0:00

Why do I keep attracting the same

0:02

men in my life? Or why do

0:04

I keep attracting this kind of person

0:06

in my community? Or why does this

0:08

thing keep happening over and over again?

0:10

It's like, well, you're the common denominator.

0:12

So like, what are you doing or

0:14

allowing energetically or otherwise to make that

0:16

happen? Welcome to the Influencer Podcast. I'm

0:18

your host, Julie Solomon. If

0:20

you found yourself here, it means you are

0:22

ready to unleash the powerful visionary that lives

0:24

inside you, turning you into

0:27

an authentic leader who creates

0:29

influence, impact, and change. Let's

0:32

get started. Hi, Allie. Hi,

0:34

friend. It's so good to be back here with

0:36

you. I know. It's so good. And it's so,

0:38

so wild to think. I feel like a big

0:40

theme for me over this last year has been

0:43

getting back to basics or whatever basic is to

0:45

me. When I think about basics in terms of

0:47

my business and brand, I think back to like

0:49

2016, 2017, which

0:52

is when we first met, you and I

0:54

had the gift of being in a mastermind

0:57

together. It was the very first mastermind I

0:59

was ever in. I don't know if it was your

1:01

first mastermind. Yeah. And it was

1:03

a really beautiful group of women. And

1:05

it was like, I guess in the

1:08

online years, it

1:10

was early on, I guess, like 2017, early

1:12

on. But it's been

1:14

fun. It's been fun to kind of like, you

1:17

know, I kind of think about you and I

1:19

think you were on my podcast early on too,

1:21

because I launched my podcast in 2017 and that's

1:23

when I met you. So it's nice to kind

1:26

of have you back on. And I know so

1:28

much has changed since then. So it's like getting

1:30

back to basics to me is also like a

1:33

nice resurgence of what I, what I think

1:35

is, is really like the root and purpose

1:37

of this show. So I'm excited to have

1:39

you here. Yeah. And just coming full

1:41

circle kind of like so far, at

1:43

least starting out together so early, like

1:45

we were babies and like, didn't know

1:47

anything. And now having both gone

1:50

through so much and then come back to

1:52

talk business again is really cool. It is

1:54

really cool. And so with that to say,

1:56

Ali, you know, if those listening don't know

1:58

who you are yet, which you. have probably

2:00

seen Ali or seen

2:02

her brand at some point in time

2:04

because she's been doing this for a

2:07

long time. I would love for you

2:09

to share just a quick little synopsis

2:11

of who you are, who you serve,

2:13

and where that is in your corner

2:15

of the internet. So I serve women

2:17

who are done with the old way,

2:19

especially mothers unsubscribe from kind of like

2:21

the typical hot mess culture,

2:24

the I have to be overwhelmed, I

2:26

have to take everything on, do everything

2:28

myself and do it all perfectly and

2:30

you're just choosing to unsubscribe from that exhaustion.

2:33

I started out kind of being the

2:36

decluttering queen and

2:38

having the declutter like a mother challenge

2:40

every January. We're about to do it

2:42

again. I think this is like our

2:45

eighth or ninth one. Things

2:48

like that, just super fun, like

2:50

getting people together, getting them excited

2:52

to just remove blocks physically. Then

2:55

that kind of translated over into metaphorically

2:57

and decluttering in that way and

3:00

your calendar and your time and

3:02

your energy, your boundaries. Then

3:05

that got deeper and I started

3:07

getting certified in different things that

3:09

helped me in therapy and we

3:11

started decluttering like our trauma and

3:13

our unconscious blocks and basically just

3:15

created this brand based on this

3:18

method that makes women lighter.

3:22

As a group, we're all just

3:24

choosing that, understanding that stress

3:26

is a choice that we're no longer

3:28

available for making. It goes

3:30

into life and business and all the things.

3:33

I love that. I love that. It's like

3:35

when I think about that, like getting back to basics for

3:37

Allie, it's really like the problem that you solve for people

3:39

is clutter, but it just doesn't

3:41

mean like the clutter in your closet. It's

3:45

mind, body and spirit, the clutter.

3:49

Can you share with us a little

3:51

bit about the journey of declutter and

3:54

from when you first started to how

3:56

that has evolved and looks like now? I

3:58

think that a lot of those that listen

4:00

to this podcast, whether they are just getting

4:02

started, or whether they're pretty advanced, and they've

4:04

been at this for a while, like you

4:06

and I have, there is

4:09

this myth or this belief system, if you

4:11

will, that evolution is, you

4:13

know, not

4:16

possible, or it's a detriment, or if

4:18

I decide to do this one thing,

4:20

that means that I'm going to

4:22

be pigeonholed, or like, it's just always going

4:24

to look like this, which as we know,

4:26

that it would be impossible, because as you

4:29

grow and evolve, obviously, everything you touch will

4:31

grow and evolve. So can you share how

4:33

that evolution for you has always been, while

4:35

also keeping that through line?

4:37

Because I think, to me, when I think

4:39

of you, and how the way that you've

4:42

been able to build the mega monster amazing

4:44

business that you have, and the community that

4:46

you have, is because you have

4:48

stayed consistent with that problem that you solve,

4:50

and with that fruit through line, and with

4:52

who that is for. That's such a good

4:55

conversation to start. Like I said, I started

4:57

with physical clutter. That was my

4:59

story. That was my experience. I had

5:01

written a post that went viral, which

5:04

we talked about that intentional virality in

5:06

our first episode together. It

5:08

was huge because women, mothers were,

5:10

we were starting this epidemic of

5:12

burnout. Now, you know, we call

5:14

it the mental load, and there's

5:16

studies being done on the mental

5:18

load on mothers, and how it

5:20

is quite literally killing us. And

5:22

it's just very normal to, you

5:24

know, have all this junk

5:27

you don't need, and then have a storage

5:29

unit full of more junk you don't need

5:31

that you pay for, and possibly another one,

5:33

even though the house you live in is

5:35

two, three thousand plus square feet. Like it

5:37

was just the beginning of this, like I

5:39

said, this epidemic, this huge

5:41

problem, this weight that women were, that people

5:43

had that were falling to the mothers. I

5:45

thought that was it. That's all I was

5:47

going to do. But then I personally,

5:50

after the virality, after the business

5:52

grew, after I had rode that

5:54

wave and turned it into a

5:56

lucrative company, I personally was like,

5:58

well, I was a student. stay at home mom.

