0:01

You're listening to the Doug Stanhope

0:03

podcast. Ladies

0:08

and gentlemen, we're

0:12

gonna start. Some

0:17

things you have to start with because you'll you'll

0:19

forget them. It's not going to be part

0:21

of the rest of the context

0:23

of the podcast.

0:26

As we drift into a set

0:29

to out. Hang on. Don't

0:32

react. No, no, no, no. I'm first of all, I'm

0:34

going to react to you in that. Why do

0:37

we have these?

0:38

I have done a million. First

0:41

of all, I'm not even supposed to be

0:43

podcasting or even speaking because

0:46

SAG AFTRA my union

0:49

that I was forced to join over 30

0:52

years ago.

0:53

Forced to join is

0:56

on strike with the writers. Did

0:58

you know the writers were still on strike?

1:00

No, because nobody watches fucking

1:03

young Sheldon or whatever the fucking suddenly

1:05

Susan gives up. Yes.

1:09

If AI can take your job, AI

1:11

deserves your job. Do you remember? I

1:13

remember doing

1:14

that bit intermittently.

1:18

We were Ohio turnpike.

1:21

We're on the road traveling and we

1:23

go through the Ohio turnpike. You

1:26

have to pay a dollar and 30 cents

1:28

or whatever to fucking drive down

1:30

the Ohio turnpike. But

1:33

if that's not an affront enough, that's

1:35

her fart ringtone. Don't worry.

1:38

Don't worry. Farts are always fun. I thought somebody was

1:40

dying in the hallway. They

1:42

might be. We're going to get to that. We're

1:44

going to get to our surroundings after.

1:47

We had to stop at

1:49

a toll booth and it's smaller

1:53

than a photo mat if you remember the

1:55

reference. And a man with a

1:57

badge collects

1:59

your dollar and. 30 cents, whatever, and

2:02

have a good day. And

2:04

I remember the bit was, not

2:07

only could you be replaced by

2:09

a machine, you should

2:12

be replaced by a machine.

2:15

Fiscally responsible government would

2:18

have you like, you'd be

2:20

out of a job, but you wouldn't have to

2:22

spend your life with a badge

2:24

to make you feel comfortable. And

2:27

you're, you are a human

2:29

fucking vending machine. You should

2:32

feel, I don't, what?

2:35

Nothing. I was experimenting

2:37

with this light. I,

2:41

I, I get something to turn that off. Okay.

2:44

Let me, I have to, I have

2:46

to plug in power source. Go ahead.

2:49

Yeah.

2:50

I'm trying to embrace the crazy

2:53

people back into my life. The

2:55

crazy fans, we had a couple of stalkers.

2:58

I had to get a restraining order

3:00

or two. But yeah,

3:03

we need to really fall back

3:05

into who's our fan base, the

3:07

crazies, the suicides,

3:10

the fucking addicts and whatnot. Just

3:12

not the meth heads, but one of

3:14

my favorite suicides. We'll

3:17

lean on that when I get my house

3:19

back, but I,

3:23

I, I still don't know if it's Lena

3:25

G or Lina L Y

3:27

N a Lena G, uh, back

3:30

in the day, uh, Shelly

3:32

hopefully will, uh, have opened this

3:35

podcast with, I like your toes.

3:37

I like your toes. My little boy.

3:39

Hopefully there's

3:42

no label that's

3:48

going to fucking

3:49

shut it down for illegal

3:51

use. Like that's

3:54

a number one hit single in the UK.

3:56

You can't use that without. Yes.

4:00

Back in the day, she wrote about her

4:02

dog. Abu

4:04

is the dog's name, by the way. And this

4:06

is many years ago.

4:09

And we played that on the podcast.

4:12

And it was shortly after Bingo

4:14

had released her album. And we were

4:17

threatening to play.

4:19

It's Lena. It's

4:23

a very silly sounding song. It's

4:26

almost like your follow

4:28

up album to I'm a Little Teapot.

4:31

Short and stout. It's that

4:33

kind of silly. And

4:37

we were threatening to put it out on

4:39

KBRP, our local Disney,

4:41

as Bingo Bingamans follow

4:44

up single to when you put

4:46

out your album and just to torture you.

4:48

And we still, to this day, Bingo

4:50

cringes. Yes. I like your

4:53

toes. My little story, little

4:55

boy. I like your toes. So

5:00

she started out. And

5:03

I've met her several times. She's

5:05

come backstage at the

5:08

big shows in London.

5:09

And she's very sweet and adorable. But

5:13

she's kind of like a couple other friends. I

5:17

think you just need to be suicidal because

5:19

you think that's the only way you garner attention

5:22

or broken or fight.

5:24

Bro, may I help you? So

5:28

she's suicidal again. Lena, I'm

5:30

talking to you because you're being fucking silly.

5:33

And no one believes you anymore. But

5:34

she's like, OK, I'm going to kill myself.

5:37

She sends me eight emails in a row. And

5:40

seven of them are apologizing for the last

5:42

one. I'm sorry

5:44

I said that. You shouldn't even read the other

5:46

ones. It says the fifth. She

5:50

says she's

5:52

going to kill herself. But

5:55

she had to write

5:57

out the care for instructions.

6:00

of her dog. When

6:06

you see the table of contents, see

6:08

attached. So at

6:11

what point

6:13

there's the first four, there's 38

6:16

pages, and

6:18

she hasn't chatted and subchatted.

6:22

Registration and records, that's just the first four,

6:24

the microchip number, the pet insurance.

6:26

Then,

6:27

second chapter, health conditions,

6:30

number five, Abu's heart

6:33

condition, early stage

6:35

mitral valve disease, number six,

6:38

Abu's tracheal collapse,

6:40

number seven, Abu's neck

6:43

condition,

6:44

chariot-like malformation,

6:48

Abu's previous eye accident,

6:51

ocular proptosis, and

6:54

the necessity of using a bungee

6:57

lead with him as a result. And

6:59

then teeth, liver care, anal gland

7:01

expression is number, okay,

7:04

at what point do you say don't kill yourself,

7:07

kill the dog? Don't

7:10

kill yourself,

7:11

kill the dog. Alina,

7:15

yes, she's a young,

7:17

adorable lady and

7:20

her family, and she

7:23

reminds us of other people

7:25

in our life that we had to go, I wish

7:28

you the best, but Derek

7:30

will pay your groceries. It

7:34

was 38 pages just for the character. This

7:38

is that much.

7:40

She's very organized. Yes,

7:42

I know. And

7:45

then that's what she

7:47

wrote in the email. Maybe if I was disorganized

7:50

in my own life, I wouldn't be to my

7:52

end of days. You're like 35 years old. Stop

7:56

it.

