0:01

Consider the areas of your life in

0:03

your business that are screaming at you

0:05

to create boundaries and start there. And

0:08

remember, I want for you to know that

0:10

like you can evaluate, change, shift and

0:12

evolve your boundaries at any time. These are

0:14

yours. Hey, my

0:17

name is Jenna Kutcher and I am obsessed

0:19

with all things business, marketing numbers and helping

0:21

you to navigate both the messy and the

0:23

magical seasons of this thing called life. I'm

0:25

a small town mama who took a $300

0:28

camera, grew a successful photo biz and now I

0:30

work from home and run a seven figure online

0:32

business. I teach you the tried

0:34

and true secrets to building a career you adore.

0:36

Shy away from the real talk? No way. Money,

0:40

hardship, growth, loss and marketing are all topics

0:42

we discuss here. Think of

0:44

this as your one stop shop for happy hour with

0:46

a gal pal mixed with business school. Pull

0:48

up a seat, make sure you're cozy and

0:50

get ready to be challenged and encouraged while

0:52

you learn. This is the Gold Digger Podcast.

0:56

Boundaries. Does anyone feel like

0:58

it's a buzzword these days? I feel like

1:00

everywhere I turn, it's a podcast host and

1:02

influencer, my best friend or therapist on Instagram.

1:05

Everyone seems to be talking about

1:07

the importance of establishing and setting

1:10

and keeping and communicating boundaries. My

1:13

therapist recently said that boundaries protect

1:15

what is most sacred. And

1:18

I love that idea because I've had

1:20

to learn and relearn and remind myself

1:22

over and over and over again that

1:24

boundaries aren't meant to keep people or

1:26

opportunities or things out of my life. Boundaries

1:29

keep me in my life. So

1:33

whether we're talking about our professional hustle

1:35

or our personal relationships, boundaries have to

1:38

be a part of the conversation and

1:40

consideration. And maybe you already know that,

1:42

but you've wondered how how can I

1:45

set these boundaries that can strengthen and

1:47

not hurt my goals, my purpose, my

1:49

work. And like, how do

1:51

we define these guardrails in the first place

1:54

and ensure that we're thinking about our needs,

1:56

but also other people's needs inside Today's

1:58

episode? Real about

2:00

how setting an keeping boundaries might not

2:03

be easy, but I want to give

2:05

you questions and problems that you should

2:07

be asking yourself and taking into consideration

2:09

when setting personal boundaries as well as

2:12

professional ones with your team and clients.

2:14

Even with your loved ones were also

2:16

done about boundaries of things like social

2:19

media. So today is all things boundaries.

2:21

in this episode grab your favorite beverage

2:23

and a pen and paper and take

2:26

notes. Oh let's dive on his. Who.

2:30

Grow hurts and when you're a

2:32

marketer trying to generate leads for

2:34

your brand new business, you know

2:36

the pain all too well. Thankfully

2:38

there hotspot first started a special

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program that give started discount on

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hub spot and so much more.

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But first let's talk about the

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2:49

entire front office from marketing to

2:51

sales to support the platform that

2:54

streamlined your support tickets, generates more

2:56

leads and increases sales. The. Platform

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that skills right along with you.

3:00

Oh and don't even get me

3:03

started on the educational articles, industry

3:05

reports, videos, tips, template. literally everything

3:07

founders need to help scale have

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so get ready to build a

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Start us. Said.

3:26

It am going to take you on

3:28

a journey and I'm going to lead

3:30

the through a lot of different areas

3:32

and places that I want me to

3:35

consider. We're boundaries should be in your

3:37

life and how to apply this. But

3:39

I really wanted to start this episode.

3:41

With personal boundaries.

3:44

Like us as a person and

3:46

when I think about. My journeys

3:48

aren't for newer of. Over the last

3:50

decade and all that everything's I've encountered.

3:52

Most of the times that I've had

3:54

a really hard stages or seasons were

3:57

there are places where I had to

3:59

learn the. Hard way that I needed

4:01

to have better. Boundaries. And

4:03

at when I think about boundaries ending a

4:05

lot of times a we equate them to

4:07

having. Boundaries around work Or boundaries

4:10

around relationships. But I really really

4:12

believe that if we can start with

4:14

first a personal boundaries then as the

4:16

expand were already protecting what is most

4:18

sacred and that is our connection to

4:20

ourselves and that inner voice in our

4:22

intuition. and all of these powerful guys

4:24

that are trying to reach. Us, but we're

4:26

likely too busy to even notice. So.

