0:02

Jason Manford, Absolute

0:04

Radio, where real music

0:07

matters. Good morning it's the Jason Manford

0:09

show on Absolute Radio hope you

0:11

very well Steve Edge is here. Good morning

0:14

how are you?

0:15

I'm very well Steve, very formal.

0:18

Just checking. Oh you don't know do you? I've

0:20

spoken to you this week, we've been busy but I was just checking

0:22

in. I know I did ring you the other

0:24

day but I got dinked to voicemail

0:27

so I thought you must be filming. I was

0:29

yeah I saw that yeah I was gonna ring you back

0:31

but then we didn't finish till

0:33

ridiculous o'clock so I thought. It's

0:36

fine, we've

0:38

got those hours because I'm, you're filming all day.

0:40

Hmm, I'm wizarding all

0:42

night. I have to see the wizard

0:45

all night. It's our last week, our last

0:47

week of Wizard of Oz.

0:53

Is that exciting? I can't believe it. Just because you

0:55

can have a little relax or is it sad or is

0:57

it both? Yeah a little bit, yeah

1:02

bit of both really. It's one of those jobs where

1:04

you go like sometimes you finish

1:06

a job and you go oh do you know what I

1:09

could keep doing this for ages

1:11

and then other jobs you're like I did that

1:14

job and I enjoyed it but it's done and

1:16

I'm fine with that. And that's

1:18

sort of this one I think maybe because I'm away from home and stuff

1:20

like that. Yeah it's a long time. But

1:23

yeah but what a treat it's been to be

1:26

at the Palladium for 10 weeks

1:28

over the summer in just a show

1:30

that people love already.

1:33

And

1:34

I'll tell you another thing that happened this week Steve. What?

1:39

I was in touch with, this

1:41

is one of those random like showbiz

1:45

stories, so I bumped into

1:48

Giles Brandreth

1:52

and he said oh I

1:54

know John Laird who is Bert Laird's

1:56

son.

1:57

Oh yeah he's a writer isn't he or a journalist? Yeah,

2:00

he's a writer-journalist from the New Yorker. And

2:04

so, and I'd read his book actually, which

2:07

was about his dad, notes on a cow

2:09

delight.

2:11

And so

2:13

he invited him along. Anyway, John

2:16

didn't come along. He was busy,

2:18

I didn't fancy it, whatever it was. But sent me a lovely

2:21

writing, probably, yeah, busy in it. But sent me

2:23

a lovely email, and

2:26

we sort of had a very brief chat

2:28

about it. And I sort of wanted to say to him, oh,

2:30

you know what, I,

2:32

one of the reasons I wanted him to come,

2:34

I wanted him to sort of see that, like, because when I come out

2:36

as a lion, like there's an instant

2:39

love for this character. That's not me,

2:42

that's

2:43

the lion, you know, because they just

2:45

love it. He's like, what would

2:47

you say? One of the top 10 most famous

2:50

cinema characters of all time?

2:51

You know, that sort of vibe, isn't it? Top lions,

2:54

yeah. Definitely, oh, easy. What

2:56

have you got, Simba? Scar. It's

3:00

probably the top lion. It's probably the top lion.

3:02

I'd say so. That was a lot from Out of Africa.

3:05

Is that the one in Tarzan? I

3:10

don't think

3:12

so. I don't know.

3:15

But this is interesting. One of the things he did

3:17

say was, he said, I'm really pleased

3:19

that you've enjoyed playing the lion, and

3:21

that you've got so much out of it, and

3:24

enjoyed it, he said, because my dad, and

3:28

I think he writes about this in the book, and

3:31

he says, my dad never watched

3:33

The Wizard of Oz, because he was so, he

3:38

just didn't think his performance

3:40

was good enough. Isn't that weird? So

3:42

he never watched it, you think, gosh, because, you know,

3:45

me and you, well, anybody else. Yeah,

3:47

we've all seen it. Yeah, we've all

3:49

seen it, but we have had moments of anxiety of

3:51

like, I'm a good enough, you

3:53

know, when you think, gosh, one of the most famous moments

3:56

in cinema, the most famous characters in

3:58

cinema, and they bur-

3:59

that the actor playing it thought it

4:02

wasn't good enough.

4:03

It affects us all, you see? It affects us all. There

4:05

you go. That's it, yeah.

4:07

Yeah, so, but it was lovely. It was

4:09

very nice to chat to him. So yeah, so thanks for everybody who's been

4:11

to see Wizard of Oz. I'm sure

4:13

people, a lot of people listening

4:15

to the show will be glad that we're

4:18

not talking about it now because it's been 10 weeks of it. And

4:21

that's it for you. If you're around today in London,

4:24

it is our last two shows, one o'clock and

4:27

five o'clock, and then we are done

4:29

and done.

4:30

["The

4:44

World's Best"]

4:49

Still make us laugh, Steve. No, I know it shouldn't.

4:51

But it's just so, it's

4:53

so bad it's brilliant. You

4:56

know what I mean?

4:57

It's

5:00

a very idea that we're serving that up, is

5:03

just content, isn't it? On

5:06

an actual radio station.

5:08

We haven't just done it once. We keep doing

5:11

it.

5:11

No, we're stuck by it. We have stuck

5:13

by it. So

5:16

we've got this one here from Dan, who

5:18

is, I'm going away with three kids to

5:20

Cornwall. They are seven, nine,

5:22

and 10.

5:23

I

5:26

plan on taking no iPads, tablets,

5:28

or anything for the journey. So can you tell

5:30

us the best car game in snacks? It's

5:33

a six hour journey

5:34

on a good day. I

5:38

don't know why he's doing this to himself. Do

5:40

you understand? This is some sort of, what

5:43

is this? Why is he doing this? Technologies.

5:45

Technologies. Yeah, it's there to

5:48

help us all. It's there to help.

5:50

Are there kids going, you can't use a sat-nav? You've got to find

5:52

your own way without using a sat-nav. You can't

5:55

have yours. What about you not have yours? You

5:57

get your A-Z out. You know what I mean?

5:59

Six hours. Yeah.

6:04

Well, yeah, there's eyespye, isn't there? Well,

6:08

that's a classic, yeah, as long as... How long does that last, though?

6:11

It was seven, nine and ten, wasn't it? Okay, so they

6:13

can all sort of spell that, so... Yeah,

6:16

that's a good thing.

6:19

For a long journey,

6:21

isn't it? I can feel

6:23

for him already, I don't know what... I have got

6:25

an eye on it, just thinking it's me. I have as

6:28

well, I've been triggered. Have you been triggered? I've

6:31

been triggered. I was in a restaurant yesterday

6:33

and there were some kids on their iPad, and it was

6:35

quite loud, and a couple of people on our table were getting,

6:38

oh, they need to turn that down, and I was like,

6:40

nah.

6:41

I mean, yes and no, but we've

6:43

all... Look at the parents,

6:45

just trying to have a little meal, a little bit of quiet,

6:48

not getting into gesture, just let it slide.

6:51

It wouldn't let it slide. They were

6:53

furious. Eye

6:56

spy, you've got that one. It's the one where

6:58

you can play with number plates, where you can try and

7:00

make words out of the first three letters. Yeah, that's always good,

7:02

the last three letters. Yeah. That's

7:05

pretty

7:05

good. I play... I

7:09

pull over at a service station by three iPads,

7:11

that's that game. That's

7:14

definitely going to happen. Yeah.

7:17

All right. Yeah,

7:20

that's going to happen.

7:23

You can play...

7:24

Play songs, what's the colour of a thing? What are you

7:26

going to say? I

7:28

was going to play... We played this game during

7:30

tech rehearsal, because when you're rehearsing

7:33

a show, when you

7:35

go into the theatre, it's like ten hours long, and no-one's

7:37

got a phone on them or anything like that, because you're just... So

7:40

you're like 10, 12 hours into the second. It needs to be working,

7:42

yeah.

7:43

Well, we played Guess The Time.

7:46

Oh, that's good, yeah. Yeah, which is quite good. You'd go, hey, hey, what

7:48

time do you reckon it is? 20 past three, six o'clock.

7:52

You're like, no way! No way is it?

7:55

It rarely works like that. Yeah. Who

7:58

can hold the breath the longest? Is that a good game?

7:59

I

8:00

mean potentially.

8:03

Not if you're driving. You can't really compete.

8:05

I've had a game once where I

8:07

was filming and there was a lot of hanging around and me

8:09

and this other actor had a stopwatch

8:12

around

8:12

our necks and we were trying

8:14

to get exactly

8:16

one second you know so you start the stopwatch

8:19

you know the you know milliseconds and hundreds

8:21

of a second bang try and get it exactly on one

8:24

and we got up to ten

8:26

exactly ten zero zero zero we were

8:28

that's how bored we were but tens hard

8:31

because if you get it wrong you've got you know when you

8:33

do it again it's another you know not

8:35

almost ten seconds so

8:38

there's that but it's technology

8:40

again isn't

8:42

it? Who can stay quiet its longest?

