0:04

I don't know how much you listen to

0:06

the podcast and for how long, but. We've

0:10

had a that. We've

0:13

taken so bad chances in the past

0:15

with the. Charlie

0:17

the intern and in. Bar

0:20

Matt the bar make your Egg

0:23

experience that? yeah. Showed him the

0:25

as you Go to the Sinners

0:27

product from a weekend of an

0:29

accurate arbat. Yeah, the professional gambler?

0:32

yeah. state as a gonna the.

0:34

Junkyard is is just because I want

0:36

something kind of like an apocalypse. Now

0:38

are they hung corpses of the trader

0:40

is out of. The

0:43

newcomers to see I keep that

0:45

bar and go down to don't

0:47

Promise. The. World and Deliver. This

0:49

is. As

0:51

good as it you would have

0:53

been disappointed if I didn't get

0:55

to see that have the description

0:57

of it. Yeah, you to the

0:59

i didn't know, I didn't show.

1:01

There's still a sticky spot where

1:04

the epoxy still as not months

1:06

later have hardened. I'm not worried

1:08

about satisfying. you're worried about satisfying

1:10

Chailly. Yeah, that's really who you're

1:12

auditioning for right now. Who does

1:14

For yet there's really not be

1:16

back to for about a month.

1:19

A dancer bridges. Sides

1:22

I decided way I do it gets

1:24

really hot side by side. Peace but

1:26

mainly. Three as

1:28

meetings bagged it says on a new

1:30

now bridges is his name his trousers

1:33

was the other times it's on edge

1:35

of riches A know how do you

1:37

have to ask I thought my goat

1:39

very using. Wow, it's.

1:44

So yeah, yet to jail is

1:46

the hard sell, right? Yeah

1:51

yeah, time to. Lean into

1:53

this. You have a. So

1:56

you have no family to speak

1:58

of now. family. Well,

2:02

in Pennsylvania, now what part? Central

2:05

Pennsylvania, Lewisburg, Pennsylvania. He definitely

2:07

has Brad's accent because he's

2:10

also a Wisconsinite and just

2:12

a hint of the

2:14

speech thing that Brad has. Not

2:17

enough to... That might be due to

2:19

the very expensive veneers. Yeah, no, the

2:22

fucking...the toothwork is very... Top

2:24

job. Very top job. Should've

2:26

seen him before. Yeah,

2:29

but that's why I'm afraid of getting

2:31

mine fucked with is like if I

2:33

get a rich boss speech impediment, like

2:36

he got some...like yeah, he smoked crack

2:38

till his teeth went away and then

2:40

he got...I think this is how it

2:42

goes. I should fact

2:44

check before I say this on a

2:46

podcast. Well, then he's got the speech

2:48

impediment that everyone jibes him

2:51

about. He does have a

2:53

sound. I had a list before,

2:55

so... All right, well, so does

2:57

Brad. We'll bring him over so you don't feel

2:59

bad. There you go. Yeah,

3:01

the Packers secondary doesn't have the same...

3:03

Secondary. Yeah, I can't do it.

3:06

I have to be around him for a while.

3:08

That's his coaster? Yeah, yeah.

3:10

I'm glad. We used to be all Packers

3:12

fans here. Maybe you can

3:14

reinvent that. We're gonna

3:17

just refer to you as

3:19

an intern because it's...that usually

3:21

generally means no pay, but we're gonna have

3:23

to pay you something because... I can't.

3:26

At first. You think sideways. It's a

3:28

straight. It belongs to somebody, just not us. Seems to

3:30

like me. Yeah, it's a big two little things.

3:32

Here's the thing. The difference between

3:35

Charlie the intern is he basically

3:37

said, these are my qualifications and

3:48

they weren't astounding. Charlie

3:51

the intern said, oh, you having

3:53

a problem with the bank? I'll have that bank paying

3:55

you $10,000. Just with the...

3:57

Oh, you're buying a new car? I Know tricks. Get

4:00

a good ten thousand dollar shave that. The list

4:02

price of everything that's going. To use?

4:04

Yes. And you know what he

4:06

ended up doing? Breaking rocks, literally

4:08

smashing concrete dogs smaller sizes as

4:10

they could fit and is a

4:12

fucking backwards pick up. Surfing. Go

4:14

to the dump. Sad. Switzerland's the

4:17

that whole yard for the not

4:19

oversell because basically I'm good at

4:21

shivers say that that I. Have

4:24

done every job to very medium. Level

4:29

of it's of the. Zebra

4:31

seizure are disputed by the way of

4:33

degree of madness Macys A mid major

4:36

breathing on me or harm. Someone

4:40

is my psychiatrist now. Surrender

4:42

Bill. That we

4:44

did the first one of them as it once. I

4:46

had to use a Perfect Deaths I'm

4:48

told him I will tell gay and

4:50

demurred and next four episodes. The problem

4:52

is is he can have find out

4:54

because I told him. That.

4:57

I'm a stage performer. And

4:59

she's gonna for and he kept go back to

5:02

have no he would you say stage for for

5:04

more time to even will not eat you up.

5:06

Yeah. During your session so for

5:09

monitoring immediately as not you know

5:11

you know closely with the not

5:13

have in the camera on the

5:15

city has to be killing fields

5:18

look as is so I so

5:20

it's a nice to have my

5:22

tour manager for Chailly and sellers

5:25

of basically of fleas ask me

5:27

what I do is what I

5:29

realized I was say no without

5:31

realizing it. up but

5:34

the as he gets him to go

5:36

somewhere among certain upon my saying his

5:38

sentence assess assess assess his phone's the

5:40

mysterious there was absolutely true i have

5:42

i don't like a fucking zoomed is

5:45

only looking at my own face and

5:47

then i forget what i'm talking about

5:49

is a growth just focus on how

5:51

stupid i love the don't always have

5:53

here for like humphrey hours or so

5:56

and is already have put up the

5:58

christmas tree the standard family Christmas tree

6:00

in there? The white... Put up Christmas lights

6:02

up around the deck. It's for your Christmas tree.

6:05

Let's like, fucking check the mail. Prepare

6:07

to be... You know what? When I

6:09

check the mail, I get shit. When

6:11

you check my mail for me... It's

6:13

short and short. It's a baby

6:15

tree. Yeah,

6:18

it's a family. I'm thinking passed down

6:20

from generation to generation. Yeah. From

6:22

the... From the FedEx mansion. Yeah.

6:25

I'm calling my dad. Okay.

6:29

But back to Delaney. Yeah. For the

6:31

viewer or the listener. He wants

6:34

to start with where this began. Well,

6:37

since you live in the corporate world,

6:39

why don't we do it corporate style? And you tell

6:41

us the questions. Like, if

6:44

you were him, trying

6:47

to be an intern at the Shake

6:49

the Baby Incorporated before we go public. What

6:52

would you do on it? Before we

6:54

IPO? Okay. Yeah. What

6:58

would they ask you? What

7:01

would your boss be asking you if

7:03

you came up here? If

7:05

I came to interview for this job, what would

7:07

my boss say? Yeah, so just... What the hell

7:09

are you doing? That's right. Your

7:13

boss is your friend. Well, yeah. Like,

7:15

do I get two weeks notice? That's

7:17

probably his first question. But... We

7:22

usually write out a job description first. What is the

7:24

job description? Well, he just told me

7:26

a bunch of shit he could do. And one of them was, oh,

7:29

by the way, I used to hang

7:31

art for a dealer. And I go, well, I

7:33

get that job. Because all the shit that you

7:35

could be on the wall... That's huge. He

7:38

sent me an email. You tell him. He

7:41

was on a dating website. I

7:43

was listening to the podcast,

7:47

and Doug was ranting about

7:49

how he can't find anybody in Bisbee

7:52

to do any work around here. Oh, was that

7:54

episode one or a thousand? A thousand. Everyone

7:57

in between. other

8:00

podcast where it was mentioned

8:02

in passing that people

8:04

are either rich retirees, trust funders

8:06

or hippies who I believe you

8:08

said say they can work but

8:11

then don't want to work. Yeah,

8:13

I never said rich people. I've had

8:15

people on disability that don't want to

8:18

work. They're on social security or disability.

