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Transform your sexual pleasure in midlife, with Sam Evans

Transform your sexual pleasure in midlife, with Sam Evans

Released Friday, 9th February 2024
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Transform your sexual pleasure in midlife, with Sam Evans

Transform your sexual pleasure in midlife, with Sam Evans

Transform your sexual pleasure in midlife, with Sam Evans

Transform your sexual pleasure in midlife, with Sam Evans

Friday, 9th February 2024
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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0:00

It's about quality of life. It's about,

0:03

you know, what's the point? I'm not talking about sex.

0:06

I'm talking about being able just to sit

0:08

down, you know, to work,

0:10

to stand, to do your hobbies, ride

0:12

your bike, wear your favourite pair of

0:14

trousers, you know, and then let alone

0:16

the sex side of it, you know,

0:18

the fact is that women won't have

0:20

sex because every time they have sex,

0:22

they get cystitis and a UTI. Well,

0:24

that's not sexy at all or pleasurable.

0:29

A former nurse, sex toy shop

0:31

owner, Sam Evans, is passionate about

0:33

products that increase our sexual pleasure

0:36

rather than our pain and irritation.

0:39

Well, this is the Liz Earle Wellbeing

0:41

Show, the podcast helping us all have

0:43

a better second half. I'm Liz

0:45

Earle and I'm on a bit of a mission

0:47

to find ways for all of us to thrive

0:49

in later life by investing in our health and

0:51

our well-being today. Well, if you

0:53

are a regular listener of this show,

0:55

you probably think quite carefully, spend time

0:57

and maybe money on great skincare

1:00

or hair care or supplements, but

1:02

do you give the same attention

1:04

to the health and care of

1:06

your vulva and vagina? Now, by

1:08

now, you know that I am

1:10

forensic about reading ingredient lists on

1:12

food packets and beauty products and

1:15

Sam Evans also likes to

1:17

think of herself as an

1:19

ingredients detective. She co-owns Joe

1:22

Devine, an online store that

1:24

sells only skin safe products.

1:26

Her area of expertise is

1:29

lubricants, moisturizers and sex

1:31

toys. Well, I have to say, hands

1:33

up here, this is something that is

1:35

way out of my area of expertise.

1:37

So, I am so looking forward to

1:39

a bit of good education here and

1:41

of course with Valentine's Day coming up,

1:43

I want to make sure that you

1:46

feel good, really good in your body,

1:48

whatever your age. So, do we need

1:50

to be buying intimate hygiene products to

1:52

stay clean and why does it matter

1:54

what material our sex toys may be

1:56

made from and can a good lube

1:58

really transform our sex? Next slide. Welcome

2:01

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Salads generally for most people are the easy

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to two pounds per week. And the video may vary. Well,

3:15

Sam, what a pleasure to have you here.

3:18

This, I think, is going to be a very interesting

3:21

deep dive. Thank you. Thank you for inviting me. Yes,

3:23

it is one of my favorite topics. Love it. So

3:27

you trained as a nurse. And is that where your interest stemmed in

3:29

the genital area and what can and can't go wrong

3:39

there? No, actually, my background was

3:42

renal and then occupational health, hence

3:44

my passion for health promotion. But

3:47

actually, we set up the company with

3:50

an idea that there were some skin-safe

3:52

and irritant-free products out there. And it

3:54

was actually using these products, which transformed

3:57

my intimate health and our sex life because it was

3:59

the only one. light bulb

4:01

moment that actually the products we've been

4:03

using had caused all my

4:05

problems, my infections for 20 years.

4:07

The well known products that are

4:10

still out there that are still

4:12

recommended. And so, you know, I

4:14

say that yes, organic oil post

4:17

lubricants, you've got a sex life.

4:20

And I will talk about that

4:22

today, which is why I'm so

4:24

passionate about this because I advise

4:27

so many people who experience issues.

4:29

And as you said about, you know, people

4:31

caring about what they eat and what's in

4:33

their skincare products, then no thought

4:35

to what they put on their vulva and

4:37

inside their vagina. Yeah, which is obviously super

4:40

sensitive area and probably more in need of

4:42

gentle cares and many other areas. And also,

4:44

you know, you need to look after it.

4:47

You know, we moisturise our skin, you know, morning

4:49

and night, but we give no thought to our

4:51

poor old vulva and vagina that actually needs just

4:54

as much care too. So yes,

4:56

in my background, yes, nursing has really

4:58

helped because obviously I can come at it from

5:00

a clinical point of view, I understand a lot

5:02

of the health issues that are out there. But

5:04

I've also had my own sexual health issues, which

5:07

I'm happy to share with people. And often

5:09

people feel like they're the only person going

5:11

through this issue. And I go, well, actually,

5:13

no, I started from that. And that's your

5:15

I've overcome it. So there's nothing like first

5:17

hand experience. You know, I interviewed a lot

5:20

of brand founders and the strongest are those

5:22

who have had issues and problems

5:24

and found ways to overcome them.

5:26

Firstly, can we kick off really

5:28

with the view here that a good

5:30

lubricant can transform our

5:33

sex lives and why

5:35

that should be the case? Yeah, I mean,

5:37

very much so, you know, our lubricants are

5:39

the top selling products for us. They're the

5:41

thing that I get asked the most about.

5:43

It's the first thing that most people turn

5:46

to in midlife or going through the menopause

5:48

because vaginal dryness is an issue. But actually,

5:50

you don't need to have a dino dino

5:52

to use a lead. We know using a

5:54

good lead can transform your sexual pleasure. And

5:56

maybe your sex they last longer. But the

5:58

problem is we have so many

6:00

products that contain irritating ingredients. And we

6:03

now have the clinical evidence based research

6:05

about some of these ingredients that they're

6:07

actually not good for our intimate health.

6:10

And often people will be using a

6:12

lubricant like I did, that

6:15

cause so many problems, I have no idea with our

6:17

lubes. And you know, you constantly

6:20

you get thrash, you treat yourself,

6:22

you know, you go back to using your lube, or

6:24

you get cystitis or UTI, you get into your batteries

6:27

and your lube, you have no idea.

6:29

And actually, for us, people come to

6:31

us and say, I've tried so much and

6:34

all lubes are the same. I get that

6:36

from medical professionals, which drives me potty. No,

6:38

they're not. And, you know,

6:40

most people and medical professionals, they

6:42

say, it's fine to use some kind of your kitchen

6:44

or bathroom cupboard as long as it's slippery. Right. Okay.

6:48

It's not good for your intimate health.

6:50

Well, let's get into the lubricant ingredients

6:52

in a moment. But can you give

6:54

us a top line there on the

6:56

various different types? You know, I've seen

6:58

labels, water-based, silicon-based, oil-based. Yes. What

7:01

are the differences? And what can and

7:03

should we be using? So water-based is

7:05

the most common lubricant out there. It

7:07

is compatible with sex toys, with latex

7:10

condoms, and it is the

7:12

closest to your own natural lubrication. It's not

7:14

particularly long lasting. Having said that, we sell

7:16

sutile, luxe and rich, which is a water-based

7:19

lubricant, which is long-lasting. It's very unusual, and

7:21

I love it. And I'm the one customer

7:23

that. A lot

7:25

of the water-based lubricants out there contain

7:27

the rotating ingredients, so people don't like

7:29

them. And then you have oil-based

7:32

products. Now, I'm not talking about olive oil

7:34

and cooking oil and coconut oil out of

7:36

your kitchen or bathroom cupboard. I'm talking and

7:38

baby oil. I'm talking about products that have

7:41

been designed for intimate health. So, you know,

7:43

the only oil-based leave that we sell is

7:45

the yes, organic oil-based lubricant. But

7:47

oil-based products do destroy latex condoms,

7:49

and they linger inside the vagina

7:52

and the anus for

7:54

up to 24 hours. So If you're

7:56

then using condoms within that period, there's a potential

7:58

risk that the condoms will be damaged. Can be

8:00

done A synopsis they she's actually I've and

8:02

cretan think I'm and silicon the pretense of

8:04

from very slippery they have an innate that

8:07

a lot of people like eating them for.