6:01

Now I'm a business owner and

6:03

I have really little kids. The time I started

6:05

my business, I have four kids and my youngest

6:07

was just a baby. He was breastfeeding, not sleeping

6:10

at night. It was, and I had three toddlers.

6:12

All of my kids were born in five years.

6:15

So I am doing something this year that

6:17

I have never done before. And I want

6:19

you to join me for it. It is

6:21

a free five day brand

6:23

building bootcamp. Now all you have

6:25

to do is go to juliesellaman.net/bootcamp

6:27

to get the details. But I

6:30

want to let you know that if you

6:32

are someone who is already saying, you don't

6:35

have the time this year, you don't

6:37

know the best next step to take

6:39

or you just need someone to hand

6:41

you an actionable game plan, this brand

6:43

building bootcamp is for you. It is

6:46

time to re-clarify your brand strategy, remove

6:48

content overwhelm and create a sustainable business.

6:50

And this is what the brand building

6:52

bootcamp is a lot about. Why I'm

6:54

inviting you to this free virtual event.

6:56

I'm going to be showing you how

6:58

to solidify your strategy so that this

7:01

year is finally when you solidify your

7:03

audience and revenue without being drowned out

7:05

by the noise of every online marketer

7:07

telling you that their program are there,

7:09

this or that will solve your problems.

7:11

During the free five day brand building

7:13

bootcamp, you will clarify your brand strategy

7:15

and message, remove the overwhelm of content

7:18

creation so you can monetize your brand

7:20

and scale sustainably. By the end of

7:22

our time together, you're going to have

7:24

a clear direction on your content strategy

7:26

for the rest of the year, tools

7:28

to increase your social media presence and

7:30

an easy to implement brand growth strategy that

7:32

you can put into action immediately. Did share

7:35

some of these strategies last year in a

7:37

small session that I did. And there was

7:39

an incredible woman, Stacey Asis, who is a

7:41

digital creator. And this is what she said

7:43

about what I'm sharing with you during this

7:45

bootcamp. She said, Julie, I just wanted to

7:48

say that since your free trainings, I have

7:50

learned my unique value, figured out how I

7:52

wanted to niche down, and only two weeks

7:54

later, I have grown by almost 3000 followers

7:57

and my engagement is out the roof. just

8:00

hit the 10K mark, I am

8:02

already seeing crazy proof that it

8:04

works. I mean, do we need

8:07

to hear anything more? Just go

8:09

to juliesolomon.net/bootcamp to save your free

8:11

seat and do it soon because

8:13

the bootcamp starts on February 14th.

8:16

Yes, Valentine's Day, my friends, and you will only

8:18

be able to get into it for the next

8:20

couple of weeks. So don't miss out. At

8:23

this time when I'm running the business, I think my youngest

8:25

was like, you know, a year and a

8:27

half too. So they're all really little. And I'm

8:29

just like, okay, I need to declutter

8:31

like my life, like my calendar, my

8:33

time, how do I run this business

8:35

and doing my webinars and growing and

8:38

my social media and like all of

8:40

it. And I figured that out for

8:42

myself because there wasn't an answer. All

8:44

of this that we're doing, these online

8:46

businesses and courses and stuff was so

8:49

new. Nobody was teaching it. So

8:51

I figured it out for myself. And then it was like,

8:53

of course I have to share this. So

8:56

every step that I've taken in my

8:58

personal life shows up in my business

9:00

once I've mastered the craft. And

9:03

that's how I see my job is I am

9:05

here to find the gaps, build

9:08

bridges over them, and then like

9:10

put out a flare. Like it's right here.

9:13

Look, I figured it out and like walk

9:15

other women over that bridge and show them

9:17

how to build it for themselves. And talking

9:20

about getting pigeonholed, I very much have felt

9:22

that throughout my entire career.

9:25

I've seen it on the

9:27

internet about me. I have seen it show

9:29

up directed towards me in my DMs or

9:31

in like when I do a lot of

9:33

question boxes and stuff on my Instagram, like

9:35

I'm very much in my

9:37

audience and still say things like, I just

9:39

want you to stop asking what else we

9:42

want and just go back to decluttering. Like

9:44

remember your roots, remember what you can't like.

9:46

There's people that are very passionate about that

9:49

and don't want me to talk about anything else. But

9:52

as I was building this business, as I

9:54

was growing and evolving, as I was raising

9:56

my kids and traveling and

9:59

moving and. And coming into

10:01

money for the first time, like I

10:03

was finding major

10:06

unconscious beliefs

10:08

that were not serving me that I was

10:10

clearing. I was going to therapy. I

10:12

was diagnosed with PTSD from literally

10:15

poverty trauma from before I had my

10:17

business because we were not okay. I

10:20

was going into somatic therapies and

10:23

learning about what your inner child

10:25

means and how to have a

10:27

relationship with her and heal her.

10:30

I was practicing emotional freedom technique,

10:32

which I'm now certified in and

10:34

I'm obsessed with and clearing layers

10:36

of anxiety and issues. Like

10:39

of course I'm going to share that. It's

10:41

a personal brand and I'm the person.

10:44

So what I am comes

10:47

out of me and flows for the

10:49

benefit of the audience and it's not

10:51

up to them. They can take

10:53

it or leave it. And that's what

10:55

I had to learn. So I feel

10:57

like what people need to understand is

10:59

that being a personal brand will put

11:01

you in direct conflict with any people

11:03

pleasing tendencies that you have and

11:06

it has to die or

11:08

your brand will because you're going to be, I

11:10

was fake for years and I was miserable because

11:12

of it. Oh, that's so, so good. And

11:16

you being able to decide

11:18

what that is for you or what

11:20

that looks like for you throughout each

11:23

process is what made it more and more

11:25

authentic. And so can you share a little

11:27

bit about what your brand looked like from

11:30

your perspective and now that you have a

11:32

different perspective of it, looking back when

11:34

you felt and you probably

11:36

weren't conscious to it at the time, but looking back

11:39

to say like that was not my

11:41

authentic self. That was me putting on a mask

11:43

and like showing up to the world in the

11:45

way in which I thought I needed to in

11:47

order to build a

11:49

personal brand versus this

11:51

is who I am and this is, this is my purpose.

