0:03

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: Hello and welcome back to the gold standard podcast making millions with Mother Malia. As you know, I am mother malia. And we are right now in what I will call our trauma series, and although I at times hesitate to use the word trauma.

0:23

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: I know that you are here because you have already done a lot of personal development and personal transformation. And so you recognize that trauma is actually a big part of what is going to determine whether you feel like you are, you know, moving towards your goals the way you alike, or whether you feel that

0:44

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: Perhaps every day is groundhog day, you know, or you feel like you are chasing our tail, or you feel stuck, or whatever the feeling is. And frankly, you're bang on, you know, when we are doing all of those things

0:57

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: when we are doing the inner work.

1:01

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: and and things still aren't moving the way we know they can, and the way we see it, perhaps even happening for others. That is a really good indication that we shall at least explore whether trauma is there to be explored. And frankly, we live in a world that perpetuates trauma. As we know, we have a lot of divide and conquer tactics, and we essentially are in a frequency war.

1:29

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: And so it stands to reason that if we are going to raise our frequency, that means releasing the things that are keeping us frozen in time so that we can move beyond so that we can ascend, etc. And so today we are going to talk about how to turn being raised by a physically or emotionally distant parent into gold.

1:56

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: So examples of this might be, being raised by a single parent. By no fault of their own. Of course they are in a situation where perhaps they are working very long hours and perhaps, even if they are not they are spent, and they simply are not available, even emotionally, perhaps physically. Perhaps their nervous system is tax. Perhaps they have. They are not able to regulate. Perhaps they are not.

2:26

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: they are reactive, etc. There can be a lot of ways that that plays out. But what you learn from a single parent, for example, or even an ill parent , it's not that they don't even want to be there for you. Perhaps they are in the hospital a lot. Perhaps they are, you know, in a dark room with long standing migraines. Perhaps they are recovering from very severe illness in a bedroom, and are to not be disturbed. Perhaps they are

2:58

a military parent that is, on an assignment. A lot. Perhaps they are. Well, in any kind of law enforcement frankly, where they are on a

3:08

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: extended duty. I shall say you know where they are away for long periods of time. Perhaps it is being adopted where? It says, slightly different, but the effect can be the same, of course, where you don't really know where you come from, but you have awareness that you don't really belong anywhere. It feels like you don't belong anywhere. And then, of course, having an emotionally distant parent where they are there.

3:35

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: But they simply are not available. And however, that plays out for you, that will play out in your money where you will feel like money is just simply not showing up for you

3:46

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: when you ask for it. To you might feel abandoned or rejected by it.

3:51

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: or it is there for you. But you feel like, why aren't you providing for me, or why do I have to beg you so much for your attention? Kind of a thing, you know, and this is very common.

4:04

So naturally, when we are well, for example, if we are raised by a physically distant parent, let's say they are ill, or they are single parent, regardless of whether you might feel there are,

4:17

very loving, and so on, or whether they also have some other complications. Make them not. Let's say the funniest parent would be around.

4:26

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: What you will have learned at a very young age is to not be a burden to that parent.

4:33

that your mere presence is a burden to them, that they have to work harder just to provide for you. They might even be telling you that your parent is sick, and so, perhaps, if there is another parent in the home they are constantly telling you, don't bother your parents, they are recovering. Go, make your own sandwich, go, look after your siblings, go, entertain yourself, be quiet, don't make any noise, don't laugh.

4:59

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: you will wake your parents. Don't ask for too much. You are not the priority right now. If you keep doing this, it might actually harm your parents or kill your parents, you know, and so, whether that is intentional or not, there can be the weight of so much guilt. What am I doing? That is a burden. Oh, my goodness! At any moment I might make my person or my parents worse.

5:25

I am a burden to them. My very existence is a burden to them.

5:30

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: And so, and even for children that are adopted, they say, Oh, unless they know their birth story, and even at that they might still perceive it, however, they choose to perceive it. But if you don't know the full story, you might say well, clearly I was unwanted. I don't even know what it is about me. My pure existence is undesirable. I am such a burden to my parents that they didn't even want to keep me. I was too much. I was too much of a burden.

5:55

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: I was not good enough, you see how the good, not enough and good enough play out very well, and then, of course, we see that in money I don't have enough money.

6:06

or I have to do more for it.

6:08

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: I never have enough, or I am too much.

6:13

or I can't call in too much money, because That will feel like a burden to me when all along

6:19

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: it boils down to. I am a burden.

6:30

So Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: Here we are sitting in the awareness of oh, yes, I can see how that affects my ability to run my business, because if you are burdened, the last thing you are going to feel comfortable doing is making sales. I don't want to bother people. I am already a bother. I don't even know what II do. That is a bother, but I am a bother, and so me!

6:54

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: Having the audacity to host a master class and give people tons of value. Me having the audacity to respond to someone who has specifically asked for more information of how they can buy from me, etc. You know the brain, the unconscious wound will say, oh! You are a bother, and you will contract. Perhaps you will be under charge or over give.

7:16

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: Perhaps you will just push people away because you are so afraid of being rejected, especially when you are completely unclear about what is going to justify people abandoning or rejecting you.

7:29

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: So it is not impossible to make money.

7:33

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: It is that it will be harder to make money harder to attract clients, because until you clear the pattern of I am a burden, I am a bother.

7:43

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: So many business activities that are going to be income generating activities you will avoid like, pitching yourself to podcasts and summits a

7:52

you know, inviting people to your free and paid offers. Inviting people into work with you.

