0:30

yeah the voices you're not quite my

0:33

long as i was doing their damnedest

0:35

to keep me silence wisely

0:38

probably but here i am

0:40

managing to do another possesses weeks so

0:43

really wanted to do thanks for the feedback

0:45

about last week's it

0:48

disgusts you know what's going on on

0:50

the far right and what the saudis they

0:53

do this week we're

0:56

gonna have a critique of

0:58

liberal maternity city for way

1:00

louise perry the

1:02

the writer and longtime

1:04

campaign against sexual violence this

1:08

year she cofounded a nonpartisan

1:10

feminists think tank will

1:12

the other half

1:14

there's she serves as research director

1:18

the first book

1:19

the without i will be case

1:22

against the sexual revolution a

1:25

new guy to sex in the twenty first

1:27

century louise thank you so much

1:30

becoming own the disaster

1:33

the into the here

1:34

and you're english

1:36

obviously meaningless yeah yeah

1:38

the the book is out here just as

1:40

formerly is in the uk

1:43

me where did you grow up in england

1:45

and and what was your background

1:46

so i'm my parents australian

1:49

actually saw him and sometimes told i have a

1:51

very sly australian accent know that's

1:53

a controversial point models and send him

1:55

on his his but his was born here

1:57

in london and said listen and and pretty

1:59

much

1:59

nice and

2:02

the i turned my back and as being very boring

2:04

for a spade a spade everyone's exactly normal

2:06

i shouldn't say consists of be name

2:09

a happy stable middle class

2:11

upbringing assault as a lamb and most academic

2:14

say that point of my biography that is probably

2:16

my the comes i spent into book

2:18

is i did and policy and women's studies

2:21

at university then after

2:23

i left i worked at a rate crisis center

2:26

there's a support worker tell me what

2:28

a teenage girl

2:29

studied women's studies

2:31

wanted to start what were you taught what

2:34

was presumably this was the the

2:36

bible the that you would cause me

2:38

what debate because i've never took women's studies

2:41

tell me what what what basically

2:43

is basically is just of that curriculum

2:46

when it or very between universities i

2:48

went see i did at oxford without

2:50

the time was one of the seas

2:53

apartments still calling itself women's

2:55

studies department basically all

2:57

of them have transitioned to be gender

2:59

studies or gender and sexuality studies i

3:01

think ox assets had

3:05

it was kind of evident in the core curriculum

3:07

know in the they

3:09

were very little doesn't really surprise and little second

3:11

ways we should escaped

3:14

from the ninety five

3:16

while can judith butler

3:18

and and more judith butler and and more judith butler

3:20

necessary kunis

3:22

butler an extraordinarily influential

3:25

person yet , might

3:27

have diligently attempt to to read

3:29

and understand many different occasions

3:32

tell me about it well what it

3:35

well it about the word concerts at which the

3:37

biggest most potent appeal

3:39

why is it so successful i mean the obscure

3:41

and his praises policy appeal the

3:43

ring is a can it does get that impression

3:45

to see when she's undergraduates that

3:48

there must be something profound buried within

3:50

these tax in terms of hi

3:53

the thinking i mean the

3:56

thing that so radical about

3:59

that

4:01

if a departure from

4:03

materialism

4:04

if

4:06

questioning not only

4:08

them in unison masculinity as

4:11

constructs gus gus second wave feminists

4:13

had done that her long time before those

4:16

are questioning the male female binary full

4:18

stop i what she does which

4:20

is sources reasonable

4:24

is she points out the fact that people

4:26

who intersex the

4:28

difficult to categorize and

4:31

the historically intersex people have been

4:33

treated

4:34

i knew

4:35

how can he can change lanes which does

4:37

suggest that there is some space for flexibility

4:40

and thinking about male and female as intolerant

4:42

a concrete categories which

4:44

is at that point the problem is

4:46

insects people

4:48

extremely unusual animals

4:51

we'll

4:52

the be able to concede that yes maybe

4:55

there's a little bit of slippage between men are female

4:57

but they're they're only two kinds of chromosomes

5:00

and it was looking at seats would seats t bell

5:02

curves of sit of physical features

5:04

there are two very there the very obvious

5:07

hi yes

5:09

but she she basically

5:11

arguing that biological

5:14

reality does not exist this

5:17

is my a my is that it a

5:19

caricature of what's he saying because she

5:21

certainly saying that in our understanding

5:24

of , or women we should have have

5:27

is no relevance whatever to

5:29

the to a nature of

5:31

their bodies or

5:34

know salient aspect

5:36

of our evolutionary nature that still

5:39

should be in any way informative of our understanding

5:42

of human sexuality that is my

5:45

exaggerating says to me that sounds

5:47

utterly absurd but tell

5:50

me why people don't find that absurd

5:53

i mean she's she's any the very

5:55

hostile to any suggestion is kind of evolutionary

5:58

evolutionary influence

5:59

the ground

6:01

modern behave and but that's not initiative

6:03

but i mean that was t of

6:06

very very mainstream the

6:08

that in feminists into a hostile a

6:10

evolutionary psychology in

6:13

particular you can the i gave our

6:17

the revelation would have affected us above the neck

6:20

right now

6:21

again was just how

6:24

do they i mean i know can get to defend the truth

6:26

butler and hanukkah's alternatives bullets as

6:28

so you're so you're to the world with

6:31

the notion that butler has

6:34

propagated essentially men and women as a completely

6:37

arbitrary to things and created

6:40

by a patriarchal system

6:42

of oppression the

6:45

goal is to end any

6:47

sexual binary whatsoever right

6:50

and he was space is there

6:52

for the simple reproductive fact that

6:54

you need experiment an egg

6:57

to make another human being is this to

6:59

that coming to visit all

7:01

very to question i

7:03

mean i don't think it's a coincidence that only

7:05

a small minority of gender studies

7:07

assassin's have children

7:10

i actually studied the think

7:12

the thing that i was interested in semi

7:15

at the station by some as a stations was was

7:17

that was mother heads and means obstetrics

7:20

that was i did my

7:22

i always get a phd on history of this is aaron

7:24

section i'm retarded and in retrospect

7:26

that that that was that was on course i could have taken

7:29

and it was considered widely considered

7:31

among students and and and some academics

7:33

to be weird and nice

7:35

that i would be interested in labor

7:38

and

7:39

the news

7:40

the older

7:41

and also breastfeeding i did i

7:43

did some research on wet nursing and klingon

7:46

india and yeah and it was clear on it was it

7:48

was see was described on several occasions as and

7:50

whereas is closely that it is but that emphasis

7:53

on i mean so i think what he is butler would say just

7:55

her not to defend her picture is

7:58

a date think that she thinks that it's post completely

8:00

erase the difference

8:03

i think that what see that

8:05

she very defensive zone that friend in

8:07

it she thinks that powers to say so deeply

8:10

embedded in the system the east never to get away from

8:12

it what she suggests doing playing

8:15

with gender pointing out

8:17

it these contradictions

8:19

it's absurdities to things like

8:22

lighting drag the

8:24

name whatever you always have inspired

8:27

a whole generation of seasons t in

8:31

a new thread right sizing seahawks

8:34

in a way to seminars watches countries

8:36

have a david bowie didn't add some

8:38

blair yet or or why

8:40

are playing with cinder which we have done

8:43

throughout , human history is

8:45

somehow something radically new

8:47

idea of subverting biological

8:50

reality

8:51

fabulous as i buy martha nussbaum the

8:53

on exactly this topic the a the

8:56

professor parody i read it i

8:58

read it like a letter a dying man

9:00

finding an oasis in the desert or not the city

9:02

so i'm i'm i'm not as and

9:04

it was written in the new republic or my m

9:06

i l l a killer an amazingly

9:08

on minute of com is he said he commissioned some

9:11

great pieces for martha nussbaum over the

9:13

years

9:14

she right beautifully

9:15

he doesn't really beautifully she's she's a remarkable

9:18

purse actually many many ways

9:21

so here you are you young woman you've you've

9:23

you've kind of been saturated and butler's good

9:27

where i because everyone has to be this

9:29

, no i wouldn't go and study

9:31

women says you don't have a course on

9:34

estrogen or testosterone or

9:37

or testosterone the reality of biological sex

9:39

or anything to do with

9:41

actual reality in in in

9:43

his biological reality

9:45

the the best way that you can get around

9:48

that strategically to is to study

9:50

history

9:51

you know a black the i did the decision

9:53

since his sons to their in sections in the

9:55

eighteenth century and no one

9:58

expects user ice what is essentially so

10:00

to go along with the twenty first century nonsense he

10:03

can he can write about men and women with

10:05

and qualify anything only qualify you write about them

10:07

in past his my experience of academia

10:09

so a to time

10:12

you were

10:13

interested bit skeptical or

10:16

you , resisting this all the way through

10:18

you were just going along

10:20

to get along then you end up because

10:22

presumably you can rape crisis center because

10:26

you care about this issue in in new

10:28

york you sort of yourself as committed

10:31

feminist so tell me about

10:33

that experience with the rape crisis and to

10:35

tell me how it it

10:38

impacted your understanding of snacks

10:41

and send in a way that troubled

10:44

around are undermined some of

10:46

the things you've been taught that also

10:48

sir i i was already

10:51

quite early on it universe is starting to

10:53

be skeptical of of the of

10:56

transacted isn't specifically because a suspect

10:58

in this is back in the claim any

11:00

k one really no one

11:02

was talking publicly about this publicly mean it is

11:04

now much more possible in the uk biscuits

11:07

i chose activism why

11:09

was trans activism part of your current

11:12

stuff

11:13

only a few says everything because

11:16

it's all about in

11:18

a radically questioning the home and andy

11:20

say my anthropology course is all about undermining

11:23

their that the idea political

11:25

different and also because it was just so present

11:27

within seen politics so

11:29

i for instance had

11:31

indo as feminist

11:33