8:20

Yeah, they're retired. And they're usually more

8:22

able than I am. If they're on

8:24

disability, they're probably in better shape than

8:27

I am to do most physical things.

8:30

I think if you can get a prescription for Xanax,

8:32

you can say that you have an anxiety disorder that

8:34

prevents you from ever getting up on time

8:36

or going anywhere. It seems

8:38

the same reason I don't lease

8:40

a car. I buy

8:42

them where your accountant always says lease it.

8:45

Yeah, but if you lease it, you have

8:47

to worry about any little fucking dent. I

8:49

have to go get it fixed. If

8:51

I am on disability, then I have to go

8:53

through what she goes through like, oh, wait, I

8:55

can't make a fucking dollar and they can take

8:57

it all away from me because they found out

8:59

that I had a paper out on the side

9:02

or I don't want to have to worry about the

9:04

P's and Q's running for

9:06

president. Oh, yeah, but if you

9:08

talk about your campaign at a

9:10

gig, then they can call all

9:12

the ticket money. I

9:15

have to claim that as campaign. I'm like, I'm

9:18

not fucking doing that. Right. I

9:20

don't need to fund the world that.

9:22

Yeah, I could absolutely fix this country

9:24

in under four years. I could take probably do it

9:27

in two and a half years and take a year

9:29

and a half off with everyone just gone. Wow, that

9:31

was fucking cool. But I don't

9:33

know what the paperwork involved. Fuck them.

9:36

Yeah. So you sent Doug an email. So

9:38

I sent Doug an email because I'm

9:41

doing good job. Yeah. I'm doing like

9:43

an online coding school right

9:45

now. Cool. That is, you know,

9:47

for six months, it'll probably be more like eight

9:49

to nine just because it's, I'm

9:51

not good at that shit. Really. I just want to move

9:53

the biz B and I know I can't

9:56

work at Safeway and stock shelves and have people treat

9:58

me like shit all day. for

10:00

$10 an hour. So you want

10:02

a remote job. A remote job, yeah.

10:04

Okay. A skill. Yeah. But

10:06

you picked one you hate. Well, there's

10:09

no good ones to do. I'm

10:11

a musician, all right? So I could record

10:13

music and stay at home all the time,

10:15

but the buy-in for that is really

10:17

high. I'd have to buy a drum

10:19

kit. I play guitar. So I have an interface,

10:21

a guitar, a computer. The computer I

10:23

can do all kinds of shit with. The

10:26

rest of it I can only record music with, and

10:28

it's expensive. I don't know anybody who can

10:30

pay to record music around here, and

10:32

I don't know that I'm good enough to do that

10:34

for like the first five years I'm gonna be doing

10:36

it. It ain't around here. There are a lot of

10:38

talented musicians here, but they don't have them. It ain't

10:40

around here. And there's already people doing that. I'm positive,

10:42

because the one- Well, we know, yeah. Kevin

10:45

Star, Mr. Bonner, D.T.

10:50

I don't know what he has. Him and...

10:53

Dan Simone, him and someone that we know

10:56

opened up a recording studio. They're

10:59

in the process. Road Runner, Florist. They

11:02

got that building right around when we got our studio.

11:06

So, you're gonna learn how to

11:08

build websites. No one even goes to websites anymore.

11:11

They go to fucking social media. I'll just do

11:13

other people's websites. That's what I'm

11:15

saying. Nobody has it. I have one. I

11:18

don't know if Chaeli will give up the passcode now.

11:22

Well, now it's Squarespace and stuff.

11:24

It's more like data entry and

11:26

updating information on larger websites, medical

11:28

websites, or government websites. Oh,

11:30

even more exciting than mine. It's really

11:32

thrilling. Basically, I know it's

11:34

really thrilling stuff, but I've been in several

11:37

bands, and I've always had one person in

11:39

the band who does some online

11:42

web development, or they're

11:44

a designer, but they only do work for

11:46

maybe two hours a day. And

11:49

I'm always like, what the fuck am I doing

11:51

being a bartender, going to work every night, dealing

11:53

with assholes who do nothing all day, and

11:57

then come in here and demand the world for me. That's

11:59

me. What's my favorite? drink to make. It was just

12:01

the water. Nobody

12:04

gives a shit, I don't give a shit

12:06

about making cocktails really and seeing the looks,

12:08

seeing them light up with joy as they

12:10

take the first sip. I don't give a

12:13

shit. I want

12:15

them to give me a really good tip

12:17

and then leave early so

12:19

I can go home early and smoke weed

12:21

and watch a dumb documentary until I fall

12:24

asleep. Well you just killed all your fucking

12:26

bartending opportunity. This is what I'm saying. Here's

12:30

the thing. A really good bartender

12:32

can, will, and should make a

12:34

lot of money just not here.

12:37

That's your serving people who

12:39

are drinking based on how close to the

12:41

first of the month it is. What are

12:44

you having tonight? Hang on, where's my

12:46

calendar? Okay, it's the

12:48

27th of the month. What

12:50

do you have in like a natural

12:53

light? Yeah, that's

12:55

right here. Another one of my favorite

12:57

ones to make. I

13:00

just hand over to you. You can even

13:02

open it yourself if you want. Both. But

13:05

I don't like really working with people

13:07

that I don't like, that aren't like my

13:09

people, that are yuppies. Like I was doing

13:11

that in Wisconsin bartending. Yeah, I don't know

13:13

where you get the idea that this was

13:15

a yuppie town from my podcast.

13:18

I don't want to be a

13:20

bartender period though. Yeah, I

13:22

didn't get that this was a yuppie town. I never

13:24

perceived it as such. All right. Yeah,

13:26

there's not rich people here. It's done. Yeah.

13:30

But as far as building

13:32

websites, I'm just trying to think of something that

13:34

would be even less

13:37

like

13:41

waxing cats. Less in demand. Poor

13:43

choice, more poor choice. Yeah. Well,

13:51

luckily the program I'm doing has a job guarantee. So if

13:53

I don't get a job at the end of the program

13:55

within a year, they give me 100% 10% of the money

13:57

that I spent. on

14:00

the program back. Wait, 100% or 10%? Oh,

14:04

110%. I get a little bit,

14:06

I get paid a little bit. Have you checked

14:08

the reviews of this company? Yeah. I have, I

14:10

have. Of course I have, because I don't really have

14:13

money to spend on it either. But. All

14:15

right, and how much is the course? It could

14:17

be up to 25,000, but mine's 10,000. All

14:20

right. So. So you just, do

14:23

you wanna be, here's your choices when

14:25

you sign up. You wanna be kinda all

14:27

right? Yeah. Pretty

14:29

good. Hey, better than that

14:31

last guy. I

14:34

got, I got a, I got grants that

14:36

made it cheaper. Oh, nice. It would have been 25,000

14:39

like. Why don't you

14:41

get a fucking job writing grants? That's a

14:43

huge industry. I hate writing too. Okay.