11:53

This is my why. This is what I'm called on this

11:56

earth to do. And this is how I show up now

11:58

for me. It very much looked like. Staying

12:00

practical when I would like give advice,

12:02

answer questions, do live streams, create a

12:04

new course, I would be fighting the

12:07

urge to get into the spiritual and

12:09

the, you know, quote,

12:11

woo, fighting the urge to share what

12:13

I knew was the truth. Because

12:16

I had never publicly talked like that before. My

12:18

brand was very literal, practical, practical. You declutter this,

12:20

you do this. So people would ask me a

12:23

question, and of course I can't think of an

12:25

example off the top of my head, but they

12:27

would ask a question and it was

12:29

like, I didn't know this at the time,

12:31

but I would straight up be like channeling. It's

12:34

because she's feeling like this or she believes this

12:36

about herself. She doesn't feel worthy of ease. You

12:39

need to tell her to work

12:41

on getting comfortable with ease and

12:43

flow and letting things be easy.

12:46

And instead I'd be like, well, it

12:48

sounds like you just have too much going on. So

12:50

you need to just simplify. Like I would go back

12:53

to the practical because that was safer

12:56

and it was expected from me. Everything

12:59

else felt like I'd have to

13:01

over explain what I know and

13:03

why I'm saying that. And sometimes

13:05

you can't explain your gift.

13:08

It doesn't need an explanation. It just needs room

13:10

to be. And

13:13

I didn't know that that was okay. I

13:15

felt unqualified. I felt like I would be

13:17

judged. And really, you know, I was just

13:20

judging myself. So

13:22

I would hide behind the practical and

13:25

suppress the spiritual and the

13:27

feelings that I would get. Like

13:30

I would literally feel attached to someone

13:32

in my webinar chats and

13:34

know she needs to hear this. Are

13:37

you going to give it to her or not? And

13:39

I would always choose not to. And

13:41

then even when I started, I couldn't do

13:44

it anymore. Like it was like, this is

13:46

like, it's crazy, but I got strep throat

13:48

every month for like a year. And

13:50

I couldn't get it figured out. They were like planning

13:52

to do this surgery. Literally

13:55

was stifling my voice and making myself sick. Every

13:57

time I would be about to start my cycle,

13:59

I would get stressed. I'd never had

14:01

stress my entire life and I haven't since. So

14:04

it was like very literally like

14:06

manifesting in my body as like

14:09

suppressing, hiding, muting, editing. And I

14:12

had been edited my whole life as a child.

14:15

I was just doing what I knew. You don't

14:17

talk about that. You don't get into that. And

14:19

so I was not being myself. And then I

14:21

would, so I was like, okay, I have to

14:23

say, I had to start to share these things.

14:26

So I would give little bits, but

14:28

I would do it in a way

14:30

that felt very safe, very vanilla. I'm

14:33

a hard hitter. I'm a truth

14:35

speaker. I'm very direct. Like it's,

14:38

it's my gift. It's my personality. It's my

14:40

brand as a person. And it should have

14:43

been my brand as a brand, but I

14:45

was hiding. So I would water

14:47

things down, make it very sugar coated

14:49

and vanilla and safe. I wouldn't cause

14:51

I wouldn't, I wasn't being myself. I

14:54

talk the way I talk in my personal

14:56

life. And I would come on the internet

14:58

and just be like, Susie's sweetheart.

15:00

Like it's just not me. So yeah,

15:02

I just, I was just muting myself.

15:04

I was hiding and covering up. And

15:06

then it got to a point where

15:08

I was shoving so much

15:11

down and hiding so much

15:13

to cover up. I got physically sick,

15:15

even sicker. And then I started

15:18

resenting my audience and resenting my

15:20

business, resenting my team and hated

15:22

going to work, hated doing

15:24

everything, delegating things that really needed to

15:26

be me. I just didn't want to

15:28

be there. I was just done. And

15:31

it was because I wasn't being myself.

15:33

And that's exhausting. Oh, so, so good.

15:35

And so relatable. So, so, so relatable.

15:38

Was there a specific moment? It might've

15:41

been a series of rock bottoms or

15:43

just like one major rock bottom, but what

15:45

was the moment that you finally said, okay,

15:49

my reason for not

15:52

showing up is no

15:54

longer greater than the excuses

15:56

that I have. And it's like, I, I'm so sick

15:58

and tired of being so sick. sick and tired

16:01

that I have to make a

16:03

change. What was that catalyst for

16:05

you? I had a moment where

16:07

I realized that like my worst

16:09

fear is in authenticity. Like if

16:11

somebody misinterprets me, I

16:13

don't feel this anymore. But I used to just feel

16:15

like, Oh my god, I gotta make this right. Like,

16:18

I, oh my god, no, like it would kill

16:20

me for me to be

16:23

inauthentic or be perceived that way. And it's

16:25

crazy because that's what I was doing the

16:27

whole time. But I just, I didn't realize

16:30

it, if that makes sense. So it was

16:32

like, I know I'm a good person with

16:34

a good heart. And I care about people.

16:36

So to for people to know that I

16:38

have to be really sweet and act very

16:41

vanilla and be very safe and make sure

16:43

everyone likes me. But that's not it at

16:45

all. It's actually just showing up and being

16:47

fully yourself and understanding that to be magnetic

16:49

magnets also repel the shit out of a

16:52

lot of things, but they attract what

16:54

is meant for them. So to be magnetic,

16:56

you also have to be repellent and, you

16:58

know, push other things away.

17:01

So before I got that, I had

17:03

this moment where I just was like,

17:05

I am

17:07

not being authentic. Like my

17:09

worst fear is being realized. And I

17:12

did it to myself, trying

17:14

not to do it. Like it

17:16

was such a, it's so obvious when

17:18

I'm explaining it right now. But then

17:21

it was like, I realized how unhappy

17:23

I was in my business, my dream.

