0:00

almost home after that concert you've

0:02

been looking forward to four months It's

0:04

quiet the last song of the night still

0:06

playing in your Looks you're getting goosebumps

0:08

all over again when the nights a

0:10

hit that's when you're with Amex American

0:13

Express. Don't live life without it

0:23

There's an Tim you hate

0:25

these episodes when there's this kind of I love

0:27

this let me start the Simon Cardi.

0:30

How fucked up is it that Lucy James

0:33

has 70,000 more followers than

0:35

you on Twitter? I don't think I've

0:37

ever even thought about that, but now Now

0:40

you mentioned it. It's actually sickening. Isn't

0:42

it?

0:42

It's that thing where it's like that you work

0:44

for better website, IGN.com. And

0:47

she works for game spot, maybe

0:49

giant No really sure what's going on

0:51

over there. You've got one, you work

0:53

for anyone.

0:54

Exactly. That's a great point. And that's another great

0:56

point. car. Pino Is getting more sexy.

0:59

If just said Nick, this is Nick Leerbran. It's okay. I

1:01

think you're right. You say, does Lucy work at the local

1:03

farmer's market? I don't know. She's a joke

1:05

to You know what I mean? I love you so much,

1:07

Lucy. That's really clinging for relevance. So much. know

1:10

what I mean? And that's the thing. It's

1:13

like, oh, you're going really hard on Lucy today. It's like, well, remember

1:15

the rule. It's kind of funny. If you're not in

1:17

the room, we can make fun of you. If you're in the country,

1:20

we can really go all in on you. Can't we for

1:22

one sec appreciate the fact you bring

1:24

up the

1:24

energy. We get the smoke machine

1:27

about us talking shit about Lucy.

1:29

And it happened when the camera wasn't even

1:32

on the shot to show it and only one went So

1:35

it was about to be on the shot. It was

1:37

going in the shot.

1:38

It going to be in the shot. It

1:41

didn't go off the first time when the intro So

1:43

I was like, oh, it's not going to work. Let me test it one more time.

1:47

What's up, everybody. Kind of Funny

1:49

podcast. I'm one of your hosts, Greg

1:51

Miller, Alongside the producer

1:54

slash seducer Nick Scarpe-

1:56

What is with the one-shots, Kev?

1:59

Why are you so

1:59

with them today. We look good

2:02

today. We do look good. Tim,

2:04

this 1980s discussion denim

2:06

jacket you got on right now is my favorite movie. I fucking

2:09

love it. He looks like a protagonist in

2:11

an 80s movie for sure. You know what I mean?

2:13

He does. He's trying to figure

2:15

out how to have the party at his house. Grab the beer.

2:18

Oh my god. Is that the

2:20

day we're having right now?

2:23

Oh, it's a long day. He brought out the energy. I don't know

2:25

what he's talking about. Well, that's two beers at lunch, Tim and Greg.

2:28

You know what I mean? I think

2:30

we wanted you to come. We

2:32

finished games daily and I said, Simon

2:34

Carty has been hanging out with the

2:37

wet blankets. Tam and Lucy all

2:39

weekend long. You know what I mean? All you do

2:41

is walk around. You go into, you go into the shops

2:44

and you pick up and you go, this can't be better

2:46

in our country. This orange

2:48

juice is better in our county.

2:51

What can our country bring?

2:53

And

2:53

I said Buffalo Wild Wings and Tim said that's

2:55

a great idea. I didn't know there was beer involved,

2:58

but I'll have it at the

2:58

end. Hey, all right! Yeah!

3:02

The cool kids are back. I'm on holiday. Nick.

3:05

Despite doing more work today than I have probably done in

3:07

a long time. I fucking love it, dude. You are

3:09

my favorite human being that I've met in a very

3:11

long time. I know we met before, but I know I actually get

3:14

to hang out with you. And this last week

3:16

has just been... It's been good. The best

3:18

week of my life. I've had a lovely time. Like, you know,

3:20

I don't even really do know what my favorite shape is

3:22

because we never really got to the bottom of it. Yeah. But

3:25

we had a chat about it.

3:27

Yeah. Got a favorite shape Greg.

3:30

2D geometric by the way. No. Okay.

3:32

Thank you. I appreciate it. Thank you for giving me some rules. I appreciate

3:34

that a lot. You know what? Yeah. The Pentagon

3:37

probably,

3:38

you know what I mean? I like our

3:41

military. 9 11 never forget. Now

3:44

there's some questions. How the whole Pentagon,

3:47

how did the plane punch a perfect hole in

3:49

the side of the building? we won't get into

3:52

it we won't get into the fact there was a

3:54

tire there that didn't look to be from the same kind

3:56

of plane they said it was one day release saw the footage

3:58

don't worry Greg Miller's the only

3:59

person that when asked what's your favorite shape

4:02

his first words are 9 11 my

4:06

favorite shapes the letter 9 or 11 this

4:08

show is so much better without Andy yeah

4:11

it really is like he's not here there

4:13

it is right there is a Pentagon you

4:15

look at you like America you can feel

4:17

it you know what I mean full of red mist

4:20

exactly yeah Tara Tara did

4:22

miss remember that Avengers game no big deal

4:24

yeah

4:24

Simon you loved the Avengers game

4:27

the Avengers game I did we played a lot I've

4:30

got the platinum for that, which is... Is

4:33

it something I'm proud of? Yeah. I think so.

4:35

We went through a lot of highs with that. We took a lot of lows. And

4:37

a lot of lows. I said, hives. All right.

4:40

There were a lot of highs. There were a lot of lows. These

4:42

are deep cut Avengers game

4:44

references you probably don't get, Nick. No.

4:47

Oh, I don't get any of it. No, I don't

4:49

get any of them. I'm not even going to try. I get

4:51

zero of them. But I'm glad that you guys enjoyed your game.

4:54

Me too. Enjoy is a strong word.

4:56

Greg tried to sell people on this game for a very, very long time. very, very

4:58

long time, which for me, anytime someone

5:00

tells me I have to like something, I have the absolute

5:03

opposite reaction every single solid

5:05

thing. So he's not watching Succession.

5:07

Really? Watch one episode of it. Everyone's

5:09

like, you got to watch this show. I was like, I

5:11

just, you know what? I'm not watching anymore. Done.

5:14

In three years, he'll be like, hey, guys, Succession.

5:16

Totally. Yes. It's like when I brought

5:18

up the bear and told him to watch the bear, and he didn't do it for the

5:20

longest time. And then he finally did. This is the bone we're

5:22

going to be picking soon.

5:24

You know I discovered the bear.

5:27

And

5:27

I have a text thread, notifications.

5:30

I have a text thread that I could put out that is not

5:32

Photoshop that said, Greg, you're from the Chicagoland

5:35

area. You should watch this show called The Bear. It's about

5:37

a guy who makes sandwiches. And Greg's like,

5:40

Nick, I don't even know how to turn my fucking TV on, I'm

5:42

so dumb. And I was like, hit the big red

5:44

button, and all of a sudden it's a dot, dot, dot, whoa!

5:47

Whole other world for him, The Bear. No,

5:50

Greg, I do wanna add that, yes, I do remember

5:53

Nick recommending The Bear first,

5:56

but i didn't take it serious until you recommended well

5:58

that's the thing is is nixon doing one of his comedy bits.

6:01

I don't know if you know this, Simon. He likes to go do stand-up.

6:04

You look at the kind of funny counter all I see every night. Nick

6:06

at Elmo's shop. Whatever. Elmo's

6:10

shop? It does look like that sometimes. Like,

6:12

I see you at shit. Like, where the fuck

6:14

is, like, I know SF very well. Where

6:17

the fuck is Elmo's shop? There

6:19

is a lot of different- Bombadils hideout. Small

6:21

places. Whoa, Andy! Oh,

6:23

Andy's here. Andy, you're on the back wall! What up, brother?

6:26

When'd you get here? I made the mistake

6:28

of not being still the whole time and then suddenly

6:31

just moving out of nowhere I would be like wow

6:33

he's not a JPEG up there crushed

6:35

it. I love that you're here I love this whole thing. We had Simon

6:37

here today. He's been here. He's just hanging out He

6:41

left me didn't there yeah, I'm all this when then they fly

6:43

back to London you want to talk about some real English

6:46

hospitality They come on and hang out with us during

6:48

GDC Simon books. It says great,

6:50

and then like oh actually we have to go home Yeah, bye hmm.

6:53

They leave him here to go hang out with angel go for boy. I'm so

6:55

sorry You know what I mean? He'll never get the smell

6:57

out. What does

7:00

it smell like? What does it smell like? Desperation

7:02

of persona. There it is. That's personal persona.

7:05

That's huge. Yeah. Yeah.

7:08

You smell Barrett, you know.

7:10

There's some energy in the

7:13

bottom. I fucking love. Everybody's catching

7:15

the strays today. That's

7:17

the rule. Speaking of strays, you feel like a stray cat.

7:19

You're just here doing it. But like you're the coolest stray

7:21

cat. You ever see Tim grab the wheel and yank

7:24

us back on track? Yeah, that's it, that's it.

7:26

I just love it. You came through and

7:28

you're just like, hey, I'll be on anything. And I'm just like, I know,

7:30

but I'm not trying to put you to work because if you're fucking- I didn't

7:32

mean everything. That's true. I'm on holiday.

7:35

I will be on everything. He keeps telling me, I'm on holiday. I'm on

7:37

holiday. I'm like, oh, you have fun, okay?

7:39

No, I'm here to have fun. This is fun. Great.

7:42

This is the thing, this is his dream. And I just

7:44

can't, I can't not put you

7:46

on everything because you're the funniest motherfucker

7:48

I've ever met. I

7:49

have to live up to that now. But I don't,

7:52

so I just want everyone to know that might not mail.

7:54

That's good, thank you. If you're

7:56

an audio listener, we have an image that says Pentagon, Hexagon,

7:59

Octicon.

7:59

Oregon Hanging

8:07

out with you I've already learned a lot about myself through

8:10

you But so much so that I just want to share

8:12

you with everybody and like earlier

8:15

today when we were sat down here I was like, I

8:17

feel like Nick hasn't

8:19

been Quantified yet like he doesn't fucking know

8:21

but you guys did your whole stream So like yes Emma

8:23

was nice enough to join us today as we played a

8:25

game in the twitch lab and it was really fun We had a great

8:27

time. It was very wholesome time. Yeah, we stared down the

8:29

anus of a pig

8:31

Tim it's it's haunches moved a little bit and you could see

8:34

kind of hunch. Yeah, I prefer checking

8:36

it What is a hunch a hunch?

8:40

But you were your thigh and your butt

8:42

meat those would be your haunches You ever seen that

8:44

thing where the girls turn around me like put their

8:46

their fingers That's

8:49

the hunch that's what we're talking about I

8:51

preferred I'd

8:54

just say I wanted somewhere. I preferred the big anus

8:56

for the go anus. Mmm. Yeah, the good It's had

8:58

a tail the pig anus. It was it was totally

9:01

not obstructed. No, it was nice. What

9:03

game is this? I want to say animal

9:05

anus to you described it like you're a redacted

9:08

government document We're like something hung out

9:10

this today in the lab. They played a game the

9:12

game was called border police.

9:15

I want to say

9:16

You

9:21

play as a border patrol officer in

9:24

a fictional Russian sort

9:26

of like Eastern Bloc country, please Yeah,

9:29

spell out that's what this There

9:32

we go. See man. I was actually you know,

9:34

I was way up and where the hunch I thought the whole

9:36

fuck up You're telling me that Haunch

9:38

is like a scientific word. Yeah.

9:41

It's not like all the things

9:43

I've heard. It's like Choo Choo. Choo Choo, the Bon Choo

9:45

Choo. Like all the shit. Nick just says she. Haunch

9:48

is just a real animal part. It's a real pig.

9:50

He had a much thicker Haunch. You know what I mean? Kevin,

9:52

can you Google Pig Haunch?

9:54

And see what it comes up. Pig Haunch.

9:57

Pick Pig Haunch. big contraband.

10:00

Police is what it was called. Thank you, Darcy. That's

10:02

right, I messed that up. Contraband police is what it was called.

10:04

We were searching for contraband on a border, make sure that

10:06

no drugs or Adderall came. And if the Adderall did

10:09

come, then we were gonna confiscate that and put it to good use. Or shoot

10:11

them in the head. Here it happened.

10:13

Once it happened. It doesn't work like that.

10:15

Basically, it's hindquarters. You

10:19

lose $500 if you kill a member of the public, which seems quite

10:21

cheap. Again,

10:23

it's 1981 and you're in Russia. Yeah,

10:26

I don't know the rules. A Russian-like country, let's call it

10:28

that. Russian like Eastern Bloc country.

10:30

Yeah. Oh, you know, holiday within a holiday.

10:32

Exactly. We had a good time. It was fun though.

10:35

Thank you for joining us for that. Oh, thank you for having me. And if you're

10:37

around tomorrow, I'll put you to work on the morning show. That'll be fun. I'll

10:39

be here. I'll be here. My flight's at 7 p.m. So

10:42

you've gone till 4. Give me, you know.

10:44

I think we're gonna rake Easter candy and

10:46

you guys have Easter. You have that holiday. Yeah, yeah,

10:48

yeah. We have a lot of chocolate. Here we go though.

10:51

I brought the chocolate with me. Here we fucking go. The superior

10:53

chocolate. Heroes. Did you bring Cadbury? I'm

10:55

like, do you see the candy and then make fun of it? Kevin,

10:58

we have a guest. Kevin,

11:00

you're a guest. I

11:02

guess that's the biggest thing for me, personally,

11:05

is like, is England proud of anything other than their chocolate?

