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24: Turning Fear Into Action

24: Turning Fear Into Action

Released Thursday, 1st December 2022
Good episode? Give it some love!
24: Turning Fear Into Action

24: Turning Fear Into Action

24: Turning Fear Into Action

24: Turning Fear Into Action

Thursday, 1st December 2022
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:46

I was having a discussion the other day with a coaching client and he told me.

0:51

That he was felt like he was holding himself back, that he

0:54

felt like he was holding himself back from doing purposeful work.

0:58

That he thinks that he really wants to pursue.

1:02

What was holding him back. Fear.

1:07

Fear of putting himself out there in public. Fear of failure, fear of being judged.

1:13

Fear of choosing the wrong path, making mistakes.

1:17

The fear of not being good enough. Do any of these fears sound familiar?

1:22

They're super common and they do hold a lot of people back from pushing themselves

1:27

into the discomfort and uncertainty.

1:31

Of meaningful work. These fears cause us to procrastinate, distract ourselves, comfort

1:37

ourselves with food and social media and shopping and games.

1:41

We avoid even thinking about it. And then we beat ourselves up for not doing anything.

1:48

If we could just deal with these fears, we'd all be rock stars.

1:53

I'd like to share a few techniques that will help.

1:55

There are a few techniques that I shared with my coaching client.

1:59

And if you practice them, One at a time.

2:02

I promise you that that fear will quickly turn into action.

2:08

Most people make the mistake of imagining themselves.

2:12

At the scariest part of the journey on their journey to meaningful work.

2:18

Speaking in front of a huge crowd. If you want to do public, you know, public speaking.

2:22

Having an audience of hundreds of thousands of people.

2:25

If you want to write a blog post or do a podcast or have a YouTube channel.

2:29

Managing and a huge team. If you want to be in a large and running large organization.

2:36

But that's like wanting to be a football player and starting your

2:39

first game at the super bowl. You're not ready for that kind of pressure.

2:45

Instead. Football players start with youth football, high school

2:49

football, then college. Before they ever consider the big leagues.

2:55

If you're an author, this means just one blog post.

3:00

No one will read it at first and there's no pressure.

3:04

Then you write another one. If you want to do public speaking or do YouTube videos.

3:09

Just speak in front of a few friends. Then maybe a group of 10 people, again, that's if you're

3:15

going to do public speaking. If you're going to do YouTube videos, just put out your first video.

3:20

It's fine. No one will watch it. That's not the point.

3:24

One small step at a time.

3:27

We'll get you more and more prepared as you take each step.

3:33

This is actually known as exposure therapy.

3:36

Exposing yourself gradually to the thing you fear.

3:40

Starting with the least scary version of it.

3:43

It's actually pretty effective. And you can use it.

3:47

My structuring, your project progress gradually starting very small.

3:52

But you have to take that first step.

3:56

Now, this is where we bring up mindfulness.

3:58

When you're feeling the fear, instead of turning away and running from it.

4:03

Or trying to escape or avoid it.

4:06

Try turning towards it. Look fear in the eye.

4:10

Actually allow yourself to feel the fear.

4:13

We don't often want to feel it, but we have a greater capacity to feel fear.

4:18

Than we give ourselves credit for.

4:21

But we spend so much time running away from it. Try it next time.

4:26

Notice how the fear feels in your body.

4:30

Not the story about it, the one going on in your head, but the actual physical

4:34

sensations of the fear in your body.

4:38

Allow it to stay with you to be with it.

4:41

To tell yourself that it's okay. Be friendly towards yourself and the feeling of fear.

4:47

Gentle curious, openness.

4:51

You're able to look that fear in the eye. You're actually transform your relationship with fear,

4:57

even if it doesn't go away. But standing in the same room for, with fear.

5:03

Is extremely powerful. In fact, you'll start to realize that you don't need to get rid of fear.

5:10

You don't actually need to do anything about it.

5:13

It's not the problem. It's just a feeling, just an experienced.

5:17

Just a part of the meaningful work you want to do.

5:23

Uh, fear comes up because we have a story about what might happen to us.

5:28

For example, if I try to write this book or start this business.

5:32

I'll fail. People will judge me. Because I'm not good enough.

5:37

The last part might not be vocalized, but really that's the underlying story.

5:42

This is natural. It's good to notice what our story is to become more aware of it.

5:48

And then to start to see its power over us.

5:52

Once we become more aware of the story, we can practice dropping it.

5:57

And. Dropping the ego.

6:01

The self-centeredness that is really at the center of the story.

6:05

That we tell each other. That we tell ourselves in her hand.

6:10

How do we do that? By dropping into the present moment.

6:15

Becoming aware of the sensations of your body, your breath, the fear and

6:19

everything else that surrounds you. Dropping into the present moment being fully immersed in

6:25

what is happening right now. Our ego drops away.

6:31

We got to throw our ego to the side. The story about what might happen.

6:37

Drops away. We can't think about both at the same time.

6:40

We can't think about the story we're telling ourselves.

6:43

And the ego at the same time. So the story will come back along with our self concern or self-centeredness.

6:51

And then we practice dropping everything again and being present.

6:55

We need to stand up over and over again until we get good at

6:59

letting go and being present.

7:03

Being in the present. We can do the work.

7:07

We can take the next step. No, don't worry about.

7:12

Ourselves, but instead take action for the sake of people

7:16

we most deeply want to serve. So we're taking small steps, exposing ourselves gradually to fear.

7:25

We're feeling the fear we're dropping the ego.

7:28

And stepping into the present. Now from this place, we can practice open.

7:36

We can practice being open and having an open mind.

7:39

What is practicing opening like.

7:43

Imagine that you have to do the hard work to get to your meaningful

7:46

project to get it started.

7:50

You feel the fear and resistance stay present with it.

7:53

But open to the action of the task in front of you.

7:57

You become fully present with the task, opening your mind and your heart to it.

8:02

You start to fully appreciate the beauty and the joy of the task.

8:06

Opening yourself to this incredible experience, which

8:10

might include discomfort. Uncertainty, fear and resistance.

8:14

All of it. It's all mixed in with the joy and gratitude you feel for

8:20

being here now with this task.

8:24

Doing it for the people you care about.

8:27

It's actually fantastic. And you have the privilege of being able to do it.

8:33

So the next time you feel those fear gremlins.

8:38

Coming up. And they're standing in the way of your doing meaningful work.

8:44

Allow yourself to feel the fear.

8:46

Practice dropping your ego. And be open to joy.

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