0:00

Yeah, g'day guys, Matty Johns here, and you

0:02

know what, it's been such a great year.

0:04

Really appreciate you guys listening to us, give

0:06

us great feedback, we really, really

0:08

enjoy it. It's fantastic. I hope you guys

0:10

enjoy listening to it as much as we

0:12

enjoy doing the podcast. Look

0:14

when we ducked overseas you listened to some

0:16

of our best of shows, I hope you

0:18

enjoyed it. Of course we've

0:21

hit the end of the year, here's a few more,

0:23

enjoy. Like

0:27

Dad said, earlier in the week I was on Kyle

0:29

and Jack Yo, and a bit of an eventful one

0:31

this week. I had my partner

0:33

on there. You were squirming. I was, I

0:35

really did not enjoy it. Don't worry, I

0:37

was listening from Queenstown, I was squirming. I

0:40

won't be getting you back on. They

0:42

cornered her into a corner, they did

0:44

it very well, they manipulated some of

0:46

her answers and they asked her some

0:49

very sexual answers, some

0:51

information I didn't want to get revealed, which

0:54

put me on show and embarrassed me quite a

0:57

bit. What do you think was creepy? Well,

1:00

let's put it this way, I don't want you

1:02

and Kenneth going shopping together anymore. That

1:05

one was true. I only caught

1:07

little bits of it. So what happened

1:09

when you guys go shopping? They asked

1:11

us what the weirdest place we've ever

1:13

made love in is, and

1:15

it was like a shopping, like

1:18

a dressing room. What is wrong with you? When

1:21

you gotta go, you gotta go. Oh, that's not right.

1:23

Just jeans? So not right. It was at Lowe's.

1:25

I was trying on one of those Hawaiian shirts

1:27

and Kenneth just couldn't help herself. The

1:31

big mark. There was a big photo of

1:34

the big mark back there as well. I just don't want to know.

1:36

There's lots I can cope with. I just don't want to know. Well,

1:38

let me tell you something. I know about you and Dad as well, some

1:40

of your crazy scenarios. Like

1:43

what? Like, I don't want to talk

1:46

about it on this podcast. You're

1:49

talking to Mr. Missionary over there?

1:54

Mr. Missionary, that's not bad for YouTube. The two pump

1:57

punisher. And lazy. I

2:00

might say too. And

2:04

a crier. Like

2:09

Chewbacca. Well,

2:16

I've had it all. You

2:19

know I'm a doggy man. I'm

2:22

like Trish get off me. Welcome

2:24

back to the podcast guys. We're

2:27

just helping Dad on the break. Giving him a couple tips.

2:29

We also gave him, so now he's got missionary. He's

2:32

got reverse cowgirl and roadkill. Roadkill.

2:36

Let's push him flat against the surface.

2:38

That was just one... I

2:40

don't want to be pushed to the surface. Trish

2:45

pegging me. I'm

2:49

not going to be pushing you. I'm not going to be

2:51

pushing you. I just

2:54

tried to peg me about 12 months ago. Knocked

2:58

my front tooth out. Talking

3:06

about swingers. You know what

3:08

I learnt on the weekend? What? Okay.

3:14

If you want to let people know that you're a swinger or up for swinging. Do

3:17

you know what the universal symbol is? Dave's

3:19

nodding. It's an upside down pineapple. Where

3:22

do you put that at your house? On your door. Apparently

3:27

it's big on cruise ships. You rack an upside down pineapple

3:29

on the cruise ship. This is where my girlfriend found it.

3:32

But then I've since looked into it. But

3:35

if you wear a brooch or a t-shirt

3:37

with an upside down pineapple. It means you're

3:39

up for swinging. Keep the eyes out. Who

3:42

knew? The

3:45

humble pineapple. Dave knew. If

3:48

Howl's Wives used to be up for it. They used to put

3:50

Omo at the front of the window. Which meant old man out.

3:54

Really? Yeah, well

3:56

that's not swinging as much as having to fear.

3:58

Do you know? So a girlfriend

4:01

of mine that I knew... Playing

4:04

with? No. Unfortunately not.

