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1:01

hey there you're listening to the lazy

1:03

genius i guess i'm kendra

1:05

adichie and i'm here to help you be a genius

1:08

about the things that matter and

1:10

lazy about the things that dealt today's

1:12

, two hundred and forty three lazy

1:15

genius questions for to start as

1:17

tony tony to it's the first monday

1:19

in january which always has some

1:21

fun energy to a while i mean fun isn't

1:25

right word right don't often is it hasn't energy

1:27

to at the level of fun

1:30

depends on your personality and

1:32

circumstances i suppose

1:34

that new year's do offer

1:37

deep breaths clean slate maybe

1:39

a little whoa granted when

1:41

i went back and look at this episode from last

1:44

january which was called naming what

1:46

matters and twenty twenty once i was clearly

1:48

under the impression that we were moving back into

1:50

a state of normal again and had a

1:52

lot more hope about that fan

1:54

actually happened and twenty twenty one life

1:57

is still upside down in

1:59

many ways but that doesn't mean

2:02

that we shouldn't hope so

2:04

as we move into this new calendar year

2:06

i want to study what like what lazy genius lazy genius

2:08

all of you listening to feel

2:11

confident and grounded

2:13

in any decisions you make

2:16

about what you wanna be geniuses about and

2:18

what you want to be the about

2:21

what matters

2:22

i also want you to kindly

2:24

kindly hold this decisions and

2:27

night grip them into existence

2:30

circumstances change expectations

2:34

iraq estate kids check jobs

2:36

change personalities change as

2:39

, begin this episode and

2:41

this year it's so important

2:43

to be kind kind we

2:45

leave space for things

2:47

to things what you

2:49

decide now will very likely shift

2:52

before the end of twenty two until it's just the way

2:54

it goes remember from our

2:56

last week's episode from our one of the

2:58

yeah i did one of the seven things that

3:00

i set out to the last year just one give you the

3:02

recap of my forty year and it just one

3:05

of the think things shift

3:08

the process is simply

3:11

naming and intention and

3:14

living with it until things

3:16

shift and whatever ways they

3:19

might need now

3:21

i've said this before but i am not naturally

3:23

gifted at reflection i'm focused

3:25

on right now first very

3:28

present focused i plan

3:30

second then i look

3:32

back and a very distant third side

3:35

, emily p freeman is

3:37

a fantastic guru for reflection

3:39

if you would like some guru ness

3:41

in that area area if you

3:44

would like an actual guide for

3:46

regular reflection check out

3:48

her next straight thing guided

3:50

journal it is a fantastic resource

3:52

for people like you and like

3:54

don't reflect very well on our own so

3:57

i like to be where i am i like

3:59

him

3:59

right now

4:01

better

4:02

and then i like to look ahead that

4:05

we look ahead better

4:08

when we know where we came from we know that

4:11

so i want to share list of questions

4:13

to help you think about twenty twenty two

4:15

michael a the genius and many

4:18

of those questions do focus on

4:20

this last year on looking back looking

4:22

where we are twenty two

4:24

i listed thirty questions

4:27

in a blog post called thirty lazy

4:29

genius questions for the start of a new year creative

4:32

title the link will be in the zone out so you

4:34

can access them easily i'm

4:36

not going to expand on all thirty questions and

4:38

this episode but what i do wanna

4:40

do is suggest how you

4:42

can incorporate the answers

4:44

to those questions into intentions

4:47

for the next year

4:49

now before we get into some other questions

4:52

let's talk for talk second about the side

4:54

it of goals and growth and such

4:56

this time of year this is weird

4:58

thing but i always think about like

5:00

laura ingalls and little house on the prairie

5:03

i think about our wendell berry and

5:06

just a general farmer that

5:08

it existed for decades even

5:10

centuries ago

5:12

i always think about how this idea as new

5:14

year and a fresh start so

5:16

it seems so modern like did

5:18

people two hundred years ago set new years

5:20

resolutions two thousand years ago i

5:23

always think about it but i never really explore

5:25

it this year i did i read like

5:27

to articles from history channel so i'm basically

5:30

expert now but i learned that

5:32

people have been making choices

5:35

for the future and reflecting

5:37

on past way says at the start

5:39

of the new year as early as like four

5:41

thousand years ago but most

5:44

of those ceremonies are those rituals

5:46

or whatever were built around

5:48

commitments to the gods

5:51

or two

5:52

the capital g god the

5:55

minutes to pay debts that were owed the

5:57

celebrating another harvest year

5:59

since the new year for a long time wasn't

6:02

marked by january first that it was marked in

6:04

mid march when it was time to start a new season

6:06

of planting it's only been

6:09

recently the point is it's only been

6:11

recently where these new year

6:13

resolutions were made to

6:15

ourselves

6:16

for our own self

6:19

improvement

6:21

and here's why i always think about little house

6:23

a celebrity as works as a head high like

6:26

paragraph paragraph of how they cured meat

6:28

store potatoes the seller like the

6:30

hunker down and the winner they enjoy

6:32

being outside the spring i loved it i love

6:35

this i also love the

6:37

children's book the ox cart man

6:39

for that same reason it

6:41

is a beautiful book about a man

6:43

who he takes his ops

6:46

and a cart full of foods

6:48

that he grew candles his

6:50

family made pillows that his wife

6:52

and his daughter embroidered and he travels

6:55

for days and days to town where

6:57

he sells all of the goods

7:00

then he sells the oxcart

7:02

then he sells

7:04

the

7:05

and with a pocketful of queens and

7:07

a few like supplies

7:09

that he can't make himself

7:11

on his arm he goes back home

7:14

where his family didn't spend the next

7:16

year growing more food making

7:18

more candles embroidery more pillars

7:21

the , build a new cart for an ox

7:23

that site was a baby ox has now become

7:25

in a grown up box it is

7:27

so rhythmic and cyclical

7:31

and the you'd have fall what

7:34

i'm realize saying is that the