7:57

She was trying to leave me her flat. I

8:01

go, well, that's kind of the storyline

8:03

of when I did that Carl Toulkington show

8:06

where someone died and left me there

8:08

flat. And we were going to use that

8:10

as a, uh, anyway.

8:13

Yeah. She, she, you're adorable line

8:16

of, but as I told you, like, I got my own

8:18

shit going on. Let's get back to where

8:20

we are now. I just didn't want to leave you

8:22

out of this. He said you'd prepared for this podcast.

8:25

I do. Can you prove it? Fucking

8:27

notes. Yeah. I'm going to say

8:30

outlook. We're about ready to close. What's it? What's

8:33

the name of the,

8:34

in the shining. Yeah. Oh,

8:36

the hotel overlook. Overlook. Okay.

8:39

Yeah. We're here at the overlook.

8:42

No, no, no, no, no, no, no. The

8:44

cheerleaders. Yeah. Maybe they're

8:46

doing the fish feeding or something. Do they, I

8:48

don't know what they do during that. They sacrifice

8:51

a goat or something. I

8:53

found out

8:55

and I'm sure we've set. I found

8:58

this hotel. Hey, come to freedom

9:00

fast libertarian function. Come

9:03

to freedom vest in Memphis, Tennessee in July.

9:05

I went in July. Yeah. You know

9:08

what? Maybe I'll have wanderlust,

9:09

but probably not. But let me Google

9:11

the closest hotel to the convention

9:14

center, which is the reticent

9:16

Renaissance resonance. It's

9:19

a fucking convention center

9:22

with a name that doesn't make sense. The only one

9:24

in downtown Memphis.

9:25

One tenth of a mile, which is a block

9:28

away according to every fucking

9:30

rule I know about booking travel. One

9:33

block

9:33

is a tenth of a mile is

9:36

this giant stupid pyramid

9:38

that, you know, go

9:43

in the show notes. They'll be the virtual

9:45

tour on the in video. I

9:47

will put up a picture right here. All right.

9:50

But I'm saying that just the scope of the

9:52

virtual tour will save you that.

9:55

This is the stupidest hotel

9:58

I've ever seen. pro

10:00

shop owns the fucking sponsors

10:03

the hotel and wall burgers

10:06

is the main it's fucking dumb

10:08

as shit and this is the governor's

10:11

suite cost $1,500 a night and they

10:14

go okay I'm gonna book

10:16

this and they have a comedy

10:18

show at the libertarian convention I'm

10:21

gonna charge them what it costs for

10:23

three nights here to do that and

10:25

I'm a fly all of us out on frequent

10:27

flyer miles

10:29

in theory it's a free vacation

10:31

and the spend some I always said I just

10:34

don't want to die

10:36

ironically or with frequent

10:38

flyer miles I want to be out

10:40

of miles I don't want to

10:42

die stepping on an AIDS needle

10:45

on my way to buy condoms I don't

10:47

want to die in a stupid way that everyone laughs

10:50

unless it's funny you

10:51

know on my own terms and

10:54

I said we spent a lot

10:56

of frequent flyer miles and we've got

10:58

this dumb fucking there's more

11:01

dead animals

11:03

I like dead animals I know but uh

11:06

yeah that's one of my favorite parts is all the dead animal

11:08

this would be a way different place if all these animals

11:10

were alive in here well there's alive animals

11:13

down there tiny

11:14

alligators and giant sturgeon

11:17

seven or seven foot long that one seven

11:20

or eight you said it was eight but it turned out to be I

11:22

guessed about eight it's about the chilis that

11:24

is seven there's blue catfish giant blue catfish

11:26

alligator gar there's all kinds of shit down

11:29

in there 174 thousand gallon

11:32

open tank is what that is yeah

11:36

downstairs is a bass pro

11:38

shop what is it was the other company

11:40

that's Cabela's and bass pro combined

11:43

but bass pro 1

11:44

redneck Mecca yeah

11:47

I am amazed at how interested

11:50

Chaley and even the wives

11:53

let's go look at outdoor year

11:55

you're not

11:56

you're an out horseman

11:59

Chad is We go camping. Yeah.

12:04

Yeah. But what

12:06

is what is outdoor? Do I kill things? He kind

12:08

of lives out. Yeah. Well, there's

12:11

there's very degrees of out. And there is

12:13

more of an outdoorsman than you. I ask

12:15

because he sleeps in his car at rest

12:17

stops.

12:18

No, he's I ask.

12:21

I think I've been trying to reach out to

12:23

people and I know. Hey, what's your

12:25

summer plants? Because we're

12:28

thinking about going up North Road Tripping. Yeah. For

12:31

the August. And I go, what's your you

12:33

have any summer plans? He goes, just this glamp

12:37

and it's him with like a pup

12:39

tent dome tent on a patio. That's

12:41

probably his house. It is. Yeah.

12:44

Just this. And I go,

12:46

are you? And I and then

12:48

I just trailed off with the

12:50

text. Like I didn't know if he then

12:52

he's homeless. I don't

12:55

know.

12:56

He's probably airing out his tent. No,

12:59

there was lots of shit around it like

13:01

there's laundry and stuff. It

13:03

was it was in use.

13:05

Maybe he moved to the streets

13:08

of Portland. You know, when you see homeless

13:11

people live here or homeless people

13:13

used to live

13:14

here, he he lives there. It

13:17

was current. So

13:21

I don't know. I worry. I worry

13:23

about folks. This

13:26

place was funny at

13:29

first. And now

13:32

it's feeling like a movie set of who who's

13:36

going to kill who first? Oh, clue.

13:40

I was thinking more like Saw

13:43

or what's the one I care. Perot

13:47

was it

13:48

Agatha Christie? Perot.

13:51

Perot. I don't know how to say it. I think

13:53

it's a whodunit. Who done it? Who done it? Murder

13:56

on the Orient Express. When you write a fucking memoir it's going to be

13:58

called I Don't Know How to Say It.

13:59

That's awesome. That's everything.

14:02

Oh Yeah, let's cut

14:05

to the first night here in this

14:08

Before that what did you expect? When

14:11

you rented a place that was that

14:14

looked like this online You

14:16

know what an impulse buy is? I

14:20

saw the virtual tour

14:23

online of big Cyprus

14:25

Lodge I'm like

14:27

it's a pyramid like the Luxor

14:29

Hotel in Las Vegas But

14:31

if Ted Nugent bought it

14:33

and did the interior design

14:36

and put as many dead animals Everywhere.