14:46

I'm a songwriter and I hate writing

14:48

a lyric. Well, you've heard my bit

14:50

about that. How fucking lazy songwriters are.

14:52

Yeah. Just repeat the same

14:54

fucking chorus over and over and three

14:56

fucking verses. And

14:58

that's, then you can be Cindy Lauper and

15:01

fucking 40 years later, after your one

15:03

fucking hit, you can be on reality

15:06

shows. Well, it's cause

15:08

you do all the backbreaking work as a musician,

15:10

touring. You gotta drag your shit around

15:12

everywhere. There's no such thing as a roadie, unless you're

15:14

like U2 or some big band. So

15:17

you're dragging around big amps. You're hoping the drummer,

15:20

if you're a good person, you're

15:22

a comedian. What do you take? You

15:25

close. Yeah, you're shit. It's

15:28

a trade off. Something

15:30

to knock you out. I,

15:33

uh. Oh, speaking of, I'm fucking out of

15:35

a drink. I'm

15:38

gonna go make myself a drink. You go, just start.

15:41

This is the good cop, bad cop. You want

15:43

me to make you drink? Yeah. I'd love to.

15:45

Listen, I don't really trust you, but I'm gonna

15:48

go make myself a drink and think about it.

15:50

You want me to make you drink? Yeah, I'm right.

15:52

No, you play the soft hand to go. Who's the

15:54

soft hand? What am I supposed to have?

15:56

How much you're doing fields from employment? You

15:59

want me to make it? I don't care you dick.

16:02

I need to see him up. So

16:04

we're supposed to talk? Please sit

16:06

in your place. Please sit here, Alex. I need you.

16:10

We need her. Are

16:12

you on camera now? Ask a

16:14

question. I'm going to

16:16

be here. I probably should be disappearing all the time. I'm a little more

16:18

professional. Yeah, somebody

16:20

should be. But wait, to the

16:22

point, just for the background's sake. He put out a call for

16:24

whatever it was, a new email that said, hey, I can kind

16:26

of hang art and do things. He put out just a general

16:28

message that he was looking for people to help

16:30

with stuff on the podcast. Which

16:34

I was just like,

16:36

I was literally in

16:38

B.C. and I walked up to the

16:41

fake, confidential divide. And

16:44

I was just listening to the podcast and I was like, shit, I should

16:46

just message him when I get back because I don't actually have the job

16:48

and I'm not making any money. And I've

16:50

done two petsits for people here now who didn't pay

16:52

me anything. No! I've

16:57

had a couple of jobs where I'm like, oh, I'll get like a couple hundred

16:59

bucks out of this. I'm watching their house

17:01

for like a whole week and their

17:03

animals and this one cow was giving shots to

17:05

and stuff. And then I didn't get paid. Wait,

17:08

did you just say you were giving shots to a

17:10

cow? A cat. I

17:14

heard a cow and I was getting a cow. Did you

17:16

hear a cow? But I was worried he was going

17:18

to be talking about the homeowner so I let it go. I did hear a cow. I

17:22

had a couple of hundred bucks out of this. I'm

17:24

watching the house for like a whole week and their animals

17:26

and this one cow is giving shots to and stuff. Maybe

17:30

we should just move on. No, there

17:32

was no cows in the room. You

17:34

are cow, too. So

17:37

yeah, I was listening to that. I thought

17:39

I was very broke. And

17:42

I was like, well, I can't hurt. Alright, let's

17:44

play a commercial. I've got

17:46

to throw my shit in the

17:48

dryer. Draft Kings, look at verse super offer for

17:50

Super Bowl 58 Draft Kings

17:52

Sportsbook as you covered. New customers can

17:55

bet on the big game and turn

17:57

five bucks into two hundred instantly in

17:59

bonus. bets. The Super Bowl is

18:01

already exciting if you like one of

18:03

those teams and if you don't, well

18:06

maybe you have to bet on it

18:08

to make it fun. Download the DraftKings

18:10

Sportsbook app now and use code STANHOPE.

18:12

New customers can bet $5 to get

18:15

$200 instantly in bonus

18:17

bets. Only on DraftKings Sportsbook, an

18:19

official sports betting partner of Super

18:22

Bowl 58 with code

18:24

STANHOPE. The crown is

18:26

yours. Gambling problem? Call

18:28

1-800-GAMBLER or in West

18:30

Virginia visit www.1800GAMBLER.NET. In New

18:32

York call 8778-HOPE-NY or text

18:35

HOPE-NY 467369. In Connecticut help

18:37

is available for problem gambling

18:39

call 8887897777 or

18:43

visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly on behalf

18:45

of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in

18:48

Kansas. 21 plus age varies by

18:50

jurisdiction. Wooden Ontario bonus bets expire 168 hours

18:52

after issue. Let's see

18:55

dkng.com/football for eligibility and deposit

18:58

restrictions terms and responsible gaming

19:00

resources. DraftKings the crown is

19:02

yours. You're

19:07

listening to the Doug Stanhope podcast.

19:19

All right we're back. Uh I

19:21

actually live like all over the place right now

19:23

I don't have a home. Okay. My

19:25

girlfriend is going to school she's that's her last

19:27

year of grad school girlfriend. Really?

19:30

Is this your uh yeah we bought that for me sorry.

19:33

Once we get the house here then we're

19:35

gonna move her basically married. Okay. We're well

19:37

committed. Okay. Give me the rookie girlfriend. She'll

19:41

appreciate you clarifying it. Looking

19:45

anybody in trouble? Do you think

19:49

we needed a seat seller like

19:51

the fucking Academy Award? I asked

19:53

them to. I asked Alex. But

19:55

uh my girlfriend's in Wisconsin and her

19:58

cat just died so. I've

20:00

been back there and I

20:02

was there for the last year, but

20:04

I kinda hated it there and she's

20:06

in grad school. So like our social

20:08

circle is art school people in grad

20:10

school. I

20:12

went to art school too, but I hate art

20:14

school people. I consider

20:17

myself to be pretty liberal and open-minded,

20:19

but the arguments that they

20:21

have are taxing. Yeah,

20:24

I was protested by the university of, Wisconsin

20:30

there. You know what? The

20:32

fuck? I believe that. During the show?

20:34

The man show, remember? Yeah. When

20:37

I was doing the man show. All the

20:39

way back then? Yeah, and they said, you're

20:41

gonna have protesters tonight. And I laughed like,

20:44

they're just being, and then

20:47

when we got there early, they go, yeah,

20:49

they're starting to, I'm like,

20:51

you're serious? They're gonna protest me? Yeah,

20:53

the man show. I hadn't aired

20:55

yet, but they knew that I was the

20:57

new host of the man show, and there's

20:59

like a dozen of them. The man show

21:01

is sexist to both

21:04

genders, and

21:07

Doug Stanhope is a dope dude. That's

21:09

cool, finally. So I went out and

21:11

I go, do you want to take

21:13

some pictures? And they're like, no. And

21:15

then I'm taking pictures with them, and

21:18

I realized they have no idea who I

21:20

am, because they don't know

21:22

what I look like. I

21:24

just think I'm a guy that's taking pictures,

21:26

because they're protesting, and they have no idea

21:28

who they're protesting. Oh, that's great. So yeah,

21:31

we hung out. Yeah. So,

21:35

she's in the school, and she kind of

21:38

has to put up with these people, but

21:40

if I have more than three drinks, and

21:42

I'm around these people, it immediately, she

21:45

got mad at me, because I was

21:47

quoting Doug Stanhope about being on an

21:50

airplane and saying that you're gay,

21:52

just to me. Oh yeah. Yeah.