17:25

Like I was living my dream life

17:27

and making money, like really

17:29

good money that I never even knew

17:32

people could make. And I

17:34

had everything set up. I was everything was, I

17:36

was working very little, but I

17:38

was avoiding everything. I was

17:40

avoiding my purpose. I had a cash

17:42

cow and not a purpose

17:44

anymore. And I knew that what

17:47

I would need to do is take a break and

17:50

come back and pivot. And that

17:52

that was going to hurt my money because pivots

17:54

do that, but they're worth it if they're aligned.

17:56

So that was it for me. It was like,

17:58

I'm miserable. I hate this,

18:00

like sitting at my desk, doing

18:03

what was once my dream and just being

18:05

like, I hate this. And

18:07

I was like, so my thing is always like,

18:09

let's get to the root, right? With my coaching,

18:11

with what I do for women, even with the

18:14

clutter side, what's the root? It's not the stuff,

18:16

it's not the Amazon, it's that you have a

18:18

hole you're trying to fill, what's the root? And

18:20

so I was like, what's the root here? And

18:22

it was that I hated who I was when

18:24

I got on camera. I hated

18:26

who I was when I was in the

18:28

Ali Kasaga brand, because it wasn't really me.

18:30

So then I have to stop, take a

18:32

break, focus on this, heal

18:34

this, and I have to come back and

18:37

really embody my true self and be that

18:39

magnet and know that there's gonna be

18:41

a lot of repelling. And that

18:43

it's gonna put me right directly face

18:45

to face with my people pleasing issues

18:47

and my need to be liked and

18:49

my need to get validation from other

18:51

people. So for four months,

18:53

I disappeared and did a lot of inner

18:55

work and worked with an amazing

18:58

therapist that I still see and love and

19:01

got okay with people not liking and disagreeing

19:04

with me. So yeah, it was

19:06

just that realization of like, I

19:08

hate this, why do I hate this? Well, because I hate

19:10

who I'm being, because I'm not being

19:12

myself. After the four months of you going

19:14

dark on social media, which is like the

19:16

number one way that you sell and

19:20

build a brand, I mean, obviously email

19:22

and all that, but that's like how

19:24

personal brands stay relevant, you

19:26

take four months to just really root

19:29

into you, then you come

19:31

back, then what happens? Especially

19:34

thinking about that magnet analogy that you

19:36

were using. It

19:38

was interesting because the second that

19:40

I hit record on my first

19:42

Instagram story that was even saying,

19:45

I'm back, I missed you guys, whatever, I

19:47

felt it come on like the old habit

19:50

from so many years of like, it's almost

19:52

like, you know when you get ready to

19:54

podcast and everyone just kind of has like

19:56

a podcast voice. Like you can't

19:58

help it, you just do it. It sounds like you're not

20:01

being yourself really, but it's just I don't

20:03

know it just happens to all of us It was like

20:05

that like I had a face

20:07

a voice a way of speaking a way

20:09

of phrasing Sentences that was like the old

20:12

way the old way of being that wasn't

20:14

truly me and I felt it

20:16

come out And I deleted that story like nine

20:18

or ten times and I never do that I

20:20

would just record and I'm a fly by the

20:23

seat of my pants inspiration action-taker kind of person

20:25

and I just realized

20:27

like wow this is very embedded This

20:29

is gonna take practice and work, but

20:32

I was in such a good place

20:34

of grounded into myself I was like that's

20:36

okay like this isn't gonna be perfect I'm

20:38

letting go of that expectation on myself and

20:40

I'm just gonna show up and let this

20:42

be messy and notice and be aware of

20:45

myself and Then I

20:47

was like, okay, like what is it that I want to say? I just

20:49

want to say that I'm back and I'm happy to

20:51

be back and I'm doing really well and so

20:55

That's what I said And it

20:57

and it was me and people Flooded

21:00

my DMS and they all said the

21:02

same thing some version of you

21:04

sound different You look

21:07

different your energy is different

21:10

What happened like what you know all that but like they're just

21:12

like you look so different sounds so

21:14

different I was like, yeah, this is this

21:16

is me This is Ali and

21:19

then it was tough the pivot was tough. Like

21:21

I I Said

21:23

like a statement like I've burned a lot

21:25

of bridges I am NOT

21:27

I'm just not proud of who I've been

21:29

and how I've shown up here I

21:32

want things to change this is kind of what

21:35

that will look like But I did say like

21:37

expect for me to talk about things I've never

21:39

talked about expect me to talk in a way

21:41

that I haven't really talked and it's okay if

21:44

I'm not still for you That season of my

21:46

life is over And

21:48

then about six months later I

21:50

finally and let the world and I

21:52

had made big decisions about my marriage

21:54

ending that I was in a different

21:56

place that I had let go of

21:58

so many old boxes I was letting

22:00

myself stay in and and

22:02

that did it that purged the audience

22:04

for sure And I

22:07

yeah, what way like like break it down

22:09

What was it like people took it personal

22:11

that you got a divorce and we're like,

22:14

oh, yeah, it's fascinating Yeah Like

22:17

and this is what's crazy to me because I mean

22:19

I have like I can we can link

22:21

to anything That's helpful for people. They can just go on

22:23

my corner of the internet and find whatever they want to

22:25

find there's videos and things and I

22:27

was Brian and I both have been

22:30

so open and honest like we actually feel

22:32

really proud of The

22:34

situation and the decisions we made and why we made them and

22:36

how we made them and how we handled everything with the kids

22:39

But we got married and we were

22:41

like 19 years old. It was all very religious and we're

22:43

not a part of that anymore So it just didn't make

22:45

sense. So it was literally

22:47

just like okay, so like friends. Yeah

22:49

friends Okay, bye and like now we're

22:52

just friends and co-parents and

22:54

people couldn't understand that they're

22:56

just like making up

22:58

rumors trying to like find a War

23:02

trying to create one because there wasn't one

23:05

And then they needed that for

23:07

themselves like they needed to make

23:09

sense for themselves. Yeah. Yes Hey

23:12

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And people were like, well, if there's no problem,

28:46

then like you guys just gave up and that's

28:48

not okay. There was people that, you know, it's

28:50

part of their personal religious beliefs. You cannot do

28:53

that. And they were projecting that on me. So

28:56

that got rid of a

28:58

lot of people that I just didn't want in

29:01

my audience and I could see them when they

29:03

would show up places and I would just feel

29:06

heavy. Like I just, I

29:08

don't want, I don't want that energy

29:10

here. And

29:13

then, but yeah, it was, it was, it was honestly

29:15

kind of funny. People very much

29:17

made it personal and their messages

29:19

were being more aware.