4:28

First I wanted to you back to

4:31

one of the first in the hardest

4:33

ways that I learned that we all

4:35

need boundaries and it was winning. Thursday

4:37

him a wedding photographer So a lot

4:39

of you know about my journey. I

4:41

work in corporate America about a three

4:43

hundred dollar Cameron Craigslist. Over the next

4:45

year I did both of those jobs

4:47

at the same time so that I

4:49

could build a wedding photography business from

4:51

scratch and then I left that corporate

4:53

job he and one thing about me

4:56

is that like is I have work

4:58

to do. I can't rest. It

5:00

is something I've tried to break within

5:02

me. I've always just been. This high

5:04

achievers There's this story I tell

5:06

myself. That I'm unpacking in therapy is

5:08

of if I just push harder and

5:10

if I just do more, everything will

5:13

be okay and so. I

5:15

have a really hard time unplugging and

5:17

actually tell this story in my book.

5:19

How are you really about when I

5:21

really hit burn. Out And it was

5:24

this phase of wedding photography. I was

5:26

shooting thirty weddings in a summer, which

5:28

if you live in the Mid West,

5:30

it's condensed from like basically May until

5:32

October and so shooting one or two

5:34

weddings every single weekend and then all

5:36

week long. I was editing during the

5:38

week and I tell this story in

5:40

a book about how Drew and I

5:42

went to this apple orchards that I

5:44

could shoot disengagement session and I was

5:46

super happy. And as Posey Nam, the

5:48

photos are gorgeous. They're still gorgeous to

5:50

this day and I remember just like

5:52

collapsing into. Their car and I said to him i

5:54

said you think they can tell and he's like to think

5:56

they can tell when as I do think they can tell

5:58

how. Utterly exhausted that I am right now,

6:00

I'm. He. And he was. This

6:02

place in my life where like

6:05

I had no boundaries I would

6:07

sleep with my laptop. On.

6:09

My nightstand I was always available. I

6:11

said yes to everything and I think

6:13

when I look back there is this

6:15

level of imposter syndrome. There's this level

6:17

of scarcity. There is a sphere that

6:19

it wasn't gonna work out that I

6:21

have to go back to corporate America.

6:23

There's a lot around that to be

6:25

unpacked and so my first thing that

6:27

I want freedom really think about is

6:29

what is your boundary around? when will

6:32

you work in? when will you unplug

6:34

and what does that look like And.

6:36

I. Am not anti hustle culture in the

6:38

sense of like I don't think hustlers required

6:41

any hostile. Is absolutely required to get your

6:43

dream. Off the ground indifference stages

6:45

of your business hustles required

6:47

but. It's. Hustle as the only way

6:49

that you can sustain or grow your business. If

6:51

hustle, the only way that you can get paid

6:53

if. You're. Gonna burn Now it's not going

6:56

to be. get. And so I want

6:58

free to think about what does this look

7:00

like like When I was brain and keen

7:02

on both ends as working sixty plus hours

7:04

a week at a corporate job with a

7:06

commute and then I would go home and

7:08

be building my blog and booking clients and

7:10

doing all the business stuff. I. Like

7:12

started my entrepreneurial journey like so many of

7:14

us do were working crazy hours was just

7:17

the only way to get it going but

7:19

I never realized that like ones that actually

7:21

made the leap into full time entrepreneurship that

7:24

something could change and I didn't change it

7:26

until a totally hit burnout and so maybe

7:28

you sit down after. Listen this episode in

7:30

you ask yourself what what am I going

7:33

to do for work and then when am

7:35

I going to be off and what is

7:37

our off look like the next thing that

7:39

I want really consider in this is the

7:42

knowledge. Of him for every single person

7:44

in specially based on what ever area

7:46

of your life you find yourself and

7:48

but what to your conversations look like

7:50

about. Work with your partner, with

7:53

your family, with your children, with

7:55

whoever is in your clothes sphere

7:57

of influence. Druid.

8:00

I rarely talk about business or work. I was actually

8:02

just telling one of my team members about this. We

8:04

were talking about like, you know, how much does your

8:06

spouse know about what you do or your day

8:08

to day. And somehow we've sunk

8:10

into this place in our life that I

8:13

love, where we

8:15

don't really talk about the work I do. And I

8:18

love it. I don't feel undervalued. I

8:20

don't feel misunderstood. Like, I

8:22

have people in my life, like Amy Porterfield,

8:24

who want to talk about work with me,

8:26

like my husband wants me to just be

8:28

with him and the kids and like he

8:30

doesn't need to hear about like webinar registrations.

