If you have the experience that your husband/BF/partner doesn’t value you, you probably feel hurt, angry, sad, or all of them in combination.

Feeling unvalued impacts your own self esteem and spills over into the quality of your entire relationship, and you might be questioning yourself, the future of your relationship, and whether there’s something wrong with your partner, your relationship, or yourself.

Feeling unvalued by your partner can show up in a myriad of ways. Perhaps he …

Doesn’t listen to you

Doesn’t tell the truth

Doesn’t prioritize you

Gives you the silent treatment

Withdraws

Offers little or no connection and communication

Gives romantic or sexual attention to other people

Belittles you, uses demeaning comments

Doesn’t spend time with you and/or your family

Speaks poorly of you in public

Ignores or doesn’t honor your boundaries

Doesn’t include your opinions and concerns

Offers little or no appreciation, affection, or loving gestures.

And that’s not an exhaustive list.

If this describes you and how you feel about your partner, what can you do?

Our first tendency when we’re not getting what we want in relationship, is to get the other person to change their behavior. In this case, you might find yourself criticizing and nagging at him way more than you like, in an attempt to get the message across that you want something to change.

When we’re unhappy with our partners, we often come at them with lists of rules for how they should behave. Whereas it’s perfectly understandable that you want his behavior to change, this approach will not give you what you want. Even if you’re 100% right about your complaints and all your friends agree with you. If that approach worked, all we needed to do to have perfect partners was to tell them exactly what they’re doing wrong and how they should behave, and we’d be done.

Listen to the full episode to get more background and the rest of the tips. (or watch the video version here: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=1wR_rlDudeY) 

About LoveWorks:

The LoveWorks Solution is a practical and positive approach to marriage, relationship, intimacy, communication, and dating. LoveWorks offers private coaching and relationship counseling to couples and singles, from anywhere in the world; as well as online and live workshops for couples and singles.

The LoveWorks Solution has saved marriages and helped singles find love, plus helped thousands of couples and singles deal with complex problems that arise in relationships, such as communication breakdowns, trust in relationships, insecurities in relationship, toxic relationship, emotionally unavailable men or women, deepening intimacy, finding the right partner, dating, and many, many more.

LoveWorks is founded by Sonika Tinker, MSW & Christian Pedersen, CLC, who have 35+ years of experience coaching and educating about relationships.

They designed The LoveWorks Solution to be practical, applicable, fun and light-hearted, demonstrating that deep relationship work can be done in a positive way while having a good time.

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