0:01

تفرق

0:58

اللحن

1:32

نحن نريد أن نتخفى الحوار ونتtermij

1:36

وسوف.. لنستطيع القضاء

1:55

هل هذا الشيئ يقوم باقتقادي؟ حسنا

2:00

As-salamu alaykum wa

2:02

rahmatullahi wa barakatuh.

2:05

It is your sister and friend, Adar,

2:08

and you're listening to the

2:10

Digital Sisterhood Podcast. I

2:14

miss you guys so much.

2:16

I wish I could hug every single

2:19

one of you. First of all, Allah SWT deserves

2:21

all praise for allowing us to be back on the mic

2:24

again. You know the thing I always say

2:26

is there's the best kind of relationships, right? Or

2:29

the relationships you have with people that maybe you haven't heard

2:31

from in a long time. But

2:33

when you guys do see each other, it's like time

2:35

hasn't passed. And I feel that way

2:37

about you guys. Although I haven't seen

2:41

or been on the mic for a very long time, I

2:43

still feel like time hasn't passed. It's

2:46

back like we never left. And

2:48

as you can see, the episode started really differently

2:51

this time around. I

2:53

mean, in the last few months, we've been shaking

2:55

it up Chicago, making

2:58

it better, changing it, like

3:01

figuring out how we want to tell stories in a new way.

3:03

And so we haven't been spending the last few months just

3:06

really enjoying exploring

3:08

our creativity. And so we're really excited to

3:11

bring you some new stuff. And

3:13

just like I said, we started the episode with a really different

3:16

way. We started with a conversation with

3:19

a bunch of Somali aunties having

3:22

a conversation. And for those who aren't

3:24

Somali native speakers, I'm going to explain to you what

3:26

those conversations were. So I love,

3:29

and you guys already

3:32

know, I love gatherings of women. I

3:34

love conversations that are

3:36

being had with women, by women.

3:38

It's just my vibe. I

3:41

remember my mother every around

3:44

like 9 p.m. I remember clockwork after

3:46

she'd put us to bed or

3:48

on weekends, she'd go over to her friend's house that

3:50

wasn't too far off. And they would hang out in a basement

3:53

or in a living room with her friends, just talking

3:55

about life, right? Tell you some of the stories.

3:57

I just distinctly remember. like

4:00

the henna, the oodsi, you

4:03

know, the ood smell, the bahtis,

4:05

like the laughter,

4:08

the conversations, the conversations,

4:10

so many conversations happening all at once and just,

4:13

I just remember, I feel like it was the very first time

4:15

I actually fell in love with

4:18

just sisterhood. Like I feel like that was my first

4:20

introduction if I'm being completely honest.

4:23

So I used to be a nosy

4:25

cat. I remember growing up, they used to call

4:27

me a tape recorder because whatever you told

4:29

me, whatever I heard, I'd go back and

4:31

tell my dad what was said. And

4:34

oftentimes these women would just be talking about their lives, like

4:36

their back of the day. And I remember

4:39

thinking my mom probably didn't think

4:41

I understood what the conversations

4:44

were, but boy did I understand.

4:46

And so let me tell you about these conversations that was had,

4:49

that our producer, Hannah, went to her neighborhood,

4:52

which is very similar in a lot of cultures, having

4:54

a bunch of women talking, having tea, but

4:56

this time they were having conversation about love.

5:00

And they were sharing their love stories and their

5:02

experiences of love. And I remember one of the audsi was saying

5:04

how, you know, she met this guy,

5:06

she fell in love with insamalia. And

5:08

then obviously she left some alia, lost contact

5:11

for years, and then reconnected

5:14

in a new country and got married and had been

5:16

married for 40 years, alamivatik.

5:19

Like what is And I remember

5:21

another auntie on the audio

5:24

was talking about how back in the

5:26

day, and I wish, like, I

5:28

really wish that still occurred

5:30

today. But she was talking

5:32

about how back in the day, obviously

5:34

there wasn't technology in the way there is technology

5:36

today. So people used to send each other like

5:39

love letters, like

5:41

love letter, like people would write like sonnets

5:43

on a piece of paper and mail it to the person

5:46

they were interested in, and they would read it and

5:48

they would come back and then write a letter and then send it back. Like

5:50

she said, that's how we do it. They used to send you letters like

5:53

men would just send you.

5:56

But I wish men still said letters.

5:58

But anyway, and she told me, talked about how

6:00

that was how people

6:03

courted back in the day. And I'm like, wow, we need to

6:05

bring that back. I'm kind of over the DMs

6:07

and the weirdness that happens on technology. I

6:10

feel like when people write letters, it's a bit more personal

6:12

and a bit more intentional, obviously, because it's

6:14

like you're writing a letter. You're writing it down. You're getting ink.

6:17

You're sitting down somewhere. You're thinking about your feelings,

6:19

right? Instead of just shooting the

6:21

first thing on your mind. And then the last

6:23

part, which was my favorite part, because

6:25

they started to break out into singing. Born

6:28

in line high school musical. And they started

6:30

singing about how you're supposed

6:33

to get to know men, right? But if

6:35

they're wasting your time, tell them to hit that road. Jack,

6:37

you get me. Basically, they were saying, if

6:39

he's not fulfilling what you want

6:42

and what you want out of a relationship, if he's not doing

6:44

what he needs to, the irks out

6:47

the door, he goes. And I thought that

6:49

was hilarious and thought about making that my ringtone.

6:51

Still might make my ringtone, to be honest. These

6:54

conversations, I learned a great deal.

6:57

I feel like even at a very young age, I knew

6:59

a lot about relationships and love. Maybe

7:02

somebody my age would know. And so

7:05

obviously, some of the years has passed. And I literally, I

7:07

low-key think, OK? Maybe I'm crazy

7:09

for saying this. And because also I'm a single girl, but

7:12

I feel like low-key, like

7:14

I know a great deal about love. I

7:16

feel like I understand it. And I

7:18

might sound naive saying that. But that's how I

7:20

feel, because I've heard so many

7:23

stories. I've been advised. I've had conversations

7:26

with the OGs, with the girls

7:28

in my age group and younger. I feel

7:30

like I've assessed. I've analyzed.

