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Hi and welcome to the Midlife Feast

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, the podcast for women who are hungry

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for more in this season of life . I'm

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your host , Dr . Jenn Salib-Huber . I'm

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an intuitive eating dietitian and naturopathic

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doctor and I help women manage menopause

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without dieting and food rules . Come

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to my table , listen and learn from me

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trusted guest experts in women's

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health and interviews with women just like

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you . Each

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episode brings to the table juicy conversations designed to help

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you feast on midlife . And

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if you're looking for more information about menopause

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, nutrition and intuitive eating , check

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that combines my no-nonsense approach

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that you all love to nutrition with

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community , so that you can learn from me and

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others who can relate to the cheers and

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challenges of midlife . Hey everyone

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, I am popping in for a

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little solo podcast this

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week . So we've been talking

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about body acceptance and

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body appreciation and body image

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in the midlife feast community . We've

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had a couple of podcasts talking about it in the last month

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or so and I wanted to do

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a little quick one on body acceptance

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, specifically because there

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is some confusion

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around what body acceptance is

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and what it isn't , and

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why . Understanding what it actually

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is is key

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to being able to use it as

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a tool to help you feel better in

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and about your body . So I'm

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going to start this podcast with a little bit of a story

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. This isn't about one person

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, but it's kind of a mashup of

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stories that I hear all the time and

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I'm sure you'll recognize yourself or

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someone that you love in it . So here's how

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the story usually goes You're in midlife

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, which probably means that you're in it . So

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here's how the story usually goes . You're in midlife

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, which probably means that you're in your 40s , 50s , maybe

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even your 60s . You've

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been on a diet more than you've been off a diet , and there probably isn't a diet

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out there that you haven't tried at least once , which is why we

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keep going back . Right , and we keep going back because

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they sometimes work for a little while

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and feels like they

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should work if we just try hard enough

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. But you can't figure out why you can't make it stick

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. So by the time that

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you end up talking to me , you start by saying

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something like I know what I should

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be doing . I could write a book on

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it , but I just can't seem to make myself

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do it . But I don't

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want to spend the rest of my life on a diet either . So

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I need to learn how to accept my body as

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it is and what

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you're saying , what that person is saying , what pretty much

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everyone is saying in that moment is

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what I need to do is

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to learn how to live with feeling

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bad about my body . I

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need to learn to live with not

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feeling comfortable in my body , and

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I want you to know that that is not

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body acceptance and

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it's a big part of the problem , because our brains

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, our perfectly

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imperfect human brains , do not like

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to feel bad about anything

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. They will always want to find a way

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out of feeling bad right

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. So you've heard me say before , and other people , that

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our brains are hardwired

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to avoid pain and seek pleasure , and

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for so many of us , dieting

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is a habit . The diet cycle

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is the habit we fall into when

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we feel bad about our bodies . So

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when you're in this hypothetical

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situation that so many people relate

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to , where you don't

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feel great , you're tired

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of feeling like you're doing something wrong

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all the time . You're tired of starting a new diet

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every Monday . You're tired of feeling like everyone

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else gets it . What's wrong with me ? You

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can't expect to

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feel good by learning to live

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in the suck , as I call it right . So

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if dieting is

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the habit that you fall into

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, we need to change

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how you respond to that feeling

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. We need to acknowledge that you

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need a way out of the suck . You need a way

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out of feeling bad in and about your

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body . But starting

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another diet isn't going to get you there . So

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the biggest mistake that people

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make is believing that acceptance is

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accepting feeling bad about

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your body . That is

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not acceptance . That

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, my friends , is resignation . So

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the way that I describe this is that

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if you feel , if

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you say it is what it is and I just

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need to learn to live with it , that

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is resignation . But

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if you say it is what it is and

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I accept all of

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the circumstances , whether they were within

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my control or not , that have led me to

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this place and

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I'm not going to try and change the past

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or reinvent it , I'm just going to move forward

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, that is acceptance

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. So people are sometimes

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surprised that a

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dietician who specializes in menopause

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is spending so much time talking

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about body image instead of food . But

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when people ask me

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whether they should work on their relationship

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with food first or whether they should work

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on their relationship with their body image

