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 Designing Moments: A New Approach to Event Entertainment - With Paul Hoke

Designing Moments: A New Approach to Event Entertainment - With Paul Hoke

Released Wednesday, 27th March 2024
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 Designing Moments: A New Approach to Event Entertainment - With Paul Hoke

Designing Moments: A New Approach to Event Entertainment - With Paul Hoke

 Designing Moments: A New Approach to Event Entertainment - With Paul Hoke

Designing Moments: A New Approach to Event Entertainment - With Paul Hoke

Wednesday, 27th March 2024
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

Listen, I listen to dad,

0:02

I left space. It

0:04

was more about the silence than

0:06

the questions. Honestly, you've always

0:08

been in our industry. What's

0:11

the why behind that? Go a

0:13

little deeper. What's the why? My

0:16

next guest is someone that you

0:18

might not traditionally think is

0:45

the right fit for our audience,

0:47

our community here. But having spent several days

0:49

with him on the water, that's a story

0:51

for another day, I got to

0:53

learn a lot more about Paul as a human and

0:55

what he does. And I think his

0:57

experiences will allow each one of you to

0:59

reflect on your own lives and how you're

1:01

creating these experiences for your own clients. So

1:04

we're going to get into it. Paul,

1:06

for the people who don't know who you are,

1:08

can you please introduce yourself and

1:10

tell us a little bit of your

1:13

backstory? Hi, I'm Paul Hope. I'm in

1:15

Greenville, South Carolina. It turns out Ben

1:17

also lives here. I

1:19

started watching Chris probably five or six years

1:21

ago because I was a unicorn in my

1:23

industry. And his voice

1:27

and lessons resonated with me where the

1:29

people in my industry kind of graded

1:31

against what I

1:33

saw that my customers that I

1:36

served needed. And

1:38

just as he spoke the design language, I

1:40

started to take that

1:42

on my own and go, how would that apply to my

1:44

industry? And it was, I couldn't

1:46

jump in full force, as you guys know,

1:48

when you start watching, you just kind of consume

1:51

all his information. And then I had to

1:53

translate it to what I was doing

1:55

and how I was serving a specific client. And

1:57

what I've been doing for 25 years is teaching

1:59

so much. social dancing to introverts

2:01

at Clemson University. And

2:05

when they would have a wedding celebration, very

2:08

conservative doubts, and again,

2:10

serving engineers, their families

2:12

don't throw grand parties

2:14

with alcohol. So it

2:16

was kind of common like, oh, they'll, we'll cut the cake

2:18

and then everybody will take off or they'll just have

2:21

a fellowship. And I'm like, okay, so you

2:23

don't dance. That's, that's okay. But we can

2:25

still celebrate. How does your family

2:28

have fun? So as

2:30

I listened to your design ideas and your

2:32

discovery, I would almost use the same questions

2:34

to go, well, what's important to you? That's

2:37

where you should spend your money. Who's important

2:39

to you? Grandma and

2:41

grandpa, me and people have been married 63

2:44

years. How do

2:46

we celebrate that? Oh, you don't want

2:48

to throw a bouquet. Let's not throw a bouquet.

2:51

But what if we have a moment where you

2:53

hand your throwing bouquet to

2:55

grandma, to me, mom, pop, pop.

2:57

And then the next song is

3:00

me most favorite song that they slow

3:02

dance to. What would that look like?

3:04

So that is not about a shtick.

3:06

I do it a thing. It is Jennifer's

3:09

me mom, pop, pop, they're married 63

3:12

years. It is she doesn't want to

3:14

throw the bouquet. It is honoring me mom,

3:16

pop, pop without that thing

3:19

of, well, you've been married 63

3:21

years. Do you have any wedding advice? We've

3:24

seen that. That doesn't

3:26

connect. It's kind of go it's the

3:28

hallmark movie with the different characters, the

3:31

different setting, but it's still the same storyline.

3:33

Can we modify it? And then

3:35

I ran into you and you got me and kind of

3:37

chasing that rabbit trail gave me a little confidence to, to

3:40

not listen to the DJ

3:43

community and world. It's like, hey, we'll

3:45

just recreate a night book. That's

3:47

all we do. And a lot of my customers come

3:50

to me and they want to talk

3:52

about music. And I go, yes, I

3:54

can do that in two weeks. That's easy. It's

3:56

this other part of serving your family in the

3:59

way that they don't even

4:01

know they want to be served. That is the

4:03

design aspect. Okay, so there's a couple things

4:05

I want to highlight for everyone because I spent more time with

4:07

Paul and I just want to zoom out

4:09

a little bit, give everyone some context here. So,

4:12

when you spend time with somebody, you kind of have to get

4:14

to know who they are. And the

4:16

way that he might describe himself to maybe a

4:18

stranger at some point, maybe not today, but it's

4:20

like I'm a wedding DJ or MC. And

4:23

then I'm like, what? The guy that I know

4:25

online, you're just, no, wait. No, no, well, there's

4:27

a backstory to that. Well, I teach dancing. Wait,

4:29

wait. There's another thing. Why do you need to

4:31

teach dancing? Because there are all these techie engineer

4:33

types who are very socially awkward or

4:35

introverts and dancing is a way for them

4:38

to be a little bit

4:40

more personable. And they have a skill

4:42

that they can use to build relationships with. And then

4:44

this leads you down this path. And

4:47

we're now at this point in which you're

4:49

being asked by your former students for

4:51

getting married. How do you craft an

4:53

experience? And what I want our audience to

4:55

listen for is listen to how Paul

4:57

breaks out of his category, goes

5:00

against the grain of what people in his space

5:02

do. And he finds something he's able

5:04

to deliver in the way that many of you would

5:06

approach a website or a logo or brand identity. And

5:09

that's what I want you to listen for, because there's a lot that

5:11

you're going to be able to scrape and learn from the things

5:13

that he's doing. And I hope he's

5:15

going to share some of these really heartfelt stories. And

5:17

for you to be able to map this to, wait,

5:19

this is an opportunity for me to do something different.

5:22

So that's the context, everybody. Listen in for this

5:24

part. OK. Paul, here's

5:26

the question for you. You're an out of the

5:28

box thinker. You're a very charming guy. It's

5:31

part of the South. And you are a very good representative

5:33

of the South. And you've

5:35

told me stories like, OK, a traditional

5:37

wedding has certain beats and notes and

5:40

it's very templatized. And you didn't

5:42

want to do that. First, take me why you don't

5:44

want to do that. And then let's get into some

5:46

of the things that you do and then the actual

5:48

applications and the stories that you have to share. So

5:51

when I first started just helping students,

5:53

they're like, man, we like what the

5:55

events you throw for dancers. Can

5:57

you help us do this at our wedding? And I was

5:59

like, yeah. And they

6:01

would rent these amazing hotels and then

6:03

we would play swing dance music or

6:06

local variations of that Carolina Shag. And

6:10

that was what the

6:12

couple loved. And after about

6:15

an hour, the guests were like,

6:17

okay, we've had enough of that. Let's go back

6:19

to what we know as a

6:21

traditional wedding celebration. And they're like,

6:23

no, we're going to stick with our music. And I'm like,

6:25

we can, but let me try

6:28

two songs that please them. And

6:31

the crowd fills the floor and they're like, oh,

6:33

maybe you know better. So then I

6:35

started quit being a vendor and

6:37

being an expert in the area of

6:39

serving couples. And

6:42

I started to question, well, I

6:44

know you want EDM and your

6:46

group will have it. Let's

6:48

have your guys dance for 20 minutes here.

6:51

We'll give them a break, go to the bar,

6:53

and then we'll dance EDM later. So

6:56

sometimes years later, in fact,

6:58

a friend of mine, his name is Paul. He

7:00

came back a couple years later. Now I get what you were trying

7:02

to do. Yeah, you spent

7:05

60 grand down in Charleston on

7:08

the Bay throwing this amazing wedding.

7:11

And I wanted to keep people there. So

7:14

my guarantee used to be again, learn from you.

7:17

If 80% of the people aren't there at the end, I haven't

7:19

done my job. Maybe I

7:21

owe you money out of the talent fee. Let's

7:24

talk about that. Who's going to guarantee you the guest day

7:27

to the end? Nobody.

7:29

And they lean in and listen to that. And

7:33

I would have family members come up and

7:35

go, well, how do you know this couple?

7:38

Oh, they're my students at Clemson, man, this is a

7:40

great wedding. Oh, really? What's different about

7:42

it? I don't know. It's

7:44

just different. That

7:47

doesn't help me. And I'm on

7:49

the job in the job. I can't explore that

7:51

deeper. So I started shadowing

7:53

other details. And I

7:55

actually worked for a multi op, which means they have 20

7:57

DJs. in

8:00

Charleston. So I would go down for

8:02

three years, work in the busy

8:04

season, and we would just

8:06

split the fee. And I

8:08

call it a fill in the blank wedding. If

8:10

the couple would get an online planner, choose

8:13

their song, everything was kind of

8:15

set in the order. And they

8:18

just filled in the blank, not knowing if it

8:20

was a better or worse answer. My

8:23

job when I worked for them was to call

8:26

the bride, not even the couple on

8:28

Wednesday. Hi, I'm

8:30

Paul, I'll be your DJ. Do

8:32

you have any questions? No,

8:34

I've never thrown a party like this. I

8:36

don't know what questions to ask. No,

8:39

it's fine. We'll see you Saturday. Okay.

8:42

I'd show up, introduce them into the room,

8:44

and then

8:47

walk over to the table and introduce myself. I'm

8:49

here to represent your family on the microphone, but

8:52

I'm working solo. So I got to stand behind

8:54

that stand where I'm not commanding presence. I'm not

8:56

building a rapport in the room. And

8:59

this is Charleston. This is a top

9:01

wedding destination. And what I

9:03

saw was their process

9:05

and brides like a factor. I

9:08

do more romantic, sentimental,

9:11

vulnerable heartfelt perceptions up in

9:13

Greenville, South Carolina. That's

9:16

marketing, that's perception. That's not reality.

9:19

And then I started to understand, oh,

9:23

that's my difference.

