0:00

It

0:05

is your sister and your home girl

0:07

and your friend and your bestie.

0:09

whatever you

0:11

want to add it there that I am to

0:14

you and you're listening to the

0:16

digital sisterhood podcast. So

0:19

fun fact y'all, before was a smashing

0:21

international top charting podcast

0:24

host, I was a worry

0:26

for justice hear you already hear y'all.

0:29

I was the most intense kind too. I'm not gonna

0:31

lie. Part of me only got more intense

0:33

too when I started to practice my faith because

0:36

Islam At the root of

0:38

it was about the protection and the preservation

0:40

of human dignity and justice. But

0:42

really to put it in plain terms, y'all, to keep it

0:44

real simple, I just really hated bullies. I

0:47

mean, like, with a passion. I couldn't stand them.

0:49

So much so in university, believe it or not.

0:51

I took in my final year. Yeah.

0:53

Okay? This is what it in my second, It wasn't

0:55

my third, but in my final year when grades

0:57

counted. I took a failing

1:00

grade because I refused to apologize

1:02

to a professor who blamed me

1:05

and other students for refusing

1:07

to accept her problematic Islamic

1:09

views because I was it was it was in my, like,

1:11

Islamic Human Rights in Islamic Theory class.

1:13

And remember the advice somebody gave me was,

1:15

oh, this is your final year. Just

1:18

go apologize and get that grade that you deserve

1:20

because that fight, that

1:22

argument is not gonna matter in a few years'

1:25

time. But to be honest, it did

1:27

matter to me. I wasn't

1:29

going to fall back on something

1:31

that I knew was right just because I

1:33

needed a grade. I just couldn't it didn't sit with me.

1:35

And so I took the failing grade

1:38

to the chest. Although taking

1:40

hit on my final grace probably wasn't the

1:42

most smartest thing as an eldest first

1:44

generation girl, But

1:46

I do what I have to do. But if you

1:48

wanna talk about advocacy, right? If you wanna talk

1:50

about fighting, you wanna talk about, like, standing

1:52

to what you believe in, Let me tell you

1:55

a story about a girl named Yasmeen.

1:58

Yasmeen's family did the great migration

2:01

to Minnesota when she was three years old with

2:03

eight of her siblings. Her mom was just

2:05

like gentle, soul, soft, and

2:07

loving, but her dad was quite the opposite.

2:10

who was all about surviving this cold war

2:12

called life. He believed

2:14

that full time school was

2:16

day care and that real school

2:19

start when they came home. He was

2:21

the youngest of his family. My

2:23

girl grew him up to be

2:26

in a sense of having your own

2:28

and coming someone. And she

2:30

didn't go to school. She basically was

2:34

working at a sugar factory, and the sugar

2:36

factory stopped. So

2:38

they're very living in a very

2:40

poor state. So they

2:42

would only have, like, a meal a day. They're lucky

2:44

to find a meal. Mhmm. So, but

2:46

he would tell his stories about during

2:49

how kids would have shoes and everything. He would

2:51

stand in the corner. And he

2:54

just wonder, like, oh, I cannot eat

2:56

like that. You know, I want and then he

2:58

started to gain a sense of when my kids

3:00

grow up, I want to be able to provide

3:03

for them and still good things in them. I

3:05

don't want them to live in the same way

3:07

that I did, in the same, like, pains

3:09

that I've lived through. You know? and

3:12

he used to read the dictionary. And then

3:15

he he would have us read the dictionary too, but

3:17

I was like, he can't do that.

3:19

So he would read the dictionary. He's a top

3:21

student in every, like,

3:24

grade, but he just didn't have the funds

3:26

to fully accomplished everything

3:28

you wanted. But Hamedullah, one of his

3:30

uncles supported him and

3:32

he got out of college and

3:35

he was an English and math

3:37

teacher and opened up his own private

3:39

school. Wow. And he got his

3:41

own private school there, so he was a teacher.

3:43

So I meet all his students.

3:46

They're like, oh, your dad was our teacher.

3:48

You can't even move your neck. You have to pay

3:50

attention and everything.

3:52

So

3:53

you can imagine, this means dad

3:55

had doors after doors

3:58

after doors closed on him.

4:00

But he would be jammed

4:02

if doors were gonna be closed on his kids.

4:05

And so he made sure that

4:07

his kids believed in

4:09

themselves. he was persistent and

4:11

he was intentional about teaching

4:14

Yasmeen to be confident

4:16

in who she is. confident in the

4:18

way that she learned, confident

4:21

about the things that she wants to pursue.

4:23

The funny part of this part is is

4:25

that I mean, you raised just that. You're

4:27

speaking with this confident and

4:30

like, I know what I want. I know what I'm

4:32

gonna do. Kid, so much

4:34

so that in the fourth grade. Yeah. He

4:36

came to talk to her about something that

4:38

happened. And Yasmeen, well,

4:41

she stood up for herself.

4:42

So going into fourth grade, I

4:45

remember we're going on a filter, and

4:47

it was roller garden. and

4:50

I've never been to a roller garden

4:52

ever. And my friend is like, oh, you

4:54

know, yes, me and your dad. It's gonna it's

4:56

gonna go under the skates. And

4:58

I had no idea. I'm like, I I can't get

5:00

injured. You know? So I was like,

5:02

so what do I do? And she's like, oh, just put a

5:04

comma on. And I was thinking,

5:05

Oh, no. We don't do that at all.

5:08

We we can't put a coupon on. And then

5:10

I was like, okay. Maybe one time for the one

5:12

time just for the cause. Let me just

5:14

put it in my bag. Yeah. Yeah.

5:16

Then I went home and then my

5:18

parents are just sitting there. And my

5:20

parents are ones where they wanna talk

5:22

everything out for five hours, they'll tell you

5:24

about their childhood. So I'm

5:26

trying to go through my mind. And

5:28

then my dad goes,

5:30

open up your bag. Immediately, I knew.

5:32

I

5:34

knew what I did. And

5:37

then I I sat there and I said, Avaho,

5:40

So I'm I wanna tell you one thing,

5:42

and I I hope you don't take this offense.

5:44

But I wear the head to Africa, and I

5:46

really wanna wear it for Ile, I don't

5:48

wanna lie to you and wear it

5:50

for you even though I am

5:52

very grateful that you taught me to

5:54

end up, but I don't wanna have this notion

5:56

of I'm always gonna get mad if

5:58

I don't wear the hedgehog the right way. So I just

6:00

always wanna keep the I wear it for

6:02

Eli and I was a little kid now that I imagine

6:04

that I was in fourth grade. So

6:07

Fourth grade, you're talking like that. Fourth grade is talking like

6:09

that. And my dad just respected it. So

6:11

whenever I wanted to wear the hat come out or whenever

6:13

I wanted to wear the hat, he

6:15

let me do what I wanted to do. Mhmm. because

6:17

he knew she she knows at

6:19

least why she's doing

6:19

what she's doing.

6:21

Riddle me this

6:22

homework. Is it practice

6:25

mix perfect? Or are we

6:27

teaching our kids to second guests themselves?

6:31

Well, for Yasmeen and many students like

6:33

her, it was the latter. Yasmeen

6:35

didn't see the point in doing something over

6:38

and over and over again.

6:40

it made school my numbingly

6:43

dull and it caused their grades to slip.

6:45

What I experienced was it's a lot

6:47

of busy work. It's like you have

6:49

to just do this homework. Do this.

6:51

Do that. It's not like and I was a

6:53

very creative person. Like, I loved art.

6:55

I loved creativity. So it wasn't very

6:57

intriguing to me. And I was a

6:59

bit of a rebel too. So if I didn't like

7:01

something, I'm not doing it. You're not doing it.

7:03

So when I came to homework, I got it the

7:06

first two problems. I don't have to I

7:08

don't have to do thirty six. to

7:12

that's at that point, you're I'm not

7:14

doing this. I would literally they're out high

7:16

school even. I would not do my

7:18

homework. And then my teachers would sit there

7:20

and they'd be like, Yes. I mean, like,

7:22

your your exams are, like, you're getting

7:24

b's and a's. What's going on in

7:26

this department? I'm like, I just don't believe

7:28

in homework.

7:30

Yeah. So I think

7:32

it's maybe because even Aboyes

7:34

to teach us at home -- Mhmm. -- and his learning

7:36

style is a lot different than the schools.

7:39

Wow. So if you got these problems, we're

7:41

moving on to the next subject. We're

7:43

moving on to the next level. So it wasn't we're

7:45

just gonna sit here and continue doing the

7:47

same thing if you got it. So

7:49

I had one teacher that believed in me.

7:51

He believed in me so

7:53

much that he knew that I wasn't

7:55

doing it just out of, like, like,

7:57

laziness or anything. He's just like, okay,

7:59

this is how you work and this is

8:01

how you like your learning style. He went

8:03

to all my teachers and had them

8:05

take away the homework section.

8:07

Wow. He did that. Yeah. And he's like, if she

8:09

does well in her exams and

8:12

we can hone it down to a couple of

8:14

hallmarks and that's it. Like,

8:15

she's not doing any any more than that.

8:17

So that's how I got to pass. So I

8:19

was struggling throughout high school of just

8:21

finding myself and not

8:23

wanting to fit in into a system

8:25

that was built for me, you know. And

8:28

I remember the

8:30

moment that I chose what career I

8:32

went, was the day that right

8:34

before that teacher came, I was

8:36

failing everything. And I was trying to have

8:38

everyone do my homework and I was

8:40

balling because there's no way, like,

8:42

everyone's gonna help me finish all of this, you

8:44

know. So I went into a closet and

8:46

I was, like, crying so much.

8:48

And I was, like, okay. Yes. I mean, like,

8:50

why are you crying? Like, I self

8:52

talk. And I was like, okay. I'm crying because I couldn't

8:54

get this done. Why? What does this

8:56

mean to you then? Why do you have to get

8:58

this done? so I better education. So

9:00

I was like, okay. And I started following

9:02

the path. Okay. If you get a better education,

9:04

what are you trying to do? Oh, I just and

9:06

I was listening to myself and seeing

9:08

that I was still following the system.

9:10

Mhmm. And it was not, like, filling

9:13

the void in me. Mhmm. And I was, like, yes.

9:15

I mean, how about this? Like, how about

9:17

we decide our career right now?

9:19

Like, that's

9:19

when I was in tenth grade. Wow.

9:22

And I was like, so

9:24

what do you wanna do

9:26

in this earth. Let's just say,

9:29

everything went to samples and it was

9:31

k i. And, like,

9:33

money's not involved, nothing's involved. like,

9:35

what do you wanna do? And we'll just follow

9:37

this purpose. And I told

9:39

myself, I just wanna help other people.

9:41

Mhmm. No no matter what I'm

9:43

doing, if I'm helping other people I'm

9:45

good. So that's when I

9:47

started thinking into going into

9:50

healthcare. And so whatever

9:52

career I chose so long as it was providing

9:54

me that purpose. I

9:56

knew I was I was okay. Mhmm.

9:58

So then I told myself, you know what?

9:59

Then you're gonna have a

10:02

path of, like, This is what you're

10:04

gonna do next. This is this is

10:05

how you're gonna accomplish things. Like, I'm

10:07

gonna be my number one supporter.

10:10

At eighteen trying to find a career

10:12

you want to do for the rest of your life can be

10:14

daunting a little bit. Yeah.

10:16

Eighteen. Figure out your whole life. Sounds a little impossible

10:18

to me. and just me had just,

10:20

like, finished high school with flying

10:22

colors and was ready for the next chapter.

10:25

But before she could take that leap,

10:27

She had to make the tough decision of finding what exactly

10:29

she wanted to do. She

10:31

knew that she wanted to help others. That

10:33

was her bread and butter. Handrilla,

10:36

thankfully, ismi's dad

10:38

had just the right idea.

10:40

So Apple came to me one

10:43

day And he was like, oh, why don't you do

10:45

respiratory? And I was like, respiratory.

