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1:30

The next chapter with Prim Siripipat is a production

1:32

of iHeartRadio. Hey,

1:34

everybody. It's Prim. Welcome

1:36

to the next chapter presented by Baron

1:38

Davis and Schlick Studios. So this

1:40

week, we continue transparent conversation

1:43

series, a nationwide multi

1:45

city, multi university series

1:48

addressing student athlete

1:50

mental health and well-being. I'm

1:52

not gonna lie. It has been an absolute

1:55

dream to host and moderate

1:57

all these different lie panels in different cities

1:59

with different athletes and guests on

2:02

different topics, but of course, centered around

2:04

something I truly care about,

2:06

which is student athlete, mental

2:08

health, and all of it is being powered

2:11

by LG Electronics USA.

2:13

So as I said last week, these

2:16

conversations were so moving and so

2:18

impactful. I thought it was really important that

2:20

we these discussions

2:22

right here on the next chapter. So all

2:24

of you could have the opportunity

2:27

to listen intake part in these

2:29

discussions. Now in the first

2:31

couple of episodes, we talked about the stressors

2:33

of the modern student athlete experience

2:36

earnings. And then we talked about the consequences

2:38

and the mental health implications

2:41

of those stressors.

2:42

Today, we're gonna talk about the role

2:45

of port systems on student athlete

2:47

mental health and well-being. So now we're

2:49

essentially expanding the conversation and

2:52

moving beyond the student athletes

2:54

and looking at

2:55

all the different people who play

2:57

a really

2:58

important role in the support,

3:01

the

3:01

development, and just the overall

3:03

well-being of student. athletes.

3:05

And this is an important piece because it shows

3:08

all of us can play

3:10

a role in helping someone.

3:13

So in this episode, You're gonna

3:15

hear from three different people. You're gonna

3:17

hear from Lee Keefer, a three time Olympian

3:19

in Gold Medal Spencer, also a

3:21

four time NCAA champion

3:23

in Notre Dame lums. She's a rock star.

3:25

You're also gonna hear from her mother

3:28

Theresa Kiefer who just so happens

3:30

to be a psychiatrist. And you're also

3:32

gonna hear for Lee's longtime coach,

3:34

Gia Verascalia, who was also

3:36

the head fencing coach at Lee's

3:38

Alimada, the

3:40

University of Notre Dame.

3:42

So

3:42

if you are a coach

3:45

or a sports parent, I

3:47

really do think this conversation is

3:50

for one you

3:51

should listen to. Hope you enjoy

3:53

it.

4:02

Very rock and roll. And then

4:05

thumbs up. Okay.

4:07

I think we're mine, everybody.

4:10

Hope the van, the LG

4:12

sensor conversations van, it will not

4:14

crash, and I don't think it's gonna crash in this ballpark,

4:16

but we're totally

4:17

fine. Well, allow

4:19

me to welcome everybody formally

4:21

to the LG transparent conversations,

4:24

multi city, multi university tour,

4:26

a mini series. addressing such

4:29

an important topic. Student athlete,

4:31

mental health, and well-being is all

4:33

being powered by LG Electronics.

4:35

USA. So today, we are in

4:37

Columbus, Ohio just outside

4:40

of lower dot com field and just outside

4:42

of Ohio State University.

4:45

There is some rain, mother

4:47

nature giving us a little bit of a hard

4:50

time, but considering the

4:52

accolades and accomplishments and the

4:54

background of our panelists today. Obviously,

4:56

nothing is going to stop us. For

4:58

those that don't know, my name is Prims Rippepet.

5:00

I will be serving as your host and moderator

5:02

for today's amazing event.

5:05

And

5:06

as a former student athlete and tennis

5:08

player, a longtime sports broadcaster, and

5:11

now a PhD counseling psychology is doing

5:13

at Fortum University, just

5:15

an honor to be here

5:17

with all of you. I'm so excited for today's

5:20

discussion. I can hardly wait to just dive

5:22

into this topic. I have a feeling I'm I'm

5:24

gonna learn a lot today. So

5:26

just

5:26

to give everybody a little bit of a backdrop, we

5:28

started off this LG transparent conversation

5:30

series talking about first, the stressors

5:32

of the student athlete experience. And then

5:34

after that, we talked about the consequences of

5:36

the mental health implications of those

5:39

stressors. So today, We're gonna

5:41

expand the conversation and talk about the

5:43

role of support systems and

5:45

how the people around student athletes

5:47

really play such a big role in

5:49

not only their mental health, but their well-being

5:51

as well. So joining us for today,

5:53

but this important conversation, we have Lee

5:55

Keefer, the three time Olympian in

5:57

Gold Medal Fencer, four time

5:59

NCAA

5:59

champion, and Notre Dame

6:02

Alham. If I went through the

6:04

rest of your resume, we'd be sitting here for two

6:06

hours, and so we're not gonna do that working. I'm

6:08

gonna keep it short and simple. Lee, how

6:10

are you today? Thank you so much for joining us.

6:12

Oh, it's our pleasure to be here talking

6:14

to you. Yes. And

6:16

we also have your lovely mother,

6:18

Theresa Kiefer. who

6:21

is the mother of multiple

6:24

NciDOLA, conferencing Champions,

6:26

and who is also a psychiatrist. So

6:28

she's obviously gonna be able to offer so

6:30

much clinical insight in as well.

6:32

And Teresa, thank you so much for joining

6:34

us today. Thank you for having me. I know both

6:36

of you made it through the rain, so and you

6:38

powered through, it was only A34 hour

6:40

drive from Kentucky. Right?

6:42

Not too far. Yeah. And

6:45

last but certainly not least, we

6:47

have Gia I

6:50

think I I mailed that last name

6:53

coach Gia, who is zooming

6:55

in from Notre Dame. He

6:57

is the head fencing coach

6:59

for the fighting Irish. Yeah.

7:02

How are you today, sir?

7:03

Thank you so much. and

7:05

I'm such an honor to be with amazing

7:07

people I admire on the same same

7:10

same panel.

7:11

Well, let's get

7:13

this conversation started. So

7:15

really just the aim for today,

7:17

as I mentioned, you know, we're gonna talk about

7:19

all the important people and persons

7:22

surrounding the student athlete who have

7:24

really an integral role in shaping

7:26

their experiences, not only in college,

7:28

but obviously as a person to

7:30

and beyond that. And I

7:32

think this is really important because by

7:34

recognizing how we are all

7:36

involved in this student athlete experience,

7:39

We also now have the opportunity

7:41

to we realize that we can have the opportunity

7:44

to help student athletes

7:46

regardless of what happens. So it's all about

7:48

expanding this conversation. So let's sit at the

7:50

tone for everybody who's listening here.

7:53

Lee, it begins with you, the student athlete.

7:55

So if you could explain Obviously,

7:59

we know who your

7:59

mother is. But why why do you think

8:02

it's so important that she is

8:04

here with us today and a part of this

8:06

conversation?

8:08

Well, I guess my

8:10

major identity in life

8:12

is a fencer, and I feel

8:14

that without my mom and my dad

8:17

and my amazing coaches, I

8:19

would not have all of these amazing

8:22

opportunities and such

8:24

a beautiful and dynamic life

8:26

story so far.

8:28

Yeah. Wonderful. And so

8:30

and what about your relationship with

8:32

We were talking beforehand that you've known them for many

8:34

years. So explain to everybody just your dynamics

8:37

in terms of how long you've known them, but

8:39

also how long you two have been

8:41

working together as coach and athlete.

8:43

Kia,

8:43

what do you think? When how old was that

8:45

when we first met? I

8:48

would

8:48

say Lee was fifteen, fourteen,

8:50

fifteen when we actually formally

8:52

met.

8:52

Yeah. So Prim young and then

8:54

you don't start college until you're

8:57

eight teams. So we had a

8:59

relationship before then. But

9:01

then once I reached Notre Dame,

9:03

that's when we started working

9:05

together as coach, student,

9:08

mentor, friend, and

9:11

we're still working together even after

9:13

I graduated. And so

9:14

okay. So you two continue to work with

9:17

one another even as you

9:19

have graduated from Notre Dame. Yeah.

9:21

I was I was there last week getting

9:23

lessons, and GEA was just

9:25

kicking my butt. Yeah. I mean, you're working

9:28

really hard.

9:29

you're too kind.

9:31

As well he

9:33

should because he's your coach. And from what I

9:35

understand, your mom continues to kick your behind

9:37

as well. And as well she should because

9:39

she she is your mama. She's like her

9:41

job. And

9:44

Teresa, how about how long have

9:45

I I assume you all have known

9:48

Diaz since Lee

9:49

since GEA entered Lee's orbit.

9:52

And so what has that

9:55

relationship been like? We've

9:56

really appreciated GEA. We've known

9:59

him again since so,

10:00

again, since

10:02

she was fourteen fifteen

10:03

because in saying you usually

10:05

travel to national tournaments and

10:07

also international tournaments. So

10:09

that's how you often meet. And

10:11

also we have close friends that

10:13

are big Notre Dame fans, so we

10:15

met him through

10:16

them as well. So

10:19

he's been we

10:20

we were so pleased when she was going

10:22

to Notre Dame because we knew that

10:25

GEA

10:26

would take

10:27

care of her essentially. And he

10:29

was such a, you know, He's

10:31

been such a wonder continues to be

10:33

a wonderful mentor

10:36

for the whole family.

