0:01

for just

0:20

this is

2:00

delivery food because I'm like, I'm not going to go out. But

2:02

then in my paranoid brain, I thank God, the

2:04

person who dropped this off touched this. What if

2:06

they have COVID? Oh God. Yeah.

2:10

And if he's like snuck a bite or something

2:12

as well, took my burger out,

2:14

carefully took a bite, rewrapped it. So I

2:16

wouldn't notice. Also

2:19

people are crazy. I mean, there's potentially people

2:21

that are out there that are just like

2:24

their delivery drivers and they just cough on the

2:26

food on purpose just to infect people. Like you

2:28

never know. I'm

2:31

afraid of that kind of shit. Definitely. I was

2:33

in the grocery store earlier today and I heard

2:35

a woman cough in the produce aisle and I

2:37

just walked the other way. I was like, no,

2:41

same thing. Yeah, me too. I

2:43

ain't risking it. I like held my

2:46

breath. Like I was an astronaut underwater

2:48

diver or something just to get through

2:50

the area. I don't

2:52

know. Same shit. Oh my God. It's like

2:55

it's stuff that you wouldn't have ever thought about before

2:57

COVID, but now it's just constantly

3:00

on your brain. Yep. And I hate,

3:02

I hate it. I'm vaccinated.

3:04

I've got boosters. I

3:06

felt like a fucking unstoppable superhuman. I

3:08

went out, I did everything and then

3:10

I got this and now

3:12

I just keep thinking, man, I

3:14

don't want to go out because people,

3:17

people got me sick and

3:20

if I just avoid people, I won't get

3:22

sick again. But there's

3:24

no way to live. Yeah. It's

3:26

also not entirely true. Even if

3:28

you avoid everyone, you can get

3:30

it to just through proxy. Yeah.

3:34

I've kind of ascertained that I just have

3:36

to give up and throw myself into the

3:38

cesspool. See what happens. I

3:40

think, I honestly think the reason why

3:42

like my third COVID was

3:45

the worst one is because I

3:47

had spent so long inside, like not doing anything. I

3:49

was going to say, I was going to say that.

3:51

There's an argument to me made that

3:54

like the longer you stay inside as

3:56

well, you're destroying weaker. When you finally

3:58

go out and then it's just going to

4:00

hit you like a ton of bricks. So

4:02

that's interesting that you made the same connection.

4:04

Maybe that is why. I think

4:07

it probably is. Yeah, I really do think

4:09

that is why it was so fucking bad

4:11

for the most recent one. You're

4:13

right. Interesting. So go

4:15

out every single day. Yeah, kissing

4:17

babies, campaigning. It's

4:19

like exposure therapy. Mm

4:22

hmm. For your, for

4:24

your body. Well, that is how it works actually. Yeah,

4:27

that's how you build your immune system in

4:30

general. That's why people

4:32

want kids to play outside and really encourage it

4:34

because they're like, hey, if you stick fucking dirt

4:36

in your mouth and worms and all this shit,

4:38

you're going to build up immunities to this stuff

4:40

as you get older instead of staying inside. Yeah,

4:44

the whole fucking grandparents meme of like them saying,

4:46

well, in our day, we used to go out

4:48

and roll around in mud and shit like that.

4:51

And they still

4:53

do. When you're not looking.

4:56

Yeah, my grandpa's out there all the time

4:58

rolling around in mud. He actually is. My

5:00

grandpa is like an actual dirt degenerate. He

5:03

is always dirty with like

5:05

just mud and shit caked all over him because

5:07

he's like he loves working in his garden and

5:09

shit like that. And also, to

5:11

be fair, I don't

5:14

think I've ever seen him really sick.

5:16

So maybe there is truth to

5:18

it. Maybe

5:20

he's crusted up so much that he has

5:22

like a protective layer from all the grime

5:25

on him now. I

5:29

mean, it's possible I'll put you in touch with him. Maybe

5:31

you two can become fast friends and figure out how to

5:33

solve your issues. Andrew, with

5:35

getting sick. Can he replace

5:37

Kaya on our show and give

5:40

us like fatherly advice? He

5:42

would actually go so hard on this

5:44

show. Like he would be insane. Yeah,

5:47

he's actually like probably the funniest person

5:49

in my family. Like just

5:51

the wackiest, most insane man. He's got

5:53

the, it's sad because obviously he's getting

5:55

old like all grandparents

5:58

do. He's

6:00

hearing's going, so he'll just, he'll

6:03

partake in conversations, but it's very obvious that he's

6:05

just making shit up because he can't understand or

6:08

hear us. So he'll just like

6:10

interject with the most out of left field

6:12

shit, and then it confuses all of us,

6:14

but then he's just like nodding enthusiastically. Shit

6:16

like that. Yeah, I haven't understood

6:18

a thing that he said in the last three

6:20

years. Sounds like

6:23

a delight. Like a fucking treat.