10:47

What's that? And then, oh, he's like, oh,

10:49

you work with life support and stuff,

10:51

and like life support. And

10:51

I was like, oh, yeah,

10:53

we're not doing that. Awesome.

10:55

It's like something else. No. We're not

10:57

doing that. No. I actually see you doing

10:59

respiratory. I was like, you'll never see me doing

11:01

that. I've literally told him that he's like,

11:03

how about this? How about you just apply to

11:05

what you want? and apply to this program

11:07

and see how things unfold. And I was

11:09

like, okay. I just did it just I was

11:11

like, I'm not getting into this. I'm -- Mhmm. -- I

11:13

barely put any effort and time into

11:15

it. And for the respiratory program,

11:17

you have to do like a

11:20

tour around the hospital of an RT

11:22

to see if you really like doing

11:24

this career and how a day in the life of

11:26

an RT is. RT is just for

11:28

short for respiratory. So

11:31

so I took a tour and actually

11:33

loved it. And I was like, wow.

11:35

What did you love? I

11:37

love that even

11:39

though the first room we went into was

11:41

a patient with life support machine, it

11:43

kinda scared me at first. And then just

11:46

seeing the family and how

11:48

they were super intrigued with the respiratory

11:50

therapist and how much hope they had in the

11:52

respiratory therapy us in helping their

11:54

family member. Mhmm. And it kind

11:56

of almost fit into what my purpose

11:58

was. Mhmm. I got into the

12:00

program at Haendarila. And then

12:02

soon enough, we started going into the respiratory

12:04

program, and I was a bit of an I

12:06

was an introvert. Mhmm. You know, I

12:08

would go into class have my

12:10

backpack there. And as soon as this time to

12:12

go, I'm running out the door. You know?

12:14

I had a different learning style, so I would record

12:16

my teacher and just sit there and try to gain

12:18

everything. Mhmm. And then later on,

12:20

write everything down. Mhmm.

12:22

Read listen to everything and write it word

12:24

for word, and then just read it off.

12:26

and then I'll just go to the exam. Oh,

12:29

wow. Wait. I never touched the text. So

12:31

wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. You will literally

12:33

work so you will listen to

12:35

the professor. you would record it --

12:37

Yes. -- then you go home, take notes of the

12:39

word for word that you prefer. Yes. And

12:41

then close the book and say average for exam.

12:43

Yep. And then the exam day, I

12:45

have to go to a separate room as everybody's

12:47

waiting for the exam and I would put hold on in

12:49

my ears and I did not want

12:51

anyone getting me anxious. I was just pulling

12:53

hold on to my ears and I would not look at it as

12:55

single textbook or anything. And I was

12:57

just until it's time to take

12:59

the test and they'll go to the room and I'll take

13:01

the test. You hadn't gave time

13:03

to show up. You don't you don't

13:05

football players? You don't because I give

13:07

them the time. Yeah. The winning of a game is all

13:09

about the mindset. A lot of people

13:11

think it's a lot to do with skills. Mhmm.

13:13

You could be the most skillful athlete

13:15

in the world. If you're braining it

13:17

right, you're not hitting those basketball. Sure.

13:19

But So it's crazy that you said, Kate Gates, I put

13:21

the hold on on. You're not looking at

13:23

anybody. You know, if you're the person that's shaking

13:25

their their right leg, you're not looking at

13:27

the girl, walk you up and down the hallway

13:29

way for the exam to start. You're just really looking

13:31

and you're just listening and you're just going

13:33

at. As your environment is very

13:35

important, you know, and a

13:37

teacher when I was in middle school

13:39

taught me about that. Mhmm. She

13:41

would just close the lights,

13:43

dim the lights, and then

13:45

open the ends up and then make sure your

13:47

environment is super comfortable for you.

13:49

Mhmm. So she always taught taught me

13:51

that you are what your environment

13:53

is. So your mind is what

13:55

your environment is, and I'm super heavy

13:57

on that. So the first time we took

13:59

the exam for the

13:59

respiratory program,

14:00

everybody was psyching each other out.

14:03

all sixty percent of students

14:05

fail, the first exam, and all of that.

14:07

And I cycled myself out actually for

14:09

the first exam, and I did

14:11

not pass. Wow. And I was like,

14:13

okay. Yes, I mean, the reason why you did not pass

14:15

is you kept telling yourself you're not

14:17

passing. And therefore, the

14:19

results are, you're not passing. Yeah.

14:22

So so what I did was

14:24

because you get to retake the exam. So I

14:26

retook the exam, super calm, told

14:28

myself you're gonna pass this time, and

14:30

just took everything very lightly and I passed

14:32

it, handed it to that. Wow.

14:34

So ever after that, I was like,

14:36

no. We're not answering questions.

14:38

Friends were the

14:40

exam. We're not doing nothing.

14:42

Anybody anxious or don't

14:44

want no negative energy. I just want,

14:46

like, hold on, myself, and just because

14:48

I know what it is. You had this confidence. You

14:51

knew what you need to do. Sometimes

14:53

I'll be real. Being a student

14:55

is actually quite difficult. Mhmm.

14:57

Because you don't know who you are. You don't know your learning

14:59

style either. Mhmm. But you you there's a

15:01

standard. Right? They say, okay. This

15:03

is how you should do it. Mhmm. And

15:05

you're guaranteed to do well.

15:07

But the reality is is is not

15:09

the truth. You could do exactly how you're

15:11

told and still fail. That's true. And

15:13

what does that do to our morale bro? Can you

15:15

imagine, like, what I did to my psyche? I

15:17

said, maybe I'm just dumb. I know. You're right.

15:19

Is that those are the only responses

15:21

because, you know, you talk about self talk.

15:23

Yes. I do that too. Yes.

15:25

Right? That's right. But something is going bad. I can't talk

15:27

to anybody. I have to talk to myself. Like, I haven't been

15:29

approximating myself. Yeah. I'm like, what

15:32

do you think? you just wanna hear yourself. There's

15:34

so many thoughts happening. Yeah. And some of the

15:36

voices you hear your head are not all yours. That is

15:38

you know what I'm saying? Yeah. And so I tried

15:40

to look at myself like, hey, what's you? What's

15:42

not? But I had a

15:44

hard time with school because I was trying

15:46

to do I was trying to learn somebody else's

15:48

way. Oh. And when I failed, I thought it was

15:50

my own. Oh, yeah. And that is a

15:52

problem. It's, like, it's not authentic. It's

15:54

not real. Everyone is different. Mhmm. How they

15:56

learn is different. Yeah. And Instead,

15:58

we should be encouraging everybody to find out how do

16:00

you learn? That's true. How what is your game,

16:02

Tyria, she will? Yes. What gets you from

16:04

one end to another? Let me not give you the

16:06

standard because we're done with that. Right?

16:08

And I know we could talk about this in the medical world

16:10

because the the standard, right, that they

16:12

had for black people. Right?

16:14

Yeah. Was What was it? It was

16:16

racist. That's right? And it was never accurate to

16:18

the actual human. But that's what

16:20

life is about. Right? A bunch of people telling

16:22

you this is the standard. but it wasn't

16:24

made for you.

16:24

It was made for a different

16:26

type of group of people. Yes. Right? Yes.

16:28

But was I woke then? You know,

16:30

the entire experience my heart

16:32

was broken. I

16:33

Right. Really just It'd be broken.

16:35

Over. Yeah. Over

16:37

and over in guilt tripped. Yeah.

16:39

And when you find a new style of learning,

16:42

you send guilt of yourself, like, oh,

16:44

everyone's studying in groups. Yeah. Like and

16:46

then you feel guilty of saying, oh, I don't wanna

16:48

study with you guys. Let me

16:50

study on my own. Like, actually

16:52

advocating for yourself, you start to feel

16:54

guilty. So I was

16:56

the one that would

16:58

advocate for myself. I'm like, Awesome. I'm a bit

17:01

weird, but this is how I do that.

17:03

But I

17:05

like to learn things on my own, but

17:07

I love to teach people. That's how

17:09

I learn too. So I was like,

17:11

on review day, we can do I can come

17:13

on a review day, and I can

17:15

go on the support. It was basically the

17:17

whiteboard and then start writing and

17:20

teaching. then you guys can ask me questions. And

17:22

then if you're comfortable with that, and then we can

17:24

roll that way. And everybody's super comfortable. They loved

17:26

the way that I taught. Yeah. So

17:29

So I would study on my own and just do a

17:31

one day review day with everyone, and that was it.

17:33

That's amazing. But it's and you

17:35

have to learn that it's okay. It's

17:37

okay that you have a different learning style. It's

17:39

not a bad thing. You have

17:41

to just own up to who

17:43

you are and what your legs are and stick with

17:45

it and not kind of like guilt trip yourself in

17:47

a sense. You know? I have this

17:49

methodology of, like, if you were

17:51

to put a six write

17:53

a six down. Like, it's a six for me, but

17:55

it's a nine for you. Mhmm. It's all

17:57

about our experiences. You're not wrong.

17:59

First

17:59

of all,

18:01

almost start saying that everywhere now. A

18:04

while, if it's a six for you, it's a nine

18:05

for me. anybody

18:09

that disagrees with

18:12

me, bibes. There's two numbers on the

18:14

slide. There's a six and a nine. Which one do

18:16

you see? I see it in Ibro. And I

18:18

know you talked to your six. Guess

18:20

what?

18:20

I love that. Guys, listeners

18:22

are listening. If you're ever in a place of

18:24

contention, and somebody says to

18:26

you, why do you think like that? Baved. UC

18:28

six, IC nine, what's the problem?

18:30

That's the score. Bart got off

18:32

peak yesterday. Now we got a new slogan for the tow

18:34

bag. Thank you. Coming soon

18:37

this fall. It's it's the

18:39

sixth, but it's a night for me,

18:41

babe. Let's see.

18:44

We saw

18:47

that from you, Baja. If you saw a top back, don't

18:49

be shocked the girl. coming this

18:51

ball away. It's coming

18:52

this ball. It's a six figure, a nine

18:54

for me, baby. That's the cool.

19:00

Well, I respect me respectfully. Right?

19:02

Or respectfully. because it gives room

19:04

for, like,

19:05

in the space or

19:07

everyone to have their own opinion. Absolutely. There's

19:09

seven million different human beings in this

19:11

earth. Like, we all don't need to

19:13

think exactly the same way. Like, if we're getting

19:15

to the same goal but in different ways, I'm gonna lie.

19:17

I just respect everyone's like, you know what I mean,

19:20

ways, but I think the reason why

19:22

that methodology even came about is

19:24

in healthcare, if

19:26

you're super quiet, it's like,

19:28

you're not you're if you're

19:30

not ongoing, if you're because they critique

19:32

you on clinicals, you know. the critique that I was

19:34

you don't talk to the other

19:37

artists and you're

19:40

very, like, shy

19:42

in order to be the best

19:45

RT or the best student. You have to be

19:47

outgoing. You have to just you know,

19:49

I don't know. That wasn't me. And I was

19:51

struggling with it. because I would be in clinicals and

19:53

I would try to do something that wasn't me. Like,

19:55

oh, how are you? That that wasn't me.

19:57

Like, I can say, like, calmly.

19:59

Like, once I get comfortable with the resounding, how are

20:01

you? Good. I'm not gonna be overly,

20:03

like, running and dashing. Like,

20:05

that's not that wasn't me. And that that's

20:07

what they expected you to do.

20:09

Like, And I was kind of an observer

20:11

too. Mhmm. So I would I love

20:13

to learn with, like, seeing things. So

20:15

I would be I would be super quiet

20:17

in just learning that way. But

20:19

if you don't ask enough questions or

20:22

you're, like, not on top of it, it's

20:24

like, you're not you're getting

20:26

points deducted. So I, like,

20:28

struggled a lot in trying to

20:30

refine myself again going through

20:32

as a student in health care, you

20:34

know. Wow. because there was a norm

20:36

what our RT look like. Yes. And you

20:38

weren't that? And you were like, what I

20:41

can't do this. Yeah. Like, you know, I signed

20:43

I signed up to to do meaningful work. Yeah.