11:08

Because

11:10

this is what comes up every time. I'm

11:13

going, bro. They will go out of their way,

11:15

these Englanders, to have a piece of chocolate from America, and

11:17

be like, oh, it's so terrible. And

11:20

England's so great. You listen to, well, not the latest, yeah, the

11:22

latest X-cast with Chris Charles, Chris Charles. Chris

11:25

Charla, Chris Charla just mentions

11:27

that he had a bunch of Australian developers give him

11:29

Tim Tams and fucking Gary comes out

11:31

of left field and be like, fuck Australia, they only

11:33

got the Tim Tam. We got a whole bunch

11:35

of superior chocolates. We own music, so we

11:37

know it's better than America's. Like it's nothing like Belgium

11:40

or Switzerland. And

11:40

they're on another level, you know what I mean? I

11:43

don't know what we're proud of. I'm not proud of anything really.

11:45

Sure. We invented cricket.

11:47

That doesn't work here at all. You guys get a lot

11:49

of rain. That's pretty cool. And we have more now. I

11:52

mean, yeah, I arrived in this city. Yeah,

11:54

he's blowing over what's going on. Yeah, why are

11:56

you guys ashamed of anything

11:58

a lot? Yeah our past A

12:00

lot of colonialism. Present,

12:02

present, probably future.

12:06

I will say I appreciate that every time

12:08

someone from the UK or Australia comes over,

12:10

I end up getting chocolate of some sort, of some goodies.

12:13

But it's like that thing where they feel like they're doing

12:15

you a favor. But I had a bag of

12:17

KitKat minis from Target. Oh my God,

12:19

I inhaled them all week long. I was just

12:21

on the floor. I bought that box of chocolates and

12:24

I was like, do you know what? I'm

12:27

heading to the IGN office. I'll bring it in there. I

12:29

made a quick last minute pivot. I'm gonna bring him here. Thank

12:32

you. Well, yeah, I, G and you're gonna see

12:34

those people for what? Six more months before they go

12:36

somewhere else. Like, you know, we're here for the long haul. You're

12:38

making long relationships here. What is it

12:40

like going to the IGN office out of the Taco Bell? Is

12:42

it good? Out of the thought. What are they

12:44

working out in this city? They, I don't

12:47

know the exact address and I'd probably be doxin' and one my

12:49

bit. Yeah, doxin'. I missed that.

12:51

They have an office though. That was

12:53

the bad joke I was losing. Only when they're like two or three times,

12:56

but it was good also. How do

12:58

you feel about that? It's lovely.

12:59

I'm

13:01

wondering if it's just nice. It's inside

13:04

baseball. It's inside baseball

13:06

where you don't understand baseball. Or when

13:08

you're inside cheese. They went down to LA,

13:10

which is the Jocosk area. I find it hilarious. He's

13:13

like, I'm going to come visit the IG office. He's

13:15

like, well, you're about 500 miles in the wrong direction from it. It's in

13:17

Los Angeles now. Fran. They got

13:19

it. They even offered... Is that like

13:21

a semi-loop from the old? Yeah, a semi-loop.

13:24

It looks nice. little bit like an industrial freezer

13:26

downstairs. Yeah. But you know, it's

13:28

a mood.

13:29

Yeah, it is a mood for sure. Yeah, it's

13:31

chill. Well, you'd say we have a nicer office.

13:34

Kind of funny it's a nicer office. Probably. Thank

13:37

you. I appreciate that. Don't worry, everybody else says it. We

13:39

got there in the end. Lucy and Tam said it too, but are they talking

13:41

about giant bomb games? I know. No one

13:43

knows where they were. Andy, I wish I was you right now. I don't

13:45

want to be here. But you just get

13:47

to be there. I feel like you have less

13:49

responsibility. Like, people can't hold you accountable

13:51

for what's being said here. I feel at this point, we have to say for the record,

13:54

It was a gag to put him up that high on your shot, because

13:56

now it just looks like something's wrong. when they got to

13:58

the one shot of Tim and A-

13:59

Cut off at this point. We explicitly

14:02

said not to bring it up. Yeah, you said it

14:04

was gonna be a gag And then I'm looking I'm like

14:07

it's not

14:08

Funny you know anything like it just looks like

14:10

you don't know how to do your job Kevin And I know you know how to

14:12

do your job Kevin. I love you Kevin. This

14:14

isn't me insulting you

14:17

Kevin Lately

14:19

over that burrito you told me about Dude

14:24

this kid changed my fucking life with this

14:26

McDonald's breakfast burrito Oh, I thought you were gonna like that.

14:28

You fucking kidding me right now? Have you had one of these? No.

14:31

I'm bringing you one tomorrow. I'm not a breakfast person. I

14:34

don't give a shit. You're gonna enjoy it

14:36

if you're not. I'm shutting down your throat. Wow.

14:39

Real quick, I want to talk about this. You know, hold on. Andy

14:41

was gonna say something, Andy. Nah, nobody cares. I just

14:44

wanted to replace the background of me and I want to make it look

14:46

like I'm sneaking like

14:47

behind the wooden post. Like I'm kind of like sneaking

14:49

behind it. You know what I mean? Let's do it.

14:51

Andy, real quick, can you go do like a cosplay of the nun from the nun? Because

14:54

that'd be cool. Remember in the nun when she was

14:56

in the painting?

14:57

I think it was actually that might've been in one of the conjuring ones,

14:59

but you know, you know, the none from the none and the none,

15:02

the non it's hard to keep up with them.

15:05

You put it that way. It's a lot to

15:07

keep up with. I loved the fucking man.

15:09

I think about her at least once a week when she did the

15:11

whole painting thing, then she ran at

15:13

her. It's pretty crazy

15:16

for me. Gosh, you'll never be the same. Why

15:18

is this show? This is the kind of funny

15:21

podcast each and every week for sometimes

15:23

five best friends gather on this table,

15:26

each coming to talk to each other about whatever it is they want to talk

15:28

about if you want to talk to us about it.

15:32

Just

15:36

so you know Greg, the time code that

15:38

I just wrote down is the none question

15:40

mark.

15:42

Oh my god I love it. You

15:45

want to hang out with us of course you go to patreon.com slash

15:47

kind of funny where you can catch each and

15:49

every episode live as we recorded just like Madeline

15:52

is, Josh she is. Mike L

15:54

is Jake is

15:56

the fucking hagglers out there. God damn, maybe

15:59

fucked up. You No, no. You heard

16:00

of these haggler people? You might

16:02

think that you might think that brother and sister they're

16:04

married brother, but they're not brothers But

16:07

they have the closeness of a brother and a sister No,

16:12

so is that even more he's just gone Boy,

16:16

I'm gonna say it like it's rare everybody

16:18

you turn on the car in the radio

16:20

starts playing the greatest song of a generation And

16:22

that's what's happening. This is a podcast right? Yeah, all right.

16:25

It's very wet. We're at where it's very

16:27

red I feel lost. Yeah It's

16:30

not for

16:30

me. Let me bring you back to center When

16:33

this gets out into the world, hey green

16:35

is gonna make a tick-tock about this Point

16:42

podcasts, yeah You

16:44

know a lot of people talked into microphones, but they've never

16:47

become one with the microphone. All right right

16:49

now Think of the threads you have yeah, and

16:52

he's the none No

16:55

one knows where they are

16:57

connected possibly

16:59

I don't know I mean the same room together it's

17:02

true I come press as Nick chose cast today I don't think

17:04

I was the one that chose that I'm just I just enjoy

17:06

it I agree to do this one minute before it's gonna

17:08

literally one minute before I appreciate

17:11

about you

17:12

I what a choice yeah well

17:14

I mean it's like it could ruin your entire career and a couple

17:16

days ago patreon.com

17:19

slash kind of funny and you get it ad free and you can do all that stuff

17:21

and you watch lives to record it and of course you get all the other things

17:23

and you get bonus episodes and remember of course

17:26

Thursday March 30th I'm doing a one hour long

17:28

Greg way live on patreon exclusively 1 p.m.

17:31

Come hang out with me there Pacific of course if

17:33

you have no money toss our way no big deal of course

17:35

you can catch the kind of funny podcast with ads

17:38

on youtube.com slash kind of funny podcast services

17:40

around the globe each and

17:42

every week housekeeping for you remember

17:44

John wick is out

17:45

piano Reeves

17:47

back thinking he's back in Brendan Fraser they

17:50

got careers again all because of this one well not

17:52

Brendan Fraser wasn't in this movie can you imagine though

17:55

Brendan Fraser. He's probably the next one. I

17:58

mean, would you say about Johnny five? John Wick

18:00

John Wick. Oh man. What if John had five

18:02

heads? You're having five minutes though. You know what I mean? Short circuit.

18:05

Short circuit. Do I remember? I mean,

18:07

I was. Yeah.

18:10

One of those moments where I went back and watch short

18:12

circuit maybe like two months ago, got 15

18:14

minutes into what I was like. Please. I

18:16

almost don't want to ask this. But like

18:19

how it's I mean,

18:21

these movies pop up on like Amazon Prime or I

18:23

think it's sort of like it was actually on Netflix. I'm

18:25

not mistaken. I was like, oh, sure. I love this movie. When

18:27

I was a kid, start watching. I'm like, oof, it

18:30

is bad. I don't wanna hear that movie.

18:32

I wouldn't remember it. Short Circuit 2 was the one that was really good.

18:34

Short Circuit 2 was the one that go in the city. Not

18:37

Steve Gutenberg. No, no Gutenberg. They got rid of

18:39

Gutenberg, they got rid of Ali water. Yeah, he was too busy,

18:42

Ali Sheeny. Gutenberg was too busy

18:44

ripping through the police academy sequels at that

18:46

point. He was like, I got the better franchise. And honestly,

18:48

depending on how you look at it, he was right, he might've

18:50

been right. Have you gone to watch Police Academy recently? Does that hold up?

18:53

No, it's pretty bad. I mean,

18:55

there's a certain fun

18:57

nostalgia to both movies, but short-circuit

19:00

is just kind of not. No,

19:02

short-circuit is less. It was less about that. Less like problematic

19:04

and more just doesn't

19:06

make any fucking sense. Isn't there a white guy who

19:08

like does brownface the entire thing? Yeah, that part is

19:10

not. In short-circuit. Oh, yeah. The

19:12

guy that plays the. He's in both.

19:14

In the second one, he's like a main character. Yeah,

19:16

yeah, yeah. He is. Yeah, he is. Most

19:19

notably in my brain, he plays

19:21

the bad guy in the movie Hackers. And

19:23

I remember seeing him being like, the guy looks really familiar. And it took

19:25

about 20 years to realize he was

19:27

sort of in brownface the entire short circuit

19:29

one and two Not a good look not

19:32

a great look for him

19:33

but I digress Sorry

19:36

back to housekeeping. Is there any brownface in john wick

19:38

for no? Okay. No,

19:40

I think we that's a safe one for now Thankfully, um,

19:43

I think we've sussed that out and

19:45

weeded that out from a lot of mainstream films that have been

19:47

I appreciate that Uh, thank you to our patreon

19:49

producers. Nathan lamoff tripod plus plus

19:52

tripod plus plus yeah, that's frent berry

19:55

James Hastings, Casey Andrew today,

19:57

we're brought to you by rocket money and shady raise, But I'll tell

19:59

you about that.

19:59

For now, I cut you off, Tim.

20:02

You were trying to get somewhere. You were going somewhere. I'm

20:04

going to see if we have the haggle. Is it shapes

20:06

again? There was a lot of things

20:08

I was trying to get at some point that I... None

20:11

of them matter, but things I do want to tell you, though. Sure.

20:13

Let's go. One of them is Simon Picardy

20:15

was never on live content ever

20:18

until he came here

20:19

last week for Games Daily. And this is now

20:22

his fourth live thing he's done. It's

20:24

one of those things as usual. IGN

20:26

will take an MVP, put him in the

20:28

icebox. They forget about it. You know what I mean?

20:30

We're not gonna we're not red shirt you for 12 years I

20:33

mean, can you blame them because the

20:35

last time they put three

20:36

people on camera they

20:39

ended up? being the three

20:41

of us awesome There's

20:46

just so much about that to break down but

20:49

I just love that now you're just one of us you're

20:51

here You're stuck with us and

20:53

we're having a great time overall It's

20:56

okay Okay, you're

20:58

predominantly then the

20:59

written word. I'm a producer

21:02

and I started as a video editor,

21:04

producer. Now I do a lot more writing

21:06

than anything probably, but I just kind of, yeah, I did

21:08

a bit of everything. So you don't have any designs or

21:11

desire to be on camera? And we're just sort of making

21:13

you live your nightmare? I do a bit of stuff, it's all recorded. I'll do like interviews

21:15

and junket stuff. That's

21:17

mainly for like film and TV stuff. But

21:20

yeah, I don't mind being on camera. I just don't do live. Like

21:22

if we're at E3 or Gamescom, I don't really

21:24

wanna be in the live. Yeah, it's the live.

21:26

The live you've

21:28

got it you fucking have

21:31

to well live is really fun because inevitably what you

21:33

do is Everything will go great for a two three

21:35

four podcast and then you'll say something

21:37

just totally wrong Oh, yeah, and you never take

21:39

it back. You can never take it back. Yeah, but that's how you thought

21:41

was our entire game Sally yeah, so

21:44

he was live for the first time and we made the most of it We

21:46

just

21:47

aired our grievances let everything out there good.

21:49

Yeah, good But I wanted to introduce

21:51

you to the triangles Nick the triangles. Yes.

21:54

Have you heard about the try? No, I'm not I've heard you guys talking

21:56

about triangles and in my brain,

21:58

this is how stupid I am.

21:59

I think you guys are talking about triangle of sadness, which is a movie

22:02

I don't wanna watch. No. So

22:04

I have just, every time you watch this triangle, I just go, I don't wanna

22:06

watch that. I watch the menu, it was better. What's your

22:08

favorite shape?

22:09

What's my favorite shape? I gotta go with circle.

22:12

I like round things too. Yeah, I just like circles. I

22:14

think they're fun. They remind me of balls.

22:17

Yeah, that's one of them. Like a bouncy ball. Sure,

22:19

sure, that ball. Our footballs, not

22:21

your footballs, your footballs are weird. Yeah, our footballs are weird.

22:24

They got squished. Egg shaped. I mean, the

22:26

triangles are great too. Do you people love triangles? Don't

22:28

they say the triangle is

22:30

the strongest shape? Or is that

22:32

a circle, Kevin?