10:38

Yeah, I mean, now

10:40

that I'm really putting things together, I don't

10:43

I'm trying to think how often

10:45

it is that

10:47

a junior athlete goes

10:49

to college having an

10:51

already established relationship with

10:53

their coach. I don't I'm sure it

10:55

happens quite a bit. For me, you

10:57

know, going to Duke. I I did not

10:59

have that. And so

11:01

I had to really start from scratch.

11:04

So that actually must, from a

11:06

parent perspective, So that actually must have

11:08

really kind of settled your nerves

11:10

because it's it's really as if you're

11:12

handing off your child to the

11:14

university and whoever and really the

11:16

coach. Because the coach is really the person that's

11:18

going to be kind of assuming that

11:20

role as not only the athletic mentor,

11:23

but kind of a transitional parent

11:25

role in some ways. Yes. And

11:27

and GEA has it's

11:29

not just us that know him.

11:32

He's a very, very wonderful

11:34

reputation in the fencing community.

11:36

So It's not so much that

11:38

we're the only ones that knew him personally.

11:40

A lot of people knows

11:42

who he is. Mhmm. And

11:44

everybody knows how

11:47

how friendly and open

11:50

and sincere he is. So,

11:53

yes, it made it a lot easier because we

11:55

already trusted GEA even before for she

11:57

was at Notre Dame. Mhmm. And

12:00

Lee, did that play a role in your decision

12:02

to go to Notre Dame?

12:04

Yes. Gia

12:08

always he set up my

12:10

college visit I was

12:12

surrounded by the most lovely

12:14

humans, including himself. And

12:17

after meeting that community,

12:19

I was like, This is this is gonna be my home

12:21

for the next few years. And

12:24

how about you, Gia, you

12:26

know, when you were recruiting and

12:28

going through the process. I mean, aside

12:31

from Lee's athletic

12:32

achievements, what other aspects

12:34

did you feel were really

12:36

important about bringing hard to the program.

12:38

Because for you, from the perspective of a

12:40

coach, you're not just looking

12:42

at the individual

12:44

accolades, but you're really looking for somebody who

12:46

can who can make this team and

12:48

make this program better.

12:51

And you wanna make sure they fit within

12:53

the the university setting. So

12:55

what was it about Lee that made you feel

12:57

as though she was gonna be a great fit? And

13:00

that

13:00

the Fed, it's the right word

13:03

because it has to be a connection

13:05

and has to be

13:06

that word has to be a main

13:09

contributing factor when you recruit

13:11

someone. She

13:12

was thirteen fourteen coming up

13:15

being already a female, and I would see

13:17

her showing

13:18

up with her sister, the earliest in

13:20

the venue, and warm up. And we she

13:23

treated her they both treated

13:26

the refs, the coaches

13:28

interacting with the others. So

13:30

thirteen,

13:30

fourteen years old children already

13:33

was developed emotionally

13:35

and and and intellectually ahead

13:37

of her curve. Mhmm. So we

13:39

would not want to have that person. And

13:41

a person in the fencer has to be

13:44

separated. at the beginning, at the

13:46

most important having a right faith,

13:48

right human, right attitude,

13:50

right mindset is more

13:52

important sometimes at the right athlete

13:54

because you can always put the dimensions

13:56

into the athlete. But you cannot

13:58

change that person that greatly

13:59

when they are already you

14:01

know, eight forms in age

14:04

eighteen. So that was

14:06

my biggest. And I'm seeing the parents

14:08

and how much You

14:10

know, one of these competitions I

14:12

overheard Stephen

14:14

Lee's father

14:15

that Lee had lost about, and he

14:17

said, you know what? you make your own

14:20

destiny. It's your responsibility. And

14:22

no one

14:22

felt like that. I don't live unless But I

14:24

would probably do not like that. I don't

14:27

think, you know, really special person. The

14:29

same with with same theme

14:31

was with Axel. a

14:33

brother who followed

14:36

Lee to Notre Dame. So at the

14:38

foundation, the parents laid for

14:40

those kids, those are most,

14:42

you know, most appealing

14:43

to me rather than her

14:46

athletic potential, which we knew that it

14:48

was, you know, sky sky high.

14:51

But it's all together, but

14:53

her human nature won won

14:55

over me and the parents who raised

14:57

that amazing young lady. yeah,

14:58

that's so interesting to hear from a coaching perspective.

15:01

You're really you're not only recruiting

15:03

the player,

15:04

you're kind of recruiting the

15:06

familial background, and and

15:08

they're upbringing in their history and all the things

15:10

that come with it. But, you know, even

15:12

with somebody who is

15:15

a great fit for that university. And

15:17

it who was coming in with all the resources.

15:20

Let's be honest. Being a

15:22

student athlete in college

15:24

is a challenge because of all the things

15:26

that we had mentioned in the previous discussion

15:28

we talked about. The time demands

15:30

and the academic pressure and the

15:32

athletic pressure and depending on

15:34

which school you go to. Obviously,

15:36

there there's that sense of tradition and the

15:38

expectations. The list goes

15:40

on. So, you know, let's

15:42

let's kind of expand the conversation

15:44

now? Lee, I want to begin with you Prim

15:46

just this to an athlete perspective. Let's just

15:48

start brainstorming here and talk

15:50

listing out all the different people

15:52

that have an influence on your experience

15:54

as an athlete. So who are some of

15:56

the most important people do you think? in

15:58

terms of shaping your

15:59

time in college. So

16:02

obviously, parent

16:04

coach -- Mhmm. --

16:06

my significant other. I

16:08

went to school with, I was a huge

16:10

part of my experience, my

16:13

teammates, old and

16:15

new ones. your

16:16

teachers, the administration, everyone

16:19

has little bits

16:21

of influence from golden.

16:23

Yeah. And out of that list, so, you

16:26

know, you kinda mentioned the parents. And

16:28

it's you know what? And I put them the

16:30

parents down on this list because even

16:32

though

16:33

Most of these athletes, unless the

16:35

athlete goes to a commuter school, but let's say

16:37

for the most part of the the athlete

16:39

leaves the home is essentially

16:41

gonna be their first time, most likely

16:44

away from their

16:46

their their center and their nuclear

16:48

family. But the parents still

16:50

have an important role

16:52

even when they are away in college.

16:55

In Teresa, what was your

16:57

experience? with

16:58

Lee leaving home, but then

17:00

still in some ways kind of being

17:02

involved when she was in college? Or what did it feel like

17:05

for you? you

17:05

know, physically, she was away and she was

17:07

ready to explore, you know, the

17:09

bigger world. But we

17:12

I think as a family, we feel very connected

17:14

no matter where they are and

17:16

how long we've been physically apart.

17:19

We're very connected emotionally.

17:22

So we were excited for

17:24

her, but we're not the kind of

17:26

parents that

17:28

are really sad add that we we don't

17:30

have bodies in the house anymore

17:33

because really mentally we're still

17:35

very connected. you know. So you were having empty

17:37

nest party, basically. Yeah. As when

17:39

it goes out, you're like, yes, we're almost done.

17:41

We were fine with it because we really never

17:43

feel like our children

17:45

leave.

17:46

Yeah. You

17:47

know, they're they're just out in

17:49

the world physically not at home, but

17:51

we never we always

17:53

feel very connected. So you

17:56

guys came to a lot of our

17:58

competition still, and then

17:59

FaceTime was more of a thing. So

18:02

I think the

18:04

time made it a lot easier

18:06

for us to stay connected.

18:08

Because your parents or your family were coming

18:10

to visit you, And how often would you make

18:12

the trip to Notre Dame? A few

18:14

times a year. We would usually

18:17

go to a football game

18:19

and we would spend the weekend together. We

18:21

would go to a couple of fencing

18:24

tournaments. Sometimes we'll even we've traveled to

18:26

New York for a tournament. and

18:28

we've traveled. Also, we've met

18:32

in international tournaments. So

18:34

we would see still see each other. So it wasn't now it

18:37

was never too too

18:39

long when we wouldn't see each other.

18:41

Okay. And maybe and I'm just I'm

18:43

asking these questions because it's important,

18:46

because I'm sure there's a lot of parents.

18:48

Excuse me. And

18:49

a lot

18:50

of student athletes, who

18:52

are listening to this. And, you know, these

18:54

are little pieces in in

18:56

tidbits for maybe families.

18:59

to

18:59

kind of take in about how to really continue

19:02

to maintain that relationship. But of course, not

19:04

everybody can, let's say, afford to

19:06

go and see there can multiple times. So how

19:08

many times would you say you would

19:10

talk to Lee over the

19:12

course of a month or a year or

19:14

a week?

19:15

Definitely a few times. And

19:18

a few times a week. a week.

19:21

Okay. And sometimes it's not even

19:23

a deep conversation. it's

19:25

just superficial. How are you doing? Or

19:27

Okay. Do you need this? You know, can

19:30

you get this? Or just nuts

19:32

and bolts sort of conversation. It wasn't

19:34

always a deep conversation. Mhmm.

19:36

Mhmm. And what did

19:38

that feel like for you, Lee?

19:40

to

19:40

continue to because I'm sure sometimes

19:43

when you go off to college, you're like,

19:45

whoa, freedom and you're

19:47

ready to rock and roll. Right? But

19:49

knowing, sometimes just

19:51

knowing your parents are

19:53

there, even if you don't reach out or don't

19:55

talk to them, it is kind of a nice

19:57

security blanket. Yeah.