8:32

Like, for example, the other night we were

8:34

getting ready for bed. I was

8:36

so excited. We're in this launch. We're

8:38

just like crushing our goals. And

8:41

I tried to explain something to him about like

8:43

why I was so excited. And he

8:45

asked like the dumbest follow up question to

8:47

me. And I had no

8:50

patience. And I was like, you don't even

8:52

get I don't even know I tried to tell you this. And

8:54

I felt so bad because he was trying to

8:56

be excited for me and trying to understand it.

8:58

And I was like just reminded of like, he

9:00

doesn't need to know everything to like value what

9:02

I do. So we have kind of gotten to

9:04

this place of like, if there's anything he needs

9:06

to know about work, I'll let him know I

9:08

kind of give him like a rough overview of

9:11

what I'm working on or things like that. But

9:13

like, we don't really talk about work. And

9:15

I think that is in part because

9:17

I watched a lot of my friends

9:19

navigate entrepreneurship where either they work with

9:21

their partners or the partners are

9:23

involved or invested or they have opinions.

9:26

And all they do is talk about work.

9:28

And like, I want to work to live

9:30

not live to work. And so for me

9:32

at creating a boundary of like, I'll give

9:34

you like a quick synopsis of my week.

9:36

But like, otherwise, you don't really need to

9:38

know all the intricacies and you don't care

9:40

to know anyways, that has

9:42

been so helpful for us. And so

9:44

maybe establishing what those boundaries look like,

9:46

especially to when you're starting out, and

9:49

you might be more influenced by people's

9:51

opinions of things, really getting clear on

9:53

like, who am I going to let into what

9:55

I'm working on? Who even cares to be let in?

9:57

And what does that look like? And I think that's

9:59

a really powerful to really explore

10:01

for different individualized relationships and to figure

10:03

out like what feels good and what supports

10:05

you the most in the ways that you

10:07

need it. Okay number

10:09

three is how will you plan

10:11

for life events with your work?

10:13

So so many of us have heard

10:16

this analogy I've heard it even recently I feel like

10:18

it's like the universe like giving me this sign of

10:20

that story of like putting big rocks

10:23

in first and then little rocks it's

10:25

a story about this professor who tries

10:27

to show his students so he has

10:29

this big mason jar he pours in

10:31

a bunch of sand which is all

10:33

the little things that we do every

10:35

day checking email posting on social getting

10:37

contracts signed invoicing all these things and

10:39

then he tries to fit these big

10:42

rocks in which is like your values

10:44

like your life travel relationships rest and

10:47

the whole visual of this exercise is to

10:49

show if you place the big rocks in

10:51

first the sand will fit around it so

10:54

you have to get very clear on what

10:56

is most important to me how do I

10:58

make sure those get planned for first and

11:00

let all the little stuff fall

11:02

around it and so what is

11:05

your planning process going to be where

11:08

it comes where like life and

11:10

business intersect for me

11:12

it's been a really interesting phase of

11:14

life because we have things like Coco has

11:16

winter break from school or she has

11:18

these random Fridays where she's off of school

11:21

and different things like that and so like

11:23

I have to mature in motherhood in a

11:25

way of like I am prepping and

11:27

planning of like all of these different things

11:29

or her friends birthday parties or different things

11:32

like that that are very important not

11:34

only to her but also to me and

11:36

so I have to plan my work

11:38

around those things and

11:40

I think that for a lot of us will

11:43

hit December 31st and we're like oh

11:45

man like I didn't get to visit my grandparents

11:47

as much as I thought or I really wanted

11:49

to take that trip with my best friends and

11:51

that didn't happen or I missed so-and-so's wedding because

11:54

I had a work event and

11:56

so figuring out like how are you going to

11:58

plan your life first? And.

12:00

Then how are you gonna plan your work

12:03

around that? Then again thinking of the big

12:05

rocks. First, establish what are they say that

12:07

when are they and how do you protect

12:09

those And and how do you let everything

12:12

else ball around and sell? You know there

12:14

are so many times in my early days

12:16

as a wedding photographer where I was booking

12:18

our you're in advance I miss one of

12:20

my best friends weddings. I still think about

12:23

it. I miss my cousins were like there's

12:25

this different things that I miss out on

12:27

because of work and again some of it.

12:29

Yeah, can't really account for, but. I

12:31

remember those things. I remember things that were

12:34

very important that I wasn't able to be

12:36

out because of work and so sinkings you

12:38

big rocks first and then the small rocks

12:40

and letting all those things Phil and he

12:42

ended. The other thing that has been super

12:44

helpful for me I'm is holding my plans

12:46

more loosely. So yes, I have plans envisions.