7:33

I kind of understand how things begin, when

7:35

things get complicated. And so

7:37

I call myself an expert. Maybe

7:41

I shouldn't, but I do. And I'm going to say publicly

7:43

on the microphone that I am an expert of love,

7:46

which is why I thought this year's

7:48

theme, this bundle of a series

7:51

has to be love-tember.

7:54

I mean, we didn't see the one. It was

7:56

a hit. And I thought, you know, it deserves

7:59

a country. back, right? And

8:01

I wanted this time to explore the

8:03

actual word love in all

8:06

its forms. An answer

8:08

as well, some questions I

8:10

had internally about love. And

8:13

even for some of my friends, right, I want this

8:15

to kind of be a piece, a series

8:17

where it kind of answers the questions that we are kind

8:19

of afraid to ask about love. I thought,

8:22

you know what, I'm gonna do for the girls. I

8:24

feel like I might make, I might make the

8:26

bright person to tell you stories because I

8:28

love love and for those who are out there that may

8:30

have given up on love. Well girl,

8:33

let me try to revive it for you. I

8:36

want to start this series with an amazing

8:39

story. I mean the best story

8:42

about love I have ever

8:45

heard personally. A story

8:48

that trumps all love stories. I'm

8:50

not exaggerating. I honestly

8:53

feel like this story came

8:55

to me in the most beautiful of ways, at

8:57

the most beautiful time, in

9:00

the most beautiful place in

9:03

the message, in one of the

9:05

nights of Ramadan. When I think

9:07

about the story all the time, I really think about

9:09

how the fact that I don't even really

9:12

know if the person I met was a real person. Okay,

9:14

hear me out. I know you probably

9:16

think I sound crazy. But let me tell you, like

9:19

I'm not even sure if she was a person. Maybe

9:21

she was an angel. I mean, take

9:24

this in. Imagine meeting somebody

9:26

at a place. They tell you a story that

9:28

rocks your entire universe

9:31

and some more and then disappears.

9:34

Poof, that ish. I'm

9:37

sorry, is that a real person?

9:39

I don't even know. But

9:40

until today, it's still reminisce

9:42

about that story. So it's

9:45

kind of a lonely girl in Ramadan and so I spent that

9:47

time in the message, which you

9:49

know, Hamdulillah, I would say was one of the

9:51

best Ramadan I have ever had in

9:54

my entire life. Because I literally

9:56

spent every day, all 30 days in the

9:59

message. you know, breaking

10:01

fast with Muslims. I did

10:03

know, did not know. It was just such a wholesome

10:06

time for me. And so I'd come, you

10:08

know, a little bit before Maqrib, maybe a

10:10

Asar, I'd come, you know, read

10:12

some Quran, listen to some lectures.

10:15

And alhamdulillah, that masjid, or my masjid, shout

10:17

out to KVW, it had a fasting

10:19

program, like a breaking fast program. So if

10:22

you were on the road or you, you know,

10:24

were breaking fast alone and

10:26

you wanted to do it in a community, you can come to the masjid and

10:28

they would have food there for you. So

10:31

girl, you know, I was there every day, like a

10:33

girl when, you know, no family, nobody

10:35

just by myself, I'm my lonely girl, you

10:37

know, Ramadan, which by the way, was the best Ramadan

10:40

of my entire life. But let me tell you,

10:42

okay, let me get to the story. One day,

10:44

and I want to say with the last 10 nights,

10:47

I think was the first of the last 10 nights.

10:50

I was sitting on the floor. It

10:52

was like maybe like, let's say 30 minutes before

10:55

Maqrib. I was chilling on the

10:57

floor, not in the masala, like in the hallway

10:59

entrance and I might have been reading

11:01

a Quran, I might have been reading a book, I might have been doing something

11:04

beneficial hopefully. And this

11:07

auntie walks in, never seen her before, but I

11:09

didn't pay any really mind of her until

11:12

she grabs the chair. I

11:14

saw her drag the chair and she was dragging it

11:16

towards, she was coming towards me. She

11:19

takes the chair and she puts it beside me. I

11:21

think she's seen me before and I think

11:23

she saw that I was alone. And

11:26

maybe when she looked at me, she saw herself. And

11:28

maybe I had a sad girl face, who knows? Or maybe I just,

11:31

you know, like, you know, and when I think about

11:34

like why she picked to sit with me or tell me her story,

11:36

I really believe it's because she thought I was like,

11:39

I reminded her of her. Alone

11:43

and in worship and maybe a little

11:45

skeptic, maybe

11:47

a little cynical because I will say

11:50

though, there was a time in my life where I just kind

11:52

of was like, and I talked about in my Dua story,

11:54

where there was a period in my life I stopped asking

11:56

a lot for anything. And maybe

11:59

she saw that on me. Or maybe a lost center, I

12:01

don't know. I never see her again. Maybe she was an angel.

12:03

We don't even know. It's the biggest mystery

12:05

of my life. I'm being honest,

12:07

it's the biggest mystery of my entire existence.

12:11

And she told me a story that I have

12:13

held with me ever since. It's

12:15

not what I've ever forgotten. And so

12:18

she comes and she grabs the chair, she puts

12:20

it beside me, and she looks at me, and

12:22

you know, it's kind of like, it really, really

12:25

wet like this. Can I tell

12:27

you a story? And

12:29

I look to her and you know, obviously me guys, you know I like stories,

12:32

okay? If someone's gonna tell me a story, I'm

12:34

going to listen. And so when

12:36

she says it to me, I'm like, oh yes, somebody

12:38

can tell me? Absolutely. So I turn my

12:40

body towards her, and she sits up, she

12:43

looks at me, she's like, okay. Let me

12:45

tell you a story about a time a du'a

12:48

that I had made last Ramadan was accepted.