19:59

I think they

19:59

had a great balance

20:02

of giving me my

20:04

independence, but

20:06

also, yeah, I was having a bad day or

20:08

crying. They would be the first

20:10

people I would call, and they were always

20:12

accessible to me. So

20:14

I never question

20:16

that they weren't in my corner. Mhmm.

20:18

And, yeah,

20:19

I'm gonna I wanna bring you into this

20:22

conversation. But but before I do,

20:24

Lee, when you're looking when you're when we're

20:26

looking at this list, parents,

20:28

coaches, assistant coaches. Of course, we

20:30

have the athletic staff. Right?

20:32

doctors, physical therapists,

20:35

trainers, academic advisors,

20:37

professors. You also talked

20:39

about your teammates, peers, We

20:41

also have social media. You know, I kind of

20:43

put that in in a support system even

20:45

though that can kind of be the thing

20:47

that breaks. It could be a

20:49

negative or positive. thing. But it's it

20:52

has to be in this ecosystem because it's

20:54

a huge component. Whether or not it

20:56

it's net positive or net

20:59

negative experience. That's a totally different

21:01

conversation. But when I

21:03

when I list all of these people,

21:05

who do you think is the most important

21:07

person when you're in college from a

21:10

student athlete perspective.

21:13

I

21:14

think it depends on the

21:17

person.

21:17

For me, I relied mostly

21:19

on my significant other at

21:21

the time -- Okay. -- started dating.

21:24

And

21:24

we can talk more

21:25

about this later, but he

21:27

is very

21:28

connected to GEA. So a

21:31

lot of my struggles were, like, routed

21:33

through him to Gia, to my

21:35

parents. So it was a very connected

21:37

web. Explain that again. Okay. Well,

21:39

first of all, explain who your boyfriend is or

21:41

sorry. Not your boyfriend. Your husband now.

21:43

So everybody knows. Yes. Sorry. Backtrack.

21:47

I have been athletes is the reason we're

21:49

drawn to each other, but he

21:52

was my rock from the beginning of

21:54

college. And because of his

21:56

relationship with Gia, and

21:58

my parents and my friends, I

22:00

think that connection,

22:02

that large woven web,

22:04

gave me a really

22:06

strong

22:07

support system. Mhmm.

22:10

Mhmm. And so would you go

22:12

to your husband if you were having he

22:14

was like your go to if you had any sort of

22:16

issues? going

22:17

on, academically, athletically. Yeah. Whether

22:19

he wanted to hear it or not. Yeah.

22:23

And that's probably the reason why she didn't

22:26

need us. Uh-huh. Because he

22:28

was there.

22:29

Got it.

22:30

Yeah. That's really yeah. And

22:32

your situation is really unique because rarely

22:35

does anybody go in and athlete goes in

22:37

and they they have their their

22:39

spouse already there with them

22:42

and they're also in the sport and on

22:44

the team and know the coach.

22:46

And so you really, really had

22:48

that great, I don't know,

22:50

buffers the right were, but a

22:52

really good support system. So, yeah, I wanna

22:54

really bring you in. When you're

22:56

hearing Lee and Teresa talk about

22:58

their dynamic, what

23:00

is coming to the surface for you

23:02

from a head coaching perspective? I

23:04

have to

23:05

first validate what Lee

23:07

said that Derek probably was a cornerstone of this

23:10

success story. And I

23:11

would get the text message from Garrett,

23:14

and we were very close he

23:17

had been here already five years that

23:19

had recruited him, known

23:21

Garrett since he was maybe twelve

23:23

as well. have

23:24

a text message. She's having a really bad

23:26

day, just FYI. Yeah.

23:29

And I I learned literally when I would

23:31

get the text, when

23:33

she had a bad day or she didn't have a bad

23:35

day, way she walked,

23:36

the speed of the walk, the way turned,

23:39

I already knew then later

23:41

on. what day we were having based on

23:43

how she walked in, and that was

23:45

a huge heads up.

23:47

And then you then you cushion

23:49

somehow, some way, when you have this little

23:51

bit of warning signals that that way or this

23:54

way, it makes easy your for for

23:56

coach coach to navigate those

23:58

phases. And create

24:00

the atmosphere in a situation when

24:02

they they're protected and begin with.

24:05

So that

24:05

really helped. And the parents,

24:08

again, they were so amazing guy.

24:10

Again, the the the communication is everything.

24:12

I don't think we communicated about

24:15

how Lee

24:15

was doing more or less.

24:17

because

24:17

Garik was And when we

24:19

communicated, it usually was just

24:21

a pleasant and amazing developing

24:23

the relationships. But Gary

24:26

was the unique for, like we said,

24:28

for that situation, but Gary was

24:30

the the person who actually made everything happen

24:32

for

24:32

all of us.

24:34

So for the

24:37

majority of athletes who

24:39

may

24:39

not have the support system

24:42

that lead it and I can now

24:44

start to see why your husband, you're now a husband,

24:46

was an integral component. I wish

24:48

I kind of had a Gary because

24:50

it's like I I don't think

24:53

at

24:53

that time between eighteen to twenty two years

24:55

old. Not only did I

24:58

have

24:59

the confidence also didn't

25:02

have the comfort level to just go up to

25:04

my coach and say, hey, I'm

25:06

just having a bad day. because

25:08

I was always so worried. I was like, okay.

25:10

If I tell him I'm having a bad day,

25:12

is he going to think that I

25:15

am not deserving of my

25:17

scholarship. I know that's that's a very extreme

25:19

thought. But, excuse

25:21

me, you want to position yourself

25:23

in a way where You're like, okay. IIII

25:25

wanna earn my spot on this team. I wanna prove to

25:28

you that I I

25:30

deserve to be

25:32

a member on this team.

25:35

So, coach, you

25:37

know, for for the all the other

25:39

athletes that may not have

25:41

a Garik or maybe a strong

25:43

support system in their parents.

25:46

What are some of the things that you are

25:48

navigating as a coach? When

25:50

you don't habitats. And now

25:52

it's entirely up to you to

25:54

read those warning signs.

25:57

Like everything else, every

25:59

relationship takes time to develop. And a

26:02

trust is the most important

26:04

component of that. So as

26:06

a coach understanding that there's

26:08

so much stressors and so much

26:10

pressure riding on those kids.

26:13

They're

26:13

all amazing to come to

26:15

begin with, to get it to the great schools

26:17

like Notre Dame to the others, takes

26:19

incredible academic achievements and

26:22

athletic team. So those

26:24

are the type a's that come here,

26:26

and they want to succeed in

26:28

every single day what they do.

26:30

And the

26:30

controversy when they don't

26:33

comes to, you know, you know, little mini

26:35

tragedies here and there,

26:36

so to understanding and and

26:39

offering the full support. and

26:42

then

26:42

wish that

26:43

that support will be accepted,

26:46

and it will take less of a time to develop

26:48

that trust when we really share

26:51

the valuable information we need to

26:53

hear about. In

26:54

terms of the scholarships issuing we

26:57

are we are lucky that we sign every one

26:59

four years ahead, so they don't really have

27:01

to do anything but do their best.

27:04

is

27:04

never gonna be a issue that

27:06

if they don't perform up to their potential,

27:08

that somebody attempting will be taken away.

27:10

So we're lucky that our university

27:13

structures that way. But the

27:15

pressure athletes put on

27:17

themselves, it's far greater than anyone

27:19

could exert on them. So

27:22

in my opinion, in in my

27:24

recollection, in in my

27:27

experience, offering unconditional support

27:30

to them as a person. Mhmm. And

27:33

hopefully, that will be good enough for the conversation

27:35

to start moving

27:36

forward.

27:37

Excellent. What an awesome answer?

27:40

doesn't give himself enough credit

27:42

for, like, what a strong

27:44

communicator he is and how much effort he

27:46

puts in to build all these relationships.

27:49

Like, even visiting him last week, he's telling me

27:51

stories about kids calling him at, like,

27:53

four in the morning. Like, he is

27:56

always there for people. Like,

27:58

other student Yeah. He

27:59

doesn't just, like, do this for me or

28:02

for, you know, people he's known for decades.

28:04

Like, he builds this

28:06

with everyone and will

28:09

really cater to, like, their special

28:11

needs because I think with all

28:13

sports not just fencing, people

28:15

are coming different stages of life

28:17

or have different goals, like more emphasis

28:19

on academics or trying to make

28:21

the Olympics and, like, you have to understand

28:24

where this person is to be

28:26

able to offer them the support

28:28

they need and grace in

28:31

specific moments. Kia. You gotta build

28:33

yourself up a little bit more. You're

28:35

amazing. So maybe

28:37

that's why he's so good because of his

28:40

humility I mean, I think that's

28:42

a wonderful quality for a coach because the

28:44

moment your ego gets

28:46

bigger and the humility subsides

28:49

now or stop or stopping the

28:51

process of learning. I think

28:53

all

28:54

all excellent coaches

28:56

and the ones that continue to evolve and

28:58

grow because the sport is always changing,

29:01

culture is always changing, and they're able to

29:03

constantly be learning

29:05

and figuring out ways to

29:08

adjust their coaching strategies so

29:10

they can continue to help

29:12

student athletes. Teresa,

29:13

you're gonna say something. I

29:16

always feel that GEA

29:18

goes out of his way to take care

29:21

of are my

29:21

children, which is Axel and

29:24

Lee

29:24

and Garik. And I

29:26

always think we're special.

