0:00

Fill her up. You're

0:02

listening to the Gas Digital Network.

0:06

What is going on everybody? Welcome to the

0:09

show. It's a bonus episode this week

0:11

and you could have heard it way sooner

0:13

if you would just subscribe over at the brand

0:15

new gasdigital.com

0:18

website that just went up. And when you subscribe,

0:21

not only will you get bonus episodes like this of

0:23

our movie podcast, you'll also get

0:26

episodes early like Dave Lombardo, Brandon

0:28

Boyd, Brian Fair from Shadows Fall.

0:31

And we got a bunch of great podcasts coming up

0:33

ahead of the Milwaukee Metal

0:35

Fest, which is returning May 25th

0:37

through the 28th. Get your tickets at

0:39

the rave.com slash metal fest. I

0:41

want to see everybody come up from Chicago. Everybody come down

0:44

from Minneapolis. It's going to be a lot of fun.

0:46

Who knows? Maybe we'll even do a live.

0:48

How awesome is this there? We'll see. I

0:51

want to thank our sponsors, centurymedia.store.

0:54

Make sure you check out the new Unearthed, the new Jesus

0:56

piece, the new Frozen Soul

0:58

is a banger. Glacial Domination, that's coming out

1:01

May 19th. No promo code needed, just

1:03

centurymedia.store.

1:04

Also thank you

1:06

to our new sponsor, Metal Blade. Metal

1:08

Blade Records, you know them, you love them, and they

1:10

have a ton of great releases out

1:12

currently like the

1:14

new Goat Whore, the new Cattle Decapitation,

1:16

which you can both check out at metalblade.com

1:18

slash goat whore or metalblade.com slash

1:20

cattle decapitation. And

1:23

make sure you pre-order the new Death Ray Vision.

1:26

That's coming out June 30th. Big shout out

1:28

to Mike D and the boys. The record sounds

1:30

killer.

1:31

Check out the new single Behead the King and watch

1:33

the video now at metalblade.com slash Death

1:35

Ray Vision. And I got to give

1:37

a big shout out to Somnuri who are

1:39

playing our Metal Fest pre-party. They

1:42

have a new record coming out on monarchheavy.com,

1:45

another one of our festival and podcast sponsors.

1:48

Love monarchheavy.com. You know them from

1:50

putting out great records like Black Label and

1:52

Crowbar. And now they got the new Creeping Death, which

1:54

you can pre-order and save 15% on at monarchheavy.com.

1:57

Just use the promo code 666. and

2:00

the new Somnaree Desiderium album. Also,

2:04

meet and greets from Milwaukee Metal Fest and new Haybreed

2:06

merch, new Jostner merch,

2:07

new Milwaukee Metal Fest merch is available at martistore.net,

2:11

plus we have meet and greets and

2:14

we have some flags,

2:17

some Milwaukee Metal Fest flags we just got.

2:19

They look awesome, four by four flags. Fly

2:22

that outside of your house. Hell

2:24

yeah, I gotta get the bands taking them with

2:26

it too. I'm

2:29

taking pictures with them, you know, during the meet

2:31

and greets and stuff, have everybody wave the flags. Also

2:34

wanna thank,

2:36

let's see, indiemerchstore.com, our

2:38

biggest best sponsor and our biggest vendor this

2:40

year. One of the biggest tents you'll see over there, probably

2:43

two, two booths, indiemerchstore.com,

2:45

promo code JOSTHETENT, and right now you'll

2:48

see all the great deals they have.

2:49

You'll save 10%, but you'll also get a bunch

2:51

of merchandise you can't get anywhere else. And

2:54

I just love indiemerchstore.com. I can't thank

2:56

them enough. I wanna support a great company and

2:58

I wanna support all the bands that they have

3:01

restocks on and pre-orders for.

3:03

Indiemerchstore.com, promo code JOSTHETENT.

3:07

All right, everybody, enjoy this episode of the How Awesome Is This

3:09

podcast. We're watching JCVD's classic

3:12

action sci-fi thriller.

3:14

This shit is wild. This,

3:17

for $3 million budget or whatever it was, loved

3:20

it.

3:21

Now on to the show.

3:23

♪ How awesome, how awesome,

3:26

how awesome is this podcast ♪

3:29

What is going on, everybody? Welcome

3:31

to the show. This is episode 34 of

3:35

the How Awesome Is This podcast.

3:37

On today's episode,

3:39

we watched the 1989 action sci-fi classic starring

3:45

Jean-Claude Van Damme, the

3:47

one and only Cyborg,

3:50

one of the greatest films

3:53

ever made for half a million. We

3:56

have Charlie Belmore, Howard Jones, and Brian

3:58

McKay in the house. What's up? Slayers

4:02

what was a half a million dollars? Yeah

4:05

seems like a lot Well that well

4:07

that I will say I don't know if

4:09

anybody read about this I did because I was

4:12

like What is this what is happening

4:14

here? the

4:16

director was supposed to be directing

4:18

a

4:19

Spider-man movie and

4:22

a master's in universe 2 with

4:24

that simultaneously for For

4:28

Canon films and then they

4:30

lost both licenses like

4:32

on a Thursday And then Friday

4:34

Saturday Sunday because they had already built

4:37

two million dollars worth of sets and costumes

4:39

for both movies And then Friday

4:41

Saturday Sunday this guy just lists

4:43

a quote-unquote Listen to Def

4:45

leopard and I'm gonna assume

4:48

that did a lot of cocaine and just wrote

4:50

this entire movie

4:52

And just what said how do we use

4:54

this New York set and then this apocalyptic

4:56

set and make a new movie

4:58

and It was this That's

5:03

incredible. Yeah, that's right.

5:05

I could see that because all

5:07

the bad guys were hired already

5:09

as actors to be

5:11

key man's boys in the second he-man

5:14

movie and they're all wearing their costumes from

5:21

That's amazing

5:23

Fender yeah, let's

5:25

watch the trailer Absolutely

5:40

Is

5:51

reshaping the world brutal

5:55

they are

5:59

Jean Claude Van Damme is leading

6:02

the battle between good

6:04

and evil. Woooooo! Hahahaha!

6:08

Take em' out! And it's never been fought

6:11

before. This is better music than the movie.

6:15

We gotta talk about that soundtrack. To

6:19

rescue a cyborg who holds

6:21

the secret for saving the world. Why

6:24

did you help me? I don't want to see it

6:26

die. From the dust of destruction.

6:29

So wait, no cyborg? No walking dead, right? Because

6:32

I have to get to Atlanta to get to the C.C.C.

6:34

Hahahaha! For

6:37

my sake, my friend. Jean

6:41

Claude Van Damme has become the first

6:43

hero of the 21st century. What?

6:48

Did

6:49

you see him, Tootsie? Dude.

6:58

This was so good. This

7:02

movie. Oh, I adored it. I

7:05

will watch it often. I

7:07

will say the funniest part is, you

7:09

know, we're

7:11

obviously all musicians and they have the

7:13

most ridiculous musician names. Music

7:16

instrument based names in this movie.

7:18

Yes.

7:19

Fender Tramolo and Gibson Rickenbacker

7:22

and Marshall Stratt. And

7:25

I think Natey Simmons, cause of Simmons'

7:27

kit. That's so funny, dude. One

7:30

of the girls' names is Pearl. Yeah.

7:32

And it's in the drum

7:35

set. Pearl Prophet is

7:37

in the keyboard. The

7:40

whole thing. But then, the best

7:43

part is, not one person

7:46

mentions anybody's name the

7:48

entire movie. No. One

7:51

time where the chick is

7:54

like, hey Gibbs. And then

7:57

one or two of them just mention Fender.

7:59

That's it.

9:40

Jean-Claude

10:00

Van Damme in to make it cut. And

10:02

then this is the movie that we

10:05

see. We see Jean-Claude Van

10:07

Damme's cut. Oh

10:10

my God. Cause yeah, I saw that

10:12

where he was writing the script.

10:15

Albert Pian is his name. He was writing the script.

10:17

Originally it was titled Slinger.

10:19

I did see that that- I will say it should

10:22

still be titled Slinger because

10:24

the cyborg's in it for about

10:27

three minutes. It makes

10:29

no sense.

10:31

It makes no sense. I didn't

10:33

remember the movie, but did you guys assume

10:36

like when it started like, oh yeah, obviously

10:38

Jean-Claude

10:39

Van Damme is a cyborg because-

10:42

I for sure got this movie confused with Universal

10:44

Soldier. Oh yeah. Yeah,

10:46

I'm just like, wait, wait.

10:48

There's a cyborg that needs protecting.

10:51

Yeah. What? And

10:55

somewhere in the database

10:57

or the mainframe or somewhere within

10:59

the cyborg is the cure

11:01

for the plague. Right. But

11:04

they can't access it. Nobody's actually bothered

11:06

by at all. Quick question.

11:08

Just one girl. Why is she a cyborg?

11:11

Second question. Why

11:15

are there cyborgs? None

11:17

of it matters as long

11:19

as JCVD is

11:22

kicking people

11:22

in the face, stabbing

11:25

people, swinging on a pipe,

11:27

not even a rope. How do you swing

11:29

on a pipe?