12:52

And so how many of you says to me, I am 60

12:55

years old. I was married once,

12:58

many, many years ago, and that marriage

13:00

ended in divorce. I was

13:02

never able to have children, and so

13:04

I spent most of my adult years alone. Always

13:07

alone.

13:10

I was a person

13:12

who,

13:13

I wouldn't say was far from Allah subhanahu wa ta'ala, but

13:15

I was just a person that just lived.

13:18

My siblings, you know, lived scattered

13:20

around the world, you know, built their own

13:22

families, and I lived

13:25

alone in Canada here in Toronto. And

13:28

she's like, loneliness never bothered me. I did

13:31

have moments where I feel lonely and this had, but

13:34

how did I was always able to come to community

13:36

or call my friends and really fill

13:39

those gaps? And so if

13:41

I did feel lonely, it wasn't for too long.

13:44

Until one year, I started

13:46

to embark on a new journey,

13:48

and that new journey was getting close to Allah subhanahu

13:51

wa ta'ala. I wanted

13:53

to be close to Allah, I wanted, you

13:55

know, to learn Quran, I wanted to be in the

13:57

masjid as often as I could.

13:59

And...

13:59

And when I started to learn about Allah more, I started

14:02

to feel differently

14:05

about the things that I wanted out of life. I

14:07

thought living alone, you know, making

14:09

my own meals, having a routine was enough.

14:12

But when you learn about your religion and you learn

14:14

about the life after this life

14:16

and you learn just about everything

14:18

you need to know in order to live a life that you are happy

14:21

with, you start to change

14:23

the things that you want out of life. Now

14:26

I've always wanted to go to Umrah. That

14:28

was something that was always on my bucket list. Matter

14:30

of fact, I regretted not going

14:33

to Umrah with my first husband, that

14:35

I didn't take it seriously and I didn't make

14:37

it a requirement at the time.

14:40

And by the time I got divorced, I really

14:42

just was in my own head and I was really just enjoying my

14:44

independence. And I was just okay

14:47

with the peace that I had. But

14:49

I started to learn the Quran and I started to learn

14:51

the experiences that people were having,

14:54

you know, going to pilgrimage and experiencing

14:56

that. I started to feel this longing, this

14:59

desire, this intense desire to go. But

15:03

the only problem is, is that I

15:06

didn't have anyone to go with. And

15:10

so I tried to make up a plan. I

15:12

called my brothers, I called my uncles,

15:14

I called all my male relatives

15:17

I had and I said, can

15:19

you take me to Umrah? I really want to

15:21

go. I will cover all the costs.

15:24

Just take me, it's my time and

15:26

I really want to spend it worshiping Allah. But

15:29

unfortunately, my uncles, my brothers, you know, they

15:31

have their own families, they have their own minds, they

15:33

have their own schedules and they weren't really able to take me.

15:36

And every time I tried to plan, something

15:39

would happen and it would all fall through. It

15:42

made me feel really sad because

15:44

I started to feel like maybe

15:47

Umrah is impossible for me. Maybe

15:49

it wasn't in the cards for

15:52

me. This

15:54

thing I wanted to do so badly,

15:57

so much, maybe

15:59

it is something I'll be able to do

16:02

and that scared me and

16:04

So she explains to me that it really put

16:06

in this really deep depression because

16:09

now she has this intense

16:11

longing to know Allah and

16:13

to love Allah and she's really on the journey

16:15

what feels like She's on alone

16:18

She's realizing in a part of the experiences to do

16:20

with others. But what if you don't have

16:22

anyone and So when my

16:25

mom came at the perfect time as

16:27

she explains to me and no longer

16:29

felt safe for her to be at home She

16:32

just feel the lonely just loneliness

16:34

to take over her And so she had decided

16:36

to come to the message to break

16:37

her fast and to break in community and

16:40

hope to keep

16:41

The dark thoughts the negative thoughts at bay.

16:43

So she said to some I'm going to

16:45

ask Allah for the impossible things Right.

16:47

I'm going to ask a lot of things that trouble

16:49

me the things I truly truly

16:52

want And so I asked Allah

16:55

for a companion. I was asking

16:57

Allah for love Love that was

16:59

more than just transactional

17:01

love that was more than just Romantic

17:04

but love that felt like

17:06

Allah was the center of everything they did and

17:08

they supported one another and they

17:11

accompanied one another And

17:13

although at the time she's like I really kind

17:15

of gave up on love at that point And

17:18

I didn't think that maybe love suited me because

17:20

what could I really offer? How

17:22

Raha will wanted she wanted to

17:24

perfect her faith But what

17:27

does that look like for a woman in her

17:29

late 60s early 70s? How

17:32

possible is it to find love at that

17:34

age? When people

17:36

think at that point you should accept

17:39

however life has turned out for you It's

17:42

not the time to dream Thought

17:44

time to grow you've grown enough But

17:47

that's our experiences as humans. We're always growing

17:50

until we pass But

17:52

for Rama that moment like this deep desire

17:55

to like, you know go to Amra and find

17:57

a companion to grow in her deep to to

18:00

safeguard herself with someone, to

18:02

spend whatever time she has left. You

18:04

know, it just wasn't something she could shake off.

18:07

And it started with when she started

18:10

to learn her face, is when that desire

18:12

started to really place root

18:14

in her heart.

18:18

But she couldn't ignore those thoughts, man, like those thoughts that

18:20

we all have, right? Those, those like, oh,

18:22

how's that gonna work? Or who's gonna marry you and

18:25

who's gonna, it's real. It's real for everybody.

18:27

No matter how old you are, what age you are, what place you're at, no

18:30

matter what. That thought

18:32

in your head, those voices in your head telling you can't,

18:34

they're real. And they're loud.

18:37

When she says to me, you know, I asked a law

18:39

for the thing that I felt was impossible. At my age,

18:41

felt almost merely impossible.

