0:02

Okay. Awesome. So let's dive in. Why are you

0:06

here? Get connected to purpose.

0:10

Clarity and focus. Clarity and focus, alignment, to

0:14

heal, To reset my nervous system? That's cool. Implement.

0:18

Implement? Okay. Great. So here's what we think. Okay. We think perhaps you want more

0:21

time. Who wants more time to do what's most important to them? Let me see

0:24

what's show it. You guys in the back? You guys are good on time? Just

0:27

curious. You good? Oh, you're good.

0:31

Congratulations. Okay. Great. Awesome. Who wants more money? Let me see if I show a

0:34

hands. Alright. Money follows purpose. And who wants more freedom? Let me see if I

0:38

show a hands. Okay. So the other thing is we see people really want more

0:41

impact. Who wants to make more of an impact out there even if you're already

0:43

doing that? Who wants to have more purpose in life? Obviously, that's the title of

0:47

the workshop. Right? But, also, who sent it clarity? Who wants

0:51

clarity? Yes. What the do I do? Okay. I

0:54

got you. And finally, also, who wants to get started? Who's ready to get started?

0:59

Alright. What about create momentum? You said by show of hands. Most

1:02

importantly, who wants to never go back?

1:05

Okay. You are in the right

1:09

room. Okay? It is nice to meet you. You have arrived

1:13

at Hogwarts. Okay. Welcome home. So look

1:16

around. These are your people. And by the way, this is not Slytherin. This is

1:20

Gryffindor, bitches. Okay? Okay. This is

1:23

Gryffindor. These are your people. If you're used to meeting

1:27

people who are not your people, That ended the 2nd you walked in this

1:31

door. Okay? Because these are people not because it's a cult, because you guys have

1:34

the same values. Whatever we're

1:38

putting out into the world, the messages that we're putting out there, you resonated with

1:41

that on a values level, and the people around you did too. So this can

1:44

become a new tribe for you who follows. Does it make sense? Okay. Awesome. So

1:49

let's start from the very beginning. I need to know what stage

1:53

of purpose you're in. So just kinda See here. Don't raise your hand just yet.

1:56

I'm gonna give you these different stages. 1st one is I don't know what my

1:59

life's purpose is or if I have one. I thought I knew what it

2:03

was, but then I lost it. I know what it

2:06

is, but I'm not living it. I'm living

2:10

it, but I'm not thriving, or I'm living it, and I'm thriving

2:14

in it. So just for a

2:17

second, think about where you are right now.

2:22

And have you always been there, or has it been different before?

2:26

It shifted. It's been growing.

2:31

But today, where are you? So who's at number 1? Let me see if I

2:34

show hands. Okay. Cool. Number 2?

2:38

Number 3? Number 4.

2:42

Number 5. Nice. I'm between 4 and 5.

2:45

Closer to 4 or 5. I have at

2:49

work and at home. So How are you?

2:53

Sure. Sure. I understand. Okay. So you can see around the room that there's a

2:56

lot of people at different stages here. I have to talk to all of you

2:59

and unite the room around common definitions and stuff like that. Okay? Now

3:03

no matter what stage you're at, one of the things people are always debating is

3:07

when should I start? Right now. Right now. Well,

3:10

okay. You say that now, but let's

3:14

talk yeah. Exactly. Exactly. When is the right time to start?

3:19

After I'm clear. No. No. Not after I'm clear. We'll tell about why in a

3:22

second, for sure. The right time to start was Yesterday,

3:26

so we'll settle for win. Now you need to become

3:30

a procrastinator. Okay. And the

3:35

the the archetypal procrastinator is the rabbit in Alice in

3:39

Wonderland who's late for an important date. Okay. Well, I gotta

3:42

fucking do this shit. Right? That's how I I'm I've been that way since I

3:45

was born. I don't know why. Okay? But I like to do shit now. I

3:48

don't have a sense of the future. Like, I'll do it in 6 months. That

3:51

has never been how I've been, but after working with so many clients, there's this

3:54

debate about when the right time to start is. I'm a show you the graph.

3:57

Alright? So here's your birth, And here's your

4:00

death. Where do you start?

4:06

Here's what I think people believe. You tell me. So I was too young

4:10

back in the day, and in the

4:14

recent past, I was too old. And today, it's too late.

4:22

Whose things that may have been how you thought before you walked in here even?