11:30

It makes no sense. He definitely did

11:32

that. There is a bad guy in chain

11:34

mail. This movie is already a

11:37

B plus the moment you see the chain mail.

11:39

I'm like, all right, we're already at a B. Like,

11:42

it can only be better from here. The

11:44

bad guy, he's a mix of three

11:46

things. He's Goro from

11:48

Mortal Kombat. He's Roman

11:51

Reigns and he's Scott

11:53

Steiner. He's all three of those.

11:57

And somebody else is doing his voice.

11:59

You know what?

11:59

But to me, it felt

12:02

like you ever watched Seinfeld, you

12:04

know the episode where they go to the parade

12:06

and the guy's like, why'd you know wearing your pin?

12:09

You know, like, I

12:11

felt like the bad guy was that guy

12:13

just like on roid rage. They

12:17

wanted this movie to be

12:20

starred by, to

12:22

star Chuck Norris.

12:24

And they couldn't get

12:26

it. And then

12:29

because of the success of Bloodsport,

12:33

they just took advantage of JCVD,

12:36

who by the way, you know, his stamp

12:38

is all over this movie.

12:41

They, when they rewrote it to tailor

12:43

it, you know, to Jean-Claude

12:45

Van Damme, I mean, his ego, literally

12:48

he gets crucified in this, I

12:51

could just picture this

12:52

meeting where,

12:54

and we'll get to that part, but where he's like,

12:57

but how are you gonna get down? Like we have to write in, he's like,

13:00

that's just the thing. I'm going to kick

13:02

the wood. I'm going to kick the wood so hard

13:05

that I'm going to de-crucify myself.

13:07

I'm gonna fucking escape that. Only

13:10

Jesus was hard like me. I

13:14

literally wrote, Jean,

13:17

that's not how crucifixions work. Dude,

13:22

they, he- You don't get stronger

13:25

as the crucifixion goes on. What?

13:30

VDJC is real,

13:33

bro.

13:34

VDJC. So

13:39

apparently Jean-Claude Van

13:41

Damme took a guy's eye in this

13:43

movie for real. Right, wasn't

13:45

that why they got sued? And

13:47

why they got under? He got paid. I

13:49

looked into it further and

13:51

they didn't, that guy didn't sue

13:53

until 1993, when

13:56

Universal Soldier was a hit. Well,

13:58

because he knew how much- money this movie

14:01

made directly sued JCVD.

14:03

He didn't, he sued the company. Like

14:06

it sounds very odd. Wow.

14:10

Did he win? That dude made the budget

14:12

of the movie half a million dollars. Yeah, you got

14:14

paid half a mil. But to

14:16

lose an eye.

14:18

One thing I really, really

14:20

loved was the lighting in this

14:22

movie, which I think was just sponsored by Daylight.

14:25

A

14:26

single, not even a flashlight. Let's

14:36

back it up. Let's back it up. We have to start

14:38

about

14:39

with the introduction and talk

14:41

about Fender,

14:43

just as one of the greatest

14:46

shittiest bad guys in film

14:50

history. I mean, people, like,

14:53

bad guys aspire to

14:55

be this bad, right? Like you don't

14:57

just cut a guy's head off. You cut

14:59

it off and you walk around

15:01

with it. Yeah, of course.

15:05

I

15:08

love the entire beginning because

15:10

like the runtime of this movie gets

15:12

to its 126. And

15:15

the entire beginning is just slow

15:17

motion. And I'm like, this entire intro

15:19

is slow motion. So you guys could try

15:21

to get to 90 minutes. And

15:24

also in the very beginning, why

15:26

is the bad guy narrating? And then

15:29

it's done. It's never doing

15:31

it again.

15:32

It was very odd. It's

15:35

this movie is disjointed in every

15:38

way. And it's amazing. Well,

15:40

yeah, because because JCVD

15:43

edited the film, like he want,

15:45

I guess it was screening and it wasn't

15:47

going over well. So Albert Pian's

15:50

version is not

15:52

what we're seeing. I mean, we really, somebody

15:54

needs the Blu-ray of this. We need to

15:56

see the director's cut so we

15:58

can compare.

15:59

in the mid 2000s I saw. You

16:02

know, or the or the blue bear

16:04

or the blue ray with the commentary.

16:06

The director's cut like 2010 or something

16:09

like that, I think. Oh, so there's unedited

16:11

portions that were missing. Don't I mean,

16:15

I'm assuming

16:16

to go along with every other J.C.B.D.

16:19

movie we've ever seen, there's

16:20

got to be at least a a nine

16:23

minute explanation of why he

16:25

has that accent but lives in America.

16:28

Yeah, every other movie

16:31

they're like, well, you know, when you were nine,

16:33

you moved here and there's always an

16:35

overblown exposition.

16:44

Dude,

16:44

the best is Alex Daniels character

16:46

is named Marshall Strat.

16:52

I also because

16:54

it's we're never going to go anywhere because the movie

16:57

is so ridiculous. I love

16:59

just right off the bat when

17:02

the unexplained, hardly

17:05

edited flashbacks start happening. His

17:09

J.C.B.D. is wig is better

17:12

than Billy Zanes last week. Oh,

17:17

I was like, what is this ninja gaiden or some

17:19

shit? Like all of a sudden, I like this

17:21

fucking hair. I learned

17:24

till three quarters of the way through

17:26

the movie that he already had a previous

17:29

beef with this guy. And it was super

17:31

deep.

17:32

Oh, what about the fact that he murdered the daughter that

17:34

they what about they introduced the daughter

17:36

at the same time they

17:38

introduced the betrayal. And

17:43

you're like, what the fuck? Why

17:45

didn't we see her more like in flashbacks?

17:50

Because I

17:53

was that just to show what you

17:56

if you didn't think Fender was the shittiest

17:58

ever. Then they're like, oh,

18:01

wait, no, he's going to lower you into

18:03

a well and he's

18:06

going to wrap you with barbed

18:08

wire. And if that's not bad enough, he's

18:11

going to make the girl, the

18:14

sister, hold

18:16

an entire family

18:18

in her hands. And

18:21

then after they implemented her death, he will just

18:23

basically

18:25

rape her until she loves him like Mike

18:27

Tyson. And, you know, I mean, what

18:30

an insane, what

18:33

an insane premise. He's a weird

18:35

bad guy, but

18:36

it's like all the ideas

18:39

to be a bad guy are there. But

18:42

it's just executed so oddly. You're

18:44

like, I want to see more of the bad guy

18:46

do bad stuff. You know,

18:48

what I wanted to see more was him walking

18:50

in the sand.

18:52

I don't know if it was

18:54

a random moment. And I'm sure nobody

18:56

ever. Every single one. Everyone

19:00

was amazing, but I was just watching him walk

19:02

and I'm like, camera's been on him for a while

19:04

showing this weird walk. I

19:10

laughed several times during

19:12

this movie and one of the laughs was

19:15

Fender gets on a boat

19:18

to go to the CDC with the

19:20

cyborg, who is completely unimportant

19:22

to the movie, basically, apparently, as

19:25

the at least that's what the movie tells us. And

19:29

they're on a boat and it looks like it's

19:31

like day and the night and then day and the night. And

19:33

then J.C.V.D. Mortally

19:36

wounds a woman and then she's fine. And

19:38

then they walk a day and a night. And

19:41

then J.C.V.D. is just on

19:43

a beach and he just puts up binoculars

19:45

and he's like, oh, I found them. And you're like, you

19:48

walked from New York to Atlanta

19:50

and you beat them there. Made

19:53

no sense. OK, and

19:55

not to mention walk from New York to there.

19:58

Where is there? where

20:01

are they no no they had to take a boat

20:04

to get to Atlanta so they're outside

20:06

of Atlanta

20:08

you know where there's water where

20:11

are they somewhere Savannah

20:17

or Savannah on the coast or

20:20

no because that's further east

20:22

yeah makes no sense I

20:26

literally wrote that six times where

20:28

are they I just it was like

20:31

I think it was like twice in them three

20:33

times I believe the

20:35

girl got like mortally wounded and was

20:37

fine and

20:38

then twice because after he gets

20:40

after after he gets

20:42

strung up at the end like

20:45

the whole gang leaves and

20:48

then it seems like the next day he gets free

20:50

and then they still beat them to the CDC like

20:54

Jean-Claude Benin is the fastest runner

20:56

in the world apparently because he

20:59

has a hidden

21:02

motorcycle that we don't see

21:05

forget the fast running can

21:07

we talk about the fact that he got shot

21:10

in the arm and

21:12

nothing nothing

21:14

didn't change a thing he didn't

21:16

see the wound nothing he got

21:18

crucified

21:20

where are the holes in his wrist never

21:22

get this movie is

21:25

awesome when he meets the chick

21:27

right in the beginning

21:31

like he spins around and he just throws

21:33

a knife into her chest essentially

21:45

bisected that final fight scene

21:48

of them first

21:54

all

22:00

the lead up where they were like, look, we don't have

22:02

enough running time. So you guys just flex at each

22:04

other for a full minute.

