0:46

Don't you think it's funny how some

0:48

people date the same type of person

0:50

again and again and

0:52

again ? Well , guess what ? There is

0:55

a reason for that , and in

0:57

this episode , I'm going to be diving into

0:59

all the different ways that you can break the

1:01

patterns in order to

1:03

find a loving partner that

1:05

you can have a healthy relationship with , especially

1:08

if you've had toxic relationships in the past

1:10

, including narcissists , psychopaths

1:12

, sociopaths and basically

1:15

anyone with a very low emotional intelligence

1:17

. This episode

1:20

is going to be rather juicy , so please

1:22

go and get your pen and paper , start writing

1:24

these down , share it with anyone that

1:27

you think could really benefit , because obviously

1:29

you know , relationships are so , so important

1:32

and not everyone is able to

1:34

enjoy that real , honest and genuine

1:36

love that lasts , that they

1:38

truly deserve . So let's

1:40

share that love . So

1:43

please feel free to pause if you need to take

1:45

breaks or anything like

1:56

that , because this is going to be , like I said , a very

1:59

, very deep episode . It might

2:01

be a little bit emotionally charging , but

2:03

trust me on this , you are going

2:05

to learn so many different things that

2:07

can really support you to

2:09

meet the right partner in future and break

2:12

these patterns . So take your

2:14

time . It's not a rush , you

2:16

know , take those notes and we

2:19

are going to have amazing

2:21

things happen on this episode . I

2:23

can just feel it

2:25

. So let's focus

2:27

on the 10 reasons why

2:30

people end up in

2:32

these awful relationship

2:35

patterns . You know where they're attracting partners

2:37

that aren't caring

2:39

, that are emotionally abusive , and how

2:41

you can stop that . Today , childhood

2:53

Now you will be amazed the amount of times that I have someone turn around

2:55

to me and say , hey , but Lily , I've had the most

2:57

amazing childhood . The truth is , you know , you can have a fantastic

3:00

childhood . You know , and still

3:02

have issues that have caused

3:04

bad relationships

3:06

. One of the main

3:09

things that actually causes these

3:11

issues is having a parent or

3:13

two parents that aren't emotionally

3:15

intelligent . So the thing

3:17

is to remember is parents

3:19

. They do the best that they possibly can . So

3:21

this is not a finger pointing exercise

3:24

of your parents . Giving you

3:26

the reason you know is the reason why you've

3:28

entered these terrible relationships . You

3:30

know , this is more about giving you

3:32

the awareness so you can start to unpick

3:34

all these different things so you

3:36

are able to enjoy a fantastic

3:39

relationship . So let's

3:42

go into some of the signs that you

3:44

may have had a parent that had low

3:46

emotional intelligence

3:48

. You may have

3:50

heard something on the lines of you're

3:54

too sensitive , you

3:58

shouldn't be feeling that way . Well

4:01

, it's okay for you . You don't know

4:03

what it's like for me . It's

4:06

these kind of comments that

4:09

devalues a child's

4:12

because they're talking about when you're a child

4:14

devalues a child's

4:17

emotional well-being and

4:19

needs . And

4:21

, if you think about it , childhood

4:24

is very , very interesting

4:26

because there's been research done

4:28

where it shows that whatever

4:32

you go through as a child and you

4:34

couldn't figure out because if you think about

4:36

a child's job , a child's job is to feel

4:38

loved and to feel safe

4:40

well , the thing is

4:42

, when a child is

4:45

feeling unloved , they're going

4:47

to feel unsafe . So

4:50

they're always going to be looking for ways

4:52

to gain that love and

4:54

to fix whatever's going on

4:56

. So if you've got a parent with

4:58

low emotional intelligence

5:00

, they're going to be doing a lot

5:02

of work to try and figure

5:05

out how to get that love . You

5:08

know how to improve that parent's mood , how to make that parent more caring

5:10

, how to get that love . You know how to improve that parent's mood , how to make that parent more