8:09

The thing about so the to leave that

8:11

he sits on the skin they don't get

8:13

absorbed into the skin for the not nourishing

8:15

and hydrating lot for the was post and

8:18

lawyer by sleep that we fall and also

8:20

you can't use of the can leave for

8:22

silicon sex toys because they will give mr

8:24

selection of the sex toy. It leaves that

8:26

gray Nathan from the fight for to by

8:28

rubbing the fat and. I'm not Amish your

8:31

toy. You could potentially have a really expensive

8:33

toy and actually use it. Makes me feel

8:35

quite hockey the surface of the toys that

8:37

that's the difference. Thera hybrid so some the

8:40

other based in silicon. We don't sell them

8:42

because we already castle about the ingredients in

8:44

a product. But as the basically the three.

8:47

Okay, interesting. So silicon used on

8:49

sex toys is not is not

8:52

a good idea. Know.

8:54

Because it's silicon on silicon sights set

8:56

on if i it'll grains of sand

8:58

and so it causes an abrasion. said

9:00

the actually damages in the tip for

9:02

the what she damaged on the table

9:04

it makes it poorer. sedan it's not

9:06

as gun safe and the absorbed faatihah.

9:08

So. I'm in a that's really important

9:11

though some people will use of it's

9:13

a neighbor. The silicon choice if you're

9:15

using soft toy or metal toy or

9:17

plastic toy is perfectly fine For those

9:19

materials it's not going is obviously sincere

9:21

first miss. I mean the intimate house

9:23

market must be worth billions of an

9:25

it as the siege industries in a

9:27

you'd hope that it would follow that

9:29

as regulation putts around ingredients that that

9:31

are going in and around our bodies

9:33

is is that the case knife. There

9:35

are no regulations, rarely am and there

9:37

are some products. Are considered as medical

9:40

and products and there and it's Sta

9:42

regulations but neither is mean people can

9:44

put out any old products and uncertainty.

9:46

Now the sticky medical was on the

9:48

label and charging three times the price

9:50

and know any hunt and also people

9:52

well and white label product celibacy know

9:54

they'll get em in a something that

9:56

somebody else is selling that can put

9:58

their own modem on it. And

10:00

then sort of, you know, this is designed

10:02

for menopause. So I always say to people,

10:04

please check the label, you know, for anything.

10:08

I mean, that is a real red light

10:10

for me, actually, you know, things that say

10:12

for menopause, because it just seems like bandwagoning.

10:14

It's just, you know, they know that there's

10:16

rising awareness in menopause. So, you know, whether

10:18

it's a food supplement or, you know, lubricant

10:20

or something, it's just it's just cashing in

10:22

on something that shouldn't really be. You

10:24

shouldn't be needed, you know, because basically it's just a

10:26

stage of life. And, you know, we're going to need

10:28

good quality products and good quality supplements and lubes

10:31

and whatever stage of life. So let's

10:33

not, you know, let's not try and

10:35

make money out of some specific time

10:37

of life. I mean, is it because

10:39

it's all a bit hush hush from,

10:41

you know, if we're honest, a bit of

10:43

a quiet world that isn't properly recognized

10:45

because of its very nature. It's not

10:47

quite under medical regulation. It's also not

10:49

quite cosmetic. It kind of I guess

10:51

there's this open space, isn't it,

10:53

that just leaves us open for a

10:55

bit of misleading or potentially dangerous

10:57

products? I think so. And I

11:00

think obviously a lot of these well-known products have

11:02

been around for years. And so people see a

11:04

familiar name and they'll pick it up off the

11:06

shelf and they don't actually realize that the ingredients

11:08

are going to be causing them problems. So, you

11:11

know, it's it is really

11:13

difficult. And also there's products on prescription that

11:15

contain these irritating ingredients, you know, which is

11:17

really frustrating. But those products have been around

11:20

for years. And also, you know,

11:22

things being recommended by health care professionals

11:25

it's an influencer's and celebrities,

11:27

you know, it is I think,

11:29

you know, it's about finding what works

11:32

for you. If coke and oil

11:34

works for you, that's perfectly fine. But actually

11:36

a lot of people have irritation, but they

11:38

don't realize it's a lubricant or their moisturizer.

11:40

It's about your skin care regime, isn't it?

11:42

I think it's actually about finding something that

11:45

works for you in overtime. Obviously, things change.

11:47

And also, as I said, it's the first

11:49

time that people are often using a lubricant.

11:51

They've not required one. And

11:53

then they usually bit causes stinging, itching, irritation, not

11:55

just for a woman, but it could be for

11:57

their male partner, too. And then it puts them

11:59

off. fusing your loo. So, you

12:02

know, it's frustrating. I

12:04

guess the one that springs to mind, which I

12:06

mean, probably was the forerunner of all of

12:08

these is KY jelly. I mean, I

12:10

just remember saying that on the shelf, you know, even

12:12

as a young child and it's still going

12:14

strong. What sort of what formulation

12:17

is that? What is that made with? And is

12:19

that something that we should perhaps move on from

12:21

now? It's the lubricant

12:23

that destroyed my intimate health and sex life. How

12:25

was that so damaging for you? What was the

12:27

particular ingredient? Do you know? It was glycerin and

12:29

propylene glycol. But actually I was on the pill.

12:31

I was 23, met my husband. I was on

12:34

the pill. Didn't know that that caused the dino

12:36

dryness. So I got the dino dryness. And

12:38

so, you know, Paul went out and bought lube. And

12:41

so every time we use the lube,

12:43

I started to get infections. So thrush,

12:45

bacterial vaginosis, the fisci smelling discharge that

12:48

you need antibiotics for, cystitis, urinary tract

12:50

infections. And at that time you had

12:52

to get canister from your GP. You

12:54

couldn't get it over the counter. And

12:57

the intimate washes weren't as many, but there were

12:59

a few and I did try them and

13:01

they were exacerbating problems. I went to the local

13:03

health food shop to get my live yogurt because

13:05

there was nothing available in the supermarket. We'd dip

13:08

a tampon in it and put a few drops

13:10

of tea tree oil. I mean, the worst thing you could

13:12

do. Yeah. Inside my vagina

13:14

for any relief. But every time

13:16

we had sex, I'd be

13:18

lying there thinking, am I going to be up all

13:20

night on the lube with cystitis? Am I going to

13:22

be itching on the wall with the smother with thrush?

