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my name is caitlin and i

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am from pacific palisades with

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the to receive was growing up she

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always love going sleep or you

0:52

then one summer during high school

0:54

i aged out of the can't that i love and been

0:56

going to for several years but my parents

0:59

found an awesome eight week long performing

1:01

arts camp and interlock in michigan

1:03

and within hours all

1:05

that love for summer camp transformed

1:07

into blind rage

1:09

i right hand weights and measures

1:12

he had already played the names and bonded

1:15

and if it's time for wiped out

1:20

morning i awoke as

1:23

the worst person in the world i

1:26

became an unbearable privilege

1:29

rude fish a cross

1:31

between sheriff i'm clueless inside

1:33

nelson's character bender from

1:37

pirate radio job i feel

1:40

and this is martha to the on the

1:42

show i mean streets and

1:44

episode where we own up to be devil is

1:46

little monsters featuring the writings

1:48

of scenes who through a phase when to

1:51

be honest there were not so nice again

1:54

teeth

1:55

my cabin are being taped

1:57

and won't let me talk i choose

1:59

to it's

1:59

my i

2:02

sit up in bed lamb flashlight

2:04

and

2:05

the ocean front and wilde i

2:07

listened to my cabin wenches squirm

2:09

and sleepless agony of i take

2:12

my pen

2:13

i'm practicing not cursing word

2:15

i find swearing to be a beautiful form

2:17

of expression i fear the majority

2:19

of hobo butt plugs in my cabin students

2:22

sure my sentiment not

2:26

fucking not

2:27

the words oliver hear about

2:30

is a disrespectful i am sleep

2:32

when i was straightening up my bed sheets for an infection

2:34

that i could give a flying save testicle about

2:40

when you bet

2:41

well now it's like and saved him

2:43

imagine how people who me stay for two

2:45

weeks

2:46

anyway it's been hot as balls

2:49

lately there's not a fucking miles

2:51

outside or door and even the republicans

2:53

are sleeping in their underwear

3:04

i wonder what i do for exercise today if

3:07

you don't have to go running and lord like

3:09

it fucking sunburn and a weight room

3:11

as it is

3:11

functional shit or

3:14

i work my washing my hair things in the game

3:16

room i'm not all that worried that someone will

3:18

jack them most of the people interlock

3:20

and or to pussy whipped to go to scandalous

3:22

li to steal something

3:24

the

3:25

reading a pussy is my cabin

3:28

let's discuss

3:31

oh but i can say is saying suggesting

3:33

that the with for martha has a

3:35

twin and maybe i'm stephanie

3:37

are pretty hot mama we

3:41

do you to what a fucking tired as

3:43

hard to get a damn anywhere

3:46

else ever talks about his have damn dirty

3:48

disrespectful am fuckin

3:50

such to and carrollton sucks sometimes

3:53

sale girls know it's it's totally

3:55

fucking

3:55

but in every regard like the un

3:57

nikki but she's a little too much of a goody goody

4:00

been ages gave me a halt for

4:02

a breather cough drop and it is sam good

4:06

my that technology

4:08

has skyrocketed and

4:18

oh my golly i don't for

4:20

the most amazing porno conversation

4:22

with dothan this , most

4:24

def one of the more entertaining rehearsals

4:27

think the always seem to go my way i have coffee

4:29

and and also had we

4:32

also have some fun last night martha

4:35

and i got down to the bear essential and

4:37

pictures of her bent over and something

4:39

her and swirling my booty shorts round over

4:41

my head cowboy style

4:43

any you

4:45

know

4:46

during a rather scandalous

4:48

a spin the bottle i was made sweet

4:50

face kissing less you by the every

4:53

day and beautiful john who is literally

4:55

the most incredulous jews in your pants

4:57

kiss or imaginable ah

5:00

why must i love a gay man

5:05

god and i really want anyone can

5:07

be a lesbian when there's so beautiful game

5:10

dig out there in the world june

5:16

twenty seven oh

5:18

dear sweet ass lot i'm

5:21

afraid i'm a bit stress since

5:23

i was just so how's this for fucking

5:26

sexual i am by accounts or who

5:28

isn't even mine

5:29

i'm really fucking tired of being called disrespectful

5:32

i believe you feel the need

5:34

to what the bill every five seconds to give

5:36

the disrespect

5:37

either we inherited as ugliness

5:39

and by nature cannot be controlled

5:44

how can a man yes

5:47

, i've heard came to

5:49

death see uses a rather interesting

5:52

tobias as she calls it the pleasure

5:54

herself a hairbrush can make

5:56

you pretty and make you feel good

5:59

so i'd hands what

6:02

am i just ruin a

6:04

perfectly good anorexic days with

6:06

the purity dried apricots sprint