12:48

Yes, I have things plane out for the

12:50

rest a year, but how do I kind

12:52

of hold it a little bit more loosely

12:54

with a little bit more flexibility in a

12:56

little bit more grace. And I think that

12:59

has been really helpful because I don't feel

13:01

directionless. I don't have no plans, I have plans,

13:03

but I'm also kind of. Holding.

13:05

Them loosely and just allowing them to like ebb

13:07

and flow and his it in transform. Throughout the

13:09

year as an continue to transform. You

13:14

might not notice about me, but one of

13:16

my favorite roles that I play in life

13:18

is being a host. That's why Drew and

13:20

I are hosts on Air Bnb. If you

13:22

want to generate extra income and have space

13:25

to share, you should definitely check out Air

13:27

Bnb. As a mom and full time entrepreneur,

13:29

it's been super easy to fit hosting into

13:31

my schedule. Over the last few

13:33

years we've had many visitors and we've

13:35

even been voted super host several times.

13:38

Whether. You thought properties as an investment

13:40

or have unused rooms waiting to be

13:42

shared hosting on Air B and is

13:44

a practical and profitable choice. And just

13:46

think about it if you put a

13:48

ton of time, effort and work, and

13:50

your home somewhere out there, probably would

13:52

love to experience it while they're traveling.

13:54

So next time you're planning a trip

13:56

or want to make some extra pocket

13:58

change from your thesis. Sitter whole

14:00

thing on Air Bnb. The whole

14:02

thing process is simple, practical, and

14:04

tailored to you. Your home might

14:07

be worth more than you think.

14:09

Find out how much at Air

14:11

B and B.com/host. Number

14:13

Three with how do you plan for life

14:15

events with your work Number four: When.

14:18

Is enough a nurse. He.

14:20

Had When is it not? Working. So.

14:23

Like, what is your enough point? Again, this

14:25

is another chapter. My bucks is one my

14:27

favorite things that hoc about. But when are

14:30

you going to slow down or wayne? are

14:32

you going to let enough be enough? Through

14:34

And I were literally just having this conversation

14:36

the other night because we're just talking about

14:38

different goals and what we think the business

14:41

will do this year and what the vision

14:43

is and Ali's of and things we're kind

14:45

of talking about. Like all when. When.

14:48

Do I cut back in like what I

14:50

enjoy cutting? Back to a have to cut back should

14:52

I cut backs. At a pivot. Like all these

14:54

different things and I think that if you

14:56

are aimless in white your enough point is

14:58

it's just easy to keep going, raise easy

15:00

to keep using more, more more and we're

15:03

just having is really powerful conversation cause there's

15:05

so many people my industry where they're just

15:07

hungry, they want to continue to outdo themselves

15:09

every single year year over year and I'm

15:11

like but what for like what is it

15:13

for And so I've always tried to be

15:16

very clear on like this is my enough

15:18

point. this is where. like I say okay,

15:20

I'm good, I can cut back he and

15:22

we're. Kind of in a season of like reestablishing

15:24

what is that Now on the flipside of as

15:27

when is something not working and like when do

15:29

we pull the plug on and like what is

15:31

that look like be As I think to some

15:33

people get too deep into something or they're invested

15:35

in a it's like that sunk cost fallacy of

15:38

like why have already been going for this degree

15:40

for three years if I quit Now that's been

15:42

a ways but it's like the see you're gonna

15:44

waste the next ten years of your life doing

15:46

something you don't love and so again it's like

15:48

when is enough enough or when is it not

15:51

working? Like how do we define those. things

15:53

and create boundaries around those things so

15:55

that it's not a question mark there's

15:57

clarity there and neither conversation that i'm

16:00

having frequently with Drew, I'm having them with

16:02

my friends and I'm really just figuring out

16:04

like boundaries on both ends of the spectrum of

16:06

like I'm going to invest in this thing and

16:08

I'm going to test it out for X

16:10

amount of months and then I'm going to

16:12

evaluate and make a decision, right? I'm being

16:14

willing to experiment and I'm not holding the

16:16

outcome too tightly. And so

16:18

I just think that this is a really powerful

16:20

thing because like for me, I tell the

16:23

story in my book when I hit burnout, I

16:25

was making six figures that had been this elusive

16:27

goal and when I hit it, I was just

16:29

like dead. Like I felt like a

16:31

shell of myself and I decided

16:34

I want to go back to making 50K a

16:36

year. Like I was so much happier. I had

16:38

time. I was able to be with the people

16:40

I loved and so that really helped

16:42

me to understand that like it's not always about

16:44

more, more, more. So when is enough enough and

16:46

when is it not working? Number

16:48

five is how much am I willing to invest to

16:51

make a go at this? How many of you guys

16:53

have seen Shark Tank? I love that

16:55

show. I'm just a huge fan of Shark Tank. I'm

16:57

so inspired by the entrepreneurs that go on it and

16:59

the sharks. But how many of you

17:01

guys have seen where like people are like

17:03

all in, like they've refinanced their house or

17:05

they've moved back in with their parents, they've

17:07

put in their retirement savings. Like

17:10

they've gone all in. Like I admire that. I am not that

17:12

type of person. I do not like risk in that way. But

17:15

I think that if you don't have a boundary or

17:17

like a really clear line in the sand of like how

17:19

much am I actually willing to invest in this thing?

