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Best Of: Being Dan Malkovich

Best Of: Being Dan Malkovich

Released Monday, 13th November 2023
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Best Of: Being Dan Malkovich

Best Of: Being Dan Malkovich

Best Of: Being Dan Malkovich

Best Of: Being Dan Malkovich

Monday, 13th November 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
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Episode Transcript

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1:59

But for the most part, you know you I'm

2:02

assuming you come out as is and you grow

2:04

up and you know It's genetics. So

2:06

what you know, he's doing the best he can.

2:08

Yeah, and not for nothing. He's eating eggshells and

2:12

That's probably not helping that's probably not helping

2:15

the voice you probably have a lot better voice if he wasn't eating eggshells

2:17

as a youth

2:21

This episode is brought to you by Amazon I

2:24

love the holidays I'll never forget when I was a

2:26

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3:26

you know that when Dan was a child? He was a He

3:29

was a concert virtuoso. He had souls

3:31

all the time. You know that diet wait,

3:33

right? The diet messed him

3:35

up. Yeah, man. No, no, not at all. Everybody knows I

3:47

Would if I would if you told me yeah, that's true

3:49

out about it He's done a lot of things

3:51

in his life wouldn't be surprised But

3:54

I don't know if one day is gonna do it This we're talking

3:56

about a lifetime of damage to

3:58

his body to his digestive tract track. So

4:00

you got some making up to do. Yeah. What? 30,

4:03

30 plus years of just torture to that.

4:08

Yeah. Yeah. And just, you should just

4:10

stay the way you are. Just

4:12

stay the way you are.

4:14

The way you are legitimate

4:17

concern on the look of what's his face

4:19

to know. Just stay the way you are. Yeah.

4:22

By the time this airs, by the time this

4:25

airs, he'll have had his birthday already. So

4:27

happy belated birthday. Yeah. The

4:29

happiest, the happiest. That's our

4:31

guy. That's our guy. Yeah. But you make

4:33

a hell of a Dan though. Alex. Yeah,

4:36

I tried. And also you make him even better.

4:38

Alex. As much as I liked

4:41

Dan, I don't know that I'd want

4:45

to be him necessarily. And

4:47

that's not a shot at Dan. It's just, you know, I

4:49

like, I like me for me, you know,

4:52

have you, have you seen being John Malkovich? We've talked, I've

4:55

talked about this before. I, I, oh God, a years ago. Yeah.

4:57

I'm not, I don't remember it like specifically,

5:00

but yes, I did see it. And

5:02

this is not to besmirch Dan's life,

5:04

but imagine you go in thinking like, Oh, I

5:06

get to be someone cool. Like John Malkovich and

5:08

you just come out and you're Dan. Oh my

5:13

God. Oh, great. I had the great life.

5:16

Don't let me. You

5:18

can't put it with a no offense and then

5:20

on the other end, no, no, no, I'm walking

5:26

the back. Like Dan has a great life. He worked in

5:29

video games for like over a decade.

5:31

Now he

5:34

does his podcast. Like where he

5:36

once got married at Taco Bell. He's got a great wife.

5:39

He's killing it, but he's not

5:41

John Malkovich. That's my point. You ain't

5:43

going to the Oscars

5:50

in this body. Just know that. And think

5:53

of the things too, when you're inside the

5:55

body too. So you're eating the eggshells with him too.

5:57

You're doing, you're doing all that. You're walking around in his body.

5:59

You don't have any. I mean all the horrible guard

6:01

off with things that you were exposed to

6:03

because of Dan, you know what I'm saying? I'm just

6:06

saying. Yeah. What about the good things? The

6:08

happiness that he brings people. Yeah. That's

6:11

not funny though. That's not funny. We

6:13

can't. We can't laugh at people's happiness. I'm

6:15

trying to be the other side because I don't want to know. We

6:17

need to balance. Right. You're

6:19

right. Just imagine you're all excited.

6:24

Like, Oh, even if you thought like,

6:26

I'm going to be a celebrity or someone important

6:28

and you walk around and you look in the mirror, you're

6:31

looking at your body, your spindly

6:34

body.

6:35

I'm putting into this.

6:37

No, but keep going. Let's

6:44

stop the car. Let's go to the scene. You're

6:46

going to go inside. No, I'm not done driving. No,

6:48

I'm going to get more. I guess I'm not a wheelchair. You know,

6:50

I guess I'm still, I have to find the use of my

6:52

leg. I

6:59

guess my skin

7:01

is sagging too much. You

7:04

know, I guess you take a few

7:06

minutes to take stock of your life and you

7:08

think, I guess I'll deal with this

7:10

body. You know, my legs,

7:13

they kind of work to get me from point A to point B.

7:15

But this isn't what

7:19

I signed up for. All right. I'll take

7:21

it. Look, lovely man. I love him. Definitely.

7:25

No, you cannot. You're not allowed to do that. Why

7:28

not? But I love

7:30

Dan and then say a couple of nice things. You

7:39

just took a dump on him. You went five

7:41

minutes straight and you can't then bring it

7:43

back to all but a great guy. Like,

7:46

no, no, you talk about the elasticity of his

7:48

skin. You know, you went indeed.

7:51

Yeah. No, you can't hit a blessed heart

7:53

after that. No, it's been the arms. This

7:55

is like he's not playing a character. This is like

7:58

his actual like his actual person. Listen,

8:00

you know, look Brody's taught

8:02

me many years ago that if you start with the no offense,

8:05

you can do whatever you want. But

8:08

no offense kills everything else

8:10

out. So he can't be a person. I said

8:12

no offense. You did say no in all fairness. You

8:14

did. You knew you were pushing it because every

8:16

couple of insults you would throw another one in there. Right.

8:20

Because I'm balancing it out. You know, courtesy. Right.

8:23

Exactly. It's like a courtesy. So

8:25

the first one was like, oh, you're going to be a

8:27

courtesy. So the first

8:29

no offense is just as soon as you walk in the bathroom, you just flush

8:32

before anything even happened. Yes. Yeah.

8:35

I'm about to back all this thing. I'm about to spackle. This

8:37

is bull. Right. Exactly. Plus

8:40

a few times in between, you know, still comes out clean

8:42

on the other end. Yeah. Precisely.

8:45

No. Precisely. Look,

8:48

if you ended up in some kind of a wormhole or some

8:50

kind of a portal to someone's body and

8:52

you ended up as Dan, are you trying

8:54

to tell me you're, you would just be filled with glee?

8:57

You would just be ecstatic. Or would you

8:59

take stock of what body you're walking around

9:01

and say, I guess, I

9:03

guess this will do. That's

9:06

that was my only point. That's that's kind of the approach

9:08

I'm coming in. Dan, lovely.

