2:00

is determination because

2:02

determination will really be the

2:04

factor that gets most startup

2:07

businesses to win because most

2:09

businesses will fail because the

2:11

people running them will give

2:14

up. And I just thought that

2:16

was so fascinating because I don't think

2:18

it's something that we're

2:20

teaching in business school and it's

2:23

one of the most important things

2:25

in having a successful business is

2:27

determination. It's way more important than

2:29

your education, intelligence, and your talent.

2:32

There are a lot of people, let me

2:34

tell you all, a lot of people way

2:37

smarter than me with way

2:40

more education, with way more talent

2:42

that do not have the level

2:45

of success that they

2:47

may want because they're lacking in

2:49

determination. And I don't believe that

2:51

determination is something

2:54

that you're born with or not. I

2:56

don't think it's like a character trait

2:58

that you either get or you don't

3:00

get. I think it's a strength that

3:03

you can develop. It's a positive emotion

3:05

that you can continuously generate and build

3:07

evidence for through your actions.

3:10

When I think of the

3:12

word determination, I have a

3:14

very positive, warm, appreciative,

3:17

proud feeling. I'm

3:19

curious for you, think about that

3:21

word for you. Does

3:24

it feel amazing, positive,

3:26

awesome, like something you want to

3:28

develop in yourself or

3:31

does it seem exhausting,

3:33

overwhelming, challenging? Because how

3:35

you have an approach with

3:37

determination, how you have a

3:39

relationship with determination may really

3:41

indicate and influence your life.

3:44

So I would like to invite

3:46

you to have an amazing relationship

3:48

with determination and really commit to

3:51

developing more of it because I

3:53

think it will serve you so

3:55

much in your life. Again,

3:57

I have coached literally

4:00

thousands of people and I've

4:02

coached hundreds of people who

4:04

have wanted to start and

4:06

build their own companies. And

4:09

if you understand the statistics on new

4:12

businesses and new businesses succeeding and

4:14

new businesses failing, you'll know that

4:16

the percentages are abysmal at new

4:19

business failure and most

4:21

new businesses fail very

4:24

quickly because of

4:27

I think the lack of planning and

4:29

the lack of determination by the entrepreneur.

4:31

And I have seen so

4:33

many of my students who have

4:35

wanted to quit within the first

4:37

sign of adversity and I do think

4:39

this is one of the reasons why having a coach and

4:41

having a mentor is so important because if

4:44

you've had a career or you've had

4:46

you know your whole education system in

4:48

your whole career filled with success so

4:50

let's say you were this amazing student

4:53

in school and then you were really

4:55

successful in your job working for somebody else

4:57

and then you go to be an entrepreneur

5:00

and you start failing you can

5:02

be very misguided and thinking oh maybe

5:04

this isn't for me because I'm not

5:06

getting A's all the time I'm just

5:09

taking L's and I'm

5:11

always with my students that I'm helping

5:13

I'm always like no this is part

5:15

of it this is part of the

5:17

adventure of being an entrepreneur is being

5:19

out of the world where there are

5:21

correct answers and there are right ways

5:23

of doing things and there are ways

5:25

to study to get it right and

5:28

get an A. A lot of entrepreneurship

5:30

a lot of building your own company

5:32

is trial and error and there's a

5:34

lot of error and when

5:37

we've been kind of raised in

5:39

this environment where errors are bad

5:41

we can lose our determination

5:44

very quickly in uncertainty

5:47

and in entrepreneurship when you don't know exactly

5:49

what to do and how to do it

5:51

and how to get the right answer and

5:54

so I looked up how

5:56

do you define determination

5:58

and and

8:00

firmly not to quit. That's it,

8:03

those are the definitions of determination. I

8:05

was thinking about how much we admire

8:08

determination in other people. It's

8:10

like when we look at

8:12

Olympic athletes, when we look

8:15

at people who've accomplished amazing

8:17

feats like triathlons and marathons

8:19

and weightlifting competitions and

8:21

in sports, like we're very like, I

8:24

think, filled with admiration for those people

8:26

because we know how committed and determined

8:28

they had to be in order to

8:31

achieve that. I remember, I think

8:33

it might have been Tim Ferriss was talking about

8:35

how he was able to go in into

8:39

a martial arts competition with like

8:41

very little training and fight

8:44

against, I think maybe it was

8:46

Spar is the right word, against some masters

8:49

who had been doing it their whole life. It's

8:51

kind of like if you get like a cheat

8:53

code or you get like a certain method

8:55

or way of being able to do something

8:57

quickly so you can win. And

9:00

thinking about that and thinking about

9:02

people that kind of use, I don't

9:05

know, tricks, I guess, is the right

9:07

word to be able to win something.