18:44

Like if I were to tell somebody, oh, I'm asking

18:46

a law, you know, for a companion at,

18:49

you know, 68 years old, nearly 70,

18:51

I think they would look at me

18:53

and say, maybe,

18:56

you know, maybe that error is done for

18:58

you. Maybe ask for something else. And

19:01

she's like, but you know what? You know, nothing is impossible

19:03

for a law. And that's the truth. So I asked

19:05

a law and I asked him many times. I

19:08

asked again and again and

19:10

again. And then every time

19:12

I talked about it, every time I asked a law for it,

19:15

I would get more emotional about it.

19:17

Like I was pleading with the law.

19:20

Please make a way for me. Open

19:22

doors for me.

19:23

I have nobody else but you. I'm alone

19:25

in this. And she's

19:27

like, I asked a law and I asked and I asked.

19:30

I never got tired of asking.

19:33

She said, even when I got tired, like when I physically

19:35

couldn't even ask anymore, I felt like my tears

19:37

asked. My,

19:40

you know, moments of silence asked. My heart asked.

19:43

She's like, I won't even lie. That was the most powerful

19:47

and productive of all that I have ever had. And

19:49

I always feel like it was the pain that I felt that

19:52

month that really drove me. If

19:56

I didn't feel those feelings, that sadness, that

19:58

kind of like, you know, covered I

20:00

don't know if I would have been, you know, as open

20:03

and as vulnerable as I was during that

20:05

month. And

20:15

in the last 10 nights, I

20:18

asked Allah in a way I've never

20:20

asked.

20:22

I begged him.

20:24

I begged him to provide me clarity,

20:27

understanding, to remove the feeling.

20:31

Will I remove this desire if

20:33

I can't have it? Remove

20:35

it. I don't want it. And Allah, if

20:38

it is for me, if I have these feelings for

20:40

a reason, make a way for me. Open

20:42

doors for me. Will I want

20:44

to come to your house? I

20:46

want to worship you the way that you deserve to be worshipped.

20:50

I want to do it the right way. I want to perfect my

20:52

faith. But this is where

20:54

I'm at. These are my crossroads. And

20:57

Allah, I submit to you. So

21:03

Ramadan ends, Eid

21:05

comes, she celebrates it, she goes back

21:07

to work, back to life, and

21:10

she moves on. She's like, I still,

21:12

you know, she's like, at the time of the time of Allah, she's like, Allah

21:14

gave me hope. Because even after Ramadan

21:17

ended, she's like, there was this lingering optimism

21:20

that couldn't really quite shake off. I didn't come back home

21:22

sad or in despair, but there was this hopefulness

21:25

I felt as if my soul

21:27

knew that Allah accepted or that something

21:30

was going to come soon. I didn't know what

21:32

it was, but I felt lighter. I felt,

21:34

I just felt the sense of optimism.

21:36

I can't quite tell you what it was. But she's

21:39

like, it's something I just, I felt sure of. And

21:43

she said, and then one day I get the news of a friend

21:45

whose husband passed away. And

21:47

when I came to give condolences, she's

21:50

like, I recognize that the people,

21:53

as a jinnah, weren't just people from the city I

21:55

live in, or people that were traveled from all

21:57

over. And as I was exiting,

22:00

my friend's home, I

22:02

bumped into a face I recognize. And

22:06

as I tried to make out his face, I see that

22:08

he's already smiling. He approaches

22:10

me and he says,

22:12

Rahama?

22:13

I look at him and I squint a little bit and

22:15

then I realize, oh my God,

22:18

it is a guy I used to know back in

22:21

Somalia

22:22

who I

22:23

think had a crush on me, I

22:25

think I had a crush on him, I am not even

22:27

totally sure. But there

22:29

was a liking between us that

22:32

never really got to season, that

22:35

we never really got to explore

22:38

because the war happened and our

22:40

families had to flee and we just lost

22:42

connection.

22:43

And here he was in front of me, gray-haired,

22:48

still had the same likeness about him, same

22:50

demeanor, but you can tell that life

22:52

happened. He looks at me and I look at

22:54

him, we smile at each other, I'm like, oh my God, when's the last time

22:57

I saw you? He's like, you know,

22:59

Subhanallah was 19, you

23:02

know, 80 something or 19, 70 something. And

23:05

they started talking about timelines and the last time

23:07

they saw each other and they recognized and see each other

23:10

until maybe a little bit after the war. And

23:13

Subhanallah at that point, life settled them

23:15

in different places and he had settled in the US. They

23:18

started telling her about like, what happened

23:20

with him and start updating their

23:22

lives quickly. He tells her that, you

23:24

know, I ended up in America, I

23:27

got married, I had four children,

23:29

alhamdulillah, they're grown, they have their own children,

23:32

so I'm a grandfather now. And

23:34

he's giving her like updates and he's doing it with

23:36

so much, you know, love in his eyes. And

23:38

this is the part that like Farahima

23:41

was, as she explained to me, it was the most difficult

23:43

part of reconnecting with people because,

23:45

you know, her life update to

23:48

others might be a difficult

23:50

one, might be a hard one to share. And

23:52

so he says to her naturally after sharing his own,

23:55

I mean, he's like, where did you go? And I

23:57

saw you as had kids and she's like,

23:59

Yes, I

24:02

did get married,

24:03

but I'm no longer married. And

24:05

I wasn't able to have children.

24:08

And she was waiting for the like, I'm sorry.

24:10

And you know, the natural response

24:13

that people might have to hearing about

24:15

how life turned out for her. But instead he says to

24:17

her, Alhamdulillah, I'm

24:20

sure Allah gave you a good life either

24:23

way. And she responds to him and she

24:25

says, he did Alhamdulillah. He

24:27

says to her, well, before you leave, I really would

24:29

like to like, you know, catch up with you because I'm

24:31

going to be here for a few weeks before I go

24:33

back. Can I get your number? And

24:36

this is the part that I thought it's okay because Hovra-Rihan was saying, I

24:38

felt like a 16 year old girl because, you

24:41

know, when was the last time a guy asked my number?