9:10

I'm not saying that walking around in my body

9:12

would be the same thing. Like, oh, you

9:15

know, I guess this will do too. So I'm not saying

9:17

I'm any better. I'm not trying to say that. I'm

9:20

just saying. You didn't know. It

9:22

may be the same thing, but you didn't. You didn't

9:25

go in. You just put the possibility out there and mind

9:28

you. And I was going to say this to you, you know,

9:30

we've been waiting here and you know, you got

9:32

your cut off Jimmy seafood

9:34

sleeveless shirt on like you just came out the

9:37

squat rack looking vascular arms

9:39

popping. You know what I'm saying? I see you and

9:41

you are. So now you're running down Dan over

9:43

here. But then here you are looking, you know, looking

9:46

thick and D's, you know what I'm saying? I

9:48

don't know, man. Well, what are you

9:50

doing? No, that wasn't that wasn't the point,

9:52

first of all. It's really, I think

9:54

you were flexing the whole time he was talking.

10:00

First of all, you ran down Dan spindly arms. The

10:02

last episode we aired was you

10:04

shouldn't even

10:10

be defending this man because he buried

10:12

you. And for no reason in front of the people you

10:14

work hard, work real hard. And he

10:16

talked about, he had the nerve to

10:19

talk about how you Mr. Flight and all

10:21

that jazz. So he exposed you, he made a fool out of you.

10:23

So I don't know why you're defending him in the first place.

10:26

Honestly, cause my, my life

10:28

is great. My life is great. You can

10:30

say whatever you want to me and I'll still, I'll probably

10:32

defend you. Why? Cause I wake up in the morning.

10:34

It's me. I wake up in the morning. It's me and I love it. Dan.

10:37

That's right. Thank you for bringing it

10:40

back around. Thank you for bringing it back around. This

10:44

is me. You can't see it, but I just, I hit my gavel.

10:46

Case closed. The case is

10:48

closed. Case dismissed. I

10:52

suppose we should get into who we, we are, what

10:54

our names are and whatnot. Oh,

10:57

I am Xavier Woods, AKA Austin Creed.

11:00

And I am Kofi Kingston.

11:02

Yes. And I am big

11:04

E. And for a lot of you youngins, some of y'all,

11:07

you know, I've been made aware that, you know, for this podcast,

11:09

I tend to think wrestling fans are like me,

11:12

they're my age, whatever. But you know, there's, there's

11:14

a lot of people who listen to this podcast who are

11:16

not adults, you know, they're children and

11:18

they might not have been around for the big

11:20

E Langston era. All you know is big

11:23

E. So you think, all right, you know, cool.

11:26

I guess do a couple of things, but

11:28

you weren't there. You weren't

11:30

there. If you're, if you're like five,

11:33

six years old, you were not

11:35

there for my prime, my

11:37

physical prime, the big E

11:39

Langston days. You didn't see the way I moved. You

11:42

didn't see the way my body glistened,

11:44

glisten with just that, that

11:47

youthful virility is what that is. So I

11:49

would challenge you that if you were, let

11:51

me see, how long has it been, man? Oh, it's definitely been

11:54

pre new day. So more than seven, man,

11:56

think about that. Think about little seven year

11:58

old kids. who have no

12:01

idea who Biggie Langston is. They have

12:03

no conception of, they know this

12:05

Biggie, they know that, but Langston,

12:07

who is that? Well, do some digging. Hop

12:10

up on your Peacock, go to the YouTubes,

12:12

whatever you need to do, and look up Biggie Langston. And

12:14

that was a man, you know, this is, you're used

12:16

to the shell of my former self.

12:19

That's the Biggie, and I'm trying my best to

12:22

live up to what I used to be. But

12:24

I would challenge you to do some

12:26

digging, do some research, head to your local library,

12:29

and do some

12:31

digging, because Biggie Langston, he

12:33

was boy, he was something, he

12:35

was something. When they go to the library, what should

12:37

they do to find the information

12:40

on you? I don't know, I'm sure there were books written. We

12:42

wrote a book. I'm

12:46

sure somebody wrote a

12:48

book about this, right? It got to be

12:51

in there somewhere. Look through that, do it decimal

12:53

distance. I'm not saying it's just me. By

12:56

the way, yeah, I'm gonna

12:58

send a book, just about me, you know? I'm the library.

13:01

Yeah, by the way, I don't know if you guys

13:03

ever did this, but did you ever, what's

13:06

so funny? He's on

13:08

delay. He's

13:11

on a three second delay, like five seconds. Oh

13:13

no. The choke is past. No,

13:16

I was wondering, I was wondering

13:18

like why, okay,

13:22

that makes more sense, that makes more sense.

13:24

This is, because in my head, this has been oh, very

13:26

weird 10 minutes communication wise. That

13:29

makes sense. Oh, I didn't realize the

13:31

delay was that significant. Yeah.

13:34

This is gonna be something. Anyways, one

13:36

of the things we talked about libraries, I fondly remembered

13:38

back in the day, being able to rent videos,

13:41

not rent, sorry, just take out videos

13:43

from the library. Cause you know, when you don't have all the money

13:45

in the world, it's nice to be able to go to the library

13:48

and just check out a movie. And

13:51

you know, they didn't always have the newest titles. I'm not saying that.

13:54

But you know, if I wanted to watch some ghost dad,

13:57

probably find it out the library, you know. Some classics.

14:00

Right. It's like not quite classics, but that's what

14:02

I did with my life

14:03

back in the day They had and when

14:06

I was in college at our library we had all

14:08

the seasons of law and order like original

14:10

law and order and So once

14:13

we found them because it was like in the basement. It's like

14:15

oh wait, there's DVDs down here We saw this whole thing. So we

14:17

went through all of law and order to check them

14:19

out at the library

14:22

And you watch all of it. Yeah as

14:24

much as they had so it's like, I don't

14:26

know like 12 seasons or something Respect

14:29

call me just giggling this delay. I don't know what

14:32

the delay. I don't know why it's funny to me It

14:34

shouldn't be that funny But the delay is hilarious because

14:36

you'll ask the question and then it's like

14:39

the five-second pause and you answer

14:41

It's not funny when I explain it either, but no

14:44

it really is But

14:47

just still giggling should we explain why woods is on

14:49

a little bit of a delay? Oh, yeah, we haven't yeah So

14:53

let the people know why you are delayed sir, please.

14:55

So I'm on the lakes. I'm not at home I

14:58

decided to with the family go

15:01

on a little vacation to hang

15:03

out with the in-laws So

15:05

I am NOT at home. So I'm my portable

15:08

setup and this place We are staying has

15:11

quite possibly the slowest Wi-Fi and

15:13

apparently Light that just flicker

15:15

on and off if you're seeing the video version of this. So

15:18

hence my delay I made my

15:20

flight this time, but then rushed

15:22

an hour to this Airbnb Just

15:25

make sure that we could do this podcast. And so

15:27

what you get today is what you get today Grateful

15:31

in other words be grateful for what you get, you

15:34

know Just like then right?

15:36

You got what he got right? Well,

15:38

what else what else is he gonna do, you know? He

15:42

doesn't have the option Unless

15:44

he finds like a crank or something Inside

15:50

of a larger robot body Are

15:55

you thinking his whole body is in this body or just

15:57

keep his brain inside the body That's

16:00

a choice that he can make. I'll leave that up to him. Whoa.

16:04

Crang with the Dan voice. Now, Crang, Crang,

16:06

talk a little bit about my body and my grandma.