9:26

They DJs love

9:28

music. I

9:30

love my students. I love my couples.

9:33

So I serve them and their families, where

9:36

DJs are all about. And couples come to me, what

9:38

are we going to do with music? And I'm like, yes,

9:41

let's talk about that. But

9:44

what about this other conversation? Are your

9:46

parents more important? Are your Riemann people

9:48

more important? So I started

9:51

exploring that idea. And you had a language

9:53

that I connected with, listened to

9:55

Blair and just kind of the

9:58

mentors you've had on here. Again,

10:00

I've taught for 25 years and you're

10:02

an excellent teacher and meeting you in person. You

10:05

are who you are. Like that was what

10:07

most impressed me when we hung out, you

10:09

know, back in August was

10:12

you're the same person. You asked me a

10:14

billion questions. You're just a curious soul like

10:16

myself, you know, and I enjoy

10:18

that discovery session with my couples and trying

10:20

to find out who's important in the room.

10:23

I'll call dads, you know, go, Hey, what does that

10:26

father daughter dance look like? I have a daughter. And

10:29

one time when a friend was dancing

10:31

with her dad and that was an important moment.

10:34

I knew what that moment meant to her. I thought

10:36

of my daughter. She was eight and

10:39

I started to tear up. I

10:42

got to make an announcement right. I got to transition

10:44

that get it together. You can't

10:46

be vulnerable in this moment. And

10:49

then I started thinking, who's going to serve me

10:51

and my daughter when we get there? And

10:54

again, eight, that's a long way away. Or

10:57

she's 16 now. So

10:59

I wanted to do more meaningful

11:01

questions and more meaningful discovery and

11:03

serving the clients. And

11:05

I asked Tyler, she and I'm skipping around

11:07

brides that I said I know, you know,

11:09

because I know that I don't just all

11:11

stick together. Tyler's my

11:13

dad doesn't want to dance. He

11:15

knows my dancer friends are going to be there. He's going to be embarrassed.

11:19

Okay, what do you do with your dad? Oh

11:21

my gosh, we go hunting. We go hiking,

11:24

fishing. We ride motorcycles. Okay.

11:28

So I sit on that. I wait

11:30

till the end of the meeting. And I

11:32

go if we were to create some ideas, my couples

11:34

are required to come up with three ideas that

11:37

nobody's ever seen in the wedding. And I have no idea

11:39

what those are until

11:42

we create them together. And

11:45

I said, Tyler, just in Tyler's mom was sitting at

11:48

my dining room table and we were discussing ideas,

11:50

we're just brainstorming. And I said,

11:52

you know, we're, you're getting married at that, that red

11:54

bar now in Greer. Having

11:56

the ceremony outside. What

11:58

if your dad walks back? back. We

12:01

pulled the barn door closed to represent

12:04

you with the opening. But

12:06

you guys jumped on his Harley and

12:09

drove out of the barn to the

12:11

back of the ceremony. It's on dirt,

12:13

so we put a piece of wood down. He could put

12:15

the kickstand on it. It would be safe. It wouldn't fall

12:17

over the dirt. And her

12:19

eyes lit up and mom was like, oh no,

12:21

no, no, no, no. And I'm like, just

12:24

brainstorm, just talking ideas. I'll

12:27

tell you, when that motorcycle

12:29

started, the

12:31

crowd went nuts. They're like, yep,

12:33

that's him. That's dad. When

12:36

he walks Tyler down the aisle, I've

12:38

not seen a more proud father walk

12:41

a daughter down the aisle. As

12:44

soon as he shut off the motorcycle, the crowd

12:46

cheers. I fist bumped my buddy

12:48

Greg, who's my sound man DJ, sound

12:51

tech. And I'm like, we just started

12:53

the party. That's it. That made it not

12:56

a corporate organized, efficient

12:58

event. That vulnerability,

13:00

learning about dad and his situation

13:03

made it their family event. And

13:05

then when when I went to dance with his daughter,

13:07

he's like, I know

13:10

I only have to do this for 60 seconds. But

13:12

he was still glowing in that moment of walking her down

13:15

the aisle. He wasn't thinking about all the dancers in the

13:17

room. And I'm like, dude, a

13:19

parent dance has nothing to do with dancing. I'm

13:21

a dance teacher. It's about

13:23

a child honoring their

13:25

parents for three minutes. If

13:28

you play catch with your dad, dance

13:30

with them for 30 seconds to get that Father's

13:33

Day picture for Facebook or your profile. But

13:35

then you'll grab a football and just play

13:37

catch with a football like do your thing.

13:41

And then afterwards, the MC can

13:43

go, this is why they did that. But you know what

13:45

half the room is going to know that relationship.

13:48

It's the other family that you have to bring

13:50

along and go, what we didn't tell

13:53

you was that's how they spend time

13:55

together. And that's why this was so meaningful.

13:57

So it can never be a stick that they've seen

13:59

it as another wedding. And if it is, we

14:02

go, how do we make it yours? Because I don't want

14:04

to do that. So I'm listening

14:06

to the story. And you haven't, I

14:08

don't remember you sharing that one before.

14:10

But I think, again, I

14:12

don't want our listeners to be disoriented

14:14

here. So Paul does a lot of

14:17

different things. One of the things he started to grow

14:19

from on the side is just out

14:21

of listening to the request for what he could do.

14:23

So he's teaching dancing at the university.

14:25

And then they're like, Hey, can you help us with

14:28

our wedding and the business grows. And then I think

14:30

we all go through this arc where we kind of see like,

14:32

what are the established big boys

14:35

players doing? And we see what they're

14:37

doing. We're like, there's got

14:39

to be a better way. And

14:41

they they're like a factory DJ where

14:43

you just go in and there's not

14:45

a high touch feeling. And that's

14:48

the way the market is. And then you say, I don't

14:50

want to do that. I want to do something more innovative. And

14:53

you're kind of, I guess the

14:55

term that you use, and if I call

14:57

correctly, was you're an entertainment

14:59

designer. Is that the term you use?

15:01

Yes. And I thought

15:03

at first, you know, full disclosure, when you first

15:05

told me that I'm like, Oh, here's another guy

15:08

with a high flute and title, like, you're not

15:10

a trash man, you're a sanitation engineer. You know,

15:12

it's like, you don't work in fast food,

15:15

you work in express dining. It's like, what? Come

15:17

on. Let's just be real

15:19

here. But actually, what Paul walked

15:21

me through his the way he thinks and

15:23

operates, I found a lot of connections and

15:25

parallels to how you may want

15:27

to have the conversation with your client. So it's

15:29

kind of weird. It's like art and life imitating

15:31

one another. So I'm out there teaching designers

15:34

how to have a different kind of conversation with

15:36

their clients. Paul applies this

15:38

in a different industry. And I'm like, that's

15:40

pretty cool. Let's take Paul's experience as a

15:42

person who works in weddings, as an entertainment

15:44

designer, let's bring that back to the world

15:47

of design again. So we're bouncing

15:49

back and forth and pulling. So as

15:51

an entertainment designer, you're

15:54

actually running what I would consider like

15:56

innovation workshops. Yeah, you're

15:58

edict of like, we must come up with three

16:01

ideas that you've never seen anyone

16:03

do before, who can never claim. And

16:05

so you free them from the dogma

16:07

or the traditions of this is how a waiting is

16:10

supposed to be structured and an act forward is going

16:12

to be like this, an act six and the cake

16:14

is cut and everybody goes home. And

16:16

you're like, let's break it open. And you give them

16:18

permission to celebrate and honor the people that matter the

16:20

most. So you started with a

16:22

lighthearted story. I'm

16:24

curious before we get into more of the strategies and

16:26

the things you've actually done is

16:29

do people come to you with the

16:31

expectation that this is Paul and you're

16:33

not going to get a traditional, you're

16:35

not going to have a templatized conversation. Do they

16:37

already know this going in or there's still a

16:40

little bit of like, let me try

16:42

to bring you to my world. Everybody

16:44

that's come to me is off balance. If

16:46

they've been to a wedding, they get

16:48

that I do something different, but

16:50

they're not quite sure what I do. When

16:54

you're in the room, you get it, but just

16:56

to explain it to like today, you

16:59

don't know until you feel it. And the stories I

17:01

told you had to do with a

17:03

father-son relationship or a grandpa relationship

17:05

because I thought you would connect

17:07

to that. The father-daughter

17:09

relationship may not connect as well.

17:13

So when they come in, I go

17:16

now, I'm going to be

17:18

three times more than any other DJ you talk to. And

17:21

I'm not here to sell you equipment packages. They

17:25

are going to sell you level one equipment, level

17:27

two equipment, level three equipment. And I don't even

17:30

know if you're going to meet the talent that

17:32

is going to be on the microphone representing

17:35

your family. I

17:38

had a girl two weeks ago said,

17:40

yeah, my brother's wedding last

17:42

August, they hired a

17:44

budget guy and he was

17:47

a self-professed comedian. So

17:49

he would tell all these jokes and the timing

17:52

and the rhythm was off, but he was always

17:54

on the mic trying to build

17:56

his standup career. And

17:58

we're like, please shut up. It's too late.

18:00

That is in the room that created that defensive

18:04

thing. And it's like, oh, he didn't

18:06

get audio or video of that person representing

18:09

your family on the microphone. I

18:11

showed my Sarah's wedding was a thorn blade. It's a

18:13

really nice country club. And I screwed up somebody's name.

18:16

And I went, hold on. Let me do that again. And

18:19

I was like, this is how I would will throw

18:21

up. But saving that is where we

18:23

become the hero. And here's one time when my best

18:25

friend Sarah, I would never screw that up in my

18:27

life. I scrolled up on my

18:30

iPad on my teleprompter and read the

18:32

wrong name. And everybody cheered and she went,

18:35

not me. And I'm like, I'll fix

18:37

it. Stand right here. I was like, I

18:39

screwed up. I'm going to take it up. And

18:42

being a teacher and failing in front of students, you

18:44

got this. You know, this happens. Some

18:46

people are scared to death about talking

18:48

in front of public. So

18:50

I've studied character study on

18:53

Michael Buble, how he builds

18:55

rapport in between the songs

18:57

that he sings and just

18:59

went to YouTube and did a study in search.