22:34

Do they say the triangle's the strongest? Strongest

22:36

shape in nature. Who are they? Okay, I'll

22:38

tell you who they are. I forget what

22:41

specific program I was watching. They're talking about earthquakes.

22:44

And when they see buildings collapse, they

22:46

see people saved in pockets of triangles because

22:48

the triangles collapse and they're very, very strong and they always

22:50

find people in the middle. Do they say when this earthquake get next

22:52

to your bed or something that's gonna catch something

22:54

and create a triangle so you can exist in the middle? Yeah, yeah,

22:57

yeah. Does that make sense? 90 degree angle.

22:59

Makes sense to me. But at 90 degrees, but like,

23:02

at the rotation you want it. Exactly. Protect

23:04

you. Exactly that. So is there a proper,

23:07

is there a correct shape that is the one everyone cares about?

23:09

No, I was flitting between circle and triangle

23:11

really. I think you decided triangles, didn't you,

23:13

for a very specific reason? Yeah, the reason

23:16

that I wanted to tell you, because I'm not sure if I've

23:18

told you the story before. I must have,

23:20

and I must have said it on this show, some

23:22

variation of this show at some point. But the reason

23:25

triangles are my favorite shape, There's the triforce,

23:28

right? There's like a lot of triangles. There's my

23:30

childhood. Yeah, he loves the

23:32

cheese triangles. So it's like, he just,

23:34

it makes him happy. The cheese trinolones,

23:36

right? Toblerone. Toblerone's like.

23:38

The arm. The lot of triangle shaped

23:40

food. Triangle shaped chocolates.

23:42

Yeah, what's up with that? Do you know that, have you heard

23:44

of Quality Street? That's a chocolate we have. It's

23:47

like, you haven't met Christmas a lot. Can I say,

23:49

and I know you've heard this before. Just

23:51

the weirdest fucking names for your snack trip. Digestives.

23:55

Quality, do you want to take a trip down Quality Street? No,

23:57

nobody wants to take down a trip down. That

23:59

sounds...

23:59

It sounds like health food. It sounds like health food, yeah.

24:02

It's just chocolates, but one of those is the green triangle,

24:04

which is really, it's the best one, it's kind of chocolate

24:06

with almost softer truffle chocolate inside.

24:09

Huh? That's another good triangle. Yeah.

24:11

Yeah. So many good triangles. This is great,

24:13

isn't it? This is what people want, man. I'll tell you what, the

24:16

UK audience, the London audience, you know what I

24:18

mean? They feel drastically underrepresented here. They're

24:20

always happy when Gary shows up with some weird spotted

24:23

dick or something for us to eat. You know what I mean? I've

24:25

already had that chip that was like, you put on toast and you're like, Not

24:27

Marlott, Marlott, Marlott. Yeah, that was it.

24:29

It was something. I mean,

24:31

I like it, but that says something. Well, the whole deal,

24:34

their whole ad for campaign was always like, you have a love

24:36

it or you hate it. And I think it's fine. So

24:38

maybe I've got your money back. You

24:40

know what I mean? Exactly. Was that really

24:42

their marketing campaign? Yeah, it's like, you either love it. Like

24:45

people say like, what's your Marmite food? They mean like

24:47

saying, you know, people love or hate. Like I don't know,

24:50

coriander.

24:51

People love or hate it, don't they? So coriander, yeah.

24:53

Yeah. What is coriander? Cilantro.

24:56

Cilantro. I picked the one thing. I'm thinking that

24:58

one. Sorry, not coriander.

24:59

That's what coriander is for? Yeah, I know that. The

25:01

things you learn. Yeah. LexiG

25:03

nails it and says, Lowell, why?

25:06

Why? Why did we waste time on this, Andy?

25:08

You could have been dressed as a nun, but you're

25:10

peeking out from behind the fireplace?

25:12

Oh my god. Whoa.

25:15

Like, hey, man. Like, dude, you got

25:18

some little elf back there. It's a serious fucking podcast,

25:20

and I got Andy over here not doing the nun,

25:22

doing this instead. My favorite thing

25:25

is for a second, I didn't realize he was live. I

25:27

thought it was like a gift that Kevin had made that

25:29

just pops out. Great

25:32

job, Andy. Simon. Yeah.

25:35

This has been covered a little bit this week, but you know, there's a new

25:38

audience for every show. You used to be

25:40

just like the Troggs,

25:41

a kind of funny best friend. Yeah. A

25:43

nobody in the industry.

25:45

Nothing's ever going to happen for you.

25:47

You came to kind of funny live though. We changed your life.

25:49

Isn't that right? We set you up. Oh

25:52

yeah. You set me on the path.

25:53

I'm trying to think. When was that? When

25:56

was? dollar and I caught from the crowd gave

25:58

it to Tim. You see that, the

26:00

kind of When

26:04

was that was that 26 16? Yeah,

26:07

so what I started I'd yeah in August 2017

26:10

So it was like a year later you got that you got the

26:12

kiss from us, you know, yeah that must have been what it was Yeah,

26:15

I think I'd already applied once before then didn't get

26:17

it But I saw sense then now it's

26:19

basically a reference when you're gone. I've been to kind of any left,

26:21

too Yeah, so yeah, what do you want to say you saved my life?

26:24

No, no, I want to know more How did you, how

26:27

did you find us? How did you find kind of, I always used

26:29

to listen to IGN. So I

26:30

listened to beyond game scoop. Been

26:32

listening to you too long. Yeah.

26:36

And yeah, when you moved out,

26:38

I also moved. I appreciate

26:40

that. Listen to kind of funny. It was in to all of it. And I thought,

26:42

do you know what? The first time I ever went to San Francisco, I was like, I'm

26:44

just gonna head out. What's going to go? How old

26:47

were you?

26:47

Well, when was that? I would

26:49

have been 24. Okay. Yeah.

26:52

and

26:54

I'm a big trip. Did you know anybody? No,

26:57

I met with you guys. I'm not online for kind

26:59

of funny. We shared an Airbnb There's a rest

27:01

they could have killed me. Yeah, it's always the risk.

27:03

I kind of funny event. Yeah, and then I came along and yeah That's

27:06

awesome. You know what's funny? What's that? That live event?

27:08

You also did like so the first time

27:10

my overwatch was playable or something Yeah, I've

27:12

watched and I watched that game Wasn't

27:17

the first time was playable, but it was like

27:19

us we had we had early access I

27:23

just love the idea that like overwatch

27:25

whatever bring whatever shit game you want Was

27:30

sponsored by overwatch This

27:36

game looks not for me not a chance this will

27:38

take off yeah, yeah like I know 3,000 hours

27:40

Yeah,

27:43

that was a fun weekend Well

27:45

week

27:46

Now you made it you

27:48

made it you know The

27:50

hagglers can't say that exactly. They

27:52

didn't make all the Cody's there. Yeah.

27:55

Cody popped up. Nobody understands exactly what happened.

27:57

Cody, I'll tell you right now. It's That's a huge mistake not to

27:59

have your f- number on your Patreon profile. And

28:01

I don't know if that's something you can put, but you should have. Cause I try

28:03

to call you, but you can find it. Yeah.

28:06

It's a little surreal to me, but I'm kind

28:08

of right now. Cause this

28:11

is what actually hit. Okay.

28:13

Fuck you. Simon Cardi, of course. Right.

28:16

Another one

28:18

of these fucking UKers with the chocolate

28:20

and all this jazz, right? The thing you did that pissed me off the

28:22

most racist. What is it? Oh, I

28:25

got the wrong time.

28:28

was that Lucy James brought

28:31

him out here. He slept on my couch

28:33

for an entire week. A night.

28:35

A tire week.

28:37

All my food talk. All the food.

28:39

You know, he tried to walk Portillo at one point, all this different

28:41

stuff. And then it wasn't, it wasn't until

28:44

he was gone that Lucy's like, yeah, he's big funny.

28:46

He was a big kind of funny thing. He knew, and I was like, what?

28:49

He never told me ahead of time. We could have had conversations

28:51

there. You gotta be cool. Nah, nah. What

28:53

have we ever been cool? It's time for, you know, he But now

28:55

we know and look at him here. He's on the show. I don't make a big

28:57

deal I'm you know, I don't

28:59

make a big deal out of things. I'm

29:01

relaxed Most relaxed guy

29:03

I've ever met Now

29:07

here's a conversation I think you'll be well versed

29:09

in with her. Yeah, right. It's me I was talking to mr.

29:11

Carter the other day. He brought up the fact

29:13

that you know what? I look a lot like

29:15

young John candy and he showed this thing

29:18

seen a picture of young John. Yes Yes,

29:20

yeah, yep, and he was and

29:22

I was like you should cosplay as John Candy from

29:24

a movie

29:25

And we started going on a list of what it should be and

29:28

of course uncle buck came up right about huge But

29:30

here I went with why not do home

29:32

alone when he pops up as one of the the poke band

29:34

members You know, I mean that That's

29:41

very uncle buck though if you can grow the mustache

29:43

gonna see uncle buck Yeah, I'm thinking you should

29:45

be anything there when he did sort of I mean

29:47

to bring it back full circle Do you remember who's Harry Crumb when

29:49

he dresses up as a really really tan? and potentially

29:53

Middle Eastern man, where it kind of gets racist. I

29:55

would

29:55

never, when he has the mutton chops and

29:58

they come off on his chest. Let's do that one. The

30:00

mud. Yeah. Okay. You can do that. Yeah.

30:02

Yeah. Yeah. I love John Candy. I

30:05

think everyone loves John Candy. Take him before his time.

30:07

Yeah. One of the comedic greats. Yeah. Any generation.

30:10

Yeah. I kind of, well, our surnames are

30:12

quite, I occasionally get a male that says Simon

30:14

Candy. So it's like, you know, have you thought

30:16

about changing your last name to Candy?

30:18

The Candyman. You know,

30:21

yeah. Yeah. That's actually good. Simon Candy.

30:23

Simon the candy man lemme card is a great last

30:25

name sign and I want to ask the candy man

30:28

what do you

30:30

do you get a nickname from cardi

30:32

just cut most people call me cardi how'd you feel on cardi

30:35

B showed up yeah really question she supposed

30:37

to have an eye my why whenever

30:39

people don't know me now they've not there's probably some in this chat I'm

30:41

not playing I would have assumed it was c-a-r-d-i

30:44

now mines why yeah so that's

30:46

why you candy yeah that makes a lot of Exactly.

30:49

It's all coming together. I've seen this. Darth

30:51

Doobie in the chest says. I was around before her. Yeah.

30:54

Yeah, but again, it's the whole, you know,

30:56

you see lapping you by 70,000 people. I'm not

30:58

as famous as Darth Doodie B, am I? Not yet.

31:00

Not yet. You guys start really letting it go.

31:03

Like, the flow. Your flow. Yeah, that's what I

31:05

meant. Darth Doobie says, do the cosplay

31:07

from the great outdoors. Just dress up as a fisherman,

31:09

or when you have the glasses, and shot the bear. Darth,

31:12

I love you. That is such a deep cut, though. I

31:14

hate. I got it. Mog.

31:16

Mog? I'm a half man, half dog. I'm

31:19

my own best friend.

31:20

I don't know. That is good. What the fuck? Spaceballs.

31:22

He's talking space ball. Spaceball. Barf,

31:24

I believe. Barf. Yeah. But he was

31:26

a mom. Yeah. Barf. Barf. Barf. Barf. That's a good one.

31:28

You ever think of that, though? I need to rewatch Spaceballs. It's

31:30

been decades too long. I

31:34

watched shit maybe a year ago, honestly.

31:37

And it was, I'm sad to say, it didn't,

31:39

it wasn't as entertaining as I had wanted it to be.

31:42

Because growing up, when you watched Spaceballs

31:44

as a kid, you were like, well, we don't have any more Star Wars. So this is

31:46

what this is. Yeah. This is closer than we can get.

31:48

Of course Rick Moran is incredible in that film.

31:50

But yeah, I watched it. You've heard for it,

31:53

man. The oldest trick in the book, man.

31:56

It's like watching a scenario movie where it's like, God, man,

31:59

it's...

31:59

so good. It was so good, but it's just

32:02

scream. Like it's like made

32:04

it good, but it's also like exactly, but it's barely

32:07

a parody and it's the things that are our parody.

32:09

It's like, okay, that's clearly

32:12

just like, what's the easiest joke we can make.

32:14

And there are many years of podcasting. I've talked about it

32:16

before, but it is worth every time bringing out

32:18

that

32:19

before we ever got to end game

32:22

or anything like that, the scary

32:24

movie trailer was the loudest

32:26

theater reaction I've ever been a part of where

32:28

we, that was when we were going to the movies, you

32:31

know, I'm in high school, we're going to see American Pie. We're doing

32:33

obviously going to see screams and all the different screams.

32:36

And when we went there, you know, they weren't on the

32:38

internet yet, or if they were, nobody was watching yet. And so

32:40

we were in there in a packed house for whatever fucking

32:42

movie we're going to see that night as teenagers. And

32:44

when that one came on, we

32:47

fucking, and I don't mean we, I mean the entire

32:49

theater lost their fucking minds

32:51

because everyone knew scream so well.

32:53

So for that to happen, and the trailer was so

32:55

pitch perfect, it was fantastic.

32:58

I can't even imagine. Those

33:00

movies are so, the comedy

33:02

in those movies is so base. Oh,

33:04

it's so surface level. Here it is. Surface

33:07

level.

33:08

It's almost, and it's almost insulting to me,

33:10

and I am the most base surface level comedy

33:12

guy that I know of. It's insulting because of how hard

33:14

you laugh at it. It's insulting because it's just like,

33:17

it's so

33:18

fucking like lowest hanging

33:20

fruit possible. Yeah. And I just cannot

33:22

believe how many of those movies they made. I

33:25

also love it. Mike tried to walk in. I locked eyes

33:27

with me. He tried to put a box in

33:29

the storage area, locked eyes with me, and I just

33:31

shook my fucking head. Like, don't you put that shit there. It's

33:33

gonna stay there forever. All those stupid wheels

33:35

that he's got that the kids spent 45 minutes

33:38

today trying to calibrate, and they're never gonna play with

33:40

again.

