0:05

Hey everybody , welcome to the Herd Fit Podcast

0:07

with Dr Sam Rhee and myself , Coach

0:10

David Silverson . His podcast is

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aimed at helping anyone and everyone looking

0:14

to enhance their healthy lifestyle through fitness

0:16

, nutrition and , most importantly

0:18

, mindset . Alright

0:22

, welcome back to the Herd Fit Podcast . I'm Coach David

0:24

Silverson . I'm here with my co-host , dr and Coach

0:26

Sam Rhee . We have a very

0:28

special guest today . Here across at Bison

0:31

, we have a lot

0:33

of talent , a lot

0:35

of stories that others may not know about

0:37

. One of the more interesting

0:39

talents and one of the more interesting

0:41

people that I think I've ever met at Bison

0:44

in almost 10 years now is

0:46

the man sitting right in between Sam and I , rafi

0:49

Silver . What ?

0:51

is up the most interesting . Wow

0:53

, that's an honor Now .

0:55

Rafi , I just want to make sure . Are you comfortable being on camera

0:57

and talking to him like a ?

0:59

I'll be honest , I'm more nervous now than

1:01

I have been in class .

1:03

Why am I asking him that ? If you don't know who Rafi

1:05

is ? Rafi , you probably have seen

1:07

him before . He's an actor . He's been

1:09

onRafi . Give me a run of shows that you've

1:11

been on that you know people have watched .

1:13

Pretty much . If you watch CBS

1:15

, you'll have seen me at some point in your life

1:17

. Ncis yeah

1:19

, I was on NCIS , but first I was on NCIS

1:22

LA . I was a terrorist . On that . I

1:24

got drowned by LL Cool

1:26

J . I died a lot on TV for

1:28

a while . There I

1:30

was on elementary . I was on NCIS

1:32

for a while I did . Madame Secretary

1:34

, there's

1:37

going to be an episode of Evil coming out whenever

1:39

the next season wraps

1:41

and that's on CBS as well . Another

1:45

show called Fall Out , which is going to be on Amazon

1:47

, which that comes

1:49

out April 12th . I'm going to

1:51

put that episode of mine because it's all top secret

1:53

, but yeah , there's that . And also

1:56

, you probably have heard me , I

1:58

was the voice of Bud Light for five years

2:00

, wow , yeah . So

2:02

I was on the Super Bowl . I did all the . I

2:05

rode the dilly dilly train pretty much

2:07

, which is pretty awesome . The same .

2:08

Is pretty cool being next to an A-lister like Radio

2:11

.

2:11

You know , when my daughter , sasha found out that he

2:13

was Kasim from NCIS , she

2:15

freaked out . It

2:18

was like a three or four episode or multi-episode

2:21

arc where you're dating one of the primary

2:24

characters . I forgot her name Agent

2:26

Bishop . Yeah , agent Bishop , the blonde one . I

2:29

remember watching it at the time , never

2:31

connected it . Then Sasha did

2:33

and she was like , oh my God , he was the best People

2:35

loved you in that character

2:38

. It was that was very cool

2:40

.

2:41

You want to hear a quick story of Bud NCIS ? Absolutely Okay . So

2:45

Bud NCIS just cast as a guest star in season

2:47

12 and I was there

2:49

. You know , when you're doing a guest star , you're

2:51

there for eight or 10

2:53

days . An episode shoots for 10

2:55

days and I think I was there every

2:57

single day and most of my scenes were with

2:59

Emily , who played Agent Bishop , and

3:02

with Mark Harmon , who's also like the

3:04

show runner of the show and as

3:07

well as the lead . And

3:09

there was one scene , one scene I got

3:11

to have where it was . You

3:14

really get to drop in as an actor . Most

3:16

of the time as a guest star , it's like my line

3:18

okay , send it to the lead . But

3:20

there was one scene where I really

3:22

got to just talk to her and

3:25

I was talking to Carly , my wife , and she was like

3:27

you know , if you play this right , you

3:30

can add the subtext that

3:32

there's chemistry between the two of you . I

3:36

hadn't watched the show so I didn't know her character

3:38

was married , but I

3:40

played the scene that way . Mark

3:42

Harmon watched me do that

3:44

scene and

3:46

that was it . I felt really good about

3:48

it . The episode airs the

3:50

nighted airs . I get a untitled

3:53

call on my unknown call

3:55

on my phone , so I don't pick it up . I

3:58

get a message from Mark Harmon on

4:00

my phone being like you were great on the show

4:02

, we're going to bring you back . It's like

4:05

fantastic . I

4:07

know nothing about that . A

4:10

year later , nothing happens

4:12

. A whole season goes . I'm like all right , well , that's

4:14

Hollywood . But then all of a sudden they

4:16

call me back and they're like you're going to play

4:18

the boyfriend . I show up on

4:20

the set and I say what happened ? They were like

4:22

well , you had

4:24

such a good chemistry with Emily

4:26

that they wanted to make you the boyfriend

4:28

. They had the husband . They

4:31

added a storyline where the husband , you know

4:33

, had a , had a affair

4:35

or something like that , and then came back

4:37

and so was like the power of the subtext

4:40

in the acting . That was pretty cool . Wow , that's

4:42

a really cool story Very cool .

4:43

You would have an awesome tell all book at some

4:45

point . Oh God , you should think about it .

4:48

You know , I just realized this is live and I just told that story

4:50

. Hopefully

4:52

you're not watching .