29:30

because the way he treats us

29:32

-- Mhmm. -- is so special, you

29:34

know. But he

29:36

clearly does this for

29:38

a lot of people, and I don't know how he

29:40

does it.

29:41

So,

29:42

yes, kudos to GEA

29:43

for sure. Well,

29:44

let's, you know, let's talk about that

29:47

because it's funny, Lee, and you're

29:49

right because every student

29:50

housing is gonna come in with

29:52

a entirely different experience. And when

29:54

you mentioned, Garrett was the most probably the

29:57

cornerstone and the most important part

29:59

about your ability

29:59

to navigate your college experience, I

30:02

can see why

30:03

My answer to that question would

30:06

have been the coach. I think the coach is probably

30:08

the most instrumental person when

30:10

you're looking at as do an athlete experience

30:12

because you they're gonna they

30:14

are

30:14

the person that that most likely

30:16

recruited you. They're the person that sets

30:18

the tone for your entire experience. They

30:20

set the tone the culture of the team, the culture of

30:22

the program, and they are

30:25

also going to be operating as not only

30:27

your role model, but you

30:29

know, hopefully, there's somebody that can exist as a a

30:31

mentor and maybe a parent at times like

30:33

you was doing with those calls at four

30:35

AM. I'm not even even gonna

30:39

ask you about the content of that

30:41

call. Though I am curious, I'm wondering if

30:43

somebody must have called you and be like, hey, can you pick it up from

30:45

the bar? Like, yeah, and stuff. but that's the size of my we

30:47

we don't wanna veer too much

30:49

off. But GEA, even just

30:51

being able to talk to you and this is

30:53

where I'm gonna rely on my my

30:57

clinical, my

30:57

still developing clinical

31:00

skills, but even just hearing you

31:02

talk, there

31:02

is just this like

31:04

war warmth

31:06

and sense of

31:08

comfort and safety that you

31:10

offer when you're talking to people. So

31:13

how do you build trust?

31:15

Can you just list

31:15

out some of those qualities?

31:18

And you

31:18

don't really have a lot of time. Like, four years is kind of a

31:20

long time, but you really do. When these students

31:22

come in, you have to develop that sense

31:25

of trust quickly so they can buy into what you

31:27

are saying and really begin to

31:29

kind of perform. So how do

31:31

you build that trust? What are some

31:33

steps? You

31:34

know,

31:36

the last weekend, we had this

31:38

incredible football game with lots of

31:40

alums came back. And

31:43

down it was it

31:44

was the most amazing

31:47

feeling

31:47

that their connection

31:49

with each other, their connection

31:52

to

31:52

to to me probably

31:54

my connection with them, and

31:56

it was based on unconditional

31:59

love. you

31:59

know, they had

32:02

graduated five, seven, ten years

32:04

prior to coming back

32:06

next week.

32:07

So I don't

32:09

believe anything but giving the

32:12

unconditional love and support to

32:15

everyone

32:15

comes here because they become

32:17

a part of the fabric

32:19

of this

32:20

family family. And

32:21

anything else could be could

32:23

be worked with? And

32:26

when they feel in that age,

32:28

when they feel of any age especially

32:30

when vulnerable, they come here with

32:33

academics that are pounding them. I was

32:35

talking to Stephen Lee's

32:38

dad after she went home in

32:40

January, you know, for the, like, December break.

32:42

And apparently, she slept for three

32:44

days. who who woke up, but he didn't

32:46

go back and was first and back with this

32:48

conversation.

32:48

He said, how was how was Lee at home? And he goes,

32:50

well, I didn't

32:51

see her for first three days. That's why she

32:54

slept. academically, they're

32:56

challenged every single day. An athletic

32:58

debate challenge, then they're the stressor of

33:00

the social life integrating into

33:02

the into the new environment.

33:05

So stress is all over. So

33:07

at least if we could mitigate that

33:09

and then offering them unconditional

33:11

who they are and

33:13

as a people, there'll

33:15

be a good start of the developing

33:18

relationship. Some people take it. and the

33:20

relationship happens, you know, develops quicker.

33:22

Some people never. Some people takes a

33:24

while. But if we keep trying

33:26

our hardest,

33:27

that's a good down payment for

33:30

their well-being here.

33:32

Yes. Thank you. You

33:34

know that unconditional

33:37

support. Also, what I'm hearing is

33:39

kind of an unconditional love,

33:42

you know. Obviously, it might

33:44

be different than the love between a parent

33:47

but it really is. It's about that

33:49

unconditional acceptance for that person.

33:51

And unconditional love

33:54

for

33:54

the athlete. And GEA, there's

33:56

a lot of coaches out there that

33:58

tried to

33:59

achieve that. but they aren't able

34:00

to execute it. So what goes

34:03

wrong in those

34:04

instances? And we all know

34:06

when that happens because

34:09

student athletes, they may

34:11

not be explicit

34:14

in saying it, giving that feedback directly to

34:16

the coach. but a student athlete will

34:18

always walk away from their experience. And

34:20

you will know, you will always

34:23

know for many, many, many years

34:25

after they graduate what their relationship was

34:27

like with their coach. Because behind

34:29

closed doors, even open

34:32

doors, athletes

34:33

will tell you, I

34:34

liked my coach. I got along with them. I did not like my coach.

34:36

And they

34:36

didn't give me the support

34:38

that I needed in college. So

34:41

Kia, what's what's

34:42

the difference of when somebody tries, when a coach tries

34:44

to offer that unconditional acceptance

34:47

and positive regard

34:48

didn't impact

34:49

and love. and

34:51

it doesn't it doesn't it it it executed. I never

34:54

I

34:54

don't know. In my

34:56

and I'll I'll talk about my experiences.

35:00

They're never certain athletes for me. They're never students.

35:02

They're never fencers. They're kids. They're

35:05

my kids. Mhmm. So

35:08

and I always tell them the beginning of the year during the

35:10

conversations we have, I will treat you like

35:12

I will treat my own at home.

35:16

And if

35:16

it's good enough, we can move on. At the end

35:18

of the day, sometimes discipline is the greatest

35:20

gift we can give them. But

35:23

most likely, we don't have to exercise

35:26

those because as I said, our kids are

35:28

Thai based and they're very successful what

35:30

they do. makes our lives

35:32

easier. We just have to channel that love

35:34

and and building the

35:37

trust with them. my greatest

35:40

achievement as a coach

35:42

probably is my relationships with

35:44

my students

35:45

when they graduate. because

35:47

while they're going through these struggles

35:49

and the trials and tribulation, they're hard

35:51

to see that. But when they when dust

35:53

settles, when everything really shows,

35:56

And when they came back, it's a

35:58

testament was, you know, we we just embraced each other.

35:59

Like like like, Teresa,

36:02

there's just no time. The time stopped

36:04

when you when you love someone. If you've seen them for a

36:06

while or if you talk to them often doesn't really matter

36:09

anymore.

36:09

So from the

36:11

coaches' perspective, it's You

36:14

keep trying every single day like you do to your children and hope that

36:16

it sticks and hope hope that it

36:19

will make a difference.

36:21

And also what I'm hearing from

36:23

you is I don't really see

36:25

them as students. I don't see them as athletes. I

36:27

just see them as my kids. So

36:29

you really see them as not only

36:31

human beings and people, but

36:34

obviously, you know, somebody,

36:36

one of one of your own

36:38

kids. And I think

36:40

that is the difficult balance

36:42

that coaches do have

36:44

because on one hand, This

36:46

is their job, and their job is oftentimes to

36:49

produce results, IE wins.

36:52

And sometimes

36:54

that,

36:55

including their job stability, can kind

36:57

of get in the way of the

36:59

relationships because they're trying to navigate

37:01

all those things. So

37:03

Lee, you know, and hearing what what Guy is

37:06

talking about, but also what I am talking

37:08

about, you know, when when

37:09

coaches are trying to

37:11

do that of, like, how do we get wins and results,

37:13

but also while really trying to take

37:15

care of the athlete. What do you what what

37:17

are some signs?

37:20

I'm really trying

37:20

to push the conversation so we can get really as

37:22

specific as possible so athletes

37:24

and parents and coaches

37:26

can really

37:27

walk away from conversation. I'm

37:29

like, okay. Here's some specific steps to try and achieve the things

37:31

that we're trying to

37:33

achieve.

37:36

Yeah. August

37:38

I had a very positive experience,

37:40

so I can't attest to

37:42

a lot of the challenges. I

37:47

do

37:48

feel like

37:49

though when you put

37:52

in a lot

37:53

of work, like, So

37:56

Garik was part of

37:58

Gia's, like, first class. Like,

37:59

if you have good

38:02

people create

38:03

create good

38:03

culture and that in

38:06

itself builds the trust over

38:08

time and

38:10

creates a

38:12

safe place and it kind of like builds on each other.

38:15

But yeah, I don't I

38:17

don't

38:17

no. I don't

38:18

feel comfortable. Like,

38:20

I just don't know speaking about, like, yeah, where coaches have

38:22

gone wrong because, like, I didn't experience that.

38:25

In okay. Let

38:27

me rephrase it. how what

38:30

does it what is a

38:32

right

38:32

sure culture,

38:34

positive, safe trusting culture?

38:36

look like? Like, what are some of the things that GEA did specifically?

