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2:00

Oh, here comes a suggestion may I apply? What's

2:03

up it's your boy The Ted Smiths and the Men's

2:05

Room. And did you know I have a podcast? Well

2:08

I do, the podcast. New episodes

2:10

uploaded every Wednesday on the Odyssey app.

2:17

99.9 KISW We

2:20

return to the Men's Room with miles and thrills!

2:22

Of course you owe us your pet and now

2:24

it's a very good boy! 206IK03 Rock! By

2:27

the way, just continuing to go through the list

2:29

of animals that are illegal to own as a

2:31

pet in Washington State. No

2:34

surprise, you can't have the lions, the tigers,

2:37

the cougars, wolves, bears, you can't have a

2:39

pet monkey. Good. Then they say non-human

2:41

primates, which tells me you can keep a

2:43

human as a pet. You

2:45

also can't have a marmoset, a

2:47

lemur, good news Ted, no cobras,

2:49

a rattlesnake, nor can you have

2:51

crocodiles or alligators. You also cannot

2:54

have a reindeer, a wildebeest,

2:57

a wild sheep, wild goat, a wild boar,

2:59

a mongrels, or a mute swan. Why would

3:02

anyone care if you have a mute swan?

3:04

I think all these things, because they're very aggressive.

3:06

Oh they're incredible. And you never hear it coming.

3:09

There you go. Are they the basic ones that we see?

3:11

Yeah, they are. They are

3:13

wayholes. They are Canadian

3:16

geese times ten. Right,

3:18

Canadian geese suckers. As far as their aggression

3:20

level. They will absolutely, they will come up

3:22

to you. The mute swan is the standard

3:24

swan. Especially if they have eggs, hatchlings, babies,

3:26

if they're in swans. They're

3:29

notoriously vicious. I'm glad people are like that. Don't you

3:31

remember the two swans that attacked the kayaker and killed

3:33

him? Oh god, that's right.

3:35

Yeah, they will come after your ass. And

3:37

again, that had to be read in his

3:39

obituary. He died the swan. Two swans attacked

3:42

and he died. When was your

3:44

pet a not a very good boy? 206-803-ROC. Hello

3:47

Nick, welcome to the men's room. Hello

3:51

Nick. Hello Nick with the big old.

3:55

We'll put Nick back on hold. Hello, Jesse,

3:57

welcome to the men's room. Hey

4:00

guys All

4:03

right, so I'm looking at the same dog right

4:05

now I adopted this guy probably

4:07

a year and a half ago and I'll

4:10

save you the whole bring my role of those

4:13

beautiful. It's a great day. We met each other

4:16

Etc. We had a great time and they told me at

4:18

pause zero destructive

4:20

tendencies Mm-hmm So

4:23

probably ten days. I'm

4:25

gonna like two weeks into it, but still pretty new come

4:28

home. It's a duck

4:30

feather pillow Or they go down

4:32

like a big pillow. Oh, yeah, you

4:34

know how many duck feathers go in those things? No,

4:37

I mean I have to imagine it's a lot It

4:40

is insane. I mean probably I mean

4:42

I have a two-bedroom apartment, but literally

4:44

every single surface of before Sick

4:47

was covered in feathers. How

4:49

long did it take you to clean that up? And are

4:51

you still finding feathers to this day? Yes,

4:53

yes, and about two weeks. I was gonna

4:56

say they kind of act like those peanut

4:58

packing shells They stick to everything everything it's

5:00

impossible to get them off. They're tough to

5:02

vacuum You you can't

5:04

because they blow away and you can't sweep them because if

5:07

you sweep them they just go in the air I'm

5:10

not even lying in in February. I was cleaning

5:12

my kitchen and I found feathers on top my

5:14

switch I can believe that

5:16

man. Yeah, as long as you live there,

5:18

you're gonna find like a feather a month

5:20

somewhere I guarantee. Oh look man. I I

5:23

Had to get underneath my couch Because

5:25

I dropped something it fell under there I'm looking at I I

5:27

reached my hand underneath there to get it and

5:30

I pulled out a cat turd from Gomez. Oh, oh

5:33

How to be in there for two and a half three years? It

5:35

just had no idea because Robin was still working here when

5:37

he died Oh, I mean that

5:40

thing is bad. It's been a minute, but I

5:42

picked it up. I was like, what is this?

5:44

And I was like, oh, it's a cat turd.

5:46

Oh, yeah I think the worst idea when our

5:48

when our daughter was super young she was just

5:50

learning I can't quite say she could

5:52

crawl yet, but she was getting somewhat mobile and

5:54

my wife looks at me and goes Hey, man, where's our

5:56

daughter? I'm like, I don't know where she is,

5:59

man. So we're looking around you I'm kind of panicking, like I

6:01

know she has to be in the house. Basically, she rolled

6:03

her ass under the sofa. So

6:05

I see her a little bit, and she's fine, but I

6:07

grab her a little foot and pull her out, and man,

6:09

like you're talking three years of dust about these. So I

6:11

pulled her out and said, like, Captain Cave, man. I'm like,

6:13

I don't think we share this story with

6:16

her, dude. This is, like, this is bad, bad, man.

6:18

I think like a Swiffer sweeper, and I pulled her

6:21

out like, oh my god. When was your pet not

6:23

a very good boy? 206-803 Rock. Hello,

6:27

Wolf. Welcome to the midroom. Hey,

6:30

thank you. Hola. Hola.

6:34

Okay, so I used to have a, believe

6:37

it or not, a 30-pound Norwegian Forest Cat.