6:28

Well, what we could do to replace

6:30

Kya as our fourth host, because that's

6:32

the direction we're taking this new year,

6:34

we could use Mickey Mouse. Are

6:36

you guys down for that? Yep,

6:39

Mickey Mouse, Steamboat Willie, he's

6:41

available now. The first iteration

6:43

of Mickey Mouse is now

6:45

officially public domain, so as

6:48

long as we keep it the whistling black

6:50

and white version, we can't be

6:52

sued. We can just use it for whatever we want.

6:56

Yeah. Do you think that- How

6:59

long until one of the- Good. I

7:01

was gonna say, how long until one of those

7:03

shitty fucking Winnie the Pooh style horror movies comes

7:06

out of this version of Mickey Mouse? Probably

7:09

already in production, releasing in a

7:11

month. Something like that.

7:13

Jesus Christ. I hate that you said that. I

7:15

didn't even think of that, but now that you

7:17

said that, you're completely right. That's the first thing

7:19

that's gonna happen. Oh

7:22

man. Yeah, but on the other

7:24

hand, a really cool kind of

7:28

horror anime or animation, starting out

7:30

really bloody and gory could be

7:32

fucking pretty cool. I

7:34

think it's a cool style. I really do

7:36

think it's a cool style. Yeah,

7:40

it's- I don't

7:42

know, man. It's just

7:44

I'd rather see something more

7:46

interesting than the obligatory, you

7:49

know, turn it into a spooky horror

7:51

thing. You know what I mean? Oh,

7:54

the Winnie the Pooh shit was the laziest shit

7:56

ever. Yeah. Like it was

7:58

very obviously just- Hey, oh, this shit's

8:01

in the public domain and people know Winnie the

8:03

Pooh. Let's just make the most fucking vanilla,

8:06

well not vanilla, but the most boring shit

8:08

ever and just get people in because it's

8:10

a wacky premise, you know? Yeah,

8:12

it's definitely just using the brand

8:15

to get people to watch your generic slasher movie

8:18

I don't know. I feel I feel like the potential

8:20

is just so much bigger than that though like Winnie

8:22

the Pooh Yeah, man,

8:24

that was that's such like a

8:26

wide open premise of

8:28

you have cuddly talking animals that people recognize

8:31

you could do So

8:33

many different things and yet it's always going to be

8:36

Making a slasher movie make it a horror movie. I

8:39

guess because it's cheap you can do anything with

8:42

like anything with any Property

8:44

as long as your imagination is there which

8:47

is fitting for Winnie the Pooh But I

8:49

feel like the core concept of Winnie the

8:51

Pooh Was perfected when they

8:53

made Winnie the Pooh like Winnie the Pooh

8:55

Like, you know tv series and books and stuff like that. Like

8:58

I don't know where you Where

9:00

you go from there other than just like

9:02

retargeting kids Like the

9:04

horror movie was never going to be like actually

9:07

good It wasn't about

9:09

being good. It was just about getting some

9:11

ticket sales. Yeah. Yeah brand recognition Peer and

9:13

just the fact that exists going we made

9:15

a Winnie the Pooh horror movie. Ooh, look

9:18

at that Yeah Do

9:21

you think do you think anything would have

9:23

come of it if it was let's say

9:25

successful in an actually good movie? Would they

9:27

oh absolutely of course if it was they're

9:29

still making another one. Wait, they're

9:31

making another Mm-hmm.

9:34

Really? I thought everyone hated it They

9:37

did because it was fucking terrible, but they are

9:39

making another one. Oh god damn I did it

9:41

was it was it extremely successful? Uh,

9:44

I'll look for you real quick. Let me see Yeah,

9:47

look it up. I mean it would

9:49

have to be to get a sequel, right?

9:51

Yeah, budget was 100k box office was 5.2.