6:08

strips and a pre of ours

6:12

but whatever i did run in the rain i

6:15

can't imagine what it would be like to

6:17

be was considered of normal female wait

6:20

say i live in an area

6:22

so fixated on the ideal by

6:25

the media i

6:29

did a poor paid letter to sammy and

6:32

caroline i'm such a fucking good

6:34

friend

6:37

july fifteen the what's happening

6:40

hannah thought i was really homesick

6:43

dot and of much i lost his along

6:45

for a typical sunday at home of scones

6:48

and my coffee bean delights

6:50

tried i'm talking about the things that

6:52

they're gone forever

6:54

oh god not on sucking would

6:58

kristen gave our cabin another discussion

7:00

about the swearing problem that

7:02

has unfortunately been resurrected

7:05

honestly what the big fucking deal bad

7:09

i didn't really give a rat's ass have

7:11

some adult i didn't even know and

7:14

will never see again me say set

7:16

my hairy zoo billy bob that mother

7:18

fucking county rabid city to absorb

7:21

said

7:27

yeah i'll watch my language or on my grandparents

7:30

and my family and shit but other than that

7:32

it isn't worth censoring myself for

7:37

money but my armor

7:43

finally satisfied myself a couple

7:45

nights ago said a total of

7:47

thirty seconds i didn't think it possible

7:50

without my

7:51

that

7:52

any him i'm

7:54

so a point where i can't see myself i

7:57

guess we'll try to switch my mood oh

8:00

he martha fucking pissed me

8:02

off though when she said i was from fumble

8:04

thought california i

8:06

to be with her anywhere in california could even be

8:08

referred to as some of us

8:15

like involved

8:16

i would hurt it back arguing the

8:19

palisades it's in los angeles and

8:21

then it's the mother fucking which is part of

8:23

los angeles my

8:26

missouri in problem

8:33

it's not that big a deal i

8:35

know my heart that i am not am bubble

8:37

of persuasion so suck me

8:39

off

8:45

july twenty

8:47

you're very unsanitary a

8:50

i actually got actually little bit between my

8:52

boobs

8:53

which kind of freaks me out

8:55

god say this is not a turning point

8:57

for my perfect chef complex than i

9:01

was just was home for like a so

9:03

i could learn to appreciate camp and then come back

9:06

eight weeks or so damn long and

9:09

, a fucking pratt also also

9:12

better than almost anyone i when

9:15

i'm done with a sage i'm gonna go back see how

9:17

many pages of and fitting for a

9:20

few weeks later i left interlock

9:22

and later i that terrible girl behind

9:24

never

9:25

he would you can get a new

9:31

that was tingling toward risi at modified

9:33

event in los angeles

9:38

my name is josh appelbaum

9:42

when i was nine years old in fourth

9:44

grade aus inspired to begin

9:46

keeping a journal if just as grade school

9:48

journal reveals anything it's that

9:51

even the sweetest of mama's boys can

9:53

be filled with an endless well of frustrations

9:55

ah couple , before

9:58

i jump and haired woman

9:59

i'm not an into the first and despite

10:02

what i'm about to read into

10:06

it you are sensitive about language

10:09

or

10:10

the kids in here this is not for you

10:16

the hundred twenty six nineteen ninety

10:18

five today

10:21

, had diarrhea but

10:23

other than that it was that it deaths

10:26

now i know how to turn on the computer and get

10:28

his attention

10:30

i'm also getting used to how to use the we're cheese

10:33

and playing tetris

10:34

into the alley got me to goosebumps

10:37

i think i'm in are either both behind my mom

10:39

and dad bags

10:43

january first nineteen ninety six

10:47

new years day and it's ninety ninety six

10:51

and certain that way at twelve o'clock last night

10:55

i need my mom really angry today because they

10:57

poured orange juice on top of the wood burning

10:59

stove intended

11:02

, city and she can have weeded out the so

11:06

so said it was coming out of my allowance right

11:08

now she's out taking now she's when she does

11:11

when gets really mad somebody in the sand

11:18

january second nineteen ninety six

11:21

today today we

11:23

have music in school

11:25

get up with a jumper we did we

11:27

did you practice that was really suck

11:29

because they don't play any sounds you used illicit

11:32

drugs exposed to me your

11:35

bird nineteen ninety six

11:38

they know to last me alley

11:40

and brand and got a job in marjah shoveling snow

11:43

read and got frostbite had to home with juba

11:48

mean alley say that fiber lousy

11:51

pay for like an hour worked selling tons

11:53

of snow offers you sports

11:56

my mom is leaving for india tomorrow india

11:58

already miss her miss getting gear

12:00

that her plane is gonna crash and so thought

12:04

there's just too scary

12:09

january fourth

12:12

nineteen ninety six

12:14

they are going change death

12:16