4:54

So the reason we're bringing

4:56

in Rafi on today , it does directly

4:58

relate to some

5:00

of the stuff he just talked about . And here

5:03

we are in the reset challenge we're entering your week to . And

5:05

Rafi actually approached me about

5:08

bringing mindfulness to bison

5:10

, to crossfitters , right and really exclusively

5:13

to bison . And

5:15

we talked about , you know , my

5:17

performance and trying to find different ways to

5:19

improve myself . And then

5:21

we started relating it to the gym what can we

5:23

do to help the gym out ? And this has really been spurred

5:26

on by Rafi the idea

5:28

of trying to train the mind for

5:30

crossfitters and , in particular , bison

5:33

. And at

5:35

first , you know , I'll admit that

5:37

I have a little bit of an internal eye roll to it

5:39

because I'm not a meditating

5:41

type , I'm not

5:44

that deep of a thinker . When it goes into a dark

5:46

room and , you know , put my hands

5:48

up in the air and hum and hope that the

5:50

life's answers come my way . And

5:53

then , the more I talked about it , rafi

5:55

started to pick up on this pretty quickly that

5:57

I was intrigued Once he started saying

5:59

we spend all this time

6:01

training our bodies . How

6:03

often do you actually spend , how much time do you actually

6:05

spend training your mind ? And

6:08

part of this podcast

6:10

was teach about mindset . So it actually

6:12

made me look at myself in the mirror and

6:14

say is am I being a hypocrite

6:16

by saying , hey , we should be focusing on

6:18

mindset and we do talk about it a lot , but

6:21

are you actually training it ? Do

6:23

you have the tools to train it ? Do you know what to do when

6:25

you train it ? So long

6:27

story short . To wrap that up , it is a part

6:30

of it's an option to be a part of the

6:32

reset challenge here in 2024 for CrossFit

6:34

Bison , and Rafi has really taken

6:36

this task on very serious . He's

6:39

actually teaching a course at Columbia

6:41

. Is it this spring ? I keep forgetting . Yeah

6:43

, I started actually next week , awesome . So

6:46

this is something Rafi is really passionate about

6:48

sharing with others , and

6:50

I think it's going to be really important for us all

6:52

to dial in right now and focus in

6:55

on what he's saying , why

6:57

he's saying it and how it can help you . That's

7:00

really where I want everyone's perspective to be right now

7:02

, because , if you do pay attention , there's

7:04

an element maybe multiple elements to this that

7:07

can help you and your pursuit of fitness

7:09

and health period . It's that

7:11

simple , sam . I

7:13

always like to get your opinion on stuff . That is different

7:15

. This is different . You know , you've been here for a

7:17

long time . We've never even touched this

7:20

on this level . All

7:22

right , I mean , I have talked about mindset a lot , but

7:24

where does your mind go

7:27

immediately and be honest about this when we started

7:29

adding mindfulness training to the reset

7:31

challenge ?

7:33

I thought that this was perfect for CrossFit athletes

7:35

, because we are sort of

7:37

80D go , go , go , go fast

7:39

as you can . Everything has to

7:42

move quickly and there's

7:44

not a whole lot of you know

7:46

long thought or drawn

7:48

out thought . That goes into our

7:51

endeavors and in

7:53

the sport , and I think

7:55

most CrossFitters , when they start to get

7:57

deeper into it , they realize it's

8:00

not just physical ability , but it's

8:02

the mental part that really drives

8:04

us , whether it's satisfaction in our workouts

8:06

, whether it's thinking about our workouts , whether

8:10

it helps us feel better and

8:12

work on our mindset by working

8:14

out , and we start turning

8:17

towards our brains , and I

8:19

know I tried different things

8:21

as well . Yoga was one that I think , with breathing

8:24

and mindfulness , is one

8:26

way of approaching it . I

8:28

know top athletes . I never saw

8:30

someone be so mindful

8:33

as JJ McCarthy , the championship

8:36

winning quarterback for the Michigan

8:38

Wolverines this past year . He

8:40

, uh , you could see him . They would

8:42

feature him sitting

8:45

being mindful before a game at

8:47

the goal post and just being

8:50

and just engaging in

8:52

that same practice , and I think you'll see

8:54

a lot of top athletes also do that , and so

8:56

this is something that has come on really

8:58

strong in a lot of different sports and I was really

9:01

looking forward to seeing what

9:03

Rafi has to offer . I don't know a

9:05

whole lot about mindfulness myself , and so I

9:07

was really interested in learning more , Rafi

9:10

.

9:10

what is mindfulness ?

9:12

Well , we actually had a debate in our

9:14

training about it , but this is what we came

9:16

to . Mindfulness can be described

9:18

as learning to bring our attention

9:20

to the present moment by simply

9:23

seeing what arises , without bias

9:25

or judgment . That's

9:27

what mindfulness is . It's not

9:30

a lot

9:32

of misconceptions about mindfulness . Is that it's

9:34

therapy , it's that it's mental health

9:36

, it's that it's woo-woo

9:38

or whatever you want to call it . What

9:41

I just said is exactly what mindfulness

9:43

is . It's paying attention to

9:45

how we work and right now

9:47

that's it . And

9:49

so you could imagine , if you take

9:51

it step one , step two , step three , how

9:53

that could help in performance , how that could help

9:56

an athlete . Because what

9:58

we're trying to do as George Mumford

10:00

says , who wrote the Mindful Athlete , mindful

10:02

Athlete we're trying to cultivate the

10:04

zone right . The more

10:06

consistently we can get into the zone

10:09

, the better we're gonna be as

10:11

performers . And so we

10:13

can experience the zone , sometimes randomly

10:16

, all of a sudden , and we

10:18

start to dissect like how did we get there

10:20

? Was it what I ate ? Was it you

10:23

know ? Something that happened in my personal life

10:25

before , and we try and mentally

10:27

pinpoint it , but we didn't realize

10:30

, like there's so much more , there's

10:32

so much more complexity to it . And

10:35

so sitting there and doing a mindfulness

10:37

practice every single day allows

10:40

us to try and unpack

10:42

what it is that sets

10:45

us up to succeed . And

10:47

so the quarterback from Michigan

10:49

, or LeBron or Michael Jordan

10:51

, or any of these people that meditate , the

10:54

reason they're doing it every day is

10:56

to just stop , center

10:59

, see where they're at right

11:01

there , reconnect to their intention

11:03

and move forward .