5:12

caring , how to make that parent , you

5:15

know , show them attention . So

5:17

what this does is it actually goes

5:20

into future relationships

5:23

. So of course it's a pattern of going

5:25

into relationships where that

5:27

partner may have very low emotional

5:29

intelligence , so they're going

5:31

through the cycles of trying

5:33

to figure out how to get that partner to love

5:35

them . But the truth is

5:37

, if you are trying to change

5:40

someone or trying to change

5:42

their behavior , then

5:45

you're not in love with

5:47

that person . You haven't fully

5:49

accepted that person for who

5:51

they are . And it's

5:53

not to say that you stay in those relationships

5:56

. You let them go because they are relationships

5:58

that don't serve you . But this

6:00

is where we go into trauma bond territory

6:02

and I've already done an episode on that . So

6:05

please feel free to go and check out the

6:07

trauma bond episode if you're interested in

6:09

learning more about that . So

6:12

that's childhood in a nutshell . Very

6:14

, very quick summary . So

6:16

we're going to go on to number two . Number

6:20

two is no emotional

6:23

validation . So

6:26

this is

6:28

super interesting because we've just gone into childhood

6:31

when you've

6:33

not had a parent that can emotionally

6:35

validate you , you don't get taught

6:37

how to emotionally validate yourself

6:39

, so you will find yourself

6:42

pushing your emotions away . You'll be

6:44

going right . Well , you know , I shouldn't

6:46

be feeling this way . I shouldn't be feeling this way . I

6:48

feel angry or frustrated for feeling angry

6:50

, and you'll try to change

6:52

or push away or numb away

6:55

your emotions , which also

6:57

means that you will seek out partners

6:59

that will also not emotionally validate

7:02

your emotions . So

7:11

what this ends up doing is it will cause you to trust someone else's judgment or someone else's

7:13

emotions or how you should be feeling , and it will make you more reliant and more codependent