radical feminists was invited to my university

11:36

and then ended up being being

11:38

air it was she

11:40

was pretty much the only person he was talking about this

11:42

stuff publicly english

11:44

really suffering for it and

11:46

i emailed her and setting and setting that stressful

11:48

even their platforms and we ended up having coffee

11:50

and us a be

11:51

the with represents so i was quietly

11:55

skeptical about this stuff wouldn't

11:58

the rifle say so publicly

11:59

and then i spoke to

12:02

war ended up happening when i was in rape crisis was

12:05

i began to be more skeptical of more things

12:08

i'd i'd i'd i think anecdotally does happen

12:10

for a lot to progress has hit the what looks sort of lox

12:12

progressed as a fine one thing that doesn't quite

12:14

stock and then it becomes a domino effect

12:17

that's true of any belief system i think

12:19

saints who of scientology is true of

12:21

a religious base little things

12:24

add up a bit by bit makes

12:26

you clean more so

12:29

maybe this is a better way to as this what

12:31

do you think deliberation a semi

12:33

call them that sake

12:36

of better words what do you think

12:38

they got ronald what basically

12:40

did they get most wrong in

12:42

your view

12:45

they underestimated the

12:47

importance of such an asymmetry

12:50

search whenever you symmetry

12:52

yeah

12:53

so in this is a cool sense

12:55

the fact that women

12:58

at a once you get pregnant and

13:00

it is a series of radicalism causes de leon

13:02

it shoots women are the ones who get pregnant women

13:04

a smaller than men the

13:07

has significantly lower body strength and man

13:09

looking at because of things like the omnibus

13:11

can shopping some that women take they are the ones

13:13

he suffered the side effects are taking back control

13:15

the all these kind of the little things and

13:18

then also more controversy psychological differences

13:20

between sexes which are no up to date

13:22

now lions

13:24

that they are quite striking there

13:26

are and this copious evidence to suggest

13:28

that

13:29

important important psychological dimensions

13:31

on which men and women to set on average

13:33

so what you're saying is that in fact in reality

13:36

the binary is evident evidently

13:39

she's proven in other words that you

13:41

, look at worlds worlds

13:44

but why is this binary this designed

13:48

entirely by structural forces to

13:50

oppress one sex

13:52

and elevates the other what

13:54

is it's the other that is not

13:56

a part of oppressive

13:59

and

13:59

at the counter argument isn't

14:02

that actually this is oh all these defenses

14:04

socialist things could be different

14:07

and actually the project is to make and

14:09

defense which is why does it was is there was some something

14:12

such as a specialization advertising and

14:15

products especially leading us towards the

14:17

only roles

14:18

there clearly is a bitter truth to that

14:20

on there is

14:22

we do see contrary

14:23

in which ,

14:26

the to some extent these things can be inscribed

14:28

differently on us the widows

14:30

yeah much that variation

14:33

the the we nervous idol

14:36

there is no culture to either from across

14:38

northern any of the experts i've read have ever come across

14:41

in which women secret casual sex

14:43

more than monday since

14:47

and you might say that this is partly to do

14:49

with to the the physical differences the fact that

14:51

women are physically more vulnerable to violence

14:54

probably would disincentivize alignment

14:57

a stranger the i just think she's ill in

14:59

a as you're flipping a coin thousand

15:01

times and it's coming up heads every single

15:03

time to sit and moreover

15:05

if as a very compelling reason for why

15:08

the word in hands evolutionary

15:11

the abolition explanation of why they would have different products

15:13

the teenage we are

15:15

of reproductive else on crucially to stinks

15:18

will stinks will wanted save the obvious

15:20

the obviously is that one

15:23

sexual encounters for

15:25

the man the agreed

15:29

orgasm if you're lucky the

15:32

other is potentially nine months

15:35

was a physical process

15:38

is pregnancy and then leave and then

15:40

ownership , a child indefinitely

15:44

obviously the stakes

15:46

involved are dramatically different

15:49

for each individual partner is historically

15:51

any was now they would argue that the pill

15:54

has pillow and abortion has

15:56

removed says and therefore we have this fantastic

15:59

that's unity to abolish

16:02

any such extra burden that

16:05

women might have how

16:07

would you can out of that

16:09

so it's i certainly that

16:11

our minds haven't caught up with that reality

16:14

the we we've

16:16

been ninety five percent of our species history is hunter

16:18

gatherers

16:20

you know and two hundred thousand years of

16:22

she homo sapiens disgusting the pill is

16:24

a

16:25

right we are we're

16:27

nowhere near capable of sodas

16:30

catching up in that short period in terms of our

16:32

minds fault

16:33

that reduction say you know

16:35

when

16:37

when women assets and settler you know we are

16:40

ah

16:41

a monkey brains hell is it

16:43

drains whatever of

16:45

prime see expects the risk

16:47

of pregnancy

16:49

which therefore means that we are primed si

16:51

cu ones want to bonded partners

16:53

to to feel intense

16:55

sexual revulsion sexual revulsion sexual

16:58

these phenomena that we say and the women often to

17:00

talk about in colloquial tans but

17:02

no necessarily in that thinking about in

17:04

evolutionary

17:05

why do they have a prime the evolutionary

17:08

why couldn't the say the

17:10

the the

17:12

correct ended

17:14

everything is de novo for

17:17

the minute you born we can reshape people's psyches

17:19

dramatically the pill is

17:21

here so it's not a disaster you tell

17:24

yourself it's okay because

17:26

i can get rid of a child or

17:29

it's okay because taking pills that give

17:31

me no in the same way

17:33

that, for example, sexual promiscuity

17:35

or sexual whatever we want to call

17:37

it didn't they were more time

17:40

than term obviously made

17:42

much more and tolerable

17:44

because of antibiotics because

17:47

because also people aren't destined

17:49

to die from diseases

17:52

they can track you, or for example, the

17:54

extraordinary toll of

17:56

childbirth on women for

17:59

the vast already of human history

18:02

which creates another massive disincentive

18:05

for so pregnancy because

18:08

she knows many women died

18:10

i mean i think it's there's no other species

18:12

like this in which women die

18:14

in childbirth says

18:16

oh is it would it be to be possible to

18:18

rethink this are and what you're what i'm trying

18:21

to get it is you are clearly

18:24

routing some of his in an

18:26

understanding of evolutionary biology

18:28

in the same way that we would us and other

18:30

animal species

18:32

the

18:33

i mean a comparison the be something

18:35

that eating right i mean clearly we are

18:37

capable

18:38

oh

18:39

in carefully what we clearly it's extremely

18:42

culturally

18:43

the pendant etc but there

18:45

is an extent to which you can't resist holder

18:48

and

18:51

you're invited you know if you if you

18:53

present his way it's it's

18:55

zoomy advertising does she know you might be able

18:57

to persuade he has amazing self

18:59

control the you're always gonna be sort

19:01

of in battle with your instincts i think that that's

19:03

probably the best way of understanding it with the

19:05

added complexity of cool stuff

19:08

that incident deeply emotional

19:11

thing and is

19:13

it know what i am santa visits and

19:15

anymore maybe anymore for women this and that's i

19:17

mean i think the thing

19:18

they be max maybe maybe they

19:20

definitely isn't mostly time that

19:23

emotional for men and is

19:26

almost always emotional

19:28

for women

19:31

i think that i suspect the what's going

19:33

on is that nails sexuality

19:35

is more flexible than him as he muslims here

19:37

in the same way that actually we

19:39

see more mail variation in all sorts of other traits

19:42

that's that's strange most moon

19:44

analysis i think that i've read was

19:47

female sexuality there's much

19:49

more fluid experimental can get righted

19:52

two million different thing psychologically

19:54

emotionally temperamentally as well as physically

19:57

that men are much more own off

19:59

switches so what do you mean by that

20:01

so if it's true that women are more flexible

20:04

and has his sexual orientation as a lot

20:06

of a like a really surprise me i portion

20:08

of women are bisexual

20:09

that seems to be actually very typical

20:12

edible thing for women and the second life was

20:14

for right to talk about compulsory sexuality

20:18

as as essential to take

20:21

what i mean has announced that stability is more to

20:23

do with this that this

20:25

then clearly a much more

20:27

driven to cut us excellent know and

20:29

it's to some extent it depends on individuals

20:32

but also men are clearly capable of

20:36

i'm more oriented

20:37

forgive any have been monogamous of being interested

20:39

in in marriage and stability impermanence

20:41

and i think that that it is

20:43

partly suit individuals in his party the contacts

20:45

is partly easy with with caitlyn centers

20:48

and what i think is hop and biceps revolution

20:50

the threat

20:53

the incentive sucks and now and in place

20:55

pushes men much much more towards the short

20:57

term this strategy because

21:00

they're rewarded for that in a way that they wouldn't have been

21:02

historically and i think that comes with acosta women

21:05

because women in general don't prefer

21:07

that dusty

21:08

evolutionary speaking of course there

21:10

is an argument for the species

21:12

as species as the

21:15

common good to the phrase for

21:17

, species as common just that

21:20

in fact it's in fact for

21:23

mail the men to be inflicted

21:26

in this way in other words it's

21:28

good for a man for his offspring

21:31

for the viability of his offspring that he sticks

21:33

around with , partner

21:35

and ensures ensures stable

21:38

unsuccessful rearing of the child with

21:40

whoever help propagate his jeans

21:42

is in a way however

21:45

it's also true that some more women he inseminate

21:48

them , his seems will spread

21:51

in the population so the ideal

21:54

for a male in terms of marshaling

21:56

his interest is exactly what you

21:58

would expect that he has one

22:00

primary relationship which he invested

22:03

in any folks around all the time

22:05

the oil town it's ugly he cheated on

22:07

saturday and in ones as circumstances

22:09

and another in another set depending on which