29:21

Now they were so clearly

29:23

not about me. They

29:26

were so clearly about themselves and

29:28

their own boxes

29:31

and perception and you

29:33

should be doing things my way.

29:36

And well, if you guys got divorced and

29:38

what does that mean about me? They were

29:40

just late. Nothing zero. Yeah.

29:42

You weren't part of this marriage. I

29:45

don't know if you know, but like we don't know

29:47

who you are. When

29:49

we got married, you weren't there. We

29:52

didn't make this decision thinking like,

29:54

what is Laura from Poughkeepie about this?

29:57

But you know, what's crazy is that

29:59

I feel like. Like a lot, like the old version

30:01

of you, Allie, and there was an old version

30:03

of myself and I'm sure an old version of

30:06

a lot of people listening to this that like

30:09

would have thought, well, what is she

30:11

going to think? And

30:13

like Laura from Pukovski that I've never met,

30:15

it's going to be really affected by the

30:17

thing that I post or by this decision

30:19

that I make in my life or how

30:22

I choose to parent my child in this situation.

30:24

And I need to take that into consideration

30:26

even though I've never met her. And

30:30

it's right. It's so fascinating

30:32

that like just the psychology of

30:34

us as human beings of needing to be seen

30:38

and loved and validated and

30:40

worthy and appreciated and how

30:42

external that can get for us that like

30:45

this old version of you would have probably

30:47

either never made that decision that

30:50

needed to be made or definitely

30:52

never shared it publicly because

30:54

you wouldn't have wanted her,

30:56

them to

30:59

be so affected. But now this version

31:01

of you that is now standing in

31:03

her power that is so authentically who

31:05

she is that is, has

31:08

healed and will continue to heal is like,

31:10

no, I can own this. I can take

31:12

this on. Like this was a decision

31:14

that we made that we needed to make and I can

31:16

own this and you can have your feelings about it, but

31:19

that has nothing to do with me. Yes.

31:22

Yes. And seeing it for like

31:24

when people do speak up and say something that

31:27

is not their place to say, I see

31:29

it from almost a place of empathy.

31:35

I know what kind of a person says

31:37

something like this to somebody on the internet.

31:40

I know what kind of a person feels

31:42

like they have to say their opinion and

31:44

they want to make sure that you know

31:46

they unfollowed you because they know that you're

31:49

too powerful to notice if they don't say

31:51

something. And I'm so sorry that

31:53

you're in that place. I used to be there too.

31:57

Like this literally it sounds so cliche

31:59

and annoying. but truly getting to

32:01

a place of like sending them so

32:03

much love because it sucks

32:05

to be there. Yeah. Do you know

32:07

what kind of negative energy it takes to

32:10

be a troll or

32:12

somebody that's like see someone that went through

32:14

something hard and overcame it and is sharing

32:16

their story in a positive way and to

32:18

just like shit on it like

32:20

they are miserable. Yeah.

32:23

And so that was big for me

32:25

to see it like that instead of

32:27

I would internalize, I would blame, I

32:29

would freak out. It would physically make

32:31

my stomach like ill. Yeah. And now

32:33

it's like, I

32:35

really don't care. It's

32:38

liberating. Yeah. And I think

32:40

your point to empathy is so important because when

32:42

you used to be that, you know, like there's

32:45

this thing that I've heard is like, if you

32:47

offer your input more than once, you're trying to

32:49

control and it's like, right, like, and I can

32:51

identify with that because being a former control freak,

32:53

the more that I felt out of control in

32:56

my own life, the more that I wanted to

32:58

control other people, places and things because it made

33:00

me feel in control. And so I

33:02

can have compassion for that and I

33:04

can have empathy for that. And so I think

33:07

that you leading in that way, I would love

33:09

to know how did that shift?

33:11

Like the purge started to

33:13

happen. You could see former versions

33:16

of yourself in other people, which allowed you

33:18

to just lead with empathy, but also like

33:21

complete detachment, right? Because it's like not your

33:23

stuff. Then what happened to the community in

33:25

the audience? Cause I can just imagine now

33:28

and I don't, how long ago was this?

33:30

Early mid last year. Okay. So you're like

33:32

18 months ish from that

33:34

almost two years from that. I

33:37

can just imagine now that you probably have a

33:39

more authentic, robust, real, true, like connection

33:42

with your community that you've ever had.

33:44

And by the way, if you don't

33:46

know, like Ali in her business, she

33:48

has built a massive, like when you

33:50

talk about community building, like you talk

33:52

about Ali, like I remember we've been

33:54

in more than one mastermind together and

33:56

that's the thing that people are like,

33:58

how do you build organic? community?

34:00

How do you have these Facebook groups

34:02

with like tens and hundreds of thousands

34:04

of people in it and you've got this massive email list

34:06

and like how do you have this community? So Ali

34:10

literally knows what she is doing when it comes

34:12

to building community because she was able to do

34:14

all that even when she did not feel like

34:16

her most authentic self. So I

34:18

just just me knowing that about your

34:20

business I'm just so curious as to

34:22

how did showing up as

34:24

you leading with that empathy leading

34:27

with that loving detachment how

34:29

did that repel the people that were

34:31

not meant to be there and then

34:33

what happened to the people that either

34:35

stayed or that then you attracted in.