11:06

Great , I love that answer . I'm probably

11:08

gonna replay that a few times once this episode

11:10

goes live . Why do you believe in it ?

11:14

Well , it's interesting that

11:17

Sam started this , because my

11:19

connection to mindfulness and my connection

11:22

to fitness literally

11:24

go hand in hand . It

11:27

started when my father

11:29

passed away and I

11:31

was depressed . I

11:34

had a lot of grief , and how

11:36

long ago was that ? I think it was maybe

11:38

four years ago . Okay , it was COVID

11:41

time Got it , and I was

11:43

in a rut like pretty bad , and

11:46

I didn't

11:48

really know how to get out of it . I'm gonna

11:50

give a shout out to one of my , to my best

11:52

friend , max Ozinski , another actor

11:54

. He plays Zava on Ted

11:56

Lasso . He was filming a

11:58

show , one of the

12:01

Walking Dead spinoffs , and I

12:03

went down to Richmond to go visit him . He

12:05

was really close with my dad as well . This

12:08

was maybe two weeks after and

12:10

we just had a nice cry . We talked about it

12:12

and Max

12:14

had been eating macros

12:16

for three years . He looks like a superhero

12:19

. He's like 5% body fat . He

12:21

even looked more ridiculous during

12:23

that time because he had to like take his shirt

12:25

off on on camera and

12:27

he was like Rafi , just just

12:30

exercise . I was like what

12:32

do you mean ? I do exercise , kind

12:34

of . He was like no , not swim . He's

12:36

like you need to commit to this . You

12:38

need to start eating macros

12:41

, you need to actually start lifting

12:43

heavyweight . And he was like I have

12:45

this trainer that was a

12:48

trainer for the movie Jurassic Park that

12:50

his wife was in and he was

12:52

like he's in London but he'll FaceTime train you . And

12:55

so Carly and I my wife this was

12:57

kind of still during COVID which helped

13:00

with the macros because we can control our food we

13:03

did it together and in

13:05

six months of lifting heavyweights and

13:09

eating macros at a deficit , I lost 40

13:11

pounds and

13:13

pounds . Yeah , I lost 40 pounds and I

13:16

got really , really strong and

13:19

it was something I could

13:21

focus on . It was something that I could put my energy into . And

13:25

, slowly but surely , what I started to

13:27

see in the gym as we could all relate

13:30

to progress , not

13:32

just like shedding weight , but I was doing pull ups , weighted pull ups , I

13:36

was deadlifting , I was squatting

13:39

, I was building up my body but building up my confidence

13:41

. And

13:44

then eventually it got to the point where I

13:46

looked really good for my career and I took

13:48

some photos . And then I had these photos

13:51

. I was staring at them and

13:56

I didn't know what to do with them . Everyone's

13:58

like put them on Instagram , you know , showcase how you look and

14:01

I couldn't do it . I just felt so vain and

14:08

I started to investigate , like what

14:10

, why was it that I was doing

14:12

this ? And yeah , okay , I was doing it because I was

14:14

like battling my grief , but

14:16

I didn't feel fulfilled at

14:18

all and I didn't know what to do . So

14:23

I kind of press pause on the macros . At that moment I was like , all right , I

14:25

got the photos in the can , that's great , but I really need

14:27

to investigate this . And

14:33

so I was drawn to . I had

14:35

been meditating a little bit but I was like I need a real change . So

14:41

I signed up for this seven day

14:43

silent meditation retreat

14:46

that focused on a particular

14:48

meditation technique called loving kindness meta in the Buddhist terms and

14:51

I was going to spend seven days sending

14:54

loving kindness towards myself and towards

14:56

others basically sending myself to love

14:58

prison . And

15:01

four days of doing that I lost my

15:04

mind . I kept wishing for COVID so they could

15:07

kick me out . I'm

15:09

not kidding . I really

15:11

was standing there in beautiful California doing

15:13

the mantra of loving kindness , which

15:15

is may I be happy , may

15:18

I be healthy , may I be safe

15:20

, may I be safe , may

15:25

I be at ease . And one day

15:27

I just out of my mind

15:29

. I said , may I have COVID so

15:32

I could escape this place ? And

15:34

I stopped in that moment , four days

15:36

of paying attention , and

15:39

I just looked at myself and was like you just

15:41

wished for COVID . You've been avoiding this thing

15:43

for two years . There's so

15:45

much complication . I just wished for COVID

15:47

so I could escape beautiful California and

15:50

just myself , literally

15:52

just my own mind . And

15:55

in that moment there was like a

15:57

weight lifted off my shoulders , like

15:59

a lot of my grief , just like poured

16:02

out of me . And I realized

16:04

the importance of meditation and

16:07

how , if I didn't have exercise

16:09

, it couldn't have built

16:12

up the strength for me to

16:14

be able to face my mind . And

16:16

so I really connect

16:19

the two together .

16:22

First of all , I can't believe your friends was Zava , because

16:25

that is a great character from Ted Lasso . He

16:28

was the superstar soccer player

16:30

that they bring in in the last season .

16:33

I tried to get him to drop in here the last time he visited

16:35

. He'll be back in two weeks . He said

16:37

hell , no , because

16:40

the workouts that they do , and that I did

16:42

have zero cardio involved . And

16:45

he , just like I would read my pretty

16:47

fast .

16:48

Yeah , he looks like a specimen . How

16:51

did you bring CrossFit into that

16:53

into your life then , once

16:55

you got to that point ?