17:22

It can get really, really

17:24

scary. And so this

17:26

is like setting parameters and boundaries around

17:28

like I'm going to go up to

17:30

this point. This is my comfort point. This is my

17:32

enough point. And if it's not working or it's not

17:34

worth it at that point, then we've got to either

17:36

pivot or pull the plug. And so

17:38

how much are you willing to invest? At

17:40

the beginning of my entrepreneurial journey as a wedding

17:43

photographer, I was working my full-time job.

17:45

But I also had a wedding to pay for in

17:47

student loans. And We were

17:49

not in a great financial situation, right?

17:51

We're like fresh out of college, paying

17:53

off my loans. I'm making 50K a

17:55

year. I'm like trying to do all

17:57

these things. And So I had to.

17:59

Really.? Doubtless quickly. what is a

18:01

nice to have? And. What is

18:04

a need to have? Yes I would have

18:06

loved to have every single lens out there

18:08

on the market for my camera but that

18:10

wasn't necessarily going to make the more money

18:12

I needed a website I needed an and

18:14

count and some of those own sexy expenses

18:16

and so when you think about investing ask

18:18

yourself is is a nice to have are

18:20

in need of Is this essential for me

18:22

being a business owner? Meaning I have an

18:24

offer to sell and I've away for somebody

18:26

to purchase that. A lot of things are

18:28

nice to have. most of them are not

18:30

need to have that the beginning and so

18:32

I sell funded. And bootstrap the hallway and I'm

18:35

so thankful I did that. That really just get clear

18:37

on establishing like how much of a willing to invest

18:39

in as and what is his look like and when

18:41

am I going to like fully evaluate if this is

18:43

working or not. And. In the last

18:45

person boundary they think is very very

18:47

very powerful and will talk about this

18:50

a little bit more later on is

18:52

when it comes to social media, what

18:54

is considered person all and what is

18:56

considered business and I added this and

18:59

in last minute because I was really

19:01

thinking about like personal boundaries and what

19:03

does this look like and I think

19:05

for a lot of us especially if

19:07

you run a personal brand this area

19:10

gets to be a shade of grey

19:12

where it is very hard to establish

19:14

like. And my scrolling on social media

19:16

yeah, because I'm personally entertained or that

19:18

because I'm actually doing market research are

19:20

creating a posts. Am I shooting content

19:22

on the weekends for business purposes or

19:24

for personal like and just kind of

19:26

creating a very clear sense of understanding

19:28

of the role that social media's gonna

19:30

play. What is consider personal, what is

19:32

considered business or is gonna be a

19:34

shade of grey for you is gonna

19:36

be black and white. But what does

19:38

that look like? And. I. Think

19:41

that for many of us like it

19:43

can be really hard as your a

19:45

part of your business is being on

19:47

social media because it all feels like

19:49

work right and so just creating those

19:51

boundaries a lease for yourself to understand

19:53

like okay I'm just going on social

19:55

to scroll personally I want to talk

19:57

to my friends are I'm on here.

20:00

Rubbish for my business. Anything that can just

20:02

be something that can be powerful to start

20:04

to a least examine and think about in

20:06

your life. and maybe. with your own social media

20:08

use and I. Said at

20:11

first. So let's go to teams. So I wanted

20:13

to say I understand you might I have a

20:15

team yet but I want me to still listen

20:17

to this because if you don't have a team

20:19

right now, but you are working on building something

20:21

there's a really good chance at in the future

20:24

you might have to hire someone or worker the

20:26

contractor or have a virtual assistants or even as

20:28

the mean your family. Come on and help usages.

20:30

Listen to Los Li and tuck this in the

20:32

back your mind if you don't have a team.

20:34

but if you have a team this is so

20:37

powerful. So first. For many

20:39

entrepreneurs, most of us we never really

20:41

go in entrepreneurship imagining that we're gonna

20:43

have a team and I don't know

20:45

about you. but I never went to

20:47

boss school. having boundaries with your team and

20:49

being super intentional about what that's gonna

20:51

look like is going to see these

20:53

so much stress and frustration and heartbreak and

20:55

probably money in the long run into.