22:11

seems to be the most advantageous in that moment and

22:14

the will be get to social

22:17

structure coming in right because how

22:19

do you retire the

22:22

male who is reducing

22:25

god knows how much or i'm on an hourly

22:27

basis for the rich have to have some

22:29

points leave his body how

22:31

disease given

22:34

those instincts you talking about

22:37

how do we encourage the

22:39

him to the same all

22:41

of that the whole life one

22:44

woman you tell me i mean we use do

22:46

it my huge amounts

22:48

of stigma related by

22:52

criminalizing adultery

22:54

in some respects we did it by all

22:56

sorts of social arrangements

22:59

that were deeply stigmatizing

23:01

of the illegitimate those

23:03

you were born out of wedlock wheels

23:06

of stigmatize the women who were often

23:09

pregnant but we also regarded the

23:11

man is this is it is a cat

23:13

how do you restore

23:16

that in any way this is this is with a slight

23:18

trouble with your book and it's it's

23:20

it's it's it's it's sisters

23:23

with that's just wishful thinking how did

23:25

you actually sell man

23:27

the persuade men this

23:29

is what they really ought to need

23:33

there's a little yeah i

23:35

mean that mean

23:37

we look at our house we the human history of until

23:39

the pillar i'd sexy as gay they

23:41

are basically cases models

23:44

that of priests to be durable with

23:46

durable few unusual and clutch exceptions

23:49

one is a polygamous model

23:51

where you have high status men

23:54

hacking multiple wives and generally

23:56

or say having sex access to this iceland theories

23:58

kind of unquestioned and ending

24:00

up with low status men having no wives

24:03

the other model is

24:04

monogamous marriage model

24:06

which prevailed in the west until recently and

24:08

are not only

24:09

how for about twenty percent of cultures on the

24:11

and plush correctly so he is

24:13

an unusual model it's

24:16

also very also very one in

24:18

the sense that cultures as have adopted it has

24:20

come to dominate the world which is which

24:22

is states which is the answer

24:24

the war and apologists of called a positive monogamous

24:26

marriage why would monogamy spread because

24:28

it

24:29

doesn't favor the interests of high status my more

24:31

high status men want to jay is

24:34

hundred twenty wise as they possibly can and in a sack

24:36

as likely as they can and a monogamous

24:38

marriage system present since i'm sitting there the

24:41

answer to that puzzle is it monogamous

24:43

marriage systems while

24:45

constraining nice man in a way they don't like

24:48

is also

24:50

very good for society in the hall a which he

24:52

says crime rates because you don't have this unhappy

24:54

proportion of unmarried men

24:56

the just and violence and child if is rights

24:59

because you don't have these are facts of households and

25:01

i suppose lives and another step children

25:03

and it also encourages well

25:06

humans invest in things other

25:08

than new why it's you know investing in

25:10

business isn't employees and so on so

25:14

good for society

25:15

the net and therefore the monogamous societies

25:17

have been able to spread and cells are the same

25:19

thing in that's alive and

25:22

will set it in fact i knew listen have service

25:23

no but most distant and we

25:26

and we have partially

25:28

abandoned i mean we haven't quite

25:30

you still caught in a big in the

25:32

still illegal

25:34

that in the sense that there's no no

25:37

no sigma have to premarital sex

25:39

people tuning in practice

25:42

have multiple wives even if we don't call it call

25:45

it the and actually you see on on on

25:47

dating outside kinda a

25:49

tourist back towards back political system

25:53

where you have to really attractive men getting

25:55

it matches and and unless instructed been getting

25:57

zero and and will be attracted many kind of encouraged

25:59

the have

26:01

most relationships on the guy which is

26:03

why is it yeah i i had a final

26:05

chapter in a bit crime make the case a monogamous marriage

26:07

and it and i did concede the point

26:09

that is often made by feminists who are opposed to

26:11

that marriage that married attractive

26:13

to women in a sensitive

26:16

radically was sixty that

26:18

, point i'm going to make is actually it's it's as

26:21

as mr as a press it is not more says

26:23

immense right that's kind of that

26:25

point the whole point of marriages that youths

26:28

are that choose to limit your freedom

26:32

it is legal but and molson just as important

26:34

as a social bonds that

26:35

stand up and francis everyone in you make a

26:37

promise and you expects penalties

26:39

still bracing upon it and

26:42

the over a is

26:44

it does absolutely constrain

26:47

and it's i mean i i think what the

26:49

we are discovering that it's not something i

26:51

mean well some people do take it on day voluntarily

26:54

it's an interesting fact that if it's you are more likely

26:56

us get married and more likely want to stay married

26:59

so increasingly having a a durable

27:01

marriage is a luxury goods and

27:03

, think she is there is there's a definite

27:05

policy in the that the most anti

27:07

marriage arguments are awful coming from that execs

27:09

and stuff as society who love getting married

27:11

another case of stay married because they recognize

27:14

the , term benefits to them

27:17

into that children that in a society where

27:19

you are not required to do that

27:21

and yeah that comes with all sorts of it's own citizens in

27:23

the says eve

27:24

absolutely that was

27:27

horrible social punishment is it sits on

27:29

legal punishment sometimes visited on people here

27:32

the street outside of of of the conventions

27:35

sometimes not have their own choosing you

27:37

know women impregnated through rifle

27:39

or whatever he would be offset the their communities as i

27:42

i i completely agree that that is agree terrible terrible

27:44

tradeoff

27:45

the problem is that we're dealing with systems is all

27:48

have tried off

27:49

i was saying really to men

27:51

in that context the

27:54

food is a mill i think about

27:56

lower and higher pleasures what you're saying

27:59

in that you are evolutionary

28:03

programs both impulses

28:05

the canadian out the

28:08

you'll be happier actually

28:11

if you repress

28:14

, lower desires and

28:16

concentrate and higher design which

28:19

is marriage and family

28:21

the relationship but i eat

28:24

is still through nonetheless

28:26

that the sex drive

28:28

itself for men in particular

28:31

there's a hugely powerful

28:33

for

28:35

basically a he feels to me like we going

28:37

back to freud right weeks with trees

28:39

were going back to you attempting to

28:42

, civilized seasons seasons

28:45

it's discontents for

28:47

its own good because you think this actually

28:50

will lead to

28:52

man being happy

28:54

alleys most men being happy

28:57

if you are a low status mans

29:00

let's say the see i

29:02

good looking or no earning that much

29:04

money the system

29:07

your old system as you ben

29:09

hur right he he probably won't get laid

29:11

very often in the in the sexual marketplace

29:14

of that he may be constantly humiliated

29:17

whereas if he had one person

29:19

with a better chance of finding that person

29:21

and secondly sticking with them gives him

29:24

proceeds gives him gives

29:27

mean that's the other part of it isn't as the

29:29

we bribed men with

29:32

the sense of honor with public recognition

29:35

of their father who's does their role

29:38

in this way that we want

29:40

to support

29:44

yeah and we'll saving i mean eight

29:46

assists in where you can't have access to

29:48

sex at least not not licit sex

29:51

unless you how

29:54

the job set up a house senior chief

29:56

all of these adult things he's always extremely

29:58

nice facing

30:00

the man a problem now is kind of coordination

30:02

problem might the kids i think

30:04

it does serve the interests sister

30:06

not even less status men

30:09

just just anyone who isn't a kind of

30:12

you haven't started his is to be

30:14

better served by the old system in terms it's

30:16

the likelihood of finding a good match

30:18

as i've heard subtly tongue in cheek i've

30:20

had the monogamous marriage system despite the sexual

30:22

socialism

30:24

in city

30:26

a prevents that kind of hurrying

30:28

, of the really high status

30:31

meant which is that the women say right ladies women

30:33

don't want women don't up in harm's particularly when as

30:35

often happens with on seems like on outset

30:37

kinda they don't even know they're in a hurry

30:39

the never been led on

30:41

that if late by then he really wanted to send settling

30:43

down but on on honest about that either

30:45

side and my argument

30:47

is the only busy only people in assists in there

30:49

really benefiting of all the really high say

30:52

sussman say least the ones who are

30:54

they want to take advantage of a clean it all the

30:56

pleasures of abide by such liberation

30:59

if we're being honest about downsides

31:02

the men

31:04

you we've had told you about them upside some

31:06

had in the old system the

31:09

downside is that you will not have smart

31:11

sexual pleasure or excitement in your life

31:13

it's new might otherwise have had there are those

31:15

that the riots

31:19

sexual experience does

31:21

, to be pretty deeply ingrained

31:24

in the mail of the species giving

31:27

that up either sacrifice

31:32

such a variety crazy i mean it's it's

31:34

worth remembering that married people

31:36

on average have more sex an unmarried people sentences

31:39

you know amount of sexual having your life

31:41

as the mars is quite the climate options

31:43

the yes intends to passing variety of partners and

31:46

another cleanses like such cleanses adventure yeah

31:48

it's interesting with seat says

31:50

psychology school districts as your sexuality

31:52

but i'm grateful that you understood

31:55

footnotes and means that

31:58

and women and again

32:01

you can have to tell me about this piece i have

32:03

literally i'm the least qualified person

32:05

almost on the planet short about this

32:07

for women a long running emotionally

32:10

connected that's

32:12

like we one other human being be

32:15

quiet

32:15

wonderful

32:17

generally the call is

32:19

the goal

32:21

yeah it is used as a real clash of

32:24

interest sets says it says set such

32:26

as psychologists call the sites as you sexuality

32:28

your it's not quite same sex drive secret behind

32:31

sex drive in loans says his ex was you know bc

32:33

ferries across your life size and everything but

32:35

says is a trial as he's basically are divorced such a variety

32:39