4:06

She had a family member, I think it was an uncle

4:08

and an aunt, that used to be swingers back in the

4:10

70s or the 80s. And

4:13

actually they left the country because

4:15

of it. Oh God. Too many, too much

4:17

swinging. Well they swung and

4:19

obviously endangered their relationship and

4:21

they literally left the

4:23

country. It's a shame because they're great people. Do

4:30

you think that you can do it a

4:32

bad rep? I'm wronging you. Was that actually

4:34

who they are? It was them! It

4:36

was them! No, it's their relatives. Nailed

4:38

them. No way. They were alright. Damn

4:41

it. I'd still have a go there. Wow.

4:44

Oh wow. That's hilarious. No, their relatives.

4:46

I wonder if the IGA's still able

4:48

to go get a pineapple. Well

4:56

done big M. Koopa's

5:00

Quiz is back this week. Oh yeah, here

5:02

we go baby. Lock it in. Very

5:04

good. This game, we've played

5:06

it once before. It's called the Opposites Music

5:08

Title Game. Trish, you actually weren't here for

5:11

it last time. So I'll give you a

5:13

quick rundown. Basically... I

5:15

remember, I listened. Okay. Let's

5:18

just, your words could regurgitate it for

5:20

everyone. Let's regurgitate it. So

5:22

basically, for example, Piano Man,

5:25

last time we used the example of

5:27

Guitar Boy. So you use, I

5:30

have switched a couple of them up to be

5:32

the opposite and you guys have to use your

5:34

creativity. In some cases, they're not exactly the opposite.

5:36

But it's up to you guys and your creative

5:38

minds to work it out first. Love it. And

5:41

are we just calling it out? First person to call it out.

5:44

Wait. Could it be like, you know, what if

5:46

it's like, if you say like, I don't know, if

5:48

you say like a bird, if I

5:50

say like, like, what would you like,

5:53

is it, is it words that have a really

5:55

obvious opposite or is it could be quite broad?

5:58

I think we should probably just... start and see.

6:00

I think probably. Sorry, Jake. I'll

6:03

just let you know, none of

6:05

the titles have bird in it. I'll

6:07

just let you know, Jake, I've just got a

6:10

contract I've just got a sign. Would you mind

6:12

just going through the fine print? Sweet. OK.

6:19

Ken has moved in. She's moved into our

6:21

home at the moment, living in my room,

6:24

rent free at the moment. Maybe that'll change soon.

6:27

Koopa had to give up three of his

6:29

drawers. That was a sticking point. Yep, three

6:31

of his drawers, which was hard.

6:33

I've given that many clothes away. I've done

6:35

believe you're carrying literally bags upon bags upon

6:37

bags. Yeah, yeah. At the door. And some

6:39

clothes as well. But I thought it was

6:42

funny. Ken came in with some gifts, gave

6:44

Mum a little travel journal, which

6:46

Trish loves so much she gave straight back.

6:49

Oh, I didn't know that was a gift. I thought she

6:51

just said she just said she did. It was a gift. She went

6:53

and bought it for you. Oh, no. And she gave it straight back

6:55

to her. I said, oh, no, you

6:57

like this more. You like this. And Ken, if

6:59

I like it, I will probably test it. Yeah,

7:02

I'm not going anywhere. And then she came in

7:04

and gave Dad a gift of hair growth serie.

7:06

That was hilarious. But she'd found, she said, Matt,

7:09

it's really good for growing your hair back. And

7:11

Dad was kind of like reluctantly OK. Oh,

7:13

it was a hair bottle. Not just a bud bottle. No. No.

7:17

No, good two bottles, mate. I just poured it on. So people,

7:19

if you see me walking down the street, this guy with an

7:22

afro, just give me a

7:24

shout out. I can feel it growing back already. Can

7:26

you see it? It does look good. It

7:28

actually does look good. But yeah, a

7:30

couple of really shitty gifts. Oh, no.