16:08

But then you put the Kermit, He made

16:10

my body, midget. So, well, that

16:12

might be, we might be on to something. I don't know. Dan

16:15

with the Crang, that might be a hell of

16:17

an infusion. You might need to look into that, if

16:20

possible. Right. His body's good

16:22

enough to get him to do what he

16:24

needs to do, you know. It's not

16:26

like, it's not like it's failing him. But

16:28

I'm just saying, and what is not rolling his eyes? I'm

16:30

just trying to make a point. Again, no offense.

16:33

I said no offense. I also said

16:35

I love him, a great human being. So that

16:37

means I can say what I want to buy. I can talk down on

16:39

him now, because I can clear it out the way.

16:42

And that's really what I want to extend

16:44

to more of you. To teach

16:46

the lessons to you, the broadest ones

16:48

taught to me. That if you say no offense,

16:51

you can pretty much run down people if you want

16:54

to. And they can't be offended because you prefaced

16:56

it with a no offense. So let's try that more

16:58

in our lives, you know. Let's have some more courtesy

17:00

in our lives. That's all I'm asking.

17:02

It's really about being thoughtful, you know. Because

17:05

if you take away the ability for someone,

17:07

the option for them to be offended, you should

17:09

be able to say whatever you want, you know. And

17:11

you're thinking about their feelings when you say no offense,

17:14

before you go into saying whatever. A lot of people just

17:16

talk and they just throw out these insults, you

17:18

know. And they leave it open. Of course

17:20

you're going to be offended. But if you say no offense first,

17:23

then, you know, they don't have a choice. I

17:25

feel like it is kind of thoughtful when you think about it. Thank

17:28

you.

17:28

Thank you for supporting me, Kofa.

17:30

Very kind of you. Support your homies, you know. Support

17:32

your homies. Not enough of that. Not enough of that,

17:35

actually. We need to support more of our

17:37

homies. And I think if we all

17:39

use... What other words are there like that?

17:42

Like homies? No, no, no. Like a

17:44

no offense. Bless his heart.

17:46

Yeah. Right. Or

17:48

I'm just saying, you know, I love you, but then

17:51

you could really say whatever you want. So

17:54

growing up in Georgia, one of my daycare

17:56

teachers would say, that

17:58

boy's touched. Oh

18:01

yeah. Like that

18:03

means he's a little wild, but then

18:05

they talk about him. Just like they said, bless your soul. And I was

18:08

like, Oh, he's, he's

18:09

a little extra. Like y'all are being

18:12

real low key mean to these kids. Yeah.

18:16

Yeah. To me, see where I came from.

18:18

When you say that, if you say that boy's little touch,

18:21

that means his cognitive abilities aren't

18:23

what you would like them to be. Yeah.

18:25

It was like the nice way to say it.

18:27

Right.

18:28

Right. We might bring that back. You might need to bring

18:30

that back.

18:31

You're a little touched. Yeah. I

18:34

feel like it won't hit the same in 2021. It'll probably

18:37

sound different.

18:38

You might be right. But who knows until

18:40

we try, you know, that's such a life. Yeah. You

18:42

are correct. You are correct. You're a color track. Yeah.

18:47

Am I still on the, on the delay? A

18:49

little bit. A little bit. Okay. All right. But

18:51

I got, maybe not that bad.

18:53

It comes and it goes.

18:56

Ask me a question. Uh,

18:59

what product did you use in your hair today?

19:00

None. Wow. The

19:03

delay. There we go. There

19:05

was no delay at all for me. That was barely right. Right

19:07

on top of it. Good. Good. Okay. We can continue.

19:10

He's back. He's back.

19:12

Respect. Okay. So I got to, I feel like I got to explain

19:14

why I'm not jumping fully on the Dan, uh,

19:17

slander train and it's because Dan

19:19

is in control of a lot of things that we do on

19:22

this podcast. And you

19:25

guys don't know Dan. Like I know Dan, I've been

19:27

in competitions with Dan weapon made to drink pickle

19:29

smoothies, uh, then

19:32

made to eat mayonnaise on hot dogs because

19:34

Dan's mind works differently. So if

19:36

you guys want to keep going in on Dan, be

19:39

my guest, but it's going to come back. Like

19:41

we said, this man needs eggshells on purpose. He's

19:44

got, he's touched. He's a little touched. That

19:47

was a little ominous the way

19:49

you, you put it.

19:54

Well,

19:55

Dan is ominous. I see Dan is an ominous figure

19:58

in my life. Yes. See, I see Dan

20:00

is a very kindhearted man who will just let insults

20:02

just wash over him. You know, very, very, very

20:05

forgiving, very, very

20:08

in one ear out the other ear. And I think

20:10

that's, you know, that's why I chose him really

20:12

is because I didn't fear him. I

20:14

feared no reprisement. I

20:21

go about my life thinking I'm wearing Teflon,

20:23

you know, Teflon Don was was

20:26

the name of

20:26

actually I'm blanking on the

20:29

who

20:29

was Teflon Don again, not Rick Ross.

20:32

Teflon Dan stole it. Oh, John Gotti.

20:34

That was John Gotti's nickname because cases

20:36

couldn't stick. And in

20:39

much the same way, I tend to think of myself

20:41

as Teflon and that I fear no

20:43

reprisal, you know,

20:45

whatever comes back to me. So I'm betting

20:48

on stick. You know what I'm saying? Whatever

20:50

you put in, he goes, stick. You

20:52

can't get me. You can't.

20:54

You can't

20:57

punish me. No,

21:00

Teflon. Teflon. That's

21:02

right. That's my perspective.

21:04

And I do. I appreciate your healthy respect

21:07

of Dan record. Yes.

21:09

Alex has reminded us, of course, I'm aware

21:11

of the the Rick Ross album. I mean, don't be

21:14

first of all, Alex right now is trying to pull my

21:16

hip hop card. Of course, I know

21:19

about Teflon Don the album.

21:21

I've heard of Rick Ross. First of all,

21:23

it started with John Gotti. That was my point. That

21:26

was my point, Alex. My other point

21:28

is, if you want to go into your hip hop, you try

21:31

to school me. Come back on the screen, Alex.

21:33

Come back on the screen. I love Rick Ross music, you know,

21:35

but again, he borrowed that from Freeway

21:38

Ricky Ross, who was an actual person

21:40

who had moved these units, if you know what kind

21:42

of units I'm talking about. So my

21:45

point stands, Alex. There

21:48

he is. Yeah. Yeah. That

21:51

was just a reminder, not a I

21:53

know more than you or a I have any

21:56

knowledge of the genre whatsoever. So

21:58

question your hip hop. You

22:03

gotta understand he's on roll right now. Anybody

22:05

gets in his way. He's gonna go off for about 10

22:07

minutes. I'm not taking it personally by any means.

22:10

I'm just spraying. I'm not taking out

22:15

my scope right now. I'm not, I'm not being

22:17

precise right now. I'm a butcher right now. I'm

22:19

just, I'm hacking away and whoever

22:21

wants to compete. You're Batista

22:24

on the entrance. That's right. I'm just

22:29

trying to do a lot of damage. That's all I'm trying to do in my life.

22:31

Yeah. He just, he's trying to cleanse himself today.