33:41

Can you bring on Mike to talk about how he met

33:43

Phil Spencer? This is the coolest thing ever. This

33:45

is so cool. Mike! Mike,

33:47

come on stage, man. Did

33:49

he tell you that he saw Jeff Keighley? No. And

33:52

he saw Jeff Keighley. They were in a part with Andy, And

33:55

he pulled the mic, he was like, I'm gonna go. Hey,

33:58

what's up? You know, to the boss. I'm I'm

34:00

gonna go talk to the big dog. I'm gonna talk to the big

34:02

dog. And Andy tells me, Andy, you wanna tell the story? Yeah,

34:05

and Mike was like, he was prepared. And he

34:07

was like, I'm gonna go talk to the big dog. See you later,

34:09

bro. And I was like, all right, sounds good, man. And

34:12

he walks away for about 10 seconds. And

34:14

then inevitably just

34:16

kind of turns back around and starts walking back up to

34:18

us. And he's like, couldn't do it. Too scared. He

34:20

was too scared. Too nervous. Well, also

34:23

Keely was still in like the, I just

34:25

entered, I'm still near the doorway mode.

34:27

You don't want to

34:28

you don't want to impose in that moment, you know, but

34:31

Mike, man, he was like big

34:33

dog with Phil Spencer. It was so cool. This he

34:35

was two industry legends talking to my God. Right

34:39

now, you're the best, Andy.

34:41

So you met Phil Spencer.

34:43

Met Papa Phil for the first time. It was all

34:45

you say you call him Papa. No,

34:47

I call him Shred Lord Phil.

34:51

We just talked about shredding the whole time. Oh, nice. Yeah.

34:53

Try to connect and just keep it simple. You know what I mean?

34:56

Industry icon

34:57

vet in the game. Now, why are you too scared to talk to

34:59

those Spencer? You can't go Jeff. You I

35:02

need landy support on that one You know what I mean? He

35:04

walked in and it was like the whole

35:06

room paused it was like oh snap Jeff

35:08

Keeley's here huge You heard the murmurs all

35:11

around and I looked at it I

35:13

looked at Andy I was like we got to go up there

35:16

big dog him and talk to him Right, and he's like, I

35:18

don't know Mike. I said I'm gonna go do it I walked

35:21

over there. He had everybody in their mother trying to

35:23

shake hands with him and I was like not the time

35:25

He was also in the entrance cone. Yeah,

35:27

did Andy tell you about the entrance? He said he was at

35:29

the entrance. Yeah Door

35:33

it's rainy. It's a San Francisco night.

35:35

So rain. Is this the Xbox lounge? Yeah. Okay.

35:37

Yeah, I know I know the cone I know this was

35:40

free bond night. Yeah three one night. Uh-huh

35:45

I'm a three bond man. Uh-huh.

35:47

I had an egg that looked kind of brown and weird,

35:49

but I had it we went to if I do

35:52

for

35:53

And I got a three

35:55

buns. Oh, yeah Yeah, because it was just a round.

35:58

It was bad, Nick. It was fine. It was. Probably

36:00

fine. You just like throw it up. Lucy

36:02

James Locke dies with me and I was like, you

36:04

got to put this down. Mike, don't vomit in front of

36:06

Lucy. Yeah, I 70 thousand. I

36:09

said that I was in the I was in a tree

36:11

of trust and he was like, Andy, like, you know,

36:13

I'm going to be very honest with the all y'all right now.

36:15

I've only ever had ramen out

36:18

of the package like the crunchy. I've never actually

36:20

had like cooked ramen. And so I tweeted

36:22

that out. And then Tam said

36:24

after this, because there was like

36:26

a crazy accident on the bridge to

36:28

Oakland. So traffic was crazy.

36:31

Me and Mike felt like maybe

36:34

we're just gonna stay in the streets overnight here. We

36:36

don't know how to get back up. And

36:38

Lucy and Tam were like, let's go get some ramen. We'll

36:41

take you to Ippudo. And

36:44

then over there, traffic should be

36:46

more chill. We can get an Uber, we can finally

36:48

go home. And so

36:50

me, Mike, Tam, and Lucy

36:52

walked in 45 degree rain for

36:56

about 20 minutes, Mike. It was a fucking

36:58

nightmare. I don't know why we did it. It was sideways,

37:00

Tim. It was the earth, it was sideways.

37:03

We don't know any sideways type stuff. That was like,

37:05

what was that? Like Tuesday night? That

37:07

was Tuesday night. That's when we shared a hibiscus together.

37:10

We had a hibiscus in ginger, which

37:13

never again wasn't that good. That sounds horrible. Yeah,

37:15

it wasn't very enough. We only got it because this guy

37:17

appointed someone else's drink and asked him what it was.

37:20

So we got three of them. Yeah, Simon was like,

37:23

Simon was like, I'm going to get a beer. It's the best beer you

37:25

can get, Mike. And I said, oh, that's so awesome. He said, let

37:27

me get you something. That's my treat.

37:29

And I said, I don't drink beer, but I'll have that fruity

37:31

drink over there. And, uh, it was a flower.

37:35

But I get you. Don't get herbaceous. Yeah.

37:37

Well, yeah, I spoke to Jeff Keeley for the first time this

37:40

week. He misheard me and thought I was the GM

37:42

of IGL. Should've

37:44

rolled. Yeah, I should've rolled with

37:46

it, but I had to, I, I couldn't pretend

37:48

that. That was, that was too much. What was

37:50

his reaction though?

37:51

Oh, he started asking me, do I know I eat three pounds

37:54

on a line? No, it must've

37:56

been funny. See if I was the GM. I was just like, oh, I have

37:58

no idea.

37:59

I love

38:02

that. Yeah. Although to be fair if someone asked me Hey,

38:05

what's kind of funny splines for you three? It

38:10

does seem like I'm always good to

38:12

ask cuz I don't really like care

38:14

but what what is the status of E3

38:16

right now? I'm happy you asked

38:18

Nick. It's got a date Because

38:21

yeah, cuz everyone's like that Ubisoft's not gonna

38:24

be there so he's pulling us so any might I don't know they're doing

38:26

There's a whole thing going on.

38:28

It seems like this is one of those moments where your

38:30

friends like, dude, we're going to the concert

38:32

and you're like, did we get tickets? Like,

38:34

do we know any of the information that we need

38:36

relevant to actually make it to the concert to watch the concert?

38:39

Absolutely not. It's like going to a music festival and

38:41

not knowing anyone on the bill. You're

38:43

just like, I

38:44

guess we'll have a drink. It's

38:46

got a good name. It's got a, it's got the

38:49

cache. It's got to be a part of it. We'll see if it actually

38:51

turns out. I'm scared for you guys. I don't want you guys going

38:53

to LA. We're getting lost. We're not doing anything

38:55

yet. It's fair. I

38:56

was looking forward to it. You threw this year, though. I

38:58

was looking forward to actually

39:00

like I enjoyed it. And I enjoyed the one GDC party

39:02

that I went to that nobody recognized me until I was trying to leave.

39:04

And then you went to a GDC party. I didn't say this. No,

39:07

what the fuck party? You go to I didn't go to

39:09

that Elmos club. We're

39:11

going to hear all about Nick's GDC story.

39:13

But first, I want to tell you a Patreon dot com slash

39:16

kind of funny over on Patreon dot com slash

39:18

kind of funny. Of course, you can watch

39:20

this show as we record live like the hagglers

39:22

are or at least Cody is.

39:25

I don't know where Melissa is.

39:27

So I don't want to try to, I'm not going

39:29

to be an alibi if the police are watching

39:31

this. All right. I haven't seen her in the live chat yet.

39:33

I'm just saying what I know. Okay. Yeah.

39:35

So you think he killed her. Is

39:38

that what you're saying? Listen, I would never

39:40

say something like that on the record, Nick, but I'm

39:42

just saying I've only seen Cody in the

39:44

chat. Simon, people pay

39:46

to watch us live, which I know is terrifying.

39:52

What? I'm a change! You

39:54

gotta tell me you got a thin skin like Burt Meg?

39:56

You won't come

39:57

back? watch live

39:59

that are happy married couple and our

40:01

first instinct is to imply

40:04

that they're siblings and that our second

40:06

is to apply that they might have killed each other no

40:09

that's third okay it was the siblings are banging

40:11

each other well siblings siblings banging

40:13

each other and then that one might have killed the other person

40:15

like a deer John sort of way mm-hmm where

40:17

it was like a whole you

40:19

know like the um the Tim Daly Connie

40:22

Brighton your deer

40:24

John was that what was called. I'm not.

40:27

It was a podcast series that they made

40:29

into the scholarship. You're right. You're right.

40:31

I do remember this. Dear John is right. You're

40:34

right. Yeah. No nuts.

40:37

You have a killed anyone. Andy, I'm

40:39

in the middle of a transition. Do you mind? Yeah,

40:42

I'm messing this one up. Get out of here. Go back

40:44

to the five behind the fireplace. Go back

40:47

to terrorizing the Salesforce tower. No, it is time for

40:49

you right now. Of course though, if you want

40:51

the show ad free, you have to go to patreon.com

40:53

slash kind of funny and you're not there. So here's

40:55

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43:02

Back to you, Nick. It is Dirty John. Dirty John. Dirty

43:05

John. Dirty John. That one was

43:07

so like, I was watching it, and I was like, you know what, this

43:09

is, I'm so uncomfortable, because I love Connie

43:11

Britton from Nashville. I can't watch the rest of this.

43:13

I mean, I, again, that's another one of those shows,

43:16

like, Succession, that I walked in, watched like 30 seconds

43:18

of it. I'm like, this is intense,

43:19

and I don't need to be a part of this. I think my wife watched the

43:22

entire thing though. She was obsessed with it for a hot second. Can

43:25

I tell you, before I get to my GDC party, I went to a

43:27

birthday party over the weekend where they did the video message

43:29

thing. And so- I don't

43:31

like when you do things that I don't know about. Yeah.

43:34

It stresses me out. Okay. Well, I thought

43:36

it was Brennan's wife. Okay, cool, cool, cool. Yeah,

43:38

she was turning 40. And so they did a thing

43:41

and I went to it

43:42

and he did a whole video message thing for people that couldn't

43:44

be there. And of course, I think had

43:46

some real fun on Cameo. We'll just say that. Vanderpump,

43:50

Lisa Vanderpump was there. Another

43:55

housewife that I didn't, I don't know, but I read

43:57

it. You got the housewives? What the fuck? the

43:59

Housewives.

44:00

And then I forgot what I forgot

44:02

the ladies name and then he got Brian Cox from

44:05

succession No, yeah who

44:06

did I apparently that's some sort of signature phrase. It's

44:08

like stuff it up your fucking ass or something like that Yeah, that's

44:11

what it was. So he's like a happy birthday Have

44:14

a great day. Love you man. Fuck off. Why

44:16

does he need I don't know. I don't

44:18

know but I assume that he's cashing in

44:21

Why not? Well here's the thing though, a

44:23

lot of cameo people do it for charity like Lisa Vanderpump.

44:26

It goes straight to charity for dogs. I wanna

44:28

know how much Brian Cox costs. Listen to the lies and you believe it don't you tell me. No

44:30

dude, it goes to Vanderpump Dogs. Okay.

44:33

And Vanderpump Dogs is a non-profit charity that goes to pay

44:35

for Lisa Vanderpump's

44:36

hair. And her dogs. And

44:38

her dogs. She has a lot of dogs. She has a dog named

44:41

Pikachu and a dog named Pink Dog. The Pink Dog

44:43

is named Pikachu.

44:44

The other dog is named Pink Dog. And Jiggy passed away right?

44:47

Like a decade ago yes. Okay sad. Yeah

44:50

yeah yeah. I'm a P.J. So

44:53

that was fun. That was interesting to see cameo.

44:56

And then, yeah, so backing up there when I did go

44:58

to a party, I hung up my friend who's making a game, who works

45:00

for a developer called

45:02

Fun Dogs.

45:03

They invited me to go to the CIA party because

45:05

they're wrapped by CIA games. And I went

45:08

and it was super fun. Was it fly trap? I

45:10

go there. It's very packed. I'm having a great

45:12

time. It's nice to meet the team. I

45:14

saw the game and

45:17

went out for a cocktail. And I'm doing the thing where I'm

45:19

like, I'm gonna what's charging 700 bucks.

45:22

That's it I

45:28

think we should get him to do one a week and then have

45:30

a whole podcast So just write lines for him sure

45:33

say every week until after two hours. It's a whole

45:35

podcast with us. You can get Danielle

45:38

a panda Baker from the flash Oh,

45:42

she's currently unavailable with the main screen shorter for

45:46

$74 yeah, I Mean

45:50

that's what you said that well I

45:52

would assume that if you're a person who's honest like

45:54

a CW show you probably be charging in the hundreds of me

45:56

was it's you know how much you want to I mean

45:59

how much you want to you know I forget how I guess

46:01

you do ten you make a grand right roughly you

46:03

know twelve fifteen a grand how much

46:05

would you charge? Any day it's

46:06

a great question Tim how much order church I'd

46:09

have to think long and hard about it Because

46:11

I want to make sure that it's it's a good value

46:13

Oscar from the office is on here for 350

46:15

What? I charge like can

46:17

you look at Lisa Vander pump? Yeah, I see how much the pump

46:20

is Welcome

46:23

I mean I call her that she

46:25

is on she's currently unavailable so I can

46:28

hear prices You have

46:29

to get her in a certain window, I guess. Yeah. Well, she probably

46:31

is like I get she probably I mean the second She turns out on she put

46:34

like 2,000 people wanting her to do that That's

46:37

how much you think D Rock from the yin-yang twins

46:40

run. Damn it. He's a follow-to. What

46:42

the fuck? Tell me who's available. Is there a filter you can

46:44

put on that says people that are probably I don't know I'm

46:46

cutting the brow section right now new and noteworthy

46:49

with that. Yeah, let's do new no, okay Hold on Brian Cox $750

46:51

that actually now that seems like a lot of money It's

46:54

a lot of money. Now you're doing that thing where it's

46:56

like you're asking how much I can charge for this like

46:59

now I'm in that range of people and I'm like I don't know

47:01

who the fuck you are. Scroll, scroll. See if like Tom

47:03

Wellington's on there or... Cole

47:06

Barnett

47:07

from Netflix's Love is Blind.

