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hey there you're listening

1:07

to the lazy genius podcast i'm kendra

1:10

adichie and i'm here to help you be a genius

1:12

about the things that matter and lazy

1:15

about the things that don't today's episode

1:17

three hundred and forty one the real

1:19

reason it's hard to get stuff done

1:22

we are in a season where there is a lot going

1:24

on a couple of weeks ago we talked about

1:27

how to make the rest of twenty twenty three

1:29

easier and i hope you're feeling a

1:31

little more settled ever since listening to that episode

1:33

if you missed it give it a listen which

1:36

actually reminds

1:36

me we have an email that goes out every other

1:38

friday called the latest lazy listens

1:41

and it is a short but mighty recap

1:43

of the episodes from the previous two weeks it

1:45

is fantastically designed thanks

1:47

to our director of content leo jarvis and

1:50

it includes the lazy genius of the week a

1:52

summary of each episode including step

1:54

by step list if there are any an extra

1:56

links in case you need a little extra support

1:59

i also

3:59

Actually hard

4:01

and I think this metaphor that I'm about

4:03

to share with you is something that you're gonna

4:05

take you with you for a long Time, so I hope

4:07

it helps

4:08

So imagine that you are going

4:10

grocery shopping you do it all the time,

4:13

you know, you have your regular stores You

4:15

mostly know where everything is and while

4:18

it might not be your favorite thing to do You

4:20

can pretty much get it done without

4:22

thinking too hard In fact, if

4:24

your list only contains

4:26

items that you always get

4:29

You can almost shop on autopilot, you

4:31

know where things are you've done this before

4:33

It's a bit of a drag. But here we are, you know now

4:37

Imagine you have a list full

4:39

of items That are not usually

4:41

on your shopping list this Thursday

4:43

Thanksgiving Day in the US and maybe you're

4:45

getting things that you only buy Once a year, you

4:47

know now what happens when you're shopping You're

4:50

a competent capable person, but you're

4:52

also moving a little more slowly You're

4:55

craning your neck to see the aisle descriptors.

4:57

You're trying to figure out where to go to find what you need You

5:00

do eventually find everything but it's not on

5:02

autopilot not at all It takes a little

5:04

bit of intention because you have new things on your list Okay,

5:07

the final thing to imagine imagine you are

5:09

either on vacation or you're on the other side

5:11

of town and you go to a store That

5:14

you usually go to but you walk into a particular

5:17

location a new a different location

5:19

and everything is in reverse Has

5:21

this ever happened to you in Greensboro where I

5:24

live with three targets and I have

5:26

you know My one that I always go to now There

5:28

is a second location that is sometimes

5:31

easier to get to on a certain side of town if

5:33

you know if I'm over that Way and I'll go in

5:35

there and it is the mirror version

5:37

of my location and it is the weirdest

5:40

thing I mean, I know where everything is but

5:42

suddenly I have no idea where everything

5:45

is Or maybe you go to your regular

5:47

store and they have changed

5:49

the layout and Shelves are in

5:51

new places and suddenly the cereal

5:54

is in a new cubby backed by the refrigerated section

5:56

and it throws off your whole game Those

5:58

three grocery shops shopping scenarios

6:01

happen in our to-do

6:03

lists. So let's unpack them.

6:08

This episode is sponsored by BetterHelp.

6:11

It's easy to feel overwhelmed this

6:13

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6:15

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to mention there's less actual daylight to

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therapy, that all changed.

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7:08

This episode

7:10

is sponsored

7:11

by Squarespace.

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Earlier this year, Team Lazy Genius

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decided to update and upgrade

7:17

our website, and we began researching

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of a website or domain.

8:14

The first grocery shopping scenario,

8:16

we are shopping somewhere familiar, we're

8:19

getting stuff we always get, right?

8:21

That is living

8:22

in your life's ordinary rhythms

8:24

or cycles. We

8:27

did an episode about that a few weeks ago, episode 334, how to create

8:29

a relaxing home

8:32

routine.