4:25

Let me see if I show your hands. It's too late. Is anyone feel like

4:28

it's too late? It's okay if you are. It's a good thing to admit. Who

4:30

here feels like it's almost too late? Who here does not wanna admit they feel

4:34

any of those ways because when you admit that it's late. It's embarrassing. Anybody who's

4:37

curious? Okay. So so this is how most

4:41

people think is that it's too late. That's too late. Okay? Now

4:45

here's what actually is true. This is the actual truth. Okay? Birth and death.

4:49

Okay. Now so still good. Also

4:52

good. Also good. Also

4:56

good. Even here, good. But when

4:59

you die, It's too late.

5:03

Who here is dead? I don't think anyone has died. You're

5:07

dead? How did you raise your hand? Right? We have

5:10

a zombie in the room. Yes. A zombie. Right? Is it too late, ladies and

5:14

gentlemen? No. No. Look left and right and go, it's not too late.

5:20

Alright. So let's do this. Alright? Now I wanna start with this.

5:23

Do you know what to do, but you're not actually doing it? We've talked about

5:27

it a little bit. Who here has read the books, taken the courses, done the

5:30

thing, and I'm still not doing it? Let me see if I show hands.

5:34

Okay. Awesome. So let's talk about that. What part of

5:38

you is most responsible for

5:42

you actually taking action? The adult part. Functional brain. Some part

5:50

of my brain. Very good. Yes.

5:53

Your nervous system. It's your nervous system. Okay? It's not your

5:57

muscles. It's not your bones. It's your nervous system, and, yes, your

6:01

brain is a part of it. It's actually not the most of it, though.

6:05

The majority of your nervous system is here down. It's here

6:08

down. So I know why is this so I don't know. By the way,

6:12

if you ever don't do this right now, but if you ever Google the nervous

6:14

system and all you saw was the nervous system, like, extracted from the human body,

6:18

it looks really nervous. But it looks nervous because the eye there's nothing

6:21

around the eyes. It looks like it's going like this or something. Like, it's really

6:25

it's it looks kinda nervous. Right? It does. Okay. So

6:28

we wanna understand that understanding alone keeps you stuck. If all you're

6:32

seeking is mentalization, understanding, that's why you're stuck. We wanna get

6:36

to embodiment, meaning the actual shift in your body. Who

6:39

follows? Okay. Understanding here does not lead to new

6:43

action. Okay. In neuroscience, that means cortical, which is

6:47

a mental concept that you understand in the prefrontal cortex, I'll show you

6:51

a graph in a second, Is where understanding exists.

6:54

Shifts actually in behavior are subcortical, meaning

6:58

limbic system down into the body.

7:06

My is it you guys with me on this? Okay. Very important. The other way

7:09

you can think about it is a nervous system terms, inflexible nervous system versus

7:13

a flexible nervous system. You might have a flexible fascia. You may have

7:17

flexible hamstrings. You may be able to do lotus pose or whatever.

7:21

Cool. Awesome. Right? But if you don't have a nervous system flexibility,

7:24

you get stuck in emotional states, and you can't get out. Who follows? Right?

7:28

And so we'll talk about that more in, like, right now. Okay? So here's

7:32

this is the brain now. This is not the entire nervous system. Okay? And this

7:35

is not exactly accurate. It's just the best one I could find. Okay. So here's

7:39

a great quote. Brains are wired through hands on interaction with the physical world.

7:43

No amount of study will get you there. No amount of

7:46

understanding will get you there. You can't think yourself

7:50

into a meal. No. Okay. I see broccoli,

7:54

kale. All my macros are there. Perfect.

7:57

I'm home. I'm full. That's not how it works. Right? You actually gotta

8:01

eat. Right? So we wanna get the actual shift. So in the cortical brain, we

8:04

have executive function. We have critical thinking. We have creativity, problem solving,

8:08

And, also, the prefrontal cortex and the cortical brain comes on later in development.

8:12

Okay? Which is why when you have a child, they can't Think through

8:16

things because they don't have the machinery yet. Okay. We're born

8:20

with subcortical stuff, which is emotional reactive and younger And subconscious.

8:24

So when you get into your reactive self, you're back in those default patterns. Is

8:27

it cortical or subcortical? It's like you guys are getting so smart. It's awesome. It's

8:31

all good. Okay? I'll you'll be, like, at your therapist later, something like, yeah. Well,

8:34

that's a very subcortical response. They're like, what did you say? Right?