9:54

Middle. Yeah, that's enough. Okay. Damn

9:57

it. Yep. That'll do it Unless

9:59

they keep their budget at like 100k again

10:01

which is like pretty insane for a movie.

10:04

Like I feel like they won't have the same

10:06

level of success for the sequel because people are

10:09

going to be like onto their

10:11

tricks. Who's going to go back to watch Winnie

10:13

the Pooh like slasher number two? Like

10:15

the the gimmicks up now. You've seen it.

10:18

Yeah. Unless

10:21

unless you add Steamboat Willie into it. Well

10:24

yeah but as long as the budget is super small

10:26

I think any movie can be successful as long as

10:28

it hits theaters. Even if this

10:30

thing just hits one million that's what

10:32

10 times the budget profit it's like

10:35

why not as well. Yeah

10:38

yeah that's why I'll never understand why there's

10:40

not more of these. Just

10:44

in general yeah. Yeah.

10:47

Well James what does he name James

10:49

Wan? Is it James Wan? Yeah

10:52

he perfected that model of oh

10:55

is that? No you're talking about Blumhouse brother.

10:58

Yeah but no no no but I'm pretty sure it was

11:00

James Wan of Aquaman fame

11:02

that started that with Saw right?

11:07

Am I crazy? Blair Witch would be the first one. I think

11:09

you're on Stupid Juice right now. And

11:11

who did Saw? I swear it was James Wan. No.

11:13

Am I crazy? Well Blair Witch would have been the

11:17

first one. It wouldn't have been whoever directed the first

11:19

song. Yeah yeah true. But like can we just focus

11:21

on Saw? Was it James Wan? Because of yeah

11:24

it was. It was James Wan. He was the director. I don't know

11:26

if he was the producer but I would assume he was if he

11:28

was the director for this kind

11:30

of indie at the time indie film.

11:35

Produced. No it wasn't produced by him.

11:37

But regardless yeah like that kind of

11:39

Saw thing their budget was one million

11:41

and their box office was like 150

11:44

million for like Saw. And then

11:46

every Saw after that like they did

11:48

go down in their box office but

11:50

they kept their budgets like really conservative

11:52

and I think that's what started that

11:54

whole movement. That's horror across

11:56

the board though. Yeah. Blair Witch is the

11:58

best example but it's all horror. That

12:00

started with Blair Witch Blair Witch had a

12:02

budget of like $20 and it made hundreds

12:05

of millions of dollars Yeah

12:08

Yeah, is it something that only

12:11

horror can do? No,

12:13

it's really not like a Blumhouse

12:16

again upgrade upgrade had a pretty

12:18

low budget and it

12:20

made here I've just looked at it three million

12:22

dollar budget made 17 million. That's

12:24

still a huge financial success. Mm-hmm Yeah,

12:27

true. But also I feel like with

12:29

horror movies you don't need Big

12:32

actors or big star talent. Yeah, no, you

12:34

know horror films So that cuts down the

12:36

cost a lot whereas with action movies upgrade.

12:38

I think is probably like a bit of

12:41

a It

12:43

doesn't follow the same rules for some reason I'm not

12:45

sure and it's an outlier but with most action movies

12:47

you need like a big name attached to it to

12:50

really sell tickets You are on

12:52

to something and it does show in

12:54

upgrade upgrade is a good movie But

12:56

it has a very wimpy car chase

12:59

That I remember and if they had

13:01

more money in the car chase or

13:03

in that scene It probably would have been way better

13:05

I think the whole thing

13:07

with horror is the actual Barebones

13:10

that you need to make a

13:12

successful movie requires basically nothing just

13:14

interesting cinematography Yeah,

13:17

well here I've got it. I've got

13:19

an even wilder and more topical one

13:21

for you Godzilla minus one Budget

13:24

of around 15 good. It's

13:26

probably my favorite movie of the year, but you're around

13:30

No, go. Yeah, say what you were gonna say then we'll

13:32

gosh over it. We haven't got you 15

13:35

million dollar budget 81 million dollar box

13:37

office Insane

13:39

for foreign language film by the way That

13:41

is absolutely insane well also insane because of

13:43

how good the movie looks to do it

13:45

on 15 mill I think if

13:48

you have like a talented team in place

13:50

You can do lower budget movies that are

13:52

really really good even outside of horror Yeah,

13:55

15 million dollars for that is actually

13:57

insane. I don't know what the fuck

14:00

Like kind of, it's kind of

14:02

exposed to how much of a money sink

14:04

Hollywood is to me. I always knew that.