7:16

on them . So , for example

7:18

, if you're told , well , you shouldn't feel angry about

7:20

that , you should feel happy about xyz

7:22

, you will start to distrust

7:25

yourself and you will trust your partner

7:27

or your parents judgment a lot

7:29

more . What this can

7:31

lead to and this is what I've seen with

7:33

so many people who have gone through narcissistic

7:36

relationships in particular is

7:39

it will cause you to feel numb , it

7:41

will cause you to feel depressed , it

7:43

will cause you to feel very disconnected

7:46

with life . So even the good stuff

7:49

won't even you know , like you'd normally enjoy

7:51

, wouldn't give you that amazing

7:54

you know that amazing feeling of joy and happiness

7:56

. So it really creates this

7:58

level of disconnect . And

8:01

with those types of relationships , what tends

8:03

to happen is you tend to be absorbed

8:06

by their reality and

8:08

that's where you start trusting their emotions and

8:10

what they're feeling and what you should be feeling in their

8:12

eyes and all these different things . So

8:14

it creates this element of how

8:17

you should see your relationship

8:19

with them . So that's often why

8:22

a lot of narcissistic relationships you end up

8:24

seeing the potential versus

8:26

being able to see the reality . So

8:29

let's move on to number

8:32

three . Number three is looking

8:34

for self-worth

8:36

through service , and

8:38

this is super interesting . So often

8:40

people try to earn that love

8:43

. So , a little bit like we mentioned in childhood

8:45

, you know that child would be constantly

8:47

looking for security through love , for attention

8:50

, through praise , through all these

8:52

different things . So if they're not getting that

8:54

from an emotionally intelligent parent

8:56

, they will be obviously , you know

8:58

, repeating the pattern in adult

9:01

relationships , whether it's friendships , whether it's

9:03

work , whether it's a

9:05

romantic relationship relationship

9:13

. They will be constantly looking for all the different

9:16

ways that they can put everyone else above themselves

9:18

in order for them to feel good and to feel

9:20

needed . And that's the other thing that I tend to see with

9:22

toxic relationships . People are needed versus

9:25

wanted , and this is where

9:27

you end up seeing people

9:29

stuck in the rescuer mode and

9:31

they often have a high level of hypervigilance

9:34

which allows them to know exactly

9:36

what someone else is feeling without

9:39

even having to look at them . You know , have

9:41

a chat with them or anything . Survival

9:51

technique you know survival element that they've had to pick up in order

9:53

to know that they can , you know , earn that love or earn that self-worth

9:55

through other people other than recognizing

9:58

their own self-worth . Number

10:01

four is going

10:03

into putting others before yourself

10:05

. So what tends to happen

10:07

, a little bit like the whole self-worth side of things

10:09

. So what tends to happen a little bit like the

10:11

whole self-worth side of things what tends to happen

10:14

in narcissistic relationships is you are punished for putting yourself

10:17

before them . So if

10:19

you've had a parent with low

10:21

emotional intelligence and you put

10:23

yourself before them

10:25

, they will often make you feel guilty

10:27

and feel bad for doing that

10:29

. And

10:32

again you'll repeat the pattern and go into a relationship

10:34

where they will make you feel bad . You might have friends that make you

10:36

feel bad . You might have a job that makes you

10:38

feel bad for prioritizing yourself

10:40

. The secret is , prioritizing

10:43

yourself is healthy . It

10:45

is so healthy because

10:47

it means other people get the best

10:50

out of you

10:52

. Moving on to number five , so I want to go through these

10:54

so I can tell you different things that you can go ahead and

10:56

do afterwards . So number five

10:58

is traumatic experience or emotionally

11:00

charged experience . These

11:04

things can lead

11:06

to complex PTSD and

11:09

what tends to happen and it's

11:11

very , very sneaky , the way this happens is

11:14

it causes you to isolate

11:17

yourself . It can cause things

11:19

like weight gain , weight loss

11:21

, financial issues , all

11:23

these different things that cause you

11:25

to have a similar heightened

11:27

experience . So

11:30

it can cause you to feel like you're

11:32

running away , like if you sat down

11:34

and just stayed still . You know you

11:36

would struggle to do that because you could feel your

11:38

body go . No , let's do something , let's check the

11:40

phone , let's do this , let's do that and

11:43

it's often your body's fight

11:45

or flight system has been

11:47

activated and it doesn't

11:50

know how to be soothed

11:52

. And when that's the case and

11:55

it's in that firefighting mode , it

11:58

can look for very simple dopamine

12:00

hits to calm down . So

12:02

, for example , weight gain or food can

12:04

create the feeling of safety

12:07

. Being able to

12:09

spend lots of money on different things . It

12:11

can give you that serotonin and dopamine boost

