0:00

The OCD and Anxiety Podcast by Robert James Coaching.

0:06

Music.

0:19

Hello and welcome to The OCD and Anxiety Podcast where we explore how to have

0:26

a more positive relationship with anxiety disorders disorders,

0:28

taking back control so that you can start living the life you choose and not

0:33

the one chosen by your fears. Music.

0:46

Hello and welcome to episode 389. I hope that you're doing very well today.

0:51

However, if you are struggling with OCD or anxiety, you can get a free session with me to get that.

0:57

You can head over to my website robertjamescoaching.com there

1:00

you can book in for that free session or if you prefer you can

1:03

just send me a message and let me know about what you're struggling

1:07

with in today's podcast I'm going to be talking about

1:10

the importance of taking action of

1:13

kind of not waiting to to kind of feel

1:16

just right or to feel perfect or to

1:19

feel a certain kind of way before taking action

1:22

in your life and OCD is really good at kind

1:25

of stopping us from from from taking that action we

1:28

we tend to believe that we need to feel right before we can do things and i

1:32

think this is part of part of the kind of process in a way that keeps us stuck

1:37

with ocd so it's really important to to take some action with it if you find

1:42

the podcast helpful it would be great if you could follow and like on instagram

1:45

my instagram handle is at robertjamescoachinguk,

1:48

also the podcast is now on youtube as well so if you'd like to follow there

1:52

you can i really hope that you enjoy if you have any questions at all about

1:56

anything i speak about today don't hesitate to get in touch and off we go many thanks.

2:07

Here are some quotes to get us started today the first is

2:10

by pablo picasso action is the.

2:12

Foundational key to all success this

2:16

is obviously quite a clear and obvious statement

2:20

really we have to have action in

2:23

order to have any success at all we we actually have

2:26

to get out there into the the world and you know

2:29

start taking action and unfortunately OCD is

2:32

really really good at stopping us from doing that the

2:35

second quote is by Tony Robbins the path

2:39

to success is to take massive determined

2:42

actions and you know

2:45

again I really I really like this quote it's very simple and straightforward

2:48

you know and and how often is it

2:51

the case that with OCD unfortunately we're kind of

2:54

doing the opposite the opposite of that we are we're

2:57

taking you know no action because we

3:00

feel that the OCD is so powerful so strong

3:04

that the obsessions are you know

3:07

really limiting us to the point where you know

3:09

we can we can end up feeling that that we're not able to

3:13

to take the action that you know that we need to take

3:15

to be able to do the exposure work or to to lean

3:19

into to the discomfort to practice diffusion techniques to

3:22

meditate or to start exercising whatever it

3:25

is that you might be working on to try to to help you

3:28

with your wellness or with your your ability to

3:31

kind of deal with discomfort and manage manage

3:35

the OCD more effectively you know unfortunately OCD

3:39

is very very sneaky and very.

3:41

Very good at kind of persuading us that.

3:44

We shouldn't take action that actually you know action

3:47

is only going to cause us more discomfort it's going to make the

3:50

OCD worse you know so so we shouldn't do

3:53

that at all and it's part of the kind of OCD trap.

3:57

You know that that I think is a big part of the OCD the OCD process it's so

4:02

annoying OCD traps us it makes us feel like you know we we can't whatever we

4:09

do it's not going to work you know The things that we're trying to do so often,

4:13

which is more often than not, thinking about it more, trying to figure it out,

4:19

trying to get reassurance in different ways.

4:21

It feels like those are the things that we're doing to try to manage it.

4:26

Of course, those things are actually compulsions and they're just making the OCD worse.

4:31

And so, you know, it feels like the action we are taking isn't really working.

4:35

And when you're really stuck with OCD and maybe you haven't experienced the

4:39

benefits that you can get from things like exposure or acceptance commitment

4:43

therapy, you know, when you're just starting out with it, it can be very difficult

4:46

to believe that anything is going to help you.