16:57

So I knew that

17:00

just lifting heavy weight and

17:02

not doing anything cardiovascular

17:05

was fine

17:07

for , you know , vanity

17:09

sake , and I was strong and you

17:11

are working your heart . But it didn't

17:14

feel like enough and so

17:16

I started searching for different workouts

17:19

or different exercises . And

17:21

I had dropped in here once because

17:24

I'm friends with Dave Boke , mo

17:26

Boke , michelle and

17:29

Dan Fruciano , and they were talking

17:31

about bison all the time and I

17:33

felt left out and

17:36

so they called me CrossFit Curious

17:38

and so I just did

17:40

one of the Wednesdays I think Terry was the coach

17:43

and I came in and I'll

17:45

never forget it was like the wall balls and toast

17:47

to bar and some sort of running

17:49

and I was like , oh , I could

17:51

do this , I'm strong , I've been like doing 60

17:53

pounds off my belt pull ups and

17:56

I got destroyed . I

17:59

got capped out on the workout , like

18:02

badly , and I looked over at

18:04

the board and I saw Dave Boke had finished

18:06

it in like 15 minutes

18:08

and the cap was 24 . I was like what

18:11

, how is that even ? How

18:13

is that even actually physically possible

18:15

? I was like I need to figure this out if I

18:17

want to ever step back into this gym and

18:21

I was kind of afraid , to

18:23

be honest to come back . But

18:25

last year my

18:28

mother-in-law bought me a

18:30

10 pack to bison for

18:32

Christmas and I was like , all right

18:34

, well , let me

18:36

give these 10 classes a shot

18:38

. And I came in and

18:41

I started to really give it a chance

18:44

and there was a lot of

18:46

energy going on here because I think we had just

18:48

signed up for you

18:50

got the open announcement . As I'm staring at

18:52

this poster and everything , I was

18:54

like , wow , this is a community , everybody

18:56

loves each other . I was like I

18:59

think I could fit in here and I

19:01

pretty much drank the Kool-Aid because it

19:04

really exemplifies

19:06

everything that I was going for . It's

19:08

a mental test every

19:10

single day and it's a community

19:13

which really

19:15

is important to me . I

19:17

mean , in Tibetan Buddhism maybe

19:21

you'll see there's three bows

19:23

right when you walk into a shrine

19:25

hall . The first bow is towards

19:28

your teacher , the second bow is

19:30

towards the teachings and the third

19:32

bow is to the community , and

19:35

that really matters to me , and

19:37

so this place really exemplifies

19:39

that to me .

19:42

Performance you

19:44

are . Your career is performing . Yeah , camera

19:47

, lot of pressure , crossfit , whether

19:49

, no matter what . You're here for a

19:52

career , to screw . It's a performance every day , right

19:54

, and some are . That's why they're

19:56

here Scores , whiteboard weights , reps

19:59

. Others are here for help , but you're still

20:01

performing and you're still putting what you did

20:03

on a whiteboard . That's your name

20:05

for the whole world . Well , the bison world to see

20:07

. Can you

20:09

give me a couple similarities , because

20:12

you are one of very few that performs

20:14

for a living and then you're also a member

20:16

here . Some of the similarities between

20:18

the two performance related and

20:21

then where the mind helps or hurts in

20:23

that regard .