22:08

I was like, I had walked out of the room and I

22:10

thought I hit pause because I came back in

22:12

the room and I'm like, wait, they're still flexing

22:15

at each other. And it wasn't

22:17

on pause. I,

22:21

I did like that. Fender's fighting style

22:23

was mostly

22:25

flexing and yelling. Yeah.

22:27

Oh, yeah. You know, everything is

22:29

in quick,

22:33

quick interruption. Letting you know today's episode is brought

22:35

to you by Indy Merch Store dot com.

22:38

Your one stop shop for all things metal

22:41

music. And who knows? Maybe they even got some movie.

22:43

Do they have movie merch at any more? Merch store dot

22:45

com. If they don't, they should.

22:48

Why not? We could probably get some trauma gear

22:50

on there for them. Oh, yeah. Call

22:52

up Lloyd and the and the trauma crew. Trauma

22:54

crew. What is it? Trauma, trauma. You say trauma,

22:58

trauma, tomato, tomato. Check

23:00

out the new Humanities Last Breath album,

23:03

Ashen, which is coming out on Unique Leader Records,

23:06

August 4th. I played those guys on my

23:08

Patreon show. People loved it. But

23:11

also you'll see they have a ton of restocks,

23:14

bands like Cryptopsy, Carnifex and

23:16

many others. You know, they got that shadow

23:18

of intent. They got that diehard is murder. They

23:20

even got

23:21

Iron Maiden restocks,

23:24

tons of vinyl. We love we love Indy

23:26

merch store dot com. I got to get that Cryptopsy

23:28

none so vile hat. That thing that

23:30

that looks sick. All right. Indymerchstore.com

23:33

promo code just to 10. While I have you, please

23:36

support our other sponsor for today's

23:38

episode. Metal Blade Records dot com.

23:40

They have a great new album coming out June 30th by

23:42

the band Death Ray Vision, who features

23:45

members of Overcast, Kill Switch, Engage and

23:47

new vocalist Keith Bennett, who's actually doing a

23:49

great job. You know, when it's when a band gets a new

23:51

singer, sometimes I give a little skeptical side

23:53

eye. Sometimes you got to be like, oh,

23:56

wait for it, because it's it's singer number

23:58

three, you know, and he had big.

23:59

to fill because I like Jeff and I like Brian,

24:02

but man, this guy's killing it.

24:04

And it sounds great. You can go listen to the

24:06

new single and watch the new video over at metalblade.com

24:09

slash death ray vision. I already

24:11

got my copy pre-ordered and you should

24:13

too. Big thanks to Metal Blade Records and make sure

24:16

you go to Milwaukee Metal Fest Saturday, May

24:18

27th and meet their founder, Brian Slagle,

24:21

and get a copy of his new book. Get it signed

24:23

by the man himself.

24:25

Big thanks to Brian and the whole

24:27

Metal Blade crew. Now back to the show.

24:30

I wish I was like, why didn't I have toys

24:32

like from this movie growing up like

24:34

Fender

24:35

sold like, come on, bro. I'm

24:38

sold. Why didn't they somebody

24:40

look up if there's JCVD

24:43

cyborg toys there. The

24:45

marketing like this was so

24:47

this was so thrown together and you

24:50

could just tell these

24:51

guys were just flying by the seat of their pants

24:55

trying to just make a movie happen.

24:57

And the fact that it made 10 million

24:59

at the box office and just kept ramping up

25:01

JCVD star

25:04

is incredible. But like, imagine

25:06

if they actually tried

25:09

because the premise

25:11

is pretty good. And if you think about like a buddy,

25:13

a buddy sort of journey

25:16

movie, JCVD with

25:18

a fucking cyborg

25:21

has the potential to be hilarious.

25:24

I mean, there could have been more comedy. I mean,

25:27

just imagine the one liners he

25:29

could have done like that. This had no one

25:31

liners. No, it's like, okay,

25:34

they wrote it all in a weekend.

25:37

They didn't have to film it all

25:39

in that. Also,

25:43

how amazing guys, how amazing

25:46

was the claymation? whole

25:48

glee. When she took her

25:50

when she took the back of her head

25:52

off my bone. When

25:55

when Fender walks in and he's like threatening

25:57

her like her eyes.

26:00

And you know, they were like, that looks

26:02

great. Looks

26:09

like a pale brain man. Why

26:11

are you doing this? You

26:14

ever see so the Sophie about

26:17

that's what she looked like almost. No,

26:20

I'll pull up a picture.

26:21

So but yes, obviously, right.

26:25

So like, the cyborg you would think

26:27

would have GPS.

26:29

No, they're just going. Oh, yeah, it does kind

26:31

of look like that.

26:33

Just like a worse version. Yeah,

26:36

they, they definitely were just like, everybody

26:39

just knew how to get to

26:41

Atlanta from New York, like that was

26:43

just common thing in the in

26:46

the desperate hellscape during a plague, which

26:48

again, nobody seems nobody's

26:51

like, all right, on our walk down

26:53

to Atlanta for the afternoon. You

26:56

know, make sure you don't go in near anybody, because they

26:58

might have the plague. They're just,

27:00

once they leave New York, there's like, basically

27:02

no discussion of the plague ever again. Although

27:07

you're over it that one lady is

27:09

just full of the pox, like,

27:11

yeah, right in the beginning. Yeah.

27:13

Or she's like, this lady doesn't

27:15

matter to you. You need to go save that

27:17

girl. I like his attitude in the beginning of the movie, where

27:19

he's just like, you can save her.

27:21

Well, silly girl. Yeah, he's over

27:23

it. The whole time. I

27:26

thought it was wild. When

27:29

she like they they have that like

27:32

that mid mid movie fight

27:34

in that like, you know, abandoned factory

27:37

kind of deal. And

27:40

they go into the abandoned factory. He gets

27:43

he gets everybody away from the cyborg. And then he

27:45

tells the cyborg, come on. And she's like,

27:48

no, no, I'm good. Because

27:50

you're not strong enough to kill him. But we have stuff

27:52

at the CDC that'll kill him. So don't worry,

27:54

you don't have to follow us. I'm like,

27:57

why would you add this in the movie? It makes it seem

27:59

like what Jason, he's doing isn't

28:01

even needed. You

28:04

know what? A lot of things that he does isn't needed,

28:07

but some that I find wait,

28:09

wait, wait, wait, I have to push back.

28:12

So you're trying to tell me doing a

28:14

split above a guy where he can't

28:17

hear him above him and stabbing

28:19

him in the brain was not needed.

28:22

I was like, fuck. Yeah,

28:24

I was cheering at that part. First

28:27

of all, from being a kid. Six feet

28:29

above that dude's head and then he didn't

28:31

jump down. He just kind of he could

28:34

just reach down. I don't even reach.

28:37

I was

28:37

like swinging from a pipe that

28:40

was magically had the physics of a rope.

28:43

It was unbelievable.

28:45

It was incredible. Truly unbelievable. This movie

28:48

proves just how

28:51

bonkers that whole

28:53

Canon Films crew was and and how

28:56

great JCVD

28:58

was not just at like staying

29:01

in shape and taking like the action

29:03

sequences like seriously and and also

29:05

putting his silliness in which at the time was

29:07

his like brand,

29:09

right? It was his

29:11

calling card. But when you

29:13

watch this against any Seagal movie,

29:15

even the bigger budget Seagal movies,

29:18

there's no comparison like JCVD

29:21

embarrasses Seagal Seagal any

29:24

day of the week. When you this is

29:26

early in his career and like

29:28

I wrote down like somewhere in the beginning just

29:31

like when he pops on the screen, he

29:33

hasn't even said anything and you're like, well that guy's a star

29:36

like I don't know who he is, but he is because he just

29:38

like he just looks he's immediately

29:40

charismatic and he just

29:43

looks like a goddamn star and

29:46

it's just it's just not the case with other people

29:49

like there's a reason he's where he is. Yeah,

29:52

I don't even feel like Chuck Norris had

29:54

heat like this like I felt like Chuck's

29:57

time had already passed. They're talking

29:59

about

29:59

J.C. V.D. taking like the Delta

30:02

Force sequel role and he chose this instead.

30:06

This was way better. Like he shouldn't. His

30:10

first four, you really can't fuck

30:12

with you could even say the first five. Right, because

30:14

one of the first five.

30:17

I mean, you got blood sport, this

30:19

kickbox or time cop. And

30:21

what's the other one which we watched? It's

30:24

pretty fucking good. Dude,

30:28

he like. Those are the first four. Jesus,

30:30

I think don't quote me on that. I

30:32

don't have it pulled up. Time

30:37

cop alone destroys

30:39

the whole fucking cigar catalog

30:42

filmography. Oh, yeah. He was

30:44

in a couple of things before he was. He

30:48

was the the main character.

30:51

He was in Woman Between

30:53

Wolf and Dog. Monica,

30:56

none of that shit counts. We don't count

30:58

that. Okay, so his first leading

31:02

role, he played the bad guy and no retreat,

31:04

no surrender in 1986, but then think about 1990

31:07

alone was Lionheart Deathworn.

31:09

Yeah,

31:13

for real. 91, 92.