8:33

Much of our life, food,

8:35

laundry, home stuff, work,

8:38

it's kind of already in a cycle, right? It's

8:41

not necessarily our favorite thing to keep

8:44

those cycles going, but

8:46

they don't take as much effort because we know where we

8:48

are. We know where everything is, we

8:50

know how to do this, and even

8:52

if something is a little bit off, we see how

8:54

to fix it. We adjust a little bit and we keep the cycle

8:57

going, okay? So that's like grocery

8:59

shopping for the same sorts of things in a store

9:01

you're familiar with. The second scenario,

9:04

shopping for things that you always need

9:07

alongside things that you don't usually

9:10

need

9:11

is like having your regular life

9:13

cycles moving

9:15

and

9:16

there are some unusual, singular

9:19

out of the ordinary things that you have to

9:21

take care of.

9:22

In fact, most of us live

9:24

here.

9:26

This is where we pretty much stay.

9:29

Maybe your list of unusual things

9:31

is fairly short and therefore

9:33

a little easier to integrate into your

9:35

regular shopping list, you

9:37

know, or your regular rhythms of life, but

9:40

sometimes

9:41

your to-do list,

9:43

metaphorically your grocery list, is bloated

9:46

with new stuff. This week,

9:49

my actual grocery shopping list is

9:51

wackadoodle because I'm hosting Thanksgiving and I

9:53

have to get a ton of stuff I don't usually get. So

9:55

when life has regular items

9:58

and these kind of singular items, out of the ordinary

10:01

items, it requires

10:03

a different mental energy

10:05

from you to get everything done.

10:07

Right? Doesn't that actually make a lot

10:09

of sense?

10:10

And then the third scenario where

10:13

you have your list, your

10:16

grocery, your metaphorical grocery list, and

10:18

you show up to a new store or your old

10:20

store has, you know, been under renovation

10:22

or something and you're suddenly so confused, that

10:25

metaphor

10:27

is when your season of life is suddenly

10:29

different and you haven't named

10:32

that change yet. You keep looking

10:34

for the pancake syrup in the cereal aisle, but

10:36

the store has moved the syrup to the baking aisle.

10:39

But you get increasingly frustrated every time

10:41

you go shopping because what you need

10:43

isn't where it's always been. That's

10:46

a very relatable situation.

10:49

So shopping for your regular

10:51

stuff in your regular store is similar

10:54

to the cycles in your

10:56

routine and

10:57

your life. The regular things that

10:59

just keep going. You probably don't love doing it

11:01

all, but it's easy enough to manage because

11:04

you know where you're going and you know what needs to be

11:06

done. Shopping for new things

11:08

alongside your old things is

11:11

like adding these new

11:12

singular tasks to your existing

11:14

rhythms. And while it's not

11:17

super hard, it's harder than when you're

11:19

on autopilot and you're just living in rhythms

11:21

only. And

11:22

if you have way

11:24

more unusual things on your list this time around,

11:26

you'd better plan some extra time at

11:28

the metaphorical store because it's going to take

11:30

you longer just to figure out where everything is. And

11:33

then shopping for old things

11:35

in a new place is like being in a new season. You

11:38

know what you need, but everything feels different. You're

11:40

disoriented. Somehow

11:42

this experience, it doesn't make sense anymore, right?

11:45

Okay. So I really love

11:47

these three grocery shopping analogies

11:50

because I think that they can help us name

11:53

where we are in our own life.

11:56

Like we've all been grocery shopping. We all know

11:58

these three feelings.

12:01

I also love these analogies because they can help

12:03

you understand the real reason

12:05

it's hard to get stuff done.

12:07

Metaphorically,

12:09

we are rarely shopping for the basics

12:11

only. Rarely does that happen. Rarely

12:15

is your to-do list just on repeat.

12:18

Right?

12:19

Most of the time, we are

12:21

living in scenario two,

12:23

where we have our regular

12:25

rhythms, our regular lists, our

12:27

things that we've got to get done. But we also

12:30

need to get these three other

12:33

unusual

12:33

things

12:34

done.

12:35

We don't know really what they are

12:37

or where they are. You know,

12:39

metaphorically, our store doesn't even have them and we have

12:42

to go somewhere else again. You know, I'm just

12:44

writing the metaphor real hard here. That

12:46

scenario, it requires more

12:48

time, more energy, and more intention than the

12:50

first one. And

12:51

that scenario is where

12:54

most of us live. However,

12:57

the problem is this. We live there.