20:57

Think few these things with me so

20:59

the first thing on free to think

21:02

through as your communication style and how you

21:04

prefer to communicate. So what super interesting

21:06

is that for the first few years

21:08

I only. Had like one team member in

21:10

a virtual assistant. I mean this was years into

21:12

and so for the first few years those just

21:14

meet me myself and I was all the things

21:17

the support person, the market or that communicator, the

21:19

everything I was, the everything or than I had

21:21

a virtual says that. He. Had we

21:23

would communicate either via text or email.

21:25

Now as the years have gone on,

21:27

my preferred South Communication with my team

21:29

is slack. We the thing called Flak.

21:31

It's free. It's basically like Aol instant

21:33

messenger, but for businesses I love it.

21:35

You can set status updates, you can

21:37

communicate, you can schedule messages you can

21:39

and voice memos, documents, links, all the

21:41

things I can't imagine doing my business.

21:43

Without flak to be honest, Now. What

21:46

is amazing is that we have

21:48

created a very beautiful boundary oriented

21:50

team culture. so we do four

21:52

day work week so we don't

21:54

work on Fridays. We do our

21:56

best to really understand people's time

21:58

zones and Chinese. We schedule post

22:00

to go live. when somebody is working. we

22:03

pay attention to when some of these light

22:05

is green which means they're on and when

22:07

it is off and so getting very clear

22:09

of like this is how I prefer to

22:11

communicate. This is my Channel Four team. We

22:13

have a very strict policy of you cannot

22:15

reach out to some he cell phone unless

22:17

it's an emergency. The reason why is that

22:19

when I'm with my kids and if somebody

22:21

were to text me about work, he can

22:23

so quickly pull me out of the present

22:25

moment and back into work and it can

22:27

give me that like sense of urgency that's

22:29

likely. Not there and sell for me. Slack

22:31

is on my computer when I'm valuable, I'm

22:33

watching it when I'm off. I am up

22:36

and I want to be thinking about works

22:38

and so I want the same thing for

22:40

my team as a one for myself. So

22:42

how do you prefer to communicate next? Winter.

22:44

You going to be available so you

22:46

can set statuses? I want me to

22:48

communicate with your team, what is the

22:51

expectation around when you will be available

22:53

and on and leverage things like scheduling

22:55

messages, sharing calendar updates, requesting time off

22:57

to different things like that so that

22:59

you can really prepare for when someone

23:01

is available and how to communicate with

23:03

them. And the most preferred method next

23:05

is what is your relationship with your

23:07

team and contractors and employees gonna look

23:10

like. Sell. Are you only gonna talk

23:12

about work? Are you going to share personal

23:14

life details? How are you? Than it communicates

23:16

what is it look like in terms of

23:18

your personal relationship outside of work? How do

23:21

you protect that into sign that? Like just

23:23

thinking through like how do you want the

23:25

culture to be with your team members and

23:27

how do you establish at or set boundaries

23:29

around that? Some people don't wanna talk about

23:31

personal things, some people do. I love knowing

23:34

what's happening my team's life. whether they're getting

23:36

a new puppy or they're pregnant or they're

23:38

planning a wedding like I wanna be a

23:40

part. Of that like I very much care

23:42

about my team outside of what they do

23:44

for the business and so thinking through very

23:47

thoughtfully. what boundaries do I need and place

23:49

to protect the types of relationships that I

23:51

want have with my team. The next starts,

23:53

what are the expectations around work hours, holidays,

23:55

time off in sickness so I've had to

23:58

navigate how to figure out the like maternity

24:00

leave or if somebody is sick or what

24:02

is this look like and so again having

24:04

boundaries and clear communication so that if somebody

24:06

sick they don't feel like they need to

24:08

get on are they need to get their

24:11

computer. Us one team member who's so devoted

24:13

to the business shoes and a Hawthorne. she's

24:15

like telling her husband ago get her a

24:17

laptop, Another if you dare bring her computer

24:19

I will com and fly there and get

24:22

it myself like she needs to rest and

24:24

sell just setting those expectations and clearly communicating

24:26

it is going to help the team called

24:28

sir. Any overall morale of. Your team as

24:30

well as just the understanding of what's expected. I'm

24:35

pretty well versed in social media, but there

24:37

was one meter platform on the internet that

24:39

I didn't know how to use to. it's

24:42

Max potential and that was linked didn't? Can

24:44

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25:46

apply. Okay, So.

25:48

For clients, let's talk about clients.

25:50

So when I was starting out,

25:53

I was accessible every hour of

25:55

every day. I literally would not

25:57

leave my house without my laptop.