8:38

So cortical brain is Thinking things through executive function. And here's the

8:42

thing, when you get triggered emotional, stuck

8:45

emotionally, what happens to the cortical executive functions, all the important

8:48

stuff? Goes completely offline. So in

8:52

many ways, this is not a judgment. It's just true. Scared is stupid.

8:56

And what I mean by that is you're not stupid, but you're behaving in a

8:59

way that's not smart because you're not using the part of your

9:03

brain that's actually smart. You're in response. Who follows?

9:07

Right? So part of our goal is to get that executive function back online.

9:11

But the other thing is is that to do that, we have to have a

9:13

subcortical shift. So what comes cortical or subcortical?

9:16

Subcortical comes first. You gotta have a body shift before you can actually get

9:20

it online. Okay? And, like, everything in trauma healing and everything, executive

9:24

Function therapy, all that stuff. The goal is to get this the cortical

9:28

mind here. I can think things through. I can see more options. Since I can

9:31

be optimistic and pragmatic at the same time, I can have an emotional response and

9:35

go, hey. That's my history, not my present moment. Let me make a different

9:39

shift, But you cannot do that by yourself. That's not how this works.

9:43

Well, we're getting to that. Okay? So what creates the

9:46

inflexible nervous system then? That's right. What type of trauma, though? There's lots of types. That's

9:55

right. Emotional trauma. Emotional trauma creates a flexible nervous

9:59

system. Now let me ground this in symptoms that you might understand.

10:04

Okay? Because sometime people do not understand what trauma is At a at a large

10:08

at a at a large level. And I realized this during the whole Kavanaugh doctor

10:11

Ford thing. You guys remember that, like, about a year ago? Right? Like

10:15

like, people were like, don't believe her. She's lying. It's like, woah. That's not how

10:18

traumatic memory works. Like, in traumatic memory, you remember the Trauma very

10:22

clearly. It's like the lodge in the hippocampus, but you don't remember before and

10:26

after. It's gone. And they asked their questions about before and after to discredit her,

10:29

and then people believed it. Was like, how the do you believe it? That's not

10:32

how trauma works. So what I realized was okay. Cool. That's an

10:36

injustice, and it's bad. There's all the kinds of politics, But it's also ignorance

10:39

of what trauma is. Because the trauma informed conversations is bubbling

10:43

up, but it's not mainstream yet. Part of my intention is maybe Mainstream.

10:47

Very important. Very important. Okay. So let's talk about it. Here are

10:51

some symptoms. Okay? Anxiety, depression, PTSD, insomnia,

10:55

shame, anger, fear, Hypervigilance or perfectionism,

10:58

procrastination or the inability to achieve goals, lack of empathy or

11:02

bullying, impaired capacity for self protection, Self doubt or

11:05

imposter syndrome, feeling worthless or defective, self harm, suicidal

11:09

ideation, lack of trust or reciprocity in relationships, ADD or

11:13

chronic disorganization, oppositional defiance disorder, bipolar disorder,

11:17

dissociative and personality disorders. Essentially,

11:20

the entire DSM, except for a couple, except for a couple, there's a

11:24

couple actual medical things in there. But in general, the d what is

11:28

the DSM? The diagnostics and statistics manual for mental health disorders, volume 5.

11:32

Okay? The DSM, which is what Clinicians use to diagnose you

11:35

with different disorders, okay, is simply a list of all the different

11:39

ways the human nervous system can become dysregulated

11:43

Based on emotional trauma and their history. Almost

11:47

every one of them. Almost every there's a couple. Okay. Now What is the purpose

11:50

of the DSM and those diagnoses? What's the purpose of it? There's only 1

11:54

purpose. Not just insurance. And so the clinician

11:58

Can you get paid by insurance? So the DSM

12:01

exists as an economic agenda for the healthcare system. It does

12:05

not give a about you. And here's the thing. Don't go to the

12:09

butcher to try to be a vegan. Don't do that shit.

12:12

Don't you understand you're killing the animals? No. I'm a butcher. This

12:16

is what I And do. Right? If you wanna be a vegan, go to the

12:20

kale field. Okay? Not the butcher. Go

12:23

to The vegetable aisle. Okay? Don't go to the meat aisle. Because

12:27

is the supermarket gonna get rid of a meat aisle because of your philosophies around

12:30

veganism? No. Right? So is the mental

12:34

health community, which is not bad, but is it gonna get rid of the DSM

12:37

because we say that it's not what it's supposed to be? No. It has a

12:41

purpose. That's what it's for. It's for the medical model to be able to

12:45

have practitioners to make money. That's what it's for. Cool. It's

12:49

just not accurate. It's not trauma informed.