7:34

Yeah, talking about shit, went

7:36

up last week to Newcastle to help her pack. She

7:38

went off to work and I went for a nice

7:40

drive along Merriweather to check the beach out and

7:43

something in my stomach turned and I had

7:45

to go to the bathroom so bad. So

7:48

I was I was about six minutes from hers and

7:51

I was two minutes from Jack's. So I was like,

7:53

I just went, I'm going

7:55

to Jack's. I just like shot to

7:58

Jack straight away, ran up his unit. Was

8:00

knocking on the door trying to open it. He was a training

8:02

wasn't home and it was locked So I went

8:05

straight back into the car drove to Kenners. No

8:08

one home. Thank God the door was open I've

8:10

run in the door run in

8:12

and I am like at this point

8:14

I've I've honestly just Reevolved back

8:17

into a caveman. It was like I

8:19

was an literal animal running through the

8:21

street called D evolves devil Devolved

8:23

are you sure? Yeah, okay. Well

8:25

I devolved and unfortunately Kenners

8:27

roommate Tegan was just sitting

8:29

on the couch in there and she goes And

8:33

I was just like can go to shit and

8:35

just printed straight past that and I was like

8:37

Oh and as I ran upstairs, I realized what

8:39

I just said it I was like I'll explain

8:41

it to her once I get what I got

8:43

smells it So I like sat on the toilet

8:45

and I was like, oh, it was the best

8:47

feeling in the world flushed

8:50

sprayed Went to go downstairs

8:52

to explain to Tegan like sorry about what just

8:54

happened I was just busting and she was

8:56

gone. Oh and I like she went to

8:58

work and I had to drive No,

9:01

I had to drive back to Sydney. So I've never

9:03

I haven't even spoke to her. Okay, I got a

9:05

question for you I yeah, you were Me

9:08

marry the beach. Why didn't you just pull up there and

9:10

you spoil it there? No, I don't

9:12

like I don't like pulling in public very much. Well,

9:15

you do get your own personal cubicle Yeah

9:17

But I like cuz like when it when it's when

9:19

it's a big one like when I can feel it

9:21

I don't know whether it's gonna be solid or something.

9:23

I get paranoid that spray is gonna

9:25

get on the back of my shirt So

9:28

I take my shirt off and stuff. So I don't like doing that

9:32

When he was a kid used to always totally get nude

9:34

go to the bathroom I like to do it in my

9:36

baby suit because otherwise I there's a paranoia that they've been

9:39

leakage like I'll walk out and stuff And they'll everyone to

9:41

be laughing at me because the back of my jumpers covered

9:43

in shit I've shipped myself

9:45

a few dimes I'm so fun at the

9:47

time. I was walking back had too much

9:49

extra chewy gun Yeah, you told that story

9:51

shit in the park people were

9:53

good dogs as I was hopping along like

9:56

we're good Yeah, we are good. The other

9:58

one was I I was lining up for

10:00

a shit at a music festival. Unfortunately, there were

10:02

massive lineups, so I just went in the bush

10:04

and took a shit. That was in Perth. Oh,

10:07

at Rocket Festival. Yeah, unfortunately no toilet paper, so

10:09

I went around the rest of the day with

10:11

a bit of a rash building between the cheeks.

10:14

Oof, other places I've shit myself. Mmm,

10:16

it's my lawn, isn't it? Yeah,

10:19

save that, yeah, our front lawn. Yeah, it's been a

10:21

few places. Yeah, shit on the front lawn, that's right.

10:23

There's shit everywhere. It's raised to use it when you're looking

10:25

at the barn. Is it on a weed that like, when

10:27

your son's referring to you, some of his deep-seated

10:30

memories of his father is him sitting at

10:32

the front next to a big, long human

10:34

shit. Oh, it wasn't big

10:36

and long, it was very liquid. And do you

10:39

remember though, like the look on his face? That's

10:41

it all, I'll remember. Disappointed. We

10:43

pulled up, catching the boys, Karen caught the boys

10:45

from school, got them from school rather, and

10:48

Matt just sat there like this, little sad face,

10:51

like a puppy that had been rejected. You know

10:53

what, guys, I was just disappointed. Oh,

10:58

Matt, you gave me a cold. Did

11:01

it? It's quite flat or wet, yeah.