34:38

So it goes back to that magnet analogy

34:41

these people are so

34:43

repulsed they're so upset they're leaving

34:45

reviews on the podcast because they

34:47

have to say something they're so

34:49

repelled and then there's the others

34:52

these are the moms that have like

34:54

a margarita nights with their girlfriends that

34:56

say the f-word that are like so

34:59

love being a mom and they make

35:01

it fun and they just are not

35:03

available for making it difficult and they're

35:06

always seeking ways they're growth-minded but

35:08

they're also just fun to be around

35:10

and their sense of humor is is

35:13

there in terms of like matching

35:15

mine and they're my girls and

35:17

so they like a magnet the

35:19

other side of it they are like like

35:22

straight to me like oh

35:24

my god finally someone that's not

35:26

like perfectly aesthetic all the time

35:28

which I know that

35:30

kind of vibe and those kinds of accounts

35:32

and they're beautiful they're just not for everyone

35:35

my account is great

35:37

but it's not for everyone and it's not

35:40

supposed to be so they're saying these things

35:42

like oh my god finally it's your cussing

35:44

you're being you're hilarious like I just was

35:47

telling you before you know we hit record

35:49

I was just filming for a promo coming

35:51

up and I was doing this stupid like

35:53

doja cat dance it's like

35:55

wildly inappropriate and it's for the clutter like

35:58

a mother like it's it's stupid

36:00

and silly and inappropriate and

36:02

explicit language and like this

36:05

like it's just me

36:09

and so the women that are like that

36:11

that that vibe with that either want to

36:13

be more like that or are like that

36:15

are just not able to look away my

36:18

open rates are higher my click rates

36:20

are higher my conversions are not only

36:23

are they higher they're stronger and more

36:25

steady I haven't run

36:27

ads at all I don't need to yeah it's

36:29

amazing I hate running ads I know you've always

36:31

hated running ads I hate running

36:34

ads I'm like like give me

36:36

an ad all day long you're like no thanks

36:38

yeah I'm like now

36:40

I'm like okay maybe next year we'll

36:42

like do it to boost what's already

36:44

working but like I hate it I

36:46

love authenticity I don't need them I

36:49

people who are just flocking to me

36:52

because I'm being because like I said

36:54

again you have to be magnetic

36:56

and in being magnetic it's the

36:59

law of polarity you are also

37:01

being repellent so your

37:03

comment section is gonna be

37:05

hilarious like it's gonna be oh

37:08

my god I can't even stand this and

37:10

then also I've never loved anything

37:12

more than I've loved this where do I

37:14

sign up like it's gonna have that polarity

37:16

in it because you are being polarizing just

37:19

by being your authentic self

37:21

so yeah it there was a big

37:24

drop though like I will be honest

37:26

my email list dropped let's see it was like 220,000

37:29

and it dropped to 170,000 boom immediately

37:34

yeah but you know I'm like get

37:36

a man there boom done you're gone

37:38

I yeah so um

37:41

Brian was very supportive of me

37:43

during this time because he has

37:45

known me since we were

37:47

in seventh grade yeah he knows me

37:49

better than almost anyone and

37:51

he was like so in

37:54

like cheering for me during this journey of

37:56

like literally facing the worst thing that could

37:58

ever happen is always people be being like,

38:00

ew, unsubscribe. And

38:02

I was literally so happy. We

38:05

decided, or he decided, that we would make

38:07

a cake or go out to

38:09

dinner or do something with the kids to

38:11

celebrate my audience aligning with my real self.

38:13

And we talked to the kids about that,

38:15

and he stuck with it. We did a

38:18

dinner, we did a wine night one time,

38:20

we made a cake another time for every

38:22

5,000. Which

38:24

was every day. Okay,

38:26

that's a lot of cake, we don't have to. And

38:29

social media was the same. I

38:32

was at like 200K and I dropped

38:34

to like, oh my god, I wanna say like 130.

38:38

And now it's like back up to 160 or something,

38:40

I don't know, but it's scary. But can we pause

38:42

and take a moment though to just like, just

38:46

that right there. The fact that you could

38:48

drop like that and not have an existential

38:50

crisis, like 99% of

38:52

the people that I know would, just goes

38:54

to show how much recovery you have in

38:59

your healing process and how

39:01

rooted you are in

39:04

who you are and that being enough.

39:07

Like that alone

39:09

is incredible. So like

39:11

I just wanna pause. Because

39:13

I know there's so many women that are

39:15

listening to this right now that like if

39:17

they lose five followers, they're like in a

39:19

corner, you know, for days, right?

39:21

And it's like, we have to pull them out,

39:24

we have to remind them like, let's

39:26

stay on the purpose and the path.

39:28

So the fact that you- You have

39:30

to go back to that pep talk.