6:39

His name was Captain Hook. Hold on, a Norwegian Forest

6:42

Cat? I got to look this up. There's

6:45

40 cats. They're bigger than me-coons. Jeez.

6:48

Okay. Norwegian, I just put a Norwegian as Forest

6:50

Cat. Oh, I recognize

6:52

that. Yeah, that's a big, 30 pounds, man. Yeah,

6:56

that is a big man. Literally.

7:00

They're beautiful. So, yeah,

7:03

very beautiful. He was gray,

7:05

brown, black, white. He

7:07

had like six different colors in him, I swear. But

7:10

anyway, me and my

7:12

girlfriend and her son, who I used

7:14

to get high with all the time, this

7:16

is like back in 2008 before we was

7:18

legal. And anyway,

7:22

I used to

7:24

get high with her son all the time. So she and

7:26

I went away camping for a weekend and we went in,

7:28

him and I went in on an eighth before I took

7:31

off. And

7:34

he calls me on the cell phone after

7:37

we were, we were probably about 30 miles away

7:40

and goes, dude, where's my half of

7:42

the weed? I was like,

7:44

well, what's in my office on the computer

7:46

keyboard? He

7:48

didn't find anything. He went looking around the whole area.

7:50

It didn't find anything. The next day he

7:53

found a chewed up bag on the

7:55

couch next to my cat. How's

7:59

the cat do? My cat ate, my cat,

8:01

oh he was stoned out of his mind. My

8:04

cat ate about a gram and a half

8:06

of weed. Jesus. And he

8:09

was stoned for like three days laying on the

8:11

couch in the same spot, did not move. Yeah,

8:14

I was gonna ask man, did he

8:16

seem somewhat content however? Well,

8:18

when I got home he had a smile on his face. How

8:21

long did the cat live? I'm just looking at it now, so

8:23

they live 14 to 16 years on average. Actually

8:27

he lived about 18 years. Damn. So

8:29

let's see, it says they're good with cats,

8:31

children, dogs, families and seniors. Is

8:34

this true? Yeah,

8:37

I am, by the way, what you guys

8:39

were talking about, about illegal animals, wolves

8:42

with a permit. You can't have

8:44

a wolf with a permit. From the

8:46

Washington State Department of Fish and Wildlife. I will not be

8:48

looking into that. You have to have

8:50

a bachelor's degree in wildlife biology. Well,

8:52

that's a little different. I feel a

8:54

little better about that. I

8:57

know I've got a wolf sitting right behind me right now. How

9:01

bad was the matting problem on that cat?

9:06

Not really bad. I've had a

9:09

couple of Maine Coons and the

9:11

Norwegian Forest cats groom themselves much

9:13

better. What is it about

9:15

big cats that you like? Are you just like big

9:17

domestic cats? I'm 6'2", 250 pounds. I

9:22

like big animals. If

9:25

someone comes up to say you have a cat, people are

9:27

going to make fun of him. Oh, he's a cat guy.

9:30

Now when they see your cat, what's the reaction? Jesus Christ,

9:32

man. Holy

9:34

bleep? I'm not allowed to come. Yeah?

9:38

I've seen big dudes walking small dogs. I know you

9:40

said you're a big guy and that tends to make

9:42

you like big animals, but for the

9:44

most part it seems like the bigger the dude I see, the

9:46

smaller the animal they have. Now we all drive Christ for 300's.

9:48

Don't get me wrong. They all look like they're a bouncer someplace.

9:50

But they have a trombone. I've seen some big

9:53

dudes with small dogs. And like you want to make fun

9:55

of them until that guy can kill me. So I'm going

9:57

to say nothing. Where was your pet?

9:59

Not a very good boy. 206-803 Rock. I just

10:01

assumed that walking up to somebody else. I

10:04

used to think that, but the more, I feel like

10:06

there was a time where that was definitely true because

10:08

you can almost tell it's the vibe they give off

10:11

and the look. Like they make eye

10:13

contact for one second and in their

10:15

eyes it's like this level of shame. It's like being

10:17

stuck holding your wife's purse or something. Yeah. Like we

10:19

understand the situation but it's still just not a good

10:21

look. Right? Then you see the guys with the little

10:24

dogs and I mean just the confidence that they're scrolling

10:26

with. I'm like okay that dog is that

10:28

man's main man right there. It's always funny too when

10:30

it's a Corgi. Doesn't they

10:32

just make you laugh? I don't know. It's not a Corgi

10:34

where you see it. It's a trap man. It's the way

10:36

they walk. It's when you got those short legs. They look

10:39

so happy though. But they also walk with like this determination

10:41

just because the legs are tiny but I'm like it looks

10:43

like a dog that's in charge. I mean they're not tall

10:45

but I don't know that I would think of them as

10:47

small dogs. Really? Like I mean yeah. I agree. I

10:50

dated a girl that had a seven pound dog but

10:52

like to me those are tiny tiny. You're just like what

10:54

is that? What kind of dog that you have? Was it

10:57

a chihuahua or something? No I take

10:59

that back. Taryn used to have a dog that was like seven pounds.

11:01

Her dog was 13 pounds. Still

11:03

a small dog. Yeah a Papillon.

11:06

When was your pet not a very

11:08

good boy? 206-803 Rock. I feel like

11:10

Papions man more than almost any other dog always

11:12

seem to have eye boogers. Yeah.