19:01

What does he say? How does he build

19:03

rapport? What does he do? Because that's

19:05

a little bit of knowledge that I want him to

19:08

represent. You say I got that Southern

19:10

charm. I want some Michael Buble slavness

19:13

to come through. So I've studied

19:15

a little bit of what he does. So

19:17

you're an entertainment designer. So people are coming

19:19

to you off balance, which I take as

19:21

they've had a bad experience. They're wondering, like,

19:23

something's funky or we heard some good things

19:25

about you. They might have been to another

19:27

wedding that you put on and they're like, Hey,

19:30

this is a little different. We got to look up

19:32

this guy and have a conversation. So

19:34

I asked that question because I want

19:37

everyone to know it's not like they're just lining up

19:39

and there's no effort that you have to do. You

19:41

still have to bring people on because you're asking them

19:43

to have a leap of faith to

19:45

do something out of the box. And people are

19:47

very much regulated by routine.

19:50

And so here you are. You're like, Hey,

19:52

we have some rules. I'm three times more expensive,

19:54

which is a classic. Just letting

19:56

you know up front that it's going to be more. Let's

19:59

just pause. there. Let's just talk about that. When

20:01

did you adopt this strategy and what are the

20:03

kind of responses that you get? And sometimes people

20:05

don't have that kind of money. What do you

20:08

do? Well, there was an ongoing philosophy

20:11

in the industry. Just raise your price. Just

20:14

raise your price. Just do it. And I'm

20:16

like, listen to you. And you're

20:18

like, add value. And obviously

20:21

raise your price, but back

20:23

that up. I have no problem now

20:25

going on three times the price because they lean

20:27

in and listen. Whereas before it

20:30

was like, I wasn't confident that I had

20:32

the skills. I wasn't confident that I could

20:34

do this for every couple. What if I

20:36

get a rip? I went to my

20:39

buddy flew me into Chicago to help a

20:41

couple because he had an instance where he

20:43

couldn't help Haley.

20:46

And Haley's a hairdresser for the

20:48

industry. He serves

20:50

all the sexy people and you don't screw up

20:52

a vendor's wedding. And he's like, Paul,

20:54

I can't help her. And

20:56

this is two weeks before. I'm

20:58

like, I usually have nine to 12 months

21:01

with my couple. What if we need

21:03

to get somebody

21:05

in a recording studio to sing a song

21:07

to their mom? I

21:09

don't have that time with Haley. How do I serve her?

21:12

So I went through all his planning sheets, all his question,

21:14

all his discovery and Eric and I have been working together

21:17

building this idea and trying to grow a small

21:19

network of people that do this. And there's only

21:21

about 10 of us now that really take on

21:23

this entertainment design

21:26

idea and process. And

21:29

I call Haley's dad the Wednesday

21:31

before. I hear you're

21:33

flying in from South Carolina. I'm so thankful. I was

21:35

like, Eric, what's supposed to tell you that I

21:38

didn't want to make you nervous. I'm coming in

21:40

a day before affects you when I land just

21:42

so you have peace of mind that I am

21:44

in state. I'm 30 minutes away. Oh,

21:47

not a big deal. Flights are great. Eric

21:51

said, and I know I got to go there and

21:53

represent and make Eric proud. I'm

21:55

talking to dad and what is that moment going to be?

21:58

Are you guys playful? You have a choreographer? Are

22:00

you sentimental? I'm going to cry like a

22:02

baby. That's my girl. I

22:04

said, are you okay with that? Because I don't

22:07

want to extend this moment if he gets angry when

22:09

he starts crying in front of 300 guests. That

22:13

is some dad's reactions. Oh, no,

22:15

I'm going to have tissues already in my pocket. I already got

22:17

that figured out. Cool. So

22:19

I can lean into that moment with

22:21

silence and

22:24

just let them have a moment together on

22:26

the dance floor. And

22:28

it's a distillery, journeyman distillery. And

22:31

I say, just, you know, I've had

22:33

some people get a little happy at events

22:36

and want the microphone, maybe a little boisterous, a little

22:38

out of hand. Is there an

22:40

uncle or maybe a frat boy like that

22:42

that I need to be aware of? No,

22:44

no, we all, you know, we have parties like this

22:46

frequently. Everybody may have fun, but they don't

22:49

get out of hand. Cool. Because if they

22:51

do, I'm bringing them to you. Oh, yeah,

22:53

no problem. No problem. Dad, is there

22:55

anything else that I should maybe be aware

22:57

of? Any questions I'm not asking you have

22:59

concerns about the wedding ceremony? And

23:01

there was the longest strangest pause. And

23:04

he said, well, there's, there is

23:06

a thing. Wendy is my sister.

23:09

She threw Haley's bridal

23:11

shower. Aunt

23:13

Wendy's not going to be there. Okay,

23:17

is she okay? Yes.

23:20

But on Monday, her son

23:22

passed away. And she's got

23:24

to be at his funeral and hosting that two hours

23:27

away. I said, okay, of

23:29

all the families I've ever known, your

23:32

family, one needs to celebrate what they

23:34

need permission to celebrate. They

23:36

need to know Wendy's okay with

23:39

them celebrating two hours away.

23:41

If this is heavy in the mind of one

23:43

family. And I said, let's get Wendy

23:45

there. Not in person, but in

23:47

spirit. I

23:49

don't know what you mean. And I

23:51

said, well, I'm going

23:53

to text you a voicemail, Google voicemail. Doesn't

23:56

ring on my end. Wendy's going to call in. She's

23:59

going to leave us. speech and

24:01

after the bridesmaid speech, groomsman speech,

24:05

we're going to play a little recording for her. If she

24:07

would like to, that's how she would choose to participate.

24:11

He got a little confused, so Aunt Wendy calls me

24:13

three hours later. My

24:15

brother, what does he want

24:17

me to do? And I said, here's the idea. Oh,

24:21

I love it. I am busy right now. I

24:23

will leave you recording tonight. I said, I

24:25

just need it two hours before the ceremony.

24:29

So whenever, at your leisure, and

24:32

call as much as you want. I'll look

24:34

at the last recording first, because if you want

24:36

to do two or three takes, and it sets

24:38

in motion. This is

24:40

Wednesday. Wendy called

24:42

me on, I think, Friday. I

24:45

shadow Eric at another wedding

24:48

in the area just to get the local norms

24:51

and customs. So I don't be too,

24:53

I'm not too Southern in

24:55

the outskirts, you know, of Indiana. See

24:58

a voicemail pop up. I

25:00

said, Wendy did it. Like,

25:02

she just left one voicemail. So

25:06

we get done with that wedding, we go back to his place,

25:08

we sip it on suburban in the living room. I'm

25:10

like, hey, let's, let's hear what Aunt Wendy did. Aunt

25:13

Wendy knocked it out of the park. And I know you've heard the

25:15

audio. It's phenomenal. And

25:18

I was like, this is going to start, this is it.

25:20

This is the vulnerable moment that's going to start the party

25:22

and give permission. So the next day

25:24

we're in the room. He

25:26

knows, dad knows it. That's

25:28

it. Because I want

25:30

genuine emotion and surprise. I

25:33

tell the photographer and videographer, there's a

25:36

third speech that is not on the planner. They're

25:40

not in the room. So what I need you

25:42

to do is go at 45 degree angles and

25:44

get on Haley, take pictures, take video for reaction

25:47

is going to be one that somebody

25:49

needs to see and Haley will want for the rest

25:51

of her life. So I get the

25:54

video and the photographer set up. I

25:56

talked to my down tag. And

25:59

I said. I'm gonna introduce the

26:01

third person. I think we have somebody else that's gonna give a

26:03

speech. Where are they? They're somewhere in the

26:06

room. Can you point them out? I'll take the mic over to

26:08

them. And then I just found

26:10

my head because the focus is still on me. And

26:12

I said, give me a three count and

26:15

then hit play. And

26:17

within five seconds, Haley was

26:19

in tears. All the bridesmaids had gathered around

26:21

her. In 30 seconds,

26:24

Wendy gave that room permission

26:27

to celebrate that day. And

26:29

I left a long pause after she spoke

26:32

because there's nothing you can say to follow that up. Tonight

26:37

we celebrate in Wendy's arms.

26:40

We're gonna open the dance floor with a slow dance. And

26:42

I'm gonna ask you to grab a sweetheart, a loved one,

26:45

somebody at your table. Just put your arm

26:47

around them and come out here and let's all

26:49

start the night with a slow dance. And

26:52

I showed you a picture of 10, eight,

26:55

10 people, whole table, just

26:57

arms around each other, swaying back and

26:59

forth, eyes closed. It

27:02

felt amazing. Of the 300

27:04

people, probably 280 got up and started dancing. I

27:10

took a quick picture of what I said to you. I

27:13

texted aunt Wendy and

27:16

said, tonight we open the floor in your

27:18

honor. You did this. I know

27:20

you're not here, but you're here in

27:22

spirit. That felt amazing,

27:24

giving that gift to that family. I

27:27

walked over to a DJ of 35 years.

27:32

He said, I didn't

27:35

understand why Eric had to fly you in. Now

27:38

I get it. I've never seen that. I

27:41

could beat on this bourbon barrel and these people are

27:43

ready to party. It doesn't matter what I play right

27:45

now, they're gonna celebrate. That

27:49

was amazing. I've done this 35 years. And

27:52

I said, to be honest with you, I've only been doing it

27:54

five years and I've never done that. That

27:57

was dad's gift, a moment

27:59

of vulnerability. honesty and

28:01

you take the tools that you know

28:03

and craft something for

28:05

them, you facilitate it. Again,

28:08

it wasn't about me. It's

28:11

not about me having a spotlight. It's where do you

28:13

shine it? All the important people in the room. You're

28:16

serving the bride whose

28:19

best friend throws the bridal shower. And

28:22

that's become one of my favorite

28:24

stories to share because so many elements

28:27

of design came in. Wednesday

28:29

to Saturday, there was no time. There's a

28:31

constraint on that. And

28:33

I've heard you say, man, give me some

28:35

constraints. That's what makes it even better. Limit

28:38

my abilities. I have to be more creative. And

28:41

there were absolutely three other things that we did

28:43

that night. But I think for that

28:45

family in that moment, that's the highest way I've

28:47

concerned them. I want to ask

28:49

you this question, Paul. It's beautiful stories,

28:51

very touching. What are the lessons

28:53

that take away moments for you reflecting back on

28:56

that? How do you draw the

28:58

lessons from that story? What would you do?