20:45

And now you guys want me to

20:47

be, like, a TV

20:49

host every asking questions every day. You

20:51

know? Like, You know? And that's

20:53

so problematic. You know what I mean?

20:55

That's so difficult because no one is the

20:57

same. Why figure is all but there's box of camp fit

20:59

in here. That's true. Let's see.

21:01

Although Yasmeen had finally figured herself

21:04

out, racism like it

21:06

usually does still stood in her way.

21:08

BlueJeans mean, she didn't just experience

21:11

racism. She experienced racism

21:13

and all of its friends.

21:15

I'm talking about xenophobia. I'm

21:17

talking about slabophobia. I'm talking about

21:19

anti blackness. I'm talking about

21:22

sexism. Yes, mean, was in

21:24

the middle of the biggest family

21:26

tree. And it's not the foundry we all wanna

21:28

be chilling at or heading to their cookout.

21:30

But here, yes, mean was, being

21:32

maybe the food at this cookout,

21:34

I don't know. but it plagued her college experience.

21:37

Actually, in her clinical simulation class,

21:39

let me tell you, her professor

21:42

Gabriel see because of of a minor

21:44

grammatical error. And

21:46

being the ambitious student that

21:48

Yasmeen is, she asked a

21:50

professor how she can approve. And

21:52

let me tell you, just

21:54

just guess what this

21:56

professor said. Where I just cook out? What do

21:58

you what do you think we Which

21:59

which cousins woke up first?

22:02

And she's like, yes, ma'am. If

22:04

I were you, I would stay at my

22:06

level. You're lying.

22:07

And I said, okay. You're

22:10

lying. Oh, no. You're lying.

22:12

Yeah. She told you. Yeah. Nexstar

22:14

for you. She said, just I know I love

22:16

staying on your level. Yeah. I love trying to go

22:18

up.

22:19

Oh, my I was

22:21

not expecting to do this. And I

22:23

was like, okay. And it went from that

22:26

to having issues of asking for

22:28

prayer because exam time

22:30

in the prayer time, were

22:32

overlapping and you would have to ask and she had

22:34

issues with that. And

22:37

prayer during clinicals that

22:39

was becoming an issue. Usware, you cannot make

22:43

this up. And if you think this

22:45

blood, yes, mees blood, I

22:48

imagine what happened when her

22:50

Ababa found out. So

22:52

I told Aba, and I was like,

22:54

okay, this is not okay. I'm

22:56

coming to your school. Mhmm. I'm like,

22:57

okay.

22:58

Your dad came down there. And my dad came down

23:00

there. And your your clinical progress.

23:03

Okay. And then we

23:05

talked to the head

23:08

of the program. Okay. And he sat him down

23:10

and he's my my dad is an English teacher. So

23:12

he literally took the paper and he edited it

23:15

himself. He

23:17

took the paper. He took the paper. He took his red

23:19

pen. He started editing it life.

23:22

Yep. This is how I would have marked -- Yes. --

23:24

this -- Yes. -- to the director of

23:26

your program. To the director of my program. I might not

23:28

need to die as a lawyer. Do you

23:29

have his number? I can't remember.

23:33

Not even not remember. Your

23:37

father

23:37

is basically NASA Mandela. Oh my

23:39

god.

23:39

Abdi. Abdi didn't

23:42

pay it. And then

23:42

he he went on to tell him that

23:46

so he said, even if

23:48

you were to say anything, this is where she could

23:50

have went wrong. He would let me know, like, he's

23:52

not just gonna open it. Yeah. He's like, I don't like my

23:54

daughter that much. I'll tell you again. She's right

23:56

right now. I've

23:58

done what? At the end of the day, he's like,

24:00

what you're doing is not correct. And he and

24:02

then he kinda, like, almost, like, threatens him

24:05

with, like, you can lose your job over those.

24:07

Yeah. You know what I mean? Like, don't try this

24:09

again. He

24:09

was he was he was bringing out his inner

24:12

carrot. I will have

24:14

you fight. You could lose your

24:16

entire life. One percent is

24:18

what I would say to them. From

24:20

that on, I was not bothered.

24:22

I was

24:23

not bothered. And they kept calling

24:26

the director, my grandpa

24:28

because he would always catered to me after that.

24:30

Yeah. because he knew Apple. Oh, wow.

24:32

He's like, don't mess with her. No.

24:34

He did that throughout schooling, and he

24:36

would stand up for us even if they tell us that

24:38

we're soft spoken or were

24:40

very, like, shy. No. He

24:42

would not allow that type of mentality

24:44

to even get to us because it was almost used as

24:46

a way push you down -- Mhmm. -- you know,

24:48

in school. So he's like, no. He knew. She

24:50

she she talks a lot at home? No.

24:54

don't tell me that. So and

24:56

how many You're not gonna use these labels?

24:58

Yeah.

24:58

And then not are not real. basically.

25:02

So I'll handle leopard avo. As soon

25:04

as I saw that, it kinda, like, almost

25:06

gave me the sense of confidence. Like, above

25:08

is there rooting for you? So you're you're good.

25:10

You're good. You know what I mean? So the saga

25:13

of racism, or should I

25:15

say, the cookout continues.

25:17

And so did the audacity

25:19

This means women's reflective glass.

25:21

Okay. So women's

25:23

reflective glass. The

25:25

professor made a comment that once again,

25:27

I could not make up.

25:29

I remember the first day of class. She told

25:31

us, oh, I'm gonna teach you guys how

25:33

to be strong independent women

25:36

so you don't join stuff like

25:38

ISIS. Yes. And

25:40

mind you is just me and another

25:43

fellow, some other girl in the class. Their whole

25:45

class is just white. point.

25:47

So it's like we're we're we're we're we're we're we're

25:49

we're getting here. You know what I mean?

25:52

So I was shocked. And then

25:55

later on, there's more and more stories of her

25:57

just giving me bad grades.

25:59

And she's just like, oh, I didn't like the

26:01

word you used. you

26:03

could have used this word. I'm like, that's

26:05

your synonym. This is

26:06

my synonym. So

26:09

I'm like, I have

26:12

the statement. You saw you wrote a six that she saw

26:14

a nine.

26:19

That was

26:20

the problem. That was the

26:22

problem. You saw six. She

26:25

saw that I didn't like her

26:28

six. They are probably six

26:30

you don't like sixes. No. She

26:32

is stuck for a while.

26:34

Okay? Oh, right. At this point, she's

26:36

saw zero. Let's be real. At this

26:39

point, right? And then

26:41

we go into, like,

26:43

all the students are now saying more and more

26:45

stories of how they enter had

26:47

racist interactions with the teacher. And I

26:49

had a specific interaction where she

26:52

just did not like how

26:54

Like, I kind of gathered all the students, the ones who are having the

26:56

same issue. No. You're right.

26:58

value people. Right? We're gonna report

27:01

you. the

27:02

introvert. The introvert

27:04

and the Sashbucket girl

27:06

rallied everyone to say, we cannot

27:08

accept his behavior. Yeah. The quiet one.

27:10

Right? The one that people that will prototype lead, see as

27:12

a leader, rallied everyone and said,

27:15

you know, we're going to

27:17

report. that's why we're here tonight

27:19

in this basement in You

27:22

know? Basically I mean, we paid way too

27:24

much money too. Oh, yeah. It's not

27:26

like it's like a public school. It's a private

27:28

school. We pay way too much money to be dealing

27:30

with, like, you know what I mean, on top of

27:32

that. So I was leaving

27:34

class and then she I cannot remember

27:36

exactly what conversation or, like,

27:38

back and forth we're having. And she

27:40

was, like, kind of, like, aggressive in

27:42

a sense of, like, kind of, like,

27:45

like, overpowering me to the point where my back was

27:47

pushed against the wall and she's very close

27:49

to me. And I was

27:52

like, Like, at this point, she

27:54

tried to square up. Because she knew at this

27:56

point, we're we're reporting her. Oh, so

27:58

she knew -- Yes. She knew. -- she wanted to

28:00

threaten you. She's just against the fact of

28:02

how dare you call her braces. Yeah.

28:06

And I was like, I'm not having it.

28:08

So what she did was as soon as we

28:10

got to meeting the department

28:14

heads about these situations, she

28:16

went and started grading the students. So

28:18

come midterms, she gave everyone a's.

28:21

She gave everyone a's, and then

28:23

she gave me a c. she gave

28:25

me, like, a c plus. She gave me a

28:27

c plus. And I I did not have

28:29

a c plus at an f based on her

28:32

grading

28:32

style.

28:33

So she gave me a c plus just to tell

28:35

me, hey, I'm letting you

28:37

pass. So just keep it down.

28:39

Yeah. she gave

28:41

her She's saying, I woulda gave you an app.

28:43

And I could still give you an app. Yes. So

28:45

that's when we lost a lot of students

28:47

that are advocating. because they're like, oh, I'm

28:49

good now. Yeah. So And

28:52

she

28:52

got you, bro. She made you lose your

28:55

people. She's

28:55

like, I didn't say these these people want a

28:57

name. I know. And then I was like, nope.

28:59

I went to another department. I

29:01

was like, okay. This is the issues you're having. And

29:03

then as they're going through the stories,

29:06

they're like, Okay. So, she

29:08

had you pass. Are

29:09

you still advocating? Like, I just

29:11

I'm just curious.

29:14

So They told you accept your seat and shut

29:16

up, basically. And I told them there

29:18

is no way that you're gonna control me

29:20

over a great because at the end

29:22

of the day, Like, not everyone

29:24

can speak up for themselves. And I don't

29:26

want someone else coming after me dealing

29:29

with the same issues. And I just left with

29:31

my passing, and I I moved on

29:33

with it. If it person speaking up and then

29:35

changing this, I'd rather do that.

29:37

Not everyone can speak up. It's very

29:39

hard. It sounds easy,

29:41

but it's it's not easy at all. You know,

29:43

you have to take the punches after you sweep up,

29:45

you know. Mhmm. So

29:48

she got taken out. So as soon

29:50

as we started the next semester, I met up with

29:53

the the heads in of that department, and

29:55

they said she no longer teaches

29:57

that course. Yasmin is

29:59

finally done with their

30:01

horrible college experience. And

30:03

her hard work

30:03

paid off. I mean, she survived the

30:06

cookout. Right? She

30:07

landed three internships at

30:09

three different hospitals. It's

30:12

mean chose a hospital she believes have the

30:14

most diverse path and patients.

30:16

We

30:17

love and optimist. I

30:19

mean, this is healthcare after all. You

30:21

was wrong. This is about healing. Right?

30:24

This is about people. This is about the greater

30:26

good, what possibly could

30:28

go wrong? You're seeing

30:30

people sick and everything like you have to have

30:32

a soft sorry. Yeah. Like, to be

30:34

able to do that. So there's no way

30:36

that you

30:36

can be so cold in that environment. And

30:38

then I had

30:39

a rude awakening, you

30:42

know. So we go

30:44

in and then the first things, we we

30:46

start hearing, like, little tiny, like,

30:48

whispers of racism, like,

30:50

them not getting our names correct.

30:52

And saying, oh, it doesn't matter. They're just

30:54

a new student. They're just new. Like,

30:56

they would get all of our names mixed

30:59

up. And they'll just call us

31:01

RT from then on at first, they're

31:03

just getting our names wrong. And then it went

31:05

to giving us way

31:07

heavier assignments than our our white

31:09

coworkers. Like, we would

31:11

have this much area, this much patience to

31:13

cover, and they have just like, we would have

31:15

the amount of two to three people and they

31:17

just have tiny amount. And

31:19

at first, I was just, like, everyone's just,

31:21

like, just bug it out. Just do it. And

31:23

I'm, like, okay. I'm thung it out, but that gives

31:25

me limited time to see my patients.