31:16

This is pre time cop. 99 Cyborg

31:19

and kickboxer.

31:20

Yeah. He was doing two bangers a year for

31:22

well, for those

31:25

two years. And then what? Double impact.

31:28

Not, not the worst movie. Universal

31:31

soldier, last action hero,

31:33

hard target, then time

31:36

cop. That's when time cop was

31:38

the end, right? Because then he did Street Fighter,

31:40

which was whack sudden death. Yo,

31:42

sudden death. I'll watch for this, for this podcast

31:45

in a heartbeat. It's

31:48

sudden death. The hockey one.

31:50

Yes. Yeah. Oh, I'd watch

31:52

that. Yeah. Yeah. They were like, we

31:54

need to stop like with

31:56

the exposition, explaining the accent, let's just

31:58

put them in to hockey.

31:59

then it makes sense, French Canadian, right?

32:04

I just love,

32:06

like they're the only, he's the only guy that needs

32:08

the explanation, every single other one,

32:10

you're just

32:11

like, oh yeah, why is this

32:13

large Austrian man, you know, just somewhere

32:16

in America named Bill, you know, every

32:18

Arnold movie, like they're not like,

32:20

so when did you move here from Austria, Bob? Like

32:22

it just, we just believe it. Like

32:24

just let us believe it, it's fine. So

32:27

Sudden Death definitely seems like a movie

32:29

for the show for sure. Yeah,

32:32

I don't remember, I remember like one joke

32:34

in it, but that's all about

32:36

all I remember. Here it is, right in the first

32:38

line of the plot description, Darren McCord

32:41

is a French Canadian born firefighter. French

32:43

Canadian. The first Canadian

32:45

born fire, bam. There it is.

32:48

So how I

32:51

felt that the flashbacks were

32:53

like PTSD level

32:55

flashbacks, there was no explanation.

32:58

All of a sudden it would just be in the middle

33:00

of a scene

33:01

and then we're just somewhere else. You ever

33:03

see, you were not. No music, no

33:06

fade, no nothing. You

33:08

ever see you were never really here?

33:11

No. So

33:14

Joaquin Phoenix plays like a wacko

33:17

serial. Oh, no, no, I know that, yeah, yeah,

33:19

yeah. Like that's what it reminded me of, those

33:21

flashbacks. The flashback scenes in

33:23

that movie, I was like, this is fucking out of context

33:27

for everything else. I wrote, I

33:29

think three times, like I was like,

33:32

wait, I thought that girl had a Southern

33:34

accent because I was just, all of

33:36

a sudden there's a kid there with a woman

33:38

with a Southern accent and then he stabs

33:40

a woman and then the next

33:43

minute there's no kid and there's no Southern

33:45

accent. And I'm like, what the fuck happened to that kid? We

33:48

stick the accent out of her. And then they're in a farm

33:50

and she has an accent. And I'm like,

33:53

and then I go, oh, it's another person. And

33:58

when he just like, when he just like, shoo.

35:59

one line he was Australian. I

36:03

did not. Right

36:05

before they got on the boat, he

36:07

just was Australian. He's all right, mates.

36:10

And you're like, and then it just

36:12

went away. I was like, he we coming out. I see.

36:20

Where is it? Oh, I wrote it down. Somebody

36:23

said something about going to

36:26

Atlanta and he just goes, you

36:28

think I'm going to swim to Atlanta?

36:30

Asshole. I hate the water.

36:35

Why is that in the movie?

36:38

And see, I even wrote down like, is this foreshadowing?

36:41

Because this sure seems like foreshadowing. No,

36:43

it wasn't. It wasn't. It's like Indiana

36:46

Jones and I hate snakes. I go back

36:48

to water and they're going to hide in water.

36:50

No, no. Maybe it's an inside joke

36:52

for the surfing guy. I don't know.

36:55

No, I think it was they were going to reveal

36:57

that he was a cyborg, but then they didn't have

36:59

it in the budget

37:02

or something. Because I thought they were going to

37:04

do that with JCVD. Like when he got shot,

37:06

like, oh, maybe they'll reveal at the end that

37:09

he's a hybrid.

37:10

Now he's just he's

37:13

just fine. In

37:17

Universal Soldier, am I mistaken that the

37:19

cyborgs in Universal Soldier have

37:22

pale blue eyes? Is that

37:24

a thing? Or is that from another like, I

37:27

don't know. No, no,

37:30

I think they were probably just on sale at 1-800 contacts. Wow.

37:35

I see a lot of movies, dude.

37:39

But that's that's one of the reasons why I thought

37:41

it was that I was just like, we got like superhuman

37:43

dude. They never explained why he has like

37:46

obvious vampire contacts. And right, it's

37:49

just like, oh, no, those are his real eyes. Yeah.

37:51

Yeah. Of course, they are. They were

37:53

just like, okay,

37:54

we're going to use this as many times

37:56

as we can. Welcome to the

37:58

camera and slow.

37:59

take your thing because we can't do it once

38:02

because we need the runtime so

38:04

take your glasses off at least 71 times.

38:08

Yeah because later on in the movie

38:11

they'll have forgotten that your eyes are purple.

38:16

I loved when they

38:18

showed that entire scene when Jean-Claude

38:20

Van Damme and the Southern Woman they're like they

38:22

allude to like sex

38:24

and then they're like sleeping all

38:28

the pirates are just like leaning on a

38:30

window watching watching them sleep.

38:33

Yeah what yeah totally watching them sleep

38:36

also right around the time of like

38:39

sleep or I can't remember if it was that scene

38:41

or one before

38:43

a wolf howled. Oh

38:45

I didn't even hear that. Yes there

38:47

was a wolf howl and I'm like are

38:50

there wolves close

38:52

to it? Charles

38:55

in South Carolina.

38:58

So confused. What

39:00

I don't get is what I'm surprised is that Cyborg

39:04

rarely makes

39:06

the people's

39:08

like top lists for

39:11

for JCVD movies and

39:14

I was surprised because I thought for

39:16

sure we've watched

39:19

um Death Warrant for

39:22

this podcast but that's like that

39:24

one is high up didn't did

39:26

we or did we not watch Death Warrant? Which one's

39:29

Death Warrant? I don't know if we have.

39:32

That's the one where he goes undercover

39:35

on assignment in a prison to

39:37

investigate uh like these murderers

39:41

and he discovered dude it's see

39:43

he predicts the future with a lot of his movies

39:46

because that ended up becoming a thing like where we

39:48

started hearing about

39:50

people getting killed for their organs like

39:52

the black market organ trade. Yeah

39:58

that's what that movie's about from 1990. And

40:01

this is about a plague that

40:03

well, I

40:06

wouldn't say it's John. John

40:08

Clovin Dam is a suit. Say,

40:11

yeah, no, no,

40:13

Stricklod Damas. I'm

40:16

not sure. I'm sure. No,

40:20

Stricklod Damas. I

40:24

feel like he would have he would have not taken

40:26

Street Fighter if he was able to see

40:28

the future. Probably

40:31

right. But if you were if you were going to go top

40:33

five,

40:35

double impacts got to be in the top

40:37

five. No, like I I

40:39

put Cyborg. No, you know what? I'm

40:42

going to put this Cyborg at four, double impact

40:44

at five. But then three, I would say

40:46

is

40:47

kickbox or two is

40:49

Lionheart and one is Bloodsport.

40:53

That's just me. You could probably

40:55

convince me to put double

40:57

impact in there or you could convince me to put. Time is

41:00

always number one for me. Are you forgetting

41:02

the impact of Dennis Rodman? Oh,

41:06

my God. The Dennis Rodman movie. What

41:09

movie is that? That's not hard target. No,

41:12

no, they watch target.

41:14

No, double. Yeah, there you go. I

41:16

was thinking. That's it. Oh,

41:19

my God. Is that our next one? Are

41:21

we going to have to watch double? Man, I

41:24

want I want to watch you disappear for a sec, Howard.

41:28

But Jossa suggested Sudden

41:31

Death, which which

41:32

was which was a fine movie. So

41:35

the whole team I would be pumped

41:37

for. I know I would be angry

41:40

about 20 minutes in. Jamie

41:42

would come in like fuck this. We're never

41:44

doing this.

41:49

You

41:51

know, I think I got to change my I think Timecop

41:53

would be my number four and this would be my number five.

41:56

And it's hard because then I'd have to move.

43:53

So

44:00

in that last fight scene in the movie when

44:02

he like shows up 100%

44:05

refreshed after being punch drunk for the last

44:07

hour and 20 minutes. Why

44:10

does he bite his knife? He

44:14

bites it then he stops then he goes back and

44:16

bites it again. It's so crazy

44:18

to me. At

44:20

first I thought he was gonna lick the blade but then

44:23

I was like he hasn't killed anybody with it yet.

44:25

And then he just did

44:26

it.

44:27

And there's also a plague you probably shouldn't be doing

44:29

that. Also

44:32

you were just crucified. How

44:35

are you doing this? And

44:38

when he was done being crucified

44:40

I

44:41

was hoping he was just gonna spin

44:43

kick the cross on the ground or whatever it was a mass.