12:13

. So it can cause a

12:15

huge , massive disconnect

12:19

between what you're actually feeling , because

12:21

it's almost like you're constantly putting the

12:23

plaster over the top when actually you

12:25

need surgery . So

12:28

traumatic experiences

12:30

. The reason why these

12:32

are important to be able to identify

12:35

and to be able to heal is

12:37

because you don't really

12:39

control your emotional

12:42

reactions to

12:44

things , and this is where we often talk about

12:46

things like triggers . Triggers

12:48

happen when it's activating

12:50

a heightened emotional experience

12:53

or a past

12:55

traumatic experience and

12:57

when these haven't been fully

13:00

processed , your body's

13:02

not in a state of feeling safe . So

13:04

anything that causes you to feel that

13:06

same emotion again will

13:08

cause you to regress back to

13:10

when that originally happened . So

13:13

it can be very , very interesting when

13:15

you have certain emotional experiences

13:17

or traumatic experiences

13:19

that relate back to childhood , because

13:22

when that is activated , that feeling

13:24

is activated , it can cause people

13:26

to regress back

13:28

to childhood and having the same childhood

13:30

emotions and childhood reactions

13:33

to the present moment

13:35

trigger . So I can

13:38

give you a few different examples of this

13:40

. So one client

13:42

of mine had a huge

13:45

response to abandonment

13:48

. So when she was dating

13:50

and she had people who were like

13:53

, look , I don't think this relationship's for me

13:55

, and when they would leave , she would have

13:57

a huge heightened response

14:00

to that person going . She knew something was

14:02

not right about it . She knew it was

14:04

an over-the-top emotion and

14:06

reaction she was having , but she couldn't kind

14:08

of figure out what was going

14:11

on . And it turned out

14:13

that there was an experience when she was five years

14:15

old . That um that

14:18

was around her parents

14:20

and the feeling of them abandoning

14:23

her , abandoning her caused

14:25

her to have a similar reaction in

14:27

future , in her adult life , when it

14:30

came to um partners leaving

14:32

and deciding that they didn't want to pursue the relationship

14:34

. And together

14:37

we actually worked through that within a session and

14:39

she was able to not go through that

14:41

awful experience and she was able to process

14:44

and re-regulate really quickly when

14:46

it came to any kind of you

14:48

know rejection when it came to dating , because the truth

14:50

is you know dating and I'm

14:52

sure you know you'll never hear this

14:54

from a dating coach but dating you're

14:57

going to get more no's than yes's and that's

14:59

what it's all about . It's not about let's attract

15:01

everyone . It's about attracting the right person

15:03

for a long-term relationship , and

15:06

I think this is one of the reasons why

15:08

you know people nowadays

15:11

. You know so many people are going through a divorce

15:13

and I think the reason is

15:15

is because people are so excited to attract

15:17

just anyone versus

15:19

being able to be very selective

15:22

in the type of partner that they actually attract

15:24

. So , but less

15:26

of that . Let's go into the next part . So

15:28

, number six you fear

15:31

relationships , trusting

15:33

people can be so scary

15:35

. So what

15:37

tends to happen is

15:40

, when you're in that state , you

15:42

tend to find yourself being doing like certain

15:45

things , like over giving when it comes to friendships

15:47

or relationships , because if you

15:49

have the feeling that someone

15:52

you know you owe someone something

15:54

because they've done something nice to

15:56

you , you can feel like they have power or authority

15:58

over you because that was what was made , that's

16:01

what you were led to believe as a child , for example

16:03

. So you

16:06

know , for example , let's say , you had a parent who

16:08

said , right , I

16:10

have done this for you . Right , this

16:12

means you have to do that for me . Well , someone

16:15

being able to give to you in your adulthood may trigger that response . You right , this means you have to do that for me . Well , someone being able to give to you in

16:17

your adulthood may trigger that response

16:19

of oh no , I need to do something back , not

16:21

because you want to , but because you feel obliged

16:24

to . So you

16:26

know , this can cause a fear in actually

16:28

trusting people and building up relationships

16:30

of people . So if you fear

16:32

people and you don't

16:35

feel like relationships are safe

16:37

, you're going to push everyone away . Okay

16:40

, so , number seven , you are

16:42

agreeable ? You don't want to rock

16:44

the boat . You don't want people to judge

16:46

you ? Okay , so

16:49

this one's huge

16:52

. So if you're agreeable

16:54

, you are malleable . This

16:56

one's huge . So if you're agreeable , you are malleable

16:59

. And it's not to say that . You know , if

17:03

you don't agree to everything that you must , you know , make enemies of everyone . No , you can say