31:28

Like, them being racist to me just

31:30

doesn't affect just yes to me now. It

31:32

affects my patient care. You

31:34

know? So if I can't see all

31:36

my patients, it's everyone's getting very minimal

31:38

treatments, you know. Wow. Wow. So and

31:40

then there's more room for error.

31:42

You're not getting trained trained

31:44

adequately. We have to ask

31:46

and repeat and keep, like, saying,

31:48

like, I'm not doing this unless you properly train

31:51

me. And everyone's, like, oh,

31:53

just yes. I mean, don't be, like,

31:55

difficult. You know? just do it. And if you have

31:57

questions, just ask us. But at the end of the

31:59

day, like, my license is on the

32:01

line. You know? If

32:03

I just like, bug it out just because I

32:05

don't wanna annoy them. And

32:07

then I get in trouble, they will not

32:09

spare me a second. I will not be

32:11

spared. You know? So

32:13

I would always hone in on, I'm

32:15

not doing this. And then they got to a

32:17

tactic of they would give it to your

32:19

friend instead sleep

32:21

So now it's like Are you able to share

32:23

it to your friend? Yeah. So it's

32:25

like

32:25

then you start to feel

32:28

guilty. It's like, okay. Like, I

32:30

can't have this person take

32:32

over because I didn't want to lay and

32:34

then imagine you come in to to

32:37

work and you're the you're the

32:39

charge now. I didn't get charged

32:41

trained. I'm the head of the whole department right

32:43

now. And I have to go to the OR.

32:45

I have to go to this. I to go do that.

32:47

I'm not properly trained to do any of this. They would give me

32:49

sixteen patients. You know what I

32:51

mean? And then I have to

32:54

take care of charge and all this other extra stuff. So

32:56

it's like, how am I running around

32:58

doing all of this? The day that I was like

33:00

fed up was the day that I was called down

33:03

to the OR. So the OR

33:05

is like, you have to set up very quick. Like, you

33:07

can't you can't miss it, you

33:09

know. And I

33:11

had a patient upstairs that's coding.

33:13

And another patient took his tube

33:15

out, his life support tube out. I have

33:17

another one who had another

33:19

issue. And I'm just one

33:21

person, you know. And you're not

33:23

getting much help from and if

33:25

you ask her too much help, it's like, oh, you're

33:28

you're dumb. You know what I mean? If you ask too many questions,

33:30

you're dumb again. You know? And I'd rather

33:32

be dumb. I'd rather be known as

33:34

the dumb one I keep asking questions. I keep saying this

33:36

is not okay because it's not

33:39

okay. You know, these are people's

33:41

lives, families interested their lives on

33:43

us, you know. and

33:45

I can't be playing around just because I wanna

33:47

be looked at a certain way from

33:49

the coworkers. So as

33:51

I was, like, fighting back that way,

33:53

then I'm

33:54

starting to see getting reported

33:56

a lot more. Yeah. I'm

33:58

getting reported. The most

33:59

ridiculous report that I've gotten was a

34:03

machine that was, like,

34:05

the it's called the CPAP machine. Patient's put

34:07

it on. It has a little sound when

34:09

you turn it on, just like when you turn the fan

34:11

on as a sound. So the patient

34:13

complained about

34:14

having a sound the whole night,

34:16

and I got reported for it. I didn't

34:18

make

34:18

the equipment. I asked my manager. I was like, was

34:21

there an alarm sound? Where's the

34:23

beeping sound? Yeah. She's like, no. Just

34:25

like the regular humming. And I'm

34:27

like, okay. Then then that's What

34:30

does that have to do

34:32

with me? Mhmm. You know, that's how ridiculous

34:34

the the reports were coming. That's

34:36

insane. And then one of the most severe

34:39

first reports that I've gotten was

34:42

they were trying to, like, tell me

34:44

I almost killed a patient. I have

34:46

an announcement today from the sponsor that you all need to hear

34:49

in Shawla. The message of

34:50

allah Sala said, whoever

34:53

takes

34:53

a path upon which obtains knowledge,

34:56

a law makes a path to paradise easy for

34:58

him. The sad reality is

35:00

that many students are having a hard time getting higher

35:02

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of colleges and universities. Taking

35:06

out student loans that come

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with extreme high interest rates only

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sum of one point

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six trillion of which

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to promote the spiritual

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35:34

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doing this, we hope to bring

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about a generation of graduates that

35:45

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joined hands with a continuous charity

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in launching a twenty five

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and aid them in attaining their educational pursuits. We have

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the power to transform their lives and

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in turn the future of

36:02

our Ooma. Help us

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help them. Every dollar you donate

36:06

today lives year after year because

36:08

they give back to another student.

36:10

How do our

36:12

show notes or to our social media pages to find the link to

36:14

donate. If you can't donate,

36:16

please spread

36:18

the word.

36:20

Going back into giving you a heavy load of an assignment, they

36:22

would give me a heavy load of assignment.

36:24

It would take care of many floors throughout

36:26

the night, so there's less RTs during

36:29

the night. and I had to cover so many

36:31

floors. And the nurses are

36:33

just calling to give, like, as

36:35

needed treatments. And you have to bounce

36:37

around every floor, every like, you have

36:40

to go as your list goes

36:42

on, you know. So

36:44

there's a particular patient that came

36:46

through the emergency, and then they

36:48

had to have a machine. And

36:50

this machine, I put I took it to

36:52

him. I was like, hey, you need to have this

36:54

machine for a little

36:56

moisture. And he said,

36:58

no. I'm not doing it. I was going back and

37:00

forth with him. I was like, okay. He didn't do it

37:02

at home, but per protocol, we have to

37:04

have it in the hospital. So I went to the nurse,

37:06

confining nurse, I went to the charge nurse, and

37:08

I was like, hey, can't find the nurse,

37:10

put this patient is refusing it. I have it

37:12

in the room. Can anyone talk to him?

37:14

She's like, okay. Have you refused? Do you refuse? Just try to

37:16

I was like, okay. But I just need someone to know because

37:19

I don't wanna get in trouble next later on.

37:21

She's like, no, but you need to forget about him. You

37:23

need to go do these knaps here. Naps

37:25

are like nebulizers. You need to go do a nebulizer

37:27

here. And I was like, yeah, I have a

37:29

list. one person I can do as much as

37:31

I can. I said, I'm just letting you know about

37:33

this patient. I'm going to this room. She's like, no

37:36

focus on this room. Stop talking about

37:38

this one. I vote. I

37:40

go do my knaps and everything.

37:42

I'm getting called left and right,

37:44

comes morning time shifts change.

37:47

I get a call from a nurse and

37:49

I hear screaming in the back. Oh my

37:51

god. Get this. Get the suction. Get and

37:53

I'm like, what's going on?

37:56

She goes, come over here right now. Come over here. And I'm like, what is

37:58

going on? She goes, you need to get

37:59

over here right now. And I was

38:02

like, okay.

38:02

okay something's going Mhmm.

38:04

So I get down and I

38:06

just see I don't know if

38:08

it was one of the nurses or it

38:10

was, like, one of the residents for

38:13

someone was just pointing at me and pointing their finger like, you know,

38:15

tell someone to come with your index

38:17

finger. Yeah. That's what they're

38:19

doing to me. And I was

38:21

like, okay. I know what I'm getting

38:24

into. I was like, yes, me. Just is it

38:26

gonna have an issue then to do? Yeah. Let's just

38:28

think of the sound mind. Do you

38:30

know? Yeah. I get there. They're like, you almost killed the patient. You almost killed the patient

38:32

in front of the patient. In front of

38:34

the patient? Yeah. And the

38:36

patient is falling.

38:38

And I'm like, what's going on? And she goes,

38:40

what's your name? What's your name? Give me your name and

38:42

need a report here. They're

38:44

so fixated. on tearing

38:46

me down and reporting me instead

38:48

of what's actually going on right now. And

38:50

then I get my badge and I say my name

38:52

is Yasmeen. YASMIN and my name last name Samantha.

38:54

Here's my last name. Yeah. Go ahead

38:56

and report me. I really don't care for that right

38:58

now. Can we take care of the patient? Yeah.

39:02

because he's literally crying. Oh my god.

39:04

And then they're just like, oh, and

39:06

then they're they keep denying that

39:08

I ever let them know. you

39:11

know, what you denying.

39:14

So I did my they always used to call

39:16

me Twitter fingers because I

39:18

wanna document

39:20

Oh, wow. Documentations there. So you documented -- Yeah.

39:22

-- that you told them? I document everything.

39:25

You're

39:25

lying. Yeah.

39:28

You you

39:28

Okay. I have a question. I'm a little shocked right now.

39:31

Yeah. Do you know is it because, like, is it

39:33

a thought for you? Like, yes, I need to document

39:35

this because I know somebody's about to

39:37

go wrong. It's somewhere a mistake is gonna be

39:39

put on me. Yes. I have. So you had that feeling. Yeah. Do you always have to

39:41

be on guard to be

39:44

reported? Yes. you have to be your own

39:46

lawyer in a second. Oh my gosh. So you you

39:48

basically got to buy money when you were getting

39:50

reported. Mhmm. You're like, I need to start

39:52

documenting a lot of my shifts,

39:54

every step. That's crazy. So it's like it's me against

39:56

it's you against the the the

39:58

the documentation now, you know.

40:02

So so we go on

40:04

and we take care of the patient.

40:06

They're still whispering and

40:08

stuff like, like, really bad mouthing me in there.

40:10

And I didn't pay no mind. I was like, oh,

40:12

that's a crime. Yeah. I was like, a

40:14

lie. Imagine seeing

40:16

a patient riding and

40:18

he's he's crying. And they're

40:20

all bickering and they're doing some front of the picture

40:22

saying that you almost killed it. Yeah. And while

40:24

you're helping him, they're bickering about you

40:26

saying it's girl like, you know what she's

40:28

doing. Why? Mhmm. I woulda cried. And

40:30

then I woulda had his dog break so he

40:32

can't talk. So

40:34

it's, like, So it's like almost like I felt so bad

40:36

for him that you're witnessing this. Like,

40:38

you need help. The worst thing to

40:40

have, it's very hard and it's an attempt to

40:42

hunt for

40:44

anybody is being in the care of been adding, like, you know what I mean? Yeah.

40:46

Being in the care of the front desk, it's,

40:48

like, very hard. Like, you you get

40:50

people that are not, like, very genuine.

40:52

You know?

40:54

So and the patients are the most genuine people

40:56

and it's amazing to me because it's like

40:58

the type of people they deal with and

41:01

they're you're always asking for

41:03

help from another human being. It's very hard. You know? So

41:05

just seeing him, like, crying was

41:07

like, like, are you guys not really

41:09

seeing? Like, what you

41:11

can report me, you can do whatever you like

41:14

with me, but let's

41:16

at least deal with him first. That was

41:18

always my motto because at the end of the day,

41:21

you have a responsibility from Ile that

41:23

you're taking care of this human being, you know?

41:25

And when someone is in that dire

41:28

need, like, you're very, like, in a sense

41:30

of, like, you're gonna get the highest judgment from me. You know

41:32

what I mean? So you have to be very

41:34

delicate in how you treat people when

41:36

they're very vulnerable like that. You know what

41:38

I mean? So

41:40

seeing the patient like that, I was it struck me,

41:42

but then I was like, okay. Let me just focus

41:44

on him. Let me talk to him.

41:47

I ignored all of them.

41:49

Wow. Yeah. So then

41:52

come the next day morning and get called to

41:54

the office again. And this is getting to

41:56

be almost, like, every other day. Like, I'm

41:58

getting reported. And I was sitting in the office

42:00

there really annoyed by you. Yeah. And

42:02

I'm sitting in the office and they were

42:04

super heavy on. Like, they kept asking my mentor.

42:07

Like, oh, this girl, like, we have

42:09

to do extra work when we're coming

42:11

to her because she's very,

42:14

like, She's very strict. Like, we can't get through yes me.