21:56

And it's what are you gonna do, like, make me suck your dick,

21:58

just to see if I'm lying. I say that I love it. I

22:01

can't believe you're saying this in front of

22:04

these people. It's a joke that's supportive of

22:06

them. It's like they're not going to get

22:08

that. Oh yeah,

22:10

not without you explaining it to him, lady.

22:12

Yeah. Gay people don't get jokes. Well,

22:15

my best friend is gay,

22:17

ironically, but he's hilariously gay.

22:20

Gay you would never know he was gay unless

22:22

he told you and you were standing next to

22:24

him and his husband. Other

22:26

than that, he's just a fucking hilarious

22:29

dude who will call you worse names and you

22:31

will be able to call him. I

22:34

believe I said that in that bit

22:36

that you're quoting is why can't you

22:38

be exactly just normal fucking guy, Todd

22:40

Glass, gay. And then

22:42

I mentioned to other people, but he's the one that

22:44

you go. Yeah, no one would ever think Todd Glass

22:46

was gay because he's not a guy that

22:48

would if he was if he was slamming

22:51

pussy, he wouldn't be talking about the

22:53

right. It's gross. It's

22:56

gross either way. Agreed. But

22:59

yeah, the amount of tiptoeing

23:02

around people who I could give a shit about.

23:04

And yeah, it's like I'm 37 years old. So

23:07

somebody who's 25 being

23:10

delicate about stuff. I'm like, people have called

23:12

me a fag my whole

23:14

life and it never bothered me. And

23:16

if it did, I just act

23:18

like I wanted to make out with them. I

23:20

just be like, oh, honey, how'd you know?

23:24

Fuck with them back. So I

23:26

don't get the vulnerability thing. It's

23:28

all right. You have to be

23:30

resilient and talk shit back. I

23:33

really don't know how the real world works

23:35

anymore, because when I was a young comic

23:37

in fact, you know, living

23:39

out of my car and, you know,

23:41

frequenting Flying J truck stops and yeah,

23:44

you're surrounded by that element of life.

23:46

And the bars you'd play. Well, I

23:48

ain't a comedy club. That's a fucking

23:50

CD dive ass bar up until you

23:52

go on. It's, you know, seven 30

23:55

till nine 30 and at

23:57

best, and then they're not your friends. They're an

23:59

audience that. has no idea who the fuck

24:01

you are. So that's

24:03

when you go, okay, the world is scary. And

24:05

then you think it must have

24:07

changed. No, you started making more money and

24:09

you put up a big fence and you

24:11

don't talk to anyone anymore. It's probably those

24:14

same douchebags are still clogging

24:16

up pilots and love stations

24:18

all over. I'm sure,

24:21

yeah, they didn't go anywhere. No, they didn't

24:23

get a whole new crop of them now.

24:25

It just came up. And

24:27

they're excited to have their opportunity. That's when

24:29

you go, maybe it's not a bad thing.

24:31

Everyone's just staring at their phones now. Everyone's

24:35

done, we used to do things. Yeah, but they

24:37

weren't always fun. Maybe if assholes

24:39

are just staring at their phones, you

24:41

go, no, unlike Downvote

24:44

on Reddit. Upvote

24:47

a racist thing. Okay, good.

24:50

Or just comment on YouTube, that's

24:52

racist. Don't elaborate anymore

24:55

on it. Just

24:57

be bothered, making sure that the whole world knows

25:00

how bothered you were by something you chose to

25:02

watch. Let's get back

25:04

to the interview. I

25:07

feel like I'm nailing it. You're

25:10

great. You're definitely of the under

25:12

promise, over deliver. Good. When

25:16

it comes to non-disclosure agreements,

25:20

how closely do you look at the wording? If

25:24

I have to sign one, I'm already offended, first of all. All

25:27

right, you don't trust me, clearly. How

25:30

do you feel about playing a

25:32

blindfold, sign the document? Kind

25:36

of like a pinata game. Because as

25:38

long as it doesn't turn into blindfold, who's giving

25:40

you the hand job? I

25:42

think we've played that maybe. Not

25:45

recently. Oh, we did.

25:48

Oh, no, we did. No, me,

25:50

Fechter, that was the fucking story. I

25:53

did, I told them that special where she was trying

25:55

to out me. Oh, I know

25:57

this. Woke

26:00

her up to witness a

26:02

fucking blind of goat cheese,

26:04

goat cheese, Dawn dish soap,

26:07

and a micropenis guy named

26:09

Fester. He doesn't make it. I'm

26:12

not advocating. He's not a friend. Cheese.

26:14

It was there. Are

26:17

they awake? You know what? It made the bed.

26:22

Goat cheese. It was available. It

26:26

was a friend. We got it blindfolded and we're

26:28

playing Guess Who's giving you a hand job? And

26:32

it was me or Ben Scott or

26:34

the horror waitress. The

26:39

guy had a micropenis? Yeah. Oh,

26:41

yeah. Oh, man.

26:43

It was sturdy. It was a sturdy

26:45

little bling. I'll

26:48

blindly sign that document just as much as

26:50

I'll completely act like I never

26:52

got the court summons for it. Failing

26:55

to abide by it. What

26:57

is your drink of choice? IPAs

27:00

or gin cocktails? Wait, we

27:02

got gin. We got

27:04

gin like gin. Gin and it? Gin

27:07

and it? Gin and it? Just

27:10

now it's going to be stuck in my head. Go

27:12

ahead. I don't know.

27:14

What's in a gin and it? It's

27:16

gin and sweeper mousse and bitters.

27:19

They're having a lot of question marks at

27:21

the end of this for a former bartender.

27:23

Maybe that's why a bartender can't get a

27:25

can out. At one

27:27

point, there were thousands of cocktails in there.

27:29

Now I don't care enough to have them

27:32

in there. It's more somebody else makes them.

27:34

Do you have any DUIs? Two.

27:36

Fuck. All right. There's a big no-no

27:38

around here. Yeah. Well, I don't do

27:40

it anymore. One

27:43

was when I was 17 and

27:45

the other one I was exactly at the legal limit.

27:47

So if I could have afforded a lawyer, I probably

27:49

could have gotten rid of it. Yeah,

27:52

those are the bad beats. Yeah. Yeah,

27:55

I get audited for taxes. I

27:57

never paid my taxes and are filed for them till

27:59

I've 33 and they sent me a letter

28:01

going hey Yeah,

28:04

I never knew what a piece of shit And

28:06

I but I would have I would have gotten

28:09

money back if I'd kept

28:11

my receipts and those when I was living

28:13

out Of my car. Yeah, I made whatever

28:17

$14,000 that year I should have

28:19

filed legally, but I spent more than $14,000

28:22

to make it. I'm just not good with

28:25

fucking math and paperwork Yeah, when I'm living

28:27

out of a car, you know, there's not

28:29

a file cabinet anywhere I

28:32

like how willing they are to go after

28:34

people with no money I like it. I

28:36

would love to pay this debt to you.