44:47

He kicked himself off

44:48

the cross. He

44:51

had arrows in his

44:54

wrist. They healed this

44:56

man.

45:02

He seriously yeah he defies

45:04

all logic in this movie and I. That's

45:08

just he really is.

45:09

He really is. And if you it doesn't

45:11

matter how many bills you have to pay it doesn't

45:14

matter if someone

45:17

you love is in the hospital or you

45:19

just fucking got fired

45:21

from a job or your favorite

45:24

band broke up if you can watch

45:26

Jean-Claude Van Dam kick

45:29

people in the face there's something

45:32

or rather pretend to kick people in

45:34

the face there's something so

45:37

satisfying. He's

45:40

notoriously known for kicking

45:42

people in the face on set. Yeah he

45:44

combed it out.

45:45

I guess he wasn't he wasn't good at pulling his punches

45:47

so he was kicking a lot of people in the faces. He's

45:50

like what do you mean? competitively fucking

45:52

karate fighting right now. I

45:56

told one of my friends that I was

45:59

watching this movie.

45:59

it yesterday and I was like this fucking movie is

46:02

insane. He's like I don't even know if I've ever seen it and

46:05

then at like nine o'clock at night he just texts

46:07

me so I'm 20 minutes away from finishing

46:10

Cyborg and I'm like why didn't you watch it

46:12

and he goes I'll be honest with you I saw Avatar 2

46:14

yesterday this is infinitely better because

46:17

this story makes more sense than Avatar 2

46:22

and I was like oh man

46:25

I mean listen if a guy lowers you

46:27

your girl and your kid into

46:30

a fucking well for reasons unknown

46:32

and then steals your daughter with

46:34

a brush grape her

46:37

with barbed wire no less

46:40

and then doesn't recognize you

46:42

at all for

46:45

the entire the entirety

46:47

of your dealings with him after you see him again

46:50

until he looks at the woman

46:52

who he stole's necklace and

46:54

he's like yeah

46:57

yeah not

47:01

only that but he looks like he hasn't

47:03

aged a day yeah also

47:06

yes fender

47:08

autistic because

47:11

weird noises and everything's

47:13

just grunts walks

47:16

around like they were trying to say

47:18

that he had some sort of part

47:20

of the plague or something that's what like

47:22

I feel like they were trying to say something but

47:24

they just

47:26

were just like yeah we don't have time to film it fuck it

47:28

did you notice that all the bad guys they

47:31

all had the yellow teeth all their teeth were

47:33

rotten or nasty that's how you knew

47:35

they were the bad guys however did

47:37

you notice the continuity

47:40

with their when in the flashbacks the

47:42

the the main bad guy's teeth were

47:45

only slightly fucked up whereas I didn't

47:48

catch them like rotting out of his head

47:51

I

47:51

was like there's no way they did this but I

47:53

was like how did they get that much detail

47:55

for this one little thing and then

47:58

just the rest of the movie I

48:05

will say I love that the

48:08

majority of the movie just looked like a heavy

48:10

metal video. Like during

48:12

the end battle, all of a sudden the camera

48:14

just panned

48:16

and like Megadeth was plugging in and

48:18

like, you know, and you'd be like, Oh, that makes sense. Like

48:20

they're going to, they're going to be

48:22

using this set later. Well,

48:25

he was, he was definitely doing

48:27

the splits up on the top of the ceiling, waiting

48:30

to kill 1984 D Snyder.

48:34

That's so funny. That's

48:37

Conan in the

48:40

TV series, I believe. Yeah.

48:42

Ralph Molar and they, they had to double all

48:44

his lines because his German

48:47

accent was too thick. Everybody

48:49

was dubbed. Oh yeah.

48:51

They didn't bring a microphone to that fucking

48:53

set. Like Terry, Terry

48:55

Batson, uh, rerecorded

48:59

all of her lines in the movie without altering

49:01

it. She, so she was, I

49:03

think the only thing they brought to a set was a fucking

49:06

Casio keyboard for that ripping soundtrack.

49:09

Oh my gosh. That was rough.

49:12

That was rough. That was the only thing I didn't understand.

49:14

I'm like, this sounds like a, it sounds like a made

49:16

for TV, like cautionary tale about

49:18

drugs. Like why is this the worst soundtrack

49:20

I've ever heard in my life? Like, I don't understand. I think they

49:22

were trying to make it sound like

49:25

the first Terminator soundtrack with the creepy,

49:28

like the creepy, simple, like, you know, keyboard,

49:30

but it sounded more like a knockoff

49:33

Super Mario Brothers. Dude,

49:36

you know, Camara used, uh,

49:39

Fender talking about death and starvation.

49:43

Yeah. In the beginning, like they use that before

49:45

their song, uh, resurrection. Let's

49:48

see. I saw, I saw somebody else used that

49:51

too. Man, hold on. I'm going to look that up,

49:53

but I'm pretty sure. I think there was another, there was like a death metal

49:55

band or something

49:57

prior to it too. Cause I saw there was like multiple

49:59

uses of.

49:59

that intro speech. All

50:02

I know is that we need Albert

50:04

Pian's prequel,

50:07

Rise of the Slingers. We need that.

50:12

It's just going to start out as like a gang of people

50:15

beating up crackheads and then just time

50:17

lapse to the. I did love like right

50:20

in the beginning,

50:21

Marshall Stratt says,

50:24

quick, find a slinger. And they

50:26

just like and then he gets killed. And then

50:29

the next time you see like the cyborg.

50:32

Oh, my God. Did I really just catch

50:34

guitar slinger? Is that what that

50:36

is? Yes. It's

50:39

a slinger.

50:41

Oh, I got

50:43

to say, rest in peace, Albert Pian,

50:46

because he he died last year, unfortunately,

50:48

so we're not getting the prequel and we're not

50:51

getting cyborg nemesis,

50:53

the dark rift, although there was two

50:57

subsequent films, right? Cyborg to

51:00

with Angelina Jolie and the lead character's name

51:02

was Cult 45. No, stop it.

51:04

Yes, that's what I saw.

51:06

Unbelievable. Hey, everybody. Just a quick interruption.

51:09

Letting you know, today's episode is brought to you by Century

51:12

Media. Store, a great

51:14

site to go to if you like it

51:17

hard. They got the new on Earth,

51:19

which is just crushing. I've been listening

51:22

to it on repeat, dude.

51:24

Do they're on Earth? On Earth might be

51:26

the comeback of the year,

51:28

especially closing out the

51:30

Sunday side stage at

51:32

Milwaukee Menopest, no barricade.

51:34

It's wild, dude. It's going to be bonkers.

51:37

I can't wait. And also you can preorder

51:39

the new Jesus piece. You can also you know,

51:41

I love based or beast or however you

51:44

say it. We played with them with those guys in

51:47

in Denmark. And then also demolition

51:50

hammers got re issues, tortured

51:52

existence and epidemic of violence.

51:54

Classic

51:55

Century Media right there. Putting

51:58

out that those classic.

53:55

when

54:00

they were in their head and

54:08

that

54:18

I

55:52

But

56:00

why don't you hop along with me? We'll

56:02

go to Atlanta.

56:04

Like they had no connection. There was no reason for

56:06

him and and Navy

56:09

to go to Atlanta. Well, I did.

56:11

I did think like what would have happened if they cast

56:14

somebody else? Like if they cast

56:16

Ray Liotta in in

56:19

J.C. V.D.'s part, it

56:22

would be a totally different film. He'd be like,

56:24

yo, R.T. R2D2, let's go. We're

56:26

going to fucking Atlanta. You

56:29

know, and it would have been there would have been all those

56:31

things like that they could have used,

56:33

you know, like, oh,

56:34

my God, this broad, she drones

56:36

on and on and like like

56:38

I had a whole script written for another

56:41

actor. I will say I would have loved to actually

56:43

see

56:45

how Chuck Norris would have done this

56:47

movie because he was the first one to be cast that

56:49

they wanted him for it

56:51

and. Would

56:53

it have just been like him just being all

56:55

stiff and like he normally is, or would it have been?

56:57

Yes, for sure. I don't know,

57:00

like.

57:01

Did you see his movies

57:03

from the 70s and 80s? You

57:07

know, it's rough. I can tell you the fights

57:09

would have been a little better. Some

57:13

about Chuck Norris is like

57:15

he was like a karate. You

57:17

know, his body was beaten up from doing

57:19

like competitive karate. Yeah, he was a movie

57:21

star. So he was already kind of like an old man when

57:23

he started doing. He already has CTE. How's

57:26

it like? I don't remember lines.

57:28

Yeah. Did

57:31

you guys notice how silly a lot

57:34

of the guns are?

57:36

Not all the gun. Yes, Rupal

57:38

Beryl. The guy who's Beryl was

57:40

amazing. Like

57:42

I said, he got shot in the arm with

57:45

it. You see blood, no

57:47

wound. And he's picked

57:49

up and carried a woman. It

57:52

looked like he

57:54

got hit with a BB. Like it was like

57:57

it was it was also funny because she

57:59

gets. injured again. We don't know how

58:01

she was injured. And I feel like there was

58:03

this long talk on the set like, well, we

58:06

already stabbed her in the chest. And that was

58:08

yesterday in the story of the

58:10

movie. So let's not, we'll just not

58:13

show she'll just be unconscious. We let's not

58:15

explain this. But you're like,

58:17

like, she, she was, if she

58:19

was just unconscious in that scene, she was

58:21

hit extremely hard.