11:15

Yeah you gotta be real careful with that. I mean

11:17

it's a beautiful little dog. I know. French royalty and

11:19

everyone I see I'm just like hey man don't rub

11:21

your head on me. By the way when you get

11:23

on tonight check out the news there was a there's

11:25

a circus in Butte, Montana. I just read this. Elephant,

11:28

elephant flus walking downtown. What do you do to wrangle

11:30

an elephant? They're just walking by to try to figure

11:32

out the thing you can't stop. He's just

11:34

walking down the middle of the street. I mean

11:36

like it's called the zoo to try getting something.

11:38

I don't know. I'm not sure. I mean look

11:40

it's Butte, Montana. Somebody can help it. I just

11:42

somebody could take care of it. I worry. I'm

11:44

assuming people want it alive. Do you get out of

11:46

your car if there's an

11:49

elephant walking down the street? I do. This

11:51

elephant looks reasonably dossing. I turn around. Years

11:53

ago I saw a video it was in

11:55

Hawaii. I want to say Honolulu. Same thing

11:58

elephant escape This thing

12:00

rolled out of there. Pissed, right? So

12:02

the video clip they show, you gotta see the big

12:04

tent. Elephant comes charging

12:06

out, and I always remember this guy, and even though I

12:08

was maybe 12 years old when this happened, I thought he

12:10

was stupid because the elephant is charging out of the tent,

12:13

and people are screaming and running away. And

12:16

it's now running through a parking lot, and the only

12:18

thing that separated the parking lot from the road was

12:20

a chain link fence. So as soon as

12:22

this guy tried to be a good Samaritan, closes the

12:24

chain link fence and puts the padlock on it, well,

12:26

this elephant makes contact with the fence on the other

12:28

side, about the same time that he likes it. Did

12:31

you know, your average master locked a chain link

12:33

fence? They don't stand up through it, and this

12:35

dude, so when it busted through, the door swung

12:37

open, and this guy is still connected to one

12:39

of the doors. He shot off the

12:41

door out of frame. Wow. Yeah, and they ended up

12:43

having to put that thing down. I mean, this elephant

12:46

might be in trouble, though. Why? By

12:48

just watching him cross the street, not crosswalk. Ooh,

12:50

they're gonna get him for jaywalking. That's what they would do here. What,

12:53

uh, what was your bet on not a very good boy?

12:57

206, 803, right? Now I'm reading they've already got him again.

12:59

Did it say what they did? Now, how do you wrangle

13:01

an elephant? Before it was captured, it reportedly took a

13:03

poop on someone's lawn. What is? That's

13:06

great for the tomatoes. That's the report I have. A

13:09

circus elephant got loose their lurch today and butte

13:11

Montana, period. Before it was captured, comma,

13:13

it took a poop. It reportedly took a poop on

13:15

someone's lawn. I think it was looking for that person.

13:17

I was looking for you, Jeff. Come on, man. Clean

13:20

up after your door. Two-hander. How many

13:22

bags do you think you need to pick that up? You

13:24

need a large kitchen and tall garbage bag. Well, it must

13:26

be true. The next story I just looked at a circus

13:28

elephant got loose mute Montana. Before it was

13:30

caught, it took a poop on someone's lawn. Why

13:33

do we keep adding that? That's

13:35

great. Grass has

13:37

never grown so green. Hello, Sandy. Welcome to

13:39

the men's room. Hi,

13:41

Hola. Cool. So

13:46

anyway, um, I

13:48

can't hear you guys. Well, we're not saying

13:50

anything at the moment. It's your moment.

13:53

They are. Okay. So years

13:55

back, I was living in Las Vegas.

13:57

My parents, I was over to

13:59

French. place and we're sitting down in the back

14:01

patio. There's like four or five of us. We're drinking

14:03

tea and smoking pot and this

14:06

dog is a little chihuahua. It darts

14:08

off into the, down there you got

14:10

it, you got your yard and as soon

14:12

as your grass ends it's all desert. So this

14:14

little dog takes off out into the desert there

14:16

and you start barking at this bush and we're

14:18

all just sitting around looking at what's going on

14:20

with this dog. Now, some of you see this

14:22

little pocky now whack the dog. You know, you

14:25

got, got, got, got. So we went over and

14:27

looked at and it's a

14:29

baby mink. Okay. So

14:31

I, I

14:33

went back and grabbed some gloves and

14:35

went over there and picked this thing

14:37

up and brought it home with me.

14:39

You brought the mink's home. What's

14:43

that? You brought the mink's home. Okay.

14:45

Yeah. I brought

14:47

it home. Can I keep losing you guys? Are you

14:49

saying this is a mink? Like a mink? Is

14:51

that what you mean? No, no, no. A

14:53

link. A link. Oh, is it a link?

14:55

A mink. As to minks. Okay.

14:58

It's a cross between a domestic cat and

15:00

like a link. It looked like a bobcat.

15:03

I don't know. How old were you

15:05

when this was happening? 16. 16.

15:08

Okay. So anyway, I bring

15:10

this, it looks just like a miniature bobcat.

15:12

Okay. I mean exactly like it. The point

15:14

of years, bobtail, big old long legs now,

15:16

wild as can be. So I bring

15:18

it home and everything's cool. I keep it in my bedroom.

15:21

It's about, you know, maybe two weeks later, I

15:24

come home from school and this guy's up on

15:26

my curtain rod. I guess he decided to make

15:28

that home up there, you know,

15:31

so, and I didn't think much of

15:33

it. So, um, what am I losing

15:35

you guys? No, we're here.

15:37

We're here. We're not talking. We're talking.