13:24

That in turn led to vaginismus whereby

13:26

my pelvic floor muscles tightened and that

13:28

made sex very painful. I'd never heard

13:30

of it. I got a diagnosis at

13:33

30, got offered stress management. Not

13:35

one doctor asked me about my

13:37

sex life. What was

13:39

the washing my sex life? No, nobody asked

13:41

me even what was I washing myself with

13:43

it with? You know, common things. I know,

13:45

am I scrubbing myself with something? You know,

13:48

what washing powder was, no, although things that

13:50

I go through now with people and say,

13:52

well, what are you doing that could be

13:54

causing this problem and all

13:56

these prescriptions. And

13:59

it wasn't until we started. up Josie Rine, we

14:01

started using the S oil base and

14:03

within a few days I remember saying

14:05

oh I haven't had any

14:07

irritation and that light came on. Which

14:10

is why I'm really passionate about this and

14:12

I will call out those brands, they were

14:14

the brands I used but they're not the

14:16

only ones. They're also me. So

14:18

Blisserine and properly Glycol, are they

14:21

common irritants then for women and

14:23

do many of the women that

14:25

call you and speak to you

14:27

have issues with things like cystitis,

14:30

recurrent UTIs etc. and you

14:32

think that those two particular ingredients, even if

14:34

you do nothing else in your life, if

14:36

you screen those out, that

14:38

you'll give yourself a better chance of some

14:40

vaginal health. Definitely, I mean

14:42

Glycerine is a sugar, creates a sugar

14:44

environment inside the vagina and that encourages

14:47

thrush to thrive. It's a well known

14:49

irritant. Propylene Glycol is the one ingredient

14:51

that it will disrupt the sort of natural

14:53

flora inside your vagina but also it causes

14:56

stinging and that's often the ingredient that people

14:58

say oh it stung when I put it

15:00

on and so those two things and so

15:02

we have brands now saying oh it's Glycerine

15:04

free, it's Parabens free but it's still got

15:06

Propylene Glycol in it. And

15:08

also Parabens are preservatives in a

15:10

lot of products and they are

15:12

weak hormone destructions but they are irritants and

15:15

you've got dyes and perfumes, alcohol, we all

15:17

know that that causes irritation and Glycerine. I

15:20

mean really, do you really need to rise

15:22

up your bit? I mean well maybe, I

15:24

mean anyway. I

15:33

was going to say the other ingredient that's

15:35

just recently sort of in the last couple

15:37

of years is in lubes is CBD. Now

15:40

we actually don't know what CBD does to

15:42

the microbiome of the vagina. There is no

15:44

clinical evidence based research. We know what the

15:47

other ingredients that I just talked about do

15:49

do because there has been research done on

15:51

that and also it's often

15:53

the carrier lube ingredients as

15:55

well aren't great but we get contacted by

15:57

CBD lube companies saying it will be great.

16:00

great for your website. You'll go, well, actually,

16:02

until you show me where's the evidence and

16:04

it's all anecdotal. As I said,

16:07

it's about finding what works for you. But

16:09

if you're somebody who has had sensitivities or

16:11

are finding that you're using a product and

16:13

you're now getting thrash or cystitis, then, you

16:15

know, those, these are the things that you

16:17

should be looking at. So

16:19

at Joe Devine, you say that

16:22

you only sell skin safe toys

16:24

and irritant free lubricants and

16:26

moisturizers. What exactly does

16:29

that mean then? So, for example, if I

16:31

went onto your website and looked at lubes,

16:33

there wouldn't be anything there that contains glycerine

16:35

or propylene glycol. No, basically, we

16:37

only sell three brands. We sell

16:39

the S-organic lubricants, the water-based, the

16:41

oil basins of a dino moisturizer.

16:43

We sell sutile, luxe and rich,

16:45

made from organic and botanical ingredients,

16:47

their long-lasting water-based lubricants. And we

16:49

sell one silicone lubricant, which actually

16:51

is the lube that lubricates

16:54

our condoms. Skin condoms are

16:56

lubricated, irritating lubes. So people

16:58

often think they have a latex allergy.

17:00

They're actually irritated by the ingredients

17:02

in the lube on the condom or the lube

17:05

that they're using with the condoms. So

17:07

our condoms are lubricated with silicone

17:09

lube. It's, you know, these ingredients

17:11

we know are good for skin

17:13

care. And that's the reason

17:16

why we only sell these lubricants.

17:19

And also, they are, you

17:21

know, made from botanical ingredients,

17:23

organic ingredients and also they're

17:25

ethically sourced and ethically farmed.

17:28

Again, that's another big issue. We have

17:30

palm oil in products and obviously we

17:33

shouldn't be using palm oil, you

17:35

know, because of the rain forest. Well, if it's

17:37

not from a... If it's not from

17:39

a... Yeah, yeah. If it's not from

17:41

a renewable source. And, you know, and

17:44

things like coconut oil, monkeys on chains

17:46

farm the coconuts. And also,

17:48

you know, a lot of stuff is, you

17:51

know, it is the botanical part of a

17:53

plant or, you know, it's been grown in

17:55

a... You know, it's been farmed in a

17:57

field, you know, that is good.