14:39

I

14:39

thought this was gonna be like

14:42

every we're on the third floor And I'm like,

14:44

oh, I guess the big suite that we're in

14:46

the governor's suite

14:48

the governor that should be impeached That's

14:52

only on the third floor. So there

14:54

must be No,

14:56

the third floor is the top floor. Well

14:59

but at I Counted 22

15:03

floors. They say it's the largest

15:06

tallest freestanding elevator

15:09

They sell tickets stay with

15:11

me. They sell fucking tickets

15:14

to the largest tallest

15:16

freestanding elevator

15:19

Which is as far as I can count 22

15:21

floors. That's not the tallest elevator 28

15:25

Okay, whatever it is. I counted the

15:27

blocks and

15:29

28 is not Serious

15:32

Howard Stern is on the 33rd floor

15:34

of not even the close to the tallest fucking

15:37

but that's where they say Freestanding

15:40

means oh, there's no floors in between

15:43

the bottom and the top I guess I don't think

15:45

it's that there's really no structure that

15:47

is surrounding that touches the

15:50

elevator It's attached the top and at the bottom.

15:52

Yeah But it's not like

15:55

with a glass front it's

15:57

not even the tallest it's nowhere and

15:59

there but But they're selling tickets to these fucking

16:02

Rubicons down

16:04

here. But

16:06

Jenny was talking about, geez,

16:09

Wallburgers is the breakfast

16:11

down, or the restaurant downstairs,

16:13

the one that serves breakfast till 11.

16:16

If you ask anyone from

16:19

the, here, chuck me that, Jenny. Yeah,

16:21

just hand me that. Yes,

16:23

boink. Yeah.

16:25

Breakfast till 11

16:28

on the website. Breakfast till 11. You

16:30

go down there at 10.55, they go, we

16:32

don't serve breakfast after 10.30.

16:35

No, it says everywhere. Well,

16:38

yeah, that's in room Donny. No, no, it says

16:41

you. No. Fuck.

16:43

That's the biggest thing that I was surprised because

16:45

this is really fancy shit. Like

16:48

fancy. Well, Stan off, Stan off, what's it cost? It's

16:50

fucking fancy.

16:51

They don't treat you fancy. Fancy.

16:54

Oh, no. It's, well, I mean, not at

16:56

Wallburg, but not even here. Like when Stan

16:59

tried to open his smuggled

17:01

canned goods, which

17:03

is a whole other story. Well, because

17:06

I looked and I have lived out

17:08

of hotels where I now I know, okay,

17:11

I need a full kitchen if I'm going to live out of a

17:13

hotel room. Oh, this I

17:15

see online for burner

17:17

stove

17:18

twice as much as I'm used to in my

17:20

fucking home living. Yeah.

17:24

Oh, but no can opener. I

17:26

mean, dog shit.

17:28

And you call down a well,

17:30

we don't have can openers, but

17:33

room service will take you back to the kitchen.

17:35

We have one of the industrial ones. I

17:38

had to send a small can of tomato

17:40

sauce to make jambalaya

17:42

and they had to put it in one of these giant things.

17:44

You're done. And

17:47

then walking fucking three floors up

17:49

four ounces of tomato. Everything

17:53

is fucked from the when

17:55

we showed up. Hey, we scheduled

17:57

a shuttle that took me two days. and

18:00

then we got here, we

18:02

don't know nothing about no shuttle. Okay,

18:06

we'll get two Uber

18:10

rides and you're going to reimburse

18:12

that and then like okay, yeah,

18:15

just send us the receipt to wear the front

18:17

desk. I'm like you

18:20

can't just, is there an address?

18:22

Everything's been... Well, but

18:24

remember you couldn't get a hold of the manager forever.

18:28

The manager was busy, they couldn't

18:30

get the hold of the manager. Miss me, whatever.

18:33

Yeah, I love that. I love the

18:35

south one

18:41

they call everyone. Yeah, Miss

18:43

Daisy, Miss me, Miss so and

18:45

so. And so, on

18:48

the third floor here, the VIP

18:50

bar, they

18:53

had a... and Bingo was

18:56

saying, I'm ready for bow and arrowing. You

18:58

say archery, you should say bow and arrowing and

19:01

they just happen to have on Thursday

19:04

night, Wednesday night when we checked in bow

19:06

and arrowing, but it's a blow up thing,

19:09

like a goofy... It's like it's the way you do

19:11

it, like a kid's birthday party, like no arrows,

19:13

they had like big like balls, like racquetballs

19:16

on the end. And they have

19:19

like an air...

19:21

Yeah, the ball that you're aiming at

19:24

is a loft by a column, like

19:26

a vacuum in

19:29

reverse. It's blowing it up. Inflatable.

19:32

Yeah. No, no, it's not that low.

19:34

It's a blowing air. No, the

19:36

target is a ball, a light ball that's

19:39

being held a lot. Oh, I got what

19:41

you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah,

19:43

what do you call the thing

19:45

that the shower head should fit

19:48

in but doesn't that smash my

19:50

fucking head open

19:52

and let the big gash in my fucking

19:54

bald spot? I go, there's

19:56

a collar that's supposed to fit. As I'm going, oh, am I

19:58

bleeding? I thought, Shelly

20:01

would know the word for this when I fucking

20:03

give them a one-star review and sue

20:05

them. But I don't know. It's

20:08

missing a collar that makes it fit into the sleeve. I

20:12

would have said colander. That's

20:15

right too. That's the other thing that's not in the

20:17

cabinet. Yeah. But

20:21

yeah, the manager that they couldn't get on

20:24

the phone for you... They

20:27

finally got, oh, I

20:30

heard you were trying to get a hold of me. This

20:33

is Miss Mia. I'm

20:36

sorry. I was upstairs. Bingo

20:39

went to the fucking bow and arrow wing and

20:41

she tried it once and she hit the

20:43

fucking target and then said, oh,

20:46

we'll put that in the show

20:48

notes, that video.

20:49

Because she turns around and

20:51

goes, that's not the one I was aiming

20:53

for. Yeah, but you got it. So

20:56

then when Miss Mia, she goes, I'm sorry, I was

20:58

busy. I was upstairs running

21:01

the archery booth. That

21:06

was the general manager is running

21:09

up and down. She's landing

21:11

a carnival game that no one's attending.

21:15

She couldn't take care of the dude who rented

21:17

the most expensive fucking place in the

21:19

joint because she was running the

21:22

fucking archery. Yeah. The free archery

21:24

booth.

21:25

Yeah. And

21:27

even the front desk, there's so nice

21:30

Percy downstairs. They're

21:32

so nice. And then you're like, hey,

21:36

the fucking ironing

21:38

board, which I'm not an ironer. Get

21:42

out of town. You sleep iron.