29:00

How would you advise other people if they

29:02

want to create a memorable experience? Listen,

29:04

I listened to dad. I left

29:07

space. It was more

29:09

about the silence than the questions.

29:11

Honestly, you've always been in our

29:14

industry. What's the why behind

29:16

that? Go a little deeper. What's

29:18

the why? And a lot of the times I

29:20

start with the group. What's the most important

29:22

thing to you? Because this voice has not

29:24

been heard. And when somebody

29:26

makes them sit in silence and go, I just

29:29

want my friends to dance. Oh, do you dance?

29:32

No. Okay, so if your friends are

29:34

going to do that, what else are we

29:36

going to do? Your friends are important to you. Oh,

29:41

you spent your summers together. You guys roast each

29:43

other. I can use that. Okay,

29:45

let's move on. And then later on, I

29:47

go, when we introduce them,

29:50

since you have that relationship, what if we roast the

29:52

crap out of them? And we make fun of them

29:55

as they enter the room. We'll

29:57

bring you in first so you get

29:59

to watch. them. And

30:01

we'll do it in reverse of what is normal. So you get

30:03

to see them on the hot seat and

30:06

they're like, oh crap, I'm next. So

30:08

asking questions of discovery, silence

30:12

and listening. And

30:15

then I've had a lot

30:17

of tools at my disposal because of 25

30:19

years. My

30:21

buddy Greg used to travel with Princess

30:23

Cruise Lines. He's the stage production manager.

30:26

He's promoted now. He's beyond that. At

30:28

the Georgia Aquarium. They spend

30:30

millions of dollars in production. He's trained with Cirque

30:32

du Soleil. He's trained with Disney. So if they

30:34

go, we want it to snow during our first

30:37

dance. I'm like, you know, I can actually do

30:39

that. Like there's stuff you've seen in

30:41

Vegas that we can make happen. I mean, if there's

30:43

no budget. Paul wanted to fly

30:45

in on a helicopter from the Yorktown over to

30:47

the country club. And

30:49

I'm like, you know, what FAA says I can't

30:52

do it in two weeks. The country club said

30:54

the exhaust would burn their grass. We

30:56

can't put a platform there, but I did check

30:58

on it. So

31:02

you just make a couple of calls and go,

31:04

I know this is a pipe. This

31:06

is a what if this is a movie scenario, but what

31:08

if we low budget can we make it

31:10

happen? So those are the tools I've just leaned

31:13

into. And again, having constraints, not

31:15

knowing what I can do for people makes

31:18

it way more interesting. It's

31:20

not a repeatable thing. It is

31:23

a design and you need, like you said, when you

31:25

experiment, you need that latitude and that extra budget to

31:27

go. Okay,

31:29

that's idea number five. But man, it

31:32

just got better. Now it's idea number one.

31:34

It zoomed up the charts to something we

31:36

added. Some new information came in.

31:39

And it's great when they leave their wedding and go, oh, we

31:41

have so many other ideas we didn't have time for. Yeah,

31:44

what a great party that you

31:46

didn't do all the entertainment. Because

31:49

we picked the three best things to do

31:52

and everybody stays there till the end. Where dancers

31:54

are non-dancers, right? Your

31:57

parents' friends that are in

31:59

their 40s, 50s. Like how

32:01

do they celebrate? There's a couple of

32:03

things that you said I would like to contextualize

32:06

and frame for our audience in

32:08

the kind of maybe the language they're familiar with. The

32:11

first thing I heard in the story with Haley

32:14

and Aunt Wendy and the dad

32:16

was, you didn't have a lot of time,

32:18

so you have to be creative. So the constraints

32:20

are like, what can we do? We can't do big

32:22

productions. And you went through your

32:25

usual line of questions and you thought we've covered the

32:27

basis. We put the father at ease. And

32:30

then you asked the killer question is, is there something

32:32

I should have asked you that I didn't? Is there

32:34

something else you're concerned about? And

32:37

you gave a ton of time for them to figure it out. And

32:39

the clue to all of us is the body

32:41

language, the silence is actually a huge clue to

32:44

say like, there's more here. Just give

32:46

a person space. And if

32:48

you're patient, they will reveal something. And

32:50

it's heavy on his heart, but he didn't know if this was the time

32:52

or place to speak it. So a

32:54

lot of times when we're working with our clients, we're

32:57

too involved with running the show that we don't

32:59

actually take a moment to pause and say, from

33:01

their point of view, is there something else they wanted to

33:03

talk about that we didn't give them space to? And

33:07

that's where your gold came from. You

33:09

do what Brian Collins, the

33:11

well respected and the

33:13

top tier shelf kind of designer legend

33:16

that he is, in every

33:18

problem, you must find the hidden dragon. He

33:20

often references Beowulf and Grendel and Grendel's mom.

33:22

And there's always a bigger problem underneath the

33:24

problem. So when you solve one thing, there's

33:26

actually another thing and you have to get

33:28

to the heart of the matter. And

33:31

what was heavy on his heart was I

33:33

lost my nephew, right? His sister's

33:35

son passed while he's conflicted.

33:39

And he's in a world of emotions, mixed emotions. And

33:42

you did what you're supposed to do as a

33:44

service provider, which is to serve. And

33:47

I like your general philosophy on this, which is

33:49

so many of us want to run

33:51

to be the stage on the stage.

33:54

You are like happy to be the guide

33:56

on the side just to make sure you're

33:58

navigating the emotions and telling the story. giving

34:00

people permission to celebrate, because

34:02

the ones that knew were probably heavy

34:04

on their heart. It's hard to celebrate when you know

34:06

someone else is in deep grief. And

34:09

to ask Antwendy for the

34:12

generous act of celebrating this thing while

34:14

she's mourning herself, and it's such

34:16

a beautiful thing, and using all the tools of the trade,

34:19

creating the suspense, the drama, and

34:22

then releasing that into the audience, and then giving

34:24

them something to do with their emotions. I think

34:26

you do that really well, probably better than anybody

34:29

that I've spoken to. Because a lot

34:31

of people would create that moment, and everybody's feeling it. And

34:33

then you say, why don't we just do this, if you guys

34:35

can just stand up and hold each other, and

34:37

we're going to just move through this, and we're going to have a

34:40

great time. So you gave them action to take, and

34:42

I thought that was really beautiful. Did I miss anything

34:44

there, Paul? No. One of

34:47

my tools is as a teacher, and

34:49

you've been in a room with students. You

34:52

know when students are ready to learn. I

34:54

know when students are nervous, and they need

34:56

a story, a laughable moment, to

35:00

we learn better when we're happy, when we get frustrated

35:03

and confused, we don't learn.

35:06

Same thing happens at weddings. When people are frustrated

35:08

or confused, they don't have fun. When

35:11

dad shows vulnerability and speaks to

35:13

his children, that's a tone in

35:15

the room. And I'll ask

35:17

them, when your DJ reads the room, what does he do? Everybody's

35:20

dancing to 80s music, so they play more

35:22

80s. What

35:24

does he mean by read the room? Because I know

35:27

when your family's ready to celebrate, and

35:29

when we need to do the next thing. I

35:31

can tell you, if dad's going to give a

35:33

tear-jerking sentimental speech, we can't do

35:35

a playful thing after that. We

35:37

need the groomsman, who is

35:40

a comedian, we need him to

35:42

do the last speech leading into this next thing.

35:44

It's a flow. It's an emotional flow in a

35:46

vibe. I don't care about tradition.

35:49

If there's a tear-jerker, or if he's going to

35:51

create a sentimental moment, maybe we

35:54

go into the father-daughter dance after that. Or

35:56

we move things around to fit the day.

36:00

permission to mess with the timeline. I'm like, you're going to

36:02

show up at a time, you have to be out of

36:04

the time and food that you're spending a ton of money

36:06

on has about a 15 minute window that needs to be

36:08

served in. But sit back and enjoy your party.

36:11

If we need to readjust things, I'll

36:14

tell the people that need to participate.

36:16

Hey, we're going to do this thing now because that's what the

36:19

family is ready for. Have you

36:21

been to your spouse's Christmas

36:23

or Thanksgiving? How is that family weird?

36:26

How do they celebrate? What's different about

36:28

their events? Oh, you know, when I went to the

36:30

first Christmas, dad wrote Suess

36:32

poems. And he would

36:34

work on these for three months and we'd hide

36:37

clues around the room and we all would do

36:39

that. What if we do that at your wedding? What

36:41

if we share that tradition

36:43

with your family, and

36:45

then you guys adopt it going

36:47

forward? That was one of the most

36:49

fun things we've ever done. So there's

36:52

endless ideas pop up. And first,

36:54

you're kind of nervous how

36:57

to be creative. But when you you listen,

36:59

sometimes the things just they come to you.