13:00

We live in scenario two with our

13:02

basics and our unusual things while

13:05

expecting the

13:06

feel and experience of

13:09

scenario one. We expect

13:12

life to feel like shopping on autopilot, but

13:14

the reality is that we almost always have something

13:16

unusual and singular on

13:18

our to-do list or more broadly in our

13:20

lives.

13:22

If you go into your day on

13:24

autopilot expecting that your

13:26

regular rhythms will carry you all

13:28

while you have several singular,

13:31

unusual, out-of-the-ordinary things on your

13:33

plate, you're going to have a hard time getting those

13:35

things done. And you're

13:37

going to have a hard time actually kind of getting anything done.

13:40

Why?

13:41

Because the things that are out-of-the-ordinary

13:43

for us, that are

13:46

a little bit unexpected, that are outside

13:48

of our regular rhythms and cycles, they

13:50

feel more difficult to manage. And

13:53

that singular difficulty makes

13:56

everything feel more difficult.

13:58

Basically, when one thing in life is,

13:59

feels hard, I think everything in life feels hard,

14:02

or at least harder. I

14:04

think that's the human experience, especially

14:06

if we're not naming that that's what's happening.

14:09

We have to name where we are and

14:12

how we're really

14:14

metaphorically shopping.

14:17

Don't just assume that

14:18

everything has to feel

14:20

like a run to our closest store for the basics.

14:23

That's not most days. The

14:26

problem is we often live with one rigid

14:28

expectation of how our day should be, not offering

14:31

ourselves any any sort of elasticity

14:33

to those expectations. And

14:36

then when a day doesn't happen the way we expect, we

14:38

think something is wrong often with us.

14:42

No, you're not the problem. You just need to name

14:44

where you are. That's the primary takeaway

14:46

today. Name where you are. Name

14:48

how you are metaphorically grocery shopping

14:51

and then adjust your expectations. Now

14:55

let's talk about a couple of particular paths forward to help you

14:57

feel better in all three of these metaphorical

15:00

shopping experiences. And I'll give you some specific

15:02

examples so we can kind of land somewhere. First

15:05

let's look at scenario one. Alright,

15:07

maybe you heard me talk about the basics and you're like,

15:09

um Kendra even that feels stressful. That

15:12

could be

15:12

because you do not have a

15:14

household rhythm that fits

15:17

what matters to you. That you you

15:19

actually don't have rhythms and cycles in your

15:21

home that work for you. If that's the case,

15:24

I would encourage you to listen to episode 334

15:26

how to create a relaxing home routine.

15:29

Now maybe you cannot

15:31

metaphorically shop for the basics the same

15:33

way all the time because you can't

15:36

live in the same cycle all the time because you

15:38

are a nurse. You are someone

15:40

with an unusual schedule, right? You

15:42

don't live the same series of days

15:44

or weeks.

15:46

You are beholden to a work

15:49

schedule that changes a lot.

15:51

If that's the case, finding

15:53

that grounding rhythm,

15:56

that that energy

15:58

of just going into the store and blime blowing. finally

16:00

getting what you need because you know where it is. Finding

16:03

that grounding rhythm is hard

16:06

and often very disorienting. You

16:09

are, you are, it's like you're always

16:11

shopping in a store that's moving stuff around. Right?

16:15

If that's the case for you, naming

16:18

that helps. Naming that that's where you

16:20

are. Name your normal. Even

16:24

when your normal is kind of abnormal. I

16:27

would also offer that decide once is your best friend.

16:30

That's a lazy genius principle that can help, help

16:32

you set some things on autopilot for those days

16:34

that

16:34

are unusual. So for example,

16:37

if maybe you have three sets

16:40

of three meals,

16:43

so nine meals, you know, but

16:45

they all use each set and uses like the same

16:48

general ingredients or something, the same kind

16:50

of prep. And so when you

16:52

get your work schedule and you have to work nights, you have to

16:54

work three nights and you have a

16:56

family. You can grab one

16:58

of those series of three meals and

17:01

that's what your family's going to have. Like you've,

17:03

you've planned some things that

17:06

go with certain aspects of your life

17:09

that often feel unplanned. Okay.