21:45

So I brought one pair

21:47

of underwear. I'm not an ironer.

21:50

Four days.

21:51

One

21:53

shirt I go, I should iron this and Bingo

21:56

had to hold up one side. Shaley

21:58

had to find the stolen. Bible bonus

22:03

and he goes oh that's the only way fit

22:05

perfectly it was a miracle so

22:09

ironing board I just it's I know

22:11

it's petty shit but fifteen

22:13

hundred fucking dollars a night I

22:16

didn't even know about your guys ironing board I didn't

22:18

tell you when I pulled our ironing board out it

22:20

was flopped completely apart I

22:22

had to was broken I had to assemble

22:24

it back together figure out

22:27

what the legs together we have gone downstairs

22:29

a couple of times to get things in

22:31

the Bass Pro Shop that they didn't have up here

22:33

like I got the can opener the

22:36

camp the one you used to get in World

22:38

War two to open a can of rashes

22:39

yeah that one P58 okay

22:43

so I got two of those for 325 not bad not

22:46

bad

22:46

and then if we do need food

22:48

we could always get down to the freeze-dried camp

22:51

goods down there and I bet you

22:53

would before you'd eat my cooking we

22:56

ate your food last night Doug yeah I know because

22:58

you were drunk tell him you were

23:00

drunk Chely everyone be quiet oh

23:03

I don't have to yell I have a fucking lavalier

23:13

hey is that coming through on the audio loud and

23:15

clear

23:15

I

23:18

don't hear anyone talking over it oh

23:26

my god there's still asparagus

23:28

in there

23:28

no way hang on you know what

23:30

that reminds me of this commercial break

23:36

hey it's our good friends at Lucy there's nothing

23:38

worse than being at a great party or

23:40

an event or someplace where

23:43

you have to constantly walk away

23:45

to go get your nicotine fix with

23:48

Lucy Breakers you can get your nicotine fix

23:51

anywhere and still be the life of the

23:53

party the breaker pouches are

23:55

incredible they contain a liquid flavor

23:57

capsule that burst to moisten the pouch

23:59

and get you your nicotine even faster.

24:02

With flavors like espresso, apple, ice,

24:04

and mango, there's something for everyone. I

24:06

haven't dealt with nicotine in quite a while,

24:08

but that doesn't mean I don't always carry

24:11

a pouch to break in case of emergency.

24:14

You can even customize your nicotine strength

24:16

to totally customize the experience.

24:18

So visit lucy, L-U-C-Y dot C-O and

24:22

use promo code Stanhope to get 20%

24:25

off your first order. Shipping's always

24:27

free. That's Lucy, L-U-C-Y

24:29

dot C-O, promo

24:32

code Stanhope to receive 20% off

24:35

and always free shipping. Here comes the fine

24:37

print. Lucy products are only for adults

24:39

of legal age and every order is age verified.

24:42

This product contains nicotine. Nicotine

24:44

is an addictive chemical.

24:46

And really quickly before we get back to the

24:49

show,

24:51

I

24:54

wanted Crypt Daddy, you'd all know and

24:56

love Crypt Daddy. His debut

24:59

special is coming out in just a few

25:01

days on the 21st of July. So

25:03

go to cryptdaddy.com. That's Crypt

25:06

with two Ps, cryptdaddy.com.

25:09

And he's gonna sign up there,

25:11

a mailing list, and also where you can get

25:13

the album. It's called Sports

25:16

Illustrated Comedian Edition. I

25:18

look forward to it. All right, now back to the show.

25:24

How did you come walking out while I still

25:26

heard pee going in the toilet?

25:29

He's shooting from the door. That was weird. I

25:31

archived, yeah.

25:34

Julia Serving. On

25:40

the world's tallest elevator

25:43

ride that they sell tickets to.

25:46

When you get on it, to

25:50

distract you from the reality

25:52

of, this is just a fucking elevator

25:55

ride that a lot of people, there

25:57

is a restaurant up there that we wanted

25:59

to go to. But a lot of people are just

26:01

there to go all the

26:04

way up on the tallest thing three

26:06

in the world. It's

26:08

the Guinness Book of World Records

26:10

without their whatever they think

26:13

that they're actually paying money

26:15

to go up an elevator. I

26:18

actually had a bit about this on the

26:22

dying of a last breed. As

26:25

a premise, when

26:27

I was talking about trying not to hit kids

26:29

at a fucking Dance Mom competition, 2.5 star

26:31

hotels that bit.

26:35

And just as an aside, I'm talking

26:37

about them crowding

26:40

the fucking elevators with kids that

26:42

are too broke to afford six flags

26:45

so they think an elevator is a thrill

26:47

ride.

26:48

And now it became true. There's

26:50

people buying tickets for

26:52

this and there's a voiceover

26:55

of what's his name? Bill Dance. Bill

26:57

Dance is it? The boat. He's

26:59

the fishing boat guy who's known for

27:01

like over setting his hook on the

27:04

fishing boat show where he hooks

27:06

him really hard.

27:08

But he hooks him really hard for a show? But

27:10

when he leans way back and throws his

27:12

rod way into the air, Bill Dance. Makes

27:14

it exciting. People

27:18

thought it was Jim Norris though was

27:20

the guy who listened in the show notes,

27:22

say Bill Dance references.

27:25

So we bring in a Chad can

27:27

bring us a different demographic in

27:29

the meditats. People that know who fucking Bill Dance

27:32

is. But isn't

27:34

Jim Norris the guy that

27:36

like started Bass Pro

27:38

Shop? Yes. Bill Dance

27:41

is doing the voiceover. Oh, he's doing the voiceover

27:43

for. Yeah. Of the story about Jim Norris.

27:45

When we first got on that L, which by the way, there's

27:48

nobody monitoring these lines. We have this pass,

27:51

fast pass that didn't get us a fast

27:53

pass. Oh, wait. Well, yeah. For

27:55

the listener, they say included

27:57

in this package of shit.

31:51

Like

32:00

what if he popped out my eye or something like

32:02

it was like him showing weakness or

32:06

or or smart listen Yeah, that's

32:08

just common sense. I I totally

32:10

wouldn't fight Jamie Kilstein. He's been doing

32:12

Brazilian jiu-jitsu for a long time I

32:15

would look stupid when that little guy beat

32:17

the shit out of I know that's just smart

32:23

Look up to you as a bodyguard my bodyguard

32:26

I Would

32:29

hit him with something and knock him across the

32:31

room for fuck's sake But I wouldn't get

32:33

into a cage with them push him off the pyramid.