24:43

When was the last

24:45

time a guy asked for my number? She's like, it felt like he

24:48

teleported me back to when I was 16 years old. And

24:50

all of a sudden I'm getting shy, but she's like, I'm sure

24:52

he just wants to, you know, check on my wellbeing

24:55

and all that. And I'm sure he probably won't even call.

24:57

And she's giving herself excuses as to why he's asking her for

24:59

a number or maybe he just didn't know what to do after. But

25:02

she's like, I gave him my number and he

25:04

took it and he said, inshallah, I will call. And

25:07

she's like, as I was walking away, I just kept thinking,

25:09

is he going to? Will he call? If

25:13

so, Brahma goes back to her regular

25:15

life, right? She goes back to her regular routine,

25:18

except this time is a bit different. She's

25:20

doing a regular routine, but she's looking at her phone

25:23

like, when is he going to call? And

25:25

let me tell you, no matter how old

25:27

we are or where we're from,

25:30

women are all the same. Brahma

25:33

was the king. Oh

25:34

my God, he hasn't called me yet. One day

25:36

passes, the second day passes, four

25:39

day passes, a day, 14

25:41

days passes and

25:44

he hasn't called. And I'm almost

25:46

thinking, man, like, you

25:48

know, why didn't he call? Why didn't he call?

25:51

Maybe he's not interested. Maybe, you

25:53

know, maybe I'm just overthinking

25:56

this and starts to like, tell

25:58

herself, like, why don't I even like. hope

26:00

for this. I'm so annoyed with myself.

26:02

I'm 68 years old. When

26:05

am I going to grow up? And

26:08

he calls finally on the 15th

26:11

day. It was a day she didn't.

26:13

At that point, I decided he was never going to call

26:15

and she's like, let me not even

26:17

assume anymore. And I was right to

26:19

think that she probably just took my number just to take

26:22

it. So one night when

26:24

she got back from her outing,

26:27

she hears her phone ring. And she goes through her

26:29

phone. She picks it up and she says, hello.

26:32

And he responds with,

26:36

She's like, why are you so.

26:38

And he says to her,

26:40

why don't you honey, it's me.

26:43

And she's like, I just looked at the phone like,

26:46

he's calling me now. 15 days later.

26:50

She's like, I was like, I was like,

26:52

there's no way. There's no way he's calling me 15

26:55

days later. And she's like, but I still

26:57

wanted to hear what he had to say. And

27:00

she's like, ha,

27:02

I haven't heard from you. I didn't know if you

27:04

were going to call. And he's like, Oh, he

27:06

was like, if I'm being honest,

27:09

he's like, I didn't know if you wanted to hear from me. He's

27:12

like, the last few days I've been debating if, you

27:15

know, it was right to call you. And

27:17

she's like,

27:18

why would you think it wasn't?

27:21

And she's like, he got shy and then

27:23

tried to change the subject. She's

27:25

like, so I let him, I let him change the subject. Cause I really

27:27

didn't know where he was taking with that. And so

27:30

naturally he starts asking me how my day

27:32

was. I asked him about how his day was.

27:34

We had a couple of back and forth. He asked me about

27:37

my uncles and my family and why certain

27:39

things, like where we ended up and what

27:41

happened. And we didn't, and then we started to go down

27:43

memory lane. It was just a pleasant conversation. And

27:46

when it got late, we hung up graciously

27:49

and he said to me, I'll call you tomorrow.

27:51

For some reason I felt like he was going

27:54

to coil me tomorrow. Like he wasn't going to not

27:56

call me. And so the next thing he does the same thing.

27:58

He calls and we. have a pleasant

28:00

conversation because this time didn't pass. He was still

28:02

that guy in Somalia

28:04

and I was still that girl in Somalia. It was like nothing

28:08

had passed between us. So how long? And

28:11

I asked him, I said, um,

28:13

how's your wife? You know, is she with

28:16

you? I'd like to talk to her. He

28:18

sat in the third and he pauses. He pauses

28:20

for a while and he says to her, um,

28:23

I'm no longer

28:23

married.

28:25

Me and my wife had divorced five

28:27

years ago. And so I've been living alone,

28:30

um, killing, traveling

28:32

every now and then, visiting family. Um,

28:36

and so yeah, I haven't, I haven't been married for a long

28:38

time. And she was like, I

28:40

was so shocked. I literally like,

28:43

what, what are you, you're not married. He's

28:45

like, yeah. He's like, I thought I mentioned

28:47

this. He's like, no, you didn't mention it. He's

28:50

like, okay. I thought I assumed you would

28:52

know since I asked for your number. And

28:54

she started thinking, Oh my God, you know, like,

28:56

what if, like, what if we, you know, got married?

28:59

And she's like, Oh my God, it's such a crazy idea

29:01

to think, why would he want to marry me? You know,

29:03

I'm sure he just wants to keep his peace

29:05

and who gets married at 70 something

29:07

anyways, she's making all these excuses as

29:09

to, um, why he would

29:13

never propose, right? But

29:15

you couldn't even explain why he kept calling

29:17

either. Right. But anyways,

29:20

one day things took a turn. When

29:22

I called her and he picks, he calls

29:24

and he says, so I like him, I have

29:26

something to tell you. And

29:29

he says to her and she says to him, okay. Yeah.

29:31

Tell me like, what's going on? He's like, okay.

29:35

Please forgive me if this is like,

29:38

you know, not what you're hoping.