38:38

You know, maybe it was something that

38:40

he said. Maybe it was a

38:43

look. Maybe it was you

38:46

know, reaching

38:46

out on the weekends. I don't

38:48

know. Is there anything specific that stands

38:51

out into your mind that

38:54

really helps you get through those tough moments.

38:56

A lot of

38:59

them, let's see, I

39:02

remember being at practice once, and

39:04

I guess I just looked like

39:06

crap. And Gia just, like, came up. It seems

39:08

like high. like, go home. Like, the fact,

39:10

like, I'm, like, with my team, I'm

39:12

trying to do the thing, but, like, I'm just

39:14

obviously in so much

39:16

distress like he

39:18

knew me and he cared enough to, like, be

39:20

like, you need to, like, sleep, you

39:22

need to take care of yourself. like,

39:25

he did things like that all the time for me

39:27

and for other people. And,

39:30

like, I take that for

39:32

granted. Like, as I live my life,

39:34

like, that's how I wanna

39:36

care for people too,

39:37

and I feel like

39:39

he kind of

39:40

showed

39:41

me that. Yeah.

39:44

Yeah.

39:44

You know, sometimes I

39:47

think it's really hard You know, college

39:49

is such a critical period.

39:51

Right? Eighteen to twenty two years old because that's

39:53

an in time when

39:56

We

39:57

are trying to find ourselves. And along the way,

39:59

during

39:59

this

39:59

period, we're always gonna lose a

40:01

bit of ourselves and trying

40:03

to find ourselves. And

40:06

during those moments of stress, sometimes it

40:08

could be so hard. As I

40:11

said, I didn't have the

40:13

courage to say, hey, I'm

40:16

not doing well because

40:18

as an athlete, you don't

40:20

have a choice. You have to you like,

40:22

if if you To achieve a certain

40:24

level, you have to power

40:26

through anything that's going

40:28

on to do well. Right? And

40:30

so some of those things can really sometimes get in

40:33

the way of our personal lives. Right?

40:35

When we're really struggling thing.

40:38

So what was it? You know, and just

40:40

seeing how emotional you got you're

40:42

getting even in a good way. Right? Because

40:44

that was obviously a very critical

40:46

moment or day or period. And

40:50

why why did you choose that

40:52

moment about and

40:55

and

40:55

the way Gia, just

40:57

even without saying anything, like, there wasn't

40:59

even a conversation, Sally. He just came up to

41:01

you and was

41:02

like, go home. Yeah. Just

41:04

someone being

41:06

so in tune with

41:09

your life is, like,

41:11

very important. Like, he was having

41:13

those conversations with, like,

41:16

my my circle of

41:18

people. He

41:20

was taking the time to, like, observe my

41:23

behaviors. He knows, like,

41:25

I care about not only

41:27

fencing, but school. So

41:30

Yeah. It just goes back to the effort to

41:32

get to know people to treat them like their

41:35

family. Mhmm. Yeah.

41:38

And what year was this? How old were you, if you don't mind me asking? What do you think?

41:41

Was I a freshman or did this happen

41:43

a lot of times?

41:46

well.

41:48

Yeah. That's probably was

41:50

the most

41:50

one of the most challenging

41:54

times, as a as a coach

41:56

too, because you

41:57

have this brilliant athlete. Why observe I'm

41:59

observing

41:59

in the in the August. She's

42:02

competing in

42:04

December Olympics. and she has

42:06

to enter the university right after closing ceremony.

42:08

And who has almost burned

42:12

out I mean, achieving the Olympics, it's the one thing and

42:14

competing in that age. It's

42:16

unbelievably hard for psychology

42:18

of the athlete, probably. And

42:21

then she has to enter to the

42:24

premed route to the University of

42:26

Notre Dame. It's one of

42:28

the toughest. and

42:28

I see this kid in the first competition goes to we go

42:31

and he had she had won, like, a

42:33

ninth straight competitions in US

42:35

prior to that. and

42:37

she's struggling. I mean, she didn't make

42:39

top four,

42:40

first time. And she

42:42

turns it around and goes, and

42:45

she's breaking down at

42:45

the tournament. It was I think it was

42:47

Columbus, Ohio, actually. And Virginia Beach.

42:50

And she goes, I'm

42:52

not heavy front via,

42:54

I'm not enjoying this

42:56

anymore. That

42:57

was the worst thing

42:59

you can hear.

43:00

as a coach. I said, wow, what do we do? So we

43:02

came back and I called I talked

43:04

to Lisa, the original coach

43:06

who's the same the current coach who

43:09

an amazing specialist in human being. And

43:11

I said, I think we

43:14

should cut off the a lot of

43:16

tournaments here. Cut off the

43:18

old Knicks. national tournaments. She needs the time to take a break. She

43:20

needs to decompress.

43:22

Ali is being stubborn.

43:24

being governed to

43:27

the

43:27

core, to the next level,

43:29

it was a lot harder than,

43:31

for example, Garik. When Garik came

43:33

in the same situation as a freshman, we played

43:35

ping pong for, like, first two

43:38

months is being

43:42

stubborn

43:42

to the core, to the the next level. It was

43:44

a lot harder then, for example,

43:46

Garik, when Garik came in the same

43:48

situation as a freshman, we played ping

43:50

pong for, like, a first two months. We

43:52

scheduled the basketball during his lesson times or,

43:54

like, ping pong. With leash, you would say

43:56

no. So it had to be really to

43:59

somehow,

43:59

some way, navigate this,

44:02

not to push her

44:04

to train or be away from it.

44:06

It was it was a juggling

44:08

act, but we we succeeded together, and she

44:10

was receptive to take

44:12

a time up occasionally. And

44:15

then knowing that her place was

44:17

safe and their teammates were still appreciative.

44:20

But I could

44:22

see how how

44:24

stressful she was. And if we did not make

44:26

those efforts, we probably could

44:28

have lost her for more than, like, six months

44:30

or a year. Maybe she could have been

44:33

done after, you know, with the fencing. So

44:36

and it's probably focusing on

44:38

individual characters

44:40

and traits. with what what makes them great or what

44:42

what how can we do to navigate

44:44

those, you know, get those waters.

44:46

But I'm not

44:48

I not the psychologist. I'm not the psychiatrist. I'm on the offensive coach.

44:50

So and if, again, if not

44:52

Gary, we probably would have been here

44:56

with the lifting gold medal and her

44:58

love. I don't think it still still

45:00

immense.

45:01

Well, GEA, you're yes,

45:04

you're not a psychologist or a therapist.

45:06

But this is why we're having this

45:08

conversation because oftentimes coaches

45:10

end up being the therapist for student

45:13

athletes because you are

45:15

their direct line and

45:18

their person

45:20

and you were

45:21

the person that's really seeing

45:23

them every single

45:24

day. Now, of course, peers and

45:26

your teammates are going to be really important.

45:30

I don't necessarily from I I maybe this is wrong

45:32

from my end, but I don't put the onus

45:35

on them to

45:36

to try to lift you up. Of

45:38

course, that's a part of their responsibility.

45:41

And I think from a

45:43

Prim a moral and ethical effective. I hope

45:45

that student athletes are doing that for each other. But they are also

45:47

eighteen to twenty two years old, and they are going

45:49

through their own stuff. So I'm not going to

45:51

expect my teammates to

45:54

know what to do if they see me falling off

45:56

track in all of these warning signs.

45:58

So twenty twelve, how old

45:59

were you? What year were you at

46:02

this point? Yeah.

46:03

So eighteen years

46:06

old. Okay.

46:06

Oh, wow. So this is

46:08

your freshman year. Mhmm. Gotcha. Freshman

46:11

year. Oh my gosh. I know. I I

46:13

don't that's why she still

46:15

cries when she thinks about it. Oh my

46:17

gosh. She talks about it from QTS

46:19

see there. I was like, ugh.

46:22

Yeah. So and what

46:24

now that you've had some time because it's been

46:26

about what ten years now since you're a freshman

46:28

year. And when I

46:30

think back to my freshman year,

46:32

like, my

46:32

I get a pit in my stomach.

46:35

It is because it's so hard. I

46:37

don't even have the words to describe how hard it is.

46:39

You know, I felt homesick.

46:41

I'm, you know, I'm

46:44

in the environment, new campus, new school, new

46:46

professors, school's so hard.

46:48

It's so hard. I'm like, oh, man,

46:50

I I don't even I I

46:52

had b minus one class because I wouldn't participate. I was so afraid I was gonna say

46:54

something stupid. I told a professor I'm like, I can't

46:56

talk. I I'm gonna say something stupid.

47:00

Like, I'm I'm the dumbest person in this classroom right now. So I

47:02

really get it. So when you look back to your

47:04

freshman year, what was it about that

47:07

particular period? that

47:09

was really just overwhelming

47:11

for you to the point where it

47:13

was causing you potentially to

47:15

burn out. Yeah. I know this about

47:17

myself now. I am terrible

47:19

at adjustments. I'm terrible

47:21

at transitions from like high

47:23

school to college. college

47:26

to med school. Even when I was

47:28

thinking about retiring, dispensing, terrible,

47:32

just not

47:34

good. symptoms like

47:36

anxiety getting there into the

47:38

depression mode. But I do wanna mention

47:40

because I think it's kind of important is

47:43

when I was a

47:44

freshman,

47:45

And, you know, after, you

47:48

know, like, we got over a little bit the hump,

47:50

it still is, like, super hard. I

47:52

mean, I'm crushing it. Yeah. I'm winning a

47:54

lot of stuff still. And we had a sports psychologist

47:56

on the team and

47:58

because I'm winning

47:59

everything

48:00

even though I'm like showing

48:03

signs of, like, anxiety. They're, like, just, like,

48:06

keep doing what you're doing. And I was,

48:08

like, but

48:10

it's terrible. I was like, but

48:12

I'm not enjoying it.