32:36

Yeah. Yeah I mean, there's

32:39

no need for me to get on that glass is

32:41

what I'm saying I'm

32:44

worried about chanting. Oh, I

32:46

might beat the shit out of me. I

32:48

Know that's a good segue. I'll

32:51

just run out. Yes over glass. Yes I

32:54

will wait by that door until you get hungry

32:58

Or thirsty. Yes, don't

33:00

kill Stan. Hope your wife's

33:02

scream Well,

33:06

let's take a break and then I come back. All

33:09

right. Yeah, okay. Yeah, please hold

33:17

Factor you know when

33:19

I'm deep in the shit the first thing that Gets

33:22

tossed out the window is cooking a nutritious

33:25

meal If you're trying to break the cycle

33:27

of just settling for drive-through

33:29

food just to save time and cuz

33:32

it's easy Factor has you

33:34

covered there America's number one ready

33:36

to eat meal kit Everything's delivered

33:38

right to your door so you can stay on top

33:41

of your health goals and your busy

33:43

schedule I've been living out of hotels for

33:45

seven months and when I'm not in a

33:47

hotel I'm traveling to a hotel

33:49

on the road to do work out of a hotel

33:52

So factor is perfect as it's fresh

33:55

never frozen meals takes two minutes to

33:57

prepare meal times are quick easy

33:59

delicious. They have over 34

34:02

weekly restaurant quality options

34:04

and there's always something new to try. And

34:07

Factor's flavor-packed meals fit a variety

34:09

of lifestyles from keto and calorie

34:11

conscious to vegan and vegetarian.

34:14

I almost said veterinarian. I'm leaving

34:17

it in. Head to factormeals.com

34:19

slash stanhope50 and use

34:21

code stanhope50 to get 50%

34:24

off. That's code stanhope50 at

34:27

factormeals.com slash

34:29

stanhope50 to get 50% off.

34:34

You are listening to the Doug Stanhope

34:37

Podcast.

34:45

And we're back.

34:48

When we last left you, you

34:53

back a little bit more the elevator

34:56

where they talk to you about it. We're

34:58

never would have built this without. It

35:01

seems like they built the

35:03

Luxor in Las Vegas,

35:07

where someone had an inside track

35:09

guaranteeing the city council is

35:11

going to pass this gaming thing, because

35:13

this could be a casino, but

35:15

instead, it's a fucking Bass

35:18

Pro Shop. And it's good everything

35:20

about a casino. It's permanent

35:22

midnight here. If you look at

35:25

it, and please do the virtual

35:27

tour of the governor's suite

35:30

in because there's one suite that

35:32

we're paying for that I thought, okay,

35:34

what a great way to go out before I

35:37

kill everyone in my entourage

35:39

and myself.

35:43

And let's do this

35:45

right. On the way up,

35:48

where we get the wristband to cut

35:50

the line. You get to cut

35:52

that in Disneyland. This

35:54

is a draw. You

35:57

get to cut the line for all the rides.

35:59

Yeah.

35:59

Here you get to cut the line for

36:02

an elevator and you still feel cool because

36:04

you cut the line But on the way back down

36:06

you go there's a huge line to get

36:08

back down out of this overpriced shit restaurant

36:12

Where Chad shanks afraid to

36:14

step on glass and let's just get back

36:16

down Oh, you can't cut the line on

36:18

the way back down. You're fucked and

36:20

you have to stand behind every Retarded

36:23

person and I you can

36:25

call him inbred or and be politically

36:28

correct But I call him retarded

36:30

Yeah, you have to wait in that mind

36:32

and there's no fucking platinum. You

36:34

can't You can't get

36:36

frequent flyer miles and status

36:39

to get back down from the retarded

36:41

outlook And there's no manager up there.

36:44

No, you can't talk to anybody Manager

36:48

down here is she's running the artery

36:51

So

36:54

That was the first that we explored

36:57

a little bit so this so of us

36:59

explored further than I would have liked Yeah,

37:02

well, I I and

37:06

Yet to understand I don't think I brought this

37:08

up on the last podcast We had

37:10

a some company come over

37:12

AJ and this gal pal. So

37:15

I came down from my north

37:18

lodging at the

37:20

Your hotel home. Yeah, my hotel

37:23

month number nine, I believe of living

37:26

in Insurance paid airport

37:28

hotel

37:29

and I came down at night normally

37:31

stay at Bingo's house The quiet

37:34

house and now we have company

37:36

there So I stayed in the guest house

37:39

our 300 square foot guest house that we put

37:41

bunk beds in Mattresses

37:44

by who who gives a fuck they dumped

37:46

us as a sponsor But not before we get

37:48

to mattress is very comfortable

37:51

still But I slept two nights on

37:53

the top bunk and two nights in

37:55

a row. I

37:56

fell out splattered

37:59

like a bag of wet garbage

38:02

onto the newly tiled floor. And

38:05

not just, I didn't fall out. Consciously,

38:09

the first night I go,

38:10

oh, I'm in the top bunk. I'll just glide

38:13

out where I think my feet must be this

38:15

close to the floor and then I let myself

38:18

go. But I was way

38:20

wrong. And then flop,

38:22

fingers in the bottom of my hand, both hips,

38:25

hips, knees,

38:26

slap to the tile. The

38:29

second night, I just thought I was in

38:31

bed getting up to pee. And I thought,

38:33

oh, I didn't even fart. I

38:36

just, oh, slap, slap.

38:41

It was so bad. Both

38:43

times fingers like, oh my god,

38:45

are you off? I know, I'm like, OK. I

38:47

still, I have a bad hip.

38:52

It might just be aged, you know, hips

38:54

and knees or things that go, but I will always

38:57

blame this hip on that second

38:59

ball because

39:01

I hit hard. I hit a real

39:03

bloody guard ball. You know, when

39:05

we're putting those together, what happened was

39:08

when we got the mattresses on trade, they

39:11

don't give you the low end. They

39:13

give you the high end. So we got the extra tall ones.

39:16

And I'm putting that mattress in there. I'm going like, there's

39:19

like no guard rail because it goes up above

39:21

the heart. It's flush. But

39:24

I know that. So when I go

39:26

to bed, I tuck the sheet. Yeah,

39:28

I tuck the blanket in

39:31

so I can't roll out of this bed.

39:33

You need a seat belt and a net. I

39:35

do. I was getting up to piss. And

39:38

I needed to take the blanket off. This first

39:41

night, I knew I was in a top bunk. I

39:44

just misjudged.

39:45

I never got out of the top

39:47

bunk before, so I go out. Mm.

39:51

Second night,

39:52

I forgot I was going to get the blanket

39:55

off. Forgot I'm upstairs.