22:33

He's trying to get everything out. You got the, I see you

22:35

got the tea in there too. You're drinking tea. I don't drink

22:38

a tea. It's a chamomile

22:40

tea. Yeah. I don't have any real clubs or mugs,

22:42

but yeah, I like to get

22:44

a little sleepy time in me because for

22:46

some reason what that was my,

22:48

that was my go-to tea as a kid. Sleepy

22:50

time. Sleepy time is a good tea. Yeah. It's

22:53

good tea. Yeah. I don't know what happened to me, but

22:55

pretty much right where after I turned 35, my body said

22:59

that I, you know, I'm not going to get normal sleep without,

23:02

you know, any kind of enhancements to sort.

23:04

So I do chamomile tea to try to

23:07

ease myself with problem is it's very hot right

23:09

now. And we also have the lights of this, uh,

23:12

the setup right now. And I'm leaking. I'm

23:14

leaking right now.

23:15

That's my life. Yeah.

23:18

So troublesome. Also cooking cocoa butter

23:20

on my body, which also makes me warmer.

23:23

So right now I'm doing, did you, did

23:26

you shower today to bring it back from a previous episode?

23:29

Oh, I did shower. I have shower today. Well, I,

23:31

you know, the week that I told you about

23:33

me not showering was the week that I took

23:35

a week off from working out, but now I'm

23:37

back in the gym, clanging and banging, uh,

23:40

moving, moving heavyweights, uh,

23:42

picking them up and dropping them down, doing a lot of that. So

23:44

naturally I'm going back to many, you know, multiple showers,

23:47

uh, a day and well, at

23:49

least one shower. There

23:53

we go. There we go. That's healthy enough. Here

23:55

you go. It

23:56

is. It is. Boy,

24:00

I'm struggling.

24:05

We've been running on fumes for a minute. Do

24:08

you remember? Do you remember when

24:10

I forgot to get gas and we were in Texas and we were

24:12

almost triple A.

24:14

Yeah, I recall that somebody else saw

24:16

the story. I'm not good at telling stories. I'm

24:19

terrible. My memory is horrible. All right.

24:21

We didn't actually run out of gas.

24:25

Yeah. So it's written on the good news story. Yeah.

24:28

We were in the middle of Texas and not in a big town

24:30

in between towns. And it was just like, you

24:32

know, if you've ever driven through Texas, a lot of

24:34

times in between the larger towns, it's just

24:37

vast nothingness. It's just, you

24:39

can go for dozens of miles

24:41

and not really see much. So we were in that position. We

24:43

ran a gas. We didn't see much. And

24:46

the story I'm telling,

24:48

I'm, I'm bored. We

24:52

almost got a gas and then we didn't. Yeah,

24:54

we found a gas station and it was fine. Yeah.

24:59

In the moment though, thinking that we were going to run

25:01

out of gas, calling triple A, asking

25:03

them to come in, like, it was a mess. But yeah, it's

25:06

a scary feeling though to like, feel like you're going to run out of

25:08

gas, you know, and quite frankly, it's a little embarrassing

25:10

too. Because you should, you know what I mean? Like you

25:12

should, you should never run out of gas. There's

25:14

all these warnings and like, you know what I mean?

25:17

Indication lights, like you to run out of gas. It's

25:20

you have to be completely like not paying attention,

25:22

just not coherent. Like, how do you, who

25:24

runs out of gas in this day and age?

25:26

Have you ever run out of gas in your life? No.

25:28

I don't think I've heard it. Very, very close.

25:31

Very close. Actually. So

25:33

we went out to, we were in LA

25:35

last week and we went out to lunch with Mike and

25:37

Tanya. And so

25:40

we had driven from the

25:42

hotel or whatever and we were like on the cusp of running out

25:44

of gas, but we were also late. And

25:46

I was like, well, we're already late. So maybe we should fill up the

25:48

gas. My wife was like, no, let's, let's just

25:50

go. We can get the gas later. I said, well,

25:53

we, I don't know. We might, what if we run out of gas,

25:55

like in the middle of here, LA, I don't know. It's

25:57

just embarrassing. You know what I'm saying? Like, especially.

26:00

especially in a city too, like, you

26:02

know how many gas stations you probably passed? Especially

26:04

in LA, like, come on, man. Right.

26:08

This is embarrassing. And this, the

26:11

people, I don't wanna run

26:13

down your incredible wife, but

26:16

bless her heart, no offense, all that jazz.

26:19

But that mindset

26:22

is irksome to me because

26:24

I'm someone who, I don't like any debt.

26:27

I don't like anything over my head. As

26:29

many problems as I can figure out beforehand, I

26:32

would try to figure out just because I just

26:34

hate,

26:35

oh yeah, I think the problem is like those ideas

26:37

or the idea of running out of gas or

26:39

that I have to get gas is something that

26:41

will be pervasive for me for hours

26:44

until it's finally, until that issue is resolved.

26:47

So yeah, it's not for me, not my

26:49

cup of tea. It's kind of fun though,

26:52

living on the edge. Living on the edge. Whether

26:54

it was a Seinfeld episode, it's Kramer. Kramer

26:57

goes to a dealer and he decides

26:59

to test drive a car on behalf of

27:01

Jerry. And then at some point,

27:03

I can't remember exactly why, but at some point he decides

27:05

to just run it to see how, oh, I guess

27:08

he's just trying to test out the car's fuel economy. But

27:10

anyways, they end up making like a lap around the dealership

27:13

and they make it and they're excited. They say, oh, let's

27:15

try to do one more. And of course they couldn't do

27:18

one more lap. But anyways, the most of the episode,

27:20

you check in and out and you realize like, hey, they're having a lot

27:22

of fun pushing this to the limit. I kind

27:25

of see the appeal of it, you know, seeing how

27:27

far you can go. But then

27:29

when

27:29

it ends, you're just on the side of the road. Yeah.

27:31

No guess. What's the payoff?

27:33

Just the rush. The

27:36

fear of being stuck in the middle of nowhere. You

27:39

said it was a bad story, but that rush that

27:41

we had. That

27:43

rush for me is panic. It is good.

27:46

It's just rest. Yeah, that's not good. Great

27:48

gray hairs. That's how you get the gray hair. That's life. But

27:51

then you're trying to feel something. Okay.

27:54

I'm so numb. That's

28:02

me too. Just trying to feel something, you know? Yeah,

28:04

just something. Such is life.

28:07

Dion, Dion's something I'm blanking on his name. He's

28:09

hilarious. Dion Cole? He's talking

28:11

to his brother. Maybe Dion Cole.

28:14

Tall guy like in shape. Real funny. Black?

28:17

Yeah, you know. His

28:20

name is Dion. His name is Dion. Look,

28:22

I hear you. You ever met a white Dion? I

28:24

have not, but I want to say there

28:27

was some discussion about a white Dion before.

28:30

I don't believe it. No, I believe

28:32

when I see the papers. Sorry. I see the birth certificate.

28:35

Yeah. Yeah. If you're white, your name is Dion. Send us

28:37

a picture of yourself. Just thumbs up. Anyway,

28:39

so he's talking to his brother and he's like, oh, you know, you go

28:41

do this. I'll go to that. We'll meet back in an hour. And his brother replied,

28:44

slap. He said, what is that?

