0:06

Today as of today, do you feel like you're

0:09

living your purpose in life? Of course, there's always spectrum and nuance.

0:13

Okay? So if you don't feel like,

0:16

you're living in your purpose, then that's one of the

0:20

primary problems. Okay? Think about this for a second. Right?

0:24

Like, if you're not doing what you're meant to be doing, what do you

0:28

think could possibly go wrong? Right, what

0:32

I think, if I had to if I had my own DSM 5,

0:35

right, and I had if I if I could write this if I could include

0:38

anything in this book, okay, I would have purpose

0:42

deficit response or purpose deficit disorder. Because I think

0:46

in many ways, so many, quote, mental health problems, so many

0:50

problems in life stem from not knowing

0:54

why you're here and what you're meant to do. Because when there's a

0:57

why, we know you can bear any how. That comes from Viktor Frankl.

1:01

Viktor Frankl, by the way, was Auschwitz, most of his family was

1:05

killed in the holocaust. And yet in the middle of, like,

1:09

an atrocity, he found purpose. I haven't been

1:12

through anything remotely as intense as that. You're talking

1:16

about trauma. That's trauma. That's a major, major, like,

1:20

types of trauma. And yet what we understand is when there's

1:24

purpose, purpose in life can shift and change

1:27

everything. And so the other thing that's really exciting is that the

1:31

research on purpose in life is beyond compelling. Okay, it's

1:34

beyond compelling. So let me just kinda just give you an example of what I

1:37

mean. Okay? So more studies on purpose in

1:41

life have been done between 2016 and 2023,

1:45

which is, like, 7 or 8 years. Okay? Then from 1954

1:49

to 2011. Think about that. 57 years. And

1:53

what they're seeing in the research is that purpose in life is

1:58

impacting everything. Finances, relationships, success,

2:02

trauma healing, nervous system regulation, etcetera, etcetera, etcetera,

2:05

etcetera, etcetera, etcetera. And I believe that,

2:09

the reason why purpose in life has become so studied

2:13

is because it's it's it's the next thing. And if you can start to

2:17

see, it's really starting to pick up, but only recently. So what

2:21

does that mean? That means that the majority of the

2:24

research on purpose in life won't be hitting for at least another 20

2:28

years. And I wanna help you have a a a fast track to

2:32

really understand how important this topic is. Okay? So when we look at the research,

2:35

there are 12 common side effects of purpose, and these seem might seem

2:39

grandiose, but I'm gonna back it up with research. Okay? So when we look at

2:42

the side effects of purpose in life, financial abundance and business

2:45

success, setting an example for your children,

2:49

healthy love, romance, and passion. Higher

2:53

HDL levels, meaning higher good cholesterol. Lower

2:57

LDL levels, meaning lower, quote, bad cholesterol that creates

3:00

atherosclerosis and plaque in the arteries. Lower a one c levels if you're

3:04

diabetic. When I work with diabetic people type 2 and prediabetic,

3:08

one of the questions I ask them is, how sweet do you feel like your

3:11

life is? Right? How sweet is your purpose? And the answer is, like, usually not

3:15

very sweet. Right? Improved quality of sleep on

3:18

insomnia, improved immune function. Right, lower

3:22

risk of heart attack, builds resilience, and heals trauma. It can

3:26

literally add almost a decade to your life. We're talking about longevity.

3:30

Holy cow. Right? Improves cognitive functioning, meaning your brain works

3:33

better, enhances emotional regulation. Y'all, if purpose in life was a pill,

3:37

it would be a multitrillion dollar industry. Right?

3:41

A multitrillion dollar industry. And so the latest findings are

3:45

even more compelling. So let me just share with you some of the research, a

3:48

sense of purpose in life and subsequent physical, behavioral, and psychological

3:51

health. Okay? This study was done just in 2021. Over a

3:55

4 year follow-up period, people with the highest versus lowest purpose had better

3:59

subsequent physical health outcomes, reduced risk of mortality or

4:03

dying, health behaviors, there's reduced risk of sleep problems and

4:07

psychosocial outcomes, higher optimism, and a 43%

4:10

reduced risk for depression. Who here feels like that is staggering?

4:14

I think it's staggering. Right? And we're talking you're like we're like,

4:18

I love EMDR. I'm like, EMDR does do this. I love EMDR, but

4:22

EMDR does not do this. Okay? Check this out. Purpose

4:25

in life was positively related with post traumatic growth.

4:29

Okay? New study from 2020. So when we look at the the the

4:33

pandemic trauma, which is a certain a different type of trauma that we all went

4:36

through, right, what they're seeing is people who are recovering better from

4:40

the whatever happened in the pandemic, if they have purpose in life, it is related

4:43

to post traumatic growth. Okay, in the specific context of COVID

4:47

nineteen pandemic, a higher level of purpose was related to lower

4:51

anxiety and emotional distress. So if you have anxiety or emotional

4:54

distress, which can lead to trauma. Okay? Purpose in life

4:58

has been shown to lower those things. Breath work is beautiful.