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, I try and talk

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about this to illustrate how

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important it is that we're doing this

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work in parallel , because they do

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relate to each other . One

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influences the other a

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lot and if you're only

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trying to do one , you're only trying

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to work on your nutrition , but you're not trying

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to work towards this

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kind of compassionate body acceptance . It

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is going to feel hard if your body doesn't behave

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the way that you want it to , and

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vice versa . So , like I said , situation

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I described is resignation , and when

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we are resigned to anything

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, we feel like we have no control . We

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feel disempowered , there's nothing we

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can do . We just have to learn to live with it

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. And there are lots of

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things that we actually don't have control

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over and we do have to learn to live with . You

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know , you have to learn to live with the type

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of hair that you're born with , unless you're committed

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to changing the color and

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the . You know whether you have curly hair or straight hair . That's

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just one example . But there are times when we

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do have to learn to live with something , but you don't

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have to learn to live with

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feeling bad in and about

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your body . I'm

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going to say that again . You do not have to learn

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to live with feeling bad

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about your body , and

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that's where radical body

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acceptance comes in . So

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accepting your body for

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where it's at today , regardless

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of why or how

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or all the things you could have

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done differently , and deciding

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that how you want to feel in your

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body as you're living your life , that

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gets to make the decisions moving forward

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. That is acceptance

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. Acceptance is I

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do feel like I have autonomy

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over the choices that I am making and

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the path that I take , but

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I am not going to hold my body hostage

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. I'm not going to hold my life hostage

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as I wait to feel good in my body

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. One of the things that I love

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highlighting is that body acceptance

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allows you to shift the goalpost , because

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you're accepting that the changes that you

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make to your lifestyle , to

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your nutrition , to your movement , aren't

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going to hinge on what your body looks like as

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a measure of success or failure . Right , body

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acceptance allows you to stop letting your

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body image decide

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how you want to feel about

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yourself , and

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so the difference between resignation

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and acceptance might feel

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really obvious , or it might feel

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really subtle , but there is

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a line

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that is drawn between the two , and so , if you feel

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like your body acceptance journey , any

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body image work that you've been doing , or even

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just changing your relationship with food if you feel

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like it has left you feeling kind

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of hopeless and helpless . I

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want you to know that that is not where anybody

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thinks you should stay and

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there are ways that you can move

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forward with it . Part of it is understanding

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this difference between resignation

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and acceptance . Part of it

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is understanding the trap doors , as I call

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them , that kind of loop you back into the diet

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cycle before you even know what has happened

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, and that's

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one of the reasons why , on the 28th

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of April so if you're listening to this in April I

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would love for you to join me for

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my webinar how not to

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spend the rest of your life on a diet . You

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can find the link to sign up in the show notes and

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on social media , my links , all that kind of stuff . But

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this is a completely free

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webinar that is packed full

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of information that will help you to see

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that sitting in the sock

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is not where anybody

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thinks you should have to live

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and , as I always say , you

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deserve to feel good

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about your body

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. You deserve to feel confident that

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you know how to take care of it and how to

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live in it and

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you deserve to live

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in this body acceptance . So

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, as always

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, I love these conversations and it's always really

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funny when you're recording a podcast , because you're just talking

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to yourself for the most part when I do these

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solo ones . So I really appreciate all

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the feedback . I appreciate when somebody

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reaches out and says , hey , I really liked this

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, this or I learned something . So please

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let me know if you like this and , as

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always , if you have a minute to like

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and rate or leave a review on the podcast

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, that helps others to find us . But

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in the meantime , I am wishing

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you a day filled with body

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peace and I hope to see you

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on the 28th of April . If

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you're listening to this , you know , long

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after the 28th of April , you

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can always reach out to me and

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I will happily send you a copy

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of that replay . Okay , have a great day

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everyone . Thanks for

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tuning in to this week's episode of the Midlife

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Feast For more non-diet

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, health , hormone and general midlife support

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. Click the link in the show notes to learn

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how you can work and learn from me . And

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if you enjoyed this episode and found it helpful

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, please consider leaving a review or

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subscribing , because it helps other women just

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like you find us and feel supported

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in midlife .