8:45

That's the trump card of all days isn't it? Is anyone gonna do six

8:47

hours? Is anyone gonna do six hours? I

8:50

think the dad I think the mum might.

8:53

Great idea they know iPads pal.

8:56

Yeah I'm saying nothing I will let

8:58

you you've made your bed you can

9:00

lie in it. I think

9:02

I think it's madness I don't know why I don't know why

9:05

you would I mean I'm all for

9:07

no let's just do the first two hours and then you can have your

9:09

iPad. But six hours. Six

9:13

hours. Yeah

9:14

yeah also I don't know if the iPad will even last six

9:16

hours you know I mean so that's the thing. Bring

9:19

it

9:19

bring a book as well and bring some games and

9:21

just throw everything at it to

9:23

try and just don't

9:26

what you're punishing yourself for never mind

9:28

the kids.

9:29

I think it's madness I think it's

9:32

some kind of self abuse I think it's wrong.

9:34

Yeah so

9:37

you're wrong dad.

9:39

And the snacks I mean the snack what

9:41

are you gonna give them veg? Like

9:43

why are you... Look carob batons we're

9:45

not having any sugar guys we're just having carob

9:47

batons on promise. Have

9:50

you finished doing that kale?

9:52

No Chris had up in the

9:54

office. Give him an iPad. Come on get

9:56

a remote iPad headphones invisible

9:58

that's what you want.

9:59

Yeah, get a sort of spot

10:02

on while they're watching your iPads. Just

10:05

make it easy on yourself.

10:08

This is Jason

10:11

Manford. This is Absolute Radio. Where

10:16

real

10:16

music matters. So Steve, last week

10:20

we chatted to one of the stars of Operation

10:22

Mint to meet the musical. Oh yes, the musical. Fortune

10:25

Theatre. Yeah. And I went

10:27

to see it. I went to see it last weekend. It

10:30

is very good.

10:31

Okay, good. You know, because

10:33

you... Oh, brilliant font.

10:36

Yeah, I mean, because I know because you read

10:39

the book and see the first of you might be thinking, oh,

10:41

have they made a... I think you even said it. Not a lot less

10:43

than the book. No, no. But

10:47

they've just, they've done it really well. Really, like,

10:50

it's just very funny and very clever. There's

10:52

lots of really funny, clever moments

10:55

in the show. I

10:57

would recommend it. I even thought

11:00

Steve would like this. And I never think that

11:02

about a musical. No, no. I hate

11:04

them. It's not really my thing. I like the odd one.

11:07

No. But me and my girl. Classic.

11:10

Absolute classic. Yeah.

11:13

But it's, no, it's good. It's

11:15

really solid. It's got that sort of vibe

11:17

of like, you feel like it did really

11:20

well at the Edinburgh Festival and

11:22

then somebody's come along with a load of money

11:24

and gone, right, how do we make this

11:26

look and feel fantastic? But

11:30

it's very witty and it's actually quite...

11:33

There's a couple of moments in it that are quite soulful,

11:36

it's very heartbreaking because

11:38

obviously it is a prime, you

11:40

know, at its heart. It's quite a sad story of

11:42

a... Yeah. You know, dressing

11:44

up a dead body and,

11:47

you know, pretending it was an

11:49

airman to trick the Nazis. Like, you know,

11:52

there's obviously a lot of comedy in it, but there's

11:54

also moments of like, that is actually

11:56

a person doing that, you

11:58

know, and they really do that. that well, respectfully.

12:02

So I enjoyed that very much. So

12:06

if you get chance, do go and operate. If

12:08

you can get chance, to be honest, because

12:11

the tickets are like gold dust.

12:14

We managed to, I went with my

12:16

mate Dave and my uncle

12:18

Stephen came along, went to buy him a ticket on the night.

12:20

And there was like one ticket left, thankfully, and he managed

12:23

to come. So the

12:25

only thing is that it's an eight o'clock start and then

12:28

I think that's too late.

12:29

That's the only negative I would say.

12:32

If I was the producer, I'd say. Is it a long show? It

12:36

finishes, yeah, well, it finishes at half 10. So

12:38

it's a normal length show. Yeah,

12:40

but like a start, yeah. It started at eight.

12:44

You know, so you know me, I'm obsessed with

12:46

time. I'm obsessed with what time that. What

12:48

time I'm getting in bed, there's something wrong with that, is there? What time

12:51

I'm gonna be in bed? I

12:53

sometimes, in fact, I woke up this morning and

12:55

my first thought was,

12:56

what time am I getting back in this? It's

12:59

a good way of being. I've done a similar thing,

13:01

because I'm in this heat. I keep waking up going, have

13:04

I got time for an afternoon nap today?

13:06

Because obviously it's not an afternoon nap, is it? It's

13:08

like a siesta over here. It's a load. Oh

13:10

yes, it's got an official term, hasn't it? Yes,

13:13

siesta, I mean, we're not in Spain, but you

13:15

know, it's, you know. No. It's

13:17

the med, isn't it? Is it cultural appropriation if you have

13:20

an afternoon nap in? If

13:22

you call it an afternoon nap, it's all right. If you call it a siesta,

13:25

then that's cultural appropriation. It's like Jamie

13:28

Oliver doing his jerk rice. It's wrong. Exactly.

13:33

Exactly. You get cancelled

13:35

from it. By the time you wake up, you've

13:36

been cancelled. What's happened? I've been

13:38

cancelled? I just woke up. You.

13:41

How dare you?

13:44

Yeah, so go see, that operation means to me. It

13:47

was very good, very good. Jason

13:50

Manford. So this is

13:53

an interesting news story this morning, Steve.

13:55

Okay. Again, in America, always.

13:58

Of course. Woman breaks

14:00

Guinness World Record for world's loudest burp.

14:03

Loudest burp? OK. Loudest

14:06

burp. OK.

14:09

She's called Wind. She's looked at the records, and she's gone,

14:11

I can't do longest. I reckon I can do loudest.

14:14

Yeah, clearly. Well, I have got a feeling

14:17

that's come from other people, maybe other people. Different

14:19

skill set in it. Yes. Yeah. Jesus.

14:21

Yes. You should be a

14:23

record holder.

14:26

That's what it feels like. Yeah. Just

14:28

from Maryland, Virginia. Has

14:31

broken the world record for the loudest burp for a female.

14:34

OK. There's two different sections. You've got

14:36

to separate the category. Yeah. All right. Yeah.

14:39

That's a separate category. I don't know. I just thought, you never know.

14:41

It could have been just general loudest burp.

14:44

Yeah, but I think blokes have got, you've got like

14:46

a, you know, if you're bigger. I imagine if you're bigger, it's

14:48

louder, isn't it? So if you've got like a big bloke. There's

14:50

more to shake, isn't there, I suppose. Yeah,

14:52

and a big old sort of cavernous

14:55

rib cage, you know. Yeah. Tom

14:58

Burke. I don't know where the noise of the burp is.

15:01

Yes. He's burping from his diaphragm.

15:03

Yeah. Very good.

15:06

Last year, she built up a pretty big following

15:08

on TikTok for sharing videos of her burping.

15:11

I think, I don't think this is what the internet's for,

15:14

Steve. Well, this is what it's become, isn't it?

15:16

So that's where we are now. That's

15:18

where we are. Encouraged by the support. So

15:20

it's your fault. She eventually purchased

15:22

a decibel meter with one

15:25

of her expulsions reaching 109

15:27

decibels. Winter, who

15:29

says she modeled her burping on Homer

15:31

Simpson and Shrek, and then got in

15:33

touch with Guinness Book of Books. Imagine

15:36

that on a dating profile. Imagine that

15:38

on a dating profile. I modeled

15:40

my burps on Homer

15:43

Simpson and Shrek.

15:45

Keep that. Keep

15:48

that. She produced a magical burp that

15:50

reached 107.3 decibels securing

15:52

Winter's place in the history books. But

15:55

whilst she's happy with her record.

15:56

Do you know what I mean? You know what I've said this before. No,

15:59

because we can only measure.

15:59

We can only measure size by football pitches or

16:02

double deckers. How loud is

16:04

that in decibels? Is it as loud as like a Harrier

16:07

jet engine or something?

16:09

How loud is 107 decibels? Give

16:15

us a layman's term of what that says

16:17

loud as. Power saw.

16:19

That

16:22

is loud, isn't it? Power saw. That

16:25

is loud. It's really loud.

16:28

Your subway train is 95. Your train

16:30

whistle is 90.