39:58

Plop. Why

40:00

did you push back? What are you doing? I

40:02

said plop really hard. I want you to

40:04

be afraid on you get sit back

40:07

on Yeah, you know we

40:09

could do I just thought of it We go to Harbor

40:11

Freight and we get one of those those

40:13

cargo nets they go on the back of your truck

40:16

Yeah, just tap down to the ceiling. They

40:18

were taught we have already talked about that.

40:20

Oh great. Fuck. Yeah, definitely

40:23

Well, you know what? It takes sometimes

40:25

it takes a Horrible

40:27

injury. Yeah, it's true for

40:29

you know Real mother of invention No

40:34

one even drives down these roads Why

40:36

would they put a red light because one fucking

40:38

asshole fell out of a bunk bed twice?

40:43

Ceiling that every time you know,

40:46

they say the same thing about warning labels Kind

40:50

of a moron inspired this warning

40:52

label Well, first of all, we've

40:54

had bunk beds in there for fucking a year

40:56

And I'm the only person who's ever slept

40:59

in the top bunk. Yeah. Oh wait. No the fucking

41:01

the the the the the turd

41:04

cloud

41:04

Turd cloud. I don't

41:07

Whatever you call Mackenzie Taylor

41:11

Yeah, they I think they stayed one night

41:13

one energy night because you can't call

41:16

him bird cloud because So

41:18

turd cloud is Taylor and

41:20

bird cloud. What a nice. Yeah,

41:22

that doesn't work

41:23

It does kind of work ah

41:30

Speaking of sleeping Speaking

41:34

of people coming down the

41:36

elevator looking at us if that's on your notes

41:39

Okay, so so you don't get out

41:43

Yeah of the upstairs.

41:45

Oh, you can cut the line put coming

41:47

down Yeah, you're fucked

41:50

and once you get on the elevator down

41:52

it goes. Hey, I'm fucking

41:54

Clyde again Don't

41:58

worry about how much you just spent

42:00

up with that lookout lawn and yes,

42:02

there's cracks in the glass. You might slide

42:04

down the goddamn bare bed. That's

42:07

your own fucking fault. Anyway,

42:09

look over there. There's the governor's

42:12

suite. It costs a lot of fucking

42:14

money and they're eating the goddamn can

42:16

opener.

42:17

Yes. Look right

42:19

in there. So when we're looking out

42:21

and going, hey, look at the the

42:24

fucking view. The

42:27

elevator is looking in at you.

42:29

Every motherfucker coming down is

42:31

getting directions to look at us. There

42:34

is one specific road. It

42:37

costs $1,500 a night. What

42:40

fucking goober is going to pay that

42:42

for a fucking facade

42:44

of a ha? It's a,

42:46

oh, you're in the great outdoors. No,

42:48

you ain't. You're

42:49

in a fucking mall.

42:52

You fucking fag you. The

42:54

customer services here.

42:56

These people are assholes. Hey,

43:00

ladies, wall burgers open for breakfast.

43:03

As long

43:03

as they have you. I

43:06

told Stan. I

43:08

don't say that we

43:09

need to do pressed hands on the window

43:11

next time. When the elevator comes down.

43:14

Here's the problem with pressed hands. My friend

43:16

is out back

43:18

long ago in Bisbee. There was

43:21

a ghost tours. There

43:24

was a guy at our

43:26

friend Steve Drew's establishment.

43:29

Best day drinking bar, perhaps the

43:31

grand breakfast to and

43:34

it does have a fucking great breakfast.

43:36

There was a cantankerous

43:38

old local that

43:41

saw the ghost tours going

43:44

past the grand and

43:46

he pressed a ham. No,

43:49

he didn't like fucking tourists

43:52

or a sham business. Yeah,

43:54

sham is that any fucking town that has

43:56

a ghost tour means we have nothing

43:59

else.

43:59

So, so the guy wounds them and he got

44:02

arrested. No, stand up. Let

44:04

me finish him. Correct me. Okay. Shut

44:07

your fucking. No, you're fucking. He

44:09

pressed a hand and they were going to, uh, uh, they

44:11

arrested him and they

44:13

were going to charge him as a sex offender and make

44:15

him a register because there were kids in the tour

44:22

and he exposed himself and decently. And

44:24

this has changed every time I hear sex offenders.

44:28

Every time I hear someone had

44:30

to fucking register as a sex

44:33

offender, I think, all right, how much bullshit

44:35

is involved as your attorney, mr. Stan

44:38

Hope, I would like to say, uh, in your own

44:40

private residence that you paid quite a

44:43

bit for,

44:43

I think you're allowed to press your hand

44:45

all you want. If people want

44:47

to look, uh, from that fucking

44:49

elevator, well, that's their own fucking problem. Press, I think that,

44:51

uh,

44:51

I think that if you pay $1,500 a night,

44:53

strictly, I would say, like

44:57

strictly to press ham on

44:59

that window all day long.

45:02

That's your own fucking business. If I

45:04

could get Joe Pesci to come down

45:06

and defend me in a court of law strategically

45:10

as a Yankee, go

45:12

ahead. Tell me where is one thing. No,

45:16

you got right. But, um, people

45:18

got in trouble continuously

45:21

after that for wearing, um, the

45:23

plastic butt cheeks.

45:24

They got, they got in trouble

45:27

as well for the same

45:29

thing. Yeah. Yeah. All

45:32

right. So it did slow

45:35

up the flow of my story. Sorry. That's

45:38

a good point though, that it wasn't even after that,

45:40

it wasn't even pressed ham. Yeah. Fake

45:43

pressed ham. Fake ham. They don't

45:45

give you a fake arrest. What's that? Yeah.

45:48

Carl Budding. Yeah.

45:50

Remember that fucking, the shitty,

45:53

the finished. Yeah. Give me a good

45:55

ham. Spam. Look

45:58

at my nose. because oh my

46:01

god, you have a bait! We didn't make

46:03

it to the part where you don't kill Stan-ho. Well...

46:06

It was the first night. The first

46:08

night. A long journey

46:10

in the everlasting permanent midnight. Yeah,

46:13

because we... The governor's sweet. Yeah. Doug

46:16

continues his penchant

46:18

for early fucking morning flights.

46:21

Yeah, because we had... We had... 3 a.m.

46:24

We had flown all day and been

46:26

here and went up the long elevator

46:29

and went over and listened to Daryl

46:31

Davis jam out with

46:34

some jazz already. It

46:35

was a long day. Yeah, we

46:38

came back here. The next

46:40

podcast will be about Freedom

46:42

Fest. We

46:45

haven't even really participated. Oh

46:47

shit, that's tonight. You have a show in a couple

46:50

of hours. Several hours. So...