20:25

Well , I'm , you

20:27

know , here's a . Here's a quick little joke about

20:30

it is that I'm

20:32

trying to teach my eight year old son how

20:34

to fail and how to

20:36

fail gloriously , and how failure

20:38

is in fact the best

20:41

way to improve , because

20:43

if you put everything out there and

20:46

you don't succeed

20:48

or you don't match your

20:50

expectations , it gives

20:52

you the most amount of information

20:54

. And so he

20:57

had . He was having trouble failing one

20:59

time and my wife , who

21:02

is quick witted , she was

21:04

like oh , don't worry about it , daddy fails

21:06

for a living . And

21:09

it's true , I

21:11

literally put myself out there daily

21:14

, I'm auditioning daily , and

21:17

there's so much that's out of my control

21:19

. What people tell me I'm

21:21

not tall enough , I'm too tall , I'm

21:24

not good looking enough , he's too good

21:26

looking . I mean , it's literally the most ridiculous

21:29

reasons why you get or don't get a

21:31

job . And

21:33

so you , I , started to build

21:35

up that idea that failure

21:38

, or being exposed when

21:40

you give it everything that you've got

21:42

, is actually the only place you can

21:44

learn . And the fact

21:46

that we hold each other accountable here on

21:49

the whiteboard is exactly

21:51

that . If you're telling

21:53

the truth and you're doing all your reps and doing

21:55

everything that's

21:57

for you to say I did my

21:59

pit . I can be proud of that number , no

22:02

matter what it looks like next to somebody else

22:04

, because it represents everything

22:07

I got and there's a place where

22:09

I can grow , like that workout I told

22:11

you about . I got capped out

22:13

and a couple of days

22:16

ago I just did finish the workout with a 20

22:18

pound wall ball and I

22:20

scaled it in the open last year and

22:23

I can't believe that I've made it that far

22:25

. It doesn't feel like I did , but I was chipping

22:28

away . I was giving everything I

22:30

got in every workout , sometimes

22:32

to the point where you're like , oh my God , I might

22:34

die , but

22:37

I kind of crave that feeling

22:39

because I know there's a chance to

22:41

grow . So , if we're just looking at

22:43

it in terms of performance , that's

22:46

what I try and do with every audition

22:48

. I try and pay attention to

22:50

what I can control , being as

22:52

authentic as I possibly can be

22:54

every single time , because

22:57

if I do that and I don't

22:59

get the job , I can sleep

23:01

at night , and it's

23:03

always those times and that's where

23:05

mindfulness comes in for me where I'm

23:07

looking for some sort of validation

23:10

on my audition Is this

23:12

good , did you like this ? Where I know

23:14

I didn't give my all and

23:18

that's tough to look in the mirror and say

23:20

that to yourself . I

23:22

like to tell my students it's like being a

23:24

magician , where you like do

23:26

a trick and you're hoping everybody buys

23:28

it . That , to me

23:31

, is inauthentic . I'd rather

23:33

see somebody be true

23:35

, be real , have a moment really

23:37

happen on camera or on stage

23:39

and then live with that and

23:41

move forward . And that's kind of what people

23:43

do here at this gym , absolutely , and

23:46

that's inspiring to me . So

23:48

it's not like , oh , I'm not doing

23:51

my , I'm not reaching my potential

23:53

on the whiteboard or in my workout

23:56

because I'm not beating this person

23:58

or that person . It's quite

24:00

literally like I'm doing everything

24:02

I possibly can to grow and

24:04

trying to do this new skill

24:06

or anything like that , and the

24:08

progress is incremental and so

24:11

they really do align If

24:13

you look at like your performance

24:15

as maximizing

24:18

your own potential , because

24:20

I'm never gonna make the games , nor do

24:22

I have aspiration to make the games , but

24:24

I have the most aspiration to get as

24:26

far as I possibly can in my

24:28

own body , in my own mind

24:31

, so then I can relay

24:33

it to others . Hey , pay attention to this , I made

24:35

that same mistake . Or pay attention

24:38

to this and that's why I teach acting and

24:40

hopefully , you know , we'll be continuing

24:42

to teach mindfulness , that's

24:44

really authentic .

24:46

I think that really I

24:48

relate to that very strongly . I never really

24:50

thought about acting as

24:53

not being judged by others , cause

24:55

that's what I always thought . That would be Like you'd go

24:57

to an audition and you'd be very worried about what

24:59

other people , like the casting director

25:02

and the people in charge , would think

25:04

. But if you walk in as an actor and

25:06

you give your best performance , then

25:09

that's what counts

25:11

and that's the same thing as an athlete in CrossFit

25:13

when you come in , if you

25:15

are really bummed because you didn't beat you

25:18

know Jim by five seconds

25:20

, and that's how

25:22

you judge your own performance as opposed to . I

25:24

mean , of course you want to measure yourself against

25:27

someone , but you have to take away

25:29

the fact that you gave it your real effort

25:31

and you should be proud of that . That's

25:33

what you should be taking away from a

25:35

lot of things in life . Honestly , if

25:38

you look at what other people

25:40

are doing or if how

25:42

they judge you and that's a hard

25:44

thing for older

25:46

adults as well as young adults I mean I see

25:48

that both in my kids and in myself

25:51

all the time fighting that , that

25:53

urge to base

25:55

my satisfaction and happiness on

25:57

what other people are judging

25:59

me by .

26:00

And you know what's interesting about that I was . You

26:02

know I like to meditate before I do anything

26:05

like any type of performance , or you

26:07

know , before I came here , I sat for 20 minutes

26:09

and the thing that kept popping

26:12

up in my mind was

26:14

in Buddhism , there's this thing called the Brahma

26:16

Vihars , which are the four immeasurables

26:18

. The first one is

26:21

compassion . Well , the immeasurables

26:23

mean that no matter where you're at in your life

26:25

, whether you're dying , whether you're

26:28

just born , the well

26:30

cannot run dry . It's infinite

26:32

. So we could tap into any four of these

26:34

things at any time . The first one is compassion

26:37

. The second one is loving

26:39

kindness , which was that retreat that

26:41

I talked about . One of the another

26:43

one is equanimity , which is balance

26:46

. But the one that kept coming

26:48

back to me is appreciation

26:51

for others , appreciative

26:54

joy , and

26:56

if we really consider that , like actually

26:59

hoping that somebody

27:01

else is joyful , that

27:03

somebody else succeeds , like

27:07

that well will

27:09

not run dry . And if you

27:11

practice that , like hoping

27:14

that the person next to you in

27:16

your box does the best

27:18

that they can , you

27:20

like I know this sounds

27:22

really soft and woo-woo , but

27:25

it actually can be

27:27

the engine that drives you Absolutely

27:30

, and for me , that has become my

27:32

why and going back to like whether

27:34

this mindfulness stuff works or not

27:36

. I , you know , I'm

27:38

glad we talked about Max and Zava because

27:41

I had been spending

27:43

all this time sending him appreciative

27:45

joy , and he's another actor

27:48

too . We compete and I mean

27:50

we don't compete for the same roles , but we

27:52

compete . His success I

27:54

measure myself versus his success . We

27:57

left school together . We lived together

27:59

. He was doing better than me . You

28:01

know we've had times where we flip flop , but

28:04

I remember sitting there and he sent me his

28:06

audition tape for Zava and

28:08

when I watched it I burst

28:10

into tears of joy looking

28:13

at this audition tape and I was like he

28:16

just did the best he could and this

28:18

is so good , I

28:20

was so proud of him

28:22

. And then I stopped in that moment and was like , oh

28:25

my God , this stuff , this stuff is working

28:27

. I felt good that . I felt

28:29

good for him and I didn't think about myself

28:31

like , oh well , you're not gonna be

28:33

on Apple TV . It was like , no

28:36

, I want the people I love to succeed

28:38

and if I tapped into that

28:40

as my engine , I was like , wow

28:42

, that could really push me

28:45

forward . You know , a lot of

28:47

time we and I did I

28:49

attacked my workouts out of rage , out

28:51

of anger . My dad died . Screw

28:54

this , I'm gonna lift up that barbell . You

28:58

know F this Like why

29:00

did he die ? Why did he die so young

29:02

? You know I'm getting emotional and

29:05

that's

29:10

not sustainable . Let's just put it that way

29:12

. I started turning the

29:15

point of view going

29:17

to the other side of the coin , which was

29:19

like may everybody in this gym

29:21

, may everybody in my competition , do

29:24

the best that they possibly can

29:26

, because they are , just like me

29:28

, working their butt off trying

29:30

to succeed . They have dreams and

29:33

I want them to succeed too , because that pushes

29:35

me to be better .