37:02

It's been so much fun. Creating

37:04

this for people. It's time for

37:06

a quick break, but we'll be right back. Tonight

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the feature.com/pro. And

38:12

Rebecca, welcome back to our conversation. I

38:16

like the kinds of questions that you ask

38:19

to get them to think about how to honor

38:22

somebody that might have passed, somebody that's

38:24

important to them or to bridge

38:26

two families together because the groom and the

38:28

bride, they know each other well, but the

38:30

family may not, or the extended family surely

38:32

doesn't. And to bring in

38:34

cross pollinate traditions and to introduce some

38:36

of the quirkiness of one family that

38:38

makes it so memorable. And you're

38:40

giving them all this kind of

38:42

permission to like let go of

38:45

all these tropes and these

38:48

traditions, if you will, and allow them

38:50

to do something and to really create

38:52

a truly memorable experience that is

38:54

one of a kind. And when we think

38:56

about people in our service space, whether you're producing

38:59

a video, I think a video, the parallels

39:01

are very close here. You're telling

39:03

a story. Are

39:05

you going through the mechanical parts? Like we open on this

39:07

shot, we go wide, we do a

39:09

two, three camera setup, and then we're in,

39:12

we're out, we deliver the video. Or are

39:14

you trying to surface something that's meaning that's

39:16

going to resonate with the audience? In this

39:18

case, the audience is everybody, the 300 participants

39:21

in the celebration. And you're making

39:23

it special, memorable to the CEO. That could be

39:25

grandma or grandpa and the client who

39:27

buys this, the chief marketing officer, which I guess is

39:29

the bride and the groom. You're servicing

39:31

and hitting all people. And so you have

39:33

a high probability of delivering something that just

39:36

totally knocks it out of the park. Can

39:39

you tell us another instance, another story, and share something

39:41

with us so that we can learn from that as

39:43

well? Sure, I'll tell you the one that

39:45

I shared with you last August. So my

39:47

buddy Michael from fourth grade, he used to

39:49

come over just because I had a pony

39:51

and we'd ride horses together. And

39:54

I helped with his daughter's, first daughter's wedding, he's got

39:56

three daughters, four or five years ago. And

39:59

he brought me. to Missouri from South Carolina.

40:01

And I was like, every daughter's

40:03

wedding, if you have me will be different. And

40:05

you know, he just trusts me, okay, come do what you

40:08

do. I like your posts online, I think it's gonna be

40:10

great. And so

40:12

the second daughter gets married and I'm gathering

40:14

my information, I call him and I was

40:16

like, all right, who's her best buddy in

40:19

the family? Oh, it's my dad, grandpa

40:22

Sam. And he

40:24

would take lollipop lollipop, oh,

40:27

oh, and he would say Lily

40:29

Brooke. And

40:31

so in kindergarten, the teacher would

40:34

finish the class and play music

40:36

for all the students. And

40:38

one day he plays this song, and

40:41

Lily just gets crazy. They

40:43

stole my grandpa's song. And

40:47

he's like, what? What are you talking

40:49

about? Get some of his laughs. She's

40:51

sniffled. It's Lily Brooke, Lily Brooke. So

40:53

the rest of the year, they've got

40:56

to sing Lily Brooke. So

40:58

I said, Oh my God, I know

41:00

your your mom is ill. And your

41:03

dad or grandpa Sam may not make it to the

41:05

wedding. When are you gonna just

41:07

see dad? Oh, probably in two weeks. I was

41:09

like, cool. Take your phone, set it

41:11

up on the shelf, hit record, walk out of the room

41:14

and go, Dad, there's

41:16

Lily. You're at the

41:18

wedding, sing to her. I said, I don't know if we'll

41:20

use the video. I don't know if we use the audio.

41:22

Maybe he'll be there. A month

41:24

later, he sends me the video. The audio is

41:27

amazing. Sam was able to

41:29

make it. So we

41:31

didn't know if he would be or not. So

41:33

I said, here's how we're gonna play this. We're

41:35

gonna do the parent dances. And then

41:38

we're gonna go we have one more very, very

41:40

special day. And Lily, I

41:42

know somebody that means the world to you. Grandpa

41:44

Sam is asking you for the next dance. And

41:47

then we just played her

41:49

head buried in the grandpa Sam's

41:51

chest and Sam just glowed. I

41:54

didn't want him singing in that moment because I thought

41:56

he might get choked up. I didn't know, you know,

41:58

live performance how that might go. So

42:00

we played the recorded version. It

42:03

was maybe 30 seconds long. And

42:05

then I explain, I tell everybody the story, the

42:07

kindergarten story. And then

42:09

I go, Sam, what the best part, I saw it

42:11

on video and the best part was you making that

42:13

sound. How do you do that? And

42:15

he pops and then all around the room,

42:18

I'm like, they start doing this. And I'm

42:20

like, Hey, guys, you just had dinner. You really want to

42:22

put your fingers in your mouth right now. They're

42:24

like, Oh, yeah. So just that

42:26

playful observing what's going on in the room. And

42:29

I was like, what if

42:31

we play, can we play that song

42:33

again? But this time, let's

42:36

all join in now that we know the words and we'll sing

42:38

the song to her. And she

42:40

was like, heck yeah. So

42:42

we played the song, we segued

42:44

out of that into lollipop.

42:47

And that started the dance floor. I didn't even have to say

42:49

welcome everybody to the dance floor. Dance floor's open.

42:52

That started the party. I

42:54

walk over to my sound tech. The

42:57

groom follows me. He

43:00

doesn't know what we do. We didn't start

43:02

dancing. We didn't start doing DJ stuff

43:04

yet. And he

43:06

goes, now I get it.

43:09

I was like, can you tell him that he's

43:11

here shadowing me. He's never worked with me before. Yeah,

43:14

he told me he did all this stuff. And

43:16

he would make bars unique. And you just made

43:18

my wife so proud. That was

43:21

amazing. Thank you. And

43:23

then they just dance. And again, we had

43:25

other things in the room. But

43:27

that was to me, the

43:29

story that resonated. And

43:32

when grandpa Sam is gone, she

43:34

will always have that audio recording of

43:37

grandpa seeing show the video to

43:39

have wedding pictures, video from the

43:42

wedding. And

43:44

to me, if I can give a family that

43:46

gift, does it matter

43:48

what you charge? It was

43:50

worth it. And Michael's teased me that

43:52

the next daughter is getting married to Chateau and

43:54

France. So we'll see. You're going

43:57

to have to keep. one-upping

44:00

this. Oh, I love

44:02

the challenge of it, but

44:04

also I vent like you. I vent my families,

44:07

I vent my couples, and see are we a right

44:09

fit? If you're just trying

44:12

to recreate kind of a drunken nightclub scene, you

44:14

can spend way less and get into the bathroom. This

44:17

is way different. I'm asking you to let me have

44:20

control of your timeline. I'm

44:22

asking you to let me do secret

44:24

surprises maybe for you, maybe

44:26

with you, but

44:28

they will either be amazing or I

44:31

don't do them. If I have questions, then

44:34

we don't do that. It's

44:37

going to be amazing. At the end of the

44:39

day, half of the fee

44:41

you pay me is on the

44:43

line. If

44:45

you're not happy, you go, I don't owe you that money.

44:47

I said, I've never paid a dime back. It's

44:50

going to be better. I know that adrenaline is running

44:52

that day. They're going to have the best time

44:54

of their life anyway. But

44:56

when you add these things and they're better than

44:58

what you promise, it just blows their mind. The

45:02

only problem is I work with a lot of introverts

45:05

and they don't tell the story. The

45:07

word of mouth is so limited. Then how

45:09

do you tell that story? You get on a

45:12

podcast and you tell that story, Paul. That's

45:14

what you do. The question I have for you as I'm

45:16

listening to the story is when you're

45:18

talking about playing the song and then

45:20

inviting everyone to do the same thing,

45:23

is that an audible that you're calling on

45:25

the spot or you knew this is what

45:27

we're going to do and then you can

45:29

cue the DJ to then transition into the

45:31

real song? How much of this

45:33

is premeditated versus this is you thinking on

45:35

your feet? All of that was premeditated. I

45:38

knew it was a short segment. I wanted

45:40

to let them hear the original because there's younger

45:42

people in the room. I didn't know if they

45:44

knew the song. I

45:47

wanted the audience to join Grandpa

45:49

Sam to make him proud. I

45:52

wanted them to feel and participate. We

45:54

know sitting at a table during

45:57

dinner, I call it pre-group. But

46:00

I have music that makes everybody want to dance,

46:02

but it's not a danceable song. So they start

46:04

moving, they start tapping, they get fidgety there. I

46:06

build that frustration. So when I say the dance

46:09

floor is open, they're like, I don't know why,

46:11

but I have to go dance. They're

46:13

asking to clap their hands, asking to

46:15

raise. Every little bigger movement is asking

46:18

for a little bit more participation. If

46:21

you build that frustration with an audible,

46:24

now we're all singing. We don't sing

46:26

karaoke, but we're doing it to

46:28

serve grandpa Sam. We're doing it to serve

46:30

the couple. When you

46:32

sing happy birthday, everybody sings. So

46:35

I knew asking for a little more,

46:37

a little more, a little more buy-in. When I

46:40

said, you're already in here, you're already

46:42

singing, what's one more step? Just shaking

46:44

your butt and acting a little goofy dance. So

46:47

absolutely premeditated. The photographer, videographer

46:49

knew exactly where the action was

46:52

going to be and how to capture it. This is

46:54

kind of important to know. So now

46:56

that I know it's premeditated, is you're

46:58

sitting there designing the entertainment, the arcs,

47:00

the motion, the story, and the engagement

47:02

and the participation. Are

47:05

you doing this by yourself? What's the creative process

47:07

like when you're like, okay, we now have this

47:09

recording, they're gonna do this. How

47:13

do you come up with the idea,

47:15

like let's invite the audience to do this and then let's

47:17

transition to that. And then we're gonna get into the DJ

47:19

set. It's just years of

47:22

experience, intuition, you kicking around with some people and

47:24

like, yeah, yeah, let's do that. And then let's

47:26

do this. I'm a magician. I

47:29

don't know. I tell them, I'll sit on

47:31

this and between

47:33

three and six weeks, the

47:35

pieces will fall together. I don't

47:37

know what, when, how, why. I

47:40

remember one day I was driving down

47:42

the street and we were doing something with a

47:44

wine box presentation and my buddies Leonard wanted to

47:47

do this. They don't drink.

47:49

And I'm driving to meet another couple. I'm

47:52

driving to meet Drew and talk about his wedding. And

47:54

I'm going downtown in my main street in my town.

47:56

And I go, oh my gosh, Leonard. Leonard.

48:00

I call Leonard, I'm like,

48:02

your box is a fishing tackle box. And he's like, of course it is.

48:05

Yes, it is. You're right. I'll get

48:07

on that. And I was

48:09

like, but he's a handyman. So he had it done like within

48:11

the end of the week. So got a decent

48:13

looking tackle box, paid it all wedding

48:16

white. And he's like,

48:18

I'm going to get on that. And

48:21

I'm like, I'm going to get on that. And

48:24

I'm like, I'm going to get on that.