47:09

Okay. How much do you think he is?

47:12

Two hundred. Sixty bucks. He

47:15

got the guy with the rose that you like, the bachelorette

47:17

guy, I think. God, the rose that

47:19

I like, the bachelorette guy. Fuck. He

47:22

got that

47:23

guy, no? host? Isn't there a host? The bachelor? Oh, Chris

47:25

Harrison, the canceled host. Now, maybe

47:27

not that guy then. I mean, he might be. He

47:29

was a survivor guy. Now we're just in WWE.

47:36

All right. Okay. That seems like,

47:39

you know, cause I can, I can watch that money. Doesn't go to them. That

47:41

straight up has to go straight to Vince McMahon's pocket.

47:44

Well, now it's not straight anymore. It's to

47:47

WWE thing that gets this to that, but

47:49

then he still owns a majority share is trying to sell

47:51

it or whatever.

47:53

Jason Ayers referee. How much do you think He's charging the

47:56

blonde guy. Yeah. Yeah, not

47:58

Robinson. younger blonde guy

48:00

got it. Oh, I don't know then $75 $55. Okay.

48:05

These don't seem like they're

48:07

why you guys if you did like 20 and they're just

48:10

messaging what it's like the thing Kevin

48:12

from the office like is a gajillionaire off

48:14

of it. What's his name? Andy. What's Kevin's name from

48:16

the office Brian Bumgarner?

48:18

I

48:21

appreciate Kevin just being like it's yeah, he's $200

48:23

Kevin from the office

48:26

is 200 bucks. Yeah, he made over a million

48:28

dollars. I'm not getting out of bed for anything.

48:30

Tim, I'm thinking we should all sign up right now. What are

48:32

we doing? Why are we wasting our time here? It's just

48:35

a lot.

48:35

It's just a lot to

48:38

figure out. Yeah, we don't need to add more work. Well, first

48:40

off, here's why, really. Because

48:43

Greg and Tim, you guys will get a lot

48:46

and you'll have to add that to your already busy schedule.

48:49

And then I'll get none.

48:50

And it'll make me feel real bad about myself. It's so

48:52

funny. I think I flipped. I'm in,

48:55

we should do it. I love it. Like, heaven

48:57

will get one more than me per week And I will be like,

48:59

I need to quit this career. I

49:02

would get way more cameo. I love the idea

49:04

of like, can we offer Nick for like 50% less?

49:08

Here's where we're going to pivot from what we're

49:11

talking about to something more important. All right. Christina

49:13

Brown is on here. She's, of course,

49:16

one of the sister wives.

49:18

You know the sister wives? These are probably parents. TLC.

49:21

Is that Moisey Mormon? Yeah. They were

49:23

all dated. There's been a lot of drama with sister

49:25

wives that I haven't kept up with. But I know that there's

49:27

drama. She's $55 and her

49:29

says we need all the support and love. Like what

49:32

is going on with the sister wives? Someone

49:34

tell me,

49:35

I'm looking over here, Madeline Stanley, what

49:38

is going on with the sister wives? That

49:40

is your new job, get it from me,

49:43

let me know. Fran Drescher is $750, she's

49:45

more than Brian Cox.

49:47

That's wild. She's fucking the trash

49:49

dude. The trash, get

49:51

trashed everybody. Wake up with a boy to get dressed.

49:53

They have samples in here, let's see what the sample is

49:56

from Fran.

49:57

Hi, it's me Fran Druscher, the founder of

49:59

the Can-

49:59

Thanks for

50:02

sending me that cameo friend. You know what

50:04

I mean? She's the You know of the cancer trans you rip her off.

50:07

Now I don't know why people aren't doing this. You know what I mean? I can

50:09

rip Ripping brand dresser off.

50:10

Like faking cameos. Right

50:13

there. Fran didn't say, Hey, Tim,

50:15

Hey, Nick, she just went into her whole soliloquy.

50:17

And

50:18

now you can just take it away. That used

50:20

to look right. She can't even do it in the nanny

50:22

voice. I'm sure. Let's go back. She will eventually.

50:24

I'm sure. In the nanny way.

50:27

You

50:30

may know me as the nanny, but we're

50:32

trying to raise money for my nonprofit.

50:34

And what we do is start

50:37

revolutionizing the way we think.

50:40

About our health. Did

50:42

you notice that France, it sounded like she was making

50:44

it up. We're raising money for my nonprofit.

50:47

I'm not gonna say that. You shit. I

50:51

was getting her confused with Janice. Janice was the friend.

50:54

Janice

50:55

was the friend. Janice was the friend. Janice was similar, I

50:57

get

50:57

it. She does a friend

51:00

you never watched friends Man

51:05

one day you're gonna go Well

51:07

Greg still listening to this 90 minute I was hoping

51:10

she was gonna be and do whatever the catchphrase from

51:12

the nannies I don't fucking know Simon

51:17

what's the nannies catchphrase?

51:20

Hello, I'm the nanny What's

51:23

the nanny? What's the nanny? Let's start there.

51:26

The nanny. I think we had a British version.

51:28

Is

51:28

it just like this? Is it like a

51:30

reality show? No. No? Okay.

51:33

That show you are talking about is excellent.

51:36

My thing is Supernanny. That same British lady, I believe. That's

51:39

the one who would be, it would be like a bar rescue,

51:41

but for like

51:43

houses that are totally fucked up and a nanny

51:45

would go over. I think it was called Supernanny. Yeah, Supernanny.

51:47

Yeah, yeah, I remember that. I remember that.

51:49

That's what I was thinking of. I don't know what this is. I

51:51

was just sitting here thinking no one even... There

51:54

we go. That's not who I was

51:56

thinking of. whole thing. The complete series

51:59

where is this available? I would watch it. This

52:01

looks like a oh, no way clear

52:03

comes Madeleine Stanley says, okay. Here's the

52:05

sister wives update He's only still

52:07

married to one of them and the one

52:11

He's still anywhere to one what

52:13

a funny way to say that he is still

52:15

married to one of them period the one Robin

52:19

He's only married

52:22

to Robin also combined the two sentences

52:24

in a one that's fair. That's fair.

52:27

Here's where it gets interesting. Thank you. Madeline.

52:30

Madeline. I'm going to read your question that you sent in

52:32

here

52:32

and we will read that question. He is very guys. Interesting.

52:35

You sat through the rest of the boring. All right. There's

52:38

a section here called $50 or less.

52:40

I do. I just want someone to call me on here. There's

52:43

just a kid brick. Do

52:47

it. He describes himself. Fucking

52:50

doing brick. It is a tick TikTok

52:53

star is his perfection. And then

52:55

his description is I make TikToks. Lowell.

52:58

Greg, here's what I need.

53:01

Get it. Fucking get it. And

53:03

like, I want you to just ask him to

53:05

be like, Hey man, shape is like, what's your

53:08

favorite shape? Brick. Also,

53:11

put another one in for $3 and say,

53:13

brick, who are you? Describe to us who you

53:15

call. Before we commit to brick, let me look through

53:17

houses on this. Who's better than brick. Who he

53:20

thinks he'd be better than bread. They got that guy who does the

53:23

Peter Griffin impressions at the thing.

53:25

Yeah, he's at what he looks like Peter Griffin. He's like, all right,

53:27

IRL Peter Griffin.

53:28

Um,

53:30

Tays on days on here for $35. I

53:34

think I'm on his phone. Chocolate rank. Oh, we won't

53:36

do that then. What? It's cool.

53:38

Um,

53:42

This is good. Everybody stick

53:44

with me for a second. Chance. The rapper

53:47

is on here. Okay. For $4

53:49

and 99 cents. No, but it's chance.

53:52

W R

53:54

a B P R 87. He's just some white

53:56

kid. Oh, I mean that's

53:58

the original chance throughout. That probably is.

53:59

That's why he put all that on there. He's by the way, he's making

54:02

it his namesake. I'm looking through here.

54:04

Who else we can play sports? What do we think? Brick's favorite

54:06

shape is no, it's probably brick. You're right. Brick. That's

54:09

the thing. Yeah.

54:11

Like Will he go with John Roberts is on here.

54:14

I hope he says long cube long

54:16

cube quite square. He's

54:19

only $2 and just says I'll

54:21

literally say anything. Wow.

54:23

That's for $2. Yeah

54:25

for $2. They'll say anything in PewDiePie. Get in trouble for

54:27

that one. Yes. Yeah. Yes. is

54:30

scrolling. I'm seeing if there's anybody else in here that's even

54:33

living up to bricks. No, no, bricks

54:35

got it. Will you reply within half

54:37

an hour though? Will we get it? That's a great

54:39

question. All right, hold on. So let's, I've never booked a

54:41

cameo before, right? So it's for me. Okay. Introduce

54:44

yourself. Is Chris Hansen on there? Is that the catch a predator

54:46

guy? Yeah.

54:47

That'd be a fun one. Which

54:50

I got, I got him for Nick's birthday. Yeah.

54:53

We did that. Oh, that's right. Wait,

54:56

when was that this year? No, no, that

54:58

was 2019, I think. Oh,

55:00

shit. That's funny. Or 2020 right

55:02

before your birthday or like right before

55:04

pandemic. It was 20. Oh, that

55:06

was a. I got Joey Fatone as well for you. And

55:09

I had him say that

55:10

like, Hey, Nick, why do you all? Why have you

55:12

been saying that I was 30 years old when I first joined

55:15

in sync? I

55:17

got it.

55:19

That's so great.

55:21

I'm getting old to the point that

55:24

I forget things that

55:26

have happened. Yeah. Like 10 years

55:28

ago, like we'll be like, I know

55:31

we talk a lot in the shows and stuff and it's like, okay,

55:33

cool. Like I forgot that we, we told the story

55:35

or whatever, but like

55:36

that cameo thing, like that happened. I

55:39

should have remembered without prompting

55:41

that Chris Hanson and freaking,

55:44

uh, uh, Joy Maloney were

55:47

Joy for Tony. Same thing. Gentle Maloney,

55:49

Joy Mafetoni, same thing. We're

55:52

on this. Hold on, I'm sorry to stop you. We want

55:54

to try to respond before we go off the air. Yes. I

55:56

need to send this in. to send like an emoji

55:58

thing of like what it means.

55:59

said the excitement is real. I don't know why it makes me

56:02

do that. And then I said, I'm going to ask your question.

56:04

My pronouns are he him. And then the question you

56:06

can add notes. We need to know what your favorite

56:08

shape is for the kind of funny podcast. We all agree. Yeah.

56:11

And then I can attach a 20 second

56:13

video. So I'm going to make that real quick.

56:16

Matthew, your dog on the chest is hot. Leave it's Nick to figure

56:18

out all that. A couple of things happen in the,

56:20

in between those Matt,

56:22

little brick, brick. It's me,

56:24

Greg Miller. We're live on the kind of funny podcast,

56:26

youtube.com slash kind of funny. We

56:28

were looking through cameo to figure it all out and we

56:30

saw you and so we need to know what your favorite

56:33

shape is I don't think I can tip

56:35

you but if I can and you can respond on the next 10 minutes

56:37

with what your favorite shape is And then also say

56:39

hey, my name is brick the tick tock superstar and

56:42

you're listening to the kind of funny pie I cut off Good

56:46

enough we're sending it we're sending it brick. Oh,

56:48

yeah. Oh, we didn't specify 2d geometric

56:51

Yeah, we fucking have

56:52

yeah, but I think people comes back with fear. That's

56:54

his problem. Yeah, that's a circle Oh,

56:57

here's where they get you standard is three

56:59

bucks

57:00

two to seven days 24 hours or less 499 I'll

57:03

give him the 49 again give him ten but about one

57:05

hour. What else is brick doing right now?

57:07

I mean honestly brick looks like he's in

57:09

school Brick is a child. That's

57:12

what bricks probably doing You

57:15

gotta be a Lego influencer if that's your name oh

57:18

Oh, damn, that's smart. That is good.

57:20

I don't know what I expected from this, but this wasn't

57:23

it. Nobody expected this. You know, the

57:25

thing is, I didn't expect

57:27

this either, but also, I should have. I was

57:29

worried you'd ask me to tell the story.

57:31

I'm not a good storyteller. I don't have stories.

57:34

Team up, Nick. No, don't. Tell me your

57:36

worst Lucy James story.

57:39

I

57:41

don't think I want to do that to her. Damn. Dude,

57:44

remember? She's got 70,000 followers

57:47

plus. I mean, you have the

57:49

seven. You have seven. Simon, tell

57:51

everyone the funniest time you made someone cry.

57:54

Time I made someone cry. Oh,

57:58

I made it my old job. Bye. to

58:00

work in sports like YouTube production

58:02

like working with like the England cricket

58:04

team the Olympics things like that we did like some of

58:06

their YouTube content I use the word

58:09

content I hate that but there

58:11

we go. It's a great word that's the only word you can use to describe what we do.

58:13

One time it was interviewing Steven Fry because

58:16

he loves cricket. Yeah everyone loves Steven Fry

58:18

as well.

58:19

And he let me tell you he loves cricket

58:22

like loves it to a point where we were showing

58:25

him a clip of a cricket match which is like a big moment

58:27

like an emotional moment. He knew what it was. He

58:29

was watching it back and he was actively

58:31

bawling his eyes out. Wow. That video is online.

58:34

It's a great video. It's touching. But yeah, I would

58:36

say, yeah, made Stephen Fry cry. That

58:38

was,

58:38

that was like my best work story until I joined IGN.

