In anticipation of J.J. Abrams' follow-up to his highly successful reboot of the Star Trek franchise, Nick and Dimitri survey every theatrical release featuring the original crew of the U.S.S. Enterprise, except for Star Trek: The Motion Picture (1979), which we'll discuss in our spin-off series Don't F--- with the Original. If you're more of a Trekker than a Trekkie, please stay tune for part two of our conversation, wherein we'll review all of the flicks starring Captain Jean-Luc Picard.