5:01

Purpose in life is staggering. Okay?

5:05

Also, grief like emotions over loss of normalcy can lead to a loss

5:09

of purpose. So who here feels like in the last couple years, you've lost something

5:13

that you weren't expecting to lose. It could be a relationship.

5:17

It could be a friend. It's someone who passed on. It could be a dynamic.

5:20

It could be something. Right? So it's important to understand that there is

5:23

grief that we're starting to come out of. But what happens with grief

5:27

sometimes is when there's grief, there could be a loss of purpose. And so what

5:30

we wanna do is start to realize if I can find more purpose, I

5:34

can get myself out of situations even more. Okay? Possessing a

5:38

higher level of purpose in life may provide a wealth of resources one can use

5:41

to cope with the current situation, motivating adaptive

5:45

protective handling of a situation, buffering the effect of adverse

5:48

experiences or trauma and thereby facilitating and fostering the learning

5:52

and development of even greater emotional regulation skill over time. If

5:56

you want to have emotional recovery,

6:00

purpose in life purpose in life.

6:03

Okay? And all these are cited sources. Okay? So now we

6:07

might wanna think about what stage of purpose life purpose

6:10

awareness are you? Maybe you don't know what your purpose maybe

6:14

you thought you knew, but then you lost it. Maybe you don't

6:18

believe you have a purpose. Maybe you know what your purpose is, but it's

6:22

not happening fast enough. Or maybe you know what your purpose is, and you're rocking

6:25

it, but you're ready to go to the next level. So if this is 1,

6:29

2, 3, 4, and 5, where would you say you are? Are you number 1,

6:32

number 2, number 3, number 4, number 5? Where you at? Now

6:36

I wanna say one thing real quick before we go a step further. Okay?

6:40

The Internet can be a source of beauty and amazing,

6:44

connections and research and growth promoting awesomeness,

6:48

it can bring us together, but, also, misinformation can spread like

6:52

crazy on the Internet. And one of the things

6:56

that drives me crazy is when you hear

6:59

usually life coaches, but also spiritual teachers start to talk they start

7:03

to oh, you know what? They're like, here's what here's what they do a lot

7:06

of times. I'm being a little facetious, but a spiritual teacher

7:10

or a life coach will read the body keeps the score. All of a

7:13

sudden, they think they're a freaking trauma expert. Okay? And they'll start

7:17

talking about the purpose of your trauma. Well, the purpose of my trauma was because

7:21

I had to learn these lessons. And the purpose of my trauma was God wanted

7:23

me to blah blah blah. Right? And they talk about the purpose of trauma.

7:28

And when I start hearing people say the purpose of the trauma, it's

7:32

like, woah. Slow down a second. Okay? Because

7:36

when there's the purpose of something, especially in the context

7:39

of trauma right? Like, could you imagine going to Viktor

7:43

Frankl and saying, okay. So what was the purpose of your holocaust

7:47

trauma? Like, why did you deserve that? Right? Like,

7:50

no. Like, that is the most insane thing to say.

7:54

Trauma is not a gift. I wouldn't wanna give it to anybody.

7:58

Okay? Trauma is not a blessing. Trauma is not a

8:02

lesson. Trauma is not something God assigned

8:05

you. Trauma happens, and it sucks, and it's

8:09

awful. And what you do with it is what you

8:12

make happen. Purpose happens from you

8:16

after trauma. And so what we wanna focus on, one

8:20

distinction I wanna make here is this, the purpose of

8:24

versus the purpose from. And this one preposition

8:27

change from of from from is a game changer. So when we have the purpose

8:31

of something, that usually means there's an external or preexisting

8:35

reason why the trauma occurred as if it was ordained

8:39

or assigned to you. Arguably impossible and potentially

8:42

harmful to find a specific reason or purpose for why the trauma happened. Think

8:46

about that. If you wanna think about what was the purpose of my trauma, ultimately,

8:51

there is no answer that you can actually answer. Right? There's no real answer to

8:54

that question. You can make meaning of it, but that's making meaning from it versus

8:58

of it, okay, could imply that trauma was deserved. We hear

9:01

that a lot. People think, wait. Did I deserve this trauma? Right? No. The answer

9:05

is no. Could be used as a way to justify or bypass trauma. When you

9:08

say I got purpose from the trauma that I went through. Okay? It creates a

9:12

sense of internal sense of agency or control because I'm creating it. Victor

9:15

Frankl created the purpose of his trauma in

9:19

it, by the way, in Auschwitz. He created that purpose. Okay?

9:23

How you respond to trauma and move forward versus,

9:27

not and also using it as a catalyst for personal growth change or advocacy.

9:31

If you've ever said something like my trauma made me stronger, I want you to

9:34

know something right now. Your trauma did not make you

9:38

stronger. You did. And depending on your spiritual beliefs, maybe

9:41

God did too. Okay? But it's important to understand your

9:45

trauma hurt you. How you responded to your trauma made you stronger.

9:49

Who falls? That make sense? Okay? Very important to