26:00

The bill would be texting me. I will

26:02

get taxed at like ten pm asking for

26:04

like a photo of me and Grandpa Frank

26:06

on the dance floor like I was so

26:08

wildly available. A kind of makes the six

26:10

my sonic. Now towards the end I learned

26:12

the power of boundaries and so I started

26:14

setting boundaries of like I will give you

26:16

my bride at my phone number of the

26:18

week of your wedding. I'm not giving it

26:21

to six months out that you can text

26:23

me anytime you have a question. We can

26:25

communicate through the channel that I prefer which

26:27

was email so that we edit everything tracks

26:29

and so. That way I started said the

26:31

execution the week of your wedding. I'll give

26:33

you my phone number that we I'm widely

26:35

available for you that week, but it was

26:37

just a more intentional and guarded and organized

26:40

approach that we I wasn't like we did.

26:42

they send a text was isn't an email

26:44

Was this in the contract? Everything was organized

26:46

for me and I set those boundaries very

26:48

early on servers. When. Can people expect to

26:50

hear back from me? I'm. Setting. Expectations really

26:52

early on and then reminding people of

26:54

when they can expect to hear back

26:56

using things like a schedule in auto

26:58

respond or like we have the most

27:00

bad day and I want to swearing

27:02

he's a little their i'm bad at

27:04

a auto responder out there. People literally

27:06

say the like email me just to

27:08

see the auto respond is is so

27:10

powerful we thought about if somebody is

27:12

emailing here like the five mean things

27:14

they might need from us. Here's how

27:16

we can link it up for them

27:18

Express and they can expect to hear

27:20

back, give them details. On what they might

27:23

be looking for. Most people don't even need

27:25

a response after they get our auto respond

27:27

or but again it's just setting those boundaries

27:29

of like this is one were available to

27:31

answer your questions. This is one will be

27:34

online. The next thing you need to create

27:36

a boundary on with clients is are you

27:38

willing and able to offer discounts or free

27:40

offers? So very early on I had a

27:42

lot of people in my life like family

27:45

members and friends who wanted photos and I

27:47

really burned myself a few times because I

27:49

would give them a steep discount and I

27:51

recognize. That do not work for me. Why?

27:53

Because I felt undervalued and they still felt

27:56

like a pain client who should get the

27:58

same experience as a full paying client. So

28:00

I made a decision pretty early on. I

28:02

said you're either gonna fully pay and you'll

28:04

get the full experience or I'm in a

28:07

do everything for free and the balls in

28:09

my court in terms of what that looks

28:11

like. That was so helpful for me because

28:13

it removed that shade of grey that often

28:15

treated a key feelings or frustrations on any

28:18

and and sell figure out am I willing

28:20

to offer discounts are free offers and what

28:22

does that look like and really see boundaries

28:24

around that and how you communicate around that

28:26

and in lastly, create a boundary around how

28:29

you handle a dissatisfied. Client: what is your

28:31

plan if some he's unhappy with their purchase?

28:33

are you gonna resigned Or you can enforce

28:35

policies And here's a pro here makes up.

28:38

Plan before you. Experience someone who's unhappy.

28:40

It is. So much easier to create a

28:42

plan when you are less emotional about the situation.

28:44

So just create a boundary around what that's gonna

28:46

look like and what you're comfortable with. Ios till

28:49

my team. If you could fix anything with five

28:51

hundred dollars or less, you don't even have to

28:53

tell me about it. Duets and so that's been

28:55

really helpful to make. I don't need those details

28:58

like just fix it if you can and give

29:00

people get experiences of that. The. Last

29:02

area is entrepreneurship. Having boundaries that you put

29:04

in place as you put yourself out

29:06

there in a vulnerable way is so important

29:08

in something we don't often consider. Now just

29:11

wanna touch on this piece of things

29:13

because they think we can often think a

29:15

boundary than ways that have already discussed. But

29:17

the deeper I get, the more I

29:19

recognized the power of boundaries. While you're in

29:22

pursuit of your dreams, and likely it's

29:24

going to be exposing yourself to new levels

29:26

of everything. New levels of hopefully money, new

29:28

levels of feedback like whether you're asking

29:30

for it or not. new. Levels, new problems

29:32

and so how do we navigate some of them

29:35

more vulnerable and challenging parts of She's Your Dreams.

29:37

Let's talk about it. So first. White.

