

1:00:30

voted, we would literally just blow

1:00:33

the roof off the house. You

1:00:35

know, like literally, it would

1:00:37

shock everyone. And I want

1:00:39

to invite you guys to vote for us. If you go to our link tree,

1:00:42

okay, if you go to our Instagram, go to our link tree, or

1:00:44

even in a, if you're listening

1:00:46

to our podcast or Spotify, if you go

1:00:48

into the description, we'll have the link there for you guys to

1:00:50

vote for us. Or you can go on our Instagram,

1:00:52

check our link tree. It's

1:00:53

the first link that you see

1:00:55

that says vote for us. You can vote for us as many times as you

1:00:57

like. We

1:00:59

need to vote in by April 26, okay. Go

1:01:02

crazy. Go get your family to vote. Get

1:01:04

everybody to vote because, wow,

1:01:07

TDS, yes. It needs to be loud

1:01:09

and proud. Everybody needs to know we are unapologetically

1:01:11

Muslim, and we out here big, okay. So

1:01:15

go ahead and vote. Get your mama to vote. Get

1:01:17

your auntie to vote. Get your neighbor to vote. Get everybody

1:01:19

to vote. Everybody has to come out and vote for

1:01:22

the

1:01:22

culture. Vote for the culture because it's iconic,

1:01:24

man. It's iconic. And

1:01:28

again, congratulations to

1:01:30

Beautiful Light House, Beautiful Light Studios,

1:01:33

the digital story team, and to you, the listeners.

1:01:36

Y'all did this. Allah did this. Hamdulillah.

1:01:39

And he deserves all praise. So go ahead and vote. And

1:01:42

let's see Hamdulillah. Let's see inshallah. Hopefully we

1:01:44

can beat our games with our hearts. Hopefully inshallah.

1:01:47

But anyway, JazakAllah. Okay, guys. Saamalikum.

1:01:49

Love you.