29:38

I mean , I don't think we could have better words said

29:40

this time of year , sam right Very

29:42

far for our gym , the

29:44

emotion behind it and the sense of togetherness

29:47

that we have with what's coming up . You know it's

29:49

probably the biggest month of our calendar

29:51

as a gym the open . You

29:54

know there's a lot of modelfulness that

29:56

revolves around failing and how to respond

29:58

to failure . Can you touch on

30:00

, have you ever thought about this perspective of

30:02

the modelfulness that you need to have when you're

30:04

succeeding ? Do

30:07

you go down the path of when

30:10

I hit that barometer that I've

30:12

been reaching for ? What's next ? How

30:14

do I cope with success in a mindful kind of way ?

30:17

Well , it's interesting If you listen

30:20

to any famous actor , or

30:22

you know , I was just watching a documentary about

30:25

Sylvester Stallone , called Sly

30:27

, and he talks about how it's

30:29

really lonely on the top

30:32

of the mountain , the mountain

30:34

top that he had been going

30:36

and going and going to the top of the mountain

30:38

, and he got there and you're like

30:40

, well , what's next ? Right

30:42

, and if we're classifying that

30:44

as quote , unquote , success , you

30:48

can recognize that as being empty

30:50

and by saying it cannot

30:53

be about these superfluous

30:56

goals that we have , that

30:58

it has to be more , that it's

31:00

endless , right , that it's immeasurable

31:03

. And so , yes

31:05

, we could have goals , absolutely

31:07

, there's no doubt . We can put it in front of us , go

31:10

for that target . We could have a target on a workout

31:12

, we could do it . But when that happens

31:15

, we have to have the same

31:17

kind of equanimity , balance

31:19

that we have when things don't work

31:22

out as we do . When they do . That

31:26

it's just recognizing . That's another occurrence

31:28

that feels

31:30

good in this moment . But

31:33

that moment will change . And

31:35

if you start to not chase the

31:37

highs and

31:39

not , then the lows won't come

31:41

as much and then everything kind

31:43

of like is like Bruce Lee , like

31:45

water You're just flowing through

31:48

and that's why he

31:50

says that it's just like you can , in

31:52

that moment , flow and

31:54

then it's on to the next . What's

31:57

the next moment ? And that's what

31:59

mindfulness training is . Mindfulness

32:02

is paying attention to the present

32:04

moment by simply seeing what arises

32:06

, without bias or judgment . Literally

32:09

to the next , to the next .

32:11

So you're listening to Rafi , right now , you

32:14

don't have a pulse . If you're not intrigued by this

32:16

right now , it's really . It's

32:18

just opening up a lot of different doors

32:20

right now for a lot of people . So

32:23

, rafi , I'm intrigued . I

32:25

want to participate in this mindfulness training . Where

32:28

do I start ?

32:32

Well , you start by doing

32:35

it by listening to the 10 minutes

32:37

that I recorded for all of you at Bison

32:39

. But if you're not at Bison

32:41

or you're not listening

32:44

to the recording or anything like that , there

32:46

are so many resources out there that

32:48

teach mindfulness . I

32:51

would suggest making sure that the

32:53

mindfulness training that

32:55

you're going to get

32:57

comes from the

33:00

Buddhist lineage , because

33:02

there's and I'm not to

33:04

discredit any of the breath work or

33:06

any of these other things that are

33:08

out there , but the

33:10

specific mindfulness that

33:13

people are talking about , that they're studying , comes

33:16

from that lineage , and yoga is included

33:18

in that . That's mindful movement

33:21

, and so I would search mindfulness

33:25

taught by the

33:27

Insight Meditation Society or

33:30

John Kabat-Zen or

33:33

the Tibet House or any of these

33:35

places , or come

33:38

to me or any other certified

33:40

mindfulness instructor to learn from

33:43

the lineage of Buddhism mindfulness

33:46

. Buddhism can be touchy

33:51

because it's a quote , unquote religion , but

33:53

what we're doing you're not devoting

33:56

to the religion . Buddhism is non-theistic

33:58

, it's secular . It's the

34:00

practice of mindfulness that's in

34:02

the foundation of Buddhism . So

34:05

you're not going to become a Buddhist by practicing mindfulness

34:08

. In fact , I'm not a Buddhist , and

34:10

so mindfulness

34:12

you can really just listen to me right now . It's

34:15

three simple steps and you can do

34:17

this on your own . You have to make

34:19

sure you find a seat that's

34:21

comfortable , upright

34:23

, but not uptight . Stop

34:26

pausing that position . Step two

34:28

pay attention to your breath . Don't

34:31

control it , and when your mind

34:34

wanders , label it , thinking

34:36

, notice it and come back to the breath

34:38

. That's it . Let's

34:40

repeat Do that every single

34:43

day and you will start to see some

34:46

sort of benefits of paying attention

34:48

.

34:49

What do you think about all of these apps

34:51

that are available that purport

34:54

to help with mindfulness , or how

34:56

does this relate to meditation itself ?

34:59

I think there's a lot of great apps

35:01

out there Headspace

35:03

, calm , 10% , happier

35:05

, waking Up . They all say the same

35:07

thing , and so find who

35:10

speaks to you . But

35:13

what I'm referring to , if you

35:15

hear something similar to what I'm

35:17

saying , which is paying attention to

35:19

the breath and coming back , then you know you're

35:21

doing mindfulness training on whatever

35:24

app that you're on . I think they're all beneficial

35:26

.

35:27

And Howard Stern always talks about transcendental

35:29

meditation . How does that relate ? Is that adjacent

35:32

? Is that the same thing ?

35:33

to you . That's adjacent , that's a different thing

35:35

. That's extremely helpful . A lot

35:37

of celebrities and a lot of famous people do that

35:39

. Transcendental meditation

35:41

is a mantra that you're constantly

35:43

saying to send you into

35:46

a little bit of a trance , but

35:48

it's not paying

35:51

attention , which is the difference . Like

35:54

, transcendental meditation might be relaxing

35:56

and it might clear the mind , but

35:58

what ? Mindfulness can actually be quite

36:01

frustrating because it's very

36:03

active . You're

36:05

allowing things to present themselves

36:08

, but you're alert . And

36:10

I know we're sitting there with our eyes closed

36:12

, but you're very alert

36:14

. In fact , your head is

36:16

constantly spinning

36:18

.