17:11

But really honestly, just speaking

17:13

to those people,

17:15

you have a hard go.

17:17

Your store is always changing. It's

17:20

like the stairs and Hogwarts, you know, that's

17:22

really tough.

17:24

So don't expect your baseline to be predictable.

17:27

If it's not, if unpredictability

17:29

is normal for you, name

17:31

it naming, it doesn't necessarily fix

17:33

anything. But I think naming it

17:36

makes it feel like makes us

17:38

feel a little more settled

17:41

on the inside.

17:42

One final word about scenario one.

17:46

Let's say you feel good about most of your regular

17:48

rhythms about getting your stuff done, but

17:50

maybe there's one particular rhythm that's always tripping

17:52

you up. You know, it's kind of like going

17:55

back to the shopping metaphor. It's like you

17:57

always forget that the eggs are with

17:59

the deli meat. on one end of the store instead

18:01

of with the cheese on the other end of the store, you know,

18:04

like there could be and it frustrates you every time that you

18:06

forget. So there could be one particular cycle

18:09

or rhythm in your life that you just can't seem to

18:11

lock in. You just can't seem to remember to get

18:13

the laundry out of the washing machine. You

18:16

can't seem to figure out what to do

18:18

with your mail and

18:19

with your bills and with all the papers.

18:22

And they just kind of pile up and pile up and pile

18:24

up and overwhelm you and you don't have a rhythm to those

18:26

to that thing, right?

18:28

If that's the case, name it.

18:31

Name that cycle. Name

18:33

where you're getting tripped up. And

18:36

then just think about one small

18:38

thing that you can adjust to

18:41

make that cycle feel a little easier. No big

18:43

swings. No changing stores

18:46

completely because you can't remember where the eggs are,

18:48

right? Make one

18:51

small change

18:52

to help all of your rhythms and cycles feel more

18:55

more in a flow. Because

18:56

like I said before, when one thing feels hard,

18:58

kind of all of it does. So instead

19:01

of changing everything, name what

19:03

you are struggling with and make one small

19:05

change and see if it helps. Okay.

19:08

Now to scenario two. That's where most of us

19:10

live. That's this current

19:12

season. If you're listening to this episode right

19:14

around when it releases, you know, the holiday

19:17

season

19:18

metaphorically has a lot of new items

19:20

on our shopping list. You've got to take a

19:22

lot more time at the store,

19:24

maybe even go to a couple stores. It's a

19:26

transition. It's a different energy, right?

19:29

This is an example that is not grocery

19:31

shopping related. You're welcome. But I think it could

19:33

be really helpful. Okay.

19:35

I usually paint my nails every week

19:37

or two, often during a therapy

19:40

appointment or a staff meeting, or just

19:42

randomly on a weeknight. This is easy

19:44

for me, because I love

19:46

using Olive and June's quick dry nail polish

19:49

formula. It drives in like literally

19:51

two or three minutes. It works so great. It's perfect for me. I

19:54

also keep some mani tools at my desk

19:56

in my office, which is also where I do therapy.

19:59

So I can. I can mani anytime.

20:01

Basically, painting my nails is not hard

20:04

to fit into my life because it already has

20:06

a reasonable rhythm. Like, it's easy to get

20:08

done. It's grocery shopping scenario

20:11

one. I don't even have to really think about it. However,

20:14

last weekend, I bit or

20:16

picked off all my nails. I did

20:18

this because I drove through the mountains to go

20:21

on a girls trip and y'all might not know this about me,

20:23

but I'm pretty sure I have vertigo. And

20:25

driving through mountains or being up high in

20:27

any way,

20:28

it

20:29

it takes me out of my own body.

20:32

It's like all I have is my lizard

20:34

brain. And she is terrified.

20:37

I had to drive over 100 miles

20:40

in the actual mountains. I

20:42

did not expect it to take that long. I even

20:45

took like, quote unquote, the long way to

20:47

try to miss some mountains. I

20:49

don't think I did. I

20:52

did not expect to have a panic attack on

20:54

the road

20:55

and have to pull over with

20:57

some hikers that were starting a fire

20:59

at a trailhead and call cods to help me calm down.