29:40

And maybe I'm insane,

29:42

but it's all there with me. I

29:46

have loved you my entire

29:48

life. I

29:50

have thought about you for a very long

29:52

time. I never imagined

29:56

that Allah would allow our path to

29:58

cross, but here we are. I'm

30:02

single, you're single, and

30:05

I cannot imagine life without you. Can

30:08

I have your hand in marriage? Will

30:11

you marry me? At

30:13

this point, I was going to imagine,

30:15

you know my lover girl, in my lover girl era, I'm

30:18

obsessed with the story already. I

30:21

think I already had tears in my eyes, and I just thought,

30:23

Raha's not even talking to me anymore. Like

30:26

at some point of her storytelling, she started to look in

30:28

the distance, and she can still remember that

30:30

moment, and that moment meant

30:32

so much to her. And as she goes

30:35

quiet, and she looks down, it's

30:38

like her face changed, and

30:40

she says, and I responded to him

30:42

in a way that I regret, but

30:44

it was truthful to me. Instead

30:47

of immediately saying, yes, yes,

30:49

yes, instead I said

30:51

to him, what would you want to

30:53

do with a woman like me? My

30:56

beauty has faded. I don't

30:58

have the same energy as I used to. I

31:00

can barely stand to cook longer

31:03

than 15 minutes, and I

31:05

can't bear you any children. Why

31:07

would you want to marry a woman like that? My

31:10

heart shattered here in

31:12

her say that. And I can tell that when

31:14

she had said that part to me, it shattered

31:17

her too. Not that she, you know,

31:19

she's saying this to the person that she loves, but she's

31:21

saying this because that's how she felt

31:23

at the time. And he says to

31:26

her, I'm not marrying you for your beauty,

31:29

nor that if you can bear children for me, or marrying

31:32

you to cook for me. I'm marrying

31:34

you because I want you to be my

31:36

companion in this life and

31:38

the next. The

31:41

part of what Abdukani said

31:43

that was so beautiful for me to hear that

31:45

really brought tears to my eyes was he

31:48

used the word companion. The

31:51

same word Habirahma used

31:53

when she was making dua'at Allah. Oh

31:56

Allah, grant me a companion. And it's

31:58

the same word he used to comfort her. to

32:00

marry him. The biggest sign

32:03

you can see that this, this

32:06

moment was the acceptance of the dua

32:08

she had made.

32:13

And at the time I know of Rahmah was like well it's not exactly everything

32:15

you know she made dua for a companion yes that's one part

32:18

of the event right? But still

32:20

it's still a part that Allah accepted and

32:23

I can only imagine how overdrawed

32:25

she had felt. Allah Subhanallah

32:28

the way Allah Subhanallah allows things to happen

32:30

in our lives right? It's almost

32:33

it feels as though that when Allah

32:35

Subhanallah accepts things accept dua as

32:37

from us it's out of love. It's

32:39

out of love for us so much

32:42

so that like in the the

32:44

moment that dua is being accepted

32:47

you can feel Allah Subhanallah because

32:50

how can you describe of the

32:52

Qani using the language that

32:55

she had used when she asked Allah

32:57

from his bounty. So

33:02

you're probably wondering right now in the story is like what

33:04

does a you know a Muslim

33:07

you know couple in their late you know 60s

33:09

early 70s this beautiful

33:11

moment of two people that want to get to marry look like right?

33:14

Well let me tell you so

33:16

it was very simple may Allah Subhanallah bless

33:18

the book you know at that

33:21

age you just when you know you know it

33:23

was very clear from this is the thing they wanted and they were

33:25

gonna go for it and so when she

33:27

accepted his proposal she

33:30

sends her uncle and and she tells

33:32

me a little funny story about when she called

33:34

her uncle she's like oh and this

33:37

is her dad's brother because she called her dad's

33:39

brother he calls her he says hi

33:42

uncle and he's like how are you long time yeah I

33:44

decided to start and she says I need your

33:46

help

33:46

and

33:49

he's like yeah

33:51

what can I help you with she's like I'm going to get

33:53

married and his name's of the Qani

33:56

and her uncle was you know he wasn't taken

33:59

back at all he was like wow this is amazing I'm

34:01

happy for yes yes yes

34:04

who is he and I'm like oh he's a guy used to

34:06

know Somalia he's going to call

34:08

you he's like okay and sha'al let him come so

34:11

he hangs up you know Abukani calls his

34:13

uncle turns out you know they

34:15

used to know each other or their parents you know he used

34:17

to know his parents and you

34:20

know he's overjoyed by it they

34:22

confirm the mehir and

34:24

he says to Abukani I give you my daughter essentially

34:27

for good inshallah we also

34:29

said bless your union you have my approval

34:31

so nobody calls for Hamid he says listen

34:34

we're gonna go to message on Wednesday we're gonna

34:36

tell the imams that we want to get married to the next

34:38

day on Thursday after Makkadim

34:40

feeding the fasting inshallah and

34:43

we can go home that evening as husband and wife

34:45

what do you think and she's like I've

34:48

never said yes faster in my life yes

34:50

let's do it she's like it was just so strange

34:53

I had to find an outfit I had to call my friends

34:55

I had to you know figure out something that was really nice

34:57

and you know it was just like it was just I

35:00

could not believe what was happening in

35:02

my life like I could not believe I'd

35:04

found my person and here I was

35:07

you know wearing something

35:09

to my wedding and

35:11

halas I'm gonna be a married woman and

35:15

in a day she's like I just could not believe

35:17

it all I kept saying that day was just

35:19

an alhamdulillah Allah so generous

35:21

Allah so generous Allah so kind to me

35:24

so Wednesday is a

35:26

day that I'm gonna go to the Masjid and tell the imam

35:28

to arrange their nik'ah on a Thursday night

35:31

bad al makhrib so they both

35:34

come to the message separately they

35:36

met upstairs and if you know my local Masjid

35:39

the men section have their own door the women section has

35:41

their own door and there's

35:43

a curtain upstairs in

35:46

front of the imams offices that segregate

35:48

soo men and women and so when

35:50

she came upstairs and she's on her side of the curtain

35:52

she didn't know he was there until he signaled

35:55

and said you know and like he cost

35:57

and so she knew he was on the other side of

35:59

the So he goes into the imam's

36:02

office, he calls the imam out, the imam comes

36:04

out, and he looks at both of them and

36:06

he says, um, how can I help you guys?