18:00

So, and the two brands

18:02

that we sell, the Yes and

18:04

the CTL, they're small companies, dead

18:06

by women who had

18:09

problems themselves and decided to set up,

18:11

find a solution, and

18:14

they know that these ingredients are good. Fascinating, I

18:16

hope that this is a podcast and actually episode

18:19

that women will listen to and share with their

18:21

girlfriends. It's just such a simple

18:23

switch, isn't it? One thing I want to ask you

18:25

actually, before we move off the subject of lubes, is

18:27

I was doing a podcast recently, I think towards the

18:29

middle of last year, with a sex therapist, and at

18:31

the very end, we just touched on the subject of

18:34

lubes, and she was saying about

18:36

a technique that she was recommending, you're probably

18:38

all over this, but I'd never heard of

18:40

it before, called Slide and Glide. Yeah,

18:42

it's called a glide. Where, okay, so tell

18:44

us about this. So for those that missed

18:46

it, it was basically, and I didn't really

18:48

understand it because I hadn't had this full

18:50

conversation about the ingredients in lubes, but she

18:52

was saying that if one partner uses one

18:55

type of lube, for example,

18:57

silicon, and the other uses another type

18:59

that's, I don't know, oil or water-based,

19:01

that you get sort of double the

19:03

benefit. Is that right, and how does

19:05

that work exactly? And I

19:08

don't generally recommend it with silicon lubes, but

19:10

yes, actually have a double glide pack. So

19:13

you have a tube of the water-based and

19:15

the tube of the oil-based, but you can

19:17

use the yes oil-based with soutil as well,

19:19

because that's water-based. So basically, you put the

19:21

oil-based on first, so you can either put

19:23

it on yourself or on a partner, and

19:25

then the water-based on top, because

19:28

water and oil don't mix, it

19:30

creates a slide, a

19:33

slippy sensation. So actually, it

19:35

is slippier, and also it's

19:37

longer lasting, because

19:39

the two ingredients don't actually mix. They

19:41

move over each other. Okay, so you

19:43

could put both on yourself, or

19:46

you could split, and one partner have one, and

19:48

one partner the other. And in a refuse, it

19:50

pulls the oil-based on himself, and then I'll put

19:53

water-based on me. We do that with the soutil

19:55

sometimes, and that works really, really well. But

19:58

it just makes it longer lasting. And as

20:00

I said, the problem with water-based lubricants,

20:02

they're not particularly long-lasting, you have to

20:04

reapply them, or you can reactivate them

20:07

with water. The thing with soutille, it

20:09

is long-lasting because it interacts with your

20:11

own natural lubrication to make you

20:13

feel more lubricated, which feels really natural because

20:15

it is your own natural lubrication. I've

20:18

never actually experienced that sensation

20:20

before of feeling so well

20:23

lubricated and it's so nourishing, it's got hyaluronic

20:25

acid in it. So I think I'm not

20:27

even quite sure how it works, but it's

20:29

doing something to your natural lubrication. So it's

20:31

promoting your own

20:36

natural lubrication because a lubricant should feel

20:38

natural, not intrusive. And the problem is,

20:40

I love the products out there, you

20:43

know, and I would say even with the yes

20:45

oil-based a little bit, when you get used to

20:47

it, it's fine. And I loved it and it

20:49

saved off tax life and my intimate health. But

20:51

even that takes a little bit of getting used to

20:53

it. I'm using a lead, paper's getting used

20:55

to because if you'd never used on the

20:57

spot, and also still we still have the

20:59

stigma of, well, I shouldn't need a lead,

21:01

I should be instantly wet. And actually people

21:03

of any age, you know, we

21:06

know so many things impact upon your natural

21:08

lubrication, not just menopause and midlife and getting

21:10

older. You know, there's so many things that

21:13

affect your natural lubrication, as I mentioned, the

21:15

oral contraceptive pill, but cancer

21:17

treatments and breastfeeding, you know,

21:19

and side effects and medication,

21:22

antihistamines, which a lot of menopause or

21:24

women take, I take one. Yeah, so I

21:26

get itchy skin, which is formication caused

21:28

by the estrogen depleting. And

21:30

I take a really strong antihistamine when

21:32

I need it. And people don't, because

21:34

it dries up your natural mucosa secretions,

21:36

your nose, and to stop

21:39

you sneezing and your streaming eyes. And

21:41

so it impacts upon your natural lubrication

21:43

in your vagina too. Extraordinary. Where does

21:45

this leave us with things like flavoured

21:48

lubricants and then sort of, you know,

21:50

light harsh advice about spicing up your

21:52

sex life with novelties like tingling or

21:55

colourful, you talked about glitter, you know,

21:57

glow in the dark mad things. What's

21:59

your job? on novelties like that. Are

22:02

they worth it? Are they just kind of neutral?

22:04

Are they damaging? Are they kind of fun to

22:06

play with if you fancy it or just leave

22:08

it alone? A lot of the

22:10

ingredients aren't very good for you. And there

22:12

are, you know, we write, I've written on

22:14

the website, you know, just to avoid it.

22:16

If you're going to use these products and

22:18

apply them with caution, just do a little

22:20

skin test to do it on the outer

22:22

labia, on the lips. And

22:24

then if you're finding it's a problem. I

22:27

mean, I tried a product the other day,

22:29

which was a tingling clitoral stimulator. And I

22:31

had to wash it off straight away. Tiny

22:33

little amount I put on my clitoris. It

22:35

was, it felt like it was burning. But,

22:38

you know, and I feel like my intimate health is really

22:40

good because of what I've done and the products that I

22:43

use now it's much better than it was years ago. So,

22:45

you know, I just say and that some

22:47

people love them and flavored leaves, I say great

22:49

use them for oral sex then if you want

22:52

to, but I, you know, I would just say

22:54

are on the side of caution, but there are

22:56

people out there saying, Oh, I never have a

22:58

problem. I call these people, they have cast iron

23:00

vaginas. People who will

23:03

never get such even though that we know something

23:05

like 75% of people with a vagina will

23:08

get about a thrash and it's the

23:10

top three Google terms on Google. Really?

23:13

Yeah, because it's so prevalent. And so, you know, and

23:15

there'll be people out there who, you know, I have

23:17

women who've never had a UTI and they come to

23:20

me and they're absolutely distraught. And I said, well, I'm

23:22

sure you've got a UTI, I have 20 years of

23:24

that, you know, but it's like, well, there is something

23:26

you can do about this. This is the reason why

23:28

you're getting it, you know, so, but there's some people

23:31

out there who for whom they could use anything and

23:33

it would be fine. But for a lot of us,

23:36

you know, these ingredients are not good. So

23:38

I would err on the side of caution

23:40

and just do a skin test and then

23:42

anything that burns, stings, itches,

23:45

wash it off because that's

23:47

not sexy nor pleasurable. Absolutely.

23:50

Well, stay there Sam, because I feel that

23:52

we've only just scratched the surface to excuse

23:55

the pun. When we come back in a

23:57

moment, I really want to talk more about

23:59

intimate hygiene. products, he's kind of cleansing

24:01

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26:37

the intimate hygiene market was created

26:39

to kindly solve a, quote, problem

26:41

for us that maybe doesn't even

26:43

exist in the first place. You

26:45

know, our vaginas, the self-cleaning and

26:48

in fact, using some of these products that promise to

26:50

make us cleaner or smell better or whatever

26:53

might be actually causing these problems in the first

26:55

place. Do you I mean, do you think that's

26:57

a fair take on it, Sam? Oh,

26:59

completely. Yeah. I mean, rises

27:01

in sort of vaginitis, the irritation. I

27:04

know it's huge. And this

27:06

market is worth billions. And

27:08

I know this year there's going to

27:10

be even more products launched, I've been

27:12

advised. And the problem is

27:14

because they're sitting there on the shelves in our

27:17

supermarkets and our chemists, people assume they're fine to

27:19

use and they should be using them. But as

27:21

you said, the industry was

27:23

created for a problem that doesn't actually exist.

27:26

It's actually caused a

27:29

lot of problems, which means then these

27:31

brands can sell you treatments and

27:34

things to resolve the problems that

27:36

they cause. I mean, that's crazy. You know,

27:38

isn't it? You know, something like, you know,

27:40

say, for example, just picking words out of

27:42

the air here, not mentioning, you know, not

27:44

particularly throwing rocks at any brands. But as

27:46

you talked about KY jelly in the beginning,

27:49

supposing somebody was using that, has an issue,

27:51

develops cystitis, develops thrush, goes on to buy

27:53

canistan or whatever to get rid of the

27:55

thrush, then ends up with a vagina that's

27:57

still not smelling great, then buys scented products

27:59

to put that. I mean the whole thing, you

28:01

know, I mean it's a pharmaceutical marketing

28:03

dream, isn't it? Because you're creating the problem

28:05

in the first place and then selling endless

28:08

products to try and make it better. Yeah,

28:10

and it's really frustrating because even some medical professionals, I

28:12

had a woman the other day, and she said she's

28:14

been advised to use a leading

28:17

brand. Well clearly, she had vaginal atrophy.

28:19

She needed vaginal estrogen and good lube

28:21

and a moisturiser. She certainly didn't use

28:23

that wash. But the problem is, as

28:25

soon as you put these products on

28:27

the shelf, people assume that they need

28:29

to use them. And also

28:31

within some cultures, you know, cleaning the

28:33

vulva area, you know, scrubbing it, you

28:35

know, is the norm. And also steaming,

28:37

you know, that's part of some cultures

28:40

as well. And I think, you know,

28:42

we're learning so much more about the

28:44

microbiome of the vagina. You know, we're

28:46

learning about the microbiome of our gut,

28:48

but our vagina in particular. The

28:51

problem is, you know, I get sent every

28:53

week someone will say, have you seen this product? Have

28:55

you seen that product? You know, I do the eye

28:57

rolling. I've got a t-shirt now. But you

29:00

know, we don't sell any inset washes,

29:03

be they organic or anything. Because

29:05

my view is you should just wash with

29:07

water. And if you need to use something,

29:10

your doctor can prescribe a gentle emollient,

29:13

which, you know, they're available on prescription.