14:06

But they are, they must be so inefficient

14:08

with their money or it's just going to

14:10

ridiculous, like, self-serving things. It has to be.

14:13

Because you make a film this good on

14:15

15 million dollars and the special effects still

14:17

look incredible in it. And there's

14:19

still a lot of, like, special effects in it

14:22

as well. Like, they didn't skimp out

14:24

on anything they didn't feel like. Ah

14:26

man, it's such a good movie. You know, my

14:30

partner, she didn't want to go

14:32

see it. And I said, no, I've heard it's

14:34

pretty good. Let's go. And she's like, ah, I really

14:36

don't want to go. Godzilla fucking sucks. Those Godzilla movies,

14:38

I hate them. And I'm like, yeah, I know. But

14:40

like, this one's, you know, Japanese. It's a foreign

14:42

film. Let's just go see and see what it's all about. I'm

14:44

hearing good things. We walk out of that. She

14:46

said that, I think that was my favorite movie of the year. And

14:49

I was like, me too. I don't know

14:51

how to feel. Like Godzilla is

14:53

actually my favorite movie of the year. It

14:55

is actually insane how good that movie was.

14:58

And have you seen it? No, not

15:00

yet. Is anyone

15:02

in that cast a big budget actor? Or

15:05

are they all lower end actors? No clue.

15:07

So that's because that's an interesting point on

15:09

the numbers there. The whole movie, Godzilla minus

15:11

one was 15 million, right? The

15:15

whole money paid argument, Jackson. Let's look at The

15:17

Rock, for example, one of the highest paid actors

15:19

in Hollywood. The Rock

15:22

takes 20 million per

15:24

movie. So if The

15:26

Rock was in Godzilla minus one, he would

15:28

be paid more than the entire budget of

15:30

the movie. So when

15:32

you look at big Hollywood movies, they have like

15:35

six, seven, eight big stars in them, all

15:37

earning salaries around that number. I

15:41

never fucking understand The Rock's appeal. I

15:43

get that he was like a big

15:45

WWE star or whatever. And that's where

15:47

most of the appeal comes from originally.

15:49

But he's every movie I see him

15:51

and he's so he's the same. He's the

15:53

same thing in each thing. The Rock. I

15:55

don't even see the thing that he's playing.

15:58

It's just The Rock. 20 million dollars. on

16:00

that we've picked on the rock I didn't mean to

16:02

use him as like hey let's pick on the rock

16:04

hey Kaya we didn't mean to use him as like

16:07

we picked on the rock I meant to point him

16:09

out is like he's you know a triple-a Hollywood celebrity

16:11

who gets paid these rates so if you have a

16:13

handful of them in one movie that's

16:15

where all the money is already going

16:17

and then you have special effects and

16:19

everything else on top of it but

16:21

it's quick to see when you use

16:23

these giant inflated names that already your

16:25

budget's got to be a ridiculous number

16:27

you know yeah yeah I agree I

16:30

agree with your point is kind of what I was

16:32

saying before sorry I got sidetracked by you mentioning the

16:34

rock and I just later focus on that the wrong

16:36

does suck though like he yeah Kyle what do you

16:38

think of the

16:44

rock who's been here the whole episode yeah

16:48

sorry I'm tardy um didn't we already talk

16:50

about the rock sucking didn't black

16:52

Adam turn everybody against him because he didn't want to

16:55

be the bad guy or something mm-hmm yeah

16:57

everyone hates now which is surprising to

16:59

me because I faintly remember

17:01

you guys liking him before that I used

17:04

to yeah I do but I used to

17:06

a while ago loved him as a wrestler

17:08

thought it was cool he started acting and

17:10

then it was because of the

17:12

wrestling right for both of you probably

17:15

yeah that's absolutely

17:17

why I really liked him in rampage that

17:19

was a fun movie well

17:22

the wrestling thing would explain why I have

17:25

no like love for him because I yeah

17:27

I missed in the wrestling stuff what

17:29

Kyle so

17:31

is it just the black Adam stuff that turned

17:34

everyone sour no he's just a massive

17:36

fake douchebag and he plays the same

17:39

role in every movie like it there's

17:41

plenty of reasons not to like the

17:43

rock okay

17:46

fair enough well yeah actually he

17:48

is more he's not

17:50

as he's not more fake than all

17:52

the other celebrities I don't know in

17:54

your face more no I

17:57

feel you're fucking fake ah I

17:59

totally disagree. What does fake

18:01

mean as opposed to who and

18:03

all of them? To give you an

18:05

example, I just made a video on this because it's so

18:07

meaningless but it really got under my skin. So

18:09

he's now three times publicly stated that he's trying

18:12

In-N-Out for the first time on his Instagram page.