9:09

It just doesn't have the same impact.

9:12

It doesn't have the same level of

9:14

admiration. And I was really thinking about why

9:16

that is. Why is it

9:18

that if someone's able to figure

9:20

something out and win without putting in the

9:22

time and the effort and the sweat and

9:25

the tears, why we admire them less? I

9:28

think it's easier to be like, that's

9:30

not fair. Now that is not to

9:32

say that we shouldn't or wouldn't

9:34

do things that make our lives easier

9:36

and the hacks that make it easier

9:38

to be successful. I absolutely think that

9:41

we should. And I do think that

9:43

the major missing ingredients in most long-term

9:45

entrepreneurial success and many other types of

9:48

success is not having the mental training,

9:50

the mental fortitude to continue to go.

9:52

And I think that that's something that

9:55

Life Coaching has really given to me

9:57

and to so many of my successful

9:59

students. So when you think about determination,

10:01

it is developed

10:04

through adversity. It gets

10:06

very hard to have a level

10:09

of determination or even need a

10:11

level of determination if you're not

10:13

putting yourself in a situation that

10:15

requires it. It's like it's

10:17

very difficult to build strong muscles if

10:19

you aren't lifting heavy weights. And

10:22

I use that metaphor a lot. The heavy

10:24

weights are the obstacles that we are going

10:26

to face as we go through this journey

10:29

of trying to achieve our goals. One

10:32

of the easiest ways to lack

10:34

determination is to be in a

10:37

hurry and to be too focused

10:39

on getting the result and

10:41

less focused on the process and

10:43

who you will become in the

10:46

process of achieving that result.

10:49

When I think about the results that I

10:51

have right now in my

10:53

career, the financial results, the impact

10:56

results, the contribution results that I

10:58

have, they are a result

11:01

of me becoming the person who

11:03

could produce them. And

11:06

that is what I'm proud of so

11:08

much. I'm not proud of the end

11:11

result as much as I am

11:13

proud of the process, the obstacles

11:16

I overcame, the days that I had to get

11:18

up early, the amount of time

11:20

and energy I put into creation

11:23

and frustration and learning and

11:26

processing emotion, all of those

11:28

things give me this incredible

11:30

sense of confidence, this incredible

11:32

sense of accomplishment because of

11:35

the interaction that I had

11:37

with my own brain, with

11:39

my own self. I

11:42

feel like determination is now a

11:44

resource that I have within me.

11:46

It's an asset that I have

11:48

built through many years of practicing

11:51

it, many years of implementing it

11:53

in my life. And

11:55

had I not done that, had

11:58

I not been committed and determined

12:00

to overcoming myself, I wouldn't have

12:02

as much confidence about my future.

12:05

I wouldn't know that I had that as a

12:07

resource. I wouldn't know that I had that as

12:10

an ability to be able to

12:12

draw on. If we are

12:14

constantly quitting and giving up and

12:16

not overcoming adversity, then we don't

12:18

have as much of that as

12:21

a resource to feel like we

12:23

can draw on. So the question

12:25

then becomes, how do

12:27

we get good, the ability,

12:29

at making the decision not

12:31

to quit ever? It

12:34

doesn't mean we don't change our approach.

12:36

It doesn't mean we don't change the

12:39

process. It doesn't mean that we don't

12:41

change direction on our way to that goal. Of

12:44

course not. Many times we're gonna have to do

12:46

that. But it means that

12:48

we stay determined to achieving the

12:50

dream that we have within us,

12:52

the ideas that we want to

12:54

put into the world. How do

12:56

we do that without giving up?