28:38

Fortunately, I don't have any money to So

28:41

you see the the futility of

28:43

you going through all this paperwork to write

28:45

me a bill that I can't pay What

28:48

was the last job you had and what was

28:50

your reason for leaving? I Was

28:53

a bartender and I worked at a record shop at

28:55

the same time. Yeah, that's in moved

28:58

here if If

29:01

we were to call your former employer and

29:03

say that we

29:05

need a reference that you're

29:07

applying for work I'll

29:09

grab my happy kids. Yeah,

29:12

let's do that right now. Okay, Mike Any

29:15

one of the phones any one of the many

29:17

phones? Oh Awesome It's

29:19

called a record star like this kid. Yeah,

29:22

go for it. He's in he's being he's being

29:26

Wary on chalice behalf. He's a

29:29

stand in Chile gone. We'll see

29:37

Do you know the number yeah off the

29:39

top of my head now, but the record source

29:41

called Mad City music They'd

29:44

be open at 5 30 No,

29:47

they wouldn't be all right. Well, where'd you

29:49

bargain convenient? Midmark

29:53

in Madison Give

30:00

him a jangle. You're

30:02

gonna get the hostess. Yeah,

30:07

I'll give him a jangle. All right, who's

30:10

the manager on, I'll just ask for the

30:12

manager on duty. You could ask for Belle,

30:15

I believe, would be the one. Here we go. One

30:17

of the members. Yeah, five. Belle, Belle.

30:26

Good evening, this is Midmark. Hi, Midmark,

30:28

is that your name? Oh, that's the name

30:30

of the business. I need the manager on

30:33

duty or Belle if she's available. She

30:36

is not here. Can I take a message? Whatever

30:39

manager's on duty, I just have to

30:41

quickly, I'm trying

30:43

to push through an applicant that's

30:45

applying for a job with my

30:47

corporation, Shake the Baby, and he's

30:49

a former employee there, and I

30:51

just need someone to say that

30:53

Delaney Flanagan is not anyone that's

30:55

gonna steal, lie, or cheat

30:58

our corporation. Well,

31:02

I'm a manager, and what's

31:05

the name, Delaney? Delaney, he's a gentleman. I

31:07

know, I thought it was abroad when he

31:09

applied because he did it online, but it's

31:12

a gentleman named Delaney Flanagan, which

31:14

is a very funny last name.

31:18

Yes, he's not going to do anything bad

31:20

to children. Oh, to

31:22

children? Who brought up children? Why

31:25

is everything boiled down to Epstein Island

31:27

with you kids and your conspiracy theories?

31:32

He was a good employee. Do you miss him?

31:36

Yeah. All right, well,

31:39

I'll tell him that Delaney

31:42

Flanagan, did you

31:44

have anything to say? Because I want to

31:46

tell you, because of this lady answering the

31:48

phone, you got the job. Thank

31:51

you. You're welcome.

31:54

Thank you for vouching for Delaney, but it'll come back to

31:56

haunt you if you're wrong. Thank

31:58

you. That was funny.

32:02

He definitely won't do anything to children. What

32:04

was that? I didn't mention

32:06

children. You said shake a baby. Oh! Shake

32:10

a baby is the corporation name. I know,

32:12

but that's why she said that. And that

32:14

makes all the sense. That was

32:16

your girlfriend we just spoke to? No,

32:18

I wish. That was

32:20

you. I think that was

32:22

Jennifer. I don't know. She said

32:25

I'm one of the managers. Like, everyone's made a manager. And

32:28

then you go into assistant dubious

32:30

manager. It is one

32:32

of those. Time and

32:34

a half manager. She seemed

32:36

nice. She's

32:38

pyramid scheme. Alex, you got a tobacco in there?

32:42

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you. I know.

32:44

I'm parking. I really want a cigarette today. I don't

32:46

know why, but I really want a cigarette. That's okay.

32:48

We'll be fine. We're

32:50

going to be fine. We're going

32:53

to be fine. We're going to be fine. Before

33:24

he existed is when I made all my

33:26

mistakes. They probably would have ended up on

33:28

there. He had 50 scorpions. Yeah,

33:32

those are the ones on Taj.0. The

33:35

skateboard wipeouts where you go, oh, there's going

33:38

to be a compound fracture. I

33:40

can't watch that. You

33:42

eating diarrhea? I

33:44

watched that while I was eating diarrhea.

33:47

You're not a basic. I

33:52

used to smoke cigarettes. I quit

33:54

those. Fuck yeah. We're

33:58

not slave. We're not fucking slaves. You

34:00

can do it. Yeah, why not we believe

34:02

in now. No he can't he's a fucking

34:04

coward weekly strong people like us Can we

34:06

just better alpha males right? Oh, that's yeah.

34:08

Oh my god. I've often been described as

34:10

an alpha. Yeah When

34:16

that's one of the things listening to that guy

34:18

on fucking Fox News Jesse

34:20

Waters, yeah, Jesse waters We watched him on

34:22

a different show and oh that guy's definitely

34:24

a beta male and then on the beginning

34:27

of this show and now They're

34:29

now familiar like it's so tiring

34:31

because that a whole fucking that

34:33

a whole rogue Rogan trickle-down effect

34:35

of fucking somehow MMA is influencing

34:37

comedy and you just hear Huckle'd

34:40

cock and beta Alpha

34:43

and you know, uh, you

34:45

guys are all fucking still picking sides

34:47

in a fucking presidential election so if

34:49

you're looking for a leader you're fucking

34:51

just Naturally a beta male

34:54

if you go, you know, I think

34:56

Trump or or fucking Biden. Well,

34:58

that's That makes you if

35:00

you're a voter you're a beta Anybody

35:07

that desperate to categorize themselves

35:09

or others in fucking Greek

35:13

or whatever Vervish is

35:15

just a deeply Deeply,

35:17

you know, yeah uncomfortable in

35:22

Individual. Yeah, I don't know. I don't

35:24

know which which Greek letter designates were

35:27

all equal But once they what's what's

35:29

anyone could get a gun? Kind

35:31

of fucking level playing field not really

35:33

good fucking dog eat cat world anymore

35:36

Yeah, enjoy your heart attack by the

35:38

way on your carnivore diet Have

35:42

fun with that. Yeah, I

35:44

can't I can't argue that who

35:46

knows Yeah

35:51

So you're in security, sir. No. Oh, no. No,

35:53

like as far as diets go you think alright

35:56

Something's gonna okay. This is good for you

35:58

now and fucking the Asia Hey,

36:01

how's it going? Good. You're

36:04

on the phone. You have

36:07

to get used to that if you're looking to move

36:09

to Busby. How are you feeling about that? I'm cool

36:11

with that. You

36:13

said moved here. Are you staying around here close by? I'm

36:16

just back and forth now. Just

36:19

because I'm just online right now. In the house

36:21

that we're getting, we have

36:23

like a $25,000 down payment, but they're still

36:25

living in it until May or June. Here?

36:28

In Busby. Yeah, in Old Busby. So you already put

36:30

a down payment down? Yeah, put

36:32

the down payment on it. Well, when is it?

