I can think back to so many times I wished I was someone different. Growing up I wanted to be more athletic like my cousins.  Three boys from the same family all played football and went to Division III colleges on scholarship.  They were excellent athletes and physically fit, and as I remember it  they could eat anything they wanted.

I played baseball in grade school, but was cut from the high school team. I played clarinet in the high school marching band, and played varsity water polo for 2 years.  At that time, not the cool things to do.  I also was dumpy.  I didn’t have the athletic body my cousins had and I couldn’t eat with impunity like they could. If I ate what they did, they burned it all up while I got fat.  When they were passing out the lottery tickets for fat burning genetics, I came up with losing numbers. 

In my early career I wanted to be more successful. I wanted to earn more money and have cooler things. I also wanted to be more physially fit like my friends and I thought the combo of more cash and a better body would translate into attracting more women.  But I majored in social work and worked in non-profit organizations which meant that I didn’t make nearly what my friends in the corporate world were making.  I also didn’t take care of myself, so I felt unattractive which isn’t a good mindset in the dating process.

Wishing I was someone else only led to discouragement and poor performance.

In all those years wishing and trying to be someone else, I failed to realize who I am.  Isn’t it obvious that we can’t be something we are not? Yet how many times do we compare ourselves with others  and come up with lousy conclusions about ourselves? Being someone else doesn’t bring happiness, contentment, and success.  Being ourselves does.

When I look back at all the things I wished I could be I was looking at the external and ignoring what was really important to me.

When I wanted to be athletic: I really wanted be healthy and proud of the way I looked.

When I wanted to be successful: I really wanted to feel like my life mattered and I was making a difference.

Becoming who I am is about reaching beyond the facade of external cues of looks and success and living the core values I already possess.

Being overweight was not who I am, but being my cousins isn’t me either. Being a personal of health and being fit enough to engage in life is who I am. I’m working everyday to stay fit, strong, and flexible.  I do my best to eat right, because that’s what I value.

Being unsuccessful is not who I am, but my success does not look like others.  Being a person of success means that I’m living the life I am, contributing to my family, and making a difference in other peoples lives through my work and volunteering.

Reinvention is not about being something different. It’s about returning to who your are, to the core values and beliefs that make up the core of your being.

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