how many people unisex is how quickly you want to jump

32:41

into bed with someone

32:42

how like you are to be interested

32:44

in

32:45

experimenting sex scenes home i

32:47

moved there are

32:50

a male bell curve and the same about as are

32:52

a bit different with overlap

32:56

no one should be surprised to hear this but you know has

32:58

to his i know what what kind of interesting

33:00

about it is that said the tail

33:02

that the males hail is really long

33:05

the u n c so he un

33:07

that with the very extreme

33:09

and to say sexuality it's like a hundred

33:12

percent men that

33:13

and it it goes you know quite saw right there

33:15

are so many really are driven in

33:17

their lives for like this

33:20

exact size almost insatiable and then

33:22

at the other end you have people most it most

33:24

within the women he really with this or

33:26

any to have the

33:28

not one this relationship forever the his

33:30

academic sexuality earnest

33:33

with school you know in their a by pantheon

33:35

yes bitches

33:36

it is because women

33:39

to determine the i'd the and

33:41

i think identifies that women don't

33:43

feel confident in just asserting

33:45

typical

33:48

female preference so it has

33:50

to be dressed up as and i did see category which

33:52

is where you get infected me sexual which just

33:54

means

33:55

you prefer to have sex

33:56

one with the new it a nice me investors

33:58

i remember when i can

34:01

rent for one some some young women

34:03

who was with without much on her claim

34:05

to same suddenly came out i was demi lovato

34:07

was actually with such humans now demi

34:09

sexual him an ass what alleges she

34:11

really wants to be in , relationship

34:14

with one other person have sex only with that person

34:16

to which when officers over that use

34:18

because a woman or exactly

34:20

what else you not downplaying

34:23

when in sexual appetites

34:26

women's desire for sexual uriah

34:29

it's temporary but it's not nonexistent

34:32

are you not actually describing

34:35

women isn't this rather victorian

34:38

way that doesn't feel

34:41

very liberated to me

34:43

so i completely can say that this variation

34:46

there are some they're definitely some women's you are

34:48

you're pretty on the says is a full scale

34:50

i did it at at at

34:53

to pay with pay lot you

34:55

can only from star and twitter feed

34:57

twitter star who i think is very

34:59

authentic the heinz i see sexuality rice

35:02

is i believe how can

35:04

i say it's only it's a yeah

35:06

and notice horny

35:08

but or say

35:09

like delighted by sex experimentation

35:12

and new partners and what mean a whatever and

35:14

is able and in any in at the the material

35:16

conditions that we now have with the

35:18

pale and with antibiotics and all of these things

35:20

she can she can these are the problem is

35:23

with assuming that

35:25

all women alike iowa and

35:28

the fact that when we're designing as older sibling

35:31

witches and laws we have to be designing rules

35:33

for every one that's the point of lords everyone's a survey

35:35

them it's also kind of tray with

35:37

some the some sex ability

35:40

when it comes to norms

35:42

if you haven't known

35:44

lax

35:45

the should have sex and the first day we

35:47

we increasingly day

35:51

nice women are not going to prefer

35:53

that norm even

35:56

if some day and most men all gonna

35:58

prefer that gnome and i

36:00

think that there is a

36:02

some extent as there is some issue here

36:05

here it is clear

36:08

, you're being honest about it as a zoo many

36:10

people talk about as as if is some sort of of

36:13

to listen to this the fact is that near endless

36:16

for some reason our species

36:18

as and blessed by our divinity

36:20

with this with , in compatibility

36:23

between men and women recent after somehow

36:25

a stick around in order to out to reproduce

36:28

that's a feminist project power many women

36:30

says to get along but let me see this

36:32

so we have the bill we have antibiotics

36:35

we have women

36:37

with economic our with autonomy

36:39

all of which i

36:42

assume you the

36:44

glad was even that we don't want

36:46

to see women having to make choices

36:48

for fear of dying in childbirth of your

36:50

terrible diseases

36:52

the

36:53

the do things also enable

36:55

inevitably a much greater level of

36:57

sexual answers and because with

37:00

with with fewer many fewer risks

37:02

so one option is

37:05

to maybe in practice

37:08

the stay the norm of monogamous average

37:11

and for the frustrated men allow

37:14

them to have pornography

37:16

virtual enact

37:18

months of sex in ways

37:20

i can help siphon

37:22

off this extra energy in ways

37:25

that do not actually hard any

37:28

, females as you to naught

37:30

except insofar as they

37:32

are are a relationship

37:34

with a lot on only fans tell

37:37

me why

37:39

is that nos acheulian movies

37:42

me look society today and you can see

37:45

a , huge since

37:47

the bill in this kind of access to

37:49

porn an interest in pornography

37:51

is actually a

37:53

way in which the mail of the species

37:56

manages to balance his

37:58

own sexual needs with his social

38:00

obligations

38:04

i think the problem with rely on porn as

38:06

a as a as a means as siphoning off

38:09

excess , the energy is

38:11

that i don't think

38:14

than the model of

38:16

i write about in the book as and as for this is

38:18

up say the censoring where

38:20

homer is dealing with anger problems

38:23

of the taste is some sort of therapists was she not process

38:25

is on guess but every time he does said

38:27

he and that will decide boils on his neck

38:30

and eventually his neck is is covered in boils and he said

38:32

on the brink says on the brink of collapse

38:35

and then he ends up so provoked

38:37

that sort of as is like terrible rage

38:40

and was a ghost these energies is

38:42

and he later told by the doctor often couldn't she

38:44

did that the whole as you would have expired

38:47

from one of your preston that's about that's kind

38:49

of the model that we have i think of sexuality and

38:51

sexuality think it's

38:53

emerged as freud

38:55

there's some truth to it that the problem

38:57

is that it's not quite as simple as that

38:59

there is a series of feedback

39:02

mechanism is low and what

39:04

point does point particular and

39:09

and he shakes them according to the algorithm

39:11

in which actually individual

39:13

doesn't have a lot of control over and may not be a bears

39:16

what's been done to them

39:17

and so there are people who can use

39:20

porn and it doesn't

39:23

seem to have a profound effect on them there

39:25

are many more people say

39:28

the images have an effect on some people are

39:31

extremely susceptible most of the men

39:34

hey

39:35

impulsive pontius

39:37

which leads them down some very

39:39

the rim

39:41

the news like wasn't watch

39:43

was her either towards more and more

39:46

bizarre concern i mean things

39:48

the t the so was a internet

39:50

so what

39:52

that it becomes than possible to have a relationship

39:55

with a real person

39:56

and i need for some mentally how i am that's our

39:59

how they work

39:59

the one is just because it erectile

40:02

dysfunction just the thought that if you

40:04

that's cool desperate syndrome

40:06

like really then he's

40:08

either i do you masturbate cemeteries

40:10

ponce much that in a psychological sense

40:12

the you can be aroused by real person anymore

40:15

you can't have an order to be pretty greg

40:18

well no because of activists such mates had gone

40:20

off astonishingly in the last twenty years

40:23

among men it's now a farmer the sick as

40:25

of took my hand but it's like it's often despite it's third

40:27

now have been under forty is it the other

40:29

it does is something which which was previously on idol

40:33

and there are you never have already

40:34

the i guess i have to often

40:37

he could see some people say that it's to

40:39

deal with asians and environment

40:41

or say it obesity for the thought

40:43

that it happened that exactly the same times online

40:45

polarizing suggests to me that that must

40:48

be playing well and anecdotally mendelson talk

40:50

about the thought that if they quit porn erectile

40:52

dysfunction that way the

40:55

other issues today ways

40:57

getting sucked

40:59

into more much same content which ends up

41:01

events hit us it should be senators

41:03

the most extreme content nervous right and

41:05

and clinical psychologists who to

41:07

her treating men

41:08

indicative possession of these images are

41:11

increasingly saying that what they used to be saying

41:14

was sort of true peter files in a manual

41:16

always interested in in children

41:19

whereas what se increasingly se

41:21

increasingly he just have a really really the

41:24

magic relationship with porn which led

41:26

to that and think so deadens to

41:28

any in vanilla sexual content that

41:30

they have to

41:31

the towel

41:32

more know as are shocking extreme

41:35

content which eventually lead them into the worst

41:37

places of the internet said

41:39

that it does it does a social

41:42

costs their instances of we see the children's

41:44

her abused annotation those images that

41:46

i think there's also adds i mean maybe you might

41:48

say that there's some men he was so hopeless

41:50

a about see no chance of ever having

41:53

a relationship with any one that will make nightfall

41:55

is living and then mom's basement with porn i

41:57

think that's not shapes and they spend the i think it was as a

41:59

very large gray

42:01

area of men who actually could

42:04

in another set of circumstances

42:06

hustling the magic

42:08

sex relationships and have families have all the

42:10

things that that to the vast majority of

42:12

people are the key sources of meaning of in in

42:16

the one hundred and away from that

42:18

it easier

42:20

eg form in the car and actually

42:22

find a partner a , it's many

42:24

to the point is fast food

42:27

to i reserve a stable relationship is

42:29

stable relationship foods table local organic

42:32

during and hunting usa

42:34

to to that yes

42:35

what i'm yeah what's interesting and is it was

42:37

always loses his porn increases

42:41

my be exposed

42:44

to it increases the need

42:46

for another was there is an addictive quality

42:49

to this

42:50

i would say by design

42:52

because i think that the platforms are extremely well

42:55

the engineered to arouse

42:58

the human animal as efficiently as possible

43:00

my that's what it's for and

43:02

the ways in which you

43:05

know you don't be such knew immediately

43:08

with extremely

43:10

emulating images sounds

43:13

that a youtube video suggested he which