46:52

Well, okay, so we go to bed. I

46:55

took... I took... I took...

46:58

I took two Benadryls and a

47:00

Xanax. I knew you took something. You

47:02

had taken the Xanax the last time I talked

47:05

to you and said you were going to take the Benadryls.

47:08

So I went to bed. I took three muscle

47:10

relaxers. Let me... For the listeners,

47:13

if you didn't already go through the

47:15

virtual tour at BigScipressLodge.com,

47:18

Governor's Sweet. There's

47:19

a bedroom with two beds on one

47:21

side, one bed on the other. So

47:24

you're in the King bed suite, the

47:26

trey... Tralees and Bingo and I

47:29

are in the two queen on the other side. This,

47:31

where we're podcasting, is community

47:34

and the fucking gorgeous balcony

47:37

that you always wait for the sun to come up

47:40

and it never does. It's permanent

47:42

midnight. So

47:44

you're quietly in bed. I'm

47:48

passed out sleeping

47:50

nicely and in

47:52

the middle of about almost... I think it's almost

47:54

two in the morning and

47:57

I hear a man's voice. in

48:00

my room. And

48:02

I'm not used to sleep in other places. I know

48:04

Stan was used to sleep in other places and all you

48:06

guys are used to sleep in other places. I'm not used to sleep in other

48:08

places. So when I wake up, I'm thoroughly

48:11

confused. But to wake up and

48:13

hear a man's voice. On

48:15

the tail of a podcast where Derek

48:18

woke up and had a gal. You

48:20

know what I mean?

48:21

That's so fresh. They

48:24

have a door directly to the hallway outside where

48:26

people walk by. Both bedrooms

48:29

have separate doors. That's

48:31

technically 358 and 315. Right.

48:35

Whatever. Six. Yeah, there's

48:38

three ways to get into my room. There's the glass door to the porch. There's

48:41

the exit to the way. And then there's

48:43

the living room entrance. So I thought all of those

48:46

doors were locked and closed. Apparently

48:49

that was not

48:50

the case. And let me

48:52

add, Chaley locks

48:56

even these doors to the balcony. Well,

48:59

rightly so. I came

49:01

through last night and did a security

49:03

suite while I was drunk.

49:06

And this gate over here was

49:08

wide open.

49:09

Yeah. This is a gun shop. Basically

49:13

we're staying in a pyramid shaped gun

49:15

shop that no one stays

49:18

in. And he

49:21

locks these doors. Like someone might

49:23

hop over like Spider-Man

49:26

and come in. Don't you get it? It

49:29

can come from the hallway. The hallway.

49:30

You can get onto our balcony. Yeah, no, but why would

49:32

they? Who would do that? Well, that's more

49:35

ridiculous. He's

49:37

crazy. Well, yeah, I don't think anybody

49:39

would in their right mind.

49:41

That's kind of fun. It's

49:44

permanent midnight. He shuts

49:46

the blinds in the living room. Well, what

49:48

kind of weirdo area I

49:50

wake up and I like, well,

49:53

ask yourself, I'll

49:55

answer your question with a question. What

49:57

kind of weirdo stays at the big cypress?

49:59

launch so stupid that I had to fly every one of us out here

50:02

because why how else are

50:10

we gonna remember each other well what other kind

50:12

of

50:16

phone call on one of our batteries

50:19

dying can I have an alarm sorry okay

50:21

so what happened okay so so

50:24

all right we're going this first night and

50:26

we have our separate bedrooms with the fucking

50:29

interior all the neutral

50:31

Switzerland territory and

50:35

I don't I don't know if I fell asleep on the couch

50:37

or where I fell asleep but I

50:40

wake up to a man's

50:42

voice in

50:45

my bedroom and

50:47

I look I sit up and I look over

50:49

and I see Jenny just snuggled

50:52

up

50:52

sleeping in my bed

50:54

next to me like I would expect but then

50:57

I look beyond Jenny and there's somebody

50:59

else snuggled up sleeping

51:02

under the covers next to Jenny and

51:04

immediately I said what

51:09

the fuck and

51:12

Jenny then looks at me and says it's

51:14

Stan Hope don't kill Stan

51:17

Hope

51:19

evidently Jenny's not gonna fucking

51:21

testify but

51:22

just in

51:25

her retailing says I

51:29

came in and said hey you

51:31

know move over it's cold and

51:34

not in a kind way they move over

51:37

it's cold and so she moved over

51:39

that's what what she said she woke up

51:42

and still obviously we don't like

51:44

she's same as me used to being at home

51:46

so she was still try because my first question

51:48

was why the fuck did you wake me up and she

51:50

said well she was still confused trying

51:52

to take it in because she woke up and you were standing

51:54

at the foot of the bed and then

51:58

you walked over and said

52:00

move over I'm cold which was

52:03

the man's voice that I heard and

52:05

by that point you had

52:08

already snuggled in the

52:10

bed and Jenny being Jenny

52:13

moved over because you were cold

52:16

I mean you're paying for the joint

52:19

that the bedrooms are fucking cold yes

52:21

so yeah if you woke up you like

52:24

and it's always dark especially

52:26

when Chely shuts all the blinds and

52:28

turns up all the lights okay yeah

52:31

the left and right I yeah

52:34

and this is how it continues once

52:37

I realized that that's because

52:39

I'm wondering why Bingo is making weird noise

52:42

like well

52:45

I'm just grateful the Jenny sleeps in her

52:47

pajamas I

52:50

I did I did have full

52:52

garnish Stanhope was in the big

52:55

cypress lodge road

52:57

swingers road yeah the official

52:59

swingers road I thought it was

53:01

my button-down white

53:04

shirt

53:04

either way I was I don't

53:07

ever sleep naked not since the incident

53:09

with Chely so

53:11

so Stanhope immediately mimics

53:14

what I said what the fuck

53:17

and then jumps up

53:19

out of bed and

53:22

immediately heads into the bathroom

53:24

it's completely fucking pitch

53:27

black so so now

53:30

by this point it's funny once Jenny has

53:32

diffused me from murder mode

53:35

and said Stanhope don't kill Stanhope

53:38

and I'm like okay it's Stanhope you

53:40

know no harm you

53:43

know even if Stanhope came over to fuck

53:45

we're not gonna fuck I'm

53:48

still in control here with

53:50

hard no harm no foul yeah but

53:53

you know stand up heads to the bathroom and I'm like

53:55

that's the bathroom buddy and

53:58

then heads

53:59

to the exit door and I'm like, that's

54:02

the exit man. And then he turns

54:04

around and goes, this is not the same hotel

54:06

as last night. I'm like, no

54:09

sir indeed. And it's not. And

54:12

then he headed out in the correct door and

54:15

made it wherever, I don't know where

54:17

he went from there. I didn't get, I

54:19

probably should have got up and escorted

54:21

him out, I guess. I felt bad for that,

54:24

but I'm pretty fucking tired. I have

54:26

to go back to bed.