12:58

And I think when we understand that it's

13:01

simply just a decision, and

13:03

it's a personal decision that

13:05

we either choose to make or

13:07

not, the simplicity of that makes

13:09

it so much easier. One

13:12

of the most important things that I

13:14

have learned in my lifetime is

13:17

to make decisions with the highest

13:20

part of my brain, and

13:22

not to give in to decisions

13:24

with my survival brain. And

13:26

I feel like those two things

13:28

are in constant conflict

13:31

with each other. The

13:34

survival brain wants immediate gratification.

13:36

It wants it right now.

13:39

And it doesn't really care so

13:41

much about the long-term consequences as

13:43

long as we are alive right

13:45

this second, as long as we

13:47

are in pleasure right this second,

13:49

as long as we are not

13:51

in pain, as long as we

13:53

are conserving our energy. In this

13:55

moment, the survival brain

13:57

is happy. And if you've

13:59

studied... my work in scholars, you know that

14:01

we call that the motivational triad, right? The

14:04

survival brain is interested in the present

14:06

moment right now, fix everything,

14:09

don't feel bad, negative emotion should

14:11

be resolved quickly and through maybe

14:13

a cookie or a glass of

14:15

wine or something, right? That's our

14:17

survival brain. And we

14:20

have that on board, right? That's

14:22

going to be within our entire

14:24

life. But as humans

14:26

that have evolved, we also have

14:29

the prefrontal cortex part of our

14:31

brain that is able to make

14:33

decisions in the long term. And

14:36

I believe that my level of

14:38

success and my level of creating

14:40

the life that I actually want

14:43

to live is equivalent

14:45

to the number of decisions I make

14:47

with my prefrontal cortex. Because

14:50

in order to develop the ability

14:52

of determination, I have to be

14:55

overriding that survival brain which constantly

14:57

wants to quit and run in

14:59

the cave. It constantly wants

15:01

to seek the relief of not feeling

15:04

the pressure, not going through the hard

15:06

thing, not expending the energy, not feeling

15:08

the pain, you know, pursuing the pleasure.