58:24

And then they go to salt

58:26

marshes and then she disappears again.

58:28

Where

58:30

the fuck does she keep going?

58:33

Remember, didn't they show her like,

58:36

in that like, in

58:38

the bottom of a boat naked and there

58:40

was like a black dude next to her? No,

58:43

that was that was that was cyborg and

58:45

some other woman.

58:46

It was just rant. And that I'm so

58:48

confused. That was the best

58:51

because it was nighttime. And it was it

58:53

was it was Fender and the cyborg

58:55

and he was, you know, Fender was saying something

58:58

and it was like,

58:59

overdubbed very poorly. So it was very muffled.

59:02

And then literally, no fade,

59:05

no cut, no music. All

59:07

of a sudden, that entire crew

59:09

Fender is in in that factory.

59:11

And he just like looks out the window and

59:15

fucking Jean-Claude Van Damme is walking

59:17

up and he's like,

59:18

who's that? Check it out. What

59:21

the fuck? You guys took

59:23

a boat here. How did

59:25

they beat you here?

59:29

And how do you not remember the man

59:31

who literally

59:33

stole his daughter that you

59:36

believe him to be your daughter? Like he

59:38

doesn't know. His eyes are that

59:40

light because he's actually blind. Yeah.

59:44

Maybe that guy has face blindness and he

59:46

has no memory of this man. And then he

59:48

saw that necklace and he's like,

59:49

wait a second. Whole

59:52

world is that the guy?

59:55

A second. All right. And also

59:57

just his pattern of speech.

1:00:00

It's like, are you talking in another movie?

1:00:03

Why are you talking like that? I

1:00:05

feel like for some reason, they didn't want him to

1:00:07

have an Australian accent. And you're like, well,

1:00:09

JCVD has an accent. So just, if

1:00:12

it was just all accents,

1:00:14

you get, it just would have worked. It would be fine.

1:00:16

Only one interesting voice, a movie. Yep.

1:00:19

Her JCVD is contract. Yep.

1:00:23

I don't lose fights and I don't

1:00:25

do competing accents. No. I

1:00:28

know. So Jason Rarry asks, why

1:00:31

have we never seen John Claude Van Damme

1:00:33

and Rob Van Damme together in a martial arts

1:00:35

movie?

1:00:36

And I think if I'm not mistaken,

1:00:39

John Claude Van Damme is not a fan

1:00:42

of Rob Van Damme. Oh, really?

1:00:44

Using the name. I think that

1:00:47

was a thing back in the day. I'm gonna look that up. Yeah.

1:00:49

I'm just not making sure. I think you're right. I can see that.

1:00:52

But I remember that being a thing when I was like a kid.

1:00:55

Yeah, he didn't like it because they look similar and he's

1:00:57

bigger. Like Rob Van Damme is bigger. They

1:00:59

look more of a badass. Yeah.

1:01:02

And also let's

1:01:04

be honest. He had, JCVD

1:01:07

had an ego. So I could totally imagine

1:01:10

that he thinks that his pretend

1:01:12

fighting is

1:01:13

different. Yes. Is better

1:01:16

than RVD's pretend fighting.

1:01:18

Even though RVD's actually doing it

1:01:21

all. Yeah. And JCVD

1:01:23

is doing that kick like 17 times to

1:01:26

get one good one.

1:01:27

And checking somebody

1:01:29

in the face while doing it. And then

1:01:32

partially blinding them. As

1:01:35

far as post-apocalyptic movies

1:01:37

go,

1:01:39

this is not in the Mount Rushmore.

1:01:41

No. But I'll give

1:01:43

it honorable mention. It

1:01:47

doesn't look like- Come on. Christ,

1:01:50

look at that. Come on. They

1:01:52

are so close. They are so close.

1:01:55

That's amazing.

1:01:58

How could you not believe- that

1:02:00

they're related. They

1:02:02

really should have capitalized on that. I mean, seriously,

1:02:05

if I heard that JCVD was coming

1:02:08

out at fucking WrestleMania

1:02:10

with Jean-Claude Van Damme, in

1:02:13

pay-per-view, I call it

1:02:15

direct TV and buy in the pay-per-view. Jean

1:02:17

Van Damme. I love

1:02:19

it. I

1:02:22

love it. Although, if I

1:02:24

could understand how Jean-Claude Van Damme would be

1:02:26

intimidated,

1:02:27

Rob Van Damme was, I mean, before he

1:02:29

got old, was like

1:02:33

a wild specimen of being like

1:02:36

athleticism. That dude was like- Oh, he was an athletic

1:02:38

god. It was insane. Oh,

1:02:40

dude. ECW. Wild.

1:02:43

Yeah.

1:02:44

Yeah, I used to go to all the- Him and ECW just,

1:02:48

I sent you guys that clip the other night. He's

1:02:50

in that- Yeah. He's in that- Yeah.

1:02:54

Yeah, he was like the first guy that WWE

1:02:56

poached. They were just like, well, we need this motherfucker.

1:02:58

Oh, yeah. Tell Paul

1:03:01

Heyman to go fuck himself because this guy's great. And

1:03:07

he's cool. Oh,

1:03:10

really? Yeah, RVD is

1:03:13

mad cool. He'll

1:03:15

smoke you out. He'll talk

1:03:17

to fans at the hotel. He'll

1:03:20

go and talk to all the fans outside the hotel.

1:03:23

He's just a badass cool dude. I

1:03:26

think they took the championship away

1:03:28

from him because he popped for weed.

1:03:30

Yeah, I think so. That was the dumbest

1:03:33

fucking- But

1:03:36

it's only made his legend grow stronger,

1:03:38

right? It's only made his brand- RVD

1:03:42

over JCVD. I

1:03:45

might have to agree with you on that. RVD

1:03:47

didn't make time cop, okay? I was going

1:03:49

to settle down. RVD wasn't

1:03:51

a Steven Seagal movie though.

1:03:54

Oh, yeah, he was. He is.

1:03:56

How do I not know that? Yeah, it's a bad

1:03:59

one. Well, I mean- You know, later, later

1:04:01

era. Yeah,

1:04:03

I can't remember what the name of it is, but he's a. Or

1:04:06

special ops. That's it. Oh,

1:04:09

and that it's you can't I watched. I was

1:04:11

texting you guys about that. I watched like 15

1:04:13

minutes of that.

1:04:15

Seagal's not even holding

1:04:17

the gun right. It's the he makes zero

1:04:19

effort. He's like, no, he

1:04:22

it's so crazy. He's just shooting wild.

1:04:24

He's like talking and just. Yeah. Yeah. It's

1:04:27

wild. It's so bad. It's

1:04:30

so bad.

1:04:31

All right. On a scale of one

1:04:33

to 10, 10 being the most awesome. What

1:04:35

do you give? I'm sorry, board. I

1:04:38

need to look at that. Look at

1:04:40

that. Holy shit. Like, first

1:04:42

of all, that is a Photoshop compilation.

1:04:45

100. Oh, yeah. That is definitely somebody

1:04:47

else's body. That's not even his nose

1:04:49

on his face. It's a different nose.

1:04:53

Look, that is. That

1:04:55

is not. Can

1:04:58

we know what? Let's let's let's talk about

1:05:00

this.

1:05:01

What why why is it

1:05:04

that the canceled actors or

1:05:06

the actors that supposedly can't get

1:05:08

work

1:05:10

because of whatever the the

1:05:12

whatever Hollywood's up to? J.C.B.D. couldn't

1:05:14

get work for I'm sorry. Stephen Seagal

1:05:16

couldn't get work for a lot longer than he started

1:05:19

hanging out with. OK,

1:05:21

no, no, I know. But why is

1:05:23

it that

1:05:24

they're not just going

1:05:27

and doing movies with

1:05:30

Seagal and with

1:05:32

a couple of these guys? Like, why aren't

1:05:34

we seeing more of these films

1:05:37

getting made in Bulgaria and Hungary? Because

1:05:39

they're making more money

1:05:41

going on. Other TV show is saying I

1:05:43

got canceled.

1:05:45

Yeah. And you're like, no, Chachi, you're

1:05:47

just shitty. Nobody,

1:05:50

nobody like you after Charles in Charge.

1:05:52

It has nothing to do with your fucking politics,

1:05:55

you weirdo. Nowhere

1:05:59

in the world.

1:05:59

that has like competent

1:06:02

movie studios outside of really

1:06:06

America. Like if

1:06:08

you try to make a big budget explosion flick.

1:06:10

Looking at RRR and can't

1:06:13

you say you could go to India and make some?

1:06:15

Well, no, because look at

1:06:17

the monsters. He did that on set in Hungary

1:06:20

and

1:06:21

really made the he got bang for

1:06:23

his buck with all the set design and all the looks,

1:06:26

but also that expendables. The

1:06:28

last one I think that was was

1:06:30

JCVD and a couple.