17:05

no with respect , you can say no with appropriate boundaries and you can

17:07

do it without losing friends or losing respect

17:09

and all those different things . The

17:12

truth is , the people that

17:14

won't accept your no's are

17:16

the people that don't really care

17:18

about you as a person . So

17:21

you know , if you think about

17:23

if someone turned around to you and said well , actually I disagree

17:26

with what you're saying . I understand

17:28

where you're coming from and I really respect your views

17:30

. I'm not looking to change them , but I just don't . I have

17:32

very different opinion . You know

17:34

that's healthy . It's

17:37

not saying you're going to lose

17:39

love and affection . It's saying

17:41

I understand you , I respect you

17:43

, I just have a very different viewpoint

17:46

and that doesn't mean that you're going to lose

17:48

the friendship or relationship

17:51

that you have . So

17:53

when you have that

17:55

element of being agreeable in you , it

17:58

can be because you experienced

18:00

a form of conditional love

18:03

as a child . I don't

18:05

love you . When you've been naughty or if you've made

18:07

a mistake or you've done something wrong , you

18:09

are going to be punished and you are not

18:11

going to get the love Versus

18:14

you made a . Okay , I understand

18:16

you shouldn't have done that . I still love you anyway

18:19

and that's more of that unconditional

18:21

love and it can help you feel

18:23

more confident

18:25

in being able to actually share your true

18:27

viewpoint versus being agreeable

18:30

. And , of course , if you've got an agreeable

18:32

person , that is perfect

18:35

. Narcissistic fodder Okay

18:38

, if you're looking for , if you think about narcissists they

18:40

love to control , they love

18:42

to be able to manipulate and someone who's

18:44

agreeable is easy to

18:46

manipulate and control , okay

18:49

. Number eight you

18:51

need others to value you so you

18:53

can value yourself . If

18:55

you think about what narcissists does , straight

18:57

away , you know in a relationship is it's

19:00

the love bombing and that can

19:02

feel addictive because you're unable to

19:04

give that to yourself . Number

19:07

nine you don't know what a healthy relationship

19:09

is . If you don't know what a healthy relationship

19:11

is , how do you know when you're not

19:14

in a healthy relationship ? Okay

19:16

, a healthy relationship is

19:18

, you know , being in a

19:21

loving and safe

19:23

relationship where you

19:25

feel connected , where

19:28

and this is one that actually

19:30

the major definitions that I learned

19:32

was that a healthy relationship

19:35

soothes your nervous system

19:37

, whereas an unhealthy

19:39

relationship will activate it . So

19:42

if you're feeling activated , like

19:44

you're treading on eggshells and all those horrible

19:46

emotions the majority of the time in your

19:48

relationship , then

19:51

that shows that that's actually quite a

19:53

toxic relationship versus if you

19:55

feel like your nervous system soothed , or the first thing you toxic relationship versus if you feel like your nervous system's