4:49

You know, those things really do help. They have a lot of research to back them up.

4:54

But you know when you're really in the thick of it

4:57

when you're really struggling with it it can be so

4:59

hard to believe that actually if I do this

5:02

activity it is going to help me to feel better you know

5:06

it's very tempting to just kind of sit back and

5:09

say well you know I'm just gonna avoid these

5:12

things because they make me feel very uncomfortable you know

5:16

I don't want to step out and and deal with that so I'm

5:19

just going to avoid it and you know that's going

5:21

to make life easier and unfortunately the more that we

5:24

do that the smaller our lives start to

5:27

become and again this is a very typical thing within OCD

5:31

certainly I remember when I

5:34

was really struggling in my 20s with OCD you

5:37

know this was one of the things I think was kind of

5:40

holding me back is that I was always wanting to

5:43

feel a certain kind of way before taking

5:46

action and I'd kind of persuaded weighted

5:49

myself you know that that feeling

5:52

that I was experiencing was a barrier to my

5:55

success that until I could get rid of that feeling or or feel better about it

6:01

there was no point in taking any action because the feeling the uncomfortable

6:05

feeling and the thoughts was the problem until they were gone you know I wasn't

6:11

going to take any action and this is a really typical thing I think.

6:15

Within OCD, it may not be, you may not be quite as stuck as I was,

6:20

or you may be more stuck than I was.

6:22

Obviously everyone's situation is different, but ultimately it comes,

6:27

it comes back to that kind of thing where you,

6:29

where you fall on that kind of spectrum of how hard that might have been or

6:35

might be, might be for you today, you know, is, is really dependent on,

6:39

on your personal situation, where you are in terms of learning to kind of manage OCD and do exposure work

6:48

or work with a therapist or whatever you might be doing.

6:52

And so it's so important that we recognize that this is a really big part of

6:59

the process of getting over OCD, is actually taking action when you would really rather not,

7:07

when you're really actually feeling that the anxiety is winning today.

7:10

This is, you know, I feel so uncomfortable.

7:13

I'm just going to avoid that thing or I'm not going to do this or I'm going

7:16

to get the reassurance or I'm going to perform this compulsion.

7:19

You know we we'd rather

7:22

kind of take that that easy way out a lot of

7:25

the time with OCD because of course the compulsions are

7:28

the familiar things the things that we've been doing for a

7:31

long time they give us reassurance they

7:34

make us feel better in the short term when we perform

7:36

a compulsion you know we do actually get a

7:39

payoff in the short term we feel slightly better it gives us

7:42

a sense of control but we know in the long term

7:45

all that's actually happening is we're reinforcing forcing

7:48

the OCD and so you know

7:51

this idea of taking of taking action is

7:55

very much focusing on action that

7:58

is actually going to help with the OCD rather

8:01

than focusing on the typical behaviors that are generally keeping us stuck you

8:06

know the the compulsions and the action in my experience it kind of needs to

8:12

focus on recognizing that actually we're not going to to feel better in the

8:18

short term a lot of the time that.

8:21

Even if we're feeling very uncomfortable in the moment, stepping out and trying

8:26

to do things a bit differently, despite the fact that you're feeling uncomfortable,

8:31

is often a way that you can find a way through that discomfort and to begin

8:37

to experience and then ultimately to begin to accept it.

8:42

Acceptance is obviously a very key word when it comes to anxiety and OCD.

8:46

You know really i think this is what we're we're

8:49

kind of up to is we're you know we're learning how to

8:52

experience difficult emotions difficult situations and

8:56

you know allowing ourselves to experience those things without getting so annoyed

9:04

and frustrated about them being present all the time to kind of acknowledge

9:09

that anxiety and discomfort is actually a normal part of life that But, you know,

9:16

if something is very anxiety inducing or difficult for you, it's bringing up

9:20

other difficult emotions. It's not necessarily a bad thing. Often it's pointing to something that's important

9:27

to you in some way or something that, you know, that you really want to achieve in your life.