29:16

They are available over the counter. And

29:18

that's what a lot of vulva dermatologists

29:20

will recommend to their patients who are

29:23

experiencing, you know, vulva skin issues. But

29:26

yeah, these products, so basically they perpetuate the

29:28

myths that the vagina smells that you need

29:30

to be washing away. The vagina has a

29:32

natural smell and that changes throughout the month,

29:34

you know, and also partners can perpetuate that

29:37

myth, can't they? Women will feel shame because

29:39

the partner says they smell. Well, you know, where are

29:42

all the willy washes? There are actually

29:44

a couple that have come across

29:46

where, you know, there aren't shells

29:49

of them. Because, you

29:51

know, people who are in a penis

29:54

are washing hopefully with soap, you know,

29:56

but also it's

29:58

not just the intimate work. washes, we've

30:01

got perfume menstrual products. So that's saying

30:03

the all your period smells. Well, that's

30:05

a natural bodily function anyway. And we've

30:07

got perfume condoms, and then bought out

30:10

by female empowerment brands, which drives me potty

30:12

because a lot of these in female empowerment

30:14

brands sell products that are not empowering, nothing

30:16

empowering about a bout of thrush or an

30:18

itchy vulva. And, you know, so these products,

30:20

I remember with my daughter, Minnie, we were

30:23

standing in boots smelling all the packets of

30:25

pads, which want to work out which

30:28

one wasn't scented. You know, it's because

30:30

we, because everybody feels shame

30:33

about their body, this part of their

30:35

body too, you know, and people don't

30:37

understand the how it works of itself,

30:39

cleaning that we have discharge that changes

30:41

throughout the month, you know, and they're

30:43

supposed to be this natural smell. And

30:45

obviously, if it's a fishy smelling discharge,

30:47

that indicates it's probably back to your

30:49

vaginosis, which needs treating and baby is

30:51

really difficult to get rid of. You

30:53

know, I've had bouts of it and

30:55

you have sometimes you need two

30:57

or three courses of antibiotics that can

30:59

be an absolute pain. And

31:01

also it brings shame to people because it isn't

31:03

a pleasant smell. But the problem

31:05

is a lot of these products are disrupting

31:08

your pH and your natural flora inside your

31:10

vagina, which is giving you thrush and that

31:12

too. I'm not going to make it better.

31:14

But is it really enough to just wash

31:16

the vagina with water? I mean, you

31:19

know, surely just a little bit of soap.

31:21

I mean, I mean, you really literally saying

31:23

just plain water. Don't put anything else. Yeah,

31:25

we can't wash the vagina anyway, because

31:28

it's it's entirely lovely. But your vovial

31:30

area, no, just just sleeping, you know,

31:32

with the shower head with soap, you

31:34

know, and I mean, some people like

31:36

to use a mild soap if they

31:38

want to use a gentle emollient. If

31:40

they feel some people really feel like

31:42

they need to wash them outside. The

31:44

problem is, you know, even things, you know,

31:46

and also remember your shower gels, your bubble

31:48

baths. I mean, the worst offenders are bath

31:51

bombs. I call them thrush bombs. There's an

31:53

article on the website. You know, I even

31:55

make up the little song thrush bomb song.

31:57

It's they drive me potty because

31:59

they are. full of horrible ingredients, even the

32:02

natural ones. Oh no, they've got natural ingredients.

32:04

Well actually, you're sitting in this soup in

32:06

your bar. But you know, you see on

32:09

YouTube, there's a mother and daughter, little tiny

32:11

little top, and they're making bath bombs, and

32:13

they're throwing in colours, and they're throwing in

32:15

glitter, and it's like, those bits of glitter

32:18

are going to get up inside your vagina,

32:20

and your bottom as well, your anus. It's

32:22

like, these things are not going

32:24

to, so you know, I call them thrush bombs.

32:27

Thrush bombs. But you know, the internet

32:30

washes and sprays, anything and

32:32

everything, to math. And

32:35

I don't know, sorry, I don't know how

32:37

many, I don't smell people as I'm walking

32:39

past them, I'm on the tube, I can't

32:41

smell somebody's vagina or balsamic. So you know.

32:44

It's interesting, I mean, I've talked a

32:46

lot on this podcast before about problems

32:48

like UTI's, recurrent UTI's, cystitis. I mean,

32:50

for me going through perimenopause, that was

32:52

a big issue for me, and I

32:54

spent too many years on antibiotics with

32:56

no relief at all. And

32:59

the thing that really helped me was vaginal

33:01

estrogen. And we know that that's

33:03

incredibly safe. And even for

33:05

women who are undergoing breast cancer treatment, or

33:07

who are not wanting to take any form

33:10

of systemic HRT, is that

33:12

your experience as well, that vaginal

33:14

estrogen can really be helpful here?

33:17

It's transformed my intimate health and my

33:19

whole genital urinary system. It is the

33:21

first thing I ask people when they

33:23

talk to me or they send me

33:25

an email, are you on vaginal estrogen?

33:27

I also say, you need an intimate

33:29

regime, the vaginal estrogen, it can make such a

33:31

difference. And some people aren't on a big enough

33:34

dose, I use a pessary three times

33:36

a week, you can use it up to the same

33:38

week, but most doctors will only prescribe

33:40

it twice a week. And

33:42

also, doctors will only prescribe it

33:45

for a month. I mean, one woman was told it's

33:47

so dangerous, you can only have it for a

33:49

month. I use it all the time. And I'm going

33:51

to use it forever. Until

33:54

I pop my clothes. I always said this,

33:56

but that's another issue, women will use it.

34:00

go away, so they're stop eating it

34:02

and then the symptoms come back. And also I

34:04

advise a lot of women who are scared of

34:08

the information in the

34:10

leaflet in the box because that information is

34:12

incorrect. It doesn't apply to the diagonal estrogen

34:14

and it's right. I would say go and

34:17

talk to your doctor to be reassured. And

34:20

also I say to people, well my

34:22

pressley works for me but you might

34:24

find something else. There's so many different

34:26

preparations now and I have to say

34:28

to people, you do need to persevere

34:31

because what works for one person might

34:33

not work for you and people have

34:35

never even heard of this. But there's

34:37

still this fear, it's not HRT, it's

34:42

vagina and not estrogen.

34:44

It's transformed. I've had many conversations usually

34:47

quiet whispered ones by

34:49

girlfriends saying, oh what can I

34:51

do to turn on vaginal dryness.

34:53

The first thing I suggest is

34:55

is badgifem. That certainly helped me

34:58

but it wasn't quite enough. So

35:00

I had to go up to something called IntraRosa,

35:02

I don't know if you've come across that. But

35:04

again I researched it

35:07

to the end and it's

35:09

incredibly safe. It's like

35:12

a coconut oil based pessary containing DHEA

35:14

and it converts into estrogen and a

35:16

little bit of testosterone as well which

35:18

is quite useful. And you

35:20

can absolutely use it every day, long

35:23

term. And it's just, I think with hormones

35:25

particularly in that area, we don't realise that

35:27

we have them naturally in our vagina and

35:29

around the whole pelvic area. And when we

35:32

lose them, they're gone and it's just putting

35:34

them back. It's not adding anything unnatural in,

35:36

it's just replacing a bit of what was

35:38

there and could be there

35:40

again to prevent symptoms. Yeah, no I completely

35:42

agree. So as I say to people, you

35:44

need an intimate regime with your vaginal estrogen,

35:46

a good vaginal moisturiser and good sexual lubricants

35:49

and only wash with water. Those are the

35:51

four things that I say to people. Once

35:53

you adopt that, you will probably notice a

35:55

real change. But I think we underprescribed the

35:57

vaginal estrogen and I think that's a good

35:59

thing. I think younger women, I wish I'd

36:01

had it at 40. I mean,

36:03

you know, I didn't get it till I was 51. And

36:06

I was already on HRT, but then

36:08

I went and I got had BV

36:10

twice. And so basically I said, can

36:12

I start it? And but now I

36:14

look back now at my UTI and

36:17

thinking, yes, I know that the terrible

36:19

leads were probably causing problems. But actually,

36:21

in my 40s, that vaginal

36:23

ischine could have really helped. And if

36:25

you said the breast cancer patients, you

36:27

know, I talked to them, what can

36:29

I do? My doctor won't describe anything.