36:35

Well, they let you sleep on the couch tonight, so you don't

36:37

have to drive all the way to fucking Busby. Probably. I was

36:40

thinking of texting them. Because he stole your fucking guest house. He

36:43

was here before me. Yeah, and he always will be.

36:45

My toilet is in my front yard. What?

36:47

My toilet is in my front yard. You're

36:50

offering a place for a day? Hahahaha! Whoo-hoo!

36:56

It was unexpected. I

36:58

can be in the sink though. Hahahaha!

37:02

Uh, they took all my pipes away. Oh no.

37:05

But this isn't about me. It's

37:07

about you. It's always about you. Delaney

37:09

and Flanagan. Yeah,

37:12

what's your girlfriend's name, Ralph? You

37:14

have the girl's name. That's

37:17

not even Andy Anderson's daughter. Yeah,

37:19

I am Delaney. I go,

37:21

my friend- You have a girl's name. You

37:24

have a girl's name. This sounds

37:26

awful like the Fox News bullying. My

37:30

friend Andy's kid is named Delaney too. She's

37:33

adorable. I'm

37:36

adorable too. That was when he walked through the

37:38

door. And then I just in case- I

37:40

go, that's me saying, ha ha, you have

37:43

a girl's name. In case he missed it.

37:46

Well, yeah, you said that was the first thing you said on

37:48

the phone when I called you to say I was on my

37:50

way. We were just making fun of your name because you have

37:52

a girl's name. I was like, all right, well, I'm glad you

37:54

like my name. I'll be there. Oh, yeah, that's right. I

37:57

was sitting there. I was at the counter. Oh, yeah. So

38:00

I got Dennis Rader the BTK killer next

38:02

to me. You're pickin' on me. You're the

38:04

first person who's... Really?

38:06

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Who's ever... Different

38:10

spelling, but still you're the first person. Yeah, I

38:12

think I watched the documentary and brought it up.

38:15

I remember. Yeah. Seems...

38:18

Was I... was I... was I... First

38:21

memorable. First memorable.

38:24

Maybe I did. Hang on, you know what

38:26

that reminds me of? This commercial break. And

38:31

we're back. Right, so what

38:33

are your intentions with my daughter? You

38:35

don't have a daughter. You know, I mean, what... Once

38:38

you hang up some art, which is not gonna happen

38:40

a day, so you got a second day's work, especially

38:43

if you can fucking stay over

38:45

there somewhere with these people. What

38:48

are their names? Uh, Kelly and

38:50

Kaylee. Guess which one's the

38:52

guy? Oh, wait,

38:54

there's one of them's the guy? Heterosexual

38:58

couple in this town? Got sick

39:00

coming. Call page six. But the

39:02

observatory's only four pages. Yeah,

39:07

but yeah, we'll get you fucking hanging up.

39:09

You came in at a very strange time,

39:11

because I had to do this thing that

39:13

we're starting, and... The... Proxycologist.

39:23

It was entertaining, though. Yeah, it was good entertaining. It

39:25

was good that you came in when I... It was

39:27

a good thing. Like, alright, just hang out, because I

39:30

have to fucking make notes here. Yeah. I have to

39:32

figure out what I'm doing. That

39:34

was more entertaining than you just

39:37

disappearing the second I got here for

39:39

like two hours. Alright, I'm

39:41

just up here hanging art, I guess.

39:44

Up in the middle. Yeah,

39:46

we got a lot of art in

39:48

different places that we need

39:50

hung in. We got a cork board. Yeah,

39:53

we might... Yeah, fuck.

39:57

Yeah, we should bring him to Sierra Vista tomorrow. Are

40:01

you lost yet? What's happening?

40:04

Well we gotta go, you don't have to do

40:06

it. I have to go get all that shit. The

40:08

vapes, the whole weave, the vapes, the report board for

40:10

Niki. Is that a weed vape? No,

40:13

he's got a weed. Double weed bait? You

40:15

can talk to him. Double weed vapes? Absolutely.

40:18

Yeesh. I know. Do

40:21

you need some weed? Do you need marijuana? I'm

40:23

okay. I have edibles. Edibles

40:26

are more fun.

40:28

They're less predictable. Yeah. Yeah,

40:31

I wasn't predictable. Thank

40:35

God. I called Jim Norton last night at

40:37

almost 10 o'clock, mid-night his time. What? And

40:40

then he texted me this morning. I woke

40:42

up at like 5.30 this morning and I

40:44

get a text like 7 and he goes,

40:46

are you awake? I'd assume you'd be asleep

40:49

at this hour. And I

40:51

went, I don't really

40:53

talk to Jim Norton. Do you not remember? And

40:56

I said, I go,

40:59

I'm still in bed, but I'm awake. And

41:02

I'm like, oh fuck, I have vague

41:05

memories of like watching Jim Norton

41:07

or something last night. So it's

41:09

very high and shit-faced. Football

41:12

Sunday, you know, you try to make it last all

41:14

day. And

41:16

then he goes, can

41:18

we call? Oh,

41:20

we. And I like, oh,

41:22

wait, I watched his

41:25

podcast. Someone posted Jim

41:28

and Sam on my. You're

41:30

doing your thing. You're talking about the fucking

41:32

Fox News thing I just did. And they're

41:34

like, yeah, he was. I don't know where

41:37

he was. It had like colored chairs and

41:39

it was like a preschool or like where

41:41

I'm high and yelling at the screen of

41:43

my laptop going, no, it was a diner.

41:45

It was an open mic. And

41:48

so I left him some kind of message and

41:50

but I remembered enough of it. So

41:52

what they called me, I knew what I

41:54

was talking about. I don't

41:57

want to talk to a man your age

41:59

and his late. 50s that's

42:01

been sober for his whole adult life. Yeah,

42:04

I have no idea why I called you Telling

42:07

is not something you should do when you

42:09

also have a ARP Yeah,

42:17

yes, yeah that'll flush out

42:19

the video Yeah,

42:23

yeah, no so find

42:25

that out so Any

42:29

uh He

42:32

says he's good with technology. So He's

42:35

gonna I'm gonna make him

42:37

sit in when he tries to teach

42:39

me how to work all this fucking

42:43

Camera yeah, I heard about that 3d 360 360

42:45

yeah Yeah,

42:50

that's the vernacular I'm not

42:53

good with Mm-hmm if

42:56

we were more portable right now and

42:58

I was more inclined Excuse

43:00

me, we would uh If

43:03

we could have planned this day without having to do that

43:05

thing I would have gone all right

43:07

be ready with the cameras when he walks in close

43:09

enough now But then we're gonna go

43:11

see how he does Safeway

43:14

a shopping cam The

43:16

car car cast put the 360 at the

43:19

end of the shopping cart And then we'd

43:21

take you to see how good you are

43:23

at tennis versus Dave Rader What

43:30

well I'd be a greater you have to at least

43:32

be able to beat Dave Rader at tennis Really

43:39

get a do-over Monday

43:42

night football versus Michael Bean you can

43:44

still do that Right

43:48

yeah, and just put them through some paces, okay

43:51

That's like a knowledge test on football No,

43:54

no, you just have to pick the right team.

43:57

Okay. Yeah, just Yeah,

43:59

go on Yeah, he's fucking

44:01

killing me that guy. Oh, have you

44:03

ever killed a 60- What? What?

44:08

No, just chill. No,

44:10

he's killing points, right? Yeah,

44:12

Michael Bean. He was just in the emergency

44:14

room. You know what happened? Is he out?