43:15

what kind of in a certain interesting

43:17

responses wouldn't let slip things that no

43:19

one would ever have imagined on the rang that

43:21

as a present

43:22

the

43:23

it's funny when i was a kid is beverley

43:26

random attic so to put there was a port

43:28

remembered certainly not gay porn a

43:31

spear the idea that i would find any

43:33

beautiful men displayed for my satisfaction

43:35

was is absurd the

43:38

i drew them and

43:40

truly weird , a

43:42

finland type caricatures of men

43:45

find ways that i probably didn't understand

43:47

the time but live up in

43:50

a way that with

43:52

my only sexual outlook for the first

43:54

ten years of my biggest sexual

43:56

be that's so what i'm saying is sometimes

43:59

the president who are frames and a complete

44:02

suppression of ,

44:04

of man did sack off to be as

44:06

as a size about a million different things is

44:09

there's also can be damaging

44:12

it's it's it's it's police

44:14

is way too much pressure

44:17

on one woman to satisfy every possible

44:19

need that need that might as and

44:22

repressing can lead to other bad

44:25

thing is obviously anger frustration

44:28

acting out all sorts of sorts of

44:30

of like that i'm thinking now the

44:32

sake of there's tons of a case of a middle aged

44:35

married man that's he's in his mid forties

44:38

who has sex with his wife maybe it is

44:40

lucky every other week or so but most

44:42

nights before he goes to bed goes downstairs

44:44

the basement jaxx off to some it takes

44:46

about ten minutes get

44:49

acclimated to the randy moss city what is

44:51

and from south park what's

44:53

, is months is simply a way of coping

44:56

coping a that he simply way which are modern

44:58

world can make can

45:00

monogamous marriage bless

45:03

stressful in oppressive

45:06

for a man

45:10

first of all that ponies

45:12

very very long way from being fair trade

45:16

there is probably comparable see as

45:18

an a

45:19

i can take time to take the edge of with the

45:21

full knowledge of how many people murders per

45:23

gram of cocaine bulls new airstrike series

45:26

you know until

45:27

tara involved in the production of porn and

45:29

it's impossible to know looking at a video

45:31

oh so when do i know you're sure to go with your

45:33

forging you're switching the argument here

45:35

those are we talking about are we talking about

45:38

i'm summer was summer was porn

45:41

had said

45:41

why

45:43

the point of view that we married

45:45

the point is how it affects the brain of

45:47

the person consuming if not

45:49

as part of the as as as as an as

45:52

an element in society was can have unintended

45:54

and bad consequences for everybody

45:56

to something about it

45:57

that and was airing nigel you know

45:59

we can

45:59

that an arrogance but i do want to idea

46:02

what doesn't seem less on on land

46:04

i want you to have pm pt and since

46:06

ss eliminated as

46:09

to , no longer attracted

46:11

to his wife wife isn't because

46:13

most men are not attracted to the same women

46:16

ten fifteen twenty years down the line so

46:18

line most men that i've ever spoken

46:21

to handedly about these things straight

46:23

or gay say the same thing

46:26

the

46:27

incorporating some point fantasy

46:29

into your life a perfectly harmless

46:32

activity that can actually to me maybe you

46:34

can imagine things as you're having sex

46:36

with your wife is that will help you

46:39

have sexual attraction or

46:41

sexual arousal

46:43

so i said above i mean was a one

46:45

i would say that his was is very very

46:48

likely to be terribly wounded

46:50

by this if she if she

46:52

knew about it she notes about do

46:55

you do them

46:55

hypothetically she knows and sign

46:58

i mean i don't think either the other thing i've ever come

47:01

across woman whose authentically fine

47:03

with most women do feel it

47:05

to base adjacent chasing even

47:08

if it's know

47:09

security and believe so

47:11

, the it's it's it's like cheeses

47:14

admonition about adults are you can even

47:16

even can even committed in your in your

47:19

skill damned easy

47:21

to come is damned easy unreasonable

47:23

the women to expect men

47:26

into ten fifteen twenty years or even

47:28

after a few years to have

47:31

all their sexual nice

47:33

fulfilled by this one person

47:35

without some either kind of stimulation

47:38

to keep them sexually

47:40

the life

47:42

and i have it on i mean anything when

47:44

i was a little bit problems at hundreds

47:46

of thousands of years old and nations

47:49

why do we need a sophisticated

47:51

in a global industries funneling sexual

47:54

fantasies okay let's go back to me

47:56

that roaring my own idea

47:58

the ff ff

47:59

i'm always down of course i mean that's

48:02

the response that i get some sense in this is this

48:04

people's as they will you know what he didn't they burn

48:06

like sexy murals and pompei

48:09

in every one is or people have always been putting

48:11

up or effect fiction imagery of any kind

48:13

wishes of course tree and has

48:16

no intention of going around sentences and

48:18

six that bucket of light paints said

48:21

the thing that troubles me

48:23

is the the the

48:26

way that is injected capitalism and

48:29

a way that this is

48:32

the very small number of

48:37

tech engineers

48:38

the owners of these platforms

48:40

you have this extraordinary power

48:43

to shape human sexuality worldwide and

48:46

the we don't even really knows that they're

48:48

doing it to us you know the saturday

48:50

or embedding sasson that's

48:52

preferences one

48:54

example is the trend for choking

48:57

ocean issue is really strangulation custody

49:00

check on food in his strangulation some stanley

49:02

base is no medical shaking we

49:04

can see that it's it i was just unheard of really

49:08

on i didn't have it was a was

49:10

and in and in

49:13

straight relationships that

49:15

it will it was a nice within the bdsm community

49:17

which was in which was a nation itself whereas

49:20

, you know some

49:23

surveys finds the half of

49:25

women aged eighteen to twenty four been tricked by

49:27

the opponents sometimes

49:29

consensus intentional

49:32

there was goodness i that's very interesting

49:34

remembered some on up to two month because

49:36

you have interesting things to say about said

49:39

so let's take an example of

49:42

a woman whose totally

49:45

into fantasy of being grab

49:48

hell down choked and

49:52

the you saying that says no real

49:54

capable of consenting

49:56

to that freely there is something

49:59

about that these tapes

50:02

the sanctions that would granted

50:04

with the word consent

50:06

see my day was legally consent

50:08

to the i mean it does depend a bit on the

50:10

strangulation is a bit of a difficult one because most

50:12

lay people don't realize how risky it is

50:15

in fact we're only just recently discovering

50:18

with research on the pain

50:19

like how

50:21

why would a bad idea it is t team

50:24

so does apply pressure to the neck so they

50:26

reasoned argument to say that state of awesome so i

50:28

see people saying i'm

50:30

not a table again truly conforms

50:33

informed consent the regulation

50:38

we did set that aside and say

50:40

just a couple aggressive sex

50:42

in it which doesn't produce any injury

50:44

i think she can legally consent for yeah the

50:47

problem is that there's a lot of space i think between

50:49

legal consent the legal consent russia which is

50:51

a very low ball and

50:54

the sex isn't

50:57

violation some

51:00

way a part of the thrill

51:02

the women

51:04

and some both into some women normal

51:07

from women actually

51:10

really only get their rocks off

51:12

by being treated this way

51:14

sexually and the end

51:16

of which me personally

51:18

loving and the religious

51:21

but this is and there is something is

51:23

not about sex which which is

51:25

about violation intrinsically

51:28

about violation the , single

51:31

in other words that other words some elements

51:34

of force

51:35

the were

51:36

read is inevitable

51:39

in any sexual encounters

51:44

there it is true that a lot of women are are

51:46

are into being submissive

51:48

in one way or another

51:50

i think

51:51

evolutionarily was probably getting

51:53

on there from having spoken to some

51:56

this is it

51:58

what are the things that women really look for

51:59

the

52:01

in a mate is signs

52:03

commitment the

52:05

read women's erotic fiction in a he never

52:07

ever has a certain sense where a woman

52:09

is trying to persuade a relaxant man in

52:12

a it's always the the

52:14

the mail the romantic hero of is always

52:16

excessively in love we

52:18

the heroin and will do anything to get her including

52:21

sometimes violence

52:23

the had are in for himself on her and so on

52:26

the i think that that desire

52:28

says sodas ran displays

52:30

of commitment

52:32

be probably baked in

52:33

the question is how and

52:36

that thing expressed

52:37

the women have not always

52:41

in handled by choking this is not been

52:43

in a this is this is it does is a sexual fashion

52:45

that has a reason

52:46

quite suddenly

52:47

and after we know i mean how

52:50

do we really know what people

52:52

were doing insects in the nineteenth

52:55

or eighteenth centuries with me how do we

52:57

know on

52:57

talk to people in the nineties nations and so we can

52:59

talk to in i've spoken to women in

53:01

miller elderly inlays women pillow

53:04

very very surprised

53:06

to hear that this is now considered normal

53:08

amount things and millennials so

53:10

i think that just within our lifetimes with seem

53:13

quite wrap the changes in his sexual

53:16

russians because a lot of this is just kind of

53:18

a meme saying this is all networks my and

53:20

said people influencing each other and and this

53:22

is one of the reasons why you can't think about consent just

53:24

in isolation so i think that there isn't a

53:26

sort of licensing to do with submission

53:28

which varies between

53:30

women but it's definitely the as many as

53:32

own i think the problem ways

53:36

the media san as atlantic avenue

53:38

for that instinct and things

53:40

like

53:42

very very violent saxons

53:45

little things that shaking is

53:47

that the sex

53:50

or sexual councillor not is considered to be

53:52

a perfectly nitro

53:54

ideal right and

53:56

you end up with yes maybe

53:58

there are women hate

53:59

the consent to this i mean it is

54:02

worth remembering how often

54:04

angelo issues at play here not always

54:06

i don't wanna say always

54:08

we know that if a woman is cutting herself

54:11

that's very likely to be to do

54:13

with mental illness and yet we say

54:16