36:20

Is this something that someone needs to plan

36:22

out morning , night , x . Amount of

36:24

time it's

36:26

for the reset challenge ? It's 10 minutes , but

36:28

thinking beyond just the reset challenge

36:31

, would you be putting a cap on

36:33

how long you need to really get the most out

36:35

of this ?

36:36

Well , the studies are showing that

36:39

20 minutes a day is

36:41

the recommended

36:44

dose . I guess you can say that's

36:46

where they've been doing the studies that anything

36:49

before 20 minutes is

36:52

helpful , but it really doesn't give

36:54

the same benefit , and

36:57

that's a lot . It's

36:59

hard to sit for 20 minutes a day and

37:01

find 20 minutes a day , but

37:04

, just like any other habit

37:06

that you want to that you're really

37:08

interested in developing , you

37:10

got to sacrifice something else , and

37:12

for me personally it was social media . I

37:15

recognized after one of my retreats

37:19

that social media was eating

37:21

up a lot of my time . And

37:23

they said on the retreat they're like all this great

37:25

stuff that you're feeling , or negative stuff , if you

37:27

want to continue , if you

37:29

, you have to practice and you got to make

37:31

time for it , and so something's

37:34

gotta go , something's gotta give or

37:36

you need to change your perspective on what

37:38

time is . And so I

37:41

dedicate 20 minutes , no

37:43

matter what . 365

37:46

, sometimes more , but

37:49

not 365 , sometimes

37:51

more than 20 minutes a day to

37:53

meditating . I

37:56

it's non-negotiable for me . It

37:59

is something that I will do if

38:01

I have to wake up at four am , because I gotta

38:03

work out here at five and then I gotta go to set

38:05

for the rest of the day . I

38:08

will do that to meditate . It's

38:10

my job . I treat it like it's my job

38:12

and I treat working out like

38:14

it's my job too , because quite literally

38:16

, it is .

38:19

In terms of pushing the needle . You

38:21

know I'm only about I

38:23

don't know about 10 days into it and

38:25

you know Rafi checks around me How's

38:28

it going and I'm very honest with my answers

38:30

about it . And I

38:32

think I just wanna give a little experience of

38:34

what I've been going through with the week because

38:37

I think others , based on who I

38:39

talk to I talk to a few people about the mindfulness . I've

38:41

heard this a couple times too that

38:43

one of my struggles being a rookie at this

38:45

is I do like

38:48

the quietness , I like that . I'm making

38:50

myself do it . It makes me feel like I'm being disciplined

38:52

. But I have so many thoughts

38:54

racing through my head while I'm doing it and

38:56

instead of me being present

38:58

with myself , I'm trying to think about all the problems

39:00

. You know . Put out this fire , put out that fire . I got

39:03

water in my basement , my son is sick , my

39:05

body hurts . We're changing

39:07

up the schedule . This person's out next week . We gotta find

39:09

like that is what enters my mind during

39:11

this mindfulness training , where I'm trying to solve problems

39:13

rather than looking

39:16

at it from the mindfulness perspective . And I know it's

39:18

this like CrossFit . It's not something you click

39:20

your fingers and you're there Like I'm not gonna be on

39:22

Rafi's level . I'm not going to be able to

39:24

RX this right away . You

39:27

know what ? Can you tell someone like me

39:29

and others that feel

39:32

like , all right , maybe I'm just not cut out for this ? What's

39:34

your response ?

39:36

My response is that you're wrong . You are cut

39:38

out for this . Every single

39:40

person is . And I

39:43

had been thinking about this coming on this podcast

39:45

and I was like , oh , you know what if they start talking

39:47

about the downsides ? And I was like there's actually

39:49

no downside

39:51

except you lost

39:53

10 minutes of your day Quite

39:56

, literally no downside . So

39:58

whatever downside that comes up in your

40:00

mind self-generated

40:03

, right , completely . And

40:05

so what I would say to you and to

40:07

others that are feeling that way ? You're

40:10

not alone . Every single person feels

40:12

that way , even the monks on the hill

40:14

, they're still feeling

40:17

that way . There is doubt . It's the

40:19

human condition . Am I doing

40:21

this right ? Chasing

40:23

a feeling ? Because you may get

40:25

there , you may have a state of bliss and be

40:27

like that's it . I wanna

40:29

go for that again . I wanna go for

40:31

that feeling Every time

40:34

you notice that

40:36

you're being frustrated or you have plans or

40:40

you've got something to do . That's

40:42

a moment of mindfulness . You're doing it

40:44

right . I saw someone in the gym the

40:46

other day . It's like I can't just I can't stop thinking

40:48

. I'm like , well , are you noticing that

40:51

? And she said , yeah , I said you're doing

40:53

it . I know that's frustrating

40:55

to hear , but the more and more

40:58

you recognize that that's how

41:00

you operate , dave , and maybe others

41:02

and probably all of us the

41:06

more you're in control of it . That

41:09

when it pops up , oh my God , I'm planning

41:11

, I'm clinging to the

41:13

fact that I have all this stuff I

41:16

need to do Then you start to

41:18

see that's my habit we

41:20

were talking about this earlier that before

41:22

you started doing mindfulness , that was happening

41:25

too . The only difference is

41:27

now you're paying attention to it and

41:29

so you're now in control

41:31

, like if we're talking about this as training , you're

41:34

now in control of the fact that you

41:36

are thinking that way , because

41:38

now you have recognized it the

41:41

Wizard of Oz , the curtain has been pulled . You're

41:43

like that is how I work , that's

41:45

who I am , that's

41:48

been conditioned into me by

41:50

my own need to survive , which

41:52

is the human condition . And the more

41:55

and more you notice that , you

41:57

start to see the things that are in your way

41:59

and you start to clear the cobwebs , because

42:01

the things that are in your way , you've

42:04

put them there , I've

42:06

put them there , we've all put them there . And

42:08

so maybe , if we look at that

42:10

with a little bit of compassion , we can be like all

42:13

right , well , I don't need that

42:15

anymore . I don't need that

42:17

anymore . And I'm not talking about physical

42:19

things like Instagram or whatever although

42:22

getting rid of some of that stuff could help

42:24

but I'm talking about psychological

42:26

stuff , which is , man , I don't really

42:28

need to create that narrative

42:31

about myself Like

42:33

that was serving me in college or

42:35

that was serving me as a young adult

42:38

, but I don't need

42:40

that anymore .