28:46

He said, sounds like a plan. And

28:51

then he said, don't steal it. Now I'm definitely stealing it. I

28:56

like that. I think I don't know if this is

28:59

an American thing, but I noticed when

29:01

I was a kid, my

29:03

parents would talk about the fact that in America,

29:05

everything is abbreviated.

29:07

And like what, you know, I guess I don't know if that's an American thing

29:09

or not. What else is abbreviated? We

29:12

just like to shorten everything for no, you know,

29:14

you can't say as soon as possible. That's

29:17

that difficult to say as soon as you got to say ASAP. You

29:19

know what I mean? Yeah. Do you mean shorten

29:22

as an acronym? So like shortened words because I'm thinking when you

29:24

said that I'm thinking like professor and we call like

29:26

prof, are

29:27

you thinking that? Are you thinking acronyms? Just I

29:29

think both

29:30

anything that shortens words.

29:33

Got you. We want to make it easier. Lazy.

29:36

This is what it is. Yeah. I've never listed silent

29:38

letters. Like why don't you just not have the letter

29:40

pterodactyl doesn't need a P in front of

29:42

it. Right. So like instead

29:45

of making up this idea that letters

29:47

can be silent. Why don't we just have the letters

29:50

not present? Just take them out.

29:52

Yeah, it's like I

29:54

feel so what was it? A possum,

29:56

right? It used to be spelled

29:58

opossum, right? change

30:00

it to just possum didn't they?

30:02

Did they? I think so. If you look

30:04

up in the dictionary and just look up possum

30:06

that's the animal now. Or maybe I don't know

30:08

if this is like a Mandela effect

30:10

thing but I always used to remember it as opossum

30:13

and then all of a sudden it was just possum. I

30:15

think people get confused when you say a possum

30:17

or an opossum it doesn't like sound right. Yeah

30:20

I've never I don't know

30:23

he's got it I can't check because I don't have the bandwidth my

30:25

zoom crashed if I search

30:27

something. I gotta do it.

30:30

I don't have the time with it. Yes

30:32

enough like my phone rang my phone rang and

30:34

I dropped the call. Like the whole zoom.

30:37

Oh boy no

30:40

no no. What you got

30:43

E? So I want to say that

30:45

possums and opossums are not the same thing.

30:48

There's a lot of reading in this and I'm trying to skim

30:50

through as quickly as possum I love butchering it. The

30:53

term possum refers to

30:55

a cousin of the opossum

30:57

that lives in Australia and New Guinea not

31:00

in North America. Two different things.

31:02

Look at that

31:03

who knew?

31:05

You learned something here.

31:06

That's crazy. For

31:08

people listening we're like I knew. Yeah

31:10

everybody knows that. A possum, possum

31:13

everybody knows. Yeah. Yeah I knew.

31:16

Actually I didn't know that either yeah. Don't lie. Yeah.

31:19

Why do they look so similar and have such

31:21

similar names as a stream using. Yeah.

31:24

Is it like a possum is an American

31:26

version and we did they just said oh it's the cousin because

31:28

we wanted to make the word shorter. I mean

31:30

in the spirit

31:33

of shortening things. That's

31:35

your cousin. We gonna drop it. Yeah yeah.

31:37

We gonna shorten this. That's

31:42

very possum.

31:47

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33:22

Alex, how about those gasps? What

33:25

is that? What is that? I love it. I love it.

33:27

You know, better

33:31

than when I got the boy is touched.

33:34

The boy is. I

33:39

won't subject you guys to a Dan

33:41

record voice for this. So I would just do it. Please,

33:43

please, though. Come on. You're in. That's what you want.

33:46

Cosplay. That's what I want. Put on

33:48

a ball cap, too. This

33:50

is from BP at the coaster

33:52

six to nine.

35:16

about

36:00

Japan, I want to talk about Japan though, you know, it's

36:03

a great place, man, as I'm sure you know.

36:05

And it's understandable

36:08

that you're terrified.

36:10

And I guess you

36:12

should be because

36:19

coming back to the US of

36:21

A. So just lay

36:23

roots in Japan, man, just so you can go back whatever

36:26

you want. I was really hoping that you guys

36:28

would have actual advice that could be fair

36:30

and contrarian, but it's very clear from

36:32

the beginning that we were all on the same page here. And

36:35

I want to echo those sentiments

36:37

as well as much good sir, as

36:39

I would love to give you good advice to get you

36:41

energized for this move. It doesn't even

36:43

sound like, you know, that you're weighing

36:46

the options between, Hey, should I stay

36:48

in Japan? Or should I go like you have to go to America,

36:51

but us, we're not trying to give

36:53

you advice. We're not trying to give you no,

36:55

that's not what we're here to do. And I'm

36:58

sorry. But that's,

37:00

that's our feelings. This is how it's our ruling. That's

37:02

how we feel. This is, we're just building ourselves, you

37:05

know, and we've, we've made a decision that

37:07

you must stay in Japan. And I'm

37:09

sorry, but I don't know if it's a job issue.

37:12

I can make some calls. I know

37:14

a few people, I don't know what you need us to do, but

37:16

you know what, actually, cite us your information, cite

37:19

it to Dan, email Dan, harass

37:21

Dan and whatever your

37:23

issue is that's making you come to America. We'll do our

37:25

best to keep you in Japan.

37:28

Right. Because you know, that's where we think, that's what we think

37:30

is best for you. We don't really know much about

37:32

your family or your history or your goals

37:35

or your life or your health

37:36

or really anything at all about you,

37:39

besides what you included in this message.

37:41

We know next to nothing about you, but

37:43

the three of us

37:45

who are professional wrestlers and

37:47

experts have decided that

37:50

we indeed know what's best for you and you're

37:52

staying in Japan. Sorry, sorry, man. I don't,

37:55

I don't really know how else to tell you this. I don't

37:57

know how to break it to you, but at least your fears,

37:59

you know, you're fear will be gone now because you don't have to worry about

38:01

coming back to the States. So yeah,

38:03

I'm sorry. That's what we really should do. We should

38:05

have gas ups and gas downs, but then

38:07

we should also have, you know, like divorce

38:10

court and all those other, you know, sure. It's actual judge

38:12

and whatnot, but they make, they get to make decisions

38:14

on people's lives to a degree. That's what I'd

38:16

like to do. And I'd like to, I'd like to have some

38:18

kind of a binding contract too, that you

38:20

signed as soon as you, as soon as you submit

38:22

your advice to us, you sign a contract

38:25

saying that you will indeed listen,

38:27

you will take heed, you will observe

38:31

by every letter of the law, everything

38:33

we say is gospel. That's what I want to do. I want

38:36

to control lives like a puppeteer. That's

38:38

what I want to do. I want to have a bunch of people

38:41

whose lives we can play with with no concern

38:43

for their fates or, or, or the

38:45

long run. That's what I just want to play with lives.

38:47

I want to play God on this, on this podcast.

38:51

I feel like this very much plays into your

38:53

dream of becoming a slumlord, but I feel like you

38:55

want to just control everyone's lives in

38:57

your, in your buildings. Right,

39:00

right. So yeah, it's very similar. And

39:02

you know, if you come to us,

39:04

we, we've taken over, we

39:06

have taken control of your life. I

39:08

won't say her name, but I have a friend, I have a friend

39:10

who told me, and she was dead serious.