15:11

And so the more I can make

15:14

decisions from that brain, the better off

15:16

I'm going to be. And

15:18

one of the ways that I determine whether

15:20

I am making a decision with my prefrontal

15:22

cortex or with my survival brain is how

15:25

much of a hurry am I in. And

15:27

if I'm in a hurry to eat the food

15:29

or get the drink or get out of pain

15:32

or achieve the results, I know that

15:34

I'm in my survival brain. It's

15:36

interesting when you think about goals and even

15:38

business goals for people. You know, I have students

15:40

that will come to me and they'll be like,

15:42

I've tried this and I've tried this and it's

15:44

just not working yet. I just don't have the

15:46

result yet. I haven't made the money yet or

15:48

I haven't gotten the clients yet or I haven't

15:50

achieved the goal yet. And I'm

15:52

very frustrated that I'm not there yet. That

15:55

is your survival brain wanting to get to

15:57

a place that is better than this place. the

16:00

belief that there is a moment

16:02

in time where I am going

16:04

to be safer, better, more accomplished,

16:06

happier in the future because of

16:08

some external circumstance than I am

16:10

now. And of course we know, if

16:12

you study my work at all and you buy into

16:14

the belief that life was always gonna be 50-50, it's

16:17

always gonna be a balance of

16:19

positive and negative, then you

16:21

won't be in such a hurry to get

16:23

to the place where everything is

16:25

rainbows and daisies because that place doesn't exist. I

16:27

think it might exist when we pass, but it

16:30

doesn't exist in this world. That's not the purpose

16:32

of this world. So

16:34

what is the point then? If we're just gonna go from

16:36

50-50 to 50-50, what is the point? And

16:39

the point is to develop ourselves as

16:42

human to the highest capacity as we

16:44

can because of how awesome

16:46

that journey is. And

16:49

if I do anything in

16:51

my life, it is to

16:53

sell people on the journey

16:55

of exploring their own capacity

16:57

through obstacles, through

16:59

challenges, through setting

17:02

impossible goals that

17:04

have impossible mountains to climb in order

17:06

to achieve them for the mere sake

17:08

of seeing what we're made of, for

17:11

the mere sake of blowing our own

17:13

damn minds and seeing what we are

17:15

capable of, what is possible for our

17:18

lifetimes. That is my commitment to myself,

17:20

that is also what I want to

17:22

be an example of. This is why

17:25

I have this amazing goal of making

17:27

$100 million in a year to

17:30

be an example of what is possible

17:32

when you are willing to manage your

17:35

own mind and hopefully inspire

17:37

other people to go on that journey

17:39

and see what's possible for them that

17:41

maybe they never even considered was a

17:43

possibility for them. The

17:46

level of pride that I feel

17:48

when I stay committed to something,

17:50

even though it's hard, when I

17:52

say stay determined to doing something

17:55

even though it's hard, is

17:57

one of the best feelings of my life. In

18:00

order to have one of the best feelings in my life,

18:02

I have to go through some pretty heavy

18:04

negative feelings in order to get there. So

18:07

that is the rub. But

18:10

it's also when you understand

18:12

that, it's also the process

18:14

that keeps you focused on

18:16

long-term thinking. So

18:18

determined people are typically focused

18:20

on the long-term, but

18:23

not at the expense of the

18:25

short-term, because we understand that the

18:27

decision to succeed, the decision to

18:30

achieve a goal requires many decisions

18:32

along the way to keep going.

18:35

Many decisions along the way not

18:37

to quit. So if you

18:39

ask me, okay Brooke, I'm

18:41

in, how do I create more

18:44

determination in my life? I would

18:46

say make more decisions that do

18:48

the following. Make

18:51

a decision that overcomes your

18:53

fear, that doesn't let your fear rule

18:55

the day. That

18:58

survival brain, whenever it gets

19:00

afraid, wants to run away,

19:02

wants to hide. Developing

19:05

determination means you choose to overcome

19:07

it instead. The second

19:10

thing is you choose to

19:12

withstand temptation, urges,

19:16

escapes. You recognize

19:18

them, you see them, you allow

19:20

them to be there, but you

19:22

do not consistently give in to them.

19:26

That temptation to stay in bed when you want

19:28

to be working, that temptation to hide when you

19:30

need to be showing up, that temptation to skip

19:32

your sales calls when you have an opportunity to

19:34

let someone know that you can help, and you

19:37

help them make a decision to move forward in

19:39

their own life. The

19:41

third one is you make a decision

19:43

to continuously take action no matter if

19:45

you're going to fail or succeed, constant

19:48

movement toward your goal. If

19:51

you think about it like the metaphor of trying to

19:53

find your path to the top of the mountain, and

19:56

you think about you taking a wrong turn, you're

19:58

not just standing there trying to figure out

20:01

at the fork in the road, you're actually

20:03

walking on the path to see if it

20:05

is the correct path. And if it's not,

20:07

you'll know soon enough you can turn around,

20:09

come back and get on the right path.

20:11

That detour is not wasted, because now you

20:14

know, and you continuously are

20:16

taking action. So many of us, we

20:18

don't want to take action unless we

20:20

know it's the right action, so we

20:22

end up being immobilized. One

20:24

of the best ways to stay determined

20:26

is to be constantly taking action. The

20:29

fourth thing is you're constantly learning

20:31

from failure. You're letting yourself fail

20:33

quick and fail often, and you're

20:35

learning from it. You're using it

20:37

as fuel, you're using it as

20:39

knowledge, you're using it as a

20:41

way to build strength and continuously

20:43

take action to move forward. I

20:45

did that, I tried that, it didn't work. I'm

20:47

not making this mean that my goal won't work,

20:50

I'm not making it mean that I won't work,

20:52

I am learning from it and moving on. One

20:55

of the kind of surprising

20:57

things about determination and I

21:00

think resiliency and making the

21:02

decision to keep going is

21:05

celebrating and not resenting

21:07

the success of others.

21:10

It's such an interesting perspective that

21:13

I have as a teacher to

21:15

see how my students feel about

21:17

other students winning and what they

21:19

say about them and what they say

21:22

about me and my success. People

21:24

that are determined to have

21:26

success for themselves, I

21:28

notice that they celebrate the success of

21:30

others. They're so excited and inspired and

21:32

they have so much admiration for people

21:34

who are winning. And those of us

21:36

who don't have as much determination to

21:38

keep moving forward, those of us who

21:40

wanna quit, kind of put down

21:43

the success of others. It almost makes them

21:45

hyper aware that they didn't keep going, that

21:47

they didn't keep trying, that they gave up.