54:30

Even when you're a fucking roofie, they don't

54:32

know to fucking walk you out properly.

54:38

Oh yeah. All right,

54:40

I'm looking at the, yeah,

54:44

everything else is gonna be on the next

54:46

podcast because we're still

54:49

gonna take in the rest.

54:51

We are, oh fuck, we might even

54:53

do that. RFK, where

54:55

it's fucking 3.30 in the afternoon.

54:58

In our heads, it's midnight because

55:01

it's that fucking dark all the time.

55:03

Casinos make you

55:06

unaware of the time, but you don't

55:08

know what if it's night or day. Here

55:10

you just think it's night all

55:12

the fucking time. I can tell it's

55:15

not between 10 a.m.

55:16

and 9 p.m. if

55:18

the elevator's not running. That's the only

55:21

way you can tell. When Chad the other morning, this

55:23

morning I woke up at like eight o'clock and

55:26

Chad said he was out on the deck

55:28

with the rocking chairs where they tell all

55:31

the tourists to look on their way down the stupid

55:33

elevator. And he said

55:35

at 8.59,

55:37

pop music started playing and

55:39

I'm gonna be out there for that, but instead I

55:42

ate breakfast. Hop music,

55:44

the song hop music? No, no,

55:47

talk about. Just pop

55:49

radio. Their music started

55:51

up. The store music comes on at 8.59.

55:54

When they open the gates

55:56

at 9, 8.59, they start that music.

55:58

We have so much to fucking talk about, bro. We're

56:00

we're we're again soon

56:03

the redo the new

56:05

podcast get your fucking fucking

56:08

cheap Patreon fucking

56:10

kicks in now because we're gonna the

56:14

Nickelback story going to see Nickelback

56:16

and fucking Salt Lake we had to fuck that's

56:19

an entire podcast We have a

56:21

lot of shit and just

56:24

Freedom fest We

56:26

have a lot of we're ours birthday This

56:29

wonky. Oh my god. I

56:32

do have a before we sign off Maybe

56:34

it's another story, but I do have a small. Thank you

56:36

to the Memphis police I

56:39

watched that actually I tried to

56:41

cock block

56:42

for you Walking

56:44

down Beale Street. I wanted to smoke some weed

56:46

and Couldn't find it. I was like

56:48

fuck. I just folks weed on Beale Street. It's

56:51

a blocked off Street seems

56:54

pretty open and there's a Thing

56:57

that way Beale Street on both ends

56:59

of Beale Street We saw some

57:01

guys smoking weed early on you

57:04

know up there Get down to the end

57:06

and I saw three bicycle cops rode

57:08

away into the distance And Tracy

57:10

Bingo and I are right

57:12

under the arch or right past

57:14

the arch that says Beale Street And

57:16

there's a cop car with two cops Well,

57:19

there was a cop car from my

57:21

first from your perspective exactly We

57:23

thought I was one of the like the dummy ones where it like

57:26

they parked the car there with smoked windows

57:28

So you would see what things you were

57:30

standing right next to it So two

57:32

cops of separate one blue one brown

57:35

uniform So I see a cop car

57:37

over there parked and thinking it's an empty cop

57:39

car and Shaley goes I look right over here,

57:41

so I go over and we're doing the dark of

57:43

the joint I

57:44

Like I smoke an entire

57:47

joint underneath this thing and

57:49

then realize oh look I was underneath the

57:51

police sign So I told Jenny take a

57:53

picture of me under that police side smoking

57:55

weed

57:56

I go stand under it It's his pose for a picture

57:58

smoking a joint And

58:01

one of the cops gets out of the cop car

58:03

and walks over and just looks at me like,

58:06

you done asshole? Really? Fuck.

58:09

I just put that joint out. Thank you

58:11

sir. Sorry. So I both apologize.

58:14

There's no such thing as white privilege.

58:16

Yeah. I both

58:19

apologize and thank those

58:21

Memphis police on my assholes. Well if you saw us

58:23

while you were smoking the pot, and

58:25

maybe you can put this in the show notes is

58:28

one of your pictures of me just

58:31

posing under

58:31

the be all sign. I take pictures

58:33

of me so they stop looking at you.

58:36

We're watching the cops. Watch you. I'm

58:38

like, oh, I'll do this. I literally

58:40

was doing dancing monkey for

58:43

them to not look at you going like

58:45

this at their face without you knowing

58:47

they were giant police. Oh fuck.

58:50

I did not know there was cops in that cop car.

58:52

I thought it was an empty car. I've got video

58:54

of them dancing like that and

58:57

you can see, you can't see into the cop

58:59

car from our vantage point that you can see

59:01

bodies in there. We know that. I'm just saying

59:04

even from the video footage, you cannot tell there's

59:06

cops in there.

59:07

Why would you do that? You wouldn't do that.

59:09

We would have gone around in a corner. This is what happens

59:11

on your day to day listener, the level

59:13

where you go, you hit a four way stop

59:16

at the same time and you go,

59:18

go ahead like this with your hand, not

59:21

knowing they can't see because the

59:24

sun is reflecting off your windshield. And you're

59:26

like, go fucking asshole. And

59:29

you have no idea. Are

59:32

you a fucking retard?

59:36

Jenny was taking pictures of, like I told

59:38

Jenny, I go, when I walked away, there was, I

59:41

noticed that there was a police sign right there

59:43

and I go,

59:44

oh, there's a, I was smoking weed under a police

59:46

sign. I can take pictures of me smoking

59:48

weed under the police sign. That's so cool. Then

59:51

I went over there to pose and that was when the cop

59:53

walked out and then Jenny got a picture

59:56

of me, but she didn't take, she tried

59:58

to get me in the picture instead of

59:59

police sign. So it just says lice

1:00:02

with me. Is that

1:00:04

the one where you're going, oh. But then she's

1:00:06

like one more, one more. But it's

1:00:08

really just a picture of me putting out

1:00:11

the weed with my jaw open going.

1:00:13

We're having a show now. Because.

1:00:16

All right. Take us out of here, bingo. We

1:00:18

have to fucking I have to be funny in

1:00:20

fucking six and a half hours. Oh,

1:00:23

my God. Take a nap, Stanhope. Yeah.

1:00:25

I mean, how do you

1:00:27

shut your fucking mouth? OK,

1:00:30

I know.

1:00:59

So.