39:13

She told me that she goes

39:15

online to find, I guess it was like a magic

39:18

eight ball app or a magic eight ball,

39:20

something online and it'll tell you,

39:22

you know, what a magic eight ball does. And

39:25

she will legitimately listen

39:27

to the advice of the eight ball. Like, Hey, should

39:29

I go to this shopping mall today? The

39:31

eight ball says, sure, go ahead.

39:34

Or, Hey, I want to buy this brand new dress

39:37

that costs $10,000. What should

39:39

I do? And she will listen. I cannot

39:41

fathom just pressing a button and

39:44

saying, Oh, this automated service is

39:46

going to make decisions for me. That's wild

39:48

to me. Okay. So that opens

39:50

up something to talk about because this

39:53

idea of,

39:54

of maybe

39:56

everything in our life is predetermined or something like that.

39:58

You feel like you don't actually make choices.

39:59

So like in giving up

40:02

that choice to an automated service, you're

40:04

playing with that. Well, is this automated service

40:06

going to stay along the path that is preordained

40:09

or is listening to this random

40:12

phrase generator going to alter

40:14

the path that was already laid out for me? It's

40:16

interesting when you break it down like that, I have a buddy

40:18

and I won't say his name either. He

40:21

lived an entire day rolling dice,

40:24

like as if he were a D&D character, but

40:26

he rolled for everything. Like he's like, hey, I have to

40:28

pee really bad. So he rolled the dice

40:31

to see if he would hit

40:33

his mark or miss.

40:35

So like if he doesn't roll high enough, he's peed

40:37

all over the seats and he's got to roll on how well

40:39

he cleans it up. He'd spend his whole 24 hours

40:41

like that. It's like, it's interesting. It

40:44

is. Honestly, it kind of like takes the

40:47

stress out of your

40:49

decision making, right? Like you

40:52

just press a button and you just do what

40:54

you're told, right? Like as opposed

40:56

to having to sit there and deliberate whether to do it or not.

41:00

So if it makes it easier, if we

41:02

were running out of gas and we hit the Magic 8 ball and

41:04

we said, do we keep going to try to find gas or do we

41:06

not? Then the 8 ball picks and maybe

41:09

we just sit down tight

41:11

or we keep going.

41:13

Stress is gone. I have a better idea.

41:15

For a small nominal

41:17

fee, if you contact

41:20

me directly, I can be your Magic 8

41:22

ball. In fact, actually, that's what I did with my friend is

41:24

she at one point, and I told her, because I was

41:26

being serious for a moment, like I can't have this

41:28

much control of your life. This is problematic for

41:31

you, just like whatever I say goes. So

41:33

she eventually like it, we're working on the balance.

41:35

But at one point I got Magic 8 ball

41:37

privileges to just make decisions. And I realized

41:40

I was getting high off the power. And

41:45

so logically my brain wanted to tell

41:48

her, like, no, this is not a good

41:50

idea. But there's also a sick

41:52

part of me who really just reveled

41:55

in this ability to control

41:57

a life. And I said, you know what? It's

41:59

funny. for a good story, but

42:01

you should take this away from me because this

42:03

is not a good idea. I don't, it's

42:05

intoxicating, honestly. I'll take it. But

42:19

it is a bit intoxicating because I'm not at all like, I'm

42:21

like live and let live. You do whatever you want.

42:23

I'm not at all into controlling people

42:26

or like, I don't get people who are very,

42:29

I guess I get where it comes from, but like being really

42:31

jealous in relationships and whatnot, it's unhealthy. And

42:33

I just like, you know, we're all, we all have our own lives,

42:35

we want to lead, whatnot. But there's something about someone

42:38

coming to you and saying, hey, I want you to

42:40

make decisions for me that I

42:42

never really thought about before.

42:44

But I realized I was, I was getting drunk off

42:46

that power. Is there like just

42:48

out of curiosity and you know, you don't have to go into it or

42:50

whatever, but like, why, why,

42:53

why does your friend do that? Like, are

42:55

you the only one that gives the power to her? Does she just like give

42:58

her power to anybody

43:00

for them to make decisions for her? Is there like a reason

43:02

behind like,

43:04

what is the motivation? Is it like, is it like, cause you

43:06

know, some people do that magic eight ball app as like a

43:08

joke. There's also like another, I

43:11

think it's like a, like I was listening to, maybe it might've

43:13

been the Rogan podcast, but like talking

43:15

about quantum physics and it tells you about the

43:17

different like results

43:21

of your decisions that you make. Like, you know, some, some

43:23

app that does the kind of, like kind of the same thing and there's a lot of

43:25

people who use it. So I know a lot of people do it

43:27

as like a joke, you know, just kind of

43:29

see and like have fun. But is

43:31

it something that like, you know, do they,

43:34

does your friend have a problem like making decisions

43:36

or is it like an anxiety thing and it takes away

43:38

the anxiety or like, or have you gotten

43:40

that far into the conversation? Uh,

43:43

that's a good question. She didn't really thoroughly answer. I think

43:45

she's just mostly indecisive about certain things

43:47

like, Hey, should I just simple

43:49

things like going out outside,

43:53

going to the mall, like going to the beach, simple

43:55

stuff like that. And I am very much

43:57

of a temperament. Like no one's going to tell me what to do with

43:59

my life. And it's probably one reason that I've been single

44:01

for so long is I hate the idea of checking in. I hate

44:04

the idea of ceding control of my

44:06

life to someone else. Like to me

44:08

that is, I guess I can understand how that

44:11

would alleviate some stress and some anxiety,

44:14

but someone having that much control over you is not

44:16

at all my thing. So I'm

44:19

very much into making decisions for myself and I guess I'm a bit

44:21

headstrong when it comes to that. So that's why I almost

44:24

mockter at first, almost ridiculed her because

44:27

the idea of it is so absurd to

44:29

me.

44:29

Yeah. I think for some people though,

44:31

that they're working in whatever

44:34

capacity they're working in and putting

44:36

their mind through X amount of stress. Like let's say

44:38

that if you're a CEO of

44:40

a company, whatever, for an example, like you're making decisions

44:42

all day that are very important, that are very stressful,

44:45

that are very time consuming. So once you

44:48

leave work, it's like, okay, I don't want to

44:50

have to do this. I want to turn my brain

44:52

off and just exist. I

44:55

think in some situations like that,

44:57

I've heard people use that as an example as to why

44:59

they kind of just give up and not give up,

45:02

but are not, I guess, empathetic to making

45:04

their own decision. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well,

45:06

that's why I've heard, I don't know how much of this is true

45:09

and how do I delicately put this, but I've heard a

45:11

lot of people who do really well on the stock

45:13

market or big movers

45:16

and shakers of the world. A lot of these people,

45:19

you know, they, again, I'm trying to

45:21

dance around this the best I can. I probably should have just, I

45:23

probably should not have gone down this way, but

45:25

I got into it. So some of these

45:28

people,

45:28

and maybe there, a lot of them might be men, some

45:31

of them

45:32

will pay another human

45:35

to, you know, make decisions for

45:38

them to, to, uh, you know, all

45:41

of us, I suppose, or

45:43

most of us as, uh,

45:45

as men, we have

45:48

a couple of things,

45:50

you know, that we utilize and some

45:52

people like, you know, these treasure things,

45:55

you know, and they're like, they're shaped like orbs, you know,

45:58

they're orb, they're orb like, you know, know,

46:00

we all, you know, we just were born with

46:02

them. Woods, I'm only

46:04

laughing because a lot of there's a lot of Woods

46:07

got very close to the camera here. And I'm just

46:09

curious because you are very clearly, you very clearly

46:11

made your point already. And now you're very

46:14

just continuing. I don't know if I was clear.