8:04

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: I had discovered it not that long ago. Because I also have had this. I share this not from a place of

8:12

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: Pity. I have a great neutrality around it now, but when I was in my human growing up, my parents were always telling me how much it cost to raise them, constantly, telling me how much it cost to feed me, showing me grocery bills, showing me bills for clothing, etc., and every year my dad will do the taxes, and he will, upon doing them he will have me look at the fact that I am a burden.

8:39

and say, I will just like you to see how much it cost me to raise you this year, how hard I had to work, how much overtime. I had to work in order to make sure that you have this life that you have.

8:51

And so you can imagine. The toll that that took my point is, even not that long ago I realized even when I invited the team in, I was not leading my team. I was attracting the team members that will match that where? They are not really there to support me. It is kind of my job to figure out how to make it easier for them to support me, because, of course, I am a burden.

9:13

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: So then I will approach it more from a place, even just an unconscious undercurrent, or some unconscious undercurrent of I hope I'm not bothering you. I hope you don't mind, or can you do me a favor because I was trying to soften the fact that well, I must be a burden. Of course this was completely unconscious, but you can imagine how,

9:32

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: the caliber of team members that one will attract with that energy, because we will attract helpers instead of expanders. We will attract people that think they are doing us a favor. And of course, when people think they are doing us a favor, they get to work on their own timeline when it is convenient for them, because, of course, it is a favor. You see, they'll deliver things when they feel like it, they will not. If they don't

9:57

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: meet a deadline! Well, it doesn't matter, because they're doing you a favor, you see, and that. And you can see the cost of that, the immediate and long term cost of the inefficiencies, the way that it slows down, the ability to make money with greater ease in the company, etc.

10:12

So even for me, as a h plus figure, CEO, you know I will still find these things where, how they play out.

10:23

I used to soften my messaging much more, and be almost apologetic when I will reach out, and then imagine I mean, we all are on the receiving end of that right? It doesn't feel good to be on the receiving end of feeling, the frequency of apology in an invitation

10:40

to work with us. And yet I was doing that. And of course we all know that you know we are. We can feel the frequency behind all emails and posts, can't we? And so it is not surprising that and that people that wish to buy from us can also feel the frequency, the undercurrent. And this is why, for example, it is so important to clear this, because

10:57

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: once you clear this trauma? Then, all of a sudden, your exact same content that you have written. That is wonderful. You could have 10 award winning copywriters. Look at it and say, Oh, this is the best copy I've ever seen. It will not convert. If there is a frequency of I am a burden I don't want to bother you. I am not worthy. you know, I'm afraid of you, whatever you might be, unknowingly, of course, embedding in the content as a frequency.

11:25

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: As soon as you clear that all of a sudden every day people are in your inbox from your content, saying, "How can I work with you, all of a sudden?" You have 5 figure days, 6 figure days.

11:37

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: all of a sudden. You are getting invites to a a summit, or podcast etc., or speaking gigs that, usually are reserved for, you know, like you maybe will have to go through a significant gatekeeping before you will even be considered. And all of a sudden you cut to the front of the line, so to speak. All of a sudden, the excess marketing. You felt that you were doing, and the excess convincing to work with you all of a sudden dissipates.

12:04

And your programs fill with ease. All of a sudden, you'll notice your numbers dramatically. Go up in your free and group invitations, etc. That is how we turn it into gold.

12:18

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: You have built what you have from these experiences, and that is the beauty of that.

12:25

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: You will likely have felt that you needed to prove that you were not a burden it likely puts you into overdrive, and I am not saying that is healthy, but that is something that can happen

12:38

the other way it can play out? If you completely check out of life and business, you know? You kind of throw your hat in the ring and say I am already a bother. II don't want to burden any more people with my mere presence. I'm not even going to punish them, so to speak, by bringing my energy to their doorstep.

12:59

and of course the business really never gets off the ground, or perhaps we never get beyond a 10 k months, etc. So. But for the most part, if you're a high achiever especially. And if you're listening to this podcast I imagine you are.

13:12

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: then it usually plays out as overperforming to overcompensate, of course, and so we can make a decent amount of money. We can get even to 7 figures with that. But after that it is pretty challenging to get to 8 figures without that being shifted.

13:28

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: and you can even hear from me, there still can be residual.

13:32

And so in clearing this. It's not even about

13:36

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: you know, trying to make everything easy, although that is the desired is about allowing things to flow the way they are always meant to

13:46

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: is about really stepping into maximum impact and minimum effort.

13:55

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: So I hope this serves you today. I hope it has given you some insight about what might be causing you to have some.

14:03

Jennifer Longmore/Mother Malia: You know. Snap food, I will say inclined attraction, or the caliber of clients who are calling in or the income plateau. You might have been feeling like you're at for a while, or that perpetual feeling, of course, which is pretty common for entrepreneurs that you are behind. You know that feeling of I'm always behind.

14:22

So if this has served you, I would love to hear exactly how it serves you, and also, if you can share this with those that you feel will benefit, and then, of course, if you will like to have support in really making 2 times more money, if not more on demand, having it be far easier

14:40

having us create fun, cash injections that don't actually elicit another trauma response releasing any conscious or unconscious trauma that might be capping your income or your client attraction.

14:52

Please feel, reach out, reach out and find out what options I have available for you. You can either message me on the social media channels that you may be connected with or email client [email protected], and someone from my team will gladly reach out and start the process of sharing information with you.