16:35

And that's the old point of that is to be heard at a

16:37

distance. Yeah.

16:40

A power mower is bang on 107 and your power saw is 110.

16:47

It says, it says here, pain begins

16:49

at 125. Really?

16:53

So you can hurt people with the noise.

16:55

Well, I guess like if you screamed,

16:57

you're really funny. Yeah.

17:00

Yeah. Pneumatic Riveter is 125. Your jet engine at 100

17:02

feet is 140.

17:07

And the loudest sound that, hey, this is

17:09

a good one for the facts. The

17:12

loudest sounds that can occur is 194.

17:16

That's the loudest sound that can occur.

17:19

Yeah. What does that mean though? Does that mean? I mean, I

17:21

know what it means, but... Yeah, I know,

17:24

but there's... How can you put... Whatever

17:26

that sound is. How can you put an upper limit? Yeah,

17:28

maybe you can. Have you put an upper limit on... I

17:31

don't know. I don't know.

17:34

I didn't know you could do that.

17:36

Maybe you can't. Pain starts

17:38

at 140. Maybe that you can't hear anything after that because

17:41

you're... Maybe you just don't hear it. First. Yeah,

17:44

maybe that's what it is. But

17:46

the Krakatoa Volcanic

17:49

Eruption, which is the loudest

17:51

sound in the world, recorded sound in the world, was 180

17:54

decibels. Her

17:56

burp is 107. This

17:59

is mad.

17:59

This is mad. That

18:02

is mad. Okay, well, I mean, there's no point

18:04

really listening to it because obviously it depends how loud your radio

18:06

is. We can't even call you. Yeah, yeah. If you turn your

18:09

radio... Well, maybe we'll have a moment and we'll tell

18:11

everyone to turn their radio up to fall

18:13

and then we'll count it in. Yeah? Let's

18:16

do that. Right, turn your radios up, loudest

18:19

it can go, and

18:20

then we'll count. And I think we've

18:22

got the burp ready. Let's listen

18:25

to the loudest burp by a woman

18:27

ever recorded. Three, two, one.

18:30

BLEAT!

18:31

Oh my... BLEAT!

18:36

Oh my lord. Oh

18:38

my god. It's

18:40

short and sharp, isn't it? Play

18:43

that again. BLEAT! Oh

18:48

my god. That has

18:50

actually made me gip a little bit. It's an abomination.

18:54

That has made me do a little, like,

18:57

sick in my throat. Eeerrrgh!

19:00

Oh no, don't play it again, you sicko!

19:02

Why would you do that?

19:05

Don't play it again! Ugh,

19:08

it's made me feel a bit... At any

19:11

point there's a lull in the show, just

19:13

play it again. No,

19:15

don't play it again, it's horrible! It's

19:18

actually making me feel sick. I bet he could

19:21

do a jingle with that. No, I never want to hear that sound

19:24

again, ever. Do not play that again. That was hot.

19:26

Oh my god, that is disturbing!

19:30

And it's so loud! Yeah,

19:32

well that's why you can't hear over a certain... Your

19:34

brain just won't let you hear over a certain... Oh, but

19:36

it's wet and it's... It's short and

19:38

sharp,

19:38

it's violent, it's really

19:41

violent. It's violent, it

19:43

sounds like it hurts! It

19:46

sounds like the devil's escaping from her.

19:48

That's what it sounds like. It

19:50

doesn't sound like she's got any control over it. It

19:52

sounds like the devil just leapt out of her throat and went, right, I'm

19:54

out of there.

19:59

Oh, it's awful. I actually

20:02

feel poorly now. I can't

20:04

believe we told people to set a record. That's

20:06

awful. We're

20:10

sorry. We're sorry, off-com.

20:14

Good news, not bad. Absolute

20:17

radio. Where real music matters. Steve,

20:20

you've relatively recently moved into

20:22

a new house. Yeah, about a year and a

20:24

half ago. Yeah, St. Leonard's.

20:28

Obviously you were renovating, we've heard

20:30

all about your kitchen, your tiling, your grouting, all

20:32

that sort of thing. When you moved in,

20:34

was there anything in the house that you

20:37

found

20:38

that the old people had left? No.

20:41

When you started

20:43

filming, there was a gap

20:45

between the cooker and one of the kitchen

20:48

units where clearly over the years a lot

20:51

of dried spaghetti had fallen down.

20:53

That was all we found. It was just

20:55

under the oven. It was about a set like 20 packs

20:57

worth. They must have kept putting it there and going, where's

21:00

that spaghetti coming? Put it there a minute ago. It

21:02

was sliding down this hole. So

21:04

much of it. I couldn't believe it. And it had been under

21:06

an oven for like 10 years. It was dried

21:08

already, but it was super dried now. It

21:10

was white. Oh, gosh. Not

21:13

good. Not good. Well, this couple on

21:15

TikTok, Mortilata they

21:18

called, they found

21:20

an incredible secret, well,

21:22

secret feature, I guess, under their kitchen

21:24

floor that they've been walking over

21:27

for years. Have a listen to this.

21:29

Little did we know we've been walking over a 300 year

21:31

old water well every day for the past 20 years. It

21:34

all started while renovating our kitchen. We

21:36

wanted underfloor heating, so we had to pull up all the original

21:38

foundations in order to lay it. While removing some

21:41

of the sand, we came across a really strange gravelly

21:43

mixture in one spot. Upon investigation,

21:45

it turned out to be hollow and full of water. Just back in a leak,

21:48

we carried on digging. And then we came across a

21:50

circle of holes. Steve, that's pretty

21:52

good. A circle of bricks.

21:53

Well,

21:56

what do you think so? It's also the start of a

21:58

horror film, surely. Yeah. of course it is,

22:00

yeah, what's down that well? Where does that well lead?

22:03

You know what I mean? Where does it go? Where's it

22:05

been? Who's down it? Why has it been covered up?

22:07

I mean, so many questions, Steve. Yeah,

22:09

yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. A lot going on there.

22:12

They have genuinely turned it into a beautiful

22:14

feature though. It

22:17

took them ages. You

22:19

have to dig it all out. It's massive, this

22:21

well.

22:23

And they've lit it

22:25

really nicely and then got like a tempered

22:28

glass on the top as well. I've

22:30

seen that in a few old pubs in my

22:32

time. Yeah, exactly that, yeah. But in your

22:34

kitchen.

22:35

Yeah, yeah,

22:37

depends where it is, doesn't it? If it's in

22:40

one of the corners, you wanted to put a kitchen unit, you'd be

22:42

like, oh, it's been down there for 400

22:44

years, just caught it up. Get the underfloor

22:46

out of your nose.

22:48

There's all sorts down there.

22:51

Three empty bottles of brandy were down there.

22:53

Oh, empty. I don't know how old they would

22:55

be, yeah, empty. Parts of an old

22:57

chamber part. Well, they said

22:59

it was original large lead-lined

23:02

window panes. So they found the lead

23:05

from them. But one of them, when they pulled it out, was

23:07

in the shape of a cross.

23:09

Move, S. Straight on,

23:11

right, move, gone. Let's get our feet.

23:13

Creepy well on a cross made out of lead. Hello,

23:16

right, move. Yep, we're off.

23:18

15 feet

23:22

deep, the couple installed lighting in the well and put a

23:24

glass floor covering it to

23:26

make it a feature. The glass weighed a whopping 290 pounds. There

23:29

you go. So it did get me thinking

23:31

about random, mad

23:33

things that you have found in

23:36

your house when you first move in. It's

23:39

odd, isn't it, when these odd things are on. Joanne says, when

23:41

I was seven, we moved to a new house

23:43

and under the carpet was an old newspaper. In

23:46

the newspaper was a picture of me and my

23:48

dad

23:48

having an ice cream at a local park when

23:50

I was two. What? That

23:54

is so freaky. That is terrifying.

23:58

I thought the house knew that she was always gonna come.

23:59

back. Yeah.

24:02

In any of the houses I've lived in, like I did my kitchen

24:04

in Manchester and when I built

24:07

that shed in Twickenham, every job I've done, I've

24:09

left a little clue

24:10

that I built it. Have you? Yeah,

24:12

on the back of a bit of wood. No, I don't.

24:15

So that made that sound a bit more sinister than it was. It

24:17

did sound really sinister. When I put this bit

24:20

in, this bit was put in on

24:22

the 17th of August 1994. Things

24:25

like, you know, I've just been so that it's 100 years'

24:27

time when they find it. Because that's

24:29

the sound of the voice in

24:31

a bit of wood that you found 100 years ago. That's what

24:33

it would sound like. It's basically

24:36

a little bit late. Yeah. So

24:38

that's what I've done. It makes it sound more sinister

24:40

though.