48:26

Decent looking tackle box, paid it all wedding

48:28

white. And we put notes

48:31

in it, locked it up from

48:33

the wedding. So on their fifth anniversary, they

48:36

could open the tackle box, go out

48:38

on a boat, open the tackle box and read

48:40

these notes. Well it's

48:42

just whatever five years later. And

48:46

often, I mean, even a good consultant

48:48

waits, right? So sometimes you know it on the spot,

48:51

but it's a big idea and they need time

48:53

to trust you to come

48:55

around to riding a motorcycle with a wedding dress. How

48:57

do we do that? So I've learned over time, not

48:59

to like hit him in the face right off the

49:01

bat, like, let's build up to the big idea.

49:05

You're in a space where in theory, in

49:08

many cases, not all cases, obviously, there's

49:10

a lot of planning, booking a venue

49:13

and hiring lots of services and vendors.

49:15

So there's, and it's like, in theory,

49:17

if it's done right, you only get married one

49:19

time. It's a big decision. And

49:21

there's a lot riding on this in terms of

49:23

not just your experience, but for your guests, which

49:25

is probably even more important than your experience. You're

49:29

getting commitment upfront. You're asking

49:31

for permission. You're charging

49:35

exponentially more than the next person.

49:37

So at some point, they are explicitly

49:40

giving you permission, like, we trust you,

49:42

man. This is all on you at this

49:44

point, because the idea of some

49:46

surprises sounds pretty cool. Secret surprises.

49:49

It might be on you. It might be for you. We

49:51

don't know. And you're going to have

49:53

to trust me in six or so many months. It

49:56

all comes together. And some parts you'll know about it, and some parts

49:58

you won't. And that's the beauty of what I do. it is that

50:01

you do. And so they buy in on

50:03

that. Where do

50:05

you find resistance in this? And

50:07

how do you get them over that? Or is it immediate like

50:09

this is not going to work? There's really not

50:12

a lot of like interest in

50:14

me trying to figure this out. I'm

50:16

pretty upfront about how I'm different and

50:18

just ask the questions. I talked with

50:20

a couple last night and they really

50:22

wanted a dance part and

50:25

talk about music and can you can you play

50:27

30 seconds and then go into another song and

50:29

then 30 seconds and then go to

50:31

another song. And I was like, you've

50:33

talked to a club DJ. And that works amazingly well

50:35

at a club. I

50:38

think it frustrates families at weddings. I'm

50:40

gonna be straight up honest with you. If that's what you need,

50:42

you think that's important, you probably should go

50:44

with that. I don't like

50:47

the same beat droning on for 20

50:49

minutes while you cut

50:51

in all these different songs. That

50:53

is a personal preference. But if that's what you want, yeah, we

50:55

can do that. But

50:57

we're also going to read the room and I know

51:00

after 10 minutes, they're gonna

51:02

start walking off the floor like, when

51:04

do I take a break? Like when

51:06

do I grab a beverage? Like, I

51:08

haven't had that, that moment to

51:11

just gather myself and not

51:13

talk about music. So sometimes

51:16

I've told a story during class at

51:18

Clemson and two or three years later,

51:20

they go, that resonated. Let's talk

51:22

about what you do. And then that

51:25

opens the door to yeah, definitely different.

51:28

You know, I've had one of my former

51:31

TA's teetered around

51:33

six months going I don't know, I don't

51:35

know. And I'm like, I'm not pressured. You

51:38

can have that thing. And then she went

51:40

to another wedding and was like, okay, I'm done.

51:42

I'm hiring you. Because when

51:45

couples get engaged, the first question, how many

51:47

weddings have you been to? How

51:50

many are you going to before you get married? And

51:53

I had Jennifer with me

51:56

mom, she was going I

51:58

think nine weddings. One was

52:00

her brother, she was in, and then hers was like

52:02

the 11th wedding of the year. And

52:04

I was like, you're going to

52:07

be the best at every wedding when

52:09

you see something wrong or that you

52:11

love, text me any time of day. I

52:13

want written notes. Don't like this,

52:16

like that. I will promise you, if any of

52:18

that stuff happens, you get your money back. It

52:20

will not happen under my walk. And

52:24

that insight into what she

52:26

liked and how to serve her was

52:29

so informative. And it also told

52:31

me a lot of people on

52:33

the mic are not there

52:35

to steal the show. They're there to do shtick. They're

52:39

doing those fill in the blank weddings. The

52:42

couples didn't know, you know, switching the

52:45

speeches, order of that

52:48

creates that flow and that vibe that you

52:50

know you want, or it

52:52

creates some friction. And it's like,

52:54

we don't know what's wrong in the room, but man,

52:57

what if you flip the intros for the bride

52:59

and groom versus the bridal part? Could

53:02

we do something with that? Are

53:04

you okay with that? You

53:07

don't want to throw the guard. Well, if you

53:09

heard the story of why the garter tradition was

53:11

there, you would hate it too. But

53:14

you guys are Clemson football fans. What

53:18

if I get a football signed by Davos Leaning? Oh

53:21

my gosh, Kelly can launch a football. Brent,

53:25

why don't you hike it to her? She'll

53:27

take two or three steps back. We'll put the garter

53:29

around anybody that wants to catch a football

53:32

signed by Davos Sweeney with the garter, get

53:35

on that end of the room. It wasn't single men.

53:37

It was everybody in the room. There were ladies, kids,

53:39

everybody was down there. He launched

53:41

it. She launched it the length of

53:44

the, uh, the room and

53:46

it was awesome. And the person that got the

53:48

football was like, holy moly, I can't believe that

53:50

a football signed by Davos Sweeney. So

53:53

the three ideas has to be

53:56

personal, entertaining, and

53:59

adding. emotion. So it's not,

54:02

I don't come up with any of it. I take the stuff

54:04

they've given me and go, is an audience going to like this?

54:06

How do we make it entertaining? And that

54:08

informs what we might do. It

54:11

created a person who's going to hear this like, Oh,

54:13

you know, they're going to make a thousand reasons why

54:15

they can't do this. Or Paul's got this working for

54:17

him or whatever it is, or they don't have something

54:19

that you have. What I'm trying

54:21

to get into is when

54:24

you need a prospect, let's just call them a

54:26

prospect. Sometimes they're your former students or whatever it

54:28

is, there's

54:30

going to be some resistance to price, to

54:32

structure, to trust, to style, whatever

54:34

it is. The first thing I

54:36

heard you say was, you know what? I'm

54:39

okay not being your guy. So

54:41

you're practicing like, you know what? I'm

54:43

detached from the outcome of this conversation,

54:45

which gives you a strength and authority

54:47

and confidence that I wish more people

54:49

would just exercise. I'm okay with this

54:51

being whoever you want. Next

54:54

is you use the old retreat and follow

54:57

concept from Mr. Blair ends. You

54:59

say, you know, I'm going to be three times as much. It

55:01

may not be right for you. And if you want that, you're

55:03

going to overpay me to do it. I'll

55:05

do it, but you're just going to overpay me to do it.

55:08

And the other thing that you said, and I like this is like you're

55:10

casting or you're the kids would say

55:13

you're throwing shade at what

55:15

other people do by using this term. And I just

55:17

wrote it down so that everybody can use it too.

55:20

Oh, if you just want to fill in the blank branding,

55:22

you just want to fill in the blank website. I'm

55:24

not your person. You've labeled

55:27

the enemy. The enemy in

55:29

this case is like tradition and templates and

55:31

cookie cutter weddings or ceremonies, or whatever it

55:33

is. And so you're asking them

55:35

to make a decision. You want something different. You

55:37

want something memorable. You want something that you're going to be able

55:39

to cherish for the rest of your life. I

55:42

do that, but it comes at a price. Now,

55:44

when you meet somebody that you don't think is a good fit, what

55:47

do you say to them? Say goodbye. I actually

55:49

direct into my, I have a Facebook group

55:52

page, heirloom entertainment.

55:55

And I say, you know what? The things I

55:57

would like to participate in, I post.

56:00

on there. I tell my couples to go there

56:02

and come up with ideas. Whether you use me or not,

56:05

I think those are some great ideas. Look

56:08

over that, see if that fits you. If you want to

56:11

use me or not, there's a bunch of ideas

56:13

and then let them self-select and sometimes they look

56:15

at an idea and go, well, I can do

56:17

that and maybe they

56:19

can and maybe the talent they hire just

56:22

bones it in and goes, well, this is the script

56:24

they gave me to read but

56:26

then they got to work with the camera. It will never

56:28

be as good. I mean, it's

56:31

the choice. Self-serve versus

56:34

I'm guaranteed the result and

56:38

when you let people try to figure it out

56:40

for themselves, sometimes they come back and

56:42

go, you know that thing where you're gonna put me in a

56:45

studio and I'm gonna sing a song for my bride from the

56:47

first dance? That's why

56:49

I'm hiring you. I want

56:51

you to present it in a way. I'm kind

56:54

of introverted. I don't want to steal the spotlight but

56:56

how would we present that? I'm like,

56:58

I got it. I've done it three times. Do

57:01

you want auto-tune? Do you want a

57:03

full-on? Our friend Edwin

57:05

has as a whole studio locally. We can get you

57:07

in there to do a

57:10

professional thing or I have

57:12

a free studio that we can use and my buddy

57:14

Frank, he does auto-tune and we can help you out.

57:17

There's a free-to-fee schedule on

57:19

that idea. I will do that with

57:22

a lot of the bigger ideas depending on

57:24

their budgets and how

57:26

much they want to lean into it. So

57:29

when they're not a good fit, you just send

57:31

them to your Facebook page which is heirloom entertainment

57:33

and their idea is you say use

57:35

any of it, use none of it. Do whatever you need to

57:38

do. I'm here to serve you and if

57:40

you can do it cheaper, if there's a self-serve

57:42

option that works better for you and you don't

57:45

want the full-service package for me, no problem, no

57:47

harm, no foul, go do your thing. So

57:49

you have the confidence and

57:52

the wherewithal to say, you know what? It's not

57:54

everybody's for me. It's totally okay. I

57:56

worked in those weddings in Charleston and

57:58

my soul would die. Because I'm

58:01

like, oh, you know, if those aunts had come up and

58:03

told me at the beginning

58:05

of the night that they do a sing along with

58:07

the groom, and that's a thing their family has always

58:09

done, we could have done that.