18:14

He's like, oh, I'm finally trying In-N-Out for the

18:16

first time ever. It's going to be so fucking

18:18

good. Comes back a couple years later. He's like,

18:20

all right, I've never tried In-N-Out in my life.

18:22

Let's see if it lives up to the hype.

18:24

And then he just did it again last week

18:26

for the third time. He's like, all right, it's

18:28

time I finally try In-N-Out burgers. So he does

18:30

this whole video where he goes through the drive-through

18:32

and it's basically just him getting his dick sucked by everyone

18:34

there. It's like, oh my God, it's the Rock. He's like,

18:36

yep, it's the Rock. Would you say in Spanish, did you

18:38

say I'm handsome? He's all, yeah, you said I'm handsome in

18:40

Spanish, didn't you? He's like, I can't wait to try this

18:43

In-N-Out shit for the first time. He's like, he's just so

18:45

fucking fake. I hate him. I hate

18:48

it. That's absolutely, to my point, what I hate.

18:50

It's like kind of, he knows he's

18:52

the biggest star in the room at any time and

18:54

he like flaunts it. I don't like that kind of

18:56

like attitude. Well, it's more than that

18:58

too. Like he's, he's legitimate. I

19:00

don't think, yeah, I just don't

19:03

think he has any of his own thoughts left

19:05

anymore. He's just PR speaking marketing.

19:08

Yeah, but again, I don't think that's any more,

19:10

I mean, yeah, it's more in your face, but

19:13

I think most actors at that level are probably

19:15

like that. They're just like trotted out

19:17

for whatever their PR team wants them to do.

19:19

Yeah, but the Rock is constant.

19:21

Like even when he was at Jeff Keighley's

19:23

summer game fest, he couldn't go for the

19:26

two minute video. He sent Jeff Keighley without

19:28

mentioning like, have you guys tried my trick

19:30

Zoa? It's like, have you guys been in

19:32

that world yet? That's how

19:35

I feel about people like Taylor Swift's

19:37

words. Like, at what point, like, how

19:39

much of this is still human and

19:41

how much is a, yeah, a boarder

19:43

connection, you know? Yeah, yeah. It's so

19:45

hard to tell what is, and it's, and it's

19:47

crazy because people out there would just eat it

19:49

up as, oh my God, she's

19:52

so real. Cause she's talking

19:54

directly to me. She understands

19:56

my problem. Yeah. No, she's

19:59

me. For real. It's

20:01

all manufactured. Yeah. Who

20:04

would have thought that 16 year old girls

20:07

were impressionable? That's weird. But

20:10

the ruck's not appealing to 20 other 16 year

20:12

old girls. And I don't

20:14

know, 20 something year old dude bros. Whatever

20:17

demographic he's going for. I don't get what his

20:19

demographic is. Like it's restaurant fans that are now

20:21

turned off from him. Why is he so wet?

20:24

20 million dollars. He hasn't even been a wrestler

20:26

in a long time, right? Well

20:28

he still makes appearances but he's still one

20:31

of the best wrestlers ever. He's a grand

20:33

man. He's been grandfathered into having fans there.

20:35

But in general, his social media

20:37

content, I don't know who that's for. I

20:39

really don't know who that's for. Based

20:42

on what I've seen, at the time he just finds

20:44

a locale like a gym or a balcony and he

20:46

takes a selfie video and goes, hey this is the

20:48

rock. And I was just thinking, you

20:51

need to do it. Whatever

20:53

you're struggling with, the rock understands. And that's

20:55

every video he makes. Yeah,

20:57

pretty much. But

21:00

add in a copious amount of

21:02

endorsements. Yeah, obviously underarm tank top

21:05

in frame or his

21:07

energy drink on the counter. Yeah. Every

21:09

time. So like that Jeff Keighley shit is

21:12

so fucking hilarious because I can't remember

21:14

if you mentioned it but he was there

21:16

to promote a different thing. He was promoting

21:18

a movie already. He was there to

21:20

promote a movie. I can't remember. What was

21:22

the movie? It might have been Black

21:24

Adam. It was Black Adam. And then he

21:27

fucking slipped another endorsement into that endorsement or

21:29

advertisement. There's like so many layers of

21:31

endorsements there. Like Zoa

21:34

as well as Black Adam. And

21:36

he couldn't even be bothered to pretend to

21:39

care about gaming at all. Yeah.