12:53

And part of my job is to help clinicians make money in a different way

12:56

so they don't have to do that shit. Right? That's very important because I

12:59

believe Dissociative identity response, depressive response. And by the way, treatment resistant

13:11

depression, that's not your fault. That's a treatment's fault.

13:15

Everyone's nervous system has an appropriate response to what's happening. So if someone's treatment resistant,

13:19

it means a treatment sucks. It doesn't mean that something's wrong with

13:23

you. Who follows? Oh my god. You're suffering from treatment resistant depression. Actually,

13:27

do you think as a clinician, maybe you're just a bitch and I don't like

13:29

you? I don't know. I don't know. Right?

13:33

I don't know. Because here's the thing. I'll tell you what's true. Okay? Look. I'm

13:37

not against clinicians. The system needs to shift.

13:41

The system needs a shift. What creates transformation and for

13:45

practitioner client relationships is you have safety between the client and the practitioner.

13:49

Is it treatment resistant, or is it appropriate response not feeling safe?

13:53

Probably that for the the for the second one who follows. This makes

13:56

sense? So Start to think about where where what what

14:00

symptoms do you have? You

14:03

they're in the workbooks. I'm gonna check them out, and you can see how long

14:06

have they been there. And maybe

14:10

you've overpathologized yourself because here's the thing.

14:18

That's right. We'll get to that. That's correct. Yes. So here's the thing. Okay?

14:22

The diagnoses based on symptom clusters are accurate. Here's a

14:25

cluster of symptoms. What's not accurate is where the come from.

14:29

Because medication may or may not work long term. May or may not.

14:33

It may save a life in the short term, but here's the thing. If you

14:35

had a traumatic sexual encounter as a child. No amount of Zoloft is

14:39

gonna undo that. You gotta heal the nervous system who follows. Right?

14:43

So we have to have a complete shift towards that, And I can't wait

14:47

around for all the evidence to take 20 or 30 years to come

14:50

to you. I'm just pushing it forward uncredentialed, but fully disclosed about

14:54

what I have and don't have. Okay. That's my goal. So start to think

14:58

about where are you here? Okay? And

15:01

Paul just said this. He wrote polyvagal theory. This is one of my favorite things

15:05

ever. Okay? There's no such thing as a bad response. These are

15:08

adaptive Responses. Procrastination, perfectionism,

15:12

overthinking, not completing things, stress, anxiety, depression are

15:16

adaptations That your nervous system has brilliantly made

15:20

because of what happened to you. And you may not remember what happened to

15:24

you, but your nervous system does. Who follows? See, there's 2 types of

15:28

memory. There's implicit and explicit memory. What the does that mean, Mastin? Implicit

15:31

memory very simply states, it's the stuff that you don't know you know.

15:37

It's like, I just feel anxious, and I don't know why. I feel sad. I

15:40

don't know why. That's there's an implicit memory in there. Something happened in your

15:44

history That's causing you to have a response now, but you just don't know what

15:47

it is. Explicit memory is, oh, that's what happened. You

15:51

get clear about that. And one of the most important things we can do Is

15:54

to make what's implicit, meaning not known to us, but in there,

15:57

explicit, meaning we know what it is. That's a huge deal because as a child,

16:01

we don't have the skill sets To use words sometimes, to get our

16:05

needs met sometimes, and so we just repeat the same wound over and over and

16:08

over and over again, but we don't know and it sounds like, my picker's broken

16:11

in relationships. The thing was, what if you don't remember? You do remember. It's just what part

16:19

of you does and what part of you is not letting your conscious mind remember

16:21

because dissociation Is not knowing what you know.

16:25

That's what being dissociated means. I don't know what I know. I'm pushing it away,

16:29

and that's a survival response who follows. This makes sense? So the cool

16:32

thing about neuroscience is it helps us deshame and depathologize

16:36

what we've been told about what we think may or may not be wrong with

16:39

us. Because nothing is wrong with you. You have brilliantly

16:42

coped. You've made it, and that

16:46

shit is over. Now we have to let your nervous system know. It's

16:50

the follows. Okay? Very important. Okay?