42:16

And the reason why is before I even

42:18

go into a room where

42:20

I know I got reported,

42:22

I think about every door they can come out of. Mhmm. Any excuse they can

42:25

use, and I and I make sure I

42:27

have answers for everything. Wow. before

42:29

I sit down Oh my

42:31

god. Yes. You survived. you're

42:33

a survivor. Oh,

42:34

you're a fight of your life? Well, because

42:36

I'm like, they're gonna come from from this angle,

42:38

that angle, this angle. You have to cover

42:41

all angles and be prepared and

42:43

sit there. You know? Yeah.

42:46

And so I did that. And I

42:48

asked her, I said, oh, She's like, oh, you

42:50

said you're you couldn't get to the nurse. You

42:52

were busy as I guess. You can go check

42:54

my pages. I told the yes.

42:56

So you can check

42:58

the cameras. I I told the charge nurse. Mhmm. And then I was,

43:00

like, what else were we talking about? She's, like

43:02

and I said, how about I turned the tables

43:04

on this on them. I said,

43:06

how about let's talk how didn't the was in

43:08

the room. That tells me that

43:10

the patient was never cared for.

43:13

And let's count how many hours he was in the

43:15

room? How many hours that was it? That's

43:17

patient neglect right there.

43:20

What?

43:21

Yes, maen turned

43:23

into

43:23

her father. Right. Yes, maen turned

43:25

into her dad.

43:28

You were telling them exactly

43:30

prove by prove way they went wrong. Yes. I was out of

43:33

my work. Mhmm. Let me tell you why

43:35

was it this year? Well, That

43:37

would've been that must've been a real moment.

43:40

That's where they dropped the whole

43:42

case. They dropped it because

43:44

you knew what you were talking about. Don't

43:46

don't ever.

43:47

Don't drive me. No. Because what you were

43:49

saying was Yeah. And they knew they

43:51

can be in so much trouble at this

43:53

point to escalate me further.

43:55

Mhmm. So I'm getting that through that one, but then after

43:57

that, it just kept escalating. So it's

44:00

getting trained I got a boxy.

44:02

Yes. So I I'm, like, the difficult one

44:04

now. So I was getting trained. I

44:06

remember this one time, I kinda, like,

44:08

got so fed up like I was

44:10

crying. The first time I started

44:12

crying, I was getting trained by

44:14

this one's Pacific RT, and she did

44:16

not like me for no reason. Like, I

44:18

had no idea, but she kept trying to find

44:20

something on

44:22

me. and I kept having ducks

44:24

are in order. You know? So

44:26

I remember she even

44:29

had another RT watching

44:31

what I do. So I would go

44:34

and, like, I would go do my

44:36

rounds and then I would see this guy, like,

44:38

in the corners, Like, and I'm

44:40

looking at you. What is going on? Like, this is not

44:42

his unit. This is my unit. What are you doing

44:44

here? Yeah. You know what I mean?

44:46

So I'm like so you have people watching

44:48

me now. then she's like she

44:50

called me. She's like, oh, you're in this

44:52

area? The only the only way she knows in that

44:54

area is because the the

44:56

RT toller And she's like, oh, you have a a neb that was not

44:58

done. And I was like, okay. That is

45:00

because did you ask me why I

45:02

wasn't done? I was like,

45:03

we went to travel. We went

45:05

to transport another patient. That took

45:08

time. Now I'm back. And now I'm

45:10

doing it. She goes, no, we need to

45:12

talk to you, come to the office. And I was like, okay.

45:14

And I

45:14

knew why they were mad because previously

45:16

during my downtime where they're

45:19

having a break, one of my

45:21

other fellow coworkers go she's a

45:24

somali woman. She

45:26

was having difficulties, like, drawing

45:29

blood, you know. And then she's like, yes,

45:31

me. Can you me out? And I was the middle training so that I called, I

45:34

talked to my receptor. I said,

45:36

hey, she

45:38

needs help. And then

45:39

she was telling me no one's helping her. Like, she asked everybody,

45:41

they told her they're busy yet they're in the

45:43

room sitting

45:44

around. You know? Wow. So

45:46

because they wanna see you figure You

45:48

know what I mean? So I was like, I'm gonna go help her. Is that okay?

45:50

And if we get any calls, I'll report to

45:53

it. She's like, okay. And I went to her.

45:55

I helped her out. I

45:58

came back. knew they're mad about five. Why?

46:00

So they do not want us to help each

46:02

other because they know, is that a rule

46:04

somewhere though? Because it's like each other?

46:06

If we if we help each other,

46:08

they can't get to us. They can't get to

46:10

us. It's on your

46:12

own individual side. You know what I mean? But

46:14

if you're a unit, they really can't get to us,

46:16

you know. So I came

46:18

into the end, I also asked

46:20

for her to go

46:22

pray. I didn't ask. I told her, hey, we're during

46:24

our break time. I'm gonna go pray and I'll

46:26

be right back. Yeah. It's like you don't ask to

46:28

go to the bathroom. Yeah. So watch it ask to go

46:30

pray. You know what I mean? So it's like, can I go to

46:32

the bathroom. Like, no one says that. So I'm gonna go

46:34

and pray, and I'll be back.

46:36

And within this time, Stan,

46:40

And she said, okay. So I knew they're at least mad about those

46:42

two things. I was preparing my mind going into

46:44

the room. And then so the

46:46

charge is sitting there, my preceptors

46:49

sitting there and then he goes, Yasmin, I just

46:51

feel like you're not very serious

46:53

about your your

46:56

learning here. you're out here

46:58

helping other people talking to your friends. You

47:00

wanna help your other friends instead of learning

47:02

yourself. I was like, it wasn't during learning

47:04

time. It was during Britain. You guys

47:06

are here watching TV and stuff. So I went to go help her out.

47:08

You said that? Yeah. I I blatantly said that. I

47:10

was like, you guys are

47:12

watching TV. And I went to go help

47:14

her because you refused to help her. Yeah. And he

47:16

was like, but, you

47:18

know, it's just that I understand she's

47:20

your friend, but This is your

47:22

learning time. You've asked about

47:24

getting training. You're finally getting the

47:26

training you want. So why

47:28

are you tearing away, and then you're asking for other break times. And I was

47:30

like, that was prayer.

47:32

You know? And I was like, they

47:34

they try to twist your emotions against

47:36

you and try to, like, kind

47:38

of manipulate your mind into thinking, oh, they finally gave you what you

47:40

wanted. How dare you do that? grateful.

47:43

Yeah. So it's, like, I

47:45

felt so much pressure. And then they were like, oh, by the

47:48

way, you're charting. I was like,

47:50

yeah. I'm charting right

47:51

now. Wasn't this charting time?

47:53

I'm like, yeah. but you could have charted earlier if

47:55

you weren't helping so and so. Oh my

47:58

goodness. Okay. So then

47:58

I sit in the

47:59

corner and I'm charting, you

48:02

know. And And then one of

48:04

my friends, he came

48:06

and he's from togo. So he was,

48:08

like, my support buddy

48:10

all along, like, he came and he's like, yes, ma'am,

48:12

are you okay? And him just saying, are

48:15

you

48:15

okay? The the

48:16

cry fast. That's where guess what,

48:18

guys? And PSA, more if you see somebody have said, don't ask her.

48:21

Okay.

48:21

Because I don't know why I

48:23

start crying. Even if I know

48:25

I'm not okay. Okay. If you have to wear out

48:27

your socks. Right? I don't even want to know. I don't wanna I don't wanna go

48:29

there. Mhmm. So

48:31

I

48:32

started Balenia's America. No.

48:36

Who did this to you? We're we're gonna go to them. Who was it? No. And

48:38

I was like, I don't know. I just don't wanna sacrifice. Right?

48:40

You just thought defeated it. Yeah. I

48:42

just felt like I don't wanna

48:45

do this anymore. Yeah. Like, I understand I love care, but this is not

48:47

the health care that I

48:48

wanted, you know. And so I

48:50

called my

48:51

mentor and I'm like, oh,

48:53

I start balling to her. Yeah. I'm not

48:56

doing this anymore. I'm

48:58

leaving. I can't do this anymore. She was a

49:00

yes mean. Like, I waited

49:02

so long for a whole bunch of,

49:04

like, of our community to come here and for us

49:06

to make a change, you know, you can't let them get to

49:08

you. Like, you cannot

49:10

allow that. And I was like, I know,

49:12

do this. And she's like, I respect that if you

49:14

wanna quit, but I don't want them to

49:16

make you quit. Like, you

49:17

quit because you

49:20

wanna quit not because, you know what I mean, they pushed you to quit quitting.

49:22

And I was like, yes, true. And I get

49:24

back to my senses, and I'm like, okay. Let's

49:26

do this again. You just wipe

49:30

the tears put your metaphorical key back

49:32

on. Yes. This feels like an opening of

49:34

a greeze anatomy episode.

49:36

I would come home every day

49:39

crying. I would tell my parents. My parents heard all the stories

49:42

every day. They did this to me, and then they did

49:44

this to me. And I would

49:46

just cry. and my mom was like,

49:48

just leave the job.

49:50

And my dad is like, no, you can't live in

49:52

a relationship.

49:54

And I can't I can't have him come in anymore. You know what I mean? He

49:56

can come in all my life, but now it's like,

49:58

you gotta find out I'm a working

49:59

big girl and I can't have my dad come

50:02

in. Yeah. you know, so as,

50:04

like, as much as I would love for him to

50:06

come in, he would he would have set

50:08

set this tone for me

50:10

and me. But but as

50:12

we kept going, I kept

50:14

learning how to, like, learn the system.

50:18

learning I basically became my own

50:22

lawyer. Yeah. So I had to

50:24

learn in order to

50:26

survive here And in

50:28

order to get Michaels,

50:30

which is to have more culture

50:32

inclusivity in this hospital, I

50:34

have to learn the system of how they

50:36

can't get to me. like, I I

50:38

have to learn the system. So I learned

50:40

it, and and it,

50:42

like, worked out so well for me. It happened that

50:44

even though it was very hard. it worked out in my

50:46

favor. There's a specific

50:48

incident of a doctor, and I've

50:50

met with this doctor one other

50:52

time, and we had issues of not being on the

50:54

same page. which is fine.

50:56

I I'm not I don't push anyone

50:58

to This is how I'm thinking. This

51:00

is what you should do, but at least hear me out.

51:02

You know what I mean? Make make sure, like,

51:04

my words are valid just like my white

51:07

coworker. Like, they they

51:09

they they think you're not

51:12

intelligent enough like, if you tell them something they question it, they go and ask

51:14

another coworker, like, is that

51:16

correct? You know what I mean? So it's like, you're

51:18

never validated.

51:20

Mhmm. And you not being

51:22

validated affects your patients. You know what I

51:24

mean? Your patients are not getting the the

51:26

the services they need because you're not

51:28

they're

51:28

not believing you.

51:29

You know? So so

51:31

we go into the specific incident

51:33

where a doctor was telling

51:35

me to put a specific

51:37

machine on the ventilator. And

51:40

I was like, well, that machine is not compatible, but I will ask

51:42

the heads, the the of the

51:44

charge of the department, and I'll get inquiries.

51:47

Like, I'm not just gonna go based off of my

51:50

word. I asked, they're like, no. This

51:52

doesn't work. And I was like, okay. I came back

51:54

to them. I said, this person and this

51:56

person, which they are highly

51:58

fond of, set this. And she's

52:00

like, okay, it's not possible because

52:02

another hospital did this. I'm like, maybe they had

52:04

different machines. that are compatible

52:06

with it. Ours is not, you

52:08

know. And I gave her a few other

52:10

options of what to do. She didn't listen

52:12

to me. I go into the patient's room. I'm like, oh, this patient paralyzed, and

52:14

she's like, yeah. They're paralyzed. What do you mean? I

52:16

was like, oh, I thought that I saw the

52:18

patient flinching,

52:20

but maybe, you know what I mean, maybe reflexes and maybe just my

52:22

eyes. Okay. Okay. But just you

52:24

know what I mean? And I said, just

52:26

let's make sure they're fully

52:28

like, they actually are they specific patient needed a

52:31

smaller tube because she had so so much

52:33

swelling in her throat. Yeah. And

52:37

and then she coughs and it comes out, she's already a difficult

52:40

to intubate, which is putting the tube in. Yeah.