21:44

I mean, half of that blame

21:46

goes to fucking Jeff Keighley or their

21:48

team for like paying the 20 million

21:50

dollars or whatever for

21:53

the rock and the show up. For

21:55

that I have no doubt Black Adam marketing budget

21:57

was used to be presented. there because that movie

22:00

was looking like it was shaping up to be

22:02

a flop so they probably paid to be there.

22:05

Yeah, true. You're right. That's

22:08

probably why they were allowed to do the Zoho

22:10

stuff as well, maybe. Oh man,

22:12

I'm scrubbing through this fucking reveal that you

22:15

guys are talking about. The

22:17

Rock goes on for a minute and a

22:19

half of just rambling about

22:21

this movie. It's so

22:23

long, like it just never cuts away. It's

22:25

just a shaky selfie cam of him just

22:27

talking on and on and on. Oh

22:31

man, this is embarrassing. At

22:33

least, so for all Vin Diesel's

22:35

faults, at least I

22:38

can tell he's passionate about his own fucking

22:40

shit. Like

22:43

he does seem really passionate about the,

22:46

what's it called, the Riddick series. Riddick series.

22:48

And Riddick, yeah. Yeah, I feel

22:50

bad for him because there was this one interview,

22:53

which by now I'm sure they've scrubbed off the

22:55

internets with their lasers. It's still there. I already

22:57

know which one you're talking about. Yeah,

23:00

where he said, yeah, man, I'm kind of tired of

23:02

doing Fast and Furious. I'll be honest with you. I

23:04

just want to do Riddick. And

23:07

that was like seven movies ago. The

23:09

poor bastard. I say that, but you

23:12

know, hundreds of millions of dollars. Vin

23:15

Diesel's in some hot water. You

23:17

guys see all the Vin Diesel stuff? No,

23:19

what happened? Is he on Epstein's list? I

23:22

mean, I guess we're about to find out,

23:24

but no, he just got sued for sexual

23:27

battery by a former assistant. Ooh, that's not

23:29

funny. Yeah. Yeah.

23:32

What does that entail? I'm

23:34

not sure. I haven't gone through the lawsuit yet, but

23:37

it's one of his old assistants is

23:39

claiming that she was the victim of sexual battery

23:41

at the hands of Vin Diesel. And she also

23:43

revealed that apparently he had women

23:46

be paid to be around him, so

23:48

he was never seen as a loan

23:50

or something. I can't quite recall now.

23:52

Well, that's just as if you'd

23:54

need to pay women to do that. If

23:56

he's a lawyer, I have no idea. It was just one of the

23:58

positions. Filthy rich. and famous, why

24:01

would you have to pay an entourage to hang

24:03

out? Or maybe it was before he was famous.

24:06

Well, no, no, no, no, he still was famous

24:09

and rich at the time, but it's just one

24:11

of those things where it's supposed to keep up

24:13

appearances, I guess, maybe, but here, I found it.

24:15

The suit describes, uh, Jonason,

24:18

I don't know how to say that

24:21

name, as a recent film school program

24:23

graduate at the time whose job responsibilities

24:25

included organizing parties and accompanying Diesel to

24:27

parties and ensuring that she was in

24:29

close physical proximity to him in case

24:31

photographs were taken of him with women

24:33

when he attends events without his long-time

24:35

girlfriend. So it sounds like he

24:37

had women, like, stand around with him for

24:39

photos if they, like, paparazzi caught him, so

24:41

it looked like he always had women around

24:44

him, I guess. But that's so, he, but

24:46

he's a long-time girlfriend, they just said that.