11:03

He's one of these people that likes to

11:05

share everything, isn't it? He's coughing and sputtering

11:07

into the general public, it's just disgusting. He

11:09

doesn't wash his hands enough. No,

11:12

it's true. I threw him up there before making

11:14

a salad. Instead of using the salad

11:16

tosses, he was using his hands. Thank

11:19

God it wasn't my salad. Speaking about

11:21

salad tosses. Speaking about salad tosses, Saturday night,

11:23

Trish, after you gave me a salad toss,

11:25

I went out and watched the Matildas. What

11:28

does that even mean? And I don't. You

11:30

don't know what salad toss is. No, I

11:32

don't. Let's still go into the detail

11:34

of it. We'll Google it when we leave. We'll Google

11:36

it when we leave. Well, playing the rusty trombone. Look,

11:38

after we played the rusty trombone. I

11:41

doubt it. But

11:47

another thing, I was down at Alimento's, getting a

11:49

little bit of a trombone. But another thing, I

11:51

was down at Alimento's, picking up some Italian food the

11:53

other day. And the Duke, Jake Duke,

11:55

was down there with one of his mates. Was he?

11:58

Yep, down there. There's a liver around here. And

12:01

I went up and said, G'day, we were talking, and we

12:03

were talking about Dad at the birthday party the other day,

12:05

and I said, Oh, what about Dad doing karaoke and stuff,

12:07

and he goes, Oh, did he tell you the other story?

12:10

And I said, Yes,

12:12

but I can't remember what, can you remind me what it was?

12:15

And he said, Oh, well, he was there,

12:17

and he was holding court, telling all these stories. And

12:20

one of my friends, one of Jake's friends

12:22

was sitting there, and he had a prosthetic, like a plastic

12:24

eye. So

12:26

he put, like when Dad wasn't looking, he

12:28

must have been pretty blind, and I thought, Oh, we'll

12:30

get over this. We'll put the prosthetic eye into Dad's

12:33

drink. So he put it out and popped it into

12:35

Dad's drink, and when Dad got down to the bottom

12:37

of his beer, he was just laughing, ha ha, started

12:39

drinking it, drinking it the whole time he knew it

12:41

was in there, and then just popped it, and looked

12:43

at the prosthetic eye, and Dad was just sucking on

12:45

his eye. And

12:50

he said he just popped it out, and just popped it straight back in

12:53

the blank shot. Look

12:57

at my fetish. He said, Mate,

13:00

you, by the way, mate, you go great. No,

13:02

fine. I think it's clean back there. Sitting

13:04

in someone's skull, it's fine. Yeah, the retina.

13:07

Right, I will take a break, and back with

13:09

more of the best of. I'm

13:12

Andrew Rule, the host of the podcast, A

13:14

Life in Crimes. Here are some of the

13:16

things that we've been talking about the last

13:19

few weeks. The

13:21

brutal truth is that when you start looking

13:23

at it, they always kill or injure a

13:25

lot more than each other. The

13:28

professional hitman used to be a professional

13:30

hitman. Evil strikes in

13:33

all forms, but particularly as

13:35

stupidity. Life in

13:37

Crimes is available wherever you

13:39

get your podcasts. What's

13:52

going on, sonny? Taught you to use the word. Just

14:00

wondering when you'll be home.

14:04

Been trying to call your number.

14:06

Gotta say I have to wonder

14:08

why you did never pick up.

14:10

Yeah, I know that I should take the

14:12

cue But I told you to hide

14:14

a clue I

14:18

thought you should know I've got

14:21

your baby hair And I'll lock

14:23

it on me I

14:26

might even have a tooth or

14:28

two I

14:32

thought you should know That all

14:34

the dirty places you do

14:36

this morning Will

14:39

be sitting there waiting for you But

14:45

some sick inside of coming home To

14:48

all the shit you have on the body

14:50

roll I thought you should know,

14:52

I thought you should know, I

14:54

thought you should know Wow,

14:58

very good Just

15:01

when you thought Charlie's butt was the worst thing

15:03

that's ever happened to you Oh,

15:05

good one guys By

15:11

the way, sorry to hear about that You've

15:13

got a little tear in your bicep Yeah,

15:15

torn bicep That's a miracle

15:17

because a little tear for a little bicep

15:20

Well, they said if it was any bigger

15:22

then I would have required surgery But

15:24

they said, lucky you have the bicep of a small

15:26

child So

15:29

that's actually coming handy, so thanks for putting

15:31

your shit on me Just because I don't

15:34

inject steroids in my arm Yeah, that's right

15:37

Remember that point Jack where people would always ask us if

15:39

Dad was on steroids? Really?