44:18

He texted me, but I haven't gotten back

44:20

to him. Yeah, he's out. Which means they

44:22

can buy. He didn't say, no,

44:25

he was in a hospital bed calling me

44:27

a pussy and a faggot for losing. So

44:29

he's alright. Yeah, he's gonna be okay. Yeah.

44:35

Well, put him there. We

44:37

don't know. Sometimes

44:39

he takes too many of his... Down

44:42

too many of his uppers or ups too many

44:44

of his downers. Hey,

44:47

can you follow us to the

44:49

urgent care because someone's got to hold

44:51

his shoes. You

44:53

did that one. Yeah,

44:56

and he called me a faggot really loud

44:58

in front of the obviously gay

45:00

attendant that was putting him into a-

45:03

He didn't know though. He really didn't

45:05

know. He had overdosed a little bit

45:07

on a prescription drug and forgot he

45:10

had already taken his pills and then

45:12

took more of his pills that were

45:14

prescribed. But yeah, then

45:17

he wasn't calling me a faggot. He

45:19

was actually calling Joe Rogan a faggot

45:21

because he had just done Rogan's podcast.

45:23

And he listened to it where it

45:25

came up that he was lived in

45:28

Bisbee. And then

45:31

he's like, I

45:33

don't know who that is. And the producer brought

45:35

his picture up and go, oh, from those movies.

45:37

And he's like, oh, yeah, I know that

45:39

guy. And anyway, and he just moved on and

45:41

Michael Bean had listened to it, hoping

45:44

that there was more Michael Bean talk. Yeah. And

45:47

he was slurring in his wheelchair. And he was

45:49

just a very important cast. And

45:51

I'm fucking- I'm fucking

45:54

faggot. I'm fucking

45:56

faggot. Um,

45:58

Michael, let it just- get you in the era.

46:02

That or didn't mean the

46:04

same thing when he was in his youth. Yeah,

46:07

I'm not thinking hopefully the guy working at the

46:09

hospital knew that. Yeah, he

46:12

was basically under hypnosis, is

46:14

what happened. But he didn't take too much in. Yeah. But

46:17

it's the way he said it with the

46:19

fag. Ah! Really

46:22

dragging that last part out is

46:24

what makes it feel like somebody's

46:26

probably actually homophobic. Well, no, no,

46:28

it's a lot of the times,

46:30

he's really a funny

46:33

guy and very caustic. But a lot

46:35

of when he first came over, he'd come over

46:37

all the time. And he'd be

46:39

just because of a lot of

46:42

stuff on my albums, stuff that

46:44

I say very

46:46

loudly in a certain timber that

46:48

might be not

46:50

conscious of someone's feelings. But

46:53

so he would do it. He's like, wait,

46:56

I can't stay pagging over here. You say,

46:58

you're spagal. What the? Yeah.

47:01

But that's in context with the

47:04

whole performance thing. Not just a bit.

47:06

That's the problem. When you do an

47:08

album that's an

47:11

hour and 10 minutes long, and at

47:13

the 11 minute mark, you say something

47:15

that anyone could take out of context, but

47:17

they don't know that you're building to, oh,

47:20

at the hour and six minutes, that's where it

47:22

all pays off. Or he goes, see, you laughed

47:24

at the beginning, but now you're back to bed.

47:27

And you're the bad person. No one listens to

47:29

a fucking, that's my

47:31

only beef with Joe Rogan. How do

47:34

you get people to listen to three hours? How

47:37

do you talk for three hours? Well,

47:39

and Joe Rogan's not

47:42

that funny. Well, that's not,

47:45

it's not about the comedy there. It's

47:48

just stream of consciousness about

47:50

shit that he's interested in. Half the time it's about

47:52

IFC. I used to listen to him all the time.

47:55

And now it's all politics and

47:57

IFC and stuff. Republican

48:00

talking I don't know. It's like I just

48:02

don't care about I don't think it could

48:05

be I'd bet he hasn't changed. I don't

48:09

Because in the beginning he was always

48:11

like a good conspiracy theory guy He's

48:14

had Elon Musk on just does like a ball

48:16

washing of him every time like he doesn't ask

48:18

him hard questions I you know then somebody else

48:21

would come on and have a critique of a

48:23

lawn musk and a big yeah That's a good

48:25

question. It's like you just had him

48:27

on You didn't have a

48:29

list of good questions the free

48:31

speech issue on X or anything like that You didn't

48:34

bring any of that shit up. He

48:36

just walked right. Yeah, see I've never

48:38

I've never listened to his podcast I've

48:41

been I've literally walked on it walked

48:43

off of it. We're friends like not

48:46

World podcast. Oh, yeah,

48:48

that was a bad day for me Shine

48:53

still but yeah, oh yeah, I

48:55

know About that that was

48:57

I mean I wouldn't watch it again I

49:00

would never be able to sit

49:02

through it, but yeah, I was yeah I'm

49:05

glad it was taped like when you're like you're trying

49:07

to get there What I said to come out

49:09

nadier of fucking mental

49:12

like that's a bottom-out point and yeah,

49:14

I didn't miss the gig Maybe I

49:16

should have but yeah, I

49:18

think Bingo was napping at that Her

49:26

alarm was going off, but she wasn't hitting the

49:28

snooze bar Clean

49:34

yeah, yeah that was 2000. I remember that was 2016. I

49:36

was packing

49:40

sculptures for The

49:43

whole podcast for that thing Yeah,

49:46

that was that was such a weird

49:48

podcast because Trump won halfway through it.

49:50

Oh You

49:53

know hang on just for the right what

49:55

I was talking about when I walked off

49:57

his podcast, okay? Yeah, was was just In

50:00

the old days where he was like, I like this

50:02

is three hours. I can't do this anymore I

50:05

have to test again. I have nothing else to

50:07

say. How can you talk to slog? No, I

50:09

just leave me Yeah, that's gonna

50:11

leave it was it was a funny.

50:13

Yeah, I didn't want to fucking leave

50:15

that word Oh, I walked off his

50:17

podcast like I'm I'm not gonna fully

50:20

yeah. No, I was just like so

50:22

drunk I'm like, how do you fucking

50:24

talk? Yeah long. I've never been interested

50:26

in the three-hour conversation I'll bring the

50:28

thing is yeah He has a

50:30

lot of genuine interest in a lot of he

50:32

does. Yeah, he really isn't I think that comes

50:34

through And so yeah, that's a jealousy like when

50:36

people say oh, you're jealous of

50:38

so-and-so cuz they have more no, I'm jealous

50:40

of Anyone who has abilities

50:43

I don't have like oh you can

50:45

dance fuck you. That's for

50:47

queers or something Or

50:50

like anything that I wish I could

50:53

do and the biggest

50:55

one is have interests Right

50:58

and I don't and I can't just write

51:00

around the corner Yeah,

51:03

but I wouldn't be I don't want to talk we

51:05

haven't drawn resolutions on each other's stomachs I

51:15

do have interest in dark things Visiting

51:18

prisons if I can just visit prisons everywhere.

51:20

I want you what we tried in Romania.

51:22

Yeah, you're a mania prison I don't know

51:24

why I have a fucking yeah,

51:27

I would definitely do that or mental

51:29

institutions like The grotesque was

51:31

not the ones where hey, we're putting a

51:33

shiny happy face on this and we'd love

51:35

to have you to our Malibu

51:37

Canyon fucking ranch that dr.