21:02

It was

21:02

a whole thing.

21:04

I also did not expect to revert back

21:06

to my old nervous habit of biting my nails because

21:08

of that experience. And now all my nails

21:10

are gone. They are so gone that they

21:12

are too short to paint. A couple of them are short

21:15

enough to even hurt. Well, I don't

21:17

I don't love how they look right now. Right.

21:20

And on most days, it wouldn't matter that much like

21:22

those grow back. It's fine. However, I'm going

21:24

to a wedding this weekend and I would enjoy

21:26

having nice looking nails.

21:28

Now, my plan for several

21:30

days now has been to apply

21:33

some press on nails and all

21:35

will be well, right? I even have the press on nails.

21:38

But applying press on takes a lot

21:40

longer for me than painting a couple

21:42

of coats of quick dry. I have very

21:44

small nail beds. I don't like long

21:47

nails. So I have to shape and

21:49

file down every single press on nail

21:51

before I apply it. The whole thing it just

21:53

takes a while. Now they look great and

21:55

they stay put forever once they're once they're

21:57

on. But getting them on it takes a

22:00

while. Why am I telling you this? Because

22:02

I wrote on my to-do list, apply

22:05

press-ons, four days ago and

22:07

I still have not done it. I keep rewriting

22:10

it on my daily list because I still

22:12

have not done it. Why? It is

22:14

out of my rhythm.

22:16

It is something I want to do that I

22:19

like reasonably know how to do

22:21

that isn't even that hard to do. But

22:23

because it's out of my rhythm

22:26

and takes a little bit more time, it's

22:29

really tough to actually make happen.

22:31

And if you have several of those on

22:34

your list, on your plate, which

22:36

you probably do,

22:38

it starts to make everything feel hard. Again,

22:42

that's why seasons like this one, like the holidays,

22:44

feel like a lot. There is so

22:46

much that is out of the ordinary.

22:50

And trying to find time for those things alongside

22:53

your regular rhythms

22:55

is tough.

22:58

When we're feeling upside down or overwhelmed or

23:00

too busy or like we can't get everything

23:02

done, when we keep moving

23:04

a task from day to day, today to day,

23:06

our

23:07

response

23:09

to that is it's often aimed at ourselves.

23:12

It's like we can't get it together. We can't figure this out.

23:14

You know what's wrong with me that I can't organize my life

23:16

in a reasonable way. Why can't I just put on my DAGM

23:19

press ons? We assume

23:21

that we're missing something, some hack or

23:23

system or product that will make it all easier or

23:25

that we're just not good at life. We're not good

23:27

at adulting. We should not be trusted

23:30

with investment accounts and home maintenance.

23:33

So instead of

23:35

being honest about where we are and what's really

23:37

going on, we spend our time searching

23:40

for a big solution to our problem. But

23:42

actually simply naming how common this

23:45

is, naming that it happens to pretty

23:47

much all of us, naming what kind

23:49

of metaphorical grocery shopping experience

23:51

you're doing, that can be

23:53

really comforting.

23:55

You're not an outlier.

23:57

Fitting everything in is a tough ask for it.

23:59

everybody

24:01

and you're not doing anything wrong. So

24:03

rather than blame yourself or try to find a

24:05

big fix, just name where you are.

24:08

Name where you are.

24:10

Next, we're going to get into some practical thoughts,

24:12

like right after this sentence. But

24:15

really, even if you stop the episode here, I

24:17

think you'd be better off than you were before. Just name

24:20

where you are and

24:22

be kind to

24:22

yourself there.

24:26

This episode is sponsored by Olive and June.

24:28

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24:33

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25:29

Okay,

25:30

let's do some practical thoughts here.

25:33

Here's the first thing to remember about these

25:35

singular out of the ordinary

25:37

things. Okay? They

25:39

will not just happen. If

25:43

I don't put on my press ons, they won't

25:45

get put on. Like without my attention,

25:47

they, it's not going to happen. Now, cyclical

25:50

things, these rhythmic things, they

25:52

often do happen even

25:55

if you drop the ball or

25:56

things just sort of keep rolling in general.