15:39

Okay. So anyway, I don't think nothing has

15:41

this cat up on the curtain rod. You

15:43

know, that's like six, seven feet up in the air,

15:46

you know? So I go to bed, you know,

15:48

and I'm sleeping away. And all of a

15:50

sudden that sucker comes flying down off that

15:52

curtain line and just nails full

15:54

claws into my leg, man. I mean,

15:56

just, yeah, man, I jump up and I'm

15:58

screaming like you're stupid. cat guy swinging

16:00

across the room, you know, that I

16:02

learned that I had to

16:05

not physically, I had to be aware

16:07

not to move an inch at night

16:09

when I slept, otherwise this cat would

16:11

jump down off the coat of hand.

16:14

You learned the wrong lesson. You

16:16

learned the lesson is keep the

16:18

cat's ass outside. I mean, that's...

16:20

Bless you. I'm in my

16:22

room. I'm asleep, man. People moving are

16:24

asleep. I am not willing to get

16:26

attacked. And I understand what cats do,

16:28

but how long did you keep this

16:30

thing? Well, I only kept

16:32

it for like maybe three months and I... We

16:34

had some friends that had a ranch and

16:37

so I ended up giving it to them. They

16:39

took it in and it was like... Ended up

16:41

being like a guard dog. Anything that came near

16:43

their place, it would just attack it and tear them

16:46

up. Does that include people?

16:48

You know, I'm delivering for Amazon. No, it wasn't

16:50

too bad. Just like dogs or other

16:52

cats or any kind of animals, man.

16:54

It was quite something. They lived for

16:57

quite a long time and I don't

16:59

remember exactly how long they had it, but I

17:01

know they had it for several years. Damn. Okay.

17:05

I don't know how I feel about bringing a wild cat home.

17:07

No, I don't at all. Just like... It

17:09

was just a kitten, though, at times. But I got

17:11

him. It was just a baby. He's still a wild

17:13

cat. Oh, yeah. Correct. I mean, that's

17:15

the issue. 16 years old, I want to think about it.

17:17

I'm just thinking, this is too cool, you know? How

17:20

did they get along with their dogs since the

17:23

first interaction? Yeah, really. At first, he was a

17:25

little bit, you know, a little

17:27

bit freaky, but he was skeptical.

17:30

But the dog was always trying to play with it,

17:32

you know? And he finally got along with it. And

17:34

it got along with their dogs. My

17:37

friends at my friend's place. But

17:39

anything... It was like territorial, you

17:41

know? Anything that came within their

17:44

yard, man. They'd just charge them and tear into them.

17:46

I mean, that's a wild animal. Yeah.

17:49

Yeah. I mean, I appreciate that. But

17:51

like, but you can't just do that all the time, you know?

17:53

Yeah. You can't attack every single

17:55

thing. I told you, man, my old dog, not

17:57

the one I have now. Hey, most animals, that's

17:59

humans. territorial the very territorial

18:01

unless they make weird friends man my old dog

18:04

made friends with this ugly ass Albino possum that

18:06

lived in our yard And I know that the

18:08

possum lived in the yard wasn't a problem Predominantly

18:11

only came out at night and did whenever

18:13

it is possums do which I cannot possibly

18:15

say possum stuff, right? Whatever Just

18:18

look ugly as hell and my

18:20

dog and the spot later get up some They

18:24

were just sit side by side happy as it

18:26

could be but if I walk toward them this house The

18:28

possum went hiss at me and my dog never had a

18:30

reaction and the way do The I

18:33

know it literally sit beside each other They would

18:35

sit side by because the first time my dog

18:37

chased after the possum I thought she was gonna

18:39

call it and they stared at

18:41

each other And I don't know if it's just a matter of where each

18:43

one of them peas and poops in the yard Kind

18:45

of indicates, you know whether they're friends or not But like

18:47

they sniffed each other for a minute and then every night

18:50

for about two years So the dog died man, but the

18:52

dog saw the possum they kind of they would

18:54

just sit side by side Didn't do anything

18:56

then really interact but they just set side by side

18:58

I'm like I will be goddamn cuz I get near

19:00

there at his is that is a docile possum It

19:03

was a docile possum. Where was your pet?

19:05

Not a very good boy 206 803 right? I found like a band the

19:10

docile possum Hello

19:12

Nick welcome to the men's room So

19:15

a bitches Sorry,

19:18

I had you guys on mute before I had to I

19:20

had to urinate out some of your fine beer. Oh Awesome,

19:24

it's just a heads up when you're talking. We're

19:26

not gonna talk but we're still here We have

19:28

yes, you can't hear us cuz we're not speaking

19:30

you there. I Can't

19:33

hear you guys before on any of your

19:35

shows before this is completely new to me.