39:32

Exactly. You're repelling. You're repelling like with

39:34

every attract you're gonna repel. And so

39:36

you just being so steadfast and true

39:38

in who you are is

39:40

really a beautiful thing to

39:42

witness. So I just wanna honor that for

39:45

a moment. I

39:47

thank you so much. It's like I

39:50

spent my whole life growing

39:52

up being taught, this

39:55

is the box and this is

39:57

where you belong, this is what is good. good

40:00

girl status and

40:03

it's very important that you stay here

40:05

and the way that you know you're

40:07

there is external sources telling you good

40:11

good so literally

40:14

that's why I had

40:16

to do somatic therapy they and I don't

40:18

know if you guys know what that is

40:21

but it's like very intense you're almost having

40:23

like an out-of-body experience but you're very in

40:25

your body and there's like you're like they

40:27

have you do like certain like shaking things

40:29

like you are getting trauma out of your

40:32

body and all of mine was around being

40:34

seen being judged and letting it

40:37

letting them so now

40:39

this is what I want you guys to do whenever

40:42

you get you notice followers dip you're

40:44

more your every time you're yourself you

40:46

will both get a spike and a

40:49

dip and at first there will only be dips big

40:52

dips and that's okay so now like what

40:54

I did was every single time I would

40:56

tell myself let them let

40:58

them let them go and let

41:01

them come that was my mantra

41:03

I'm I loved it so much it's everywhere

41:05

in my office I might get a little

41:07

tattoo because it was just so helpful let

41:10

them go and then let them come back

41:12

let them new ones come the

41:15

fresh blood in the business it's they're the

41:18

most excited anyway they're like oh my god

41:20

I just found you from the hilarious thing

41:22

you posted oh my god like I saw

41:24

all the comments people are so weird I

41:26

love you like those people and they

41:29

just like they were never gonna

41:31

root for you anyway like my sign-off and

41:33

my emails is always I'm rooting for you

41:37

they were no I have truly am rooting

41:39

for them they were never rooting for me

41:41

they wanted me to be controlled they wanted

41:44

to edit me they I spent

41:46

my whole life that way I know it

41:48

when I see it why

41:50

would I treat myself like that why

41:52

would I allow myself to have an

41:54

audience full of people that trigger me

41:57

and want to edit me and want

41:59

to keep me from growing

42:01

because it makes them feel better about

42:03

themselves. Why would I want an audience

42:05

full of people that only loves me

42:08

if I am following their rules, which

42:10

is all perception anyway, and is empty

42:12

and hollow and stupid? It

42:14

doesn't make any sense. I love myself

42:16

so much now. All I care about

42:18

is if I am happy doing what

42:21

I'm doing. So if something makes

42:23

me laugh and I think it's funny and people want

42:25

to cancel me, okay, go

42:27

ahead. I'm always humble. I'm always open to

42:30

learn. I'm always open to be

42:32

a better version of myself. But if you

42:34

just don't like me because I am not

42:36

staying in your little box or I'm being

42:38

too much, like I am the too much

42:40

woman and you can either get

42:43

on board or get the hell out.

42:45

I really don't care. And that is

42:47

so freaking liberating. Like I'm so free.

42:49

I'm inspired. I've got so many ideas.

42:51

I'm starting to post on Instagram like

42:53

two or three times a day because

42:55

my I'm booked out like

42:57

too far. I'm not going to have an

43:00

idea that juicy and put it in April

43:02

when it's December. Like I

43:04

can't. So I'm just I'm lit

43:06

up. I am in flow finally.

43:09

And this only happens when you

43:11

let them go and then let them come.

43:14

It's magic. Yeah, it is. And it reminds

43:17

you of that saying like we teach people

43:19

how to treat us because it's

43:21

all a mirror. And so it's like

43:23

if you were treating yourself that way,

43:25

then you are teaching those in your

43:27

world to also treat you that way. Or

43:30

if you're allowing it to happen. And I think

43:32

those listening can relate to this no matter how

43:34

you know, your years of being online and building

43:36

a business and brand online and the evolutions of

43:38

that is you'll have those moments like you were

43:41

saying earlier, Allie, I don't love my community right

43:43

now. I don't I don't love what I'm doing.

43:45

I don't love what I'm working on. And it's

43:47

like what's all a mirror. So what does that

43:49

meant to teach you? What does that meant to

43:51

show you right now? Like what are you avoiding

43:53

that could probably get you to the other side

43:55

of this that you're not honoring. And I think

43:57

that that's what I'm doing. And I think that

43:59

that's what I'm That is a sure

44:01

fire indication. So when you just said like,

44:03

they were never rooting for me, like

44:06

obviously they weren't, because if they were,

44:08

they would have been the first ones

44:10

to support you through this huge personal

44:13

like transformation of your family, but

44:15

they were the first people to

44:17

knock you down. And it's

44:19

because that was what

44:21

they came to you in Authentic, they

44:23

came to you as people pleasers. They

44:26

came to you as watered down versions

44:28

of themselves, because you came to them

44:30

that way. So like attracts like. And

44:33

so I love that you stated that, because

44:36

I think that's a good reflection for myself and

44:38

for all of us here in this conversation to

44:40

remember if we're having those moments of like, why

44:42

do I keep attracting the same men in

44:44

my life? Or why do I keep attracting

44:46

this kind of person in my community? Or

44:48

why does this thing keep happening over and

44:50

over again? It's like, well, you're the common

44:52

denominator. So like, what are you doing or

44:54

allowing energetically or otherwise to make that happen?

44:57

So I think that's a beautiful reflection and

44:59

feedback here. And I think that even for

45:01

some of those listening, like that could be

45:03

very triggering too. Like if you're listening to

45:05

this and you're getting like really freaking

45:07

triggered right now, it's like, that is

45:09

a beautiful, it's like, yes, be triggered.

45:12

Like ask yourself why? Like

45:14

don't take it personal. Yeah, and go deep,

45:16

what is it? Where does it show up?

45:18

There's something that I worked with an energy

45:20

healer a while back for a couple of

45:22

years. And one of the biggest things that

45:24

she taught me that I still use, oh

45:27

my gosh, all the time, is she

45:29

taught me, I'm gonna probably butcher this,

45:31

but the main point is there is

45:33

something about being in water that gets

45:36

you into like an energetic flow and

45:38

helps things come to the surface. And

45:41

so when like she taught me to

45:43

ask a question, so like, okay, let's say

45:46

for example, you keep getting people in your

45:48

audience that are like being really mean, like

45:50

just really like a wave of really unkind

45:52

comments, whatever, and they all have a certain

45:54

theme. Let's say they all are like, like

45:56

I was saying, you're feeling edited, they're trying

45:58

to edit you, they're like, You shouldn't

46:00

say it like that. Why did you have to?

46:02

That just seemed really condescending. Whatever, they're editing you.

46:05

Then ask yourself, where am

46:07

I editing myself? And

46:10

get in the shower or get in the bath

46:12

or even just do the dishes and keep your

46:14

hands or under the water and just keep asking

46:16

that question like magic, it

46:18

will show up. Like it'll just drop into

46:20

your head and you will know the answer.

46:22

And then you can do something about it.

46:24

And just, it doesn't have to be that

46:26

deep. You don't have to do all this

46:28

tapping and getting to your inner child. Just,

46:31

I am now unavailable for editing

46:34

myself in this way, whatever

46:36

realization you had. And

46:38

just decide, energetically you're done and

46:41

it will stop showing up. It's

46:43

amazing. So little pro

46:45

tips. Love it, I love all the tips. They're

46:47

so good and juicy. Okay,

46:50

Allie, before we start to wrap the conversation

46:52

up, this is so good. I could keep

46:54

going because you have so many pearls of

46:56

wisdom for us today. I would love for

46:58

you to share really how you're

47:01

showing up and serving your community now. I

47:03

mean, we still have this theme of declutter,

47:05

but it is so much more and bigger

47:08

and deeper than what it originally started at.