21:49

And so in order to feel good about

21:52

that, they put down the success of others.

21:54

So deciding to celebrate other

21:56

people's wins, other people's success is a

21:58

huge part of it. determination.

22:01

The next one is honoring your word to

22:03

yourself. So when you make these decisions

22:06

with your prefrontal cortex, when you decide

22:08

ahead of time what you're going to

22:10

do tomorrow, what you're going to do

22:12

in the future, when you

22:14

are then in that moment where the

22:17

decision has been made for you by

22:19

you ahead of time, you honor that

22:21

for yourself. You have enough respect and

22:24

enough commitment to yourself and enough

22:26

love for yourself that you are

22:28

determined to deliver to yourself what

22:30

you have asked of yourself. One

22:33

of the most important qualities you

22:35

can have for achieving your goals.

22:38

Determination is I am not going to let myself

22:40

down. I told myself I would do this thing.

22:42

I told myself I'd go to the gym. I

22:45

told myself I would eat this food. I told

22:47

myself I would, you know, write this

22:49

Instagram post and do these sales

22:51

calls and create this content and

22:53

I will because I

22:55

honor the highest part of my

22:58

brain which wants what is best

23:00

for me. And then the

23:02

last thing is determination is really

23:04

determined by not allowing any

23:07

little quits, right? It's

23:10

not the big quits, the

23:12

big decisions to quit that normally

23:14

get us. It's the little tiny

23:16

decisions all throughout the day

23:19

that add up to the big quit.

23:21

It's a pile of little quits. So

23:24

that day where you're like it won't matter if

23:26

I just do this and I don't really need

23:29

to do this little thing and this little thing

23:31

won't really have an effect. But the

23:33

truth is every single time

23:35

you decide not to do a

23:38

little quit, every single

23:40

time you decide to honor

23:42

yourself, you build up your

23:44

ability to remain determined

23:47

towards your goal. And

23:50

as you create more determination,

23:52

the strategic byproducts of that

23:55

are more patience, more discipline,

23:57

more persistence. It's like

23:59

a win-win win-win. I

24:01

am a determined person and

24:03

I love that about myself. I love knowing

24:05

that about myself because then when I

24:07

look at the world, I can allow

24:10

myself to want because when

24:12

I want something, I know that it

24:14

just takes the determination that I have

24:16

inside of me in order to get

24:18

it and that is an amazing

24:20

way to live in the world. It's amazing

24:22

to look into the world,

24:25

see what's possible, determine what I

24:27

want and then be determined to

24:29

get it. It's simple

24:31

mentally, it's simple conceptually, it's

24:33

difficult to execute but that's

24:36

what makes it so delicious.