15:44

Yeah, I know Look at his arms, look

15:46

at his arms and they'd say things like

15:48

Look at his head, it's just looking bloated

15:51

People used to ask us all

15:53

the time People

15:55

at school, because when he burst

15:58

into the scene with his amazing television show

16:00

which is on Fox League on Thursdays and

16:03

Sundays. He used to wear really like tight

16:05

shirts and his muscles would be pumped. You

16:08

did wear tight shirts. Yeah. He was

16:10

real nuggety. He was real chody for

16:12

a bit. Yeah. Can you imagine? Well

16:14

can you imagine? I've gone through my

16:17

whole sporting career and then decided to

16:19

get on steroids in retirement. Yeah. It

16:21

sort of defeats sort of a purpose

16:23

if you get over. Well no. You'd

16:25

be surprised. Many people do

16:28

it. Maybe to recover. Yeah. I've

16:30

heard that. You hear about it all the time with

16:32

retired athletes. Well it's not retired athletes. Especially contact sport

16:34

athletes. Yeah it was not so much steroids. They take

16:38

HIA. It's H-I-A. H-G-H-E-A. H-I-A. Well I think

16:40

someone's going for

16:44

a head check assessment.

16:47

Head check assessment. You've

16:49

been away in Queensland.

16:52

I've been in Queensland and in Queenstown.

16:54

Do you know what I found? I

16:56

had the best trip up

16:58

to the Gold Coast on Saturday. I booked

17:02

late till I was in the middle seat. Which

17:05

I never am usually. I like a window

17:07

seat. I work him in the middle so he

17:09

has to do with other people. I

17:11

met the two loveliest men. Almost

17:14

buying for my attention. I'm

17:16

just side of you with chatting.

17:18

Did you go skiing? What

17:21

does that mean? You

17:26

are so wrong. Can you explain that to a

17:28

looking caller? No you can't. You're vile. You can

17:30

imagine. You're about to go on the

17:32

bin. Stop. I'm just saying for

17:34

the listeners, because we'd love our listeners, if you

17:36

don't know what skiing is just do the action

17:38

of skiing. No you'll have to look at the

17:40

YouTube and they'll look. It's like hey it's

17:43

not to meet you Trish. Would you

17:45

like the old seat or maybe the

17:47

window seat? No no it's fine. Trip

17:56

was good though.