19:57

soothed , or the first thing you want to do

19:59

when you feel upset is go and hug your partner and

20:01

they can soothe your nervous system . That's

20:03

actually more of a healthy relationship

20:05

. It's not to say that you should rely on your partner

20:08

for emotional regulation , by the way , but

20:10

this is saying that healthy relationships

20:12

soothe and nurture the nervous

20:14

system . Okay , it's about feeling

20:17

safe . It's about feeling loved . It's

20:19

about avoiding that horrible conditional

20:21

love . Okay , number

20:24

10 , okay

20:27

, you don't know what you

20:29

need and how to communicate your

20:31

needs . If you think about

20:33

childhood , one

20:35

of the things that can happen , especially

20:38

with an emotionally , you know

20:40

unintelligent parent , is they

20:42

put their needs before the child's . Okay

20:44

, it's not because they've meant to , it's because

20:47

they just don't have the emotional intelligence to realize

20:49

that that's wrong . So what

20:51

this can do is it

20:53

can cause people to not be aware

20:55

of what they need . So if you're

20:58

unable to know what you need and how can you

21:00

ask for it ? And this

21:02

also dovetails into happiness

21:05

One of the questions I love

21:08

to ask is what makes you happy ? Because

21:11

this gives me an inkling of how

21:13

connected someone is to

21:15

their own needs . So

21:18

if you're unaware of what makes

21:20

you happy right now , this

21:23

can be because you're not connected to

21:25

what you actually need and not

21:27

connected to your emotions , which

21:29

help to navigate you to understand what

21:31

you need . So I'll

21:34

just quickly summarize those 10 points

21:36

You've got childhood be having a parent with

21:38

low emotional intelligence . Two

21:40

is not giving yourself that emotional

21:43

validation . Three , feeling

21:45

the need to use

21:48

service to gain

21:50

self-worth . Four , putting

21:52

others before yourself . 5

21:55

. Traumatic experiences . 6

21:57

. Fearing relationships . 7

22:00

. Being agreeable . 8

22:04

. Needing others to value you so you can

22:06

value yourself . 9

22:08

. Not knowing what a healthy relationship is

22:10

. And 10 . Not knowing your needs

22:12

and how to communicate them . So

22:15

if you've gone through those 10

22:17

points and oh my gosh , there's loads

22:19

there that actually I really

22:21

relate to don't worry , this

22:24

doesn't mean that you're never going to have a healthy

22:26

relationship . What it means now

22:28

is you're aware of these patterns

22:30

, so you're going to be able to have a healthy

22:32

relationship once you put the

22:35

work in to break the pattern . Now

22:37

, one of the things that I have

22:40

done is I've actually created

22:42

a membership called the Love IQ membership

22:45

, and right now you can

22:47

actually access membership for

22:49

seven days for absolutely free , and

22:51

it will help you navigate all these different

22:53

areas . But you

22:55

know , whilst you're listening , we'll go

22:58

through a few different things that can really

23:00

really really help . First

23:03

things first is

23:06

, if you have gone

23:08

through any traumatic experiences , if

23:10

you have symptoms of , you

23:13

know , a lot of weight gain or a lot of weight loss

23:15

or financial issues or anything like that

23:17

, it's going to be really

23:19

, really , really obvious that there's going to

23:21

be a traumatic experience that needs to be healed

23:24

. Okay , what

23:27

I recommend when it comes to

23:29

any trauma is

23:32

I actually recommend a very set

23:35

way of being able to heal them

23:37

, because the thing is , lots

23:39

of people tend to focus on things like counseling

23:41

. Counseling is not going to help

23:43

. It's going to re-traumatize and re-put

23:47

you through those emotions , and that's not what

23:49

you want . It's not to desensitize yourself

23:52

to the emotion . You

23:54

actually want to be able to feel the emotion

23:56

and for your brain to process

23:59

it and to understand why it needed to

24:01

feel safe . Okay , that's

24:03

really , really important . And if there was

24:05

not the opportunity to feel safe , it's being

24:07

able to accept what happened . I

24:11

really do recommend more

24:14

of a hypnotherapy type kind of

24:16

route , and I would recommend someone who

24:18

is aware

24:20

of trauma and how to use hypnotherapy

24:22

to be able to dissolve that trauma

24:25

. And my own personal

24:27

preference when it comes to hypnotherapy and trauma

24:29

is being able to regress to childhood

24:32

. It's one of the most successful

24:34

ways , in my opinion , from

24:36

what I've seen and what I've been able to do with my

24:38

clients . So when

24:40

you use that technique , you can literally

24:43

you know relieve someone of that trauma

24:45

within a session . Basically

24:48

, it's fantastic , it's

24:50

very , very powerful . So

24:53

there's that . But if we're

24:55

going to go down the emotional route , it's

24:57

really important for you to be able

24:59

to feel your emotions and