24:40

It is sinister. If you find anything,

24:43

and know that somebody's written from the past, it's going to be sinister.

24:45

I should have just written, help! I'm breaking

24:48

me in! And they're just sitting like

24:50

that. Scratch

24:52

the inside of the brick.

24:53

Don't look behind you. Just says that.

24:56

Don't look behind you now. Just

24:58

on a bit of wood. Taking

25:00

the wallpaper off. Don't look behind you. I've

25:02

had it. Gina says, in the

25:05

loft tucked behind the water

25:07

tank of our first home, a CNA

25:10

carrier bag containing a large number of

25:12

ripped boxes and a bone-handled

25:15

knife sharpener.

25:16

Weird. Ripped

25:19

boxes? What the? If that's weirder

25:21

than that. I put those in the bag.

25:23

I know why we get the ripped boxes.

25:26

We've got a room in our house.

25:28

Like a loft room. It's kind of hard to

25:31

explain. It's like there's a door

25:33

that goes into the roof space, which is about 16 feet

25:37

off the ground. So you can't get to it.

25:40

But I'm interested to know what's in there. All

25:42

the same time, really frightened. I don't

25:44

know why I'll go in there. Can

25:47

you get it so you can't get in?

25:49

You just need a big ladder. I've

25:51

gone a ladder up there once, but it's been painted.

25:53

The door's been painted quite a few times.

25:56

It's about half the size of a normal door. So

25:58

I've got to just free the

25:59

to free the paint and then get

26:02

inside. But I thought, what? There's nothing- You've

26:04

been there a year and a half and you haven't looked at a secret mini door.

26:07

No, there's nothing good to be found by opening

26:09

this door, I don't think. I think. Could

26:13

be another whole, like a whole another family living

26:15

in there. It could be, yeah, could be. And that's good,

26:17

is it? Is that a good thing? No, it's not good

26:20

for me to get out. We'll explain

26:22

why the electricity bill's so high. Debbie

26:27

says, we found a garden gnome which

26:29

had been used to fill a hole in

26:32

an exterior wall by a previous

26:34

lazy builder. What, so it's just like the

26:37

head coming through the wall

26:38

holding a fishing rod. Like,

26:41

here's Johnny. Yeah. Here's

26:45

no me. That's terrifying. Remember

26:48

when we went to a viewer house when I was looking to buy

26:50

a house in Manchester? Oh my God. We

26:52

walked in the house. The woman stood out,

26:54

the estate agent stood outside. She wouldn't come in. She

26:57

wouldn't show us around. And then as you go into

26:59

the house, the room directly on your right, which would have

27:01

been the front room, the lounge, or whatever you wanna call it, I

27:03

said, oh, this door's locked. Yeah, that's locked. And I was

27:06

like, oh, we got a key. Can we look in here? No, I haven't got

27:08

a key. You can't go in there. I was like, I'm not

27:10

gonna buy a house when it happens in what's

27:12

gone on in the

27:12

living room. So,

27:14

yeah. I hear what

27:16

you're saying. That was the basement as well. The

27:19

basement. The basement. We went down into

27:21

the basement. There was no light at all,

27:23

which is not unusual for a basement. But we

27:25

got out. No. It was really early days of the

27:27

boat. It wasn't an iPhone. The

27:29

phone had a... It was knocking a torch. It had a torch.

27:32

You turn it on. The light

27:34

just disappeared into nothing. You couldn't...

27:36

Swallowed the light. Didn't illuminate anything. I put my

27:38

hand in front of it. It didn't even illuminate my hand. It swallowed

27:41

the light.

27:42

And then we heard that voice go, Go,

27:44

go. And we just left.

27:47

Steve. Terrified.

27:55

God, yeah, imagine if you don't wanna start your house.

27:58

If your landlord can try and tell you.

27:59

sell your house and you don't want to leave. Just have

28:02

that in the cellar going off that noise.

28:06

That will leave it, thanks.

28:09

Anna Woodward says, we

28:11

found a super glued kitchen cupboard when

28:13

we smashed it open once after

28:15

having a new kitchen fitted. We found years

28:17

and years worth of previous owners debt

28:19

letters.

28:20

Wow. He's

28:23

whacked all these red letters in there and just

28:25

got around super glue in that shot. Super glue that

28:27

together. What letter?

28:30

If you can come in this house and find the letters, then I

28:32

will pay them, but I've never seen such

28:34

a letter. Paula

28:37

Rhodes says, when we were renovating a house many years

28:40

ago, the gentleman before had sadly died. We

28:42

found a couple hundred quid

28:44

stuffed into the walls of the extension

28:47

and bricked up.

28:48

In the walls. In the

28:50

walls, that seems a... for a couple

28:53

hundred quid seems excessive.

28:55

Well, it feels like it costs that much in repair

28:57

to get that money out. So you get you knock

28:59

all the bricks out to get to you 200 quid and go, all

29:01

right, that looks all right. Now, is that much? How much is that going

29:03

to cost? About 200 quid. All right. Liz

29:09

Sanderson says, the most bizarre thing we found,

29:11

we stripped the paper off the firewall

29:14

and underneath was a painted wall of Stagg's

29:16

Deers and a full Highland scene,

29:18

including a piper.

29:20

Oh, that's... Yeah. Sounds nice. That

29:23

does sound quite nice. Bespoke, isn't it? Yeah.

29:26

But, you know, not for everyone.

29:27

No, true.

29:28

True, yeah, yeah, that's true. Nicky Shaw says,

29:30

I bought my house off the headmaster of my

29:32

daughter's school. He left a wardrobe full

29:34

of his clothes and skiddy pants in the bathroom.

29:37

I could never look at him the same again. No.

29:40

That's weird, isn't it? That...

29:43

You know when you go in viewer house, you know

29:45

when you go in viewer house and there's people

29:47

that have got their pants drying on the radiator.

29:49

Is it real? Oh, yeah. Is it real? No,

29:51

no, that, innit?

29:53

I think so. You did? I

29:55

think so. So many times when we're looking

29:57

to buy an ASM address, I was like, oh, mate.

30:00

I don't protect your pants off the radiator. You

30:02

knew we were coming. I

30:04

remember, was it me who viewed it

30:06

for me or was it you for you? I can't remember,

30:08

it was in Twickenham.

30:10

And I won't say the actor who lived

30:12

there,

30:13

but there was quite a well-known

30:15

actor who lived there who'd obviously at

30:17

five to 10, they'd rang him.

30:20

And he was like, today? I can't remember if it

30:22

was me or you. It was you.

30:24

It was you. Who the house was for, was it me, yeah. Do

30:26

you know who I'm talking about, don't you? Yeah, I do. I

30:30

think I'm wrong, it was five to 10. And

30:32

then obviously he'd gone, oh no, got

30:34

up, throws the clothes on and ran out the house so

30:36

we could view the house at 10. Like

30:38

to a point where the bed was, you know when you first get

30:41

out of a bed and the duvet is just. Just

30:43

a crumple mess. Technically across, yeah.

30:46

And it was like, someone obviously just had a wee

30:48

in a toilet and like it was just, it was

30:50

awful. Anyway, I'll take that name

30:52

to my grave.

30:55

And who else have we got? Alison Roberts

30:57

says, we bought a house. The entire attic was ran

30:59

full of toys. Even though they'd

31:01

specifically said they never had kids in the house.

31:04

Oh, that's weird.

31:06

Unless they'd never been up there, you know, and

31:08

they were from a previous, maybe. From the previous room,

31:10

maybe. I mean, that room that I've got in my house might be full

31:12

of, you know, ceramics and I've got

31:14

an I hate ceramics. Creepy toys, yeah. Hang on, you've

31:16

got a room full of creepy ceramics.

31:19

Yeah, but it is also weird that you've not looked in that

31:21

room, I still don't understand that. I'm scared. Oh,

31:24

it's not really looked in the cellar. Do

31:26

you know what I mean? I feel too much to do. You've not been in the

31:28

cellar either. I've been in the cellar, but you know,

31:31

it's not been tidied or, I've not looked in, there

31:33

might be something hidden down there in a corner. I've not really

31:35

looked.

31:36

I've still got like the boxes from the

31:38

house. I've got about 20 boxes all sealed

31:40

up that says miscellaneous shed.

31:43

All

31:43

right, now, I've not opened

31:45

them for a year and a half. I'm

31:47

not sure I ever will. No,

31:50

I would suggest that you do not need

31:52

those things. You could probably throw them out and you'll

31:54

never miss them.

31:57

Angela D

31:59

says, it was about...

31:59

55 years ago we moved into a council

32:02

house and we found an artificial leg

32:04

in a built-in wardrobe.