48:14

Yeah. And that was hard for

48:16

me because I feel like at that

48:19

point, I I wish someone had told

48:21

me of, like, services or,

48:24

like, maybe

48:26

professional support. because, yeah,

48:28

like, GEA is not a psychologist, there's

48:30

a psychiatrist, and I don't expect him to

48:32

be. So just, like, from a professional

48:34

mental health standpoint. I wish that

48:38

was more prominent

48:40

at that time in my life.

48:44

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And that's why this is

48:46

why these conversations are so important.

48:48

Even for me, as a doctoral

48:50

student, I have really had to educate

48:52

myself of like, Okay? Well, a

48:54

sports psychologist. Well, somebody a

48:56

psychologist working with athletes. Well, there are

48:58

sports psychologists. Right? No. That's not the case.

49:01

sports psychologists oftentimes work on just just

49:03

the performance aspect, working with

49:06

athletes with regards to what they do on

49:08

the court on field. some of the stuff is

49:10

off the court, but really if we're starting

49:12

to have any sort

49:14

of

49:14

other sort of

49:16

issues, mental

49:17

health issues, and I I wanna use the

49:19

word mental health carefully because a lot of times when

49:21

people think of mental health,

49:24

they immediately think depression, anxiety, dysfunction. And that's not

49:26

necessarily the case. But

49:28

with regards to using those

49:31

counseling services, you're right, like having a therapist

49:33

or a psychiatrist from if we're looking

49:35

for medication, having a psychologist

49:38

so they can really help

49:40

us navigate those personal things and all the

49:42

things that are going on off the court or

49:44

field and, you know, which is

49:46

why it's

49:46

really driving me to go back to

49:50

I found through my own struggles, what happens in our

49:52

personal lives affects what we do on the

49:54

court or field

49:55

and vice versa.

49:57

So Teresa, Did you

49:59

have, you know, watching

49:59

Lee kind of get him really get

50:02

emotional talking about that freshman year and also

50:04

Gia stepping

50:06

in Did you know all of

50:07

this was going on? I

50:11

didn't

50:13

know how. how

50:16

how

50:16

much she struggled because

50:19

I wasn't there, you know.

50:21

At this end, because she

50:23

had good results. Right? And so I

50:25

think a lot of times like either GEA

50:28

or Garrett probably

50:32

got her through a lot of these things. And but

50:34

one of the things we have to remember

50:36

is she did get through that freshman year

50:40

She continued to develop and grow,

50:42

and it's an ongoing

50:44

process, continuing to much for

50:47

and learn skills on how

50:50

to manage your mental

50:52

health. You know, so I

50:54

think that was a very difficult

50:56

period that she got through. Thank goodness

50:58

because probably there's a lot of

51:00

kids

51:00

that end up

51:04

not

51:04

doing so well. You know, whether they end up

51:07

just partying too

51:10

much and not doing so

51:12

well in school, you know,

51:14

those are the kids. All it takes is one or two

51:16

out of your team who

51:17

don't do very well, you

51:20

know.

51:20

That's

51:23

you can't

51:24

forget those

51:26

those casualties.

51:28

Mhmm.

51:28

You know? So, you know,

51:30

it's

51:31

it's an ongoing process Of course, when I

51:33

watch her and she cries, I always cry too.

51:34

I mean, she I mean,

51:35

she I mean, she did cry. And so

51:37

I get The good news

51:39

about Lee is

51:42

that she does not

51:43

hide her feelings very

51:46

well. And

51:48

so GEA will be able

51:50

to see that she needed to go home.

51:52

The big difference was that

51:54

he actually told her to

51:55

go home. Right? where

51:56

some coaches will say, just suck it up

51:59

and keep on working.

51:59

Yeah. So,

52:01

I mean, really

52:02

injustice

52:05

dynamic. And I appreciate all of

52:08

you, Lee, and Teresa, and Gia,

52:10

all really opening up and

52:12

sharing your story and for you, Lee,

52:14

being so vulnerable because

52:15

my goodness, I it happens to

52:18

every single athlete.

52:20

And just

52:21

highlighting this moment,

52:24

you know,

52:24

even with the most supportive,

52:27

in touch, and

52:30

connected parents, Of course, they're not gonna know everything that's going

52:32

on because they're not there. My parents had

52:34

no idea, and I'm super close with them

52:36

too.

52:37

But they aren't there. And so

52:39

I think, you

52:40

know, just highlighting even

52:43

your experience of having

52:45

an extremely well built

52:48

in support

52:49

system. How things

52:50

can just kind of fall through the cracks?

52:52

And so I think this is a

52:54

lesson

52:55

for all the parents listening out

52:57

there, that even when you were

52:59

talking to your kid, And

53:01

even when you were dialed in, you're not gonna

53:04

you'll never be fully dialed in

53:06

because you're just not there. You're not

53:08

there. And even if they were living at home.

53:10

Right? There's always things that

53:12

are gonna happen where we're

53:15

just missing the signs. you know.

53:17

And for me as a mother of of two, you know,

53:20

that's a really scary thing. I'm

53:22

always like

53:24

I'm trying not

53:24

to be overly sensitive, but I'm

53:27

always just like

53:28

aware that

53:29

there are always signs. And

53:31

I don't want to miss the signs. That's like one of

53:33

my biggest fears.

53:35

GEA, I

53:38

apologize

53:38

for my cough. The LG transparent

53:40

conversations series is so overwhelming

53:42

that I kind of cold, but this is what

53:44

I do as an athlete we just power through. Gia, how much

53:47

more time do we have with you?

53:48

another forty five minutes. I'm I'm okay with that. Oh my

53:50

gosh. Okay. Well, I'm gonna keep you for

53:52

another

53:53

forty five minutes. Fantastic. So

53:57

when we're talking about the

54:00

signs, can you do

54:01

you When you reflect back

54:02

to Lee's freshman year, and

54:05

you were noticing some of the signs other

54:07

than the obvious, I'm not having fun

54:09

anymore. But what other things did you

54:11

notice were just kind of change of behavior. And

54:13

I pose that question. That's a very important

54:16

one. For other coaches

54:18

and staff members and

54:20

administrators, and even for

54:22

teammates secure, okay, what

54:24

are some signs when someone's not someone

54:26

just seems off or they're not doing

54:29

well

54:29

or they're struggling. A great

54:31

question. I have a few few of my

54:34

hypotheses here. First of all, you

54:36

know, some some difficulties

54:38

and some resistance

54:40

to to to the hardship, whatever

54:42

it is, and the stress, I think

54:44

it's like Teresa said, it's it's

54:47

a gives grounds to growth

54:49

and development and the strength they're gonna

54:52

they will need down

54:54

the road.

54:54

and we want them to probably as a coach is to see that they're

54:56

resisting that stress because

54:58

going to the operating room,

55:01

That's what she does. She's amazing on the fencing

55:03

strip. She does, well, you know, and then she

55:05

I I stress tolerance is so

55:07

high. And the college probably and

55:09

those difficulties

55:10

were contributed after who

55:12

she is today. As of

55:14

when she got through her freshman

55:17

year, then it was

55:19

a vertical ascent. to everything she did.

55:22

And just remember the small Prim and

55:24

pieces, the lessons were

55:27

became a joy. between us interactions on the – while

55:29

we're working professionally rather than being

55:32

mandatory in the

55:34

first year. but

55:35

I was always paying attention to

55:36

her family dynamics and to

55:39

usually only statistics I could

55:41

keep as a college coach. We

55:43

had about

55:44

seven kids who dropped

55:46

out of the program in

55:48

sixteen years are being a

55:51

part of it. that all of them had a broken heart.

55:53

It's how unfortunate is that.

55:56

Knowing that her family bond

55:57

was so strong and never had a

55:59

doubt that she

55:59

will succeed. She's

56:02

so close to her parents, so close to the siblings,

56:04

and

56:04

that is an incredible

56:08

strength they bring on

56:09

the table when they come here.

56:10

no matter the circumstances that is such

56:13

a what I learned Prim,

56:15

not professional, has to be a

56:17

it has to be a something

56:19

really contributing factor. People would

56:21

come, kids would come from the

56:23

broken families, need

56:24

more support right after that.

56:26

the last five, six years when I realized it was happening. I already

56:29

put on the radar to

56:31

the specialist here. if

56:34

something happens, we want those kids to be first taken

56:36

under, you know, their wings or

56:38

professionals. So but with the

56:41

least situation, I Yes. Look

56:44

at how she developed. She could not talk to me

56:46

on the phone while she was under freshman.

56:48

She

56:48

would either text me or

56:50

have Garrett Patel. Now, just and

56:53

I see her post. I I

56:55

see her inspiring the others.

56:57

What a development and the young lady who

56:59

could even talk to me on

57:01

the phone. if you would text me. Whatever's yet, if you

57:03

would text me.