52:42

She's already difficult with

52:44

that. So it's gonna be harder to put it in again. Mhmm. So just

52:46

have to make sure everything's correct.

52:48

So she's, like, yes,

52:50

it is. And then I guess,

52:53

one of my other coworkers that was doing the KG that night

52:55

came to the room, and he was she

52:57

was asking him questions in front of me, like, oh,

52:59

is this machine compatible with this machine? And

53:02

he's like, yeah. And then

53:03

I'm I looked I looked over. I'm like,

53:06

what do you what do you mean? Like, how does it work?

53:08

Like, I was intrigued and asked,

53:10

like,

53:10

three people said, it does not work.

53:12

We don't have compatibility for it.

53:14

Teach me

53:14

how it has compatibility with it. Right? Mhmm.

53:17

And he goes, oh, I can just make

53:19

my own basically, he's gonna go and experiment and

53:21

put, like, things together -- Excuse me. -- and

53:23

make his own little, like, manufactured.

53:25

He's like, I was

53:28

like, okay. I'm

53:30

not comfortable with that. Yeah. Because if

53:32

anything comes out of that, then it's like You're

53:34

liable. You're you're liable for it. So I

53:36

said, no. I can't do. And he

53:38

goes she she looks at him. He

53:40

goes she goes, I mean, he said it works. And I

53:42

said okay. I mean, if he said it

53:44

works and you said it works, many y'all do

53:46

it? Yeah. I'm a I'm a come I'm a

53:48

come from it. Yeah. You do it. You do

53:50

it. You do it. I'm a step aside. Yeah. because I'm not

53:52

getting in trouble for this.

53:54

Right? Yeah. So then he goes and does his little

53:56

makeshift. He puts it in

53:58

one hour he was struggling just to

53:59

find out

54:02

didn't work. I didn't tell them. I told you, you said, I just kept my

54:04

mouth shut. You know, did my

54:06

rounds. I said, yeah. My bad business. my

54:10

business. And then she yeah. Yet

54:12

again, I kept pushing for is this patient

54:14

paralyzed? Is this patient? No

54:16

one was listening

54:18

to me. You know what I

54:20

mean? And

54:22

come Browns again. Like,

54:24

it's morning shift shift change and

54:26

I'm getting report and I get a call.

54:28

and I hear screaming. Oh my god. The patients too came up. The

54:31

patients too came out and I run

54:33

to the room. Yeah. and

54:36

then the the doctors

54:37

are, like, fix it. Fix it. And

54:39

I'm standing there. Like, I

54:42

told

54:42

you, She wasn't

54:44

paralyzed enough. Like, she wasn't she

54:46

she the the patient coughed and

54:48

then the two came out. Oh, my

54:50

god. And I was like, I'm always

54:52

difficult to put it in. Yeah. And then

54:54

now the machine is not giving your adequate

54:57

breaths, oxygen is going down, everything's

54:59

tumbling. Mhmm. And I'm like, okay. And

55:01

she's like, do something with the the machine. I was

55:02

like, the machine can't do anything unless it's too busy.

55:04

Yeah. We can't do anything with

55:07

the

55:07

machine. Let's emergently take

55:10

this tube out and let's put another tube in or

55:12

call ENT or something, you know?

55:14

And I was like, I even

55:16

showed her, like, here's me

55:18

messing with the machine. It's not working.

55:20

And then, thankfully,

55:21

when that was happening, one of my

55:23

coworkers, a little girl, she

55:25

came with me. she

55:26

knew something was off, you know? And then

55:28

when she saw them, like, bickering

55:30

with me, she called the charge.

55:33

to come to the room so he can witness what's

55:35

happening here and thankfully she did

55:37

that. So he comes in another black

55:39

male. We're all real You

55:41

know, is that okay? No. Okay. So it doesn't

55:44

serve. No. Nobody, anybody. He

55:46

he asked me, like, I guess, what was happening? I

55:48

was like, what happened. He goes, yeah, you're

55:50

right. Like, that's not gonna work out. Like, they have to

55:52

take the tube out, like -- Yeah. -- or

55:54

reinsert the tube. Like, you have to fix the tube. I'm

55:56

like, yeah, because the tube is sitting on the

55:58

tongue. Yeah. what are we ventilating? Yeah. We we ought to be in the Yeah.

56:00

So and then he goes, can

56:02

he go get me suction? because she's

56:06

like, like, had a drooling all over. And I was like, okay. I was about

56:08

to leave the room and then the the doctor,

56:10

like, she puts her self by the door. She

56:12

goes, where

56:12

are you going? I'm like, I'm grabbing suction. She

56:16

goes, She goes she uses very

56:18

vulgar words. She said, all of

56:20

you

56:20

illiterate RTs get

56:23

the f away from the machine and

56:25

step back. Execute your

56:27

And

56:29

I said, whoa. my

56:32

and then she comes and then she

56:34

was like she was telling me she's trying to show

56:36

me the patient is paralyzed. So what she did is she took

56:38

the end of the suction. and she stuck it on their hand.

56:40

I was like, see. And then she goats

56:43

and she sticks it on their tongue and

56:45

then twists it. And I'm like, What

56:47

are you doing here? What are you doing? I don't Like, why

56:49

are you inflicting pain on the patient? Like, at the end of

56:51

the day, like, what are you doing? Just the

56:54

proof to me. Like, they're like, they're, like,

56:56

paralyzed. You know what I mean? I'm, like,

56:58

okay, that I'm, like, I just step

57:00

back. I'm, like, she's

57:02

she's obviously freaking out.

57:04

She's out of her mind. Yeah. And I was

57:06

like, let me just step back and

57:08

just keep crying because she's not

57:10

listening to us. She just wants us to stand there.

57:12

She goes, grab me the RT that

57:14

grab me the other RT, which was

57:16

the the white RT. The white RT.

57:18

Grab me the white RT.

57:22

is what she said. And She said white.

57:24

No. She said girl names are there. But you knew

57:26

-- Yeah. -- the white is the charges there,

57:28

I'm there. Another artist here, which

57:31

were all black. was old, but you want the white Archie? You know

57:33

what I mean? Y. Good. And then she goes, he

57:36

knows what he's

57:38

doing. So he comes,

57:40

and then she and then the the charge

57:42

article is telling her, like, hey, like, this

57:44

patient is declining because of you, like,

57:46

can you get everything situated? Can you call ENC? Can you you

57:48

know what I mean? Like, can we get things going?

57:50

Yeah. Like, you're because

57:53

you don't want to say

57:55

that you were wrong, you're inflicting harm on

57:57

the patients. Yeah. You know what I

57:59

mean? And mind you, the family of

58:01

the patient was there too. So

58:03

they were stuck outside, but the door is open. They can

58:05

hear everything. They can hear us see everything.

58:08

Yeah. So then she yells at

58:10

him and she goes, get the f

58:12

out of here, you Alert r

58:14

t. The charge. Yeah. And she

58:16

goes, all of you, Alert r

58:18

t's, get The the

58:20

f. I So, basically, everybody black could tell

58:22

out. Yeah. And she was throwing the

58:24

f bomb at us. Like, because she

58:26

actually quit crazy. Yeah. And

58:28

then everybody left. everybody's kinda like holding go.

58:30

And they knew I was like,

58:32

I like I'm not

58:34

tolerating this. Yeah. You know?

58:37

And they're like, let's go. Let's go. And they took me out of the

58:39

door, and then I let their hand

58:42

go. I said, just go. And then he asked me about what

58:44

are you about to do? I knew I was, like, I lost

58:46

it at this point. I was walking backwards. I

58:48

was walking backwards -- Okay. -- to the

58:50

room because they the the where the room

58:52

was, the room was to my left.

58:55

and I started walking with all the other entities

58:57

and then just realized how how

58:59

that was unacceptable.

59:02

And how you're doing this in front of a patient and their family,

59:04

and you're not helping the patient,

59:06

and you're more focused on downgrading me.

59:08

You know what I mean? Degrading me at that point.

59:11

So I literally walked backwards and I looked at

59:14

the room and everybody's

59:16

there. And I looked over and I

59:18

said,

59:19

don't you ever do that

59:21

again in everything. That's okay. That's highly inappropriate and you

59:23

don't own

59:23

this patient and just because you're

59:26

a doctor, mean the

59:28

only one that can advocate for this patient.

59:30

Wow. And then she was like, do you

59:32

know who I am? Do you know who I am?

59:35

I said, Do you know who I am? because you don't

59:37

know who I am. Oh,

59:42

yay. Do you know who

59:44

I am? Who are you? Yes, ma'am? Because I have

59:46

many words for you. You're giving

59:48

me Bostik. You're giving me I'm

59:50

a six and

59:52

a nine. you're giving me everything is got.

59:54

Okay? You told her,

59:55

do you know who I am?

59:57

Ma'am, respectfully, do you know

59:59

who

59:59

I am? and then she was

1:00:02

shocked. She was like, someone, like,

1:00:04

talked back to me. Like, because in healthcare,

1:00:06

it's like, it's like the norm like -- Yeah. -- in the

1:00:08

bag. It's a it's a bit of doctor. Like,

1:00:10

you don't do Yeah. And I was like, don't

1:00:12

you ever disrespect us

1:00:14

ever again? And I said, you don't

1:00:16

own that patient? We're a

1:00:18

healthcare team. and we're here to help

1:00:20

them out. Don't you ever. You know,

1:00:22

if I was there with you? That's not great. Don't you ever hear

1:00:24

what you

1:00:26

said? Yeah. And I said, and next time, how about you

1:00:28

actually listen to people? And

1:00:30

I walked away. And I was like, okay.

1:00:32

And I made sure I did my little report

1:00:33

too because You

1:00:35

know and we know you you go be typing with those sort

1:00:37

of figures. Yeah.

1:00:39

Well,

1:00:43

I was like, I gotta

1:00:44

cover all my tracks. I don't know

1:00:47

how to talk about

1:00:47

this. So

1:00:50

eventually, like, my manager comes again. There's a report. They reported

1:00:52

against me. I guess, because the doctor started

1:00:54

crying to the charge nurse after I walked

1:00:56

away. She's like, I can't believe

1:00:58

she she set that to me and she

1:01:00

was like crying. I was like,

1:01:02

oh, like,

1:01:02

do you feel hurt?

1:01:03

Like, you don't know what

1:01:05

you just did? You know what I

1:01:07

mean? So so they told me everything. I said, I have I

1:01:10

don't I don't need to explain anything. Everything's

1:01:12

written down.

1:01:14

And I and I actually put neglect.

1:01:16

Anything I can use. because

1:01:18

they use everything, I guess, this

1:01:21

is Yeah. after that, that specific

1:01:24

doctor was super, like, extra

1:01:26

cautious around me. Like, to the

1:01:28

point where we're going to

1:01:30

another patient's room one day and I

1:01:32

had to grab my gown to wear

1:01:34

to go in because it's like a contact

1:01:36

you can't touch the

1:01:38

patient. So she hands me the

1:01:40

the gown. She's like, here you

1:01:42

go. And I was like, you don't have to do

1:01:44

extra. Like, I don't put myself in

1:01:46

a high pedestal. Like, just because that

1:01:48

happened, just just don't do what you were doing. Mhmm. Ever again. You know

1:01:50

what I mean? Yep. So but

1:01:52

you think it would stop there,

1:01:55

but it didn't to

1:01:56

the point where there's a similar RT that heard about this. And

1:01:58

I don't know her.

1:01:59

And she went to my dad's dad, and

1:02:02

she was like, oh, it's your

1:02:04

daughter, like, when she was talking to him, she

1:02:06

was like, oh, she works as an artist, like, yeah. This is

1:02:08

her name. She goes, oh, she wears

1:02:10

glasses. They're like, he's like, yeah. And she goes,

1:02:12

oh, tell her to

1:02:14

be because

1:02:14

all these nurses are out to get her and they actually tell

1:02:16

us, like, watch out for her if you find something

1:02:18

on her report it. Oh, wow.