32:05

As kids we played with it for months

32:07

till my mum threw it out. It seemed a bloke who

32:10

lived in the house before us had lost

32:12

his leg. Twice? But

32:14

he had two other spare legs. He'd

32:17

lost it twice. Yeah we know you've

32:19

told us. No I've lost my other leg now. Fake leg. Where's

32:23

it at? I put it in the wardrobe. Put it in a wardrobe?

32:26

Yeah put it in the wardrobe. It's

32:31

in the old house. We sold it didn't we?

32:34

Jason Manford on Absolute Radio. Where

32:36

your music matters.

32:39

We are gonna play Hit Me With Your Best Facts

32:41

but first an apology

32:44

and an explanation. Steve

32:46

it's interesting because we get I

32:48

reckon we probably get 30 emails

32:51

a week something like that? Yeah. Jason at absolute radio.co.uk.

32:54

Yeah when we do stuff right and good and stuff.

32:56

Yeah yeah yeah you make a mistake Steve and

32:58

that quickly goes

33:00

into four figures like thousands

33:03

of emails.

33:04

We last

33:07

week disqualified a best

33:10

fact because we got it

33:12

wrong. We were talking about the

33:14

fact was the number in alphabetical

33:17

order.

33:18

First number. The first

33:20

number that appears in alphabetical order. I think it's the only number

33:22

is it? That appears in alphabetical order. Yeah

33:24

apart from 18.

33:27

No don't go there again. And

33:30

we said it was 8. In our defence we did

33:32

a yes we said it well you said it was 8 not

33:34

we. You said it was 8. Oh here we go.

33:37

You agreed you snide.

33:39

I know because you said one. Well

33:41

it's not one. Two. No it's

33:43

not two. Three and I went this is a great radio this and

33:46

then I sort of zoned out and then you

33:48

said eight it's eight it's eight and I went yeah yeah. I

33:51

was happy that it was over and then we'd

33:53

all agreed it was eight we never questioned it again. Then

33:55

I made matters worse by going hang on if it's

33:57

eight it must be 80.

33:59

Lord. But in our defence,

34:02

we pre-record this show, you were

34:04

working, I'm filming over here in very hot

34:06

temperatures, it was like six o'clock, seven o'clock

34:08

in the morning, we were both shattered and

34:11

um but people were very sympathetic. And we've got a producer

34:14

whose job it is to to listen

34:16

to it and to vet these things. We haven't said anything,

34:18

I mean if we said the wrong thing we could be cancelled

34:21

quite easily because it'd just go straight past him. Exactly. You

34:23

know what I mean? I know that that's what's worrying

34:25

isn't it? Who knows? All the things I've got

34:27

out on air that we've said wrong. Laughing his head off. I

34:30

mean it's all well and full of... I'm with Steve though, I was in doubt

34:33

mate. As soon as you started counting you got past three

34:35

I was in doubt.

34:36

Yeah. What, you were counting sheep? I

34:38

think... I just made you want more sleep. No, it was

34:40

long, it was slow radio wasn't

34:42

it? Three, no that's not for four,

34:45

no that isn't because of you and it's just taking ages.

34:47

And then when eight sounded like a good idea,

34:50

yeah go on. We went for it.

34:52

We've had a lot of emails.

34:56

Angus Duncan says you disqualify one

34:58

of the hit me with your best facts saying that eight and 80 are

35:00

both in alphabetical order. In fact neither

35:02

of them are alphabetical. The only number in alphabetical

35:05

order is 40. Apart from that,

35:07

loving the show, keep up the good

35:09

work. Lacey says here's an interesting fact

35:11

you couple of numpties. A B C

35:13

D E F G H

35:16

I G. She gives you the full alphabet. Say

35:18

no more, 40. I thought she's 40. It's 40

35:22

you idiot but spell 40 like F O U R and I was like

35:27

well that doesn't work is it? Telling us off and then

35:29

spelling 40 wrong.

35:31

Robert Kettles says I just

35:34

listened to your show and you dismissed eights as being

35:36

the only numbers spelt in alphabetical order. Well

35:38

we didn't dismiss it, we accepted it. No we approved

35:40

it. That was the problem. If you can't get your

35:43

complaint emails right, you don't know what

35:45

to stand on. We'll send him a counter complaint.

35:49

Sarah

35:52

says that how do you tuck your kids

35:54

in at night after the 8 40 debacle?

36:02

Simon

36:05

Longstaff, you deprive someone of

36:07

an unwashed mug. Shame. Shame.

36:10

Probably broken by the time it gets through the post as well,

36:12

as we always say. Unwashed broken mug. Paul in

36:14

Scotland, I've got a fact for you. At least two

36:17

DJs and an absolute radio car spell.

36:19

Do I win a mug? Yeah,

36:23

sending a mug.

36:25

Claire, I thought he was eight as

36:27

well until my seven year old was laughing in the car.

36:29

A seven year old is smarter than you two. And

36:31

you as well, Claire. Don't

36:34

make it all about us. You said it was right as well.

36:36

And Andy Wells

36:38

asks the legitimate question,

36:40

Steve, which is how can hit me with your best

36:42

facts continue to live on? There

36:45

needs to be an independent investigation. It's

36:47

meant to be. Nobody's saying

36:50

the past two years of best facts.

36:53

Yeah, because it's solid now, isn't

36:55

it? And then a review of said investigation live

36:57

streamed for the nation because it's

36:59

all well and good me and you getting it wrong. But the fact that

37:01

our adjudicator, the person who's in

37:04

charge main job, that

37:07

jingles that you know, this is his main job, isn't

37:09

it? Yeah, exactly. We saw how terrible

37:11

the jingles are. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait,

37:13

wait, wait, the fact

37:16

isn't wrong. There is only one number

37:18

in the alphabet spelled alphabetically. The

37:21

fact is wrong. You know, no, no, no, no, no, but

37:23

I checked the fact and the fact isn't wrong.

37:25

Is it? So I apologize to me

37:27

and the nation that the fact is, you

37:30

know, you can't you, you know the

37:32

answer, but you would know that the answer was 40. Yeah,

37:35

but I am not here to tell you the answers.

37:37

I'm here to ask you

37:39

literally. I'm

37:41

going back on mute now. Carry on boys. No,

37:44

you're not actually you're not going to get an apology

37:46

out of him. That's what that's what he said. My,

37:49

my job is to give you the correct facts. I

37:51

give you the correct facts. You made them incorrect.

37:56

All

38:00

right, look, feel free to give a Dem

38:02

Waterman a follow on Twitter

38:06

at a Dem Waterman on Twitter.

38:08

And praise me for my fact checking. No,

38:11

because

38:11

you would have had the... you knew it

38:13

was 40. It's done half a job. Because you would have had

38:15

to check it. But it's done. If

38:17

I pick you up on everything you get wrong, I'll pick you up

38:19

on every link. We haven't got time for this.

38:21

Yeah, it's got a point. Oh, right. Like,

38:25

that is it. Unbelievable. Look

38:27

at him. Because he's going under the bus. He's pulling us

38:29

down with him. Yeah. Unbelievable.

38:33

Okay, well... Also, he's panicking now because if we

38:35

do get rid of this feature... I've

38:37

got to come on the other side. ...we've got to fill an hour with... ...I

38:40

and your driveled state. But he gets

38:42

to do another jingle. I don't want to make any more

38:44

jingles.

38:46

Right, well, look, I'm

38:49

going to apologise. I'm going to be the bigger man here because

38:51

you two are clearly not accepting any of... No, I will apologise,

38:54

you know. I mean, it was just mainly you that

38:56

started it, but... Well, that's not an apology,

38:58

is it? Try that

39:00

with your wife next time you have an argument. No,

39:04

I will apologise. I mean, it was mainly you, of course,

39:07

my love. Yeah,

39:09

it's right though, innit? But

39:13

yes, so we're going to have to... What do we do? Do

39:16

we have to

39:16

be... Do we have to look after, you know,

39:18

looking after making sure these facts are correct

39:20

now? Do we... Do we need another... We're meant

39:23

to want to check them out another layer. You

39:25

know, like, Maccaffery or whatever.

39:28

Maybe BBC's Bitesize is not the

39:30

one. There is an easy solution, by the way.

39:33

Why is it? Go on. Would you just agree that the facts are

39:35

not that great anyway and just move on? Well, I mean,

39:38

I think... Who did we give it to you last week? I can't remember now.

39:40

Kidney and Wisdom Teeth. Oh, yeah,

39:42

going to the... Oh, yeah, Antarctica, yeah,

39:44

yeah, yeah. That was a better fact anyway. So

39:48

we apologise,

39:50

but even now, knowing

39:52

that it's 40,

39:54

it's still not the best fact, so...

39:56

I mean, I think you should maybe send... Well,

39:59

we've never got many cups.