36:31

And there's a brilliant doctor called Dr.

36:33

Alison Matt Bess that I met recently

36:35

last year, a cancer and menopause charity

36:38

event. And she prescribes it to all

36:40

her patients. Yeah, and actually, Matt Millen

36:42

have just come out the CEO, Dr.

36:44

Richard Simcock, and chief medical officer, you

36:46

know, recently said, No, actually, we know

36:48

it's safe for pretty much anybody. And

36:50

actually, it's about quality of life. It's

36:52

about, you know, what's the point? I'm

36:54

not talking about sex. I'm

36:56

talking about being able just to sit

36:58

down, you know, to work, to stand,

37:01

do your hobby, ride your bike,

37:03

wear your favourite pair of trousers, you

37:05

know, and then let alone the sex

37:08

side, you know, the fact is that

37:10

women might have sex because every time

37:12

they have sex, they get cystitis and

37:14

the UTI. Well, that's not sexy at

37:16

all, all pleasurable. So, you know, I

37:19

think, and also in the, you know,

37:21

it's more than included in the recent guidelines.

37:24

So I think they're going back and looking at

37:26

that and revising it for because I always think

37:28

of the old ladies in nursing homes. And

37:31

the old ladies that I cared for

37:33

who had UTI, who'd fallen, fractured their

37:35

hip, they ended up losing their independence,

37:37

often many didn't go home, some died.

37:39

And now I look back and I

37:42

think, actually, those women probably all had

37:44

for dyneolatrophies, they needed for dyneolestrogen, because

37:46

that's why they were getting UTI, which

37:48

made them confused and disorientated. And then

37:50

that's why they fell over. Yeah,

37:52

it cost the NHS so much money. You

37:55

know, and even today that still happens. So

37:57

I think that, you know, it's really

37:59

important. and tonight's only women contacts,

38:01

oh my God, my TV's subscribed, it's

38:03

been amazing. And I just think, you

38:05

know, it's a simple thing

38:07

and yet it can make such a difference.

38:10

Simple and safe. We talked a little bit

38:12

about the gut microbiome and we obviously talk

38:14

a lot about that on this show. And

38:17

you said, as we know that there's

38:19

a vaginal microbiome and there's this whole delicate

38:21

balance. What about looking at things like probiotics?

38:23

You know, there are certain strains like the

38:25

rhamnosa strain, for example, that has very

38:27

much been linked with improving vaginal health. Do

38:30

you go into that? Do you buy that

38:32

as a theory? And I really don't know

38:35

enough about it, but I do see there's

38:37

a lot of vaginal probiotics and I'm confused

38:39

as to how they actually work. How

38:41

do they make their way? I think we

38:44

know, well, it depends. From my understanding, we

38:46

know that there is this

38:48

vaginal microbiome and there are lots

38:50

of different species of beneficial bacteria

38:52

that are naturally thriving there normally,

38:54

but they will be depleted through

38:56

whatever reason through environmental stress or

38:59

hormone changes or whatever. And

39:01

some of the most significant in that

39:03

area are rhamnosa, for example. And

39:06

if you can have a probiotic

39:08

supplement that is proven, been clinically

39:10

proven to survive the digestive tract

39:12

acidity and make it down so it

39:14

can be systemically used throughout the body

39:17

and get into the pelvic area. I

39:19

mean, there are some brands, OptiBac, for

39:21

example, have a women's health probiotic

39:23

and that does have good clinical

39:26

research to it.

39:28

And if that's finding what works for you

39:30

as well, you know, sort of a, there

39:32

are various things. I contributed

39:34

to an article on patients about the

39:37

micro-vaginal fluid

39:39

transplants, you know, where basically

39:41

people are experiencing, you know, because we

39:44

hear a fecal transplant to

39:46

help people with that area of their body. But actually

39:48

this is something that they're looking at now with the

39:50

vaginal fluid transplants. And I actually, with all the issues

39:52

I had, I remember saying to the journalist that, yeah,

39:55

it probably would have been something that I

39:57

would have considered because, you know, for those

39:59

people constantly, constantly getting those

40:01

infections that are plagued their

40:04

life. So there are

40:06

lots of, with some of the

40:08

vaginal probiotics, I think some of them, as

40:10

you say, you want the clinical evidence based

40:12

research and that you know that the, like

40:14

all probiotics and supplements really, you want to

40:17

know, is this going to be

40:19

destroyed? Am I peeing it out? It's

40:21

like, what's happening? Is it actually being

40:24

absorbed? Is it working for me? So,

40:26

you know, but yeah, I mean, there's a lot

40:28

more things coming to market to actually look at

40:30

the microbiome. The problem with all these products

40:32

we've talked about that have got poor ingredients,

40:34

they are destroying those, are friendly

40:37

bacteria. And we have research

40:39

for that as well. We know that they

40:41

destroy the friendly bacteria when people use them.

40:43

And one thing I did want to pick

40:45

up on, you know, the dino moisturizer, that

40:47

is different. Yes. I wanted

40:49

to move on to that because obviously lubes, we're

40:51

talking about very much in a sex context, the

40:53

pleasure and sexual health. You know,

40:56

we moisturize our faces and neck, as you said, you

40:58

know, twice a day. I don't know how many

41:00

of us are actually moisturizing our vulvas. I'm

41:02

going to put my hand up here and

41:04

say, I am not. Is this

41:06

something that we do need to use? And surely if

41:08

something's good for my face, I can just rub it

41:10

on anywhere, can't I? No, well, you can't. OK.

41:14

No, you do need something that is

41:16

actually designed for that area. But the

41:18

problem is we have got the dino

41:20

moisturizers that are full of those irritating

41:22

ingredients that I talked about, even some

41:24

on prescription. One of the leading brands

41:26

is on prescription. But it contains glycerin,

41:28

but it also contains palm oil and

41:30

it contains mineral oil, which is

41:32

a byproduct of the petrochemical industry that's

41:34

in baby oil. Now mineral

41:36

oil is designed as a barrier. It's not

41:39

designed to nourish the nose. Not designed as

41:41

a moisturizer. And it certainly was never designed

41:43

for internal use. And also

41:45

I did a video a couple of

41:48

a while ago, actually, on my Instagram,

41:50

because I suddenly realized that people were

41:52

using vaginal moisturizers that contain palm oil

41:54

and mineral oil. And that

41:57

will damage condoms. And again, in

41:59

midlife, constantly. pushing this message that if

42:01

you're in a new relationship or enjoying casual

42:03

sex, you do need to use protection. Because

42:06

yes, you can no longer get pregnant.