19:37

Okay? So

19:40

I had a I had a about ten

19:42

year old cat and a

19:45

lifelong friend they've met several

19:47

times before this incident He

19:49

came home in the middle of the night My

19:52

roommate at the time and he was

19:54

just super drunk I don't know how how

19:56

much he had to drink, but I was asleep. He

19:59

had a good good night out. I

20:01

get woken up to one of those

20:04

horrifying categories that you hear between like cats

20:06

fighting on the street. Oh yeah. From my

20:08

living room and I just bolt right out

20:10

of my bed and run out to the

20:12

living room. My buddy

20:14

Spencer, his ear is just bleeding

20:17

so tough. I'm freaking out. There's blood

20:19

all over the place. My

20:21

cat, mine, he was just sitting on the

20:24

back of their Kleiner. Like it's a normal

20:26

day. He's just kicking it right there. We're

20:28

pretty sure like this cat and him

20:30

had some issues. We don't really understand

20:32

why my cat never really liked this

20:34

guy. But like when he was a

20:36

kitten, he enjoyed Spencer's, you

20:39

know, his company. He went away

20:42

to Bellingham to school for a little bit,

20:44

came back from then for nine years. He

20:46

hated the guy. So we

20:48

think what happened is Spencer tried to give him

20:50

a hug because he didn't like that this cat

20:52

didn't like him. And being

20:54

drunk, Spencer didn't recognize

20:57

maybe I shouldn't do this because this cat

20:59

hates me. So bending down, putting

21:01

his ear like on his stomach while he's

21:03

curled up like a cat does on the

21:05

back of a chair. That cat just went

21:07

to town and I am not the best

21:10

cat owner at clipping their nails regularly because

21:12

I hate it. Well, they either will let

21:14

you do it or they won't. Right. Exactly.

21:16

And if they, yeah, I don't want to

21:18

get clogged. So at this current point, they

21:20

had some long claws and

21:23

I run out again, blood's everywhere.

21:26

Spencer is not paying

21:29

attention to his pain. He's more focused on

21:31

I made a mess. I've bled everywhere. I

21:34

need to clean all this up. So I'm

21:36

sitting there freaking out because he's bleeding from

21:38

his ear. I can't see the wound and

21:40

he's preoccupied with cleaning up all of his

21:43

blood everywhere. It was a hilarious

21:45

mess. He ended

21:47

up getting to the doctor. Start

22:00

the conversation today with Brace Cards. The

22:03

name of the night, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey,

22:05

hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, hey, the name's

22:07

Roo and Tarrant with Miles and Thoreau. Tarrant Daley, Steve

22:09

Max and Daley make a morning show on the way,

22:11

he's sitting spending ten songs about weed. Those

22:14

guys are throwing a party. Good Chuck

22:16

E. Cheese. This Saturday,

22:18

in Tacoma, Chuck E. Cheese, Saturday happens to be 4-20.

22:21

Weed, Weed, Weed. Going on here of their

22:23

little party they're throwing. Pareto 5, by the

22:25

way, install them. Had Chuck E. Cheese. Ten

22:27

songs about weed coming up right after email

22:29

from our question, where was your paint and

22:31

knots? A very good boy. 206-803 Rock. Hello

22:34

Nick! Welcome to the Men's Room. Hola,

22:38

Michelas. Hola! How

22:41

are you guys doing today? Doing great, Nick. Thanks, man.

22:45

Good. Yeah, so

22:47

I have this dog, he's a

22:49

half lab, half rock. So he's

22:51

like 120 pounds black bear, basically.

22:53

Yep. And

22:56

so a couple years ago we found

22:58

out my wife was pregnant with our second kid,

23:00

so I decided to go get us a couple

23:02

of really nice rib eyes. Had

23:05

him marinating and brought him out to

23:07

the grill and then put him on

23:09

the ledge, went inside to grab the

23:11

tongs, and turns out the

23:13

dog got the stakes. Yep, both of

23:16

them? Both of them.

23:19

They sound stupid. How much time passed between

23:21

you leaving the stakes and you coming back

23:23

with tongs? Oh,

23:26

12 seconds? Yeah, that's

23:28

about right. And he completely ate

23:31

both stakes. Well,

23:33

he was chewing on it as we got

23:35

back out, but he had one

23:38

of them completely down. Damn. And

23:40

then, yeah. How does that do for a dog's stomach?

23:46

He poops a lot anyway, so... Secret

23:49

and tell. I

23:51

didn't notice a difference. Did he care? Was he

23:53

growling at you? I mean, what was his demeanor?

23:57

No, he was... You could

23:59

tell he felt guilty. He didn't feel

24:01

that guilty. He knew what he was doing. He

24:03

is the crime of opportunity. He took advantage. He's

24:05

mad that he got caught. He did not feel

24:08

guilty. Didn't that happen to you? Yeah.

24:11

The difference with us was we planned on this

24:13

particular steak for a week, whatever. But

24:17

we got some good steaks. We had them

24:19

marinating all day. The house smelled so, so good.

24:22

Anyway, again, left them on the countertop. They

24:24

were wrapped. They were covered. Okay.

24:27

Anyway, they're in a casserole dish marinating. The cover of plastic,

24:29

get home and one, the

24:31

dog is not at the door to greet me, which is

24:33

a guarantee that something has gone wrong. And on the other

24:36

side of the kitchen, I'm like, I see her butt and

24:38

I walk around there and two of the steaks were

24:40

gone. She was about halfway. We had three marinating. She

24:42

was about halfway through the third one and

24:45

I was so pissed. And so my daughter had said, well,

24:47

I tried to get away from her, but she growled at

24:49

me. I said, no, I get it. It's a food thing.

24:52

I just looked down at the dog. She just dropped what was left,

24:54

tucked her tail, walked into her crate. And I'm like, we've

24:57

been looking forward to this all day.

24:59

My wife even made the comment when she picked

25:01

me up, she goes, the house smells so good.

25:04

But not even cooking it. Just the marinade. And

25:06

sure enough, we opened the door, smelled fantastic. Your

25:08

mouth waters, your stomach growls, the dogs were like,

25:10

you were kidding. These

25:12

were fantastic. And same thing, didn't

25:14

affect her stomach at all. Nothing. I

25:16

told you Tigger, man, he was a soldier. He ate a

25:18

whole pumpkin pie once when we got home on Thanksgiving. Yeah.