i got to zizek the shayna i sort

12:18

of have a crush on her i think she

12:21

likes me to a little bit the

12:23

bad thing is that your best charlotte

12:29

though is a fat pig that fits

12:35

the need for all three meals

12:41

oh aren't

12:45

those today was the day my mom and for india

12:50

me and my dad are gonna make little

12:52

the over her on my word processing

12:58

january six nineteen

13:00

ninety six

13:01

they were the days i eat and kallio came back

13:04

from puerto rico

13:05

the you to this has a huge ten years

13:07

and use the cold here bed at

13:09

porto rico there are lots of babes on the beaches

13:13

he said he had he had they had sex

13:15

not that believe system that story

13:23

january nineteen ninety six

13:30

the school we had to read and write

13:31

and iran my favorite topic for

13:35

my , subway my favorite series goose

13:38

bumps i'll sign says

13:41

it is done magazine article in

13:43

the new yorker that said since shouldn't read

13:45

them an

13:47

article by diane west sam

13:50

that west

13:54

january eleven nineteen

13:57

nineties

13:59

the day and

13:59

where i finished isaac with fever

14:02

and he settled on it's

14:04

because miss gallagher so strict she

14:06

says us to the off

14:08

that is such a mother

14:10

fucking click click

14:11

king henry sucking moronic

14:14

fit in with someday i'm at a bus

14:16

his nose

14:29

january twelve ninety six

14:32

they are plantar booker's for

14:34

once we ordered them in december

14:36

and i can't believe it takes so fucking loss

14:41

i got a good book i

14:47

got goosebumps both the adventures

14:49

of tom sawyer and have been and last

14:51

but not least a diary with a lock

14:53

on it all the girls

14:55

sees me about it has so has sale

14:57

for my mom

15:01

seen a taught me how to lock and unlock the i

15:03

think she likes me i liked or two

15:07

january thirteenth nineteen

15:09

ninety six weeping

15:11

over alleys tonight we're going to see so story

15:13

it's movie

15:17

don't think it's a day for that not

15:19

me an alley always the movies together but

15:21

never date never january

15:25

fourteen ninety fourteen ninety

15:28

they were to soccer awards dinner at the blue

15:30

jeans take out

15:31

some people i saw there were alan

15:34

taylor and the rest of my soccer team

15:36

and my god damn bus drivers

15:41

haters so much to say things

15:43

away from kids in the bud and gives them to her

15:45

songs

15:49

after today the dallas cowboys in the green

15:51

bay packers place i went for the cowboys

15:54

and they

15:54

like twenty seven thirty eight

16:00

january seventeenth to ninety ninety

16:03

six

16:04

they go at recess everybody was

16:07

calling me cherry bomb i

16:09

punched and post and this kid this didn't even

16:11

know his commentary box the

16:13

person to hard he ran away

16:15

why would push me from behind so so

16:18

i just jumped on him and push them down

16:20

into the most

16:21

like a made up word for months now

16:25

then gotta really angry

16:28

and pretty against the wall and started punching

16:30

me and then i started pushing him a lot the

16:33

was a game and then we had to back to the classroom

16:37

january eighteen nineteen

16:39

ninety six

16:41

today on a school bus i beat up

16:43

christian guns

16:47

i wrote a name an allergy i

16:50

didn't put a capital on his name because he doesn't

16:52

deserve

17:00

i also points you're going to get ahead

17:03

johan is the bus drivers son

17:12

the river the buddha frightening thing with

17:14

been take heed my friends and

17:16

then you're on did something bad something don't know

17:18

what and he had to come up front and say would may

17:20

have been

17:21

me and been pushed him in the first i was

17:28

january twentieth nineteen ninety

17:30

six

17:31

there dot

17:32

would happen it's a movie based in the book

17:34

tom sawyer

17:36

auto me and my daddy's entered alleys

17:38

out after dinner we got a movie called

17:40

the lord play born which freaking

17:42

curses and

17:45

january twenty third ninety ninety

17:47

six today

17:49

go out going to fight david ruger at recess

17:52

city called cherry bomb on us

17:54

all fourth grade i'm

17:58

getting used to it

18:01

no anyway we're gonna buy and

18:04

nevermind

18:05

author

18:06

our join join chorus i can't

18:08

wait to hear the spring i bet it

18:10

simply will not make the paper this year

18:15

january twenty fourth nineteen ninety six

18:18

they are got a lotta trouble is

18:21

a good antwan around the room like ten

18:23

times then , we're

18:25

we're walk in the hallway to launch a doing

18:27

his name a lot but say in the way that makes

18:30

him mad antwan

18:33

also today we had fucking indoor

18:36

recess the race

18:39

i have a lot of homework to do i get

18:42

it was a fucking data me january