29:39

Parts of your life are you going to give

29:41

people access to? So for me as I was

29:44

growing I was an open book. Like have you

29:46

been following the since early days I have shared

29:48

basically everything right. I have put myself out there

29:50

for my body out there. As for my miscarriage

29:53

is out there. I played the air is a

29:55

mess up and I've messed up a lot and

29:57

messed up publicly. Like all of the things. And

30:00

as I've matured and even as have entered

30:02

into like the Siege of Mother had a

30:04

my life that kind of pulled back in

30:07

terms of what I am willing to give

30:09

people access to, I don't share my kids'

30:11

faces all mine anymore. We made that decision

30:13

a year ago. It's felt so good and

30:16

right for us. I often don't share my

30:18

friends or my account. I often don't share

30:20

places that I go. I just feel like

30:22

the most sacred parts of my life right

30:24

now In this stage of life are lived

30:27

and experienced offline Were in the past everything

30:29

was very public. And who knows, maybe it'll

30:31

change again. But like right now, I'm protecting

30:33

the sacred a my life and I just

30:35

kind of reestablish a boundary around what areas

30:38

of my life and really of people access

30:40

to. The next thing is is how are

30:42

you going to filter feedback and criticism? And

30:44

this one has been a really hard one

30:46

for me, especially when it comes to boundaries.

30:49

I am very sensitive and I've been doing

30:51

so much work in therapy lately to unpack

30:53

all of that sensitivity. but I'm getting really

30:55

clear on whose opinions am I value ng

30:57

what am I doing with the feedback or

31:00

the criticism. How my approaching it and

31:02

how do they all play out in

31:04

my day to day life like white

31:06

noise? Do I give.in my life? And

31:08

how do I set boundaries around what

31:11

that is? The next thing is is

31:13

how are you going to make decisions

31:15

around different opportunities? Different invitations, different partnerships.

31:17

I have really brought in this idea

31:19

of l a pause which is a

31:22

French idea was actually something read about

31:24

in like I'm parents had bucks by

31:26

it's. Taking. A beat. Before

31:28

I make decisions on other people's opportunities, I

31:30

want to evaluate a day from now when

31:32

I can like get in such a myself.

31:34

and they does Is selfish like the right

31:36

there are, they aligned with my values. Is

31:39

this the right step in the right direction

31:41

for me and my mission? And so setting

31:43

boundaries around how you make bigger decisions and

31:45

even smaller ones can really help for you

31:47

to evaluate. So like I like to sit

31:49

with things for twenty four hours, my team

31:51

now knows I don't expect you make a

31:53

fast decision. I want to pause for a

31:55

minute and then check in with myself. Anything

31:58

that's been a really, really helpful. Making

32:01

sure that I'm saying yes to the right

32:03

things and other at the hell yeah says

32:05

and not the things that I dread that

32:07

later on. And and lastly, how will you

32:09

handle negativity? Negative comments Online Bully is like

32:11

what is your tolerance gonna be of a

32:13

troll? Comments on your part with dearth. What

32:15

is the boundary going to be for you

32:17

for your social media access? You are you

32:19

gonna delete comments? Are you gonna block people

32:22

like? What is that boundary for you and

32:24

how do you decide in different for everyone?

32:26

Like it's totally as but I think a

32:28

lot it as we don't even think. About

32:30

these things until they start showing up in our lives in

32:32

there were like I don't know what to do, what do

32:34

I do here and so this is why I want me

32:36

to think through this before. Okay, now

32:38

that we covered the ends and the

32:41

out of setting boundaries as time for

32:43

you to take action. Consider the areas

32:45

of your life and your business that

32:47

are screaming at you to create boundaries

32:50

and start there and remember. I want

32:52

for you to know that like you

32:54

can evaluate, change, shift, and evolve your

32:57

boundaries at any time, these are yours.

32:59

These are your ways of protecting what

33:01

is most sacred it to you. Boundaries

33:03

are not about building walls, they are

33:06

about creating clarity as you navigate work.

33:08

And life in a way that supports

33:10

the most sacred aspects of you and

33:12

your life. So as you go about

33:14

your day to day take a moment

33:16

to reflect on where you might need

33:18

to create and reinforced boundaries. and do

33:20

not be afraid to communicate them clearly

33:22

and confidently. They are yours and yours

33:24

alone. The people that love and respect

33:26

you are gonna respect these boundaries that

33:28

you're placing in your life. I

33:30

hope today's episode was super helpful. Ask yourself

33:33

all these questions and so many more!

33:35

And of course until next And Gold diggers,

33:37

keep on digging your biggest goals. I'm

33:40

over here. Giving you a virtual high

33:42

five because you just finished another episode

33:44

is a Gold Digger podcast. Tobacco my

33:46

way too fast for anyone else. You

33:48

want more, head over to Gold Digger

33:50

podcast.com for show notes and all the

33:52

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33:56

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