46:16

You didn't have to go. Okay, I was trying to paint

46:18

a picture to you while also

46:20

not, you know, getting fired. But

46:23

you were doing a poor job. My

46:28

point is there are people who like giving up control

46:31

and will spend a lot of money giving up control.

46:34

And we'll, you know, we'll have other

46:36

humans. I

46:39

can't control them. I have other humans. Yes.

46:42

Make decisions for them. Right. I

46:45

was born with these orbs and you

46:47

know, I do a lot

46:48

to protect their, their

46:50

intactness. I want my orbs to be intact.

46:52

Yes. Right. Right.

46:54

They're precious orbs. You know, it's like

46:56

it's just like the dragon balls, you know, right?

46:59

Same thing. You protect them. You protect

47:01

them. You won't let someone take them away and try to destroy

47:04

them, you know, or desecrate them in any way you

47:06

pretend that you can have them because you value

47:08

them. Right. Right. In

47:10

the anime sense, of course. Yes. Oh yeah.

47:12

Of course. It's obvious that's what you were talking

47:17

about. So obviously, right. Yes. Right. Yes. My word.

47:19

Look, all that. That's all I got

47:26

on my mind right now is, is Phil

47:28

Ormstone. Ormstone. All you

47:31

got on your mind? Well, I'm saying that these

47:33

are the one days I want to discuss. That's okay. That's

47:36

okay. Do you, do you, I know

47:38

when you know, one here will yuck your young.

47:41

If that's your young eat up. That's

47:43

not, I'm not saying that's not what I'm into. I just said it's what

47:45

I want to discuss right now. It's okay if you are though.

47:47

If you are, yeah. I bet that could

47:49

speak. I explained to you that I'm very much need to protect

47:52

minds. Not really for any like

47:54

child. I was going to think it was. I

47:56

just like, you know, what's yours is yours. You

47:58

know what? They produce test tops. And you know

48:01

still trying to know still trying to feel good Look

48:04

some weights and whatnot. That's that

48:06

is one thing that not I won't

48:08

say fear, but I do think about I'm 35

48:10

now You know when when does it just

48:12

shut off? When

48:14

does it shut off? When do when is it all go south

48:16

physically?

48:18

Yeah, I feel like it's not too far. That's a

48:20

scary thing. Yeah

48:22

Suppose it means supposed to be gradual isn't it? I

48:24

don't think it's just one day you wake up and then all

48:26

of a sudden You don't have your

48:29

your testosterone anymore. You just Gradual

48:32

decline allegedly

48:34

We'll

48:34

see medicine and stuff for that.

48:37

Yeah, and hopefully technology will we'll

48:40

get to a certain point where I can just replace them You

48:41

know when they're done with what I

48:44

want them to be golden and a glow

48:46

Wow through this skin.

48:48

Yeah, I think so

48:50

That'd be cool Good

48:53

when are they can you turn them on and off is

48:56

like a like a clapper? Yeah I like that. I think they

48:58

glow you know, like a like a computer

49:00

or whatnot I think they should glow when they're

49:02

also, you know, they're on and they're working and then

49:04

I feel like there should be an option You know to power them down

49:06

to okay. Yeah, I want mine to Work

49:10

like the clapper Silver's be like a strobe show. Oh

49:13

Snap, but then what happens when you know the

49:15

clapper now you make too much of a loud noise in

49:17

the house and the lights go off So you're at a concert

49:20

by yeah, you know I'm

49:22

saying when you hear that clap

49:25

sound on and off on and off. We're gonna

49:27

have a techno rave Let's

49:29

have a round of applause All

49:44

your friends are so embarrassed all the time you just loving

49:47

it Yeah The

49:50

guy from bit like a kid figures it out, you know, oh

49:55

You know, come on man be

49:57

careful wish for I

49:59

Kofi, I enjoy you because you have the most wholesome

50:02

examples. I

50:06

appreciate you. Hey,

50:10

you know, you got that stuff you don't think about the everyday

50:12

life. You know, that's what you don't think about

50:15

before you make this decision before you put this out to the universe.

50:18

And then it comes to you and then you might realize that

50:20

you didn't want it because of the everyday experience. So

50:23

would you so I know we're finishing

50:26

up last thing. If that happened,

50:28

would you would you tell us? You're

50:31

talking to me.

50:32

Both of you. Like, would you tell the other

50:34

two? I would tell you that. I

50:37

tell you, we don't really believe secrets. You know, it's

50:39

an interesting thing to talk about. You'll

50:41

find out one way or another at some point

50:43

when you get a bit of height in it like like,

50:48

like, yeah,

50:51

tinted underwear. So the distance. Yeah.

50:55

How do you always wear five layers of drawers

50:57

wearing five drawers? You have five

50:59

tags hanging out the back. Yeah.

51:03

One day you just started wearing five. Yeah. It's

51:06

not just a swampy, but it's worth it. It's worth

51:08

it. You don't even know. I

51:12

mean, surely there's got to be a there. There

51:15

has to be a non light

51:17

show option as well. If you're not into

51:19

that kind of thing. No.

51:22

You think it's only light show only light show. There's

51:24

no point otherwise or go on the dark. One of

51:26

the two glow on the dark. Wow. It's

51:29

like this aspect animals where he's pushed squished

51:31

their hand and said something. Yeah.

51:36

What would you say? Oh.

51:45

Yours. Yours wouldn't say everything

51:47

from a Zoom call. Yeah. E

51:51

E. Yours would go. Okay.

51:58

Thank you all for listening. Make

52:00

sure to click the picture of three black ass faces. Like,

52:04

subscribe.

52:06

All

52:09

that dress. You

52:13

can go to WWE Shop for the podcast

52:15

shirt. What's

52:17

laser wolf? Hey

52:20

guys, are you

52:21

doing all right? We

52:24

want to thank

52:26

you all. Oh my God. This

52:40

is far worse than anything I've said about

52:42

Dan. In

52:45

my opinion, this is far worse than anything I've said about

52:47

Dan. This whole podcast. The

52:51

amount of brass you and I have gotten.

52:54

I try to do a good deed. Let me never do a good

52:56

deed again. Oh my God.

52:59

Here. No

53:01

more good. Don't

53:10

worry about that. I hope you know the

53:12

world is going to be a worse place because of your constant

53:14

harassment. I'm done with

53:17

it. Oh

53:19

God.

53:22

Oh

53:37

my God.

53:38

That's what I needed. I'm fatigued. I'm

53:41

crying. My chest is hurting. Just

53:44

terrible, terrible people. You

53:51

tell us that if that happened. First

53:54

of all, that would never happen. Oh, come on. Yeah.