9:34

And, you know, maybe you're just trying to leave your house a little bit quicker

9:40

because you don't want to check things as much.

9:42

Or maybe you're not wanting to to go back and

9:45

repeat something for the uh the fifth time maybe

9:49

you are just wanting to kind of stop ruminating about

9:52

something you know but there's this nagging feeling of of yeah but this is really

9:57

uncomfortable i i you know i don't want to just leave the house or i don't want

10:02

to just stop ruminating because i just want to think about this just a bit more

10:05

or i just want to get that certainty and check one more time you know and we don't we don't want

10:12

to kind of do the thing that we know we should which is to

10:15

to allow that little bit of uncertainty and

10:19

to take action to step out in our into our lives and

10:23

to not get you know that that that reassurance

10:26

by checking it again to to not ruminate it

10:29

ruminate about it again but to accept the

10:32

fact that yeah we are feeling a bit anxious in that

10:35

moment and that that's okay and that we're able

10:38

to step out into our lives anyway and take

10:41

positive action despite the fact that we

10:44

might be feeling uncomfortable in that moment and this is so so important this

10:49

concept when we're able to to recognize that that is what we have to do you

10:53

know and and we practice this and we start demonstrating to ourselves that we

10:58

can do it you know that we can actually you know get back into.

11:02

Our lives and start living it in a positive way, despite the anxiety being present sometimes.

11:08

And when we do that, we also demonstrate to ourselves that that anxiety actually comes down eventually.

11:16

It may come down fairly quickly sometimes once you start taking

11:19

action or other times it may take a bit longer but

11:23

anxiety doesn't just stay the same and you know when

11:25

we actually refocus our attention onto other

11:28

things and we come more into the present moment well

11:32

generally what tends to happen is that

11:35

the anxiety will will begin to settle down

11:38

because you're no longer focused on it quite so much you're

11:41

not so fixated and obsessed on on the

11:43

obsession itself you're actually beginning to move your

11:46

attention elsewhere and when we do that i

11:50

think the body begins to just kind of to take

11:53

over a little bit we're not so stuck in our heads we're able

11:56

to come into the body and we're able to be more in the present and

11:59

when we do this we we become a bit more accepting and

12:02

it as i was saying before it really is so much of

12:05

of ocd is about bringing acceptance to

12:08

these difficult emotional states and one of

12:11

the best ways i've found of doing that is actually taking action getting

12:15

out there into our lives reflecting on

12:18

what's really important to us and then taking that

12:22

action you know to to kind of live our lives

12:25

by by those things that are important to us and when we do this you know things

12:31

do begin to change little by little and you know really what i'm talking about

12:35

here is you know very much related to acceptance commitment therapy as you've

12:39

You've probably heard me talking about a lot before on the podcast.

12:43

ACT has been something that's been very, very helpful for me over the years

12:47

with my own struggles with OCD.

12:50

You know, and there's this kind of phrase taken from ACT.

12:54

I'm paraphrasing a little bit, but it's something along the lines of get back

12:59

into your life and bring the difficult emotions, the thoughts,

13:05

anything else along for the ride.

13:08

Meaning that you don't need to get rid of

13:11

these things in order for you to start taking action in

13:14

your life and start living today you know

13:17

and i think it's a really powerful message taken

13:20

from acceptance commitment therapy it really does it

13:23

really does work and also when you think about

13:26

the goal of doing exposure work you know

13:29

so often with with exposure what we're

13:32

actually doing is we're just trying to feel the difficult

13:35

emotions that we're experiencing okay with

13:38

exposure it's obviously different from acceptance commitment therapy

13:41

really what we're trying to do is to learn how to habituate

13:45

to the difficult emotion by by bringing

13:48

it up on purpose and then sitting with that difficult emotion and learning how

13:52

to feel it we start off very gently with that trying to experience the more

13:58

difficult emotions in a controlled way not not trying to have something that's

14:03

too powerful but learning. How to feel those emotions in a positive way, learning how to just sit with

14:10

them and to be patient with them and to acknowledge that with time,

14:14

you know, the difficult emotions, the anxiety will begin to come down.