25:22

Uh, you know, you know, dogs

25:24

are with stuff. He was pretty chill, but one

25:26

time I left a bunch of chicken wing bones in

25:28

the trash can. Oh no. The

25:31

next morning, I mean, how they must have splintered. How

25:34

they didn't kill him. I have no idea. I mean, he would

25:36

just eat unreal stuff. And you're like,

25:38

how is he fine? And I understand part of

25:40

it. I get it, man. You don't know the

25:42

chicken bones dangerous for you, but the chicken wings,

25:44

the small grade, I get it. Your dog, you're

25:46

going to go for it. It's the things we

25:48

had to hide our kids trash

25:50

can in the bathroom. Now it's under the sink. You

25:53

have to open the door because we would come home

25:55

and say my daughter went from being

25:57

a young girl to a young woman. And

25:59

in that moment, the dogs like if there's any

26:01

sanitary pads anywhere I'm eating

26:04

them and that's what's

26:07

troubling is you realize like the rest of the trash is still

26:09

there on the floor tampons Pat

26:11

they're gone and then not

26:14

so much now but for the first couple

26:16

of years of life any

26:18

pair of pants that my wife wore the

26:20

crotch was gone everything turned to chaps

26:22

pajamas sweatpants jeans you name it dude

26:24

and she would get underwear and she'd

26:27

get mad and I go look man I don't know

26:29

what to do about this but either get cheaper clothes

26:31

or put them somewhere else because we've gone through three

26:33

different laundry baskets we finally found the one she just

26:35

can't access the top of it yeah that finally go

26:37

through once or two more man she forgot a way

26:39

to pull them out get in there anyway just to

26:42

chew her underwear and what I liked about it it

26:44

pissed my wife off she would clearly take

26:46

my underwear just move it somewhere else and

26:49

then you get to my wife's pants can't use what

26:51

I call the man oh where

26:54

was your pet not a very good boy 206 803

26:56

round I didn't eat your underwear no it's a my

26:58

bees think I don't know it's time like

27:03

come on I would move my underwear to

27:05

the side just to get all up in

27:07

it gonna give this snack ooh that touch

27:09

hello Brock welcome to the midroom hola

27:13

bitches oh

27:16

so I hate to say I missed you guys

27:18

yesterday I figured you guys probably needed a day

27:21

to recuperate from your muck oh shoot oh

27:23

you know that wasn't a bad thing I

27:28

figured as much so I've had dogs my

27:30

whole life I got plenty of dog stories but this

27:32

is one from a couple of years ago

27:34

I got right now I have two ones

27:37

a Malamute and the other ones a half

27:39

giant snows are half husky they

27:41

both are you know combined they're like 200

27:44

pounds so they're big dogs we

27:46

like to take them camping and

27:48

so we have a rooftop tent and

27:50

so this is like in June a

27:53

little early in the season we're going up to

27:56

the Lions Rock near Ellensburg to

27:58

go camping with the dogs and We

28:00

can't get up quite as far as we want to

28:02

because we run into snow, so we decide we're going

28:05

to go somewhere else. In

28:07

the meantime, though, we decide to have a beverage

28:10

and let the dogs out and run around. Well,

28:13

as soon as we let them out, one

28:15

of them sees the animal and takes off, and

28:18

the other one follows them. And

28:21

so now they're gone for a while, and

28:23

we decide, oh, shoot, I guess we're just going to have to

28:26

camp here. So we

28:28

pitch our tent and start hanging out and

28:30

make some food. Hours

28:32

go by. They're not back. I've got on

28:34

my bike, went riding, looking for them. It

28:38

starts to get dark out. Still

28:40

no dogs. I'm like, oh, my God, where are my dogs?

28:43

At about 10.30, I see

28:46

one of them coming up the

28:48

walkway because you can see one eye

28:50

is dark and one eye is light

28:52

because he has two colored eyes. And

28:54

so it's like, okay, there's one of them. Where's the

28:56

other one? And sure enough,

28:59

the other one doesn't show. And

29:01

so we put the one in the car, and

29:04

we try to go to sleep. I barely

29:07

slept. I wake up at

29:09

the crack of dawn to go looking for him. As I

29:11

get out to get on my bike, there's

29:13

a guy coming up the road in a truck. And

29:16

I say to him, hey, have you seen any of

29:18

the dogs? I'm missing my mouse. He's

29:20

like, no, we can see any dog. I said,

29:22

well, if you see him, bring him to us or

29:25

whatever. Sure. And he's

29:27

like, yeah, yeah, I saw him. What

29:29

happened to you? Are you getting farther away from

29:32

your phone? Sounds like it. Somebody has searched right

29:34

now, and they're coming back up. Hey,

29:36

Brock! Brock! Brock! You got to get close

29:38

to your phone. He's got us on a

29:41

finger. He can't even hear us. He's here.

29:43

I'd like to certainly thank him. Nah, thank

29:45

you. Brock! Brock! Brock! Brock! Brock! Brock! Brock!