7:37

the hopes and dreams any intentions

7:40

for the family by this family are

7:43

decided the

7:45

season

7:46

the single families the same way rates they're not

7:48

making resolutions to

7:50

drink more water or get off their phones for very

7:52

obvious reasons there weren't as but

7:54

the energy in

7:57

a new year it always

7:59

leads me conflict

8:00

because i think about

8:02

that way of living that cyclical

8:04

way of living i've said before that i

8:06

i i wouldn't mind living mind an apocalypse

8:09

as long as there weren't zombies or anything

8:11

like terrible chasing me i

8:13

wouldn't actually by same kind of enjoy

8:16

living with very few items or the seasons

8:18

dictate what i was doing that then i think

8:20

about how i don't like door under my fingernails

8:22

i really like target pick up it's

8:24

probably okay that that life actually

8:26

isn't for me it's like ideal of my head but

8:29

it's not the reality

8:31

the spirit is there

8:33

i think we all have the spirit

8:36

of wanting to focus on what matters most

8:38

not on everything that could possibly

8:40

matter that's why you're here

8:42

that's why you want to be lazy genius

8:44

where we live the culture that

8:46

we live and this generation is one that

8:49

has to

8:49

work much harder

8:51

to figure out what matters the

8:53

answer that question used to be a lot simpler

8:56

that

8:58

the simplicity that i kind of lean toward

9:00

a want to hold onto when i think about wendell berry and or

9:02

ingles and off for man i

9:04

wish it was easier to choose what matters

9:07

i wish there were so many options right

9:09

to used to be so few options now

9:11

we have every option and whole world

9:15

though our task

9:17

i believe he geniuses moving into this

9:19

new year you

9:21

kindly honestly

9:24

and intentionally limit our options

9:27

so that we're not constantly

9:30

overwhelmed by what doesn't

9:34

the i think a really good place

9:35

the start

9:36

the

9:37

the these questions i mentioned earlier again

9:39

the list is on the blog it will be linked in the

9:41

show notes but i will run through a

9:43

few of them here to give you an idea of

9:45

kind of what they are now there's nothing super new

9:47

here like lists of end of your questions

9:50

are generally the same ish so

9:53

you can use this list or any other that you like

9:55

but i'm going to highlight a few questions that questions

9:57

find very important for me

9:59

that

9:59

barbarian portfolio

10:01

i think it's good to name

10:03

at this is no surprise coming from me i

10:05

think it's really good the name favorite things from

10:08

the past year i do episodes about

10:10

things that are saving my life i did their

10:12

favorites file ah in

10:14

early twenty twenty two and a pandemic started

10:17

about favorite tv shows and characters know that

10:19

south's things like books shows

10:21

movies the obvious what

10:23

was your favorite thing

10:25

that i also like asking what

10:27

was your favorite outfit you left

10:29

because that and it gives me a window

10:31

into what was either really comfortable when

10:33

i was an ally what made me feel like myself

10:36

i ask what my favorite place was

10:39

what my favorite time of day was

10:41

naming know things it helps

10:44

you

10:45

sent her in your like regular

10:47

day and then maybe prioritizes

10:50

places are times a day the future

10:52

and a coming year the offer

10:54

want you to ask yourself what was restful

10:56

to you what energizing

10:58

tier we struggle so

11:00

much to create and schedule rest

11:03

schedule rest is a lazy genius principal and

11:05

but we really struggled to do that in the future

11:08

so name what was restful

11:11

the past that can help name

11:13

what with energizing as well even

11:16

know that's not technically rest be

11:18

lazy genius definition of self care

11:21

which includes rest is doing whatever

11:23

makes you feel like yourself

11:26

and usually things that bring

11:28

us enter

11:28

the fall into that category not always

11:31

but often their office intestines

11:34

on that list about how

11:36

you feel about

11:38

yourself

11:39

what was hard at the start of the year this easier

11:41

now so have you changed

11:44

what have you learned how do you feel

11:46

about yourself

11:47

after last year

11:49

what you want to feel about yourself in the coming

11:51

year that's an important question

11:54

because so much of the new

11:56

year i kind of spin cycle

11:58

that we get stuck in it's about

12:00

becoming a certain kind of person

12:02

who does a certain kind of thing

12:05

to keep yourself added that spin cycle name

12:09

really and truly how you want to

12:11

feel about yourself

12:12

the is that feeling a kind one

12:15

is it taking your season of life into

12:17

account is it assuming

12:20

you have certain tools or

12:23

resources or abilities

12:25

that you don't actually have yet or

12:28

might not ever have

12:30

so many of these questions are geared towards

12:33

the

12:33

honest about how you feel about yourself giving

12:35

yourself credit for the good that you've done celebrating

12:38

the fun things any accomplishments and

12:40

then just like the regular existing that

12:42

you have done and as you hold

12:44

that posture toward yourselves

12:48

hopefully it will help you move into intentions

12:50

for a new year

12:51

with more kindness

12:54

we'll be right back

12:56

this episode is sponsored by better help this

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summer i'm being even more intentional about

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the ways i take care of my mind for

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me that means making time to do things

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that make me feel like myself like reading

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seventeen minute naps when i need them and

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deciding once about pool snacks so

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i don't have a stressful situation on my hands

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every time we go to the pool it sounds

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inconsequential but how we care for our

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like another way to care for your mind