39:59

We're on the left though, have we? It's a problem, isn't it?

40:03

I don't know. Do we send him a cup? Let's find out. You

40:06

tell us, let us know. Jason at absoluteradio.co.uk

40:09

Does the person who wouldn't have won anyway,

40:11

whether

40:12

we got it right or wrong, deserve

40:14

a mug? You can tell us. Let us know on

40:16

the old email.

40:18

What's my name? Absolute

40:23

Radio. Sanford. Where

40:25

real music matters. We are

40:27

going to try and play this.

40:29

Hit me with your best fact. Fire

40:33

away.

40:37

Tindra Sadness, don't it? It just

40:39

sounds different now, doesn't it? It does sound

40:41

different. It sounded really low-key then. It's

40:44

easy joyous, isn't it? Yeah, it did. But

40:46

no, it just feels like everyone's on our back.

40:48

I mean, crack it, those

40:50

emails. Okay. They were the nice ones,

40:52

huh? No. I

40:55

won't even tell you what they said on social media, Steve. My goodness.

40:58

No. My goodness. We'll

41:02

start.

41:03

Val Patterson. Just

41:05

found out that the Chuppa Chupp's logo

41:08

was drawn by Salvador. I know this. Go

41:10

on. Salvador Dali. I know that. Salvador Dali.

41:13

Yeah. How

41:16

did you know that? One

41:19

of those things I know. Something that's gone

41:21

into your head. It's a good one. Salvador

41:23

Dali wrote the Chuppa Chupps. Did the Chuppa Chupps

41:25

logo, yeah? Good

41:28

one. Good one to slip into a conversation as well.

41:31

Yeah, but the people who are eating the Chuppa Chupps are normally

41:33

kids, aren't they? They're not. Who? What? How

41:36

do you know that? What? It's hard

41:38

to... That's true, yeah.

41:40

Yeah. Apparently, she also

41:42

adds, and this is weirdly more interesting,

41:47

that the lollipops

41:49

are... What has she said here? In-come pops.

41:52

She's put... Lollipops are so-called

41:54

because of a horse. Mm.

41:58

What? What is that? What is that, then? I don't know what

42:00

that means. I'm interested in that. I'd

42:02

like to know the fact of how you meant to open

42:04

them. Anyone have a system?

42:06

No, no idea. What

42:09

are they tying them up with? Basically,

42:11

I think you twist it a bit. You twist it a bit. You

42:13

twist it a bit more and then in the end you get a key at your pocket

42:15

and cut it. That's what happens, isn't it?

42:18

It doesn't make any sense. They just saw that out.

42:20

It's like sellotaped. I

42:23

feel like there's a YouTube video of like

42:25

a hack of going, you're struggling to open this jumper

42:27

shop. This is what you're meant to do and it'll be something really

42:29

simple, but no one's told us.

42:31

I've not seen that yet. Somebody

42:34

can send it. That would be great. I don't know if there is one,

42:36

but it just feels like there should be. Yeah,

42:39

yeah. Luke says Jason and crew

42:41

love the morning show. Crew. We've got a crew,

42:44

Steve. Morning. You're part of my crew.

42:46

All right. We've got to wear a special hat. If

42:51

you want. My interesting fact

42:53

is that you're more likely to be killed me.

42:58

Glad I'm just part of the crew. Carry on. When's

43:00

Jason getting killed? Are

43:05

the crew all right? You are. The

43:07

crew finally says it. Okay. Okay,

43:09

that's fine then. Whoo. That was

43:11

a dudged up bullet. Was it a bullet? You're

43:17

more likely to be killed by a vending machine

43:19

than a shark.

43:20

Really? It's pretty

43:23

good, isn't it? Depends where you are, I suppose.

43:26

Well, yeah, if you're in the sea, it's not going to be a week.

43:28

If you're on a boat or in the sea, I would... It's

43:31

unlikely that vending machines are going to kick and we get you.

43:35

Unless you're on a cruise ship

43:37

and the vending machine got you. I feel

43:39

like that's unlucky, that man. Yeah, that's

43:41

unlucky. 13 deaths

43:44

a year

43:45

by vending machines. Well, there's less shark

43:47

deaths than that, isn't there? Nine shark

43:50

attacks, yes. Nine shark

43:52

deaths, yeah. That's from Luke, who

43:54

is in Cumbria. We buy any car. It's

43:58

a good fact. It's a good one to slip into...

43:59

Conversation quite like that one every time you use

44:02

a vending machine at work, you know, hey be careful with

44:04

that John What is I'm just gonna go get

44:06

twigs? Well,

44:11

it's dangerous work we do

44:18

Michelle

44:20

says penguins don't have teeth, but their

44:22

tongues and roof of their mouth is full

44:25

of spikes

44:26

Isn't

44:30

it Can't

44:32

fly they can't walk the wobbly walk, but

44:35

you know go near my take your hands off without

44:37

any teeth. Yes

44:39

Scott's

44:44

Yeah, Scott says the color orange

44:47

was called yellow red in England until

44:49

the fruit came to the country

44:51

Yellow

44:54

red yellow red You

44:56

know What we

44:58

what we call in this? So the

45:01

fruit came before the color fruit

45:03

your fruit turned up. What's that called?

45:05

That's an orange That looks it's a yellow red

45:07

in it. We should call that a yellow red Well,

45:10

no, they call it an orange in other parts of the world

45:13

Let's change the name of that color

45:15

Yeah That's pretty good. I like

45:17

that We've got strong we've got strong

45:20

here today. We are strong. I just don't believe

45:22

anything Well,

45:24

I know I'm trying to forget about that It

45:27

is solid. I'm aware that it's solid

45:30

Well, I feel like the only way the old point

45:32

is they're meant to be checked Aren't they but I feel like

45:34

the the person who's checking them has

45:36

not got our best interests at heart So that's what I'm worried

45:38

about. I think it's trying to trap us. Well He's

45:41

looking out for himself. He's looking out for number

45:43

one, isn't he?

45:44

Mm-hmm.

45:45

That's that's what's happened there our producer who's

45:47

checking his knees long as he's alright You know, I

45:49

mean and that is a right Jack. Yep, that's

45:52

a fact Just Scott

45:55

Wilton says if you could count continuously

45:58

in perfect rhythm. Oh, no

45:59

We're at numbers again. It's going to

46:02

get terrible. Eight?

46:05

Is it eight? One

46:10

number per second without breaks

46:13

for sleeping, eating and living. It

46:15

would take 31 years, 251 days, 6 hours, 50 minutes, 46 seconds

46:18

to get to 1 billion.

46:25

There you go. Mark

46:30

Richardson, you can tell which octopus

46:32

is going to win in a fight by the colour they

46:35

changed to.

46:36

Oh, really?

46:38

What's so likely?

46:40

He's going to win this, he's just gone purple. You

46:43

know what I mean? Yeah, must be. But

46:45

also, the other octopus fact we know is one

46:47

of the octopus's legs is not a leg, is it?

46:50

So you could be being

46:52

bashed around the edge by someone else. Yeah,

46:56

no one would have a different colour. Oh,

46:58

mate, come on, mate, that's out of order. That's

47:01

what's happened there. Good

47:03

to know. That would make

47:05

boxing more interesting, wouldn't it?

47:07

Would it, but we'd have a little glove on the end? No,

47:11

like if the whole... Oh.

47:24

You were talking about changing colour,

47:26

okay, how was it? I

47:29

was talking about changing colour, you were

47:31

talking about the boxer putting

47:34

a little tiny boxing glove on the end of it. Yeah,

47:36

because you couldn't even block it because it would be a body blow

47:38

if you went for it, so that's the thing. It's just

47:40

got free reign.

47:42

Why have I not got a mental image

47:45

with one with a boxing glove on the end? Three

47:48

pronged attack. And two boxers fighting

47:50

with him. Two boxers.

47:53

Oh, he's coming right in

47:55

there. Oh, God. That's

47:59

not good.

47:59

rules.

48:01

Right we'll do a couple more facts then we'll pick a winner for

48:03

this week Steve.

48:04

Okay. Jane

48:07

says did you know in 2007 in Iran the police detained 14 squirrels

48:11

for spying.

48:13

Oh really? Okay

48:15

that's good. So

48:17

Raya says if you were to put the living

48:19

organism that is the sponge in

48:22

a blender and blend it up and

48:24

pour that blended up sponge back into

48:27

the sea the bits would come together to form

48:29

a new sponge. Oh nature.

48:31

More questions than answers isn't it? Brilliant. Love

48:34

it. There really is. Seems harsh as well doesn't

48:36

it? What

48:36

have you done that for? It'll

48:39

be alright. Watch this. Louise

48:43

Campbell says in 1975 women in Iceland

48:45

went on strike to show how their roles were

48:47

important. The whole country nearly

48:50

came to a standstill because men couldn't

48:52

handle their job roles. It's known as Women's

48:54

Day.