58:12

But they came up to me and I had three songs I could

58:14

play because that's what's on the fill-in sheet. And

58:17

I'm like, I'm sorry, we can't do that. That hurts

58:19

me. Why? I'm the sender.

58:22

I shouldn't care. But I would

58:24

see all these moments that were past and that gives

58:26

you the confidence to go, I don't want to be

58:28

there. I'd rather be home with my family. If

58:31

I can't serve in the highest and best, that

58:34

hurts your soul. And the guys I've introduced to this

58:36

that shadowed me go, what? There's

58:39

so much meaning behind it.

58:42

I never thought to do that. Because your mind

58:44

is in music and dancing and that's where

58:46

you've limited. But I will tell you the guys I connect

58:49

with, DJs that

58:51

have a daughter, they hit about mid-40s and

58:55

all of a sudden random

58:57

tears crop up moments of

58:59

pride, grief. You

59:01

get emotional, I didn't know that. There's

59:03

a young punk when you're just trying to

59:05

make girls dance around and dance more in a

59:07

club. You don't

59:09

think about a daughter or making another

59:12

father proud of the first

59:14

significant celebration his family's ever thrown.

59:17

So you're saying this DJ has reached a level of

59:19

maturity and they get involved in the

59:21

story and emotion, not so much like let's just

59:23

get people to jump around. Well,

59:26

you know what would be honest with you? They

59:28

get old and scared. I think they're not relevant. I

59:30

can't rock the house or they see

59:32

me getting gray hair and they think I can't rock

59:34

the house.

59:37

You know what? You're

59:39

behind this big old thing anyway. Nobody's

59:41

really watching you. But

59:44

if you frame the night that

59:46

everyone feels comfortable sober or not to

59:50

act goofy and to celebrate and

59:52

just play, they're going to dance. They

59:56

know this music. It's not like you're

59:59

pulling out obscures. I did do a Nigerian

1:00:01

wedding once because nobody else would do it.

1:00:05

They didn't want American music after we played an hour

1:00:08

of that. I had a scour. I'm like, I can't

1:00:10

be responsible for the lyrics because I don't

1:00:13

want to hear this. But it's

1:00:15

definitely a different thought process. I have so

1:00:17

much to owe to your

1:00:20

guidance and just that translating,

1:00:23

how would I apply this to this

1:00:26

business? I've got a couple businesses. And I

1:00:28

do have a full-time job. So I didn't

1:00:30

have to rely on this. I

1:00:33

need to sell this next wedding to

1:00:35

feed my family. That is

1:00:37

a thing. People

1:00:40

have to create numbers and they're proud

1:00:42

in the industry. I booked 100 weddings

1:00:44

last year. You know what? I'm

1:00:46

happy with 10 or 20 meaningful weekends away

1:00:49

from my family that

1:00:51

also allow me enough to

1:00:56

give my family a first-class experience

1:00:58

the following weekend. I'll

1:01:00

go out to a five-star brunch on a Sunday

1:01:02

or a Saturday or whatever. We

1:01:05

go to Charleston and play for the

1:01:07

weekend. And it's the fun

1:01:09

money. I don't even count

1:01:12

that as our income. It's served

1:01:15

my family. One, the dad

1:01:17

that told me, you made

1:01:19

my family proud tonight, shook

1:01:22

my hand, handed me a

1:01:25

lot of money, went over

1:01:27

to my DJ, Greg, handed

1:01:29

him some money. And

1:01:32

we had done our three things. The dance floor had just

1:01:34

started. And they

1:01:36

were med students. They were gone for nine months.

1:01:38

I'd never really met the parents. Mom showed up

1:01:40

and was like, she says you have this. I

1:01:42

was like, yeah, you're going to have

1:01:44

a great time tonight. I

1:01:47

didn't know what she meant by that. But

1:01:49

she meant there's no wedding planner. This

1:01:51

is on you. This is on the DJ shoulders.

1:01:54

I look over at Greg and I said, how

1:01:56

much did he give me? And

1:01:58

he goes, And

1:02:00

200 is a very generous tip

1:02:03

in our industry because it's just not common.

1:02:05

Often we don't get tips. And

1:02:08

he said, if you, I don't

1:02:10

know, I'll go to the bathroom and tell

1:02:13

the wife whispering, I'm not there. I

1:02:18

walk in the bathroom and

1:02:21

I count $500. Some

1:02:24

DJs charge $700 to serve a family. And

1:02:29

before the dancing even started, that dad gave us

1:02:31

$700. Just

1:02:34

so happens the next day we were going to a Meals

1:02:37

on Wheels fundraiser event. We did

1:02:39

an auction. I bought a painting of

1:02:42

a jazz band, live painting. And

1:02:44

then over on the table was

1:02:47

four passes to Disney and

1:02:50

we bid it up to $500. So

1:02:53

I said, dad, thank you so

1:02:55

much for the tip. I

1:02:57

took it and I donated it to a good cause. And

1:03:01

you're giving my family the gift of Disney. And

1:03:04

we're going to go in six months. Thank

1:03:07

you so much for your generosity. Because

1:03:09

I wanted him to know the gift that he

1:03:11

served my family with and was so generous with

1:03:13

my family. Paul, you know

1:03:15

what I really appreciate in the things that you've

1:03:17

shared so far is that your

1:03:19

job here is to

1:03:22

listen, to dig, and to

1:03:24

find out those quirky traditions. Not the

1:03:26

traditional wedding, but the traditions

1:03:29

that each family has, the quirks and

1:03:31

the idiosyncratic things that they do to

1:03:33

make these things really wonderful

1:03:35

and memorable. And to honor those

1:03:37

celebrations and to tell the stories that need to be

1:03:40

told. And I think that is the

1:03:42

big thing that everybody here can listen to and

1:03:44

take away, which is when you're talking about

1:03:46

designing the brand or identity of a company,

1:03:49

what are their traditions? What makes them unique and different?

1:03:52

How do they celebrate differently? What

1:03:54

are the stories that need to be told? And if you

1:03:56

can encapsulate that in a brand story, you've done

1:03:58

the same thing. so

1:04:00

well is you've created not an

1:04:02

experience you've created memories for people and

1:04:05

there's no price tag that you can put on that. Those

1:04:08

memories will live with each guest and

1:04:11

it might live multiple generations about the thing that

1:04:13

happened at this wedding that you weren't alive for

1:04:15

that I'm going to tell you about now and

1:04:18

I think that's a wonderful gift that you're sharing with the world.

1:04:21

So another story you want to tell me? All of them.

1:04:25

Let's pick one. Let's pick one. The one

1:04:27

that stands out because I think sometimes when

1:04:29

we hear three stories we can

1:04:31

spot the pattern. It'll

1:04:34

be a little easier like okay I get it now. Maybe the

1:04:36

first two they're like wow this is pretty genius I don't know

1:04:38

how to do this. Okay the names

1:04:40

will come to me in in the middle of the

1:04:42

story and again often

1:04:44

it's one

1:04:46

of the couple has taken

1:04:48

my class built some report and the other

1:04:51

one is clug. So when

1:04:53

they come in and design sessions

1:04:55

this discovery is always try

1:04:58

to do at my kitchen table. Try to

1:05:00

have a meal. Tell them it's going to be 90

1:05:02

minutes or maybe three hours. I don't know. The first

1:05:05

initial meeting might be on zoom if they're

1:05:07

if they're not local. We've done everything on

1:05:09

zoom but they come in we start talking

1:05:11

just building a report and

1:05:13

start talking about how

1:05:16

we might help them and what the normal

1:05:18

wedding looks like and it says

1:05:20

what is the dance going to look like with your mom? Are

1:05:22

you a mama's boy? And

1:05:24

oh my gosh my

1:05:28

brother got married two years

1:05:30

ago and he danced to her favorite song. Bill Collins in

1:05:32

the Jungle Book. He already danced tonight.

1:05:35

I don't know what song I'm going to choose and

1:05:38

I said okay I

1:05:40

know right then. Got the answer for

1:05:42

it and we

1:05:44

have the meeting. I

1:05:46

circle back and I said

1:05:48

let's go back to this idea of you dancing with your mom. We

1:05:51

are going to play her favorite

1:05:53

song and we're going to play

1:05:55

her favorite version of that song. And

1:06:01

he's like, yeah, my brother

1:06:03

already did that. And

1:06:07

looks at me and I'm like, no, but she hasn't heard

1:06:09

her favorite version and neither have you. And

1:06:12

he looks at Julie and she's just

1:06:14

glowing ear to ear. And

1:06:17

he's like, do you know what

1:06:19

he's saying? She's like, no,

1:06:22

but it's going to be good. I

1:06:25

thought she knew the answer. I said,

1:06:28

OK, let's rewatch. You

1:06:30

told me the story of your first date. You

1:06:33

guys did a thing together. You

1:06:36

told me the first time you went to Myrtle Beach

1:06:38

and you guys walked in the ocean. You proposed. You

1:06:41

did a thing together. You

1:06:44

drove up here 90 minutes from Columbia today and

1:06:46

in the car on the way here, you did a

1:06:48

thing together. You were telling me as you came in

1:06:50

through the garage to sit right here. What?

1:06:54

You're a singer. When it gets you in a

1:06:56

studio and you're going to sing that song.