1:02:22

And I'm like and then imagine your dad coming on,

1:02:24

like, what's going on? Like -- Yeah. -- they're actually, like, they're trying

1:02:26

to call Oh, yeah. life. life.

1:02:30

So I'm just like, I just do what I can. advocate for my

1:02:33

patients. I'm not disrespectful, but they

1:02:35

don't like it. So so we

1:02:37

went through that, and

1:02:40

then come again. We go through another code blue. I'm running to

1:02:42

my patient's room. And I'm

1:02:44

I'm trying to grab a gown to

1:02:46

put on to go into my patient's

1:02:50

room. and he's a young kid coding and the families

1:02:52

there, they're super heartbroken. And I'm

1:02:54

just thinking about all of this, you know, how I'm preparing

1:02:56

myself to go into the room space, do not

1:03:00

like, going into coat, blue rooms. Like

1:03:02

like, as everyone says, like,

1:03:04

healthcare kind of, like, desensitizes you in a

1:03:06

little bit. You know what I mean? When you're seeing

1:03:09

so much stuff, every time I'm in there, I

1:03:11

just get the jitters. You know what I mean?

1:03:14

And I'm super uncomfortable. So I have

1:03:16

to pre program my mind

1:03:18

going in. So as I'm thinking

1:03:20

about this, a nurse stops me.

1:03:22

She's like, where are you going in? I was like, oh, my

1:03:24

patient's here to see my patient.

1:03:26

She's like, Oh, no. We don't need

1:03:28

cleaning in there. Cleaning.

1:03:30

And I'm like, what? She's like, yeah, we

1:03:32

don't need cleaning in there. We don't need you in

1:03:36

there. And I'm like, here we go again. Oh my

1:03:38

god. That you can't be anything

1:03:40

but a cleaner in the hospital if you're a

1:03:42

black Muslim woman in the hospital. You know what

1:03:44

I mean? it's

1:03:46

like I was denied my patient's room and then she snatches my gown

1:03:48

and hands it to anesthesia. Oh my

1:03:52

god. And I'm like, okay.

1:03:54

And then I see an RT come out, and

1:03:56

I was like, is everything good in there? And they're like, yeah. Everything's

1:03:58

good. We we have enough people in there. I was like, okay.

1:04:00

I'm gonna leave. Just let me if

1:04:02

you guys need me. I was just super, like,

1:04:04

overwhelmed by emotion. Like, I

1:04:06

was just denied to go in my patient's

1:04:10

room because they thought I was, like, cleaner.

1:04:12

You know what I mean?

1:04:13

So I was, like,

1:04:14

okay. When I made sure everything was good

1:04:16

with him, I just removed myself. I

1:04:20

was, like, So health care was just super toxic at that time

1:04:22

for me, you know. And I'm that type

1:04:24

of person I feel everything. Mhmm.

1:04:26

So I'm like, I had

1:04:28

to keep learning how to remove myself from situations if it wasn't

1:04:30

for me. Like, because I was getting

1:04:32

super overwhelmed to the point where I was

1:04:34

dreaming about

1:04:36

it. And when I go home, I'm, like, thinking about it, dreaming about it. It

1:04:38

was just my whole life was consumed by it. To

1:04:40

the point where I had to build a regimen

1:04:44

of, like, when I leave work, I have to go take a

1:04:46

walk. Wow. I can't go home and go to

1:04:48

bed.

1:04:48

I have to go take a walk.

1:04:50

to go take a walk like, release everything.

1:04:52

You know what I mean? And then go home, take

1:04:55

a shower, and then go to bed. Like,

1:04:57

I have to have an entire regimen

1:04:59

just so it doesn't affect to

1:05:01

me as much, you know. So

1:05:04

so as we're going through that and it's getting

1:05:06

more and more severe, there is

1:05:08

one incident in particular, but a

1:05:10

personal story of one of my coworkers. But when that

1:05:13

incident grew and we're all

1:05:15

super, like, frustrated with

1:05:18

it, we all stood up like, we're gonna fight this, you

1:05:20

know. And we went to the Huts. We

1:05:22

took all of our documentation,

1:05:24

all of our paperwork,

1:05:26

everything. And

1:05:28

then HR did a whole analysis on

1:05:30

nurses to ask them, hey, do

1:05:32

the RT coworkers come to you

1:05:35

guys and they degree of the RTs. They just went down

1:05:37

the list of everything we're complaining

1:05:40

about. And they were like, yes. So they

1:05:42

basically validated that there

1:05:44

was racism. then

1:05:46

all of a sudden they tell

1:05:48

us, one of the

1:05:50

artist goes, well, I feel

1:05:52

like I'm being singled out too as a white

1:05:54

woman and I'm like, Oh, here we go.

1:05:56

Okay.

1:05:56

Here we are out. You

1:05:58

know? And then she goes,

1:05:59

well, when they come into

1:06:02

the department, And the department

1:06:04

is a lounge room where you get to

1:06:06

eat. TV is here. You know what I mean?

1:06:08

So when they come into the department,

1:06:10

they they start speaking in

1:06:12

their language. and

1:06:12

I don't think that's acceptable

1:06:15

because we don't understand it.

1:06:17

So now the tables

1:06:18

you can turn on us like, oh,

1:06:21

you guys can't speak I don't speak

1:06:23

somali when I'm talking about patient care because you're not

1:06:25

gonna understand me. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. I

1:06:27

speak somali when I'm in my private Like and

1:06:29

I explained to her, I was like, when you're on your phone, you're in the

1:06:32

department, and you're talking to your family, do I come

1:06:34

and insert myself? Yeah. No. Do I have

1:06:36

the right to listen to what you're talking

1:06:38

about? So what made you okay that you sitting over there, you had

1:06:40

to understand what I'm talking about and having a

1:06:42

private conversation over here. Yeah.

1:06:44

So and then I and

1:06:46

then I turn the tables on

1:06:48

her, and I say, let's talk about how

1:06:50

there was a student, there's a respiratory

1:06:52

student that was that you

1:06:54

were accepting, that

1:06:56

was here, and he was Vietnamese and you came into the

1:06:58

room shouting, cing cing cing cing cing cing cing cing cing

1:07:00

cing. No. Yeah. Let's

1:07:02

talk about

1:07:04

that. Yes.

1:07:04

And

1:07:05

then? And so

1:07:08

she Oh, gosh. She's so crazy. She's so

1:07:10

crazy to me. So

1:07:12

she followed during that incident, so she

1:07:14

came into the room shouting that, and I was confused

1:07:16

because the whole room was packed.

1:07:18

And I looked over because I'm like, you're not really hearing this. Yes. This can't

1:07:21

be possible. You know, it's absolutely

1:07:23

not possible. And then I look at the

1:07:25

student, I look at her. I

1:07:27

completely turn around. I was charting. I completely turn

1:07:30

around. I'm like, okay. Let me hear this

1:07:32

again. She was changinglingling, and the

1:07:34

student goes, what are

1:07:36

you doing? the student himself. Yeah. He goes, what are you doing? She

1:07:38

goes, oh, I'm just

1:07:40

speaking in Chinese to you.

1:07:43

And then he goes, I'm not trying to use some Vietnamese. And

1:07:45

then she goes same thing. And then

1:07:48

she goes she goes,

1:07:50

he's explaining to her. He's like, what

1:07:52

are you doing though? She goes, oh, I'm just

1:07:54

on my Google translate. III

1:07:57

use this when I'm talking to my patients, and he

1:07:59

goes, so, how do you what do you

1:08:01

do? She goes, I just tell Google translate to let to

1:08:03

tell them what I want them to let them know, and

1:08:05

then I just, like, turn it on

1:08:07

for them or repeat

1:08:09

it after it. and I'm sitting here, like, is this serious?

1:08:11

And then she and then he asks her, like, when

1:08:13

they respond to you, how do you respond back? She goes, oh, I tell

1:08:15

them to pipe

1:08:18

it down. excuse me. And I'm

1:08:20

like, what is going on

1:08:23

here? And I'm like and

1:08:25

I look at her, and I'm

1:08:27

like, that's absolutely unacceptable. you can stop right

1:08:29

there. And then she looks at me because she knows she already had it. Yeah. You

1:08:31

know what I mean? She's already charged me because

1:08:33

not only she's a coworker, she's a

1:08:36

schedule maker, So

1:08:38

if she doesn't like me, guess what

1:08:41

happens to my schedule? She over

1:08:43

schedule. I'm working night, day,

1:08:45

evening. getting

1:08:46

swapped around,

1:08:48

getting

1:08:48

my you know what I mean?

1:08:50

My sleep cycle all swapped around just because

1:08:53

You know what I mean? And so

1:08:55

I go to the manager and I report it and make sure I document and then I And then

1:08:57

they talk to her

1:08:59

and they're like, oh, like,

1:09:03

the oh, she's just, you know what I mean, having a

1:09:05

bad day. She just didn't know what she

1:09:07

was saying in the moment. I

1:09:10

was like, okay. Okay.

1:09:12

This is this is Wow. And then

1:09:14

right after that, there's just so

1:09:16

many stories, but this one is

1:09:19

very, like, pinnacle for me is the day that me and my

1:09:21

co partner were walking together to

1:09:23

the elevator. She left a

1:09:25

patient's room. I left a

1:09:27

patient's room walking. and then a nurse

1:09:30

starts running towards us. And then she caught us off guard, and then she snatches our badges.

1:09:36

And And

1:09:36

then I back up before she can

1:09:38

fully snatch mine. And I'm like, what are you doing? Like -- Yeah. -- and then she

1:09:41

already snatched my co

1:09:43

partner his badge And

1:09:46

then she's like, what's your name? What's your I'm reporting guys. I'm we're walking What you reporting?

1:09:48

And she jossed down her

1:09:50

name and she the elevator

1:09:52

opens. and

1:09:55

then she runs into it. I run after her. I'm

1:09:57

like, what you just

1:09:58

did was highly

1:09:59

inappropriate. What was

1:10:02

that for? And then she's like, oh, I can't be in an elevator

1:10:04

with people like you. Oh,

1:10:06

my god. Oh, my okay.

1:10:09

So we go to the her

1:10:12

charge station. We can go to her charge

1:10:14

nurse, and we're reporting her, like, this is highly

1:10:16

inappropriate. And another

1:10:18

nurse comes and pulls us to the side and she's like, oh, she doesn't she blatantly says she doesn't

1:10:20

like people with our

1:10:22

skin color. Blatantly every

1:10:24

day.

1:10:25

in the area And I'm like, and that's okay. And

1:10:27

she was like, that sound okay, but I I

1:10:30

hope you ladies, like, take this very far

1:10:32

because she needs

1:10:35

to be stopped. Yeah. So we go

1:10:37

and report her. And when they finally did the whole investigation, they

1:10:39

came back to us, and they said, oh, we apologize

1:10:41

on her behalf. And she was just

1:10:43

having a bad day. She

1:10:46

was just having

1:10:47

a bad day. Yeah. I was like,

1:10:49

well, a lot of bad

1:10:50

days are having, but if I

1:10:53

had a bad day, that would have been No.

1:10:55

It wouldn't have been the same. Mhmm. Yeah. So so

1:10:57

when we reported and we

1:10:59

got to the we

1:11:01

started escalating and we were in that room,

1:11:03

talking about everything. They later after they concluded

1:11:06

it, they were like, you guys need emotional

1:11:08

assistance.