58:41

That was a good one. Hell yeah, dude. That's really

58:43

cool. And since IGN, you've had a lot of

58:46

really, really cool things happen. I want to ask you, I

58:48

want to put you on the spot here. It's going to be easy tee

58:50

up because Nick is not too familiar

58:53

with your work. But I feel like you've done

58:55

some, IGN.com reviews movies and video games and

58:57

stuff. But you make

58:59

him very proud, some of the things you've

59:02

done. What are some of the cooler things you've done

59:04

at IGN that would make Niko- There's only one place to

59:06

start, isn't there? Yeah. I auditioned

59:08

to be James Bond. Nice. I

59:10

don't know if you've seen this video. Yes, yeah. I did not.

59:13

I travel, so it's

59:14

just for no time tonight. It's when they're announcing the cast.

59:17

Now, like, do you want to go to Jamaica for a day

59:20

to interview the cast? Yeah, I was like, yeah, I'll do

59:22

that, yeah. So I had all these questions, like I didn't

59:24

even know who the cast was at that point. They hadn't revealed Anadolmas.

59:27

I wasn't gonna know I was gonna meet her in like,

59:29

I don't know, 95 degree heat sweating

59:32

completely on a Jamaican beach.

59:35

And then I had all these questions to ask about no time

59:37

to die like the future of the franchise. Where's it going? I

59:39

get there and I'm like, Oh, you can't ask anything about

59:41

the film, like the plot, anything. Yeah,

59:43

I was like, why I need a plan B. And I just so happened

59:45

to have on my phone, something we shot like

59:48

three months earlier, which is me doing the

59:50

bond intro through like a toilet roll

59:52

tube and using like a plus, oh

59:54

God, we found the video. You need audio for it to, here it is.

59:57

Yeah. This is great. Look at

59:59

that! And then I showed it to all

1:00:01

these people the whole cast of producers, and

1:00:04

I think they're on board Can

1:00:07

we listen with sound at all Kevin or you think what you claimed and

1:00:09

like well? I can't call pair if I call pair up

1:00:12

No calling pair won't make it okay

1:00:15

probably fine with it If

1:00:17

you want to call pair cuz it's been a while

1:00:19

you're welcome to great call brick call

1:00:22

brick I'm waiting on bricks. We're gonna give his ass back

1:00:24

to us this.

1:00:25

God, we're calling pear Schneider right now.

1:00:28

You Simon's full name. So he knows this

1:00:30

is a possibility. Is

1:00:34

a possibility to get fired for this. Oh, this

1:00:36

is great. I hate parrots. Greg,

1:00:38

you're on the kind of funny podcast. How are you?

1:00:40

Yeah, I'm good. What's

1:00:41

happening? So well, no,

1:00:43

no, number one, I just need to report cause you

1:00:46

know, I could never lie to you that Simon

1:00:48

Carty told pair. He told

1:00:50

Jeff Keeley that he was the GM of IGN.

1:00:53

And I want that on his record. You

1:00:55

can figure that out. Then now on the

1:00:57

show, we're about to watch Simon Carti's

1:00:59

James Bond impression when he showed it to all the people from

1:01:02

James Bond, the movie. And I need

1:01:04

to ask you to turn off the like, don't monitor,

1:01:06

you know, don't, don't copyright strike us. Don't claim

1:01:09

us. Don't do that. Okay.

1:01:12

If you could walk over to the claim desk

1:01:14

and say, yo, this one's cool. It's fine. I'm

1:01:16

so sorry. I feel like there's a trade here

1:01:18

we could do. Like, what's your

1:01:20

top view video welcome back oh

1:01:23

love sex and stuff which one is it horrible

1:01:25

like how to kiss I think how to kiss

1:01:27

you can have the how to kiss love sex and stuff sure fine

1:01:31

thank you pair thank you is a good negotiation

1:01:34

I'm sorry hold on hold on

1:01:37

Simon's trying to apologize here yes I'm

1:01:39

very sorry and I love my job

1:01:41

Simon card

1:01:45

he's over in the UK he's one of those people apparently

1:01:47

I don't know Is

1:01:51

he the English one? The

1:01:52

one, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. He

1:01:54

keeps saying, I reviewed the last of us. I reviewed the last

1:01:57

of us. like the game and he's like no no the show

1:01:59

and I'm like oh

1:01:59

Well, we're everybody did that. That's easy. I'm

1:02:02

known to brag. I remember him. Okay.

1:02:04

He's a favorite of mine. Ah All

1:02:07

right, thank you so much. We love you.

1:02:09

All right. Bye. That sounded like a

1:02:11

lie didn't That

1:02:15

was legit genuine He

1:02:17

likes that's good. But yeah this video

1:02:20

place him sound I've never I want to do the reactions I've never

1:02:22

been more nervous in my life. I

1:02:24

mean

1:02:26

But now I can do like any junket, any into it. I'm fine.

1:02:29

Oh yeah. Coming through. Um,

1:02:31

Um, the

1:02:34

movie campfire designs who does most of our merch

1:02:36

now, uh, responds. It goes, this

1:02:38

podcast following last week's is absolute

1:02:40

gold. What we do here. It's such

1:02:42

a total. The other thing we

1:02:45

do need if you're an audio listener or you just haven't

1:02:47

been watching a live check as you're doing it later, it, we've

1:02:49

got Cody Hagler and Melissa Hagler

1:02:51

did pop up but

1:02:52

they popped up if you ask me kind of

1:02:54

suspiciously where the comment was made and then

1:02:56

Cody Hagler suddenly resurfaced and then guess

1:02:59

what so did Melissa and they're like they're texting

1:03:01

they're like commenting at the same time exactly

1:03:03

Cody took over Melissa's phone after

1:03:06

her body died okay Melissa

1:03:08

says coming in late after there's a wild ride

1:03:10

like okay Melissa

1:03:12

you are in fact still alive please blink twice

1:03:16

because we think that Cody may have very much for your

1:03:18

support and subscribing. Here's

1:03:20

what I'll say is there's no possible way he could be running

1:03:22

two

1:03:22

keyboards and have the same thing. So on the

1:03:24

count of, well, I'm gonna go one, two, and then you

1:03:27

guys need to hit three together and we'll see him in the chat,

1:03:29

all right? One, two,

1:03:31

and there's gonna be delay. Yeah,

1:03:33

there's gonna be delay. But watch it, and

1:03:35

I need to see three back to back immediately

1:03:37

and they'll know, oh, there's no way Cody

1:03:40

was doing this thing, you know what I mean? There's

1:03:42

Melissa, say, ah, it wasn't as fast

1:03:44

as I wanted. Back to the mat. That's pretty fucking

1:03:47

good. That's pretty damn good. I

1:03:49

thought it was gonna be way more off than that. I

1:03:52

hate watching myself. Usually I'm like

1:03:54

audio listeners, whenever we mess up and

1:03:56

we're showing a lot of visual stuff, audio listeners

1:03:58

get mad. This is stuff that...

1:03:59

Not even video people can see.

1:04:02

No, no. Surprise, surprise.

1:04:05

The most important people are the ones on Patreon

1:04:07

in the live chat, all right? You want that kind

1:04:09

of service? You want us to talk about you maybe

1:04:11

murdering your wife? Show up if you want

1:04:13

that kind of service.

1:04:17

You could be in Simon Carty's one

1:04:19

day. That's his... Simon Carty's

1:04:22

chair one day. You could be in the car. Simon

1:04:24

Carty's got to be in... Yeah. You could

1:04:26

wear an image. Whatever Simon... Whatever

1:04:29

application. You can buff a little bit of time

1:04:31

and party if you want to. There you

1:04:33

go. Alright, let's watch this video. Just

1:04:36

watch the whole thing. Maybe

1:04:38

it went James Bond. It's only two minutes.

1:04:42

I hate watching a girl. It's

1:04:44

yours. He

1:04:47

was into it. It's really classy.

1:04:49

Really classy. We might have to stick... Is

1:04:52

that a toilet roll? No. That's

1:04:56

what they use in the real films. It's their toilet roll. Yeah.

1:04:59

They just stole a no idea.

1:05:00

Bang! Bang was

1:05:01

great. Yeah. Bang

1:05:04

was great. Yes! I've got nothing to

1:05:06

say. I think that's quite brilliant. I think what

1:05:08

really else does the way I say bang as I shoot the gun, I think. I've

1:05:10

done that. Bang! Bang! Bang!

1:05:14

Did you see that? That's dynamite. I fucking

1:05:16

love you, dude. I love you. I love

1:05:18

you. I love you. I love

1:05:21

you. I love you. I love you. I

1:05:23

love you. I love you. Dude,

1:05:26

that has only got 30,000 views. Boo.

1:05:29

I'm gonna ask a question. I can't believe I traded away love sex

1:05:31

and stuff out of kids from there. I'm

1:05:33

gonna ask you a question right now. It's a serious question. I

1:05:36

need you to take it seriously. Have

1:05:38

you thought about doing standup comedy? I

1:05:42

like sitting down too much.

1:05:43

That is so funny. Come on,

1:05:46

come on. That

1:05:48

is so funny. This is what I get

1:05:50

for being serious on this fucking show.

1:05:52

No, I don't. Whatever's serious. I don't really,

1:05:55

I never liked dramas. I don't like being in front

1:05:57

of live crowds as much. More you've

1:05:59

been there. Love yall.

1:05:59

I'm like live podcasts. I was gonna say, you guys do the IGN

1:06:02

podcast live. Yeah, we've done that live every now and then. But

1:06:05

I don't know. I don't think I'm,

1:06:07

I don't think I have the jokes. I don't know.

1:06:10

I don't know. I've not really thought about

1:06:12

it. You know what I did this

1:06:14

weekend. We have very good timing. Yeah.

1:06:16

I rewatched our entire comedy

1:06:19

special from RTX. The second

1:06:21

one that we did? Yeah. The one with Alana and something? Yeah.

1:06:23

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Which everyone can watch right now. YouTube.com.

1:06:26

First time doing stand up. Very successful. We have

1:06:28

two videos. both called first time doing stand up.

1:06:30

Different groups. Different groups. So it's not click

1:06:33

bait. It's accurate.

1:06:35

It's accurate. Some people have done

1:06:37

it. Yeah, I mean, I'm the crossover and I'm hosting. So

1:06:39

I want people to know. There's a lot of people. It's not like first time

1:06:41

doing stand up. There's a lot of first time people doing stand

1:06:43

up. If you go back and watch it, that I was so

1:06:45

bad back then, it looked like my first time. I am so

1:06:48

impressed with everybody.

1:06:50

Like being away from it. Cause like when we were

1:06:52

in the moment leading up to it, I got to hear a lot of people

1:06:55

like practicing and sets and whatever people got. And

1:06:57

it became so familiar. And then watching

1:07:00

us all do it, I was like, I texted Kevin.

1:07:02

I was like, holy shit, dude, you were funny

1:07:04

as shit.

1:07:05

It was watching Andy, like God damn.

1:07:08

Like we know that kid's funny, but like that shit

1:07:10

was funny as hell. And

1:07:12

Greg, you weren't in that one. You would have been good, but

1:07:15

you weren't. I was good the first time I did it. Yeah, but

1:07:17

that wasn't the one I watched. So I don't want, I

1:07:19

would give you props, but I can't hear, but

1:07:22

it was so good all the way through.

1:07:25

Everyone having their own brand of humor. I would

1:07:27

love to see you do your thing. I don't know.

1:07:30

The bit after that is where I talked to Barbara Broccoli and she

1:07:32

wasn't in on the joke. She didn't really get, she was not

1:07:34

very happy. Is Barbara

1:07:35

Broccoli kind of serious? Very,

1:07:37

she was overly like, we stopped for that bit. The

1:07:39

Broccoli seemed like they were like, they don't fuck around. No,

1:07:42

no, she was like, The name's Bone. Have you ever?

1:07:44

For those that don't

1:07:47

know, who is Barbara Broccoli? She's like,

1:07:49

Air of the Broccoli fortune. Producer of the Bond films,

1:07:51

basically, oh no. Nothing gets made about

1:07:54

her. Barbara Broccoli is the daughter of

1:07:56

Albert Broccoli And who was it when

1:07:58

the people that partner with Harry's

1:07:59

It's probably better to just watch it and explain

1:08:02

what happened in it. Sure. But here we go.

1:08:04

Who's the guy on the right?

1:08:05

That's the other producers. That's

1:08:08

Edgar Eglian. OK,

1:08:11

this is awesome. Where have you been

1:08:13

hiding? I mean, this

1:08:16

is she was never seen anyone do this. She's

1:08:19

the extent of it. This is the

1:08:21

gun barrel. I'm probably me as I'm

1:08:23

afraid of dialogue. You're not good with dialogue.

1:08:25

So maybe I can just do that. Romance.

1:08:28

I reckon I could do that.

1:08:28

The romance action. I'll

1:08:31

give it a go. I've never had anyone. I

1:08:33

feel like she's giving you gold right there. So you just

1:08:35

showed them this and that was it? That's

1:08:37

all the question I have for them, really. I had like, you

1:08:39

have five minutes, but like

1:08:41

what makes that even more awkward is the person before me.

1:08:43

It was like the week after Roger Moore

1:08:45

had died and the person just before me had done

1:08:47

like a four, five minute, like really emotional. I

1:08:50

was listening outside like, what did he mean to

1:08:52

you? And they were like, he was just like, you know, he was

1:08:54

a treasure. So kind to be around. and I walk in and go,

1:08:56

what'd

1:08:57

you think of this? What

1:08:59

did you think of it? I mean, it's hilarious

1:09:01

though. I made this video. Check out this thing I made. It's

1:09:04

fucking hilarious. And you know, I think it's probably more

1:09:06

fun than what most people just say. What's it like to

1:09:08

be James Bond?

1:09:09

From what I've heard from people is

1:09:12

they don't love doing those junkets because you get asked

1:09:14

the same 10 questions over and over again for like three

1:09:16

days. I like to do something fun. Yeah, I

1:09:18

think it's good that you mix it up. Not just say,

1:09:21

what

1:09:21

was it like making a film? Yeah.