42:08

So that's the comment I get from

42:10

a lot of people, but you can

42:12

get an STI. And we know that

42:14

those rates are going up in the

42:16

over fifties. And also because you're the

42:18

skin of your vagina and vulva is

42:21

thinner, because you're going through menopause, it

42:23

increases the risk of transmission through the

42:25

walls of the vagina. So you know,

42:27

but yeah, but those moisturisers. That's

42:29

a salient point, isn't it? Yeah, no, so

42:31

some people, I mean, I actually hadn't really

42:33

dawned on me about the moisturisers and, you

42:35

know, and I started thinking, well, actually, that's

42:37

got oil in it, hasn't it? So potentially,

42:39

there's a risk that it could damage your,

42:41

your condom if you're using it. So there,

42:43

the vagina moisturisers, you know, some, I use,

42:45

yes, vagina moisturiser twice a week, I pop

42:47

it up inside my vagina, anything that runs

42:49

out, I massage it into my vulva. Some

42:51

people use it every day. You know,

42:54

the, the sutile can be used as

42:56

a moisturiser and a leave because it

42:58

has higher hyaluronic acid in it. So

43:00

some people, you know, are using it as

43:02

both. But I do say to people do

43:05

your research again, be the ingredient detective when

43:07

it comes to your moisturiser. Some people get

43:09

confused and think that their lube can

43:12

be used as a moisturiser. Now I know I've

43:14

said about sutile, but it has got this property

43:16

of having hyaluronic acid in it. But

43:19

as I said, I use yesterday m2.

43:21

And some people use their moisturiser as

43:23

a lube. And a

43:25

moisturiser is designed to be a bit

43:27

longer lasting. And, you know,

43:29

but don't just think you can just whack something,

43:32

you know, you cooking oil out of your kitchen,

43:34

or, you know, or, or KM or baby oil.

43:36

I mean,

43:39

that's the one that I, the only thing

43:41

baby oil is good for is for getting off

43:43

your stickiness or the adhesive from your paint or

43:45

teeth patches. So that's why I use baby oil.

43:48

Leave it alone. Yeah, don't put it

43:50

anywhere near your genitals. So fine. But

43:52

yeah, so a lot of people, some

43:55

people don't need to moisturise with the

43:57

using vaginal estrogen and they're using a

43:59

good lube. and it feels comfortable, but

44:01

a lot of people sort of add it in and

44:03

they notice a difference because it just makes things feel

44:05

comfortable. You know, some people pop it in their bag

44:07

when they're out and about and if they nip to

44:10

the loo they can pop it on and just because

44:12

obviously a lot of people have really bad dryness and

44:15

you know it's uncomfortable and irritating so just to

44:17

make it feel comfortable. It comes in little applicators

44:19

that you can use but obviously it comes in

44:21

a big tube and we have a lube tube

44:23

as it's called, you can fill that up to

44:25

get it inside the vagina or pop it on

44:27

the sex toy and then obviously you can use

44:29

your fingers too. That leads me neatly

44:31

on to sex toys. Let's finish up

44:33

by talking about sex toys. You say

44:35

that you only sell the ones made

44:37

from skin safe materials. You know, why

44:39

are some materials safe for skin and

44:42

others perhaps aren't? Okay, so we only

44:44

sell sex toys made from silicone, glass,

44:46

metal and ABS plastic. So

44:49

the silicone is, you know,

44:51

high quality silicone, it's non-porous.

44:53

The glass is made from,

44:55

it's borosilic glass like your

44:57

pyrex dishes. So again, that

44:59

is very durable and it's non-porous. Having said

45:02

that, if you drop your glass sex toy

45:04

on the floor and it chips then obviously

45:06

you can't use it and you can clean

45:08

it in the dishwasher too. No

45:10

way! Pick your bills

45:12

there in the dishwasher. Oh my gosh. I'm

45:15

trying to persuade my children to empty the

45:17

dishwasher for me. Not an option. What's

45:19

this mum? Yeah. Some of them are very

45:21

beautiful, the glass toys. You can sit them

45:23

on your mantelpiece. They are what you are.

45:25

And ornament, it's a piece of mudnut. And

45:28

then the metal toys are made from

45:31

medical grade stainless steel, like medical, like

45:33

surgical instruments. So again, and they're often,

45:35

they're very beautifully designed and they are

45:37

non-porous too. And glass and metal toys,

45:40

you can enjoy temperature plays. So you

45:42

can warm them up in a bowl

45:44

of warm water or you

45:46

can cool them down in the fridge, not

45:49

the freezer. And actually that kind of gives

45:51

you different sensations as well. And it's very

45:53

nice in the summer when it gets hot

45:56

as well. And that you can actually, you

45:58

know, pop your toy in the fridge. if

46:00

you wanted to, my kids are so used to it anyway

46:02

now, but I don't know. And they usually leave

46:05

the scene, leave and condoms around. And

46:08

then the other toys

46:10

are plastic toys made from ABS

46:12

plastic and they are non-porous. And

46:15

so these are all skin safe. The

46:17

materials you really need to be careful

46:19

of are jelly, latex and rubber. Obviously

46:22

with latex there's a potential there for

46:24

an allergy or

46:27

some sort of a reaction to it.

46:29

The jelly toys and rubber toys, they're

46:31

all porous those materials, but jelly toys

46:34

in particular, they're often the cheap horrible

46:36

toys that you see on sale. And

46:38

they do perfume them to conceal the

46:40

smell of the jelly. But

46:42

they're all porous. So the absolute

46:45

bacteria, you can't clean them properly.

46:47

They degrade with certain lubricants and they can

46:49

degrade over time as well. So, you know,

46:52

they're really not good toys. And the other

46:54

thing to say is there are a lot

46:56

of fake and used products online.

46:59

So you have to buy, implore

47:01

people to buy from a reputable

47:03

retailer. Look, Joji Vine, obviously there's

47:05

others around. Avoid pop-up companies, be

47:08

a care wearer of really big

47:10

companies selling everything. You need

47:12

to know where that toy has come from.

47:14

So as I said, with the fake toys,

47:16

that's potentially dangerous. Obviously if it's got a

47:18

battery in it, you know, they can get

47:21

hot. So that's because

47:23

they're not very well made. And then with

47:25

the used toys, there's lots of samples sent

47:27

out to people and they use them

47:29

and then they repackage them and resell them. Now

47:31

don't get me wrong, there is a market for

47:33

used toys. But,

47:36

you know, you don't know where

47:39

this has come from. And also a good sex

47:41

toy retailer will know about their products. You should

47:43

be able to phone them, email them. They should

47:45

reply to you. There should be an address that

47:47

you can write to. Hopefully you should have a

47:50

social media presence. They should be knowledgeable about their

47:52

products like we are. I'm passionate about their products.

47:54

So, you know, these are just some of the

47:56

safeguards that I say to people when they're looking

47:59

for products. looking to buy a toy. And if

48:01

the price of a toy looks too good to

48:03

be true, then there's probably a reason for that.