25:01

accept them . The

25:04

thing that I tend to see the most , that really

25:06

, really causes people a lot of issues

25:08

, is when they reject what they are feeling

25:11

or avoid what they're feeling , and

25:13

that's one of the worst things that you can do . If

25:16

you think about it , your emotions are there for

25:18

a reason they are there to

25:21

be a compass in your life . They

25:23

are your navigation system . So

25:25

if you ignore them , you're ignoring

25:27

all the things that are actually keeping you safe . So

25:31

if you think about your emotions and you

25:33

saw a tiger about a meter away from

25:35

you , what are your emotions going to be

25:37

like ? They're going to be heightened . You're

25:39

going to be set in a mode that's

25:41

going to help you get out of a dangerous

25:44

situation . The thing

25:46

is a similar thing gets activated

25:48

when you're in a toxic relationship , but

25:51

you teach yourself that that's okay

25:53

and you ignore those emotions and you don't

25:55

avoid the . You know the dangerous

25:57

person that you're with . So

26:00

when this happens , you get desensitized

26:03

. So it's really important to be able to reconnect

26:06

with yourself emotionally

26:08

. And the other thing is is being

26:10

able to accept your emotions

26:13

and to also accept that it's okay

26:15

to be vulnerable , because everyone is . It's

26:18

really important to be able to accept that

26:21

and also the beautiful

26:23

things that come out of vulnerability . I

26:25

remember , like seven years ago

26:27

, when I found Brené Brown's work . I

26:29

thought it was absolutely fantastic . It was scary

26:31

, you know , suddenly going into emotions

26:34

and accepting them . You

26:37

know , suddenly going into emotions and accepting them , but it

26:39

was actually something that's really transformational

26:41

when it comes to healing and also changing patterns . So go ahead and do that

26:44

Equally . You

26:46

know , if you want to find out the way that I

26:48

support my clients in a fast way , join

26:50

the membership for seven days for absolutely

26:53

free for the love iq , because

26:55

what we do is we actually put three people

26:57

through a love

26:59

iq assessment for absolutely free , they

27:01

get their score and then they go through

27:03

the membership , work through all these different

27:05

areas . So there's training videos , there's audio

27:08

sessions , there's um

27:10

you know group zoom calls . There's

27:12

little prizes and challenges that you can

27:15

do . So last week was being

27:17

able to share what you're grateful for and

27:19

you actually win . You know different things as

27:21

a result of being able to to take

27:23

part and

27:25

win , and it's just a great

27:28

community and it's a healing community

27:30

and there's lots of different things that are going to help you to

27:32

be able to improve . And

27:34

the nice thing is you can retake the

27:36

Love IQ assessment and check out

27:38

your score and how you've improved

27:41

within that period of time that you

27:43

decide to stay with us , because you can cancel

27:45

any time . That's the other great thing . So

27:48

I highly recommend it

27:51

because if these 10 areas

27:53

are a problem for you . If any of those 10

27:55

areas are a problem for you , if these

27:57

10 areas are a problem for you

27:59

, if any of those 10 areas are a problem for you , it means

28:01

that you are more likely to go

28:03

into the same type of relationship again . So

28:06

these are the things that I focus on with my

28:09

clients to ensure that they go into not just any relationship

28:11

, but a relationship that's loving , that's real and long-lasting , with

28:13

someone who's actually healthy for them

28:15

to be with . That's

28:17

the important part . If you're

28:20

not with a partner who you don't

28:22

feel completely loved

28:24

and desired by , then

28:27

really rethink what your standards are

28:29

in a relationship , because

28:31

we're not here for a long time , we're not here

28:33

on this earth for a long time , so

28:35

why not experience something that's absolutely

28:38

real , completely loving

28:40

, completely amazing , completely

28:42

wholesome , where you feel

28:45

loved , fulfilled

28:47

and at peace ? So

28:50

if you do want to check out the

28:52

Love IQ membership , go

28:54

ahead to our website . It's lovewithintelligencecom

28:58

. You'll see the love iq membership

29:01

there . Go ahead , join us

29:03

, we'd love to have you there . Or , equally

29:05

, check out in the description um

29:07

of this podcast , wherever you're listening

29:10

to , and you will see the link

29:12

where you can get this um

29:14

love with intelligence membership

29:16

for seven days for absolutely

29:19

free love . To see you there

29:21

. Please check it out and hopefully I'll speak

29:24

to you soon . So on

29:26

that note , take care . Thank you

29:28

so much for listening . Share with

29:30

as many people as you can , because it'd be awesome

29:32

to spread the love , and I shall

29:34

see you on the next episode . Bye

29:37

for now .