1:09:24

What's it like, hey Daniel Craig, Please lie to me

1:09:26

and tell me that you loved doing this for the 19th time,

1:09:28

even though they had to throw money at you to get back.

1:09:31

I wanted to do it for the later, for Glass Onion, just go

1:09:33

and audition to be Benoit Blanc to him, see if

1:09:35

he'd recognize me. You should absolutely do that. I

1:09:38

love that. And just do the exact same thing every time. Every

1:09:40

time. Yeah. I always do that. I

1:09:42

always do that. This is what I do, this is my thing. Just

1:09:44

go dressed in the Benoit Blanc, like Sir Sucker

1:09:47

with the hat, or the onesie that he wore

1:09:49

into the pool,

1:09:50

and just recreate one of those. I'll help you, this'll

1:09:52

be fun. Yeah, we can do that. We can do that later. I

1:09:55

want to take this completely

1:09:58

right turn here. Take the card at the other side. All right. And

1:10:00

you go on the right side. I want you to drive on the left

1:10:02

side of the river I want to

1:10:04

know because earlier this episode you

1:10:07

teased that you have other succession impressions

1:10:11

You have any ready? I know I am putting

1:10:13

you on the spot like I do with fucking interview

1:10:15

music, but like

1:10:17

Who off the top? I don't want you to have to think

1:10:19

about or anything like who can you do right?

1:10:21

Jesus fucking Christ? Go

1:10:24

back down. I want you doctor. I'm a happening me I just

1:10:26

like that pig right super fast. Yeah. Close

1:10:29

your eyes and just listen to the scene. Okay. Okay.

1:10:33

Hey guys, so, uh, you know, there's a lot of, uh,

1:10:35

fucking, you know, crypto. Crypto

1:10:37

fucking fascist people here

1:10:39

and, uh, yeah, I don't want to fucking be a part

1:10:42

of it. Uh, well, can,

1:10:44

you know, one thing that we could do is

1:10:47

you and shift could maybe come

1:10:50

by later. Uh, Yeah, you know

1:10:52

how you know if she just does

1:10:54

come by later, you know, she could maybe

1:10:56

possibly be a part of

1:10:58

Be a part of the thing

1:11:00

that we know the party we were gonna hang out. Oh fuck

1:11:02

off God damn

1:11:05

Andy. That was incredible

1:11:07

because I promise you all I did not

1:11:09

prep him on that. He just went into it What

1:11:14

five characters Yeah,

1:11:17

I

1:11:18

mean you so much to show it was one of those where

1:11:20

everyone started I'm like that could be owned that suit

1:11:22

is yes hundred percent. Which one was

1:11:24

the care? You can't colkins character

1:11:27

No, I didn't he wasn't in there. Can you do

1:11:29

that? Can you do that? I did it earlier on that for you have

1:11:31

to go watch our succession screencast

1:11:34

to see a Rory impression Orico

1:11:36

can cuz uh,

1:11:37

yeah, wait here in Colkin

1:11:40

Roman Roman on the show Romulus

1:11:44

and Romulus and Greg did an

1:11:46

amazing Roman impression So

1:11:50

why

1:11:50

need the prop can I get the the succession

1:11:52

background you've you've got the hair too correct

1:11:59

John Wick and then... I can't

1:12:02

let them go. I just need to break the block. You're

1:12:04

a little cock cobbler, aren't you Greg? All

1:12:06

right,

1:12:07

we're back. All right, no,

1:12:09

go watch this discussion content then. That's how

1:12:11

you do it. That's fine. I promise Madeline Stanley

1:12:13

we would read her question. She wrote in, of course,

1:12:15

like you can for free to conifunna.com

1:12:18

slash KF podcast. Madeline's

1:12:21

question is, if a song played every time

1:12:23

you walked into a room, what song would it be?

1:12:26

Tim? Oh, man. Oh

1:12:28

man, you can't start with me. I

1:12:30

have to think about that for at least. I thought you had

1:12:33

one off the top. Oh, I mean, there's a lot. There's

1:12:35

a lot of good stuff there, but uh.

1:12:38

Oh fine, it's Simon Cartney. Oh,

1:12:41

who let the dogs out? Nailed it, crushed

1:12:43

it, loved it. Easy. It's up there. Done. I'm

1:12:47

taking it back, real American, the whole coconut tree's

1:12:49

just interesting. Oh yeah, take that back. Oh,

1:12:51

you mean you're not, you don't mean I'm going back in time.

1:12:53

You mean I'm taking that back. Yeah, I'm taking that back. I can reclaim

1:12:55

it. Another good guy's going to have it. Yeah, that's good. Yeah,

1:12:57

that's what do you got? It's gonna be me

1:13:00

by in sync. Yes gonna be me.

1:13:02

That's my new walk-on music now comms

1:13:04

Oh, yeah, it comes here. Nice. Does it

1:13:06

start with that part or is it like section of the

1:13:08

song? It's gonna be me

1:13:11

Right the final

1:13:13

part Yeah,

1:13:16

just know that I'm cool and I'm down and I

1:13:18

get contemporary music I'm

1:13:20

gonna go with the song Mr. Jones by

1:13:22

Mike Jones. Not his... Not

1:13:24

that. Not that. Not

1:13:29

the hit, like back then, of course, back

1:13:31

then they didn't want me to apply. They all on

1:13:33

me. Not that. Mr.

1:13:35

Jones was the second single that

1:13:37

did not get nearly enough love, because it was like

1:13:40

such a fucking heartbeat. And I've

1:13:42

been trying for years, literally

1:13:45

decades at this point, to turn

1:13:47

it into the Tim Getty's theme song. I

1:13:49

haven't been able to craft the code, but I'm working with Carter

1:13:51

Harrell on it and I think we might get it done

1:13:54

at some point. Wow.

1:13:55

Yeah.

1:13:56

Too much power. Yeah. Andy, what would

1:13:58

your intro music be when you walk into a room?

1:14:02

Tom Sawyer by Rush. Ooh.

1:14:04

Good song. Great song. Good

1:14:07

band. Great Canadian band. When

1:14:09

do you come out? Are you letting me get the lyrics or you're still

1:14:11

like coming out of the room? Modern day

1:14:13

warrior, me means drive, today's

1:14:16

Tom Sawyer, me means pride.

1:14:18

It's a long one. Andy,

1:14:22

I want to let you know that I've been chilling

1:14:24

a lot this weekend because I've been home alone. Boom-boom

1:14:28

and I'm like what am I doing my

1:14:30

time? I can do whatever the fuck I

1:14:31

want So I'm like you're like and I'm gonna watch

1:14:34

the stand-up special. I did that I

1:14:36

did that it was great I while playing games on

1:14:38

my switch, huh portable. It's fantastic. But

1:14:41

going to bed I was like I want to listen to an album just

1:14:44

front to back. I just like really

1:14:46

engrossed myself That's what I'm doing. Co

1:14:48

eating Cambria. I was like Andy's talked

1:14:50

about this forever I want to start and I did

1:14:53

a little Google searching like where to start like

1:14:55

how to get the beginning of the story or whatever What

1:14:57

a great time but

1:14:58

a fun little time did you smoke

1:15:00

a little roofie little doobie? No room

1:15:03

roofies no doobies No,

1:15:10

no

1:15:14

Saying

1:15:18

a little co-heat to bend this weekend. Yeah Yeah,

1:15:23

it is Remember when I interviewed him

1:15:25

on Up at Noon? Yeah, I do. Claudio,

1:15:28

good girl. I think you're an unborn child. I

1:15:30

was like, no. I didn't do that on Up at Noon. Just

1:15:33

there talking to my balls. Wendy,

1:15:35

you're going to be taller than Nick. Separate,

1:15:38

but related to me, this

1:15:41

is probably offensive to you, Andy. I'm sorry. But

1:15:44

I think of the darkness.

1:15:49

I believe in a thing called love. And

1:15:53

like, it's a little weird there,

1:15:55

right? But like, there's a connection. I

1:15:57

love that one song. I don't know anything about them

1:15:59

other ones.

1:15:59

But it's now

1:16:02

in a Panda Express commercial. And

1:16:04

I've never seen a Panda Express commercial, period.

1:16:07

So I think this might be their first marketing push.

1:16:10

And they're using, I believe in a thing called Love, after

1:16:12

they're like, which is such a good song.

1:16:15

But it's not the darkness.

1:16:18

It's a cover. And it's like

1:16:20

weird, because the cover doesn't sound

1:16:23

bad,

1:16:24

but like the lyrics

1:16:26

are the same, but it sounds off

1:16:28

enough that it feels like It should be about orange

1:16:30

chicken, but

1:16:33

it's not. Did you

1:16:35

get what I'm saying? Can I ask you a question that's tangentially

1:16:37

related? It's what you're talking about. Oh, go ahead,

1:16:39

Andy. I was going to say something you might enjoy,

1:16:41

Tim. The singer from the darkness,

1:16:44

you know, I have to Google it real quick. Justin Hawkins

1:16:47

does a lot of TikToks where he reviews

1:16:49

other

1:16:50

songs and musical performances, and

1:16:53

he is such a treat. He

1:16:56

is incredibly witty and funny and

1:16:58

personable and he gets on camera

1:17:00

and just like clicks to a video He'll be like, yeah,

1:17:03

that's not a take I would I would

1:17:05

have kept there Like I would have removed that take

1:17:07

it like he's just like super judgmental about a bunch

1:17:09

of bands But it's really really good stuff. I really

1:17:11

enjoy his tiktoks. Fuck. Yeah, that's

1:17:14

the one thing they did, right?

1:17:16

Hmm,

1:17:16

I believe in the thing called love they were bigger in the UK. They

1:17:19

like headline Everything's

1:17:21

big in the UK. Apparently, you know what I mean? They

1:17:23

only have one music. Yeah, you got a subway and I'm

1:17:25

supposed to act like that's a big deal. You know, it's amazing

1:17:27

I hear McDonald's

1:17:30

Think they're doing all right. I

1:17:32

said he has his YouTube channel, which I think is doing really

1:17:34

well I didn't show that out. That sounds great. Yeah. I

1:17:36

love it my exposure I mean obviously that song

1:17:38

was a huge hit but it was that I was reviewing

1:17:41

sing-star at the IGN office I remember

1:17:43

people walking by like this guy looks like

1:17:45

cliffy be Christmas

1:17:48

song not make over here I

1:17:51

believe in a thing called Christmas. Just listen

1:17:53

to what I said. It's like a big

1:17:55

UK Christmas song. They're

1:17:58

not like,

1:17:59

it's not my blue. Christmas I

1:18:01

gave you my high That one got here That

1:18:03

one got here But higher Much higher

1:18:06

That movie you guys made love actually made it here A lot

1:18:08

of people Yeah it did A lot of British

1:18:11

people That's a fun

1:18:12

one Yeah people like Notting Hill There's like you know People

1:18:14

like Yeah There's a lot of bridges

1:18:16

to about British things again What's up with their

1:18:18

like I understand like you're an island England

1:18:21

you know I mean you're a title of island Why is it like

1:18:23

the same dozen dozen actors

1:18:25

and everything You know Are there

1:18:27

watch a Harry Potter and then watch a doctor who

1:18:30

then watch any of your like, Oh, that's like

1:18:32

the one with the Queen that won people like

1:18:34

that. And hell in there. Yeah. Yeah. That's more than it doesn't.

1:18:36

Oh, the crown. Why are all the best actors

1:18:40

British? I think that's fair to ask.

1:18:42

Cause like, dude, session

1:18:44

didn't end this week and it was like, Oh yeah. I remember everybody

1:18:47

is an American. And here, Greg, it's crazy.

1:18:49

Watching that is definitely the most jarring

1:18:51

thing when you get Tom and

1:18:54

Shiv and they're both like, well, I suppose in this

1:18:56

episode, you know, Well, she's Australian. Yeah,

1:18:58

come on. She's Australian from

1:19:01

Australia It's another small

1:19:03

island with like 12 actors. There's

1:19:05

Shiv and then the voice of blue He's

1:19:09

Scottish. Yeah, the

1:19:10

camera cole kids American, right? Yeah, the kids are I

1:19:18

don't know. I think it's just

1:19:20

is the American is it easier

1:19:22

to do a generic American accent for British accent? Well,

1:19:25

that's for an American what a lot of people say

1:19:27

well for sure because like you guys have like

1:19:29

Yeah, oh you're a British accent and

1:19:31

then you know Lucy like well, I'm Jordy I'm like,

1:19:34

I don't know the fuck you're talking about You know I mean like that's

1:19:36

way too much into Jordan from Star Trek

1:19:38

Do you know a lot of people exactly Andy fucking

1:19:40

he's always right there for me Maybe he's

1:19:43

my little man that I jump on Sometimes

1:19:46

a lot of people said that they grow up watching American

1:19:48

TV. So they practice the accent over and over again That's

1:19:50

fun for them Whereas we'd ever got like, you know,

1:19:52

we don't get a ton of well up until maybe a decade ago

1:19:54

We didn't get a ton of British TV here and now the crown

1:19:57

now these little kids like Ben's gonna grow up named perfect

1:19:59

perfect

1:19:59

We had absolutely fabulous British accent.

1:20:02

I think a lot of people from European countries, they

1:20:04

tend to adapt

1:20:06

more of an American accent when they learn English as well

1:20:08

through film and TV. I remember there's a,

1:20:10

I'm sure you're all familiar with the Bulgarian football at

1:20:12

Dimitar, Berbatov. Of course. Yeah,

1:20:14

when he's learned English by

1:20:16

watching the Godfather films over and over. Yeah.

1:20:20

So yeah, he said cannoli

1:20:22

all the time. Cannoli, yeah, I know. But

1:20:25

yeah. It's all he feels, so it's the only dessert he ever

1:20:27

ordered. You want me to? Yeah, give us an American

1:20:29

accent. Now, your gut's

1:20:31

gonna tell you to go southern

1:20:33

because that's what a lot of people do when they go, I wanna do a stereotype,

1:20:36

well, I do decree. I

1:20:38

want you to give me a southern California, straight

1:20:41

up no accent accent. Let him go along with the

1:20:43

valley girl.