57:04

That's what the

57:06

you know, that's what their

57:08

how she grew, you know, all encounter and she had

57:11

to power through it. But

57:14

again,

57:14

I knew

57:16

that she came from an incredibly

57:18

tight knit family. Their

57:20

connection for for each other was

57:22

nothing

57:23

but a hundred percent. everything else

57:25

to everything else just just her learn the

57:27

ropes and learn how to deal with

57:29

the diversity. So wow

57:31

Mhmm. I never had a doubt

57:33

that she be superstar. just I'm just happy that

57:36

every everything manifested to the

57:38

highest level.

57:40

It certainly

57:40

did. And I mean, I think there is no question. I mean,

57:42

learning a little bit

57:43

more about your personality, everything. I sounds

57:45

like you would have

57:47

really navigated. Nope. any

57:49

obstacle that really came your way, but that sounds like it was

57:51

a really critical period. It was a it

57:53

was a launching pad, really.

57:56

and it could have gone in so many different directions.

57:59

Yeah. You saw a lot of

57:59

tears, Gia. A lot of tears. He's being

58:02

nice, so he's not

58:04

outing me. And I think I really

58:06

would have, like, tried to withdraw

58:08

more if I didn't have people

58:10

always up in my business

58:12

asking me if I was okay.

58:14

Like, really just, like, the

58:16

repetition and, like, different ways of, like,

58:18

checking in on someone

58:20

is so

58:22

important. Yeah. So what are some different ways do you think

58:24

that somebody could

58:27

check-in with

58:28

where a student athlete.

58:30

And so let's pretend

58:32

that we're having a conversation with the

58:34

eighteen year old lead because there's an

58:36

eighteen year old lead listening. to

58:39

this conversation right now. And there's a lot

58:41

of people who are listening who are

58:44

around that eighteen year oldly, and

58:45

they want help, but maybe they don't know

58:48

how to. So

58:49

what are think helpful for you? And

58:51

I have some ideas

58:53

too. when

58:56

I was a freshman, I had

58:58

amazing captain and upperclassmen. They were just

59:02

strong, beautiful woman. And I

59:04

feel like

59:06

having them kind of approach me

59:08

is less scary than someone

59:10

higher up being like, what's

59:13

going on? They'll be like, we

59:15

like, let's start with a hug and, like, just

59:17

see. Like, you'll spill your beans on the

59:19

own. So, like, just

59:22

using this different

59:24

people -- Yeah.

59:25

-- like even, like, family

59:28

members too. Like,

59:30

that's

59:31

always a route. family members

59:33

as in who. Like, if

59:35

Gio Gio could try to, like, ask

59:37

the captain to talk to

59:39

me, like, Garik, my

59:42

parents, obviously, he can be very direct

59:44

too. But I think, like you said, for some

59:46

people, that's a little bit intimidating

59:48

or the relationship isn't there

59:50

yet.

59:50

Absolutely. Yeah.

59:51

It really was. I mean, I just don't know,

59:53

you know, looking back

59:54

at my experience. I

59:57

don't think even if I

59:59

was talking to my

59:59

eighteen year old self.

1:00:02

I

1:00:02

I would not have been able to

1:00:04

go to my coaches and say,

1:00:06

hey, I'm really

1:00:08

struggling right

1:00:09

now. I don't know if I had the language to be able

1:00:11

to articulate my emotions too. I

1:00:13

felt very

1:00:14

comfortable with my assistant

1:00:16

coach. oftentimes.

1:00:18

But you're right. I think maybe,

1:00:20

you know, having other people get involved

1:00:22

in the conversation. And so, GEA,

1:00:24

I think one thing that you mentioned that

1:00:27

was really Horton was that he reached out to your old coach. Kinda

1:00:29

it sounds like your junior

1:00:31

coach to to brainstorm a little bit and get

1:00:33

to know you and talk

1:00:35

about other strategies. And

1:00:37

I think that's also really important and that's

1:00:39

that sense of humility of like really being

1:00:41

open as a coach

1:00:42

and reaching out to other

1:00:45

people within that athlete's network, whether

1:00:47

it's the parent. Some coaches don't want to

1:00:49

bring in the parents because they're like, oh, you know,

1:00:51

I don't maybe they'll get too

1:00:53

involved or whatever. But to really, really fully help

1:00:55

the athlete. We have to be open

1:00:58

to

1:00:59

recognizing where our limitations

1:01:02

are. And also, you know,

1:01:04

for

1:01:05

whoever it is, whether it's a trainer or

1:01:07

a physical therapist or even a sports

1:01:09

psychologist, Once it gets out of our realm and we

1:01:11

feel like we can't we're not able to

1:01:13

help this person, we have to

1:01:15

be

1:01:15

able to hand it off to somebody else

1:01:17

and be like, you know what? I'm gonna

1:01:19

reach

1:01:19

out to this person because this person might be

1:01:22

able to help you. For me as a clinician,

1:01:24

like, I have to realize that. There are gonna be

1:01:26

certain people that I work with.

1:01:28

Right? Teresa, there's

1:01:28

gonna be certain people. And correct me if I'm wrong, I wanna make sure I'm getting

1:01:30

this right because you're the one that's much more

1:01:34

experienced.

1:01:34

There's gonna be

1:01:35

moments when I

1:01:37

working with

1:01:38

a client, and I'm gonna hit a wall. And

1:01:40

I'm not gonna be able to help them the way that somebody

1:01:42

else would be. So our job

1:01:44

is to have that awareness. Right?

1:01:47

and say, you know what? I'm gonna

1:01:48

try to refer you out to somebody

1:01:50

else because this person's gonna help you

1:01:53

more. Oh, absolutely. And

1:01:55

you know how you try

1:01:57

to figure out how they will respond

1:01:59

to you

1:01:59

and other people. So oftentimes with

1:02:02

the therapists that I work

1:02:04

with, that's exactly what I say. You have this relationship with them. This is what

1:02:06

they need, but they're not gonna get it for

1:02:08

me. So

1:02:08

you need to work on this. And vice

1:02:10

versa, they'll

1:02:10

say, okay. They are now

1:02:13

listening to me. And so therefore, can you take care of

1:02:15

this? Because that's your role. And so

1:02:18

that's exactly, again, when

1:02:20

you're talking

1:02:21

about this network of people, you

1:02:24

know, that's exactly what

1:02:26

Gio was trying to do, was trying

1:02:28

to get all this Caleira information.

1:02:30

Right? So

1:02:31

that he could and try to

1:02:33

treat this

1:02:35

patient. That's

1:02:42

we were going. Sorry. You're not a patient,

1:02:44

but you know what I mean? Yeah. It's

1:02:46

just like so we're handling this -- Yeah. --

1:02:48

particular athlete by getting all

1:02:50

the information you have will make you

1:02:52

more

1:02:52

effective -- Mhmm. -- you know, to help

1:02:54

your

1:02:54

your person. Mhmm. Mhmm. And

1:02:57

I, you

1:02:57

know, I think the less and

1:03:00

in this particular

1:03:02

instance and story is and

1:03:04

it it's making me honestly reflect on

1:03:06

my own as student athlete experience.

1:03:08

And

1:03:09

so I think the

1:03:12

lesson is is that

1:03:14

the support system is not

1:03:16

about preventing us from

1:03:18

experiencing these obstacles.

1:03:20

It's really

1:03:20

about how we're gonna come through

1:03:23

and come kinda come on top because

1:03:25

I think when I've been reflecting on my

1:03:28

experiences, sometimes I've thought,

1:03:30

well, if I did something

1:03:32

differently or if something was different

1:03:34

in my life or if this person

1:03:36

reacted differently or if I went to a different

1:03:38

school, maybe it would have

1:03:40

been different. And I don't Now I'm really

1:03:42

coming to the realization. I don't think it would have

1:03:44

been different. These obstacles

1:03:46

and these struggles are always gonna emerge.

1:03:48

It's just a matter of when

1:03:50

and how. and then having

1:03:52

the the the right

1:03:53

support system and

1:03:56

everybody working together as

1:03:56

a team in a village

1:03:59

is really going to help us through it.

1:04:02

And GEA, as I'm kind of talking this

1:04:03

out, does anything come to mind for you? Do

1:04:05

you have any thoughts

1:04:08

about this? Well,

1:04:09

I Lee gave

1:04:11

the interview after

1:04:12

she won the her first

1:04:15

incident place and discovered her biggest,

1:04:17

the greatest weakness. It was a cookies.

1:04:19

I didn't know about it. And they

1:04:21

asked if

1:04:22

if you like and I could eat cookies

1:04:23

every day, five times a day. I was

1:04:26

like, oh, So I realized that if I if he ever

1:04:28

she was even encountering the bad day,

1:04:30

I knew about it. I will

1:04:34

meet with her, like, a couple minutes, and I'll have a cookie

1:04:36

with me. And it's always

1:04:38

mitigating the the conversation was

1:04:41

always smoother after. that, hey, have

1:04:43

a cookie. I just

1:04:44

happen to have made my You don't even

1:04:46

know how many cookies gives given me over time.

1:04:48

What kind of cookies are definitely talking

1:04:50

about? like Well, there's just, like, normal

1:04:53

chocolate chocolate chip, like, one. Oh,

1:04:55

okay. Five massive cookies.