29:49

Hey, Brock, can you get closer to your

29:51

phone, please? Hello. Can

29:55

you... He can't hear us. What'd

29:57

you do? Like walk to a different town? I know. Hello

30:00

now my oh my god. I went to

30:02

my speaker phone. Sorry. Yeah, okay Last

30:06

we heard you saw a truck and he told the guy that

30:08

you know if he sees the dog, please bring him to you

30:12

yeah, yeah, and so they He

30:14

comes right up like five minutes later with my

30:16

dog in the back of his truck and Returned

30:19

my dog. I'm in tears. You know Could

30:22

barely thank him enough. You know I Get

30:25

my dog back and it's turned out all right The

30:27

funny thing was that the two were

30:30

pissed at each other though Because it's

30:32

for like days they they would not like communicate with

30:34

each other the two dogs I could tell that the

30:36

one was mad that he left the other one behind

30:40

Do you think that's what it came down to? Oh? For

30:43

sure yeah, no the one that's now me was really

30:45

mad at the other dog And he would he had

30:47

nothing to do with this for a while all right

30:49

all right. That's interesting I can't believe you left me

30:51

there. I told you to come on or he got

30:53

into a fight He didn't back him up it

30:56

depends on the animal man like bad to black bam

30:58

to go ahead and watch Where was

31:00

your pet not a very good boy? 206-803

31:02

Rock you got this yeah, you got to

31:04

be flying on the nature now like Hello

31:08

Kim welcome to the men's room Hi

31:16

So I have an old English bulldog hello

31:19

Are you

31:21

there yeah, we're out Okay, sorry.

31:23

I have an old English bulldog that we

31:25

adopted a couple years ago and probably

31:28

three weeks after we got him We

31:30

gave him a ball that was supposed to be indestructible that lit

31:33

up, so you'd bounce it and it would light up and he'd

31:35

go crazy Well he ended

31:37

up breaking it open and

31:39

eating it and we had to take him

31:41

to the vet cost us $5,000 to get

31:43

it removed Was

31:45

it glowing still or lit up? No,

31:49

but they they gave it to us they gave it

31:51

back to us What was wrapped in hair and his

31:53

intestine they cut out part of his intestine it was

31:55

gross Why would they give that to you like dude?

31:57

I don't need this here's your toy bag. I have

31:59

no idea i guess that we wanted to see

32:01

what was inside his stomach you know that he was

32:03

really sick and there was wires and it was

32:06

disgusting how how old was this dog when

32:08

you got it to into

32:10

art and how long did the dog live or

32:13

is it so alive he's still alive he's we've

32:15

been he's almost four i

32:17

have my my uh... the one that a town and

32:20

i told the story of a uh... the

32:23

i was i needed a couple hours right so

32:25

she's out of town i'm going to sit again

32:27

i'm gonna get a buzz on that that that's

32:29

the plan so take you a for a walk

32:31

in all that all that crap taken care of

32:34

i gave her food a little bit of

32:36

her dinner not all of her dinner but i felt a call full

32:39

of peanut butter now this was not

32:41

the regular call callings are typically a

32:43

maroon red color yeah no the one

32:45

that we had was a big black

32:47

it's like heavy duty call like this

32:49

is for your this is for your

32:51

large dogs this is for they say

32:53

that pit bulls this is for you

32:56

german shepherd's this is a large call that

32:58

is stronger than the other com about peanut

33:00

butter in their through some other crap in

33:03

their symbols in their walked out the door

33:05

came home she

33:07

had split that calling half in

33:09

half and she had also eaten

33:11

a lot of the rubber so

33:14

about the next two or three days man door

33:16

big black chunks of rubber coming out of her but

33:18

from that call because she ate a

33:20

large portion of the call actually stop by

33:22

the legal uh... look

33:25

i'm sure comes a fine company their

33:28

advertising is the s but also all

33:30

the indestructible toys we stop buying them to realize

33:32

if you just buy her normal toy that's not

33:34

a calling they make less of a mess

33:37

and i don't know if it's just one callings

33:39

uh... constructible if you certainly whenever them apart there's

33:42

crap everywhere the other choice report it's

33:45

not so bad so what i'm done with the

33:47

calling thing but not indestructible by any stretch maybe

33:49

by our teeth but i'm thinking of dogs not

33:51

like if you put some inside of that make

33:54

no mistake i'm getting out yeah what again like

33:56

i told you when i was kid like the

33:58

figure he was very specific about toys. You

34:01

get him a squeaky toy. He really like you remember

34:03

like the old school rubber ones that looked like a

34:05

steak? Sure. I thought he loved them. But

34:07

you give him one, he would spend the

34:09

entirety of that first day and second day

34:12

getting the squeaker out. And then that's it.

34:14

That was it. It's all about the squeaker.

34:16

Yeah, exactly. But I mean, he I

34:18

don't remember taking like three or four days. He was

34:20

just laser focused like I gotta get this out. They

34:22

gotta get the squeaker. That's it. And then you just

34:25

hear him chewing. Yeah, my dog and I guess this

34:27

is normal with dogs that always just disturbs me, but

34:29

you'll get a stuffed whatever it's got the squeaker inside.

34:31

And yes, I know the dog wants to rip this

34:33

thing apart and get the squeaker, but it always starts

34:35

with the eyeballs. Yeah, like

34:37

it always rips the eyes out first. I'm like, are

34:39

you a serial killer? Or is this just the normal

34:41

thing that you do, man? If I get a chocolate bunny,

34:43

I usually eat the head first. I

34:46

do too. I don't know what it is. I don't like the

34:48

solid ones. I like the hollow ones. Either

34:50

way, certain that I'm a hollow bunny guy. I

34:53

mean, the solid ones are good. It's just too

34:55

much. It's a lot of talk. Right. That's too

34:57

much. Where was your pet? Not a very good

34:59

boy. 206-803 Rock.

35:01

Hello, Molly. Welcome to the bedroom.

35:04

Hola.