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so

15:03

let her kind of the final

15:05

the handful of questions

15:07

the on that list of thirty

15:08

that's in a blog post the

15:10

first first touched on how do i

15:12

feel about myself

15:14

after the first

15:15

name that in an honest way

15:17

the notice if there's any and ten their next

15:20

question how do i want to

15:22

feel about myself in the coming year okay

15:25

what are you want your pi sure to be towards yourself

15:29

and as you answer that

15:31

let that be a filter

15:33

through which you process

15:35

any priorities are goals

15:37

or dreams for this next year

15:39

are you creating list of things to do

15:42

that a line with how you truly

15:45

want to feel about yourself now that is not

15:47

a trick question or a leading questions like

15:49

just be aware of

15:51

how your view of yourself the

15:54

impacts the goals that you mindset

15:57

the after that i would

15:59

yeah

16:01

what do i want to bring from last year

16:04

into this year this speaks two

16:06

different things that you might have learned about your

16:09

mounting observations , how

16:11

you changed as a person and big waves are small

16:13

ways how you move in the world how

16:15

you interact with people you know that kinda thing

16:18

or maybe it's a habit maybe there's something

16:20

he started doing and twenty twenty one that you want

16:22

to keep doing an twenty twenty two

16:24

it matters because you've experienced

16:27

the positive effects that it had on

16:29

your life so what do you want to bring

16:32

from last year

16:33

into this year

16:35

the here's where we get into the nitty gritty the next

16:37

question on the list is

16:39

what do i think will matter to see

16:42

hopefully after answering the you

16:44

know twenty plus questions that came before this

16:46

you'll have a better idea of what the saints or could be

16:49

now a personally my answer at the start

16:51

of twenty of twenty of last year

16:53

and i talked about the center pakistan said

16:56

was honoring my body

16:58

seeking after joy

17:00

those were the two things that

17:02

personally mattered to me

17:05

mostly because at that point my

17:07

body had been through a lot and twenty twenty was

17:09

hired it was always last on the list

17:12

and i wanted to honor it more and

17:14

, the julie part was because twenty

17:16

twenty was so diagram depressing to i wanted

17:19

to intentionally sick after

17:21

and sheer joy make

17:24

sense to those were the two things that things

17:26

named that i assumed would

17:28

matter most

17:29

this year

17:31

the what do you think will matter this year for

17:33

you if the year

17:35

is too big which it often is they

17:37

get smaller break it down by

17:39

season or quarters you know or even by

17:41

month

17:42

what matters most this month the

17:45

season of life and i met related

17:48

question is a bitcoin it can be can very

17:51

overwhelming because part of part problem is trying to make

17:53

everything matter rights but

17:55

let's go back to our like laura ingalls up

17:58

oxcart man life and thinking

18:00

their lives were simpler

18:02

maybe not easier

18:03

the simpler

18:05

the had their list of priorities a short

18:08

even though the possibilities

18:11

that could exist on your list or way

18:13

longer than what you know large

18:15

family would have

18:17

that does not mean that you can't make a shortlist

18:19

for yourself if you can

18:22

and can i can i offer is

18:24

a slightly deep thought for you to consider

18:26

in this process we're talking

18:28

to my therapist the other day about about my

18:30

life and where i am we were kind of doing like a

18:32

tiny bit as and of you're thinking and

18:35

i realized how my life

18:38

is busier than it ever

18:40

has been before there's more on my plate

18:42

and has ever been on my plate before that

18:45

i also feel more calm and more myself

18:48

and i have ever felt before

18:49

i've always thought

18:51

that by managing my to do list and my

18:53

schedule and my circumstances in my habits

18:56

and all that

18:57

that i can be better at life

18:59

and while learning the things

19:01

is great and they're even like podcast