25:59

If you don't make dinner, you

26:02

and your family will just like forage in the fridge

26:04

and figure something out. You know, you'll eat cereal. A

26:07

kid's going to grab a Pop-Tart and be fine. If

26:10

you need to get dressed and all your

26:12

pants are dirty because of where you are in the laundry

26:15

cycle, you'll just put on a pair

26:17

of dirty pants, you know.

26:19

Eventually you're going to run a load of laundry, but

26:21

you'll get dressed

26:23

and the laundry will eventually happen.

26:25

Cickucole things

26:27

don't tend to sit for very long before

26:29

the consequences become too dire for you to ignore

26:31

them, right?

26:33

But singular things are different.

26:35

And I think there are four types of singular things

26:38

that make us feel overwhelmed and upside down.

26:41

So knowing

26:43

what your singular thing specifically is,

26:45

I think is going to help you get it done, all right? All

26:48

right, the first kind of singular out of the ordinary thing

26:50

that's complicating everything

26:54

is just a one-off task, right? It's

26:56

something like making sure your kid's dress shoes fit

26:58

before the band concert because he hasn't worn those shoes

27:01

since the last band concert. That's one of

27:03

mine right now. Now

27:05

that task, we talk about making things smaller,

27:07

right? That task can't really be made

27:09

that smaller, much smaller, right? I

27:11

mean, it's just a singular task. I need Ben to

27:14

try on his shoes.

27:16

If his shoes don't fit, then I have a new task.

27:18

I have to get Ben new shoes that do fit

27:20

him. The first cases are that

27:23

first task of trying on the shoes, it's not going

27:25

to take long assuming Ben knows where his shoes

27:27

are. And this is where I

27:30

encourage you to actually imagine

27:32

like the most complicated scenario of your

27:34

singular one-off task. Ben

27:36

can't find the shoes, so it takes a while to even

27:38

try them on. Then the shoes don't fit him and we

27:40

have to find new shoes. That's kind of the worst case

27:43

scenario. Go ahead and think through those little

27:45

pieces a little bit, you know, and recognize

27:47

how long this small task

27:49

could actually take maybe. Just

27:52

put it in context a little. But usually

27:54

one-off tasks that don't require a ton

27:56

of time,

27:57

you can just put them on your to-do list on the day you need

27:59

to.

27:59

to do them.

28:01

And

28:03

even if you have to write them down a few times, you're

28:05

going to eventually get them done, unless

28:07

they're applying press ons. And then you actually

28:10

have to block time off on your calendar to do them

28:12

literally this evening, which is what I'm going to

28:14

do. The next type

28:16

of singular task is a task that's new,

28:19

but will actually become its own cycle.

28:22

Something like a new medical treatment. Let's

28:25

say you've been diagnosed with something and you need to take pills

28:27

at a certain time every day. You have not been doing that

28:30

before, right? That's not in your rhythm. You don't have a rhythm

28:32

for that. You have to add something new

28:34

to what already exists, but

28:37

you're adding something, this new singular

28:39

thing. It's going to become repetitive.

28:42

It's not like checked off and

28:44

done. Weirdly though,

28:46

in our brains, we see that kind

28:48

of thing as singular. We

28:51

see it as a single new

28:54

task to do because it's not rhythmic

28:56

yet. So for

28:58

that kind of thing, you're like, Oh no, this is new, but

29:03

it's actually going to be repeated like

29:05

a lot.

29:07

Your task is

29:09

to create reminders, you know, like put an alarm

29:11

on your phone. You can do what James Clear calls

29:13

habit stacking where you put

29:16

your pills that you have to take next to your coffee

29:18

pot because you always drink coffee and you can

29:20

take your pills at the same time. You know, make

29:22

sense. So that's the second type of task.

29:25

It's something that's new, but it's actually going to become a cycle

29:27

and you have to approach it a little bit differently. The

29:29

third type of singular thing is a project.