that is shall supposed to call her

54:18

was a hit or whatever it is that

54:21

changes things completely i'd i don't i

54:23

don't consider that's because was now definitely

54:25

cases which are actually says he was sources a desire

54:27

for self harm

54:29

in the what transpires on to the panelists

54:31

that that supposedly must happen

54:34

some of the to earth who requested how

54:36

old's your happened how widespread this is

54:38

better but presumably you you

54:41

, you would understand

54:43

that the person who they are all teasers in

54:45

which women would free the consent consent

54:48

hell down and treated like

54:50

treated like a dirty whore her wrist

54:52

barrier

54:53

the i can see that there are to convert

54:56

years and what about

54:56

language like that commutes three use

54:59

of dirty language which

55:01

is actually hard import

55:03

sex can be about to some

55:06

in other words other way in which humans

55:08

are actually in this particular moment

55:11

degenerating with put it that way to be put it

55:13

hard degenerating

55:15

, their animal cells cells

55:19

part of what sex does is in

55:21

a highly constrained constructed

55:23

social setting the human beings human it's

55:26

one of the few of left it

55:29

was people can it act out with

55:32

they can really fantasizing was they can really

55:34

have adventures in a way

55:36

that feels the something is that risk

55:38

to tamer something are civilized life

55:40

is the wilder our sex

55:43

maybe has is as

55:45

as our isn't

55:47

that was were factor in in in

55:50

adventurous the dsm

55:52

kind of sex

55:54

so i do wonder if part

55:56

of the reason that bdsm has a com if

55:59

i did humans

55:59

the people

56:01

is because

56:03

we live search engine nikolai

56:06

who say much more say than our ancestors

56:08

did and then we live much we don't need

56:10

the kind of homosexual lives than those people used

56:12

to retain of clearly demarcated economic

56:15

, domestic roles roles

56:18

we mix freely with the opposite sex a walk and so

56:20

on and you know i know and i notice the in political

56:22

terms the very existence of femininity

56:24

muslims can even maleness and female lesson now

56:26

up for debate i do

56:28

it is interesting to me that

56:31

what bdsm is nice to the time

56:33

is an exaggeration that's

56:36

going into feminine see the new women being

56:38

more

56:39

sydney should be submissive and men

56:41

being more contagious a dominant and

56:44

idea wonder whether people to some extent

56:46

this placing well i

56:48

think i healthier masuda seven and

56:50

wells outside of the bedroom and

56:52

highness

56:54

they'll find , know expression

56:56

in the bedroom door the other hand you could say

56:58

that it's a good decision that

57:00

men and women in public life in

57:03

job place in workplaces and those

57:06

kind of contacts or

57:08

less rigidly handled

57:11

and , is more of a common culture

57:14

culture that is a very healthy development that

57:17

is a way to counteract that psychological

57:20

that a man

57:22

will talk a women's brains out

57:24

as use and expression in a way that

57:26

will give him some blue

57:28

and sour also some sour

57:30

, to the the does

57:32

primordial male female releases

57:35

and the one thing i i think

57:38

that i find kind of fascinating is and

57:40

as the game ends

57:43

particularly interesting we

57:45

can experience sex both

57:47

ways as penetrator

57:49

and printed penetrated in

57:51

a way that know that or sexual

57:54

or lesbian for that matter is the

57:57

the worry man to those in april decisis

57:59

gonna get a troubled by said he was before

58:02

a man's you orgasms usually to

58:04

receive what is the natural goal of the

58:06

sex act he has

58:08

to enter another human beings

58:11

body my deeply

58:13

repeatedly and violently

58:17

if it has been in other words

58:19

sex is intrinsically violence

58:22

there's no way around if

58:25

violence means the application of

58:27

forces of one boy to another and

58:29

more than that his attic inside another

58:31

person's another which makes it extraordinarily

58:34

invasive act of violence

58:39

the vine is on a spectrum

58:40

i'm okay can i give t concrete

58:43

examples of why i think normalizing bdsm

58:45

is

58:45

probably school

58:46

one is the fact that you do end up inevitably

58:49

when the sexual script is changed

58:52

right and when something like shaking particularly

58:54

when we're talking about people have has it

58:56

would be really hardly know so there's no level really

58:58

of trust or communication land and

59:00

there's probably alcohol and drugs involved as well right

59:03

away and things like taking

59:05

slapping spacing all of this stuff which

59:08

is now is considered to be a normal passes

59:11

sexy will do this we will do with someone back

59:13

from the get go you , inevitably

59:16

games and that with a lot of people experience that kind

59:18

of sexy didn't want to and

59:20

you will be

59:21

shocked and upset this

59:23

is something that that the i've

59:26

had a lot from young women who who are real

59:28

horror scientists discovered that this is now what

59:30

they had what they can come to expect from any

59:32

kind of such relationship that is that hyper

59:34

porn aside rights sets one one

59:36

concrete

59:37

the problem the other is

59:40

very

59:42

difficult for me outside to

59:45

tell the difference between a bdsm relationship

59:47

an anna and domestic violence

59:49

my it or it all depends

59:52

on what's going on in the minds that city

59:54

of the two people within the relationship and

59:56

they may know seat and have that much insight into what's

59:58

going on in their minds between

59:59

the victims of domestic violence

1:00:02

often

1:00:03

really struggled to recognize that that's what's going

1:00:05

on and will refuse to cooperate with place

1:00:08

and will defend their abuser and unit that's

1:00:10

that that's the classic responses anyone in a

1:00:13

in , violent relationship and

1:00:16

this accommodate very pertinent issue

1:00:18

when you're dealing with me some cases

1:00:20

the city where someone has done eight and

1:00:22

whether they're not able to

1:00:25

the give her side of what happened and only

1:00:27

i've i work on on

1:00:30

a campaign group that looks at precisely this cases

1:00:32

where women have been killed

1:00:34

an action is had said they consented to

1:00:36

the finances part of reflection that they died accidentally

1:00:39

normally see taking

1:00:41

that not always sometimes to other

1:00:43

the other forms of violence spree

1:00:45

extraordinarily extreme

1:00:47

violence or certain

1:00:49

also no indications of existing

1:00:52

domestic abuse are we

1:00:54

talking about women in prostitution has been killed

1:00:56

by punters or women you only just met

1:00:59

and you've met a man in a of junk

1:01:01

girl picks up at a bus stop taking home

1:01:03

a struggle stuff and his

1:01:06

successor okay the she has consulted

1:01:09

strangled when it was that it was that stake

1:01:11

and he was three years in prison as a consequence

1:01:13

the manslaughter

1:01:15

that is a cleaners

1:01:18

the reason that guy's happening

1:01:20

hi

1:01:22

the changing the culture the fact that

1:01:24

journalists and police officers

1:01:26

on judges and juries are all

1:01:28

much more willing to believe

1:01:30

knows his descendants present

1:01:33

that they would never previously has considered plausible

1:01:36

minutes , considered plausible by

1:01:38

many people that women would see topic

1:01:40

clinically for violence even with men that that

1:01:42

they don't said they don't know and decided

1:01:45

to their for using nice easing a sense

1:01:47

tactic with increasing success

1:01:49

we did have a change in the lore and ek brought

1:01:51

about by a campaign last year which is supposed

1:01:53

to make it more difficult to turn

1:01:55

this kind of defense but it's a hard one

1:01:57

highly present

1:01:59

a and as i think a really good

1:02:02

example is the fact that we can't just think about this

1:02:04

an individual turns you never thought experiment is

1:02:06

always to do is that

1:02:07

people intervene consenting adults

1:02:10

why do you care he'd hey listen to it

1:02:12

sort of thing that a problem is it's sexes

1:02:14

network

1:02:16

and what you d

1:02:18

they don't eat inherently relational right

1:02:20

say whatever whatever such persons you have

1:02:22

is going to impact on your partner and any partners

1:02:24

that they have the nine

1:02:26

and is all second it and therefore is

1:02:28

gonna influence the culture

1:02:32

you may

1:02:33

the deeply conservative

1:02:35

and i mean that in a in a good way pointed

1:02:38

out to matters that culture will shape

1:02:41

the individual will will give them sense

1:02:44

of what do you really want

1:02:46

and eat and and by giving

1:02:48

them certain options will get some interest

1:02:50

by his options may actually wants them

1:02:53

to seek further up since the so since other words it's a

1:02:55

kind of dynamic oh

1:02:58

and he and his far more complex i

1:03:00

think than any the can really reckoned with

1:03:03

and yet is why any change needs to be

1:03:05

this is very catholic to get publicly

1:03:08

publicly in

1:03:10

anglo american let's

1:03:12

the culture is super hostile

1:03:16

the man to their

1:03:18

sexual aggression that

1:03:20

the that the

1:03:23

me too movement the regulation of spaces

1:03:26

in , and public spaces

1:03:28

we are much much much more

1:03:30

aware aware the way

1:03:32

in which power can be abused and this is clearly

1:03:35

it to my to overwhelmingly

1:03:37

a good thing that that

1:03:40

the way in which men used

1:03:42

to abuse positions

1:03:44

of power in offices a or in

1:03:46

their workplaces i

1:03:48

mean i never expected and towards my sister

1:03:51

other subs just gobsmacked his

1:03:53

way you miss miss treated

1:03:55

her in her life is it

1:03:57

really is soaking to

1:03:59

me exhibit it was shocking to me when

1:04:02

i think about the way gay men interact with each other

1:04:04

it seems quite deeply mail

1:04:07

quite away with deeply misaligned

1:04:09

when it comes to women so the

1:04:11

one on the one hand you have the

1:04:14

suit a private pony resurgence

1:04:18

in mail valuation of male

1:04:20

could assume and males you also see

1:04:22

for example in

1:04:24

the public culture the male body

1:04:27

being is a completely different things

1:04:29

it was thirty years

1:04:32

you see hyper masculine then

1:04:35

everywhere the super action movies

1:04:37

coming with every movie star now

1:04:39

as i said sizes

1:04:42

in what used to be a puny

1:04:44

little man and same and sports where