24:39

Signing up for the difficult thing

24:41

to see that I am capable

24:43

of doing it. I

24:46

believe the development of high

24:48

determination is an accomplishment in

24:50

itself. Listen, I say this

24:52

so many times but I want to make

24:54

sure you really hear me. It doesn't matter

24:56

so much if you get to the goal

24:58

ultimately as much as

25:01

you believe and who you

25:03

become in the process of

25:05

overcoming the obstacles on your

25:07

way to it. Think

25:10

about this, you may never achieve that

25:12

goal of that thing that you want

25:14

ever. So you could

25:16

just not do anything and get the

25:18

same result, right? Well,

25:21

I know I'm never going to make a

25:23

million dollars, I'm committed that

25:25

I can't do that and

25:27

so therefore, I won't even try and I'll

25:29

be just as well off. I

25:32

totally disagree. I think

25:34

you are way better off for having

25:36

bet on yourself, for having gone all

25:39

in, for having made the effort, for

25:41

having gotten the education, for having made

25:43

the attempt to do it. I

25:45

think you are way better off if

25:48

you try and fail than if you never try at all and

25:50

you can question that for yourself and

25:52

the bigger the goal, the more impossible the

25:54

goal, the more skill you're going

25:56

to develop, the more strength you're going to develop

25:59

for yourself. Ask yourself this

26:01

question, it's like do you like yourself for going

26:03

all in, for betting on yourself and for not

26:05

giving up? Do you think that that

26:07

would ever be some disappointment that

26:10

you would have in yourself? Well,

26:12

I wish I'd never tried. I wish I never would

26:14

have gone into myself and I wish I would have

26:16

given up sooner. I said no one ever. I

26:19

mean probably that's not true. Probably

26:21

people like that they've given up. But most

26:23

of the people following me, most of the

26:25

people that want to learn from

26:27

me are people that want to achieve big, great,

26:29

amazing things with their life. And

26:32

it's staying committed to that

26:34

determination, to doing that thing when all

26:36

the evidence makes it easier to quit.

26:39

That's the trick, right? When you can say to a

26:42

friend, well this happened and this happened and this happened

26:44

and this happened, they were like, well why don't you

26:46

just quit? This seems like really hard. This seems like

26:48

it's making you cry. This seems like it's making you

26:50

upset. Why don't you just quit and go

26:52

back to your job? Or why don't you just quit and

26:54

do this instead? Or why don't you just quit and accept

26:56

where you are? And the reason is,

26:58

is because you want to stay committed

27:02

to the decision that you made and

27:04

see what's possible if you don't quit.

27:07

I think there's two main reasons

27:10

that I see that people give

27:12

up their determination and quit. And

27:14

hopefully these could be like red flags for you

27:17

if maybe you see them in yourself. The

27:20

first one is, there's a lot

27:22

of us who have this sense

27:24

of like entitlement for

27:26

it to be easier. We

27:29

don't want to be challenged. We

27:31

don't want to have to go

27:34

through the difficulties, especially if they're

27:36

self-imposed, because life is so hard

27:38

already. Why would we make it

27:40

even harder? And we feel more entitled

27:42

to an easier life. And

27:45

what I always try and teach those

27:47

people is that yes, you can make

27:49

this moment easier on yourself, but your

27:51

long-term life will be harder if

27:54

you aren't committed to bettering it

27:56

in the long run. And the second

27:58

one that I... I see with

28:00

a lot of people is just

28:03

an intense amount of self-doubt and

28:05

self-criticism and not believing in our

28:07

own capacity before we've actually achieved

28:10

it. And I just want

28:12

to tell the people that are having all

28:14

of this intense doubt is that is very

28:16

normal. If you haven't exercised your own capacity

28:18

and developed your own ability to achieve that

28:21

thing, you're going to have doubts that you

28:23

can do it because you don't have any

28:25

evidence. And so

28:27

that is the process. The process

28:29

is taking action, committing to action,

28:32

not quitting despite there being

28:34

no evidence of your success yet. That

28:37

is in a nutshell what determination

28:39

is. We

28:41

need determination as humans because we

28:44

are inclined to quit. We're inclined

28:46

to take the easy way out.

28:48

We're inclined not to move forward.

28:52

And so we have to use

28:54

the higher part of our brain

28:56

to overcome the lower part of

28:58

our brain in order to evolve

29:00

and to express our human ingenuity

29:02

and to create better lives for

29:04

us, for other people, for the

29:07

world by stepping out there

29:09

and doing things we've never done before with

29:11

no evidence that we can succeed. The

29:13

answer is by developing your determination

29:15

and never quitting. So

29:18

that's what I have for you today, my friends. I

29:20

hope that all of you will sit back and think

29:23

about your own determination and where you want to develop

29:25

it and where you want to

29:27

build it and what result you want to

29:29

focus on in order to do that. 2024

29:33

is going to be an amazing year for us

29:35

to be doing that together. If you want to

29:37

join me in Scholars, I would love to do

29:39

that with you. I'm going to be doing it

29:41

myself personally and I'll share with you the entire

29:44

process. Have a beautiful week, everyone. See you soon.

29:47

Bye. Bye. If you've ever wanted

29:49

to work with me as your coach,

29:51

now is the time to do

29:53

it. You

29:55

can join me in Get

29:57

Coached in Scholars by going

30:00

to the Blight lifecoachschool.com forward

30:02

slash join. This

30:05

is going to be the best

30:07

year ever. It's

30:10

your turn to change your life.