29:32

A project is something that has an end, you

29:34

know, taking your pills does not have an end. So

29:36

it's different. So project

29:39

is something that has an end. And it's also something

29:41

that has multiple

29:43

decisions and actions attached to

29:45

it, right? Getting holiday gifts

29:47

is a project. Meaning out of closet

29:50

is a project. Applying for grad

29:52

school is a project. Renovating

29:54

a room in your house is a project.

29:57

They all have an end, but they have a lot of parts.

31:44

this

32:00

analogy in the most recent latest lazy

32:02

letter and it's the idea of living

32:04

in the shadow of a mountain. There

32:07

are some situations in your life, a stalled

32:09

renovation, which is where I am, waiting

32:11

to hear about a job offer, waiting to hear

32:13

about a diagnosis, having a kid with a

32:15

mental health crisis. These are things that

32:18

you can't do a lot about, but

32:20

they cast a shadow. You're

32:22

living in their shadow and that shadow

32:25

affects the rest of your life.

32:28

But I think that even naming it is

32:30

helpful.

32:31

Seeing your circumstances, not

32:33

as something to change or manage, but just

32:36

as a shadow that you're simply living under

32:38

is weirdly calming and even a little

32:40

encouraging. It does not change

32:42

the presence of the mountain or the difficulty

32:45

of it being there.

32:47

But if you name that some of

32:49

your overwhelm

32:50

or your difficulty to get stuff done is

32:53

because of the shadow, you

32:55

might better understand

32:57

what is in your power to do.

33:00

So let's recap.

33:02

Name how your life is like grocery shopping. Which

33:05

scenario are you in today? Are

33:08

you just shopping for the basics

33:10

on autopilot?

33:12

Are you in a familiar store, but you

33:15

got some extra weird things that

33:17

you don't quite know where they are? Or

33:19

are you in a brand new store and you're like, what just happened? Why

33:21

is everything moving? I can't find anything. Name

33:24

where you are. Which scenario are you in? And

33:27

be kind as you name it and compassionate

33:29

as you move forward in it. Adjust

33:31

your expectations to match where you are.

33:34

Don't expect one scenario to look like the other.

33:38

If you need a refresher on your regular rhythms,

33:40

listen to episode 334. Otherwise

33:43

you can name these four types

33:45

of singular out of the ordinary tasks that

33:47

might be causing some discomfort or stress in your

33:50

schedule and they're impacting even the rhythmic

33:52

things. It's that one off thing that you

33:54

just have to do. It's maybe a new

33:56

cycle to add. It's a project

33:58

or it's a shadow.

34:00

So naming where you are

34:02

is wildly helpful, even if you do nothing

34:04

else after it. Live with the naming.

34:07

Get used to the naming. And

34:09

I believe that you'll find it easier to get your stuff done. All

34:13

right, before we go, let's celebrate the lazy

34:15

genius of the week. This week, it's Jen

34:17

Banks. Jen shared this really simple

34:20

tip for Thanksgiving cleanup, something that

34:22

we might all be experiencing in just a couple days. So

34:24

Jen wrote, when you set the table for Thanksgiving,

34:27

if you use name, place, card, put

34:29

a responsibility on the back so each person

34:31

knows how to help with cleanup.

34:32

Take out the trash, bring any dishes to the sink,

34:35

remove

34:35

the tablecloth, etc. So built

34:37

in help. Also no one is standing around awkwardly

34:39

wanting to help, but not knowing how. I think

34:42

this is such a great idea, Jen. I might steal

34:44

this for our own meal on Thursday. But regardless

34:46

of how you might use this tip, I think it's important

34:48

to remember that cleaning up after any meal,

34:51

but especially a huge one like Thanksgiving, should

34:54

be a group effort. Having everyone

34:56

take heart in a way that's kind and thoughtful

34:59

and not falling on one or two sets of shoulders

35:02

is just always a lovely

35:03

approach to the holidays.

35:04

So thank you for sharing that, Jen, and

35:06

congratulations on being

35:07

the lazy genius of the week.

35:08

All right, y'all, that's it for today. Thanks so much for listening.

35:11

And until next time, be a genius about

35:13

the things that matter and lazy about the things that

35:15

don't. I'm Kendra, and I'll see you next

35:17

week. Bye-bye.