1:20:46

I need something to say, Ian, it's hard when you- You want

1:20:48

me to say something? Okay.

1:20:50

Oh shit,

1:20:52

what's a popular- Let's go to the

1:20:54

market. Yeah, let's go to the market. Ah,

1:20:57

this is- How about we go to the mall? Let's go to the mall.

1:20:59

Let's go to the mall. Let's

1:21:02

go to the mall. Better? You have to say market,

1:21:04

though. Let's go to the market. Let's go to the market. There

1:21:07

it is. There it is. Market. It's hard. Oh,

1:21:10

you know I can't do a British one, so it's like, I'm not going

1:21:12

to try. But you never apply yourself. No, you never

1:21:14

properly try. Chibi-yoo. There

1:21:17

it is. Just fall back on all things. The whole

1:21:19

queen ain't she a problem. Not

1:21:22

anymore. Wow. I'm doing

1:21:24

a period piece. Like, you know, she's so live. I'm

1:21:26

doing it. I've

1:21:29

got one of those little hats on. I'm dirty. We

1:21:34

need a clip out where me and Cardi and bless for playing

1:21:36

Resident

1:21:36

Evil and me and Cardi did a Michael Cane off.

1:21:39

Oh, good stuff. Go check out that. Can I hear your Michael Cane?

1:21:42

I love my Cane impression. My

1:21:44

name is Michael Cane. That's so

1:21:46

good. It should be better. It's cheating though. It should be better

1:21:49

because you're doing a realistic one. You know

1:21:51

what these guys get into the interior. What

1:21:54

is his accent? Like what is his? He's fairly

1:21:56

cockney. Whereas I'm just kind of

1:21:58

like London. I'm not really cockney.

1:21:59

London area like a posh give me that would

1:22:02

you just say with it for him though you said something right before

1:22:04

I interrupted you of a tangerine

1:22:07

You're only supposed to blow the bloody doors

1:22:09

off. That's a bit better. That's better

1:22:12

Andy. I'm sorry, bro

1:22:14

It's got you just got bodied. Well, you

1:22:16

know, I can't do any American better

1:22:18

than you guys Well,

1:22:21

I mean Michael Keynes

1:22:23

always better than Nick's and it'll always well it always

1:22:25

will be Andy because I don't sit in my

1:22:27

room and practice at all, they like you do. You

1:22:30

only practice whenever I do it. I

1:22:33

just love jumping on it. You have to try to one up. It's

1:22:36

not a one up guys, again, for

1:22:38

the 10th time I'm adding to it.

1:22:39

Andy makes the pasta, Alex put the sauce

1:22:42

on top. You understand me? I'm the Parmesan

1:22:44

cheese to his spaghetti. The sauce to. Exactly.

1:22:47

And you know what's funny, it makes Andy laugh, no matter what he

1:22:49

says, he loves it. I got it, I'm

1:22:51

with it with you. I love it. I

1:22:53

want everyone to know that I sit down

1:22:56

I pee

1:22:57

we all know this we've talked about it. I don't know if you

1:22:59

know it Well, you should I do now, but I always sit down when

1:23:01

I pee even at your I

1:23:06

don't want I don't want anyone

1:23:09

to ever be able to say Tim

1:23:11

you peed on the fucking thing I didn't I

1:23:13

didn't I didn't okay and And

1:23:16

today right now just a second ago. I

1:23:18

just peed and I didn't sit

1:23:20

no And

1:23:26

I made eye contact with a man walking

1:23:29

outside the window I shut the window So

1:23:39

when you're shitting in there you leave the window open I

1:23:43

I mean, I don't worry about the window.

1:23:45

Yeah. Oh, I live worried about the wind every

1:23:47

time the noise you put the window People

1:23:52

outside I don't want someone looking at me well shit

1:23:54

people inside both you're

1:23:56

we're not it's not the old bathroom where you're so close.

1:23:58

I poop in the AFI.

1:23:59

And then I get up, I mean, I flush everything, but

1:24:02

then I open the window to let it air out that way.

1:24:04

Oh, after? Yeah. Okay. But even

1:24:06

when I'm peeing, I stand to pee like

1:24:08

a normal person, I shut the door

1:24:10

or the window. Yeah, I don't want people looking at it.

1:24:12

Tim, there's nothing wrong with sitting to pee.

1:24:14

Thank you. No, not only is there nothing wrong, everyone

1:24:16

should just sit to pee if it's a toilet.

1:24:19

You can do it as a treat,

1:24:21

you know? It's a treat. Well, just why are you saying

1:24:23

that? Simon, do

1:24:25

you know your body so well that you're sure every

1:24:27

time you're not gonna poop?

1:24:29

Jesus Christ, yes, 100% Kevin is

1:24:31

that the argument? I would like

1:24:33

to think... Let's not be so quick to judge Kevin.

1:24:36

Are these okay? Because you don't, sometimes

1:24:38

you... Yeah. Sometimes you're like, I just thought

1:24:40

I had gas. Yeah. But I don't.

1:24:43

I'm not saying I'm having accidents, but it's just one of those things. These

1:24:45

are the caliber of people you're putting in with him. I

1:24:47

see it on your face, like, what, this has never been one

1:24:49

of my problems. First off, those who sit,

1:24:52

rule. So I'm gonna be ahead of my life. Thank you. Their

1:24:55

pants apparently when they're... No, I just don't think it's, I don't think there's

1:24:57

any reason why you have to Fucking be pissing

1:24:59

all over like no matter how good you think

1:25:01

you are you're getting pissed all over the fucking

1:25:03

toilet seat And you savages probably aren't cleaning

1:25:05

it up and even if you do you and

1:25:08

then

1:25:10

Well you can't but then you got touch the underside with this piss

1:25:12

all over it Piss

1:25:22

everywhere piss on the side of the thing piss because you know it is

1:25:24

It comes out and it missed it goes in

1:25:26

a mist and then it settles down one spot I

1:25:29

don't think that's what's happening. Do you think we are? I think the

1:25:31

wrong question Yeah, break

1:25:34

call break back. Can I tell you guys something silly

1:25:36

that happened the other week though?

1:25:37

And I'm proud of the office right as you guys know It's

1:25:40

very nice. I'm gonna see where we're about to

1:25:43

pivot there I'm proud of the office because I think

1:25:45

our team finally has jelled. They've all come together

1:25:48

Yeah, we were just taking time bomb before but now with the

1:25:50

Avengers

1:25:52

Kevin says, Nick, we have something to talk to you about.

1:25:54

I don't think you guys were here for this. They waited

1:25:56

till you were gone so they couldn't have backup.

1:25:58

And they sit here and Kevin goes, Nick.

1:26:00

It's time that we talked about the one ply

1:26:02

toilet paper that you bought here in this office

1:26:05

Okay,

1:26:06

and I said okay. I'm for I said I'm

1:26:08

you made I said I'm open to this conversation But

1:26:10

again the whole reason I bought the one ply to begin with

1:26:12

because I wasn't sure how the plumbing was gonna react You

1:26:15

know older apartments, you know, you put the two ply

1:26:17

down there you get clogged I don't want to have to do with

1:26:19

lots of clogs, but I'm open to this discussion

1:26:22

and Kevin said we are not

1:26:24

We've all voted

1:26:25

and of all the people I everyone turned

1:26:27

I've ordered their gaze Everyone looked away

1:26:29

from me, except for Roger. Roger

1:26:32

stood up and said, Nick, I'm tired of it. Two

1:26:34

ply. Okay, we're going with two ply from now

1:26:36

on. And then Tim, they

1:26:38

brought me the bag of the

1:26:41

remnants of the one ply toilet. I'm

1:26:43

not kidding, there was two rolls that were three

1:26:45

quarters of the way used that they pulled off and gave

1:26:48

back to me in some sort of fucking protest.

1:26:50

Tim, we've had enough. They've had enough. And

1:26:54

I love the one ply. So I just said, you

1:26:56

know what, I'll take this home to Dee. And she was so happy

1:26:58

because we were running out of toilet paper and then Mike

1:27:00

goes I'll take those scrubs the ones that are Leftover that

1:27:02

are like that three quarters the way through so I gave him that's

1:27:04

now Mike has them on play at his house Where's the where's

1:27:07

where's the revolt on the bidet Kevin?

1:27:08

You know what I mean? We have two bidets there cuz Tim

1:27:10

said we were not allowed to use them cuz Tim said he's gonna

1:27:12

get us a sponsorship For bidets this never came to

1:27:15

be so we have two bidets sitting there that I would

1:27:17

shit water all over your bidets

1:27:19

are awesome

1:27:20

I don't believe what you

1:27:23

don't know. I'm gonna work apparently you're saying

1:27:25

your penis works. I know how to miss out

1:27:27

It comes together well I have a healthy It's

1:27:31

like the thing I have a big stream. I

1:27:34

have a very big people We

1:27:44

didn't go I love the

1:27:46

mix like we're gonna do it today. We put it there,

1:27:48

we put it there. I love it, dude. Put it there.

1:27:51

He does them, dude. We'll wrap up after I hear

1:27:53

about this bidet business, Kevin. My concern

1:27:55

is like, there's no heating element in

1:27:57

the ones we have. I don't use my one at home

1:27:59

is not he.

1:27:59

either it's fine yeah but you live like

1:28:02

an animal you know what I mean I mean yeah there's no better way

1:28:04

to wake up the best part of waking up is that

1:28:06

ice cold water in your ass all

1:28:08

right I

1:28:10

mean I'll install it if you thank

1:28:13

you please do all right

1:28:15

ladies and gentlemen this has been the kind of funny podcast is that

1:28:17

it you have

1:28:20

more to say did you want what's the bidet

1:28:22

situation over in London

1:28:24

I don't think people I don't have one I

1:28:26

don't they're more common than they

1:28:28

are yeah Yeah, but they're not as prevalent as

1:28:30

they're. I don't know. I've just, have you ever used

1:28:33

one Kevin's question?

1:28:35

I haven't actually personally, we have a hose out back.

1:28:38

If you want to, it's almost the same thing. Next

1:28:40

time you take a shit in the office, Kevin, no, he'll come

1:28:42

and hose it out for you.

1:28:44

Yeah. I want to go home.

1:28:46

Well, you got to hang out with us all day tomorrow.

1:28:49

I know it's been the kind of funny podcast each and

1:28:51

every week for sometimes five best friends

1:28:53

together on this table. Each coming to talk

1:28:55

to each other about whatever they want to talk about. And sometimes

1:28:58

the things they don't want to talk about. If you like

1:29:00

that, go to patreon.com slash kind of funny, where of

1:29:02

course you can get each and every episode ad free.

1:29:04

And you can watch us record live before

1:29:06

Simon and pair make us cut anything out of it. Of

1:29:09

course, over there, you could also get dozens of bonus episodes

1:29:11

of content, including my one hour long

1:29:13

Greg way live this week. And of

1:29:15

course you can just have

1:29:16

a good time. You get some physical merch and have a great show.

1:29:18

If you have no money to toss our weight,

1:29:20

no big deal. Go to youtube.com slash

1:29:23

kind of funny podcast services around the globe each and

1:29:25

every week to get a brand spanking new episode. Simon.

1:29:28

Well, thank you for hanging out with us and being such a good best

1:29:30

friend all these years. Thank you for having me. It

1:29:32

was

1:29:33

an event.

1:29:34

Where can people keep up with you? Cardi

1:29:36

Simon on Twitter. Cool. With a Y.

1:29:39

With a Y not an I. If

1:29:41

they, do you have a Venmo? If they Venmo enough,

1:29:43

will you buy a bidet? I don't have a Venmo

1:29:46

and I don't need a bidet, but thank you so much.

1:29:48

I'm going to wash your asshole before this all works.

1:29:51

Simon Cardi taken on Twitter.

1:29:53

Do you know I wanted just Cardi. I

1:29:56

think Simon Cardi was taken by someone else Yeah,

1:29:58

so I had to go Cardi Simon

1:29:59

Yeah, I used to be a similar card

1:30:02

right used to be sim card seven. So I'm a cool

1:30:04

guy. Well, yeah Oh, that's a great point

1:30:07

Joshy G asked for a brick update.

1:30:09

I'm I I had signed up for text notifications

1:30:12

So let's say I don't think I've got anything but I love this

1:30:14

cuz like the bond James Bond And

1:30:18

Carly Simon did a bond theme

1:30:21

Yeah, right have you seen that documentary about the

1:30:23

bond themes I haven't it's really good I think

1:30:25

it's called the sound of bond and they go through all the years

1:30:27

of like how the original theme got made and then how

1:30:30

they approached a lot of the more famous musicians

1:30:33

with the more famous songs, I should say. It's really, really well

1:30:35

made documentary. Doesn't look like anything from Brick, but

1:30:38

the app's kind of frozen or whatever. So I'll just tweet out

1:30:40

the Brick video when I get it. But hey, again,

1:30:42

just- What we placing our bets on, I'm going hexagon.

1:30:45

Sure, that makes sense. I think- It

1:30:47

makes sense. Brick seems like

1:30:50

a square guy. He's a square guy. But

1:30:52

I also want you, we're all here live as it happened, right? I

1:30:55

just picked Brick out of a hat. So if it turns out he's got a bunch of racist

1:30:57

TikToks I don't wanna hear about it. I just did what

1:30:59

I did. All right, I gave the kid four bucks,

1:31:01

but I don't back his views Disclaimer

1:31:09

yeah, I'm going parallelogram though. I

1:31:11

know we're on a chilly outbreak. No

1:31:13

way If someone asks you what's

1:31:15

your favorite shape and you're trying to be cool. That's

1:31:18

the answer. I would say it would be cool Yeah,

1:31:20

or trapezoid. Yeah, hello. I'm trapezoid.

1:31:22

I think already I agree rhombus is cooler than

1:31:24

the... Rhombus is better. This is exactly

1:31:27

the conversation we had three days ago. I know. Here

1:31:29

we are. And until next time, it's

1:31:32

been our pleasure to serve you.