Episode Transcript
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0:46
I was having a discussion the other day with a coaching client and he told me.
0:51
That he was felt like he was holding himself back, that he
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felt like he was holding himself back from doing purposeful work.
0:58
That he thinks that he really wants to pursue.
1:02
What was holding him back. Fear.
1:07
Fear of putting himself out there in public. Fear of failure, fear of being judged.
1:13
Fear of choosing the wrong path, making mistakes.
1:17
The fear of not being good enough. Do any of these fears sound familiar?
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They're super common and they do hold a lot of people back from pushing themselves
1:27
into the discomfort and uncertainty.
1:31
Of meaningful work. These fears cause us to procrastinate, distract ourselves, comfort
1:37
ourselves with food and social media and shopping and games.
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We avoid even thinking about it. And then we beat ourselves up for not doing anything.
1:48
If we could just deal with these fears, we'd all be rock stars.
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I'd like to share a few techniques that will help.
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There are a few techniques that I shared with my coaching client.
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And if you practice them, One at a time.
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I promise you that that fear will quickly turn into action.
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Most people make the mistake of imagining themselves.
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At the scariest part of the journey on their journey to meaningful work.
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Speaking in front of a huge crowd. If you want to do public, you know, public speaking.
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Having an audience of hundreds of thousands of people.
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If you want to write a blog post or do a podcast or have a YouTube channel.
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Managing and a huge team. If you want to be in a large and running large organization.
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But that's like wanting to be a football player and starting your
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first game at the super bowl. You're not ready for that kind of pressure.
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Instead. Football players start with youth football, high school
2:49
football, then college. Before they ever consider the big leagues.
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If you're an author, this means just one blog post.
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No one will read it at first and there's no pressure.
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Then you write another one. If you want to do public speaking or do YouTube videos.
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Just speak in front of a few friends. Then maybe a group of 10 people, again, that's if you're
3:15
going to do public speaking. If you're going to do YouTube videos, just put out your first video.
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It's fine. No one will watch it. That's not the point.
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One small step at a time.
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We'll get you more and more prepared as you take each step.
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This is actually known as exposure therapy.
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Exposing yourself gradually to the thing you fear.
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Starting with the least scary version of it.
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It's actually pretty effective. And you can use it.
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My structuring, your project progress gradually starting very small.
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But you have to take that first step.
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Now, this is where we bring up mindfulness.
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When you're feeling the fear, instead of turning away and running from it.
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Or trying to escape or avoid it.
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Try turning towards it. Look fear in the eye.
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Actually allow yourself to feel the fear.
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We don't often want to feel it, but we have a greater capacity to feel fear.
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Than we give ourselves credit for.
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But we spend so much time running away from it. Try it next time.
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Notice how the fear feels in your body.
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Not the story about it, the one going on in your head, but the actual physical
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sensations of the fear in your body.
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Allow it to stay with you to be with it.
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To tell yourself that it's okay. Be friendly towards yourself and the feeling of fear.
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Gentle curious, openness.
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You're able to look that fear in the eye. You're actually transform your relationship with fear,
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even if it doesn't go away. But standing in the same room for, with fear.
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Is extremely powerful. In fact, you'll start to realize that you don't need to get rid of fear.
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You don't actually need to do anything about it.
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It's not the problem. It's just a feeling, just an experienced.
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Just a part of the meaningful work you want to do.
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Uh, fear comes up because we have a story about what might happen to us.
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For example, if I try to write this book or start this business.
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I'll fail. People will judge me. Because I'm not good enough.
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The last part might not be vocalized, but really that's the underlying story.
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This is natural. It's good to notice what our story is to become more aware of it.
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And then to start to see its power over us.
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Once we become more aware of the story, we can practice dropping it.
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And. Dropping the ego.
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The self-centeredness that is really at the center of the story.
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That we tell each other. That we tell ourselves in her hand.
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How do we do that? By dropping into the present moment.
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Becoming aware of the sensations of your body, your breath, the fear and
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everything else that surrounds you. Dropping into the present moment being fully immersed in
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what is happening right now. Our ego drops away.
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We got to throw our ego to the side. The story about what might happen.
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Drops away. We can't think about both at the same time.
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We can't think about the story we're telling ourselves.
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And the ego at the same time. So the story will come back along with our self concern or self-centeredness.
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And then we practice dropping everything again and being present.
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We need to stand up over and over again until we get good at
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letting go and being present.
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Being in the present. We can do the work.
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We can take the next step. No, don't worry about.
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Ourselves, but instead take action for the sake of people
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we most deeply want to serve. So we're taking small steps, exposing ourselves gradually to fear.
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We're feeling the fear we're dropping the ego.
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And stepping into the present. Now from this place, we can practice open.
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We can practice being open and having an open mind.
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What is practicing opening like.
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Imagine that you have to do the hard work to get to your meaningful
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project to get it started.
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You feel the fear and resistance stay present with it.
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But open to the action of the task in front of you.
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You become fully present with the task, opening your mind and your heart to it.
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You start to fully appreciate the beauty and the joy of the task.
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Opening yourself to this incredible experience, which
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might include discomfort. Uncertainty, fear and resistance.
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All of it. It's all mixed in with the joy and gratitude you feel for
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being here now with this task.
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Doing it for the people you care about.
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It's actually fantastic. And you have the privilege of being able to do it.
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So the next time you feel those fear gremlins.
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Coming up. And they're standing in the way of your doing meaningful work.
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Allow yourself to feel the fear.
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Practice dropping your ego. And be open to joy.
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