1:06:33

I think Arnold was in that one. They

1:06:36

did a lot of that on set in Bulgaria.

1:06:38

And my thinking is if you actually

1:06:41

got a somewhat decent director, like

1:06:43

if there's if all these directors are canceled

1:06:45

or can't get movies anymore, like like,

1:06:47

oh, the ball.

1:06:50

To me, if if

1:06:52

you were to go and get

1:06:54

one of these guys, like who's a guy, who's the guy

1:06:56

that they took? Who's the comedian? They took him out of the

1:06:58

movie with with Batista and they

1:07:01

put the girl in. They put

1:07:03

the

1:07:05

they replaced the guy comedian with.

1:07:09

It was a zombie movie on Netflix. He

1:07:11

was like he was like 16 year old. Yeah.

1:07:15

Delia. They took

1:07:18

him out. Now,

1:07:20

I'm not saying Army of the Dead. It wasn't

1:07:22

bad, actually. I mean, it was bad,

1:07:24

but it wasn't like. It

1:07:27

wasn't like awful. It was just

1:07:29

bad.

1:07:31

But don't you think like Delia, if he

1:07:33

went to Bulgaria, if you put people

1:07:36

who are actually canceled but had talent

1:07:38

around Seagal,

1:07:42

just the story alone, just the

1:07:44

reactions on YouTube alone would

1:07:46

get the movie rented

1:07:49

so many fucking times.

1:07:52

Like why is it someone capitalizing

1:07:54

on this? Like get OJ.

1:07:57

OJ, remember, he could act. He.

1:07:59

was in he was a kid gun. Why

1:08:04

isn't someone booking OJ? Oh,

1:08:07

Lee Seagal shoot

1:08:10

it in fucking Bulgaria. YouTube

1:08:13

community would fucking go

1:08:16

bazooka. The

1:08:18

I mean, that could be an offshoot of

1:08:21

the expendables some way, shape

1:08:23

or form. I mean, it could make hundreds

1:08:25

of dollars. Yeah,

1:08:28

you get right because wasn't James Woods complaining

1:08:31

he can't get work. Kevin Sorbo,

1:08:33

you get Hercules up in this. You get fucking

1:08:35

you get Rob Schneider as the fucking

1:08:38

as the comic relief. You

1:08:40

get the corona's the love interest.

1:08:42

I'm I'm called Ben Shapiro right

1:08:45

now. We're going to pitch this dude. You

1:08:47

got to pitch this.

1:08:48

You got to pitch this. No, what about

1:08:50

what's the space? You could get

1:08:52

you could get what's his face? Character,

1:08:55

he can actually act. Kevin

1:08:58

Spacey. Now, you don't want any

1:09:01

dudes, you know, 18 to 25 around,

1:09:04

you know, getting grow. I feel like there are

1:09:06

any young boys on the set. I feel like we

1:09:08

turned a corner on Kevin Spacey where

1:09:10

it was like

1:09:12

now he's just extra like he's leaned

1:09:15

into being the fucking weirdest person

1:09:17

I've ever seen. Well, so

1:09:20

hard out of all the canceled you guys

1:09:23

like you could you could still watch Kevin

1:09:25

Spacey movies because he always just plays

1:09:27

a dick. So you're like, well, I guess. All

1:09:29

right. You're going to try to tell me. You're

1:09:31

going to try to tell me

1:09:33

it's 10 p.m. You've

1:09:35

turned on Amazon Prime and

1:09:38

like the worst title pops

1:09:40

up like fucking. I

1:09:46

don't know. I was trying to think of a bad action

1:09:48

movie plot. Five. Damage

1:09:55

effect and it's starring. You're

1:09:58

like, what is this? It's like.

1:11:57

Solid

1:12:01

seven. All right, Howard. This

1:12:04

gets an eight for me. I loved hating

1:12:06

this. I'm

1:12:10

going to give it a nine. I fully

1:12:12

back Jean Claude

1:12:15

as an action sci fi

1:12:17

star. It's not his fault.

1:12:19

These guys used the shit from

1:12:22

the other sets and fucking didn't have a really

1:12:24

cohesive script and had illogical

1:12:26

plot points all throughout. As long as

1:12:28

he's stabbing people in the head, doing the splits,

1:12:31

doing spin kicks, getting crucified, saving

1:12:34

himself from his own

1:12:36

crucifixion on a mast of a boat.

1:12:38

What was it even on like? That's

1:12:42

so awesome. Yeah, he's already Jesus.

1:12:46

He got stronger as the day

1:12:48

went on. Yeah,

1:12:51

the night. Oh, yeah, you slept on a cross. How's

1:12:54

your sleep? It's in arrest.

1:12:56

It's going to be a back.

1:12:57

He woke up refreshed. It's

1:13:03

like you've got arrows in your wrist. How

1:13:05

do you win? How do you win?

1:13:11

I mentioned this just briefly earlier,

1:13:13

but like

1:13:14

his chin is so

1:13:16

suspect in the beginning of every movie

1:13:19

he's in. Like he gets hit once or twice and

1:13:21

he is just drunk for

1:13:23

the whole movie. And

1:13:26

then the last 10 minutes, he's just like, bam,

1:13:28

smelling salts. Like

1:13:32

I

1:13:32

feel like I

1:13:34

feel like the beats just need to change tempo

1:13:36

a little bit, you know, moving forward.

1:13:39

John Claude Van Damme. Oh, he's

1:13:41

my no wait to see sudden death.

1:13:44

We got to do. Are we doing sudden death next? Are

1:13:46

we doing are we doing the prison

1:13:48

one death warrant? I think we

1:13:50

got death warrant, dude. So

1:13:53

we did. Lionheart. I'm

1:13:56

lying. He's sudden death. All

1:13:59

right. Back on the JCVD

1:14:01

kick and I'm so thankful That

1:14:05

I'm not like it's a gall movies

1:14:07

and I'm not watching Fucking a

1:14:09

to four. I'm sorry. So galls

1:14:11

catalog shits on the entire a to

1:14:13

four film You didn't want a lot

1:14:16

goat man steals a baby

1:14:19

Lamb

1:14:23

All right, let's go to the chat and thanks everybody from

1:14:26

yeah Jason Rarry says

1:14:28

skin of a rink y'all be so confused and

1:14:30

angry about the I know seriously loved it and

1:14:34

I was like, okay I'm

1:14:40

like, what was he thinking

1:14:43

the trailer made me want to watch it so

1:14:45

bad. I was like this looks creepy as hell I

1:14:48

love this shit. I want to be scared of my own

1:14:50

house And then I watched

1:14:52

it and I was like, I don't fucking get

1:14:55

it.

1:14:55

I mean I got it It was just not fun. Oh

1:14:59

There's no there's no there's no punching or

1:15:01

splits and that and I don't know not

1:15:03

one split Yes

1:15:07

watch the most American French

1:15:10

something man in the world first.

1:15:13

It's for a sudden death. I think that's what we should

1:15:15

do Listen everybody

1:15:17

call whoever you know who know like

1:15:20

like you got a Howard you got to bring

1:15:22

something to the table With this with this

1:15:24

you got to call Jericho and you guys say hey, I

1:15:26

need our VDS number We're gonna

1:15:29

watch sudden death with our VD

1:15:32

Somebody's got to pull

1:15:34

a favor like you know Tommy dreamer Brian

1:15:37

call Tommy be like, how do I get our

1:15:39

I will Separation

1:15:42

between us between our VD and us

1:15:45

there's literally one degree. Yeah

1:15:48

I have two or three names too. I think I could hit up Yeah,

1:15:51

somebody's got to get our VD to watch sudden

1:15:53

death and come on the podcast high as hell

1:15:55

for no watch it high as hell I don't know

1:15:57

if he doesn't come on weed anymore

1:16:00

Oh, yeah, if army real or what's even real

1:16:02

in this world?

1:16:08

Jesus Holy

1:16:11

crap hate number 14

1:16:13

death warrant. We definitely watched it. Oh,

1:16:16

there you go. No, okay 16 episodes

1:16:19

ago. Oh, yeah more than Wait,

1:16:23

so then what's the other one? Oh

1:16:25

wait, it's it's uh, it's

1:16:34

They're all the same movie they just

1:16:36

take place in a slightly different warehouse pretty

1:16:39

much

1:16:40

Pretty much have to watch either maximum

1:16:44

risk Nowhere

1:16:47

to run or the one

1:16:49

with Rodman

1:16:51

Did we have our target by the way? Oh

1:16:54

target Hold

1:16:56

on. I'm reading I'm reading

1:16:58

this for sudden death If former

1:17:01

firemen takes on a group of terrorists

1:17:03

holding the vice president and others

1:17:05

hostage During the seventh game

1:17:08

of the NHL Stanley Cup finals.