47:11

I know that you mentioned, you know, somatic

47:13

healing and EFT and hypnosis

47:16

and some other things that you have actually

47:18

done in your own journey that has really

47:20

served you. And so now that is coming

47:22

up in a way with your community. Could

47:24

you share a little bit more about that?

47:26

Yeah, I think the biggest way that everything

47:28

has kind of come full circle and

47:31

showed up in service to my audience

47:33

is the collective. So I started Becoming

47:35

Her Collective, which is all about, it's

47:38

for growth-minded women that like I said

47:40

in the beginning, they're just done. The

47:42

main foundation of everything that I teach

47:45

and everything that I do is the

47:47

fact that your environment affects you. There's

47:49

a book called Triggered by Marshall Goldsmith.

47:52

It is basically the

47:54

study of how your environment affects

47:56

everything unconsciously. This is where clutter,

47:58

physical clutter comes in. But your

48:00

environment is more than physical. It's also

48:03

the people you're around, the food you're

48:05

eating, the beverages you're putting in your

48:07

body, the thoughts you think, the words

48:09

you speak about yourself and to others

48:11

around yourself. It's a collection of everything.

48:14

So becoming your collective is an environment

48:16

I wanted to intentionally curate for women

48:19

to understand what I'm saying when I

48:21

talk about that all the time for

48:23

years. And they want to

48:25

put themselves in a positive environment that is

48:28

conducive to their growth, conducive to

48:30

them becoming her, her being the

48:32

next level version of themselves. And

48:34

so we do EFT, we do

48:36

breath work every month. We are

48:39

peeling back layers and moving forward

48:41

with ourselves in beautiful ways. There's

48:43

community, then there's the business side,

48:45

which is called CEO Club, and

48:47

that we're doing the same thing

48:49

there. We're connecting with our

48:51

businesses, we're letting go of what's not

48:53

working and letting it be okay and

48:55

aligning with the higher self of our

48:57

business. Because I think your business does have

49:00

a higher self. What does that look like? What is

49:02

the higher version of you as a CEO? Let's

49:04

become her and align our businesses with her. We're

49:07

going to feel so much better and make a

49:09

lot more money. So that's been really

49:11

big. I launched that in

49:13

August of 23 and that's just been

49:15

huge and amazing. Did you know, like

49:17

girl, I burned my courses to the

49:19

ground. Like I don't even run those

49:21

anymore. Everything is new. So

49:23

I'm like, yeah, I'm just like, everything is

49:26

different. Everything has changed. I'm

49:28

not afraid anymore to set something

49:30

fire and walk away and then

49:33

just, you know, start fresh. So

49:35

that's, that's what I've been doing. So

49:37

good. So, so good, Allie. Okay.

49:40

I'm going to ask you a question. I used to do

49:42

this. I probably did it when you were on the podcast

49:44

because you were on the podcast earlier on. I used to

49:46

ask this question and then, I don't know, I guess I

49:48

just got like bored and I stopped. I

49:50

don't, I don't know why. I just like stopped asking it, but I'm,

49:52

I'm asking it again because I'm feeling the energy to

49:55

do that with guests. What does influence

49:57

mean to you? I remember this. Oh,

50:00

okay. Influence is a power.

50:02

Influence is people are looking

50:04

and you can influence them

50:06

to be better or be

50:09

worse. And that's on

50:11

you. I wanna influence people to be

50:13

better. I think influence is power and

50:15

purpose. And I think it's also opportunity.

50:19

It makes the world a better place with

50:21

your influence. Agreed, agreed, agreed. All right, well,

50:23

as always to my beautiful, brilliant,

50:26

brilliant listeners, we have such brilliant minds. I

50:28

feel so lucky to be able to just

50:30

have this great community. To my brilliant minds

50:32

that are listening today, if you had any

50:35

moments that just, it was an aha for

50:37

you, it was a trigger for you. It

50:39

was like a, oh my gosh, yes, like

50:41

this is it. Any kind of moment like

50:44

that, please, please, please screenshot today's

50:46

episode, whether you're watching it on YouTube

50:48

or listening to it on Spotify or

50:50

iTunes, wherever you love to listen, screenshot this,

50:52

and then tag myself and tag Allie and

50:55

let us know what your biggest takeaway was.

50:57

I love to read these when you all

50:59

do it. I love to see because it's

51:01

so different for each and every person. And

51:04

it allows me to just kind of see

51:06

where you're at in this moment and like

51:08

how this conversation just dropped in when it

51:10

needed to as it needed to for you.

51:12

So again, just screenshot today's episode, tag both

51:15

of us, let us know what the biggest

51:17

takeaway was. I'll make sure to

51:19

repost and share. And with that,

51:21

Allie, can you let us know

51:23

where to find you on Instagram

51:25

and online? Yes, Instagram is Allie,

51:27

A-L-L-I-E, underscore that's me. And

51:29

my website is just alliekasaza.com. Type in something

51:32

close and it'll come up. You can kind

51:34

of choose your own adventure there with how

51:36

I can help you. Beautiful, thank you again

51:38

so much for coming back on the podcast

51:41

and showing up as the

51:44

most authentic version of you,

51:47

which is beautiful and sharing your wisdom.

51:49

It was a gorgeous conversation. Thank you.

51:51

As always, thank you so much for joining me

51:54

today and every week

51:56

here on the influencer podcast. If

51:58

you're wanting to dive deeper into. the topics

52:00

and discussions that we have here, I

52:02

would encourage you to head over to julysolomon.net and

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sign up for my weekly

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send inside your inbox every single week.

52:20

But just head over to julysolomon.net. You'll see

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52:24

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52:36

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52:38

areas of your life, then I want

52:40

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52:42

my dear friend Kelly Roach's podcast, The

52:44

Kelly Roach Show. Kelly's podcast focuses on

52:46

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you'll even hear me on a recent

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You can listen to The Kelly Roach

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