17:59

On the subject. Maybe just dive into

18:01

your horrible segue Well,

18:05

well originally a lot of

18:07

the shit I caught last week was out at

18:09

Newtown at Henson Park because of my goal kicking

18:11

It was very windy tool in my defense out

18:13

there, but two from seven wasn't that bad? I

18:16

mean wasn't like sorry to we're right in front of

18:19

the stick Yeah, it's true that I got the other

18:21

ones are on the sideline with crazy

18:23

winds. It was like a hurricane out there So

18:26

this was a couple of the messages I actually received

18:28

messages as soon as I got into the

18:30

locker room Usually this happens after playing NRL because

18:32

people just hammy you straight after but this was

18:34

a little change of pace At

18:37

least your goal kicking is better than recipe of the week one

18:39

of our listeners said who was out there Which

18:42

I thought was brilliant if your goal

18:44

kicking a lot of recipe the week References

18:46

as well if your goal kicking was a

18:49

recipe of the week. It would have been

18:51

a roasted turd spaghettini Which

18:56

was yeah, this is Italian and then the

18:58

last one I did

19:00

a promo last week for NBA Australia

19:02

with Tim Zoo dice

19:04

and Daniels and Xavier cooks who Xavier cooks

19:06

and dice and dangers recurably young and a

19:08

BA players You can get the

19:10

way water can't honestly arthritis. You're in every

19:13

joint of anyway But they

19:15

took a picture of us and I

19:17

reposted it and one of

19:19

our listeners said three athletes and one

19:21

dead shit And then

19:23

I just never replied and then half an hour

19:25

later. He goes you're the dead shit by the

19:27

way Thanks, goop Different

19:33

of the week we missed it last week. Oh, yeah,

19:35

I have I've decided like I was just in the

19:37

mood And I'll pen them down of course. I'm getting

19:39

close to the finish line. I thought you know what

19:42

give the fans what they want given to first

19:45

one hmm This

19:47

is simple you can either be

19:50

the lead singer of you to hence bono You

19:54

can be Harry Styles you

19:56

can be Taylor Swift or

19:58

you can be the lead singer the spin dog Oh

22:00

shit! Why is it so

22:02

high? 13. Jack what

22:05

was yours? I

22:09

got 37. It's supposed to be 37. I

22:12

don't know why it didn't work on you guys but did you

22:14

get 37 Dave? Dave did you

22:16

play along? 7 mate. Okay, you've

22:18

missed one vital ingredient. No

22:21

no no, I did it exactly as the

22:23

man did it and it didn't work. Okay.

22:26

Hang on a second. I

22:28

got 2. Apparently it works 2 out of

22:31

5 times. Oh wow, crazy. How many

22:33

odd numbers are there? I don't know. I

22:35

don't know. Because you could have had 13, you could have had 17,

22:37

you could have had 19. No

22:40

20s, 30, 31s. We

22:43

don't need to go through it. It's okay. Don't

22:45

think about it too much. Another quick break and

22:47

we'll round up this episode of The Best Of.

22:51

Are you ready to get an

22:53

inside look at crime from someone

22:55

who has investigated some of Australia's

22:57

worst crimes? It was like a

22:59

leaden's cave. The luminol found bloodied

23:01

footprints and bloodied handprints on a

23:03

wall. So it's just like a

23:05

horror movie. Former homicide detective Gary

23:07

Jubelin sits down with cops, crims,

23:09

addicts, victims, small time cheats and

23:11

big town lawyers as they tell

23:13

their incredible stories. My

23:16

house got rioted, nixie and I got bail refused, nixie and

23:18

I went on a truck to park lay prison. Listen

23:20

to I Catch Killers early and ad free on Cry

23:22

Next Plus on Apple Podcasts today or wherever you get

23:25

your podcasts. Hey Colonel Sanders, is your zinger great? Do

23:30

you call Ronald McDonald a real great? May curse you. You

23:32

both manify it. Oh, oh, oh, my deep fryer. Tell

23:39

me, Calamari, are you good for me? Will you push up my

23:41

fatty liver? Go one,

23:43

two, three levels. Buy cholesterol's dia. Buy

23:49

cholesterol's dia. Oh, oh,

23:52

oh, my deep fryer.