51:39

Drew plugs Old

51:45

cemeteries Where

51:47

like the graves are like falling into them

51:49

creepy shit like that In Prague

51:52

they have a bone church that my

51:54

girlfriend was in Prague last year And I thought you

51:56

want to go to that phone church so bad is

51:58

cool. Oh, we go to

52:00

a bathhouse we call the bone jerky.

52:02

Different type of bone. Not fully deflashed.

52:09

Yeah, there's some checks in there.

52:12

What is Prague, Czechoslovakia? I already got Brussels

52:15

wrong. I thought it was in France or

52:17

Germany to Belgium. Where's

52:19

Prague? Czechoslovakia. Well,

52:23

yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The

52:25

country formally knows it. Yeah.

52:27

What's the news? I wasn't

52:29

there. There you

52:36

go. See, now you get all your excuses in order.

52:38

We don't have to cover that topic. We

52:41

don't know. You didn't see. You were putting up

52:43

the Christmas lights. I wasn't there. I wasn't

52:45

there. If

52:48

anybody asks, I'll

52:50

get that tattooed on my hand. Hello. Hello.

52:52

Hello. The

52:56

puppies. You

52:58

guys getting another dog? No. No way.

53:00

Just that cat that you saw is suddenly

53:05

being adopted. That guy, like there was three

53:07

of us that waved and he not, not

53:09

a wave back. Oh, he did? He stopped

53:11

for a second. Oh, he was

53:13

just yelling at his thumb. No, he

53:16

waved. He's cool. He seemed Asian. No,

53:18

I know why. Short Mexican. I know.

53:21

I know Chinese,

53:24

Japanese, Chinese. Look at these. I know

53:26

my job. It's sunglasses.

53:29

What you're trying to hide. It's

53:31

a cloudy day. He's wearing sunglasses.

53:33

I don't have to. There's still

53:35

glare. Yeah. I guess we have

53:37

to get out of the table. With fucking the

53:39

Australian lighting over here. There's glare

53:42

at any hour. Yeah. Australian

53:45

lighting. Oh. So how are you 37 but look 15?

53:47

That's a great question. I guess

53:50

genetics or smoke cigarettes

53:53

when you're young

53:59

and then quit. near mid 30s. It's really,

54:01

you know, I was, I would

54:03

have been so far off. I'm very good at

54:05

guessing ages. Still 37. That's ridiculous. Within

54:09

two years, I'm usually about 85 to 88%. You

54:13

are good. I would have been

54:15

fucking 15 years. Yeah.

54:18

Should have had money on that one. That's

54:21

the only way you're getting paid around here.

54:23

Do you take personal, uh, co-signed out of

54:25

state, uh, second party cheques? For

54:30

novelty. Sure. Not a payment. I'll

54:33

receive them. Do you

54:35

take punk coin? What

54:38

is punk coin? Pickle, nickel. Pickle,

54:40

nickel. Sure. We can't pickle, nickel.

54:43

Yeah. Our

54:47

own dark web currencies are... We'll

54:51

give you a bunch of them and see which one's your

54:53

favorite. Okay. I

54:56

accept Donald Trump gold bars. Oh,

54:59

yeah. We've talked about that earlier. They're high value.

55:02

You just paid the shipping. They're free. They

55:04

do that on fucking... That's how you get... You

55:07

can't get shit on eBay or Amazon.

55:09

Okay, give me the lowest price. And

55:11

then they go, oh, it's one cent

55:13

and $65 shipping. And they're

55:15

like, police this, you

55:18

fucking monstrosity. I'm

55:20

giving away these military grade backpacks for free.

55:23

All you have to do is pay the

55:25

cost of shipping. The weird thing

55:27

is, when you brought this up, you said... Is

55:30

it one of those things like YouTube, where

55:32

you brought up this whole thing? You watch

55:34

commercials on YouTube? I skip them, but I

55:36

listen to them the first time if they're

55:38

funny and I want to understand them. All

55:43

right, this is just going down the path of

55:45

fucking boring drunk talk. Let's... Is

55:47

there any closing questions you have before...

55:49

Man. Alex gets back, he knows how to shut

55:51

off the camera. Yeah,

55:54

we don't have anything for you to

55:56

do specifically other than hang

55:58

up wall art. But

56:00

then if you think you can

56:02

figure out technology like 360 cameras,

56:05

I don't think he's leaving that one

56:08

behind. I think that's his own

56:10

golden boy. But then there's

56:12

the little pocket cameras that

56:14

track you around and podcasting,

56:19

recording, upskirt

56:22

stuff. You do upskirt work. You said

56:24

that on your resume. Upskirt? Upskirt photography.

56:27

I only wear it. I'm a high

56:29

school teacher who went to jail for

56:31

doing upskirts. Oh really? Well, the girls

56:33

in my high school. What?

56:35

Yeah. A couple of years

56:37

after I left, he got busted, but I imagine he was

56:39

doing it. But he was still your tutor, so you know

56:41

what you're doing. Demonstrate

56:44

it. Hey, you know what? Listen, come

56:46

here. Listen, I don't want to do

56:48

a stairwell. We're having a tough time

56:50

and busy getting upskirt photography,

56:52

you know, kicking. But that's

56:54

because we don't have escalators.

56:56

I'm going to put in

56:58

the first escalator in Bispy.

57:01

Ladies ride free, and they're going to

57:03

be right behind you wearing a dress.

57:06

Because you get the long hair, you

57:08

get everything. Yes. And

57:10

just don't ever suspect it. Yep. And those

57:12

rhinestone boots

57:15

that shimmy and shine so they don't notice

57:18

that camera lens. Right up

57:20

the pooter, honey. Punch it, turquoise.

57:22

Yep. Smile with your asshole, honey.

57:25

You're on upskirt. Why

57:27

are you on Bispy? Bispy. Bispy. I'll

57:30

create a whole new brand and put them inside

57:32

player wall. Beard. All

57:34

right. I think we have to... It's over.

57:37

Leave me alone. I was going to...

57:39

Yeah, why are you not drinking beer

57:41

on camera? Too early. All right. I

57:44

haven't shared it. It's not much fun. He's

57:46

going to call out his parents

57:49

in waiting. He'll go,

57:51

can I have a place to stay? I'm

57:53

a wayward child. I

57:56

have good feelings about this kid. We'll

57:58

meet behind your back. right in front of

58:00

your face and talk about you. Cool. Like

58:03

you weren't here and- Let me turn around. Okay.

58:06

The dog is a barfog. Epoxy.

58:09

Oh. How do you do

58:11

an epoxy? All right, well, we're gonna do

58:13

plenty of follow-up interviews with you. I'll

58:16

let Chaley train me. But if

58:19

mistakes happen, he's clearly to blame. He

58:22

seemed on the podcast that he knew exactly how

58:25

to do it. Yeah,

58:27

he just doesn't have the time. And

58:29

you have all the time and none of

58:31

the knowledge or abilities. So between

58:33

the two of you, we should get not

58:36

only nothing done, but we should break some

58:38

shit. So that's enough of that.

58:40

Big O take us out of this. Okay.

58:43

We'll let you know what happens. With

58:46

Lainey the Lainey, life

58:49

in the slow lane,

58:52

Flanagan. Go

58:54

ahead, Big O. Okay.

59:00

Bye bye now.