48:55

Good idea.

48:57

I can see that. I

48:59

can see that. Definitely would have. In 1975

49:01

imagine what it was like back then when

49:03

they were literally doing every other job.

49:05

Imagine there must be kids running around

49:07

with no nappies on. Everyone

49:10

hungry. I have all sorts of things that are not happening

49:13

to prove a point. I like that. That's what

49:15

striking is all about. We've got to pick a winner

49:17

Steve. We've got to pick a winner. Okay.

49:19

I'll have a quick rattle

49:21

through. We've got Salvador Dali designing

49:23

the Chuppa Chupp's logo. It is good.

49:25

That one is a good one. It is a good one.

49:28

And also lollipops are so called because of a

49:30

horse. She throws that in as well. Yeah

49:32

I'd like to know that bit. I'd like to know what that is. Luke

49:35

told us that more vending machine

49:37

deaths occur than shark deaths.

49:39

Michelle told us about penguins mouths being full

49:41

of spikes. Scott

49:44

told us about the the

49:46

color orange used to be called the yellow-red before

49:48

the fruits came to the country. Scott

49:50

told us that it'd take over 31 years

49:53

to count to one billion. Mark

49:55

Richardson, you can tell an octopus

49:57

winning

49:58

a fight because of the color they changed to.

49:59

Women went on strike in 1975 to

50:02

prove how important their job role

50:04

was. It's called Women's Day, that's Louise. And

50:07

the sponge in a blender would

50:09

go back into the sea, would go back to being

50:11

a sponge. And 14 squirrels were

50:14

arrested for spying in 2007. Steve,

50:18

is there a winner? I think so. Is there anything

50:20

you want to know more about?

50:23

I think with the octopus

50:25

thing we have all the facts and I like the idea.

50:28

I like an octopus fact.

50:30

We've got a few over the years. But I'd

50:32

like to see that. Would you like to see one changing

50:35

colour? I'd like to see a couple of them having a scrap. And

50:37

then one of them going a different colour going, oh,

50:39

he's going to win this. So I think

50:42

that's the one for me. It's a very

50:44

strong week though, I think. It's hard to, you

50:46

know. It is a strong week. It's hard to find one.

50:48

I want to know more about these spying

50:50

squirrels because I feel like there's a Pixar

50:53

film in it.

50:54

Yeah. Or it could be, yeah. Hard

50:57

for, I'd imagine. You know, yeah, it's good. Good.

51:00

Something in that as well. Why

51:02

was Lollipops culled

51:04

because of a horse? Are they named after a horse? I want

51:07

to know that as well.

51:08

I'm like, oh, it's too good. It's

51:10

a strong week. Which one are you going to be able to slip into conversation?

51:12

The vending machine one and the shark attack?

51:14

I think the octopus one, I think, is

51:17

good. Steve's got

51:19

his answer. I'm trying to create

51:21

some mystery here, Steve. I'm trying to replenish

51:23

this game that's been spoiled. I

51:25

know. I don't know about the energy this week because I could just

51:27

feel the weight of, you know, all that still filling in

51:29

the room. Oh, the expectation. I can

51:31

feel people completely every fact we say. Yeah,

51:34

that's what I mean. What if that's not

51:36

true? I just thought he might have

51:38

just done us up like a kipper again.

51:40

I know, exactly. It's just changing something. The octopus

51:42

is changing color. You're a pair of idiots. Why would

51:44

they change color? No, it's, they don't even fight. I

51:46

feel like one of the most peaceful squids there

51:49

is. Squid. That

51:51

would be a trouble for that now. Peaceful

51:54

squids there is. Why

51:57

that's funny. I

51:59

know.

51:59

I

52:01

feel like when Paolo Dicanao pushed the referee

52:03

that time and spoiled football.

52:04

Yeah, that's what it feels like to happen. Do you remember that moment?

52:07

Yeah, too. Oh my God, I didn't know that

52:09

could happen.

52:10

Yeah. Yeah, and

52:12

it's like, oh, and Zidane headbutted

52:14

the other player in the World Cup final. Oh my

52:16

God, football's ruined. Play it safe

52:19

then and go for something like just facts

52:21

like a vending machine and a sharp. But then somebody else

52:23

will come up and go, well, that's not really a shi- No, well,

52:26

let's not second-guess ourselves, Steve. We're

52:28

right here.

52:29

We're on the right side of history. If somebody

52:32

told, I don't know the answer, right? This

52:34

is why they're good facts. That's why they're piquing

52:36

our interest. But the idea that something changes

52:38

colour and that says it's definitely going to win the

52:41

fight, I think that's great. And I can

52:43

use that. I'm near the sea.

52:46

I'll use that. There's many octopuses

52:48

down there. Yeah, we'll go with

52:50

that. Octopuses. Maybe

52:52

on plates. But yeah. Octopuses that

52:55

stand tall, turn dark and spread their

52:57

web in a Nosferatu pose, likely

53:00

showing aggression. Conversely,

53:03

octopuses may display a pale colour after losing

53:05

a fight or when trying to avoid

53:07

conflict.

53:09

So that's our winner. Well

53:12

done to you. That's Mark Richardson,

53:15

who has won this week a Jason Manford

53:17

Show mug. Smashed mug on his way

53:19

to you.

53:20

It could be the last one,

53:22

depending on what the students' inquiry says about

53:25

this game for next week's show.

53:29

Jason Manford.

53:31

Absolute radio. We're real music

53:34

matters. Steve, where

53:36

we're going,

53:38

we don't need roads. Oh, we're

53:40

going to the island. Yeah,

53:43

we're going to. Like

53:45

Gilly Trowel again or somewhere like that. Just

53:48

you need donkeys and stuff. You've

53:51

seen the musical

53:54

Back to the Future, haven't you? I have seen the musical Back

53:56

to the Future. I went to it with my seven year old about

53:58

eight months ago. Absolutely lovely.

53:59

What did you think you were raving about it? He

54:02

loved it anyway, but he'd listen to the

54:04

soundtrack on Spotify I know all the songs in

54:06

a lovely time really fantastic. Well, it's highly

54:09

recommended. Great guns Well,

54:11

I'm asking Steve if you may have heard a third

54:14

voice in the background there We've got one

54:16

and only the brilliant Corey

54:18

English who's currently playing Doc

54:21

Brown in Back to the

54:23

Future the musical morning Corey.

54:25

Good morning. Good morning. Good

54:28

to be here It's lovely

54:29

to have you. It's lovely to have you and for

54:32

avid listeners to the to

54:34

the show Or to followers of

54:36

my career me and Corey work

54:38

together. We work together a couple of times, aren't

54:40

we? But first

54:43

the time was we did the wonderful

54:46

the producers on tour, didn't we? Corey

54:49

was Max Bialysteg. That was

54:51

Leo Bloom wasn't that a lovely time in our

54:53

lives. It was indeed now That was your musical

54:55

debut, wasn't it? Yes, sort

54:57

of yeah, I've done I've done the pretty good Sweetie

55:00

Todd didn't I but but that was the first one as

55:02

a yes a lead. Yeah, what a tree I

55:07

don't think you didn't Sweeney Todd. No,

55:09

I was dead by our fate in Sweeney Todd But

55:13

the producers was yeah, that

55:15

was a baptism of fire because

55:17

once you're on stage you never off

55:19

Exactly for on that train But

55:22

I tell you we've stayed friends ever since and

55:25

I've loved watching everything you do And

55:27

so when Back to the Future the musical

55:29

came along and then you

55:31

became Doc Brown The two things for me

55:33

were just like it just totally made sense. I was like,

55:36

of course Corey English should be Doc

55:38

Brown. He's brilliant Well,

55:40

what I saw I went with my family

55:43

because we knew Roger Bart

55:45

who was playing the Doc Brown

55:46

So I couldn't wait to go see

55:48

it and take Sammy because we are all on tour

55:51

together Roger my wife and my son Sammy

55:53

and

55:53

so we couldn't wait to see Roger do

55:55

his thing and Sammy

55:58

turned to me went you could play background. I was like,

56:01

nah, no, I can't. I'm

56:04

too short. So then the

56:08

audition came up and I'm like, Oh my god, they're

56:10

gonna see me for it. So when I walked

56:12

into room, it was right after COVID

56:14

and there was 20, 20 people

56:17

in the room. And I had, I you

56:19

know, I'd only been doing self tapes up

56:21

until then and then to see 20 people

56:24

in front of me to audition for. I

56:26

thought, Oh my god, and I really

56:28

said, What the

56:29

are you all doing here? I'm not used

56:31

to seeing all these people put your masks on. And

56:36

then I said, I said, Look, I

56:38

know I'm your Danny DeVito option for

56:40

this part. So I totally

56:42

get it. And luckily,

56:46

I was really relaxed. I had a great

56:48

audition. And yeah, so

56:50

when you went to

56:52

see it was Corey in it? No,

56:54

he wasn't. No, was that no, was that the last cast? Right.