18:45

twenty fifth

18:46

ninety six

18:49

today we're out to recess but

18:51

i the same size as a sony

18:55

sony the once it

18:56

amphibians i tomorrow to that

18:58

he said it was being smart

19:03

january twenty ninth ninety ninety six

19:06

the more about on going home she's

19:08

coming here and appliance

19:12

my dad is getting me out of school early go

19:14

to pick her up in queens at jfk okay

19:17

then for i don't know

19:19

but i know the cases for candidates

19:25

author although

19:29

i got my asthma back guys the

19:34

only one has gyms today and we had to run

19:37

like hell i was so success january

19:44

thirtieth ninety ninety six today

19:46

we went to pick up my mom in queens i

19:48

the tour of new york city i saw

19:50

the med stadium and before that i saw

19:52

the yankee stadium it's

19:56

not that i like baseball i hate baseball

20:00

january thirty first

20:02

eighty ninety six at school

20:04

you fucking indoor recess because it was snowing

20:07

although i heard

20:09

it's weird story about jesse markets

20:11

and valerie campbell see their boyfriend

20:13

girlfriend said she dumped him now but in

20:15

second grade they were making

20:17

out

20:22

that you reverse ninety ninety six

20:26

february at

20:30

school we had fucking indoor recess is insane

20:37

my dad had some snow tonight and i this

20:40

those who tomorrow

20:41

i can't wait till saturday could on saturday

20:43

i'm gonna toys r us

20:47

saturday february third nineteen

20:50

ninety six

20:51

they saw my

20:54

, was going to take any toys r us but he

20:56

got sick and wouldn't take me also

21:00

tomorrow i have tomorrow i tournament warwick

21:03

at the wake up at six thirty in the morning to go

21:06

i don't think we're going to work as a team their

21:08

ten and under and me and my team early

21:10

nine years

21:16

february force

21:19

nineteen ninety six today

21:21

the tournament i played was the worst i've

21:23

ever played we got

21:25

last place oasis

21:28

we want zero and losses

21:30

god

21:33

damn the

21:36

lady reverie stuff actually

21:38

, wrestled with the lady was the worse

21:43

it was one of the worst days of my miserable

21:45

fuck it fits in for a life

22:01

february seven nineteen ninety six

22:04

i am a bot they're gonna fight it

22:07

all started when i was on the see

22:11

than how we started pushing my feet then

22:13

i punched him

22:14

then he got up and started the fight by forcing

22:17

me then i present

22:19

me

22:20

and i hit him in a mass

22:24

so sorry bad

22:26

for twenty two years i

22:28

promise i'm a peaceful productive member

22:30

of society

22:32

the reality of a lot of energy as a

22:34

kid

22:34

and it clearly came out pretty

22:37

peculiarly ah

22:39

you know how is rambunctious out competitive

22:41

and competitive really did not like being inside

22:43

during recess

22:46

i did draper to my fourth grade selfish

22:49

to take the time to document a

22:51

little prick i was

23:02

that was josh appelbaum a mortified

23:04

event in brooklyn at little field and

23:07

this today's episode where we learned

23:09

some things life are so beautiful they

23:11

can melt the coldest of hearts

23:13

they've been a to save me a halt for

23:16

a breeder cough drop and it is ten

23:18

my known

23:21

as he has skyrocketed

23:27

everything shared of today show was

23:29

to though she knows as ratings

23:32

to scour given awkwardness of course it's

23:34

craving more mortification cities

23:36

episode pairs nicely with episode one

23:39

to the movies as an episode

23:41

western four times a total first

23:44

did you know that we make stuff other than other

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than we do visit

23:48

get muteferrika com to get there has

23:50

a dream where to buy gifts including for

23:52

three books official mortified t shirts

23:54

or even on party game careful

23:57

with i decide where you get from friends to

23:59

their shouted stories and

24:01

if you've got says he's nineteen thirteen

24:04

check out our hilarious and educational podcasts

24:06

may just for tweens called who

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24:15

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24:18

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24:20

a fan

24:24

this series is a team effort and a podcast

24:26

production team for this episode includes

24:28

hadley beyond myself

24:31

some of material feature,

24:33

this episode was produced for stage by

24:35

ann jansen smith and john dorsey we're

24:38

just some of the many amazing is

24:40

work make the stage show possible end credit

24:42

music by snake, snake snakes, this

24:44

has been more defined media production for

24:47

a utopia from here till

24:49

next time, remind you that we freaks

24:51

we are and

24:53

we all survived