1:06:59

And every mother say you're going to do that to

1:07:01

her. And his reaction was my

1:07:04

brother. That's great. My brother's going to hate

1:07:06

me. This is so bad. He's got a

1:07:08

twin brother. So

1:07:12

maybe a month later, he comes over. We set up

1:07:14

a studio in our house. We do a little auto

1:07:16

tune. I present it at

1:07:19

the wedding and just say, mom, we're going to

1:07:21

play your favorite song. We know your son did

1:07:23

the Phil Collins version. But this is

1:07:25

going to be your favorite version. And even

1:07:27

he hasn't heard it. So I wouldn't let him

1:07:29

listen to his own work to over critique it

1:07:31

before the moment. I want him to be

1:07:33

all about his mom, not about. Did

1:07:36

this recording sound amazing? So I wouldn't let him listen to

1:07:38

it. And

1:07:41

mom was a little bit confused when she was caught

1:07:43

up in the moment. She's dancing with him for 30

1:07:45

seconds. I tell the photographer's word against the awkward to

1:07:47

get. She pulls away and goes. You

1:07:51

anything? She

1:07:54

buries her head. Her shoulders

1:07:56

start shaking. They are happy tears.

1:08:00

And I get done with the song.

1:08:02

I look over at the brother and I was like, I told you

1:08:04

I was going to get you. So

1:08:07

after they're done dancing, I go, mom, was

1:08:10

that your favorite version? And she's like, absolutely. And

1:08:13

I said, no, some people don't know who

1:08:15

the artist was that sang that. Would

1:08:18

you tell him, that was my son. He recorded

1:08:20

that for me. And collectively the whole room goes,

1:08:24

ah, that vulnerability,

1:08:26

that he was glowing.

1:08:29

The brother was in awe.

1:08:32

Like, I cannot believe you did this. This

1:08:34

was really great. And nobody

1:08:37

was focused on was this not Bill Collins, was

1:08:39

this not the perfect version? It was for her

1:08:41

mom. What a better way

1:08:43

to honor her. And then

1:08:46

have that, you know, every mother's day like, hey, here's,

1:08:49

here's that recording my son did. That

1:08:52

was the most meaningful version. That's the

1:08:54

difference. It might not have been

1:08:56

the most perfect, but it was the most meaningful

1:08:58

because it was done with love and from someone

1:09:01

that you care about. Yeah, I've

1:09:03

done that before. And it's always

1:09:05

like, it doesn't matter. It could be karaoke.

1:09:08

Now, the audience is not going to get it until they get

1:09:10

it, but we'll have the reveal late. I

1:09:13

had a dad do a voiceover daughter and

1:09:15

an instrumental part of that. He was in

1:09:18

video production. When I said voiceover, he

1:09:20

was like, his eyes lit up. What would that look like?

1:09:22

I was like, go in the studio. Talk

1:09:25

for eight minutes and send it to me. I

1:09:27

think he talked for 12. I was like, tell

1:09:29

me your favorite moment with your daughter, the most fun moment,

1:09:31

the most memorable moment. He gushed

1:09:33

on and on for, for, for 12 minutes.

1:09:36

I used less than 12 seconds. Just put

1:09:38

stuff in the instrumental. She was in happy

1:09:40

tears. I waited, I think

1:09:42

it was her first or second anniversary. And then I sent

1:09:44

her the full 12 minutes. I actually might've sent

1:09:46

it to him on Bob's day. And

1:09:49

then I said, by the way, you don't know. There's

1:09:51

another here for you. Listen to

1:09:54

this. This is your dad glowing about

1:09:56

how proud he is. What

1:09:59

daughter does it? want that. But

1:10:01

I think the time in between made

1:10:04

it a little bit more significant because it wasn't all bundled

1:10:06

up in that one idea. It was another

1:10:08

memory that was pre

1:10:11

post, you know, B roll, but but

1:10:13

what and who

1:10:16

doesn't want to hear their parent gush

1:10:18

about on audio for the rest of their lives, you

1:10:20

know, share that with their children. We

1:10:24

have tools, man. We're

1:10:26

not being used. I'm starting

1:10:28

to get a theme from you that there's a

1:10:30

little bit of a mischievous boy inside of you

1:10:33

that you like to tease people a little bit like you

1:10:36

like to give them a little bit information, get them lenient

1:10:38

like but wait, there's

1:10:41

more that you

1:10:43

like to like send little surprises, there's a

1:10:45

little Easter egg that you may or may

1:10:47

not know that's coming that lives beyond the

1:10:49

service in which some of these hired you

1:10:51

for that there's a lot

1:10:53

of thoughtful intentionality behind the things that you do. And

1:10:57

I think that's a great way for us and this episode

1:10:59

to ask all of our listeners to to do something.

1:11:01

I don't normally do this, but I'm going to make

1:11:04

a habit of doing this more often. We'll

1:11:06

listen to things we watch videos, but

1:11:08

then we're inspired, but we don't do

1:11:10

anything. So I'm going to ask

1:11:12

you right now every every person who's watching or listening to

1:11:14

this, take a moment reflect

1:11:17

on the stories. Think

1:11:19

about the one light bulb moment for you. And

1:11:23

then write that down. And

1:11:26

then think and ask yourself how might I

1:11:28

apply this in my line of work to

1:11:31

create these memories for my clients and people I

1:11:33

serve. What's one

1:11:36

thing I could do differently about how I approach

1:11:38

sales, or how I might

1:11:40

become detached from the outcome? What

1:11:43

is one thing I can do after the service has

1:11:45

been paid for that I can do to deliver the

1:11:47

light commit to just

1:11:49

one thing and

1:11:52

then create a plan of attack. What is your plan?

1:11:54

Like how will I implement this and

1:11:56

then do it in the next week? In

1:11:58

that way, We can carry

1:12:01

the lessons and the stories but we can

1:12:03

actually improve our lives on our business And

1:12:05

that's what I want you to do. So you can commit

1:12:07

to that. I Think you

1:12:09

have a bright future ahead of you and on that note Paul

1:12:12

It's been a pleasure talking to you and

1:12:14

for people who don't know Paul and I

1:12:16

were strangers We went on a fishing trip

1:12:18

at at Oles in British Columbia

1:12:20

and we're gonna do it again come

1:12:23

September. So I look forward to Hearing

1:12:25

your line scream their your real stream and

1:12:27

seeing who's who's brought in the bigger fish

1:12:31

Small fish dough Get

1:12:33

some bait. It's in it's in make this That

1:12:38

did happen you did catch the larger you love our

1:12:40

I did catch the largest We

1:12:47

can't always control with gifts on the line Paul

1:12:49

it's been a pleasure. Thanks for doing this.

1:12:52

Thanks for pouring into us. Thank you, sir.

1:12:55

Thank you It was an honor. I have

1:12:57

gone from not knowing you just admiring you

1:12:59

from afar to building a great friendship. Thank

1:13:01

you it's been an honor to

1:13:03

share my story, I love telling them and I Have

1:13:08

notes from how I might serve you and your family

1:13:10

at your son's wedding that I gleaned over

1:13:12

last August. I I Put

1:13:14

these nuggets back and just in case they're used one

1:13:16

day. You never know. I want

1:13:18

to encourage you to do something to

1:13:21

perhaps do some Consulting

1:13:23

outside of your industry to

1:13:26

teach people how if

1:13:29

they're if they sell donuts or if

1:13:31

they're retail store selling clothing how they

1:13:33

can create these memorable experiences Big

1:13:36

and small ideas. I would encourage

1:13:38

you to do that I would also like

1:13:40

to challenge you a little bit in Going

1:13:43

out there and giving your version of a TED

1:13:45

talk and using the tools and techniques To

1:13:47

bring your audience into it and getting them to

1:13:49

participate. That would be something to behold I

1:13:52

don't know if you've already done that but that's a challenge. I'm

1:13:54

thrown out at you I spoke at a

1:13:56

DJ convention and there was crickets. So maybe maybe

1:13:58

there's an audience out there there, but the

1:14:01

music guys definitely didn't resonate.

1:14:04

So we'll see. I like that

1:14:06

challenge. I really do. If you've enjoyed this

1:14:09

conversation and you like the weird mind that

1:14:11

is Paul, and you think your

1:14:14

business and your service can use the breath

1:14:16

fresh air, worth the risk.

1:14:19

Worth the risk, give Paul a call and

1:14:21

see what he can do for you. So Paul, people

1:14:23

are curious about you and want to enlist

1:14:26

you in helping them to think differently to break out

1:14:28

of their box, to come up with

1:14:30

something that's never been done before in their line

1:14:32

of work. How might they find you? I

1:14:35

have a couple of different businesses. So

1:14:37

the easiest way would be the Facebook

1:14:39

page that we already referred to, heirloom

1:14:41

entertainment. And if you can't spell heirloom,

1:14:44

somebody said it's going to be a problem. You're probably not

1:14:46

my client. Like

1:14:50

the tomato, everybody. There's a silent H in that.

1:14:52

That is two things. Only thing I noticed in

1:14:54

heirloom is the tomato. And I'm like, you're not

1:14:56

my client. If you don't know how to spell

1:14:58

it, you think it's a tomato, you're not my

1:15:00

client. But these, what I wanted

1:15:02

to create was heirloom memories, was heirloom

1:15:04

video, audio. So yeah, heirloom entertainment on

1:15:07

Facebook, message me through there, read some

1:15:09

ideas. If I'm not in

1:15:11

your part of the world, then I can come and help,

1:15:13

which I do love travel. So I would absolutely come help.

1:15:16

Yeah, all right. Paul, thank you very much.

1:15:18

Thanks, buddy. I appreciate it. And I look forward

1:15:20

to seeing you in September on the boat. Hi,

1:15:24

this is Paul Hoke. And you

1:15:26

are listening to The Future. Thanks

1:15:34

for joining us. If you

1:15:36

haven't already, subscribe to our show on your

1:15:38

favorite podcasting app and get new insightful episodes

1:15:40

from us every week. The

1:15:43

Future podcast is hosted by Chris Do

1:15:45

and produced and edited by Rich Cardona

1:15:47

Media. Thank you to Adam

1:15:49

Sanborn for her intro music. If

1:15:53

you enjoyed this episode, then do us a favor

1:15:55

by reviewing and rating our show on Apple Podcast.

1:15:59

It will help us grow the show. and make future episodes

1:16:01

that much better. If

1:16:04

you'd like to support the show and

1:16:06

invest in yourself while you're at it,

1:16:08

visit thefuture.com and you'll find video courses,

1:16:11

digital products, and a bunch of helpful

1:16:13

resources about design and the creative business.

1:16:15

Thanks again for listening and we'll see you next time.

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