1:04:46

everyone's to stuff how much

1:04:48

using steroids

1:04:52

to be affected this especially we talking

1:04:54

about young men are particularly

1:04:56

becoming michael

1:04:59

three i gave mostly street

1:05:01

hopes on cooked on masculinity

1:05:06

congressional had a full effect

1:05:09

my grandma you can see you

1:05:11

can see what i'm getting hammered

1:05:13

yeah yeah yeah i mean it's gonna to transport

1:05:15

the women getting sellers and stuff isn't as i think

1:05:17

that it's and must have a nazi social media nine

1:05:20

the impression that

1:05:22

someone like instagram gets here

1:05:24

is that your pool of into sexual

1:05:26

competition

1:05:29

vastly larger

1:05:30

contains in a peaceful people in the world

1:05:33

by it's where is normally your pulled

1:05:35

his intersex a competition is the people who live

1:05:37

around you who are just as like

1:05:40

mark skinny

1:05:42

and hideous as you are so i'm sure you

1:05:44

got england ff ff ff

1:05:46

to i'm sure that i will stay must

1:05:49

be driving the kind of escalation as body

1:05:51

modifications also just as at

1:05:53

the we have this technology that permits that

1:05:55

permits yeah i think to some extent that does

1:05:57

the cosmetic surgery that mesic intervention

1:05:59

the shameless better than just i

1:06:01

the for innovation cindy something comes on the market

1:06:04

people are gonna want to use it because of it wants to peaceful

1:06:06

and it starts celebrities and consulted stand

1:06:08

consulted the

1:06:09

lots of examples of public

1:06:12

would and culturally either i

1:06:14

think of the song the minutes on w

1:06:16

a t were to ask pussy

1:06:18

the lyrics of hip hop all

1:06:21

of which as it did the phenomena noticed

1:06:23

working in which women

1:06:25

, publicly in dance

1:06:27

over time will

1:06:29

adopt will that looks as if they're gonna

1:06:31

be gang raped

1:06:33

from has into her this showing

1:06:35

their ass as the major

1:06:38

forward feature who's responsible

1:06:41

for that it's really it's really synopsis

1:06:43

men doing this right it's right it's also

1:06:45

luxuriating in their sexual attractiveness

1:06:47

as they always have court

1:06:49

the eyes of those words what it's

1:06:51

worth thinking let the what clear

1:06:53

x ah

1:06:56

the region closely for free actually

1:06:58

don't have a great deal seriously while desire

1:07:01

it's all about it's all about the

1:07:03

woman

1:07:04

using that's an

1:07:06

attraction to material benefit

1:07:09

from men in a things like pay my tuition

1:07:12

you know that she wants she wants at ottoman rule the

1:07:14

details this orientated around

1:07:17

consumption which is wireless a the

1:07:19

may as well the think pieces at the time that suicide

1:07:22

within reclaiming the pressure were alone a this

1:07:24

is just a this is extremely

1:07:26

tried to put it

1:07:27

so within a inner city

1:07:29

culture the new it's how

1:07:31

the hood is barely is

1:07:33

it it's a a part time endeavour

1:07:35

in which women have been landed

1:07:38

essentially by man in which children abandoned

1:07:41

the man any which her

1:07:43

ability to use this now was away for

1:07:46

financial or economic gain

1:07:48

is the only use the

1:07:50

the have what i find interesting about

1:07:52

that is overseas bad for women but how

1:07:55

, is it's man i mean once in i think that

1:07:58

sometimes feminists don't have space the

1:08:00

embassy score

1:08:02

that the set that male sex drive the testosterone

1:08:05

itself without

1:08:08

a means of to trouble is denying

1:08:10

that is exotic if it does exist as as

1:08:13

and it's salient impact

1:08:15

upon behavior removes

1:08:17

any empty seats from the

1:08:19

the mail tackling and

1:08:22

living the bodies

1:08:25

in the chemical under

1:08:27

his hormones that is incredibly

1:08:30

potent and driving you choose

1:08:33

, fuck anything that moves i met met

1:08:36

i went only testosterone therapy

1:08:39

hello many years ago the one

1:08:41

thing ago the was do a three days after the

1:08:43

sought when testosterone was pc to

1:08:45

how i was a different person that

1:08:47

that we don't have a way to both

1:08:49

sympathize we'll

1:08:52

man without damning them

1:08:54

in ways that kind

1:08:56

, get men to say will screw you over

1:08:58

the hell am i supposed to do thirty reach man

1:09:01

is this how did how do you actually because

1:09:04

i think the great in the made movie but as the great weaknesses

1:09:06

though book it

1:09:10

it is what he doesn't have anything

1:09:12

to purpose except if

1:09:14

you're a woman today don't

1:09:17

, sucked into the culture of sexual

1:09:19

adventurism understand that you're

1:09:21

going to be happier and better with

1:09:23

one good man that's that

1:09:27

less than has been taught to women and daughters

1:09:29

now every day

1:09:31

a week every country on earth splendid

1:09:34

it hasn't changed anything

1:09:36

the i go to have hobbies

1:09:37

they are you enact some kind of repressive

1:09:41

legal , sue

1:09:43

provides a disincentives and this is where your

1:09:46

post liberal position comes into

1:09:48

force was measured the what public

1:09:50

met where you go to make to force

1:09:52

harder harder you going to make abortion

1:09:55

harder are you going to make concepts

1:09:57

and harder to get where you're going to ban

1:10:00

learn what are the things that you would do

1:10:02

to write what you think the imbalance

1:10:05

in our sexual or

1:10:08

i mean i start trim encouraging

1:10:10

in the book identical at policy in the book

1:10:12

i do talk about individual behavior

1:10:15

and i can i do encourage women to sell more confident

1:10:17

in their but it's as bait cape wanted

1:10:19

to things about seamount agree ability is

1:10:22

is one of these psychological factors in which

1:10:24

men and women disa women are more agreeable

1:10:26

some mental right in that them the

1:10:28

sad more willing on average to for

1:10:30

other people fast and

1:10:34

you know i've witnessed among my friends and acquaintances

1:10:36

the most astonishing degree

1:10:38

of will behave in a chump really are just

1:10:41

allowing allowing men's a has complete license

1:10:43

and and and actually we we like it would

1:10:45

be possible to put up a boundary and say no

1:10:48

and and a lot of dice the jamie the fact that this exposed

1:10:50

to feminist things really high status and has been

1:10:53

for some decades now and

1:10:55

the idea of being frigid british such a low

1:10:58

status is a point

1:11:00

where actually kind of such things

1:11:02

having i can conversations i'm just

1:11:04

saying these things i mean that the most common response

1:11:06

i've had to the books i phone is been out in the uk for

1:11:08

few months and to sign states is

1:11:11

i've been thinking that i've been thinking this a whole

1:11:13

time thank you so much for saying it's has been a very very common

1:11:15

response

1:11:16

including from young women him to i

1:11:18

hope might feel more

1:11:21

confident now in

1:11:24

in protecting the sexual boundaries

1:11:26

and has has i may i do i

1:11:28

do think that i think no fault divorce is

1:11:30

a bad thing for

1:11:32

instance we recently just recently introduced

1:11:35

any time i think that there are cases

1:11:37

when divorce the

1:11:39

best option of bad options then

1:11:42

i think it needs to be available for those cases

1:11:45

that the whole premise of no fault divorce

1:11:47

it's know what is that cases right

1:11:49

that that isn't obese that isn't like

1:11:51

serious problems in the relationship caused

1:11:53

by one party does premises is actually

1:11:56

had people have just kind of drifted

1:11:58

apart for don't have lost whatever

1:11:59

and i and i think that it marriages to mean anything

1:12:02

whatsoever they

1:12:04

can't be something the even whimsically

1:12:06

back out of if it's gonna have any because my

1:12:09

argument is that it has

1:12:11

if it's most important

1:12:13

function of marriage

1:12:15

to protect children

1:12:18

and if not doing that and an end to

1:12:20

the know the real we've been talking to know about

1:12:23

his losses actually says that men or is it women

1:12:25

is actually children at amazes since

1:12:27

i translation my and the and the destruction

1:12:29

of insists of marriage so ideal

1:12:31

absolutely support measures to

1:12:34

and and an encouragement i think

1:12:36

in general i had to sell carrots to stick

1:12:40

i'm i'm i'm only the consensus

1:12:42

on that one and also on porn

1:12:44

absences the ponies sydney's be much

1:12:46

more heavily regulated don't

1:12:48

want her i mean that if we could adopt

1:12:50

i think it's feasible i don't want to remove

1:12:53

conception

1:12:54

the main concern available options filament

1:12:56

amazon a personal level i don't want to spend my entire

1:12:58

life pregnant which , be be

1:13:01

would be the alternative right and that was true for

1:13:03

many women right even he would he would either be

1:13:05

pregnant or nursing right

1:13:07

up until maniples and then until maniples right and

1:13:10

and the physical burden of that

1:13:12

it was extraordinary and similarly

1:13:15

in similarly don't think so

1:13:17

added abortion is a good thing

1:13:19

it's not something i would wish on my worst enemies

1:13:21

and even just just it the even stepping

1:13:23

aside from the mall status symbol one

1:13:26

child i think that that it's not something that any

1:13:28

woman enjoys my it's not it you're

1:13:30

a good thing to do three it's also

1:13:34

there are

1:13:36

cases where almost everyone is agreed that it that

1:13:38

is is the best with that options including

1:13:41

in america right the noodles view of in america

1:13:43

is actually that there are certain situations in which abortion

1:13:45

is okay and the earlier the

1:13:48

better isn't it is the common view

1:13:50

it's actually remarkable degree of agreement was

1:13:52

taught me whether it's a song you to start living with controversy

1:13:55

sign of some elements of extremism

1:13:57

been the women's rights movement that seeks to

1:13:59

celebrate

1:13:59

a boy

1:14:00

yeah wishes he does it says an arched

1:14:03

i think is a

1:14:05

i think it's so rare for women to feel that way

1:14:08

i think feeling it that it is unnecessary tragedy

1:14:10

is the correct position

1:14:12

the island

1:14:12

the division that is less likely to invites

1:14:15

that kind of system in illegal backlash

1:14:18

that we sing

1:14:19

what

1:14:21

the sexual pleasure as

1:14:23

to a human life i

1:14:26

mean this is this is what in

1:14:28

some ways what we talking about in terms of

1:14:30

the human goods places that we

1:14:32

have in a world as listening to music that