19:04

episode right here on the see that can help you with some

19:06

of the things i believe

19:09

the give me but i believe the most powerful

19:11

thing we can put intention toward is

19:14

i'm learning

19:15

the better house

19:17

learning about our own

19:19

the pattern communication patterns thought patterns

19:22

telling our

19:23

the our own true story

19:26

naming the tendencies dependencies

19:28

that we have that put us in kind

19:30

of less than i

19:31

the old

19:32

the emotional circumstances the

19:35

more i learn about myself the

19:38

more that i tell myself the truth about

19:40

who i am the more i believe

19:43

that my value they

19:45

haven't com from what i've always thought it came

19:47

from it doesn't come from what

19:50

value other people assigned to me

19:52

or what i do or how capable

19:54

or perfect or still in the blank that i am

19:58

the more i realized

19:59

true

20:00

who am and the value that i have as

20:02

a person the more grounded

20:05

and whole i feel

20:07

no matter what my circumstances

20:10

so them the more i receive

20:12

like ah helpful tools to

20:15

help me manage not so

20:17

much my to do list but the stress

20:20

around not having it done the

20:24

better it i'm busier

20:26

than ever but i'm also the

20:29

happiest and call us that i've ever been because

20:32

i'm learning how to be not

20:34

so much choosing what

20:36

to do those

20:38

you're overwhelmed by the list

20:41

of all the things that could matter i would encourage

20:43

you to think about what you're year would

20:45

look like if you prioritize

20:48

learning about yourself

20:50

i go to counseling

20:51

explore innocent

20:53

deeper levels of seems like

20:55

the unique around like that's a that's a tall

20:57

as a self awareness all pay attention

21:00

to when you disconnect from relationships and

21:02

what's going to your head when that happens in

21:04

a notices things you can adjust

21:06

and the tiniest of ways seek

21:09

out a tool or tool or to

21:11

you navigate that process

21:13

becoming more herself i

21:15

think

21:17

it's just an incredibly helpful

21:19

transform it it's thing the make

21:21

matter

21:22

nine

21:23

who you should be but who you already

21:25

are

21:27

just brighter and without

21:29

as much baggage because you're learning to name

21:33

what you're carrying that you don't need to

21:36

being able to release yourself

21:38

from the role that

21:40

that baggage his had

21:42

for you and your life so far

21:45

that kind of a bigger broader thing

21:47

but i feel like it's important

21:50

then the next question that can hope

21:52

you connect with what matters is what

21:56

habits or rituals

21:58

or rhythms what i like

22:00

to see in my life this next year this

22:03

is not about doing the things that everyone else says

22:06

to do but when you think about the

22:08

answer to they like what

22:10

your favorite time of day as are your favorite to be

22:13

many way to answer this question

22:15

about habits or rituals are rhythms is

22:17

to make that place or

22:19

that time of day a

22:22

regular priority for yourself view

22:24

of twilight opted

22:27

not to books or the movie but like time

22:29

of day if you have twilight

22:32

that you find yourself like having a rush through

22:34

chores and dinner cleanup and kid bad

22:36

times or whatever though that

22:39

you always miss twilight maybe

22:41

you choose one night a week where you go

22:44

outside and enjoy the twilight i

22:46

would like to say every night but i realized that that might

22:48

not be feasible for a lot of you especially

22:50

folks who are like full time working parents a

22:53

lot has to happen in that

22:55

small handful of hours that your

22:57

home between work being done

22:59

going to bed so ,

23:02

twilight every single day might not be read as

23:04

realistic but when made a week i

23:06

think that's a ritual you can probably do

23:09

so what habits or rituals

23:11

or rhythms would you like to see

23:13

in your life this next year

23:16

i'm an egg one

23:17

start small

23:19

make how you do it even smaller

23:23

it it better to begin in a very small

23:25

way keep going

23:28

then build it big

23:29