35:07

So it's

35:09

actually my brother's dog. We

35:13

were going camping and she is

35:15

a poop eater. And

35:18

my stepdad is a lot

35:20

of edible, like a lot.

35:23

And she

35:25

ended up digging up his poop and

35:28

eating his poop. And she got so

35:30

high for a minute that she

35:33

passed out on the dirt

35:35

and was peeing herself. But

35:38

she was just happy as a man, like completely

35:40

content, but pissing all over herself.

35:42

How many pounds was this dog?

35:46

She was probably like 50

35:50

or 60 pounds. Okay. So this

35:52

dog is laying on its side using the bathroom all over

35:54

itself. That

35:56

sounds like something I'd do. Yeah. I

36:00

think I had maybe. But apparently, apparently his

36:02

poop was so potent from the edibles

36:05

that she got high as a kite

36:07

off of it. That

36:09

is crazy, man. Mm-hmm. Yeah, I

36:12

know. And your stepdad was probably just

36:14

fine. Yeah. I may take one of his

36:16

turds, dried it out, and smoked the damn thing at that point. When was

36:18

your pet not a very good boy? 206-803 Rock. You

36:21

ever have a pet that doesn't poop either? Oh,

36:24

yeah. Of course. I mean, it's a bit...

36:26

Yes. Why does it not matter the

36:28

poop? Right? The dog would eat

36:30

the cat crap out of the litter box. What if

36:32

my dog ate a turd out of a diaper? And

36:34

I'm just like, oh. And I'm

36:36

sure it was sweet potatoes or split pea or whatever. I just

36:39

did not know that he was doing it at the time. I

36:41

want to finally went to go check on him. I'm like, you

36:44

have got to be kidding me. And this is in

36:46

Baltimore. It's the summer. It's like 98 degrees at

36:48

the third floor apartment in a three-floor building.

36:50

So it's the hottest. I mean, no air

36:52

conditioning. Nothing. So it just is

36:54

what it is. I'm used to that. I did not think

36:57

about the fact that because dogs don't really sweat, they pant.

37:00

So my dog says, which

37:02

is the norm. And I realized every time

37:04

the dog exhaled, it's just blowing baby turd

37:06

out. So my entire apartment started

37:09

to think it's hot. I'm sweating now. It

37:11

smells like I just took a dump. And

37:13

it's literally just the dog's breath. And

37:15

I know I can't get the dog to stop panting.

37:17

I'm pissed, you know? But it's finally I got some

37:19

scope, mixed with water and water dish. In

37:22

terms of dogs don't really like scope, but

37:24

I did not care. I'm like, you're going

37:26

to drink this stuff. And then it kind of smelled

37:28

like a minty turd, but it was better than just

37:30

a turd. That was awful. When was your pet? Not

37:33

a very good boy. 206-803 Rock. Hello,

37:35

Nathan. Welcome to the men's room. Oh, wow. So

37:39

I used

37:42

to have a cat named Aries and

37:45

she got pregnant, gave birth to

37:48

a bunch of kittens. And one

37:50

of these cats was named Wyatt. Not

37:52

the brightest cat, but

37:55

he made up for his hunting

37:57

and he had intelligence. This

38:01

cat killed everything.

38:04

There was one morning I wake up to

38:07

my mom and my sister screaming. I

38:10

couldn't fly out of bed and he

38:13

had brought a live bird into the house. It

38:17

fell off the wall, it's chirping, it's

38:19

going berserk and I fly

38:21

through a towel over it. I

38:23

grab it, I get it out the door. I

38:26

look down at this cat and I knew it was

38:28

him. He's just looking at

38:31

me all proud. Of course. Yeah,

38:35

I think that's the worst of it. And

38:37

about two, three months later I

38:41

wake up, I had taken a

38:43

crap ton the night before. I'm

38:45

well hungover. I'm

38:47

trying to get coffee and towel and

38:51

I see Wyatt climbing over the back fence and

38:54

he's got something in his mouth. And

38:57

I'm close to see that

39:01

he had caught a squirrel. He

39:04

did catch a squirrel. Well, it wasn't a dog, it

39:06

was a cat. Yeah. This

39:08

cat had effectively caught a squirrel.

39:11

Was the squirrel still alive? Oh

39:14

no, he was dead. This thing was

39:16

limp in his mouth. So

39:20

it dawns on me that he was heading towards

39:22

the back of the house. Well

39:24

here's the problem. Downstairs is the

39:26

cat door. So

39:29

I am hungover and I'm flying down

39:31

the stairs to hit him

39:33

off. I almost

39:35

tripped and killed myself on the third step down.

39:39

And finally I'm at the cat door and he gets

39:41

to it and I'm shitting my foot against the door

39:43

going no. No. And he's now trying

39:45

to decide no. So finally I was

39:47

able to

39:52

grab the plastic shutter for

39:54

the cat door and I shut the door. I

39:58

limmer back upstairs. down

40:01

and he is just sitting there on the porch looking at

40:03

me with the killing in his mouth and

40:06

at this point he starts to twitch. I

40:09

do it

40:11

oh no so I'm

40:14

watching for about 10 minutes he

40:17

goes trot off later about

40:20

a couple hours later I open the cat door and

40:25

I hear him come in and instinctively

40:28

I go to see what he is doing and

40:31

here he is with just a squirrel's head

40:33

in his mouth. I'd

40:36

say he's just some for you dad.

40:38

At this point like I said I'm

40:41

hungover still

40:44

and I just heart freakin' roll it on the floor.

40:46

Just out of reaction so

40:50

I clean that up