48:07

And would you suggest then toys are

48:09

used for solo use? I mean, we're

48:11

talking like just masturbation or partner sex

48:13

or both? Everything. I think that, you

48:16

know, solo play to explore your own

48:18

body, to work out, find out what

48:20

works for you, you know, with your

48:23

partner to enjoy together. But also if

48:25

you are struggling to enjoy an orgasm

48:27

or sex doesn't feel the same often,

48:30

an issue in midlife, you know, you

48:32

have decreased sensation. And to help you

48:34

overcome a sexual health issue, like

48:37

vaginal tightness that happens in menopause or

48:39

decreased sexual sensation, or you've gone through

48:41

cancer treatment, you know, or you've had

48:43

gynae surgery and you've got scar tissue,

48:46

having a hysterectomy, obviously, which, you know,

48:48

if they have people can be sent

48:50

into surgical menopause, that leads to vagina

48:52

shorter and that can make penetration feel

48:55

uncomfortable. So a toy can help. And,

48:58

you know, and actually, using

49:00

a vibrator promotes the blood flow to the

49:02

tissues of the vulva and the vagina that

49:04

in turn promotes your own natural lubrication, it

49:07

improves sensation when it feels

49:09

really nice as well. And

49:11

it just improves your whole

49:13

intimate health. And because

49:16

it's keeping that blood flow going

49:18

to those tissues, which often have

49:20

become sore, dry, you know, less

49:22

flexible, and sex may feel uncomfortable

49:24

or painful. So why, so

49:26

can I just ask you, why does having

49:28

a hysterectomy shorten the vagina? That's something I

49:30

wasn't aware of. Okay, so they cut the

49:32

ligaments to the, that are connected to

49:34

the top of the vagina to the

49:37

uterus. So once the uterus has been

49:39

removed, it's almost like the vagina sacs

49:42

a little bit. And it becomes

49:44

short. And also if you've had your cervix

49:46

removed, there are a lot of surgeons will

49:48

try and preserve the cervix because it has

49:50

got so many nerve endings and it is

49:52

associated with sexual pleasure too. But if you've

49:54

had your cervix removed, you can end up

49:56

with what's like a purse string Scar,

49:58

so you know, like a purse. Ring dwarfing back

50:00

to amend the actually can scar was well

50:03

am and she knew a and also you

50:05

can that you know when you've had a

50:07

stretch and sometimes women ends up with prolapse

50:09

nate answer to be a serial serious and

50:11

that she did it up for to the

50:13

next the weakness in the wall of the

50:15

vagina so lot but a lot of women

50:17

aren't given and she saw a softer interacts

50:20

me i i just recently on my instagram

50:22

and that she did it and and I

50:24

do you live with to the Mccollum but

50:26

we got so much so many comments and

50:28

I'd off people did they want this information.

50:30

And insanely fifty said I've been given no

50:33

information and that's the one person he had

50:35

been given our health pricey which is a

50:37

little pressure sex toys and leaves and six

50:39

will simulate is not i latest which is

50:42

given out in the nhs and she starts

50:44

been given it by one of the neck

50:46

that you out with but nobody else had

50:48

been given advice and yes many women are

50:51

sent into surgical manacles following his threats me

50:53

and Se in a when they said had

50:55

that overthrew me Take the yeah I did

50:57

that cheaper to speaking different sexes sensations you

50:59

know beyond. Masturbation, a mutual masturbation and

51:02

all said and maybe the apologies and

51:04

nothing is because sex toys or of

51:06

aside me different sexual sensation, some five

51:09

persons pulses and yeah we got our

51:11

posts and sonic ways toys now that

51:13

twenty keys and caress the tip for

51:16

us and attacked by brace and they've

51:18

been the new kids on the block.

51:20

Am on. They have transforming orgasms everywhere,

51:23

am on facts and what about the

51:25

latest on A To is our biggest

51:27

seller. A civil Night Find Postseason T.

51:30

Because it is paid for help you

51:32

days with t Three sex with sensational

51:34

that orgasms maybe no longer feel the

51:36

same of that is taking long. That's

51:38

what I just want to enjoy an

51:40

orgasm for the first sizes. I mean

51:42

the and let's let's have some as

51:44

and positive parsing words. Then basically as

51:46

we age. About prioritizing

51:48

great sex Or because.

51:50

Let's say sit in a regular. Orgasms are

51:52

actually very healthy for yeah. And it's not

51:55

just that they feel great that can help

51:57

me sleep the keep looking young ladies to

51:59

me. boost your immunity, they may connect

52:01

with your partner and yourself. And for

52:03

men as well, regular ejaculation

52:06

can reduce the risk of your prostate

52:08

enlarging. So, you know, that's really important

52:10

too. And it's a part of your

52:13

daily living. It's a part of our lives

52:15

that people often overlook to keep you happy

52:17

and healthy. We know that when people's sex

52:20

lives are impacted for whatever reason, it

52:22

can actually really impact upon their physical and

52:24

mental wellbeing. So, you know,

52:26

our oldest customer is 93. I

52:28

plan to be like her. I love

52:31

that. Wow, that's real trailblazer.

52:34

Hope, hope. We have a lot of older

52:36

customers, you know, and if you want to

52:38

try stuff for the first time, you don't

52:40

have to stop big, go for the smallest

52:42

toy and just start your journey there. But,

52:44

you know, it's important to invest in

52:46

your intimate health and sexual pleasure if

52:48

you want to. But, you know, it's

52:50

important to invest in your intimate health

52:52

even if you're not having sex, just

52:54

to remain comfortable. But, you know, if

52:57

you want to enjoy great sex, and

52:59

I do have conversations with women who

53:01

haven't had great sex, but actually now

53:03

they're incorporating a good loo, moisturiser, toys,

53:05

the dino-echedron, and they're really enjoying themselves,

53:07

or they're in a new relationship and

53:09

they're discovering that they can have orgasms

53:11

in different ways. And for me, it's

53:13

always about being positive and saying that, you

53:15

know, I want to be like my 93-year-old

53:18

customer because, hey, you know, that would

53:20

be great. Well, who doesn't? Sam, thank

53:22

you so much. It's been an absolutely

53:24

fascinating episode. I'm going to go back

53:26

and re-listen to it myself and make

53:28

lots of notes and certainly be checking

53:30

out your website. Thank you so much

53:32

for your time today. Oh, thank you

53:34

for asking me. Well,

53:38

Sam, thank you so much for all

53:40

of that. My brain is absolutely buzzing

53:42

with all this information. Perhaps not the

53:44

only thing that should be buzzing after

53:46

that conversation about sex toys, but anyway,

53:48

do go and take a look at

53:50

our website. I certainly will be all

53:52

over it for lots and lots of

53:54

different bits of information. And I'd love

53:56

to know what your relationship with pleasure

53:58

has been like during menopause. especially.

54:00

I do think that sharing

54:02

and just knowing that none of us

54:04

are alone in our experiences is so

54:06

important. So come and chat. Find us

54:09

on Instagram at lizelwellbeing if you want

54:11

to find me personally. You can chat

54:13

to me in the comments there and

54:15

I am at lizelme and as ever

54:17

there are lots more articles and resources

54:20

exploring all of this on lizelwellbeing.com

54:24

and if you want more on

54:26

the emotional and mental side of

54:28

sex do listen back to the

54:30

brilliant episode with the therapist Kate

54:33

Moyle from the end of last

54:35

year. There was lots in there

54:37

about desire and just being more

54:39

mindful during sex. So have a

54:41

scroll back in your podcast feed.

54:43

Next week another Valentine's Day special.

54:45

We're looking at the science behind

54:48

how and why we love. Okay

54:50

until the next time we chat go

54:52

well. Bye-bye. The

54:59

Lizzell Wellbeing Show is presented by me

55:01

Liz Earl and is produced by Anushka

55:03

Tate for Fresh Air Production with additional

55:06

production support from Ellie Smith. The

55:10

Love affair event is on at

55:12

Whole Foods Market with deals on

55:14

delicious desires through February 14th, the floral

55:17

department's in full bloom. So look for

55:19

savings on double dozen bunches of roses

55:21

in the meat and seafood departments. Save

55:24

on animal welfare certified New York strip

55:26

steaks and sustainable wild caught lobster tails

55:28

to make the night sizzle. Gifts from

55:31

the wellness and beauty department are always

55:33

a nice touch and you have to

55:35

grab those chocolate dipped strawberries. Make Whole

55:38

Foods Market your Valentine's Day destination.

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