14:19

With acceptance commitment therapy, you're tending to kind of take more action.

14:24

So you're acknowledging that the difficult emotions are there.

14:28

Maybe you'll try to feel them a little bit and

14:30

just come into the body for a few seconds and pay

14:33

attention but then it's very much about refocusing

14:37

your attention back onto your values back onto your

14:39

goals and you know what's most important to you

14:43

and so often when we do this the anxiety does just

14:46

begin to come down what OCD really wants

14:49

you to be doing in my experience is just to to

14:51

be taking no action to kind of sit there to think

14:54

about your fears to try to figure all

14:57

out cognitively to to go over things

15:00

again and again to problem solve and unfortunately all

15:04

of these things just are you know they're just compulsions they're

15:07

just sneaky ways that the OCD you know

15:10

encourages you to to kind of do because it

15:13

keeps you stuck OCD just wants you to

15:16

keep doing the thing that you've you've been doing habitually for

15:19

a long time because well it just wants you to

15:22

to keep doing OCD because that's kind of familiar

15:25

that's comfortable when we actually step out

15:28

and take action that can be you know a

15:31

little bit more uncomfortable sometimes because maybe we're not

15:34

so used to it you know we may be more used to just kind of thinking about our

15:39

fears all the time and ruminating or checking things or whatever your compulsions

15:44

might be and so you know There's this resistance sometimes that comes up when

15:49

we think about taking positive action and focusing on our values.

15:54

But it's very helpful if you can to just observe that resistance.

15:59

This is something that Steven Pressfield talks about in The War of Art when

16:03

he speaks about creativity. He says that any time that you sit down to do something that's important to

16:09

you, resistance comes up or a sense of anxiety comes up.

16:14

And you're kind of, you know, you find all sorts of reasons to procrastinate

16:18

and to not do the thing that you know will actually make you feel better.

16:22

And I think it's quite similar sometimes in this situation.

16:26

We kind of know on some level that taking action, going out and doing something,

16:31

going for a walk or, you know, just getting up and cleaning the house and focusing

16:36

on movement, listening to music, whatever it might be.

16:39

We know that these things are going to bring us

16:41

more into the body and kind of draw us out of the head and

16:44

help us but for some reason so often

16:47

we don't quite want to do that there's that resistance that comes up and so

16:51

if you can try to observe that resistance pay attention to it feel it in the

16:56

body if you can observe it but don't allow it to dictate your life and how you're

17:03

going to kind respond to OCD moving forward.

17:06

See if you can have a different perspective on that when that urge comes up

17:11

and says, no, just sit here, keep thinking about it.

17:14

Can you instead just kind of gently remind yourself that perhaps that is the

17:20

OCD and perhaps if you get up and start taking action,

17:24

you might start feeling a bit better about that anxiety and perhaps that anxiety

17:29

anxiety will begin to come down a little bit so there we go guys i really hope

17:34

that you enjoyed that one if you have any questions at all do please let me

17:38

know and i will see you next time.

17:43

Just a quick reminder that if you want to get a free

17:46

session all you need to do to get that is to head over

17:48

to my website www.robertjamescoaching.com and

17:53

there you can leave me a message and we can arrange the free

17:57

session and now just a quick

17:59

reminder of my disclaimer any information

18:03

that you view on my website Instagram page

18:06

Facebook group or anywhere else online or any information that you listen to

18:12

on the podcast is for informational purposes only and is not intended to be

18:17

a substitute for actual medical or mental health advice from a doctor psychologist

18:22

or any other medical or mental health professional.

18:26

Music.