1:04:56

Yeah. We have a great

1:04:58

Italian baked here. So I would just pick up the cookie

1:05:00

of the wood coming here, and I will start

1:05:02

the conversation with the cookie. And then

1:05:04

on, it was a lot easier

1:05:07

to deal with anything. I

1:05:09

I guess knowing individually

1:05:12

what makes them with ease,

1:05:14

the

1:05:14

comfort zone in that

1:05:18

situation. discovering

1:05:18

that comfort zone and then go from there.

1:05:20

Honestly, obviously, it is the number

1:05:23

one priority. But the

1:05:25

mindset how you come

1:05:26

this realization to this conversation. So if it's comfort

1:05:28

zone in that situation,

1:05:30

discovering that comfort

1:05:32

zone and then

1:05:35

go from there. Honestly, obviously, it is the number

1:05:37

one priority. But the mindset, how do

1:05:39

you

1:05:39

come put this realization to this

1:05:42

kind of And so if it's

1:05:44

we learn what is their

1:05:46

comfort zone or ultimate comfort zone

1:05:48

that we could we could communicate with

1:05:52

with with open minds and and with with

1:05:54

the with with the with the

1:05:56

with all the security behind of

1:06:00

it. So

1:06:00

everything else everything is possible after that.

1:06:02

So for me, it was the

1:06:04

cookies and then

1:06:06

sometimes I would drive her to

1:06:08

airport. and

1:06:10

I would have a cookie or like

1:06:12

a candy bar. And I would open

1:06:14

her bag and I would

1:06:17

put it in there. I put in there.

1:06:19

She was going to Korea, and she's gone for three days. And I opened the bag and

1:06:21

I see like a four pairs of shoes. I said,

1:06:23

what the heck? Why did she need the four

1:06:25

pairs of shoes? realized

1:06:28

that that that that that

1:06:30

that that style ish young lady

1:06:32

right here was it was not just happened

1:06:35

today. It was becoming, but

1:06:38

just the small things what makes the things

1:06:40

go around and knowing that

1:06:44

we

1:06:44

are in tune with each other. We care for each other. At the end of

1:06:46

the day, I'm the recipient of

1:06:48

the blessing from the God who

1:06:51

the jackpot. There's not enough

1:06:54

a lot of money in the world that could have won what made me

1:06:56

who I am without her coming

1:06:58

to us and Garik and many

1:07:02

others. That's a blessing for me, but understanding

1:07:04

what makes

1:07:05

them

1:07:07

comfortable to to

1:07:09

to to interact. So

1:07:11

the my my secret

1:07:14

was spelled by her in the

1:07:16

interview, so I had already had

1:07:17

had start. we're so comfortable that you can't get rid of us ten years

1:07:20

later. You might be regretting

1:07:22

all of this. Get

1:07:24

ready for that four AM phone call in a few

1:07:26

years when

1:07:28

she's whenever that is, when she's finally walking away

1:07:31

from fencing, which

1:07:34

will come, We're gonna

1:07:35

GEA's gonna be ready for the for

1:07:37

a lot of cookies. A whole pack of Oreos

1:07:40

asked, please. I mean, it is it's so

1:07:42

true. It's just like the little things.

1:07:44

I mean, whether you are a friend or a

1:07:46

teacher or a coach

1:07:48

or a parent, I mean, it

1:07:49

doesn't

1:07:51

take a lot. but

1:07:53

it

1:07:53

does take a lot of cognitive effort in just paying

1:07:55

attention. And he had not been

1:07:57

paying attention. He would have never known how

1:07:59

to really

1:08:00

connect

1:08:02

with you and how to take down that that that wall

1:08:04

of yours, but he because he

1:08:06

was paying attention and

1:08:09

he remembered and he

1:08:11

would always bring those cookies for you. And that was his

1:08:13

way of communicating. And obviously, like, we communicate not

1:08:15

just with our words,

1:08:18

but through our behaviors and actions and nonverbal

1:08:20

cues. Right? So GEA, I know

1:08:22

you

1:08:22

have to go shortly, but before

1:08:24

we wrap up this conversation and go

1:08:26

to the Q and A portion, Any

1:08:28

lasting thoughts from each

1:08:30

of you about everything that

1:08:33

we've unpacked today, and we've really

1:08:34

impacted a lot. And I just

1:08:38

thank you so much for opening up and and sharing

1:08:40

your thoughts and being so vulnerable. It's you're

1:08:42

really gonna help so many people. But

1:08:45

we're talking about support systems. and the responsibility role

1:08:48

that we all have

1:08:50

in helping student athletes.

1:08:53

Any lasting thoughts for our listeners

1:08:55

out there to resell go to first. One

1:08:57

of the things that Lee and

1:08:59

I talked about

1:09:01

was, you know, perhaps when students come

1:09:03

to campus, like in the beginning, even

1:09:06

before they have any sort of

1:09:08

issues, mental health issues,

1:09:10

is provide education for them

1:09:13

about how to skillfully

1:09:15

manage things, their emotions, and, you

1:09:19

know, their moods even before

1:09:22

they have the breakdown, you know, and to make it okay

1:09:24

to say

1:09:25

that they're

1:09:28

having problems But

1:09:30

again, I I think about education even though you think it's not relevant to you because you're

1:09:36

perfectly a strong, well

1:09:38

developed student and athlete. That's why you're getting the

1:09:40

scholarship. Right? I mean,

1:09:42

you wanna keep that

1:09:44

face out

1:09:47

because when you when you

1:09:49

are

1:09:49

there as an athlete, no matter

1:09:52

what

1:09:52

sport. Right? I

1:09:54

mean, you you feel like you're a big deal and you should put on that

1:09:57

face and keep that face. But if

1:09:59

you provide

1:09:59

education to

1:10:03

say, Listen, if if

1:10:04

you need

1:10:05

help, it's gonna be

1:10:06

here and it's okay. That

1:10:10

doesn't make you weak. you

1:10:12

know, just because you start

1:10:15

feeling emotional and you're not

1:10:17

doing

1:10:17

as well, you know, there's help

1:10:19

out there and it doesn't

1:10:21

make you any less. You

1:10:23

know, so I think just kind of providing that for the athletes when they first come, maybe

1:10:27

something that's helpful.

1:10:28

Yeah. That's such

1:10:30

a great idea. Thank you. Lee, any lasting thoughts? I'm

1:10:35

just very grateful gea

1:10:37

to my parents for being so amazing. And

1:10:39

just reiterating, like you said, like

1:10:42

they are absolutely incredible, but

1:10:44

I still

1:10:46

struggled. So

1:10:48

everyone

1:10:48

should just, you know,

1:10:50

keeping very thoughtful, but

1:10:52

also like be

1:10:54

patient with yourself and just

1:10:56

work

1:10:57

through the process with as

1:10:59

much communication

1:11:00

as you

1:11:03

can. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you for sharing that. And GEA,

1:11:05

any lasting thoughts about

1:11:08

our topic

1:11:11

and conversation today? I consider

1:11:12

ourselves the coach's teachers, then the two

1:11:14

professions in the world cannot make a

1:11:17

mistake at the doctors

1:11:19

misdiagnosed the patient. and

1:11:21

the teachers misleading to to

1:11:23

go into the different directions. So we all to realize

1:11:27

that well-being

1:11:28

of our

1:11:30

students is more important than anything,

1:11:32

any any results out there. And

1:11:34

if we could keep it in

1:11:36

mind, most of the time. because

1:11:39

we're competitive as well. Things

1:11:41

can be okay.

1:11:43

Oh, amazing. I wanna

1:11:45

adopt Gia is my coach. Even though

1:11:47

I know nothing about fencing, but maybe you can be my kind of like life

1:11:50

mentor coach Gia. I do.

1:11:54

you kinda he feels so just comfortable to be

1:11:56

around. If you get a phone call from

1:11:58

me at four AM, you

1:11:59

know, you can just blame it

1:12:02

on on this panel in LG right

1:12:04

now. Sorry. Hey, we grow up with

1:12:05

our athletes and where we are today because

1:12:07

of the experiences

1:12:11

they taught us. as well. So I'm

1:12:13

so grateful for Lee and Garik and every woman or

1:12:15

man who came through our programs.

1:12:17

That's where we are because

1:12:20

of them. Amazing.

1:12:21

Well, Teresa, Lee Gia, it's been such an honor.

1:12:23

We're

1:12:23

gonna continue our

1:12:28

conversation here. He has got many other

1:12:30

student athletes who are gonna call them at four AM, and so we're gonna let them go. But we're gonna continue

1:12:32

our conversation. We'll

1:12:35

take a quick break and

1:12:37

then we'll we'll move forward with our Q and A portion.

1:12:39

But, yeah, thank you so much for joining us today. It was such an honor getting to know you. Thank

1:12:41

you so

1:12:43

much. Take care. Bye

1:12:49

bye.

1:12:53

Really

1:12:54

hope you enjoyed today's conversation

1:12:56

and took something away from it.

1:12:58

Stay tuned next week for another

1:13:00

episode of the LG transparent conversation

1:13:02

soon. series on student athlete, mental health, and

1:13:04

well-being. For Alding's LG transparent

1:13:06

conversations, be sure to check

1:13:09

out their website, l

1:13:11

g dot com forward slash u s

1:13:13

forward slash transparent dash conversations. I

1:13:16

know that was a mouthful. Again, that's

1:13:18

l g dot com forward slash u

1:13:20

s forward

1:13:22

slash transparent dash conversations. Also,

1:13:25

for other episodes of