I was abducted by a 375th level general from the Tenth Order of the Elastic Sun Tribe and subjected to a right of passage too gruesome to retell! Let it be known that I rejected the titles offered to me after the ordeal, and let them know, in no uncertain terms, that their shiny, platinum award trophies meant less than nothing to me! I screamed, “I am a free man!” as I lept towards injury and ruin from the crenelated heights of their fortress walls!

Topics that might* be covered in this episode: Illuminati scum, citrus, the power of prayer, death from above, several rants about how “I'm so fucking enlightened”, snakes, birds, unicorns, wizards 'n shit, demons, angels, angles, dingles, dongles, dangles, and corn on the cob.

*All, some, or none of these topics may be covered.