1:11:10

the who did

1:11:11

emotional assistance? The HR, everybody who's sitting there,

1:11:13

they're like everybody needs to respect each other,

1:11:15

and then the people that were

1:11:17

affected were gonna give you guys

1:11:19

some emotional assistance. You

1:11:20

guys need emotional assistance. It's basically

1:11:22

what they say. After everything mhmm. You guys

1:11:26

need emotional assistance. Yes. they don't

1:11:28

need training. No. And then it escalated even more

1:11:30

than that after that. Like, now

1:11:34

we're, like, open book. like, talking about everything. You So

1:11:36

and then next thing, you know,

1:11:38

I'm having my patient one

1:11:42

day. He was not on a nitric machine. So all of a sudden, I go into

1:11:44

the room to do my rounds. I see a

1:11:46

nitric machine. It's on the wrong like,

1:11:48

it's way high of a number. I'm

1:11:51

like, who put this in?

1:11:53

and why is it on this number? And

1:11:55

then I asked the nurse and she's like, oh, one of the artist's came by and did it. like, so

1:11:59

if anything happens, under

1:12:02

the care of that patient. Mhmm. Why

1:12:04

isn't this RT coming back to me and letting me

1:12:06

know? And why are you asking him and he's

1:12:08

doing this for you? You know what I'm saying?

1:12:10

Mhmm. It's like, I'm the RT.

1:12:11

Why didn't you call me? Mhmm. Even if he's around, that

1:12:13

still doesn't does that sound his

1:12:16

patient? You know what I mean? So I go

1:12:18

and I confront him. I'm like, why did you

1:12:20

put this machine on

1:12:22

my patient. Even if it was ordered, the order didn't even come through. There's

1:12:23

no order even though they told you they're supposed

1:12:26

to

1:12:26

be an order. and

1:12:29

it's

1:12:29

on a high setting. And then he's just started, like like, he

1:12:31

was freaked out. Like, because he didn't think

1:12:34

I would approach him. you

1:12:36

know, and I said that's

1:12:38

highly, like, inappropriate and unsafe. And you can get

1:12:41

my license Mhmm.

1:12:43

Like, in trouble. Like, why are you and

1:12:45

then you didn't even report it back to me. You know what

1:12:47

I mean? Mhmm. So

1:12:49

then I had to watch every step. Like, every

1:12:52

day was like, okay. Make sure you watch this.

1:12:54

Make sure you watch this. It was like too

1:12:56

much And

1:12:58

then one day I came in and they gave me

1:13:00

the heaviest assignment, they gave me the OR, they

1:13:02

gave me everything. And then I'm going to

1:13:04

the OR, and there's something that they're asking me

1:13:06

to do, and I don't even know how to do it. You know, I'm asking everybody to help me. offering it out.

1:13:08

And then finally, like, I told the

1:13:11

doctor, like, I don't know. And

1:13:15

you can tell that the manager is

1:13:16

at Zoom because I'm not gonna

1:13:18

try

1:13:18

an experiment with something that I

1:13:21

don't know and I wasn't trained for.

1:13:23

and they can take the responsibility on not training me. That's up to

1:13:25

them. And you can call the RT department and

1:13:27

get somebody he finally called up and they

1:13:30

got someone to do it. You know what

1:13:32

I mean? because now a doctor is

1:13:34

saying to come down, they're gonna listen. You know? So

1:13:36

as we go throughout that and

1:13:38

then I remember I was crying that day.

1:13:42

I there's one of my patients

1:13:44

was coding. Like, that's a run

1:13:46

up right after that. And then,

1:13:49

like, my friend from toobou who's,

1:13:51

like, Is everything okay? Every time you said anything, is everything okay? I

1:13:53

was just balling and balling. And I was

1:13:55

like, no. They did this to me. They did

1:13:57

that. And then I was explaining everything and then

1:13:59

my patient coded. I had to

1:14:01

just wipe my tears and go into the room and plug it out. Like, I have to save this person's life.

1:14:04

And as

1:14:08

in the room, like, doing compressions and everything. I'm

1:14:10

just crying. Oh my gosh. And I'm like, this is not

1:14:12

how I imagine health care to

1:14:14

be. You know what I mean?

1:14:16

and this is not what I'd

1:14:18

like to do. And, you know, especially as finally being

1:14:21

able to take

1:14:23

care of your family and, like -- Yeah.

1:14:25

-- finally having a job where you're able to sustain that, it's like, you

1:14:27

don't wanna, like, push your

1:14:31

family into, like, not having that assistance anywhere. So

1:14:33

you have that in the back of your head, like like, I don't wanna let them

1:14:35

down. You

1:14:36

know

1:14:36

what I

1:14:39

mean? Yeah. So and and that was pressuring me.

1:14:41

Even though I knew I was able to and comfortably able to, like, it was like, I

1:14:44

probably over exaggerated it in my mind

1:14:46

a little too much, but I was,

1:14:48

like, you're

1:14:50

finally grown, you're finally going to work,

1:14:52

you're supposed to let your parents rest. You know

1:14:54

what I mean? Yeah. So I put that pressure

1:14:56

all myself in a sense. So and

1:14:59

then it just kept escalating

1:15:01

more and more. And then I

1:15:03

remember I listened to

1:15:05

a And he was basically talking about, in summary, basically, if you see something

1:15:07

you don't like, that's injustice, like, try to

1:15:09

do it try to change

1:15:11

it with action. your

1:15:15

words. Like, even if you can't do anything, the last thing you should do

1:15:17

is just hate it in your heart. You know?

1:15:19

Yeah. So I was refusing

1:15:22

to leave there because I

1:15:24

knew they're doing this

1:15:26

to us,

1:15:26

healthcare workers. What is being done to the patients? Yeah. Wow.

1:15:28

You know, and these people are

1:15:30

coming into the department talking about

1:15:34

oh, my you would hear the

1:15:36

most ridiculous stories. Like, oh, my

1:15:38

patient looks like a monkey or

1:15:40

oh, they had too many family members,

1:15:42

and they had too much food.

1:15:45

And, like, when it came to,

1:15:47

like, prior to COVID, and

1:15:48

people are allowed to come

1:15:50

to the hospital. And like, a Muslim person was passing away. I don't how do

1:15:52

you still like, the whole always everything

1:15:54

would be packed. It was so beautiful. You know

1:15:56

what I'm saying? They were respectful. They're

1:15:58

in, like, lines and

1:15:59

stuff. Like, understand getting them

1:16:02

to cooperate and not make, you know what I'm saying, chaos. But why are you making

1:16:05

that into a

1:16:08

back thing? in what I'm saying, just

1:16:10

because you don't understand the cultural norms of it. You know? So when we left that situation,

1:16:15

I was, like, applying for jobs,

1:16:16

like, crazy. Like and

1:16:18

then the thing is is they all

1:16:20

talk.

1:16:20

is is they all talk

1:16:22

all the hospitals

1:16:23

are inter all the managers are interconnected with

1:16:25

me. So it's, like, everyone's telling

1:16:27

you, like, oh, this hospital didn't, like, you

1:16:29

best believe you're not getting into another hospital.

1:16:31

Oh my god. You know what

1:16:33

I mean? So it's like they kinda like fear monger do. Like -- Yeah. -- or you're done

1:16:35

for the whole your whole

1:16:39

career, you

1:16:40

know. And I'm over here,

1:16:42

like, they put you on a black list, basically.

1:16:44

So I was applying everywhere, I could not get anything. And then I

1:16:46

applied for a specific job, and I remember this one day.

1:16:50

Like, I was taking a walk after work, and I was like, like,

1:16:52

yeah, a lot. Like, I

1:16:55

understand, like, waiting and patience until

1:16:57

I got out of love, but, like,

1:16:59

this is, like, my cup I've hit

1:17:01

capacity at this point. And I remember that day, like, I

1:17:03

took a screenshot of, like, the the the

1:17:06

area I was walking

1:17:08

in. And I

1:17:10

remember just saying, like, by the time I wake up in the morning, like, I'm putting

1:17:12

in my

1:17:14

final notice. I'm quitting.

1:17:18

Like, this is

1:17:19

it. There has to be another way. Like, I'm

1:17:21

not gonna quit trying to make a

1:17:23

change, but I now I

1:17:25

learned you can't make a

1:17:27

change I just knew I I had to

1:17:29

be done with this. What did your what did your do I sound

1:17:31

like? My do

1:17:33

I it's the power of Yeah. You know what it

1:17:36

sound like? Tell me what it sound like.

1:17:38

It's like when? What what what were those

1:17:40

conversations between you

1:17:42

and all of? I was praying no matter

1:17:44

what, I always pray for you, like,

1:17:46

to protect me and to guide me

1:17:49

based on where he wants me to

1:17:51

have purpose. You know I mean? And to lose

1:17:55

myself in this. You know

1:17:57

what I mean? You know my limits? I

1:17:59

know than way that

1:18:03

I can help loma and change. What's

1:18:05

happening? I'd rather do that than suffering inside. You know what

1:18:08

I mean? And

1:18:10

that morning, I woke

1:18:12

up And I

1:18:14

got the job? No. Well, I

1:18:15

have that. So I it wasn't morning, but morning for

1:18:16

night shifters, you know, and so

1:18:19

Yeah. So I woke up. I

1:18:23

got the job. I was like, no. Like because

1:18:25

we were going through romana

1:18:28

during that time too. Like,

1:18:30

I remember I was praying for

1:18:32

everybody. everybody I knew if you

1:18:34

like, everybody was getting to prayer. Especially that whole department, everybody was getting to prayer.

1:18:36

Yeah. Like, I know we

1:18:38

have our own journeys. Like, if

1:18:42

I'm able to leave, I know someone else is not able

1:18:44

to leave, like, like, guide them, like --

1:18:46

Yeah. -- and protect them. You know what I

1:18:48

mean? And because at the end of the day,

1:18:50

like, imagine you worked so hard. You have licensing. You have

1:18:53

and they come after your livelihood, and it'll

1:18:55

be done. Yeah. In seconds, you know.

1:18:57

So it's very hard. So a hundred

1:18:59

day I woke up. I thought

1:19:01

I was like, I hadn't did that, finally, you know. And then I went

1:19:03

to work and accidentally went to work because they changed my schedule so much. I

1:19:05

didn't even know when I was

1:19:07

working. You know? And

1:19:10

I came in, I guess, a couple hours

1:19:12

early, so they had me stay instead. And

1:19:14

then, I guess, the whole department was talking about

1:19:16

how my schedule was the one that was

1:19:18

getting wrecked. They're like, oh my god. Yes, ma'am. Did you see your schedule? Look what they

1:19:21

did to you? And they know it's bad,

1:19:23

and they know it's wrong, and

1:19:25

they talked to about to you, but they're the

1:19:27

same ones causing the issues. Yeah. That

1:19:29

makes sense. So I went into the

1:19:32

department and then I looked at the schedule

1:19:34

and I just took a pencil and I

1:19:36

put and it's the permanent schedule and it's

1:19:38

like a mark. And I went from my name, all the way from the date that I'm leaving,

1:19:40

and I put a

1:19:43

whole line through it. And then

1:19:45

and everybody's like, what are you doing? I mean, that's the that's the one

1:19:47

they used. What are you doing? Stop. Yeah. I said and I

1:19:49

just kept going

1:19:51

until it ended. And when it

1:19:54

ended and they kept asking her, like, to them, between the

1:19:56

lines.

1:19:59

you you deserve a

1:20:02

movie. You know what? Time movie.

1:20:03

Just xing out your entire schedule in

1:20:05

front of them. We're not

1:20:06

even telling them. No. Just Just

1:20:11

ethically, read between the lines.

1:20:14

Finally, yes, me does

1:20:16

the epic walk

1:20:18

out. out of the hospital that caused there is so much grief

1:20:21

and so much pain.

1:20:23

She can finally start

1:20:26

fresh and leave the past in the past.

1:20:28

But then, at the new

1:20:30

hospital, yes, me as trials

1:20:36

only continued. Yes, mean witnesses. A

1:20:38

nurse make a fatal mistake that kills

1:20:43

the a patient. and she finds

1:20:45

herself caught between a

1:20:47

hospital cover up, a grieving family, and the

1:20:50

survival of her career.

1:20:53

Find

1:20:54

out next week. What happens to yes

1:20:56

mean? yes mean