23:56

It's like someone took a fountain and stuffed

23:58

it into your bowel. I am floob like

24:00

he's gone sitting on my towel I'd

24:03

not wake up with a chop around my

24:06

neck and a three-course dinner running round in

24:08

my head for you You

24:10

are my desire Oh,

24:13

my deep fryer

24:16

I said, oh, my

24:19

deep fryer I

24:22

said, oh, my deep

24:24

fryer Have a great week

24:26

people Well, I think I know who's leading

24:28

so far Yeah, I know, Dad, drop the

24:30

mic Stop it You

24:32

are amazing Oh, everyone thinks he's a favourite

24:34

You are amazing I'm out of here No,

24:37

no, no, but quite seriously, who won that? Oh, shit You're

24:41

on fire, baby Oh, you are not I'm

24:50

pretty sure Matt said last week's was going to be,

24:53

he had something special Well, he

24:55

had something special, alright Unfortunately, we had

24:57

to edit it out Look, let's just

24:59

say it like this, right? Only the

25:01

early birds that got in and listened

25:04

first thing Friday Understood Well,

25:06

heard it Well, what has happened was people is

25:08

that I was No, don't

25:10

tell them I'll just say what

25:12

happened originally No I was cleaning

25:14

my teeth and electric toothbrush, pushed it in too

25:16

far and Trish said you would be

25:19

no good at giving a govy I

25:21

demonstrated on the podcast that I

25:25

would be able to give a govy In

25:27

fact, I did it so well that Jack

25:29

John's, he was traumatised Trish

25:31

started asking questions and Koop was

25:33

high fiving me And

25:37

those high fives Turned

25:39

into low fives Basically, got

25:42

me a little concerned and we eliminated

25:44

it If you didn't say to YouTube

25:46

last week, it was because

25:48

we basically buried the tape And

25:51

it will not be ever seen again I've

25:54

got a little something for you boys Can

25:56

I give it to you now? It's a gift It

25:58

arrived in the mail the cameras are off

26:00

Trish go on go on

26:03

do you want to wait till after the break no don't know

26:05

no no no break okay so

26:07

they're literally arrived a couple of hours ago

26:09

oh it's here yeah so my

26:11

my listeners a

26:13

couple of them put me on

26:15

to these so these are

26:17

actually portable portable

26:21

oh so

26:23

it's a people people portable

26:26

toilet hey and I bought them

26:28

from I think team who for six bucks because

26:31

the first one see so you open this how

26:35

many leaders is that that's a good

26:39

piece yeah and

26:42

when you get home keep it in the bathroom you take

26:44

a dump in it you reckon you probably could well

26:46

I don't know does your ass fit over that bit no

26:48

no do they have any bigger ones I

26:50

don't know hey dad does

26:53

your ass fit over there that

26:55

you're about to break it don't break

26:57

it so Merry Christmas to everybody you've

26:59

all got one under the tree oh really

27:01

thank you to the listeners for caring just

27:04

just quickly if okay for the for the

27:06

youtubers don't do anything

27:09

but would this be inappropriate just standing in a

27:11

park somewhere watching the kids football I

27:18

think we all know that's entirely inappropriate no worry

27:20

and now you've ruined it you don't mean to

27:22

pop that off no no no Christmas

27:24

can I ask

27:27

you boys something because it's a little

27:29

on trend at

27:32

the moment to have hairy

27:34

armpits oh no I wouldn't say

27:36

it's not what you say I would

27:38

say it's on the wind but some

27:40

of the girls loving you know all natural

27:43

no have

27:45

you ever been out with anyone with hairy armpits

27:50

Cooper I wouldn't say like they were really hairy

27:52

not like the one you're thinking of but I

27:54

had an arm go up and

27:58

like spotted spotted

28:01

like hair there and

28:03

like longer that it wasn't just hair like oh

28:05

it's just had a fresh shave and like it's

28:07

quite long like it was like the length of

28:09

dad's hair so not that long no that's long

28:12

but not thick that

28:14

is a that's not yeah I couldn't

28:16

do that sorry

28:18

I didn't bury my nose in there no sure

28:21

you didn't like more

28:24

hair makes it stinky more hair

28:26

creates sweat which creates

28:28

be oh yeah I sorry

28:30

I wasn't walking out this person hey sorry can

28:32

you lift up your arm for a second okay

28:35

second part of that question I was I was

28:38

reading something that they have a bit of a laugh about it I

28:40

was a bit sort of off-color but that's

28:43

okay might have been a radio show

28:45

who knows but anyway they were talking about I'm not

28:48

talking about like these days so

28:51

boys your young fellas groom

28:54

shave quite a bit yeah which I sort

28:56

of find funny I don't whereas young women

28:58

hang on you do a bit of grooming

29:00

yourself nice in fact I bought you a

29:02

groomer all of you got the groomers don't

29:04

use it but but and whereas

29:08

women these days are going on a trail

29:11

down in the vagina region like really yeah

29:13

like 70 style well

29:16

not if they've been like what's the other day where's

29:19

the article cover was

29:21

picture magazine that was

29:23

scrolling online well thanks

29:27

for that people really it's been a yeah

29:29

it's been a fantastic year as I said

29:31

before listen look after yourselves over the Christmas

29:34

period be safe on the roads look after

29:36

your loved ones and your pets of course

29:38

hope you get plenty good prezzies and

29:41

we'll be back before you know it early next

29:43

year speed you got it you