42:41

That is true . I see a lot of people with preconceptions

42:44

about themselves that I think hold

42:46

them back in terms of their capabilities

42:48

, and me , too , I know that . What

42:51

do you think about people who say , okay , I'm gonna do this

42:53

, I'm gonna have a glass of wine or

42:55

two before I start my mindfulness , or

42:58

a little edible might help me

43:00

a lot with this . Is that something that is

43:02

helpful ? Not helpful .

43:05

I would say not helpful just because we're

43:07

trying to have a clear mind . Not

43:10

that I don't participate in any

43:12

of those things or haven't

43:14

before , but I think what a

43:17

lot of people who are seekers , who are trying

43:19

to get something fixed inside of their mind

43:21

or know they need something fixed , they're

43:24

attracted to drugs or they're attracted

43:26

to a stimulant because it

43:28

does unlock a part of consciousness

43:31

that they can't tap into normally

43:33

. But the reason why I gravitated

43:36

towards mindfulness is because I

43:38

wanted a tool that I

43:40

could use at any time , anywhere , that

43:43

I knew how I got

43:45

there . And so if you

43:48

take an edible or anything like that , not

43:50

that you can't meditate under

43:53

the influence , it's just not

43:55

the actual clarity that you

43:57

could have in your everyday life , because

43:59

you're not gonna take an edible and then go do

44:01

a wad . I mean you might , but

44:03

right , you know it's

44:05

not gonna be the best idea . So

44:08

it's like don't do it while you're meditating

44:10

, because we're trying to train the mind . You

44:13

know , if we're doing it for performance , we're

44:15

trying to do the same thing here

44:19

and there , right , Stimulant

44:21

free .

44:23

Rafi , this was awesome . Man Sam

44:26

, do you have any closing thoughts on mindfulness

44:28

, what it can do for us as people , us as

44:30

crossfitters right , we don't wanna just think about crossfit

44:33

perspective , but

44:35

any combination of the two .

44:36

I think it's probably one of the hardest things

44:39

for people to challenge . I know the

44:41

farther along I go in it , I realize

44:43

, as Rafi said , breaking down

44:45

the things that are preconceived in my mind

44:47

so hard , I

44:49

recognize that I'm starting to recognize them

44:51

but actually sort of facing them . They're

44:54

crutches that I have relied on

44:56

for so long in terms of getting , like

44:58

Rafi said , getting by through so many situations

45:00

and I don't

45:02

know if I have

45:04

the you know strength

45:07

to do that some days and I

45:09

think for all of us . If you

45:12

know , I actually came into reset

45:14

, not planning on doing it , but after talking to

45:16

you today , I'm gonna start . I'm

45:19

gonna start today and

45:21

One subscriber . I got

45:23

two right here and

45:26

I'm going to start with the

45:28

scaled version and see where

45:31

that takes me . I don't think I'm gonna like a lot

45:33

of what I see . Like Dave said , there's you

45:35

know , I feel like that's going to start . That's

45:38

going to be the tough start for me , but

45:40

let me stick through it , through reset and

45:42

I'll see what happens with that .

45:45

Yeah , echo that , that it's

45:47

definitely not something that I would naturally do on

45:49

myself , and this part of what we preach here at

45:51

reset is trying something new that could

45:53

help you know , help you in the long run . And

45:56

one thing Rafi said to me

45:58

as I was starting this is like you really have to lean

46:00

into who you are , you know , not run away from

46:02

it . And I think that's one

46:04

of the most important things that we

46:06

all need to know if

46:08

we're trying to pursue betterment of anything , whether

46:11

it be physical , mental , emotional , combination

46:13

of the three . You really have to truly lean into

46:15

who you are , be present with who you are , know who you

46:17

are , and not run away from it

46:19

. Because , just

46:21

like anyone that would come into the gym looking

46:24

for a new fitness program , I would never look at

46:26

them and say , hey , you're a little too old to

46:28

start here , you're a little too out of shape

46:30

to start here . I would never say that

46:32

to anyone because I truly don't believe it

46:34

and

46:37

it would be foolish of me to say , hey , I'm a little

46:39

too experienced in life , I'm too old , I have

46:41

too much going on , I am not good enough

46:44

mentally to take this

46:46

on . So I'm really glad that

46:48

I'm leaning into it . I'm glad that Rafi's a resource

46:50

. I'm glad that he's putting himself out there , very grateful

46:52

and I know others are as well and I'm

46:54

really looking forward to where this brings me and

46:56

others who would have thought that a professional

46:58

actor as our guest would have been the realist person

47:01

on our podcast .

47:02

Yeah , Well , you

47:04

know , there's a lot of misconceptions about acting

47:06

too , and I think that

47:08

that's one of the things that you

47:11

know . People don't really think about that If

47:13

an actor is , you know , being

47:15

a magician , if we're trying to fake it , then

47:18

you're not gonna feel it . Our job

47:20

is not to lie . It's to reveal

47:22

the human condition authentically , so

47:25

it could help you . That's why I got into

47:27

it to begin with .

47:29

I have a feeling we're gonna see Rafi on here again , sam Hope

47:31

. So Thank you guys . I'll see you

47:35

next week . Thank you everybody for taking the time out of your

47:37

day to listen to the Herdfit podcast

47:39

. Be on the lookout for next week's episode

47:41

.