1:14:34

there's , love you have for a pet there

1:14:37

is is is a hard

1:14:39

stairs and there is again and

1:14:41

it seems to me that you're

1:14:44

arguing cancer freud and with that

1:14:47

know losing this flesh he

1:14:51

is actually again because

1:14:53

you gain highest places

1:14:55

hire virgins and therefore

1:14:57

the circumspect sit around sex

1:15:00

is is a good thing how

1:15:03

you ambitious i live

1:15:05

in a subculture that is entirely mail

1:15:07

a highly sexualized subculture the

1:15:10

one that is extraordinarily

1:15:12

hard to council because it is driven

1:15:15

so powerfully by

1:15:18

, only everything that if that the

1:15:20

powers straight male sexuality

1:15:23

sexuality removes any female

1:15:25

constraints audits marriage

1:15:27

audits is away the

1:15:30

only the first time we've ever at introduced

1:15:32

into at subculture any

1:15:34

incentive not to engage

1:15:37

in this incentive not without

1:15:39

attempting i think to morally stigmatize

1:15:42

people have sex with a lot sex

1:15:44

to think that isn't

1:15:47

it something wrong with game and having

1:15:50

sex so much the suspect that

1:15:52

many people over time it's

1:15:55

simply a a function of reality

1:16:00

the take mean he doesn't have the says he said charles it

1:16:03

right

1:16:03

the minimum probably would have any women the

1:16:06

exactly yes i think that as

1:16:09

the problem

1:16:11

can i nine split it with

1:16:13

with our current set culture is it encourages

1:16:15

women's imitate man sexuality in it at once

1:16:17

a part of my family member

1:16:19

one imitate the most a trial of the either that

1:16:22

the minds of feminist

1:16:23

the ball is it it after to be sexually frustrated

1:16:26

into haven't wanted sex and ,

1:16:28

anyone group of people in a if

1:16:31

is that is that's the choice of a sudden i think we all

1:16:34

then i think it's better to frustrate

1:16:36

men's be imitation female sexuality developing the other way

1:16:38

round but that's not true for gay men right

1:16:40

as know

1:16:41

they gap to be

1:16:42

it's is looking up either with lesbians

1:16:44

you have your

1:16:47

yeah which is said i just ordinarily

1:16:49

good press says he says

1:16:51

existence as different as a magazine

1:16:53

wouldn't you , it's most

1:16:56

extraordinary proof of known

1:16:59

cultural entirely biological

1:17:02

forces power of old is he not than

1:17:04

one hundred percent put their immensely

1:17:06

more powerful then

1:17:09

then the many people acknowledge

1:17:12

i think an end end end

1:17:14

of the biological difference is huge

1:17:17

how is really there

1:17:20

are other species a don't have these conflicts

1:17:22

split but the humans have been

1:17:24

made if you don't like women

1:17:27

are only horny once a month or

1:17:29

or or there's like three months of the year and

1:17:31

with the species pop reproduces

1:17:34

nine months in with their cubs is

1:17:36

not as if the human male only

1:17:39

wants to ejaculate once ejaculate month for

1:17:41

once a week so

1:17:43

we also he about something really profoundly

1:17:46

promiscuous about the human animal

1:17:48

that is biologically story and six

1:17:51

mb channels or che and you're basically

1:17:53

arguing very recently the the

1:17:55

judeo christian ethic one

1:17:58

man one woman

1:18:02

and the notion of sex itself is i

1:18:04

cling on to what i have didn't jeffrey with the

1:18:06

sex itself is a is a is

1:18:08

a full siren the it's it's

1:18:11

it's it's it's dragging

1:18:13

you to places where yes the human

1:18:15

beings in go sledding which

1:18:17

the human beings his slave to

1:18:20

the passions that passions that

1:18:22

that that that is that underlying where you

1:18:24

are you because if you

1:18:27

don't really have a philosophical background

1:18:29

or structure for the books do not say i'm

1:18:31

a cat with and i miss him of natural law

1:18:33

well i'm it's evolutionary biologist or

1:18:35

this is you'd you'd do in an onset

1:18:38

of i'm sort of trying

1:18:40

to figure out what that might be good to your have

1:18:42

to have one of his the that but

1:18:44

is there something about sex the just troubles

1:18:47

you

1:18:48

no

1:18:49

i will say think that

1:18:52

that doesn't mean the sanctioning intimate

1:18:55

relationships a better insects

1:18:57

in isolation social

1:19:00

level and also an individual level

1:19:03

and , think that a society i

1:19:06

six

1:19:08

i agree with you that sexual repression

1:19:10

causes pain i also recognize

1:19:13

that all societies to moan sexual

1:19:15

repression of some kind

1:19:17

the quit as eating we

1:19:20

do not permit all sorts of things

1:19:22

the do not ain't even relief even

1:19:24

within the consent framework didn't quite make sense

1:19:26

we don't we don't permit necrophilia for

1:19:28

instance with and permit bestiality we

1:19:31

don't permit the public nudity

1:19:34

in my circumstances you know we have all sorts

1:19:36

of legal limit and and

1:19:38

peter philly remains one of the distilled

1:19:41

the still the great to based despite

1:19:43

some assets by some such revolutionaries

1:19:45

like zuckerman so and tastings has pedophilia

1:19:47

it is very very strongly held

1:19:49

still an uneven

1:19:52

the proximate kindness

1:19:53

examples of not even

1:19:55

not even she can silly but say adults distinct

1:19:57

the children whenever is very stigmatize

1:20:00

we do we do

1:20:01

the repression

1:20:03

the night of people the question is

1:20:05

what level you set

1:20:07

and what you asked to repress and that's

1:20:09

and that's what that says a negotiation takes place

1:20:12

what were also finding and we'll

1:20:14

we'll we'll we'll close

1:20:17

the younger generations are having much less sex

1:20:20

the auto racing is

1:20:22

is a function of men

1:20:24

terrified of title nine prosecutions or

1:20:27

does of of of the

1:20:29

that or is a function of women

1:20:32

finally saying you know i don't really feel like

1:20:34

it i don't wanna do this right i

1:20:36

can walk away from it is it because

1:20:38

it you have many many more opportunities to

1:20:41

have successfully apps generally

1:20:43

incredibly strong to

1:20:45

give me three one since we a bath house in their

1:20:47

pocket and yet we have the decline is that

1:20:49

is that of the social

1:20:51

adjustment to most humane or

1:20:54

is it just a sign that are younger and recent is

1:20:56

even more fucked up than we thought they were other

1:21:00

probably all of that to some extent

1:21:02

i think it's so sad fact that people just

1:21:04

not having relationships in the same way that is an anonymous

1:21:07

have relationships new it is t and they're not getting

1:21:09

married other getting married but later and actually

1:21:11

counted tools the sodas jokes

1:21:14

know people have more sex not married people so

1:21:16

i think what's going on and set need your anecdotally

1:21:20

what seems to be go with people are my acquaintances that

1:21:22

is much more common now and probably historically

1:21:24

unprecedented for

1:21:26

women

1:21:27

the only have casual sex relationship

1:21:33

not cannot to to to

1:21:37

the have sex less frequently

1:21:38

when

1:21:41

they do have sex to have it within casual

1:21:43

relationships sounds a little town and everyone's

1:21:46

be everyone's be less coupled

1:21:49

nice to be and maybe that's to deal with

1:21:54

ten the kind of withdrawing

1:21:56

of both sexes from one another

1:21:59

i mean

1:21:59

polygamy women who feel that they have never

1:22:02

been a when the need to man etc

1:22:04

and seemingly the manual withdrawing to

1:22:06

that to that the comes to support which

1:22:08

i think is is him you know i think that there

1:22:10

are there are some people for him that's absolutely the right

1:22:13

the right thing to have always been people

1:22:15

have always been roles historically the people

1:22:17

the didn't wanna participate

1:22:19

the sexual marketplace right nunnery he

1:22:21

serves all sorts of purposes

1:22:23

wonder who was

1:22:25

then he didn't want see it in one has socialized

1:22:27

with men and in our power to them i'm not saying

1:22:29

that that everyone should be obliged what

1:22:32

do you can get a shame the there

1:22:34

does seem to be yeah

1:22:36

this withdrawal from

1:22:38

healthy

1:22:38

that's relationships with job the know

1:22:41

through that complexities to

1:22:43

most people the most important sources meaning

1:22:45

in then i

1:22:48

the reason that rather beautiful notes thank

1:22:50

you for sharing this with as it turns out it

1:22:52

seems to me is to you're asking for just

1:22:54

as a social cultural shift

1:22:57

upon what we've learned it's not as

1:22:59

if we haven't give sexual liberation it's

1:23:02

do and we haven't learned from

1:23:04

it and it see the

1:23:06

dreams for case effects the the

1:23:09

praises of sexual pleasure which

1:23:11

was which think under extraordinary

1:23:14

condemnation for so long lunch into

1:23:16

christian vincent canby

1:23:19

ended without

1:23:20

the ring

1:23:22

everything out with it it's not easy

1:23:24

and it i think that's part of the problem

1:23:26

that we live in as a coach or i where

1:23:28

everyone was be told they

1:23:31

can do whatever they want because decide the others

1:23:33

posting you can do whatever you want because

1:23:36

this is reality loses it's

1:23:38

wonderful to have to you in tokyo thank

1:23:40

you for being the candidate

1:23:42

and and who knows i'm

1:23:44

a complete agnostic about the future of sex i

1:23:46

don't know i think it's because many different uses

1:23:49

at once but i agree with you

1:23:51

essentially that the collapse of meaningful

1:23:54

relationships heterosexual a lot of

1:23:56

people is undermining the capacity

1:23:58

for even healthy families

1:24:01

which is undermining the possibility

1:24:03

of human apples and we can do better on

1:24:07

that wonderful know will be happy to see you next

1:24:09

week i hope i , we my

1:24:11

voice will be a little better little reminder that

1:24:13

if you enjoyed this and you're glad you didn't

1:24:16

get interrupted by by or

1:24:18

by me touting the benefits of my

1:24:20

new mortgage contribute and subscribe

1:24:22

to keeps us going we're doing something i so

1:24:25

quite possible here talking to people as

1:24:27

openly as we can about any subject under

1:24:29

the sun with freedom and with yours but

1:24:31

look forward you com it's to see was

1:24:34

it is cast we will publish of course

1:24:36

all the best and the says and says

1:24:39

melee of me but occasionally if i guess

1:24:41

if well on that note have

1:24:43

a lovely weekends and i have

1:24:45

to see was an actual voice next

1:24:47

week