1:17:10

Yeah. Yeah, it's die

1:17:12

hard. It's like a weird diehard I die

1:17:14

hard in the New Haven Coliseum All

1:17:22

right,

1:17:25

thank

1:17:28

you guys we'll be back with another

1:17:31

episode next week we'll do a sudden death of JCVD

1:17:33

Thanks everybody from patreon and

1:17:37

Yeah, have a great night Well,

1:17:40

I guess we're watching the trailer from sudden death before

1:17:42

we go so We

1:17:44

don't have to I Mean

1:17:50

no spoilers, but you know a Zamboni

1:17:53

was used to kill

1:18:00

Power's boo! Of course they had a... Yeah.

1:18:03

But we gotta hear that song. It doesn't look too good. 9-1-1,

1:18:05

emergency services. I'm calling you from the shittakerina. And

1:18:08

I've got my daughter too. What is your objective? One billion,

1:18:10

seven hundred million dollars. We're still evaluating the situation. Fuck,

1:18:12

I have a

1:18:12

number of them. Give it to him. Do not

1:18:14

try any good. I'm not trying to get him to the hospital. I'm not trying to get him to

1:18:16

the hospital. I'm not trying to get him to the hospital. I'm not trying to get him to the

1:18:18

hospital. I'm not trying to get him to the hospital. I'm not trying to get him to the

1:18:20

hospital. What is your objective?

1:18:23

One billion, seven hundred million dollars. We're

1:18:25

still evaluating the situation. Fuck, I have a number of them. Give

1:18:27

it to him. Do not try any kind of rescue.

1:18:30

Do you understand? How much money? If

1:18:32

you're not gonna pass this, I'll get money. One billion, seven hundred million. What?

1:18:35

Do I know how to get money? That's oddly large

1:18:37

and specific. Two

1:18:39

and eight. 17,000 hundred dollars. There's a clubby

1:18:41

out there. He's

1:18:42

got a payout. He's got a payoff. Too many free CDs. Too

1:18:45

many free CDs. What a lot of money. Too

1:18:47

many free CDs. But only one of them knows

1:18:49

it. I'm gonna try to

1:18:51

stop you. I know where the bombs are,

1:18:53

so I know where you're going. Then come and kick me.

1:18:59

He's running the mascot! Oh my

1:19:01

gosh.

1:19:02

Than

1:19:05

anyone. I said... Oh, so you

1:19:07

got to save a daughter? Sean Claude is Puck Ibanez.

1:19:13

Sean Claude's under him.

1:19:20

Stop it.

1:19:22

Well, we just saw it. That's

1:19:28

the whole movie right there. The

1:19:31

scoreboard said sudden

1:19:33

death on it. Oh my god. I

1:19:36

can't wait. That legit has

1:19:38

me pumped right now. Yeah. I

1:19:42

might watch it tonight.

1:19:45

I might force my smell to watch it right now.

1:19:54

Come on baby, let's watch a movie. No

1:19:57

more blue, you were watching. you're

1:20:00

watching sudden death now.

1:20:07

Alright guys. It's it's it's

1:20:11

a date. Alright. week sunset

1:20:15

and death. Everybody do what you can do. Call

1:20:17

Jay a call RVD. I'm I'm telling the heads

1:20:20

up. I got two people that I can call that

1:20:22

might be able to work on that.

1:20:24

Alright. I will get on

1:20:26

that real soon. Alright.

1:20:29

Just a real quick outro

1:20:32

today. We appreciate you listening.

1:20:34

Let us know what movies you want to

1:20:36

see us or hear us watch if you

1:20:38

did watch this on YouTube

1:20:41

like subscribe hit the bell and then go

1:20:43

subscribe at gas digital dot com.

1:20:45

Check out the new site. Let us know what you think. Johnson show

1:20:47

at Gmail and let

1:20:50

us know. Did you you know do you

1:20:53

want to do you want more JCVD or fuck? No, you're getting

1:20:56

more even if you don't believe you do and

1:20:58

you got another Steven Seagal

1:21:01

coming at you too. I apologize

1:21:03

in advance the Patriot but not the one

1:21:08

you know exactly. Thank you tomanscape.com.

1:21:10

Use the promo code

1:21:12

Josta and you'll save 20% off plus free shipping

1:21:14

trim your nose, trim your ears,

1:21:16

trim your balls, trim your taint, whatever you got to trim, just

1:21:19

do it up, you know, get

1:21:20

get it high and tight. You

1:21:22

know, JCVD doesn't have hippie dick. That dude's hairless

1:21:25

like a baby seal. He's he's first. He's down and he's

1:21:27

waxing it off.

1:21:29

Right.

1:21:29

I would imagine you can't

1:21:31

you can't throw kicks like that unless you're aerodynamic.

1:21:35

You know, that's right. You can throw kicks like that

1:21:37

when you're listening to the new Sangwa Suga

1:21:40

Bagh. Let me tell you, go get it right now at

1:21:42

at Century Media Dot Store. Big thanks to Century

1:21:45

Media Records. And you can also preorder the new

1:21:47

Jesus piece over there and the new frozen soul

1:21:49

glacial domination. Don't forget frozen

1:21:52

soul will be at

1:21:53

the Walkie Metal Fest Saturday, May 27th. So

1:21:55

thank you to Century Media for sponsoring the festival and

1:21:57

sponsoring the podcast today. Also, thank

1:21:59

you.

1:21:59

YouTube Metal Blade Records. Come

1:22:02

meet Brian Slagle

1:22:04

at Milwaukee Metal Fest up in the rooftop

1:22:06

bar on Saturday, May 27th. Get a copy

1:22:08

of his new book signed

1:22:10

and make sure you get a

1:22:12

copy of the new Cattle Decapitation

1:22:14

at metalblade.com slash cattledecapitation

1:22:17

as well as pre-order the new Death Ray

1:22:19

Vision

1:22:20

at metalblade.com slash deathrayvision.

1:22:23

Last but not least, wanna thank Monarch

1:22:26

Heavy.

1:22:27

Monarchheavy.com, promo code 666

1:22:30

and then martistore.net for all your meet and greets.

1:22:34

Patreon.com slash Josta. What else? What

1:22:37

else can we plug? Gasdigital.com,

1:22:39

use promo code Josta for seven days free trial. Plug it again, fuck

1:22:41

it. Catch up on over 600 episodes of

1:22:43

the show.

1:22:44

Hell yeah, we got a lot more of these How Awesome Is This

1:22:46

up there right now under the bonus content page. So if

1:22:48

you like what you hear, go check it out.

1:22:51

And again, if you're listening on iTunes,

1:22:53

five star review please. If you're watching on YouTube,

1:22:56

like, subscribe, hit the bell. All right, we'll

1:22:58

be back with Dave Lombardo. Thanks everybody, bye

1:23:00

bye.

1:23:01

All right, cool. Okay,

1:23:06

good deal. And then so produced

1:23:08

by Brian McKay, executive

1:23:11

producers, Jake Olszewski, Ben

1:23:13

Lee, AJ Lewis, Garrett

1:23:15

Keeping, Dan Smith, Nick

1:23:18

Tirito, JJ Hernandez, Joe

1:23:20

Bartovic, Jason Jarvis, Chris

1:23:23

Larise, Alex Smolin, Todd

1:23:26

McKee, John Blewett, Richard

1:23:28

Miller, Kyle Marg, Nate

1:23:31

Leffingwell, Morgan Costner, Mark

1:23:33

Tagg, Zapagor Wicato,

1:23:36

Niall Scholard, Kathy

1:23:38

D'Ambrosio, Justin Steven,

1:23:41

Jack Flanders, the pit commander, Andy

1:23:43

Wilson, Jeffrey Kuhn, Kimmo

1:23:46

Humalemaki, Jonathan Metis,

1:23:49

Brandon Cooper, Matthew

1:23:51

Yonkouskis, Jamie Kutcher,

1:23:54

Ryan Underkoffler, Matt West,

1:23:57

Ryan Maurice, Chad

1:23:59

Green. Dallas Hendrix, Jacob

1:24:02

Arensberg, Kenneth Moore,

1:24:05

Kona Butterflies, Stephen

1:24:07

Helm, Richard McIntosh, Jeff

1:24:10

Stevenson, Ryan Williams,

1:24:12

Larry Thule, Dallas Bolin,

1:24:15

Ryan St., Nathan

1:24:17

Rex, Madrid, Cameron Hendrix,

1:24:20

scandalous official, Joe Matson,

1:24:23

Let's Talk resident evil, Andrew

1:24:26

Chase, Guy on the Couch, Chris

1:24:29

Winchester,

1:24:29

Antonio Ray's, Joe

1:24:32

Otzen, Dustin Stone, Lee

1:24:35

Walker, Ryan Levison, John

1:24:37

Hankis, Robert Bushaw,

1:24:40

Troy Seal, Mark Horror,

1:24:43

Armenta, Jay Liberston,

1:24:45

Nick Fowler, Mike Horgan,

1:24:48

Emma Horgan, Arner Rock, Patrick

1:24:51

King, Oscar Bromman, Stacey

1:24:54

Steineke, Fernando Samosa,

1:24:57

Patrick O'Brien, Dominique

1:24:59

Zimmer, Ryan Sanders,

1:25:02

Lara Snyder, Daniel Burt, Milwaukee

1:25:06

Metal Sausage, Adam

1:25:08

Bass.