the never start

23:32

thinking of starting the next to last question

23:35

is kind of a pair of questions what would

23:37

questions like to finish

23:38

then what would i like to start

23:40

i think it's important to have projects

23:43

or goals or whatever or whatever

23:45

you want to use that aren't

23:48

going to be

23:49

they'd the and one calendar year

23:51

to me that can be can lot of unnecessary

23:54

pressure

23:54

but naming something that's already started

23:56

that you would like to finish that seems reasonable

23:59

naming the thing that you would like

24:01

start

24:02

without the expectation of finishing it and twenty

24:04

twenty two that also seems reasonable so

24:07

what do you want to finish and what you

24:09

wanna start

24:11

the final question is based

24:14

on his last year what

24:16

advice would i give myself moving

24:18

into this next year

24:20

i love this question and this prospectus because

24:23

it helps us be kind to ourselves we

24:25

have reflected we've named a lot of things that matter

24:28

and now that we have another year behind us

24:30

and we're in kind of reflection mode

24:33

what advice would be

24:34

the or so

24:36

i think that reflection posture

24:40

leeds itself lends itself

24:42

to greater kindness even

24:45

the what advice would you give yourself and then take

24:47

that advice maybe even

24:50

make it smaller make the if i smaller because he again

24:52

tend to make things kind of vague

24:54

and remember that advice as often as you're able

24:57

now if you want to take any these answers

24:59

or intentions are rituals or whatever you're bringing

25:01

into the new year that is measurable

25:04

how do you want to maintain and measure that

25:06

thing

25:07

based on the advice you just gave yourself

25:11

create the smallest rhythms

25:14

with the kindest hurt

25:16

remembering that

25:18

your circumstance as

25:20

that would determine your life but how you respond

25:22

to the circumstances it's like a gander

25:24

to frodo

25:26

oh we have to decide

25:29

what to do with the time to discuss i

25:31

watched the entire lord of the rings the reality last

25:33

week while they're at present so gandalf

25:36

as top of mind right now but that still the

25:38

tooth

25:39

our

25:40

existence in this world the

25:42

more rooted in who we are

25:45

and how we are

25:47

then in what we do

25:49

and resolutions are almost always based on what we're

25:51

doing and while i get the idea

25:54

that our that our actions

25:56

impact our thoughts impact also think

25:58

that our world is already

26:00

so action based that sometimes

26:02

we just need to focus less on on the doing

26:04

and more on the being just be just

26:07

learned by yourself kindly create opportunities

26:09

to do that and be served with yourself in the process

26:12

the what makes you feel like herself do what

26:14

gives you energy do what brings you the

26:18

with people who love you well in the midst

26:20

of them wow counseling

26:22

for the first

26:24

for go back after not having

26:26

on for years

26:28

i think well i hope that

26:30

answering some of these questions it will help

26:32

you in that process

26:34

of becoming more of who

26:37

you already are

26:39

the next year

26:41

and up for today the ,

26:44

to the list of questions like i settle the and

26:46

shown up as well as a couple of other past

26:48

podcast episode that my ethan encouragement

26:51

encouragement the next issue of the latest

26:53

lengthy letter goes out on wednesday

26:55

at the sleep and i'm going to share

26:58

some of my own answers to some of this person's

27:00

and that newsletters get it and

27:02

just and reminder and just the newsletter we do

27:04

a giveaway

27:05

three month for subscribers

27:07

one winner that than on the list a while and then one

27:09

that just signed up within the last winter's

27:11

get their pick of anything

27:12

the like for her that the

27:14

be sure to sign of if you are

27:15

am i finding of i need to

27:18

learn emily for that will be

27:20

concerned

27:21

that it it for today thank you so much for listening

27:24

and until next time he a genius about

27:26

the things that matter and lazy

27:28

about the things that it