53:57

Why would I make that choice?

53:59

It'd be great. Great April fools or

54:02

something, you know? No,

54:04

no, no, thanks. Maybe while you're sitting on the table,

54:06

we'll slide the doctor of 50.

54:08

Hey,

54:11

can you put this in this? You got a voice box.

54:14

Yeah. Can you record this now? First

54:20

of all, don't worry about it. Just slide that in. Just put it

54:22

in. Just put it in. Here's 20

54:24

bucks to a doctor who makes millions.

54:27

Do an orb surgery.

54:30

He's just huffing in his

54:32

body. So

54:35

you can get in here. This is the sterile environment. The

54:38

orb surgery is my idea in the first place.

54:41

And for you to take something beautiful and wholesome

54:45

and just destroy it and

54:48

to sully it with your foul

54:50

filth is

54:52

really just reprehensible. No, no, we're

54:55

doing the thing. You're giving me control. I'm

54:58

making some decisions for you. One decision in

55:01

a lifetime. I would never do that. Never.

55:04

Never. Never. Never again. Again,

55:07

this is my idea.

55:12

How mad would you be? You went in for

55:14

the surgery and you came out. Oh

55:19

man, I can't wait. You glow in the dark. Oh, those

55:21

rippers got me again. Good one

55:23

guys. First

55:33

of all, if I have a testicle surgery,

55:36

I'll tell you after the fact. You

55:42

better believe we're going to be there in that

55:44

waiting room. You will know excited. We'll

55:46

know happy. Oh, we'll know. Walking walking

55:48

like you just rode a horse 40,000 miles to get to us. Hey

55:51

guys, what's up? Hey, how was it? Oh, it was great. It was great. They

55:54

put the lights in there and everything. It's cool. Oh,

55:56

anything else? No, there was nothing

55:58

else.

55:59

You sure, bud?

56:02

Go ahead and give him a little for you. What did you do?

56:06

What did you do? This has really gone

56:08

off the rails. I'm not even

56:10

sure how we got here. At all. Man,

56:14

that's good. That's

56:17

real

56:18

good. Is

56:23

it though?

56:23

Alright, thank you guys for listening to this. We appreciate

56:26

you. You can catch me on the Twitter

56:28

and Instagram at Austin Creed Winds. And you can check

56:30

me out on my YouTube channel UpUpDownDown. And

56:33

you can check me out on G4TV

56:36

because I'm a host over there, baby. Social platforms for

56:38

all things G4 is at G4TV everywhere.

56:41

For the YouTube channel socials are UpUpDownDown

56:43

without the O's. Thank you very much

56:45

for listening to today's episode. Go to uddshop.com

56:48

to get all your UpUpDownDown apparel.

56:51

We said that the podcast shirt was on there. It's not.

56:54

I

56:55

mean, someone said it wasn't, but I haven't

56:57

looked.

56:58

So you don't know. It's okay.

57:00

It's so cool. Yeah. Go to the UpUpDownDown website

57:02

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57:03

And if it's not there,

57:05

go to WWE Shop to get the podcast shirt. And

57:08

if you're listening to this on Apple podcast,

57:11

go and get that five star rating. Tell your friends

57:13

to listen to their podcast. Go to search bar

57:15

type in the New Day Cook The Pink, which was the three black athletes. That

57:18

is us. We appreciate you. Yeah.

57:20

And you can catch me on the Twitter and on the Instagram

57:23

at true Kofi. That's it. That's

57:25

it. That's

57:26

it, bro.

57:27

That's all you got. That's it, man. You

57:29

know,

57:30

just and my kids,

57:32

but y'all can't have those, you know, I'm saying

57:35

them belong to me. You can't have

57:37

my baby. So

57:40

that belongs to me. You

57:42

can have my Twitter handle, my Instagram

57:44

handle at true Kofi. That's all you get, bro.

57:49

That's it. That's

57:50

it.

57:50

That's it.

57:51

That was interesting. Yeah. Anyways,

57:54

I'm at WWE Biggie on Twitter

57:57

and on Instagram, but for what, you know, for

57:59

what? I

58:01

mean, do I have anything meaningful to contribute on those

58:04

platforms? Probably

58:06

not. You know, I peaked. Let's be

58:08

honest. I peaked when I had my knee surgery and

58:11

I was going crazy and tweeting about Becky's

58:13

mom and whatnot. But since then, I'm

58:15

just phoning it in, you know? That's

58:19

me. Yeah. No,

58:21

let's be honest. You know, I'm on autopilot in life right now. You're

58:23

doing very good work on your social media,

58:26

getting things out there that are very important. You're

58:29

doing the random skits and stuff because

58:31

you're out here teaching the youth, the children. Well,

58:36

yeah, that's very kind of you. I'm trying. Our

58:38

heroes rock on Twitter and on Instagram. That's worth

58:41

a follow. You know, we'll let you know how the project

58:43

is going and whatnot. Make sure to watch Laser Wolf. It's

58:45

an incredible show and whatnot. But as far as, you

58:47

know, my Twitter and

58:49

it's what's

58:51

the use? What is the use?

58:54

If y'all have a good reason for me

58:56

to start tweeting again or something, you know what I mean? Let

58:59

me know.

59:00

Hit me up. Let, you know, inform me. You

59:02

know, I guess Faye Jackson, you know, some from time

59:04

to time, she'll she'll slander me or

59:06

say something awful about me or something, you know, and

59:09

I'll kill it with kindness, you know, but

59:11

she just likes to be abrasive for no reason. We're supposed to

59:14

be wrapping the show, but that's why I choose to. Yeah.

59:17

She trying to get you to kill her. So

59:18

now, so yeah,

59:19

look, man, it's a PG program. You'd better clean it

59:21

up there, mister. Me. Yeah,

59:24

you. Yeah, you. You're always a fella.

59:26

You're always the problem. And they always tell

59:29

me that woods guy, you don't know how to keep a PG. And

59:31

I say, you know what? You know what? You're

59:33

right. What up,

59:36

what a potty mouth. And I say, you know what?

59:38

I lead the way. I lead the way in cleanliness.

59:40

I lead the way in just uprightness.

59:46

Right. He has, you know, terrible

59:56

attitude, terrible posture. Right.

59:59

Right. That's right. So I like to formally

1:00:01

apologize for Mr.

1:00:04

Woods and sometimes Cove too, cuz me right

1:00:06

here, me, I'm the one always trying to

1:00:08

keep it straight and narrow. Straight

1:00:11

and narrow. I don't

1:00:13

wanna see any curvature in the road that we're headed

1:00:16

on, brothers. And y'all gotta clean it up, y'all

1:00:18

gotta get right, y'all gotta act right. Get like

1:00:20

me. And that's it, man,

1:00:23

I'll do better next week, maybe, or maybe I won't. I don't

1:00:25

really know, we'll see. We'll see what

1:00:27

life has to offer. Yes.

1:00:30

Just close it out, Woods. Just

1:00:33

finish me, man. Get me out of here. I'm

1:00:35

done. Put up more. I'm

1:00:37

more straight and narrow. I'm done.

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