56:57

Right. Yes. Yeah,

56:59

you mentioned the Corey was coming in soon. But

57:01

I don't think you Yes. Yeah, I did.

57:04

I did November, December. Roger

57:06

needed a break for Thanksgiving. I

57:09

went in.

57:11

Now you took your but

57:15

you took your boy Steve. I did took

57:17

my seven year old. He's sort of obsessed with

57:19

it. It's never to do me just found

57:21

out he likes cars and time travel.

57:23

He likes to Titanic as well. There's no logic to it. Is

57:25

that what's great?

57:28

What's kind of cool about Back to the Future

57:30

is,

57:31

you know, the girls got their frozen

57:34

and wicked. But this one, this

57:36

one's a boy musical. There's

57:39

so many dads bringing

57:41

their kids with you know, without the

57:44

sisters and the daughters and the wives just

57:47

the dads are bringing their boys. It's,

57:49

it's pretty cool. Up is

57:52

they're dressed up as Doc Brown and

57:54

Marty. It's so

57:56

cool. That's very cool.

57:59

That's cute. Well, stick around

58:02

there Corey. We'll come back to you in a second

58:04

chat more back to the future

58:11

You're

58:13

having a bit of a cast change are you moving people

58:16

around and getting new people? Yeah,

58:18

we had a few people You know every every

58:20

year the you know the producers like to

58:23

shake things up and also give some of the

58:25

you know The chorus people to move on to other jobs.

58:27

So back to the future heading into its

58:29

third year So I'm gonna be joining

58:32

them for the you know, this the third year I've

58:34

been doing it for about four to five months now

58:36

audiences are just laughing it

58:38

up Well, you're in a show like that I mean I've

58:41

sort of had a little bit of that with Wizard of Oz

58:43

because you know people come along and

58:45

they already know the Storyline famously,

58:48

you know, there's no actual jeopardy because people

58:50

go well, I know what happens but for some magical

58:53

reason that he Forget

58:55

about it and just go along with it. Have

58:57

you found that for yourselves? Totally I mean the the

58:59

big challenges try to stay ahead of the audience

59:01

But when they do know it inside now,

59:04

which a lot of them do yeah, some of the kids don't

59:06

but but the parents certainly do

59:09

So to try

59:11

and stay ahead of them, but

59:13

you know every night Even

59:15

a Thursday matinee that audience

59:18

cheers and applauds when

59:20

Biff gets smacked.

59:22

I mean they like It's

59:27

Incredible, I mean when I saw

59:29

the first time I mean I was you know, I

59:31

love that moment

59:33

But I didn't like whooping holler

59:36

but every I mean they love it so much.

59:38

They just love watching Biff get smacked

59:40

It's it's pretty cool Well,

59:43

he's the first time the car arrives as well.

59:45

That's another big moment, isn't it? Yeah,

59:48

I mean, I'm luckily in

59:50

the car Good

59:52

when they applaud you can take that applause Yeah,

59:56

so I think I might sunlight

59:59

The car is the star, you know,

1:00:02

really. Yeah. Which is cool.

1:00:04

Yeah, of course. Well, I had that with

1:00:06

when I did Chitty Chitty Bang Bang and Michael

1:00:09

Bawse said, when I rang him for tips

1:00:12

on the show, he said, the car's the star. Don't

1:00:14

worry about it. And in our show, it

1:00:17

even got the last bow.

1:00:19

Like, you

1:00:22

know, the star of the show gets the last bow. We

1:00:24

all had to turn to the car and the car

1:00:27

did a little dip. The stage.

1:00:32

Got dressing room one. Honestly, it was a nightmare.

1:00:35

It was fun. Little smart

1:00:37

cars visiting it. Terrible, terrible. People

1:00:40

who've not seen it and maybe you've seen the

1:00:43

film and, you know, sort of half

1:00:45

remember the film from back in the day. What would you what

1:00:47

would you say to them? What's what's the main thing

1:00:49

about coming along

1:00:49

to this show? Mostly it is

1:00:52

pure entertainment and it's

1:00:54

it's pure fun.

1:00:56

And the bonding

1:00:59

between, you know, the generations

1:01:01

between the dad and the kids and

1:01:03

the mom and the kids

1:01:04

is is really wonderful. I was

1:01:07

I was 17 when the film came out. So it

1:01:09

was like, wow, right in

1:01:11

my prime teenage

1:01:14

hood. And it was it's

1:01:16

brought back so many memories of that time. And

1:01:19

to be able to share that with with my kids,

1:01:21

my 11 year old, I

1:01:23

mean, he went out and grabbed a guitar and started learning

1:01:26

Johnny B. Good as soon as, you know,

1:01:28

came home after it. And he enjoyed

1:01:30

he enjoyed the musical more than the film,

1:01:33

because the musical

1:01:34

it moves a little bit quicker than the

1:01:36

film.

1:01:37

So the younger YouTube generation

1:01:39

of kids, they're they like

1:01:42

the musical pace of it. But

1:01:45

no one no one would go home to

1:01:47

satisfy. That's for sure. From seeing Back to

1:01:49

the Future. No, well, it's one all great

1:01:51

night out. All the awards after awards, doesn't it? And the

1:01:55

last 20 minutes of the of the show,

1:01:57

I feel like I'm on a film set. because

1:02:01

it's so high tech, state

1:02:03

of the art,

1:02:04

big stuff going on. It's the closest

1:02:06

thing to an action adventure star that I will ever

1:02:09

be,

1:02:10

being up on the clock tower.

1:02:12

And it's pretty

1:02:14

remarkable. Yeah, it's remarkable. How

1:02:17

was it for you as an audience member, Steve? It's

1:02:19

amazing. There's this kind of like mesh screen

1:02:21

in front, isn't there, where you can like put the

1:02:24

clock tower and they're sort of climbing behind it. And

1:02:26

it's great to watch, it is good. But that interaction

1:02:29

between Doc and Marty, I remember that

1:02:31

the two actors who were doing it at the time looked like they were really

1:02:34

having fun. Some of it, Jason, is,

1:02:36

well, like what me and you did with

1:02:39

Max and Leo.

1:02:40

They built in a couple

1:02:42

of free moments for Marty and Doc

1:02:44

to, just a little unscripted,

1:02:49

a free moment, we call it, a free moment.

1:02:52

They don't go on as long as ours. That's dangerous with you. That

1:02:55

is dangerous with you, mate. So,

1:02:57

yeah, I may have been spanked a few

1:02:59

times by our creator Bob Gale,

1:03:02

but for the most part, it's been

1:03:04

good. You're getting

1:03:06

away with it. I love it, I love it.

1:03:08

Well, look, Corey English is Doc Brown and

1:03:11

it's a brilliant show. It's at the

1:03:14

Delphi Theatre in the West End. New

1:03:16

cast involves Sarah Goggin, Jay

1:03:18

Perry, Jordan Pearson, Lee

1:03:21

Ormsby, lots

1:03:21

of great new people going

1:03:24

in. All absolute brilliant West End

1:03:26

stalwarts and you're gonna have a great time. So go and

1:03:28

see Back to the Future, the musical this year. Corey,

1:03:33

so lovely to speak to you. Oh, nice

1:03:35

to chat with

1:03:35

you guys. Jason Manford on Absolute Radio.

1:03:41

Welcome to Music Matters. Thanks

1:03:43

for joining us this morning here on Absolute Radio.

1:03:46

You

1:03:46

can always drop us an email, jasonatomusic.com. Also,

1:03:49

you can always drop us an email, jasonatabsoluteradio.co.uk.

1:03:54

Steve is in Gozo filming Madame

1:03:56

Blanc Mysteries. Still cracking on

1:03:58

with that, Steve? Yeah. week down another

1:04:01

four or five to go I think so yeah just

1:04:04

cracking on waiting for the weather to get a little

1:04:06

bit not less hot so we can not sweat

1:04:08

yeah bless you well we're following all

1:04:10

that on the socials and

1:04:13

this is my last day of the Wizard of

1:04:15

Oz so hopefully you've managed to see it

1:04:17

over the summer thanks if you have and

1:04:20

the next thing you'll be I think next thing

1:04:22

we pan so next in Manchester

1:04:25

Jack and the Beanstalk at Christmas but

1:04:28

in the meantime we'll see you here next week

1:04:30

on Absolute Radio