36:09

And he's like, um, I'd like to arrange something

36:11

tomorrow. And he's like, uh,

36:13

yeah, um, are we arranging a jenaza?

36:17

Are you arranging the body to be here? Like what exactly are

36:19

we arranging? And he's like, no, no, no,

36:21

not of that. I

36:23

would like to arrange our nikah. And

36:26

she explains to me, I don't know how he says it, the imam's

36:29

face lit up. He literally was like, oh,

36:31

you guys are getting married? Yes. You

36:34

guys are getting married? Absolutely. When

36:36

would you like to get married? Tomorrow after

36:39

muklev, we'd like to like feed the fasting.

36:42

Um, and we'd like it to happen then, uh,

36:44

on the eve of jenba. Imam's

36:47

like, beautiful. Absolutely.

36:50

I will support you guys in it. Shallah. We'll,

36:53

we'll try to decorate the mess in a little bit to make it festive

36:55

for you guys. You guys can arrange

36:57

the food in shallah. It will happen after

36:59

muklev here tomorrow. And

37:02

she's like, it was such a surreal

37:04

moment. Like even when the imam walked

37:06

away, he had a little bit of pepper for step. Like he, he

37:08

was, you know, it was an unexpected,

37:11

um, conversation, but it was one that made him happy

37:14

and it reflected how happy we were. And

37:17

so when that was done, I lingered

37:20

around the curtain, um, to hear if he would say

37:22

anything to me. And he says to me, wait, before

37:24

you leave, I have to give you something.

37:30

He just sticked out his hand and

37:32

in his hand was an envelope. At

37:35

this point she's like, you know, I've gotten everything

37:37

I ever wanted. She's like, I thought that,

37:39

you know, alhamdulillah, like Allah has given me exactly

37:41

what I, what I wanted. And

37:44

she said, but yeah, Allah sometimes had more for

37:46

me. And she said,

37:48

he sticks out his hand and has a hand envelope

37:50

and then he says to me, open it. And

37:52

she goes, I open it. I take

37:54

it out. It's like a printed ticket

37:57

and on a ticket is mine. name,

38:01

his name,

38:02

and it says a

38:04

ticket

38:05

to Mecca. A

38:07

ticket not only to Mecca, but a ticket

38:09

to Medina, and that we were

38:11

going to Umrah. Essentially what was what was said

38:13

on that document that we were going to Umrah. And

38:15

she's like, I couldn't even contain myself.

38:18

I started to instantly start crying.

38:21

Because the part that like, she's

38:23

like, that really like blew it

38:25

for me was I didn't even tell him that

38:27

I wanted to go to Umrah. I didn't

38:29

even tell him that he was an answer to that

38:32

I had made the Ramadan that had just passed.

38:34

Allah Sallallahu

38:36

Alaihi Wasallam was allowing, you know, all of

38:38

these things to be presented to me. But

38:40

it was genuine. He

38:43

had no idea. He had no idea I wanted to go Umrah. I

38:45

had no idea I was going to find my person. It was just all

38:47

of it was happening before my

38:50

eyes. And I just instantly started crying.

38:52

She's a guy that hadn't cried that he just looked at me like

38:54

he was on the other side of the crowd.

38:55

He can hear me sobbing. He's like, I'm sorry, are you okay?

38:58

When I was able to like say something, when Habrah was

39:00

able to say something, she's like, I had

39:02

to set to him and like my broken voice.

39:05

I asked Allah if

39:07

he can open a door for me to go to Umrah. And

39:10

I could go with my companion and Allah gave me just

39:12

that and more. A

39:16

woman who is in her late 60s, who

39:19

thinks he has nothing left to offer

39:21

anyone or the world, who

39:23

may felt insignificant or invaluable.

39:26

But at that moment, I felt like the most valuable person

39:29

in the world and deserving. There

39:32

was only a lot that made me feel that way.

39:34

I was sobbing at this point, like,

39:36

like ugly girl, crying.

39:40

And I remember when she had just finished that

39:42

point, it was kind of like movie-esque guys. I might even

39:44

lie to you. It was like the best story I've ever

39:46

heard. And it was happening at the message. And

39:48

we're just still waiting for the advent. And as

39:50

soon as she had said that part, you just hear the ad that a muk ad

39:53

just go off. Okay, that just

39:55

like, just imagine Allah and the whole

39:58

ad that's happening. And I'm getting chills around. And

40:00

she says to me, I just want to tell you one thing. And the

40:02

reason why I tell you this story. Do

40:04

not despair in the mercy of Allah. Subhana wa

40:06

sallam. Do not, do

40:09

not. Well, you ask from Allah,

40:12

make it grandiose, make it huge, make

40:15

it something that you feel like, you

40:17

know, you know, it's possible, but it's just hard

40:19

to conceptualize. Believe in Allah that

40:22

much, believe in Allah that much. And

40:24

ask from His bounty to be intense

40:27

to give it to you. Ask for Him, especially

40:29

in the last few nights. Ask

40:31

Allah, ask Allah in the way you've never asked Allah

40:34

in your entire life. Open

40:37

yourself to that. And

40:39

I'm looking at her and she just smiles at me, she

40:42

gets up, but she closes her chair and she enters

40:44

the Musallah. I'm just sitting there in

40:46

just awe. She

40:49

just changed my

40:51

entire life.

40:54

Not to be dramatic, but to be dramatic.

40:57

Because that is the most beautiful love story I've

40:59

ever heard. Like ever,

41:01

ever, ever, ever heard. And we're talking about, I

41:04

am blown away.

41:08

And let me tell you why I'm really blown away. Okay, I really

41:10

want to paint you guys a picture why I'm really blown away by this. Because

41:13

before this moment, before this story,

41:16

I was a girl who loved

41:18

the idea of love, loved seeing

41:20

the manifestations of it. I mean, like I've watched

41:23

every wrong comment out there. Okay,

41:25

I've read every Tyler book in grade

41:27

A. I am a serial

41:30

lover of love. But there's something

41:32

that I've always struggled with in my entire

41:34

life. Was I could not not in my entire life, particularly

41:37

when I became more conscious of Allah in my entire life. And

41:39

obviously my life changed drastically

41:41

where I centralized and understand Allah

41:44

in such a big way, a main character

41:46

in my life. I've always felt a little

41:48

disconnected with obviously Hollywood's version

41:50

of love. Right, because in all of their

41:52

stories, in all of their books, it

41:55

doesn't include a lot at all. A lot

41:57

is not involved in every love story

41:59

I've yet.

41:59

to hear. I've never seen it before.

42:02

And

42:03

for a long time I felt like I

42:05

liked the idea of love, I never really could imagine

42:07

it for myself. Which I feel like is probably

42:10

the reason why I was never able to really formulate

42:13

a du'a about marriage. And I'm admitting something

42:15

that's pretty awkward, maybe

42:17

pretty odd for me to say. But up

42:19

until that moment, after hearing Abraha's story, was

42:22

the very first time I walked in

42:24

right after her in the masala and

42:26

I made du'a for marriage. Before that,

42:28

I don't think I ever did that. Maybe

42:31

I did it in like off a whim or when people make

42:33

du'a for me I just say, I mean, but

42:35

I've never like at that point sat down,

42:37

raised my hand, and intentionally

42:39

made du'a in finding my person. That's

42:43

how impactful that story was. Because

42:46

for the very first time, I could imagine

42:48

myself

42:49

in a love story

42:51

because of HaRahma. HaRahma has single-handedly

42:55

decimated a genre for me that I

42:57

held, I guess very dear, and

43:00

created a new genre I like

43:02

to call a halal love story.

43:04

It's a love story that Allah put the

43:06

barakah in it. Because Allah's rahmatullahi

43:09

ala always has and will always be

43:11

the source of love. I

43:14

mean, his name is Al-Wadud after all.

43:16

The most loving, the beloved, the one

43:18

who is faithful to his servants and

43:20

shows them the purest form of

43:23

love. That is what season

43:25

three is going to be all about, or

43:27

the ending of season three. What love-temper

43:29

is going to be all about is for us

43:32

to understand what true love is, to

43:34

recognize when we see it, and

43:36

to understand the manifestations of love

43:38

in our lives today. From

43:41

being honest, this entire podcast

43:43

pretty much is a love's letter to Allah. And

43:46

if you're listening to this and thinking, when

43:48

will be my time? When will I experience

43:51

true love? When will I know love?

43:53

Even after hearing HaRahma's story, and

43:56

you're just asking yourself still, is there

43:59

still Hope for me. Is

44:01

there still hope? My answer to

44:03

you is this. There is

44:05

always hope for love. Still.

44:11

Before I let you guys go, I have to

44:13

give a warm thank you to the wonderful

44:15

team that produced this episode and when I tell

44:18

you they smashed it, I mean they smashed

44:20

it, and you already know how I feel about shout outs, I have

44:22

to give a shout out. So I have to give a shout out

44:24

to our guest producer that

44:26

produced this episode. So listen

44:28

up, Delahi, you actually smashed

44:31

the girl. I am so

44:33

impressed by how you did this episode. Congratulations.

44:36

It was 10 out of 10. If I say so

44:38

myself. I also love to give

44:39

a shout out to our lead producer, the new

44:42

girl on the team,

44:43

Hannah Avin. Girl,

44:46

the little things that you put into this, how you did

44:48

it, how you put it together was phenomenal.

44:50

I'm so excited to see what you're going to do in the future.

44:53

I also love to give a shout out to our guest

44:55

writer,

44:55

our first ever

44:57

guest writer, because you know now we got a writer's

44:59

team, Naioma Arista, Alama

45:02

Bhatta. When I tell you you brought these words together, I mean

45:04

you brought these words together, Alama Bhatta. Shout

45:07

out to you sis. I also love to give a shout out to Wasi

45:10

Laffada on the graphic design and

45:12

cover art. Oh man,

45:14

I don't even know how you're not doing

45:16

everybody's art yet. We're little key

45:19

gatekeeper. Don't take it from us. Wasi Laffada, you

45:21

did that girl. I also love to give a shout out

45:23

to our project manager, the second new girl.

45:26

Actually the third new girl on the block, because

45:28

Naioma is also a new girl, but the third girl

45:30

on the block is Meheen Khan. You

45:32

know, you got us all

45:35

the way together girl. It's like getting both talks. You know when you get

45:37

it all the way together, you got us all the way together.

45:39

Just like Alama Bhatta, Meheen, for all the stuff that you did, phenomenal.

45:42

Can't wait to see what you're going to do in the future. I also

45:45

love to give a shout out to our sound designer, Yousuf

45:47

Duazu. You killed it. You

45:50

added your spice and brought

45:52

the story. He brought it to life. Alama

45:54

Bhatta, shout out to you man. And our

45:56

last definitely not least marketing

45:59

extraordinaire. Number one

46:01

and number two, Sosun Abdulahi, Jazakul

46:04

Khay for all that you do. Thank you

46:06

everybody, thank you to the team. You guys killed

46:08

it. If you enjoyed today's

46:10

episode, know that tons

46:12

of hours, blood, sweat, tears

46:15

have gone into it. In fact, we have

46:17

a whole new team of

46:19

writers, producers, project

46:22

managers. I mean, it's a whole new team.

46:25

This means that donations and support to

46:27

help us keep going really goes a long

46:29

way. If you can't donate, then we

46:32

appreciate your joys, messages,

46:34

and kind words. I'm

46:37

not a writer, I'm a writer.

46:39

I'm a writer. I'm a

46:42

writer. I'm a

46:45

writer. Alright,

46:48

that's it y'all. I will see you as

46:50

per use next week

46:53

in your ears, in your speakers, telling

46:55

you a good story.

47:27

Thank you.