24:48

If she couldn't be there, though. So it

24:50

made him look like a cheetah. What the fuck is the selling

24:53

point? Yeah, I guess. Also,

24:56

they make this sound so nefarious when it's just

24:58

PR. Like, yeah, middle of making

25:00

him look famous. Well, it is still

25:02

weird. But, I mean, that's not the sexual battery.

25:04

That's just one of the things she describes.

25:07

The sexual battery thing is the issue here. I

25:10

don't have an issue with him paying women to

25:12

be around him for whatever reason. No, like, that's

25:14

not, that's obviously not the core component of the

25:16

lawsuit. Why is it included in that? Why is

25:18

it in that? I don't get why it's in

25:21

there. They just sprinkled that shit on top. No,

25:24

they just make him somewhat nefarious. No,

25:26

what are you talking about? This is how

25:28

she got put in that position where she

25:30

was allegedly the victim of sexual batteries. She's going

25:32

over what her position was, so she had to

25:35

describe what she was doing in close proximity

25:37

to Vin- What the fuck? It's not like

25:39

they just put this in here for no

25:41

reason. I thought you meant, yeah, I

25:43

thought you meant it was like an entirely additional thing

25:45

where she was just describing how he acts towards

25:47

women or whatever. If it's like, oh, she's directly involved

25:49

with her, then yeah, that makes sense to be

25:51

there. It was describing why she was there, like what

25:54

the job was. Yeah,

25:56

that's a-

25:59

How long ago- was this allegedly? It

26:02

was 2010, September 2010. Alright,

26:06

I mean, I'm gonna stay out of it. What

26:10

do you mean, you're not gonna show up and testify? What do you mean stay

26:12

out of it? I

26:14

just, every single time the shit happens, it's like,

26:16

oh, that fucking rapist, and then you find out,

26:18

oh, she was lying or he was lying. It's

26:20

the fucking... Um... The Pirates

26:23

of the Caribbean actor thing again, Amber Heard.

26:25

Oh, yeah. It's like, okay, everyone's gonna

26:27

pick teams here again, aren't they? It's

26:29

gonna be live-screened. I

26:33

don't think people are gonna care that

26:35

much on Twitter about the Vin

26:37

Diesel one. It doesn't have that same kind of impact

26:39

as Johnny Depp. I think this is the only time

26:41

we'll hear about it. Yeah,

26:45

maybe. Car

26:47

fence, fucking man. Who knows? But,

26:49

hopefully, if Vin Diesel actually is

26:51

a sexual battery kinda guy,

26:54

he gets his comeuppance for it.

26:57

Obviously, obviously. No one's saying

26:59

anything against that. What

27:03

kind of statement is that? That's obvious. Hopefully,

27:05

the bad man goes behind bad

27:08

bars if he's... Bad guilty? Bad

27:10

bars? Is he a rapper? I

27:13

think it just needed to be said. Yeah.

27:16

No one's gonna disagree with you

27:19

there. Yeah, what a

27:21

hot take. I

27:24

think justice should be served. Just

27:26

saying. Yeah,

27:28

I think you reacted at all inappropriately with

27:31

those women he hired. He should go to

27:33

jail. There we go. I

27:35

think he should say sorry if he did it. Mm-hmm.

27:39

Ooh. Like, in front of

27:42

the whole class. Yeah. In front of the

27:44

whole court. That has to be his sense. You have to

27:46

say you're sorry. So,

27:49

Kya, we were kinda like mid-discussion when you

27:51

fucking hopped back in here. What

27:54

were you? What happened? I

27:56

switched the route myself. So, today, we wanted to

27:59

record the criminal... I'm a really stupid Jackson. So

28:02

I have a few alarms on my phone that I just, I

28:04

don't make new alarms. I just switch

28:06

around the times on the existing alarm.

28:08

Same. So I took my morning

28:10

alarms and I put them at like, you know,

28:13

four or three or whatever, whenever we decided to

28:15

record. So I didn't have my morning alarms anymore.

28:19

So yeah, kind of made that little mistake there. So

28:21

you just slipped in. Yeah.

28:24

Nothing happens. I just oversupp by 15 minutes. I looked at

28:26

my phone and I was like, why the fuck do I

28:28

have so many notifications? Oh shit. And

28:30

then I jumped up. So

28:33

Charlie, Charlie stayed home

28:35

for new years last night, resting his new tattoo.

28:38

Andrew, did you do anything for new years? I

28:40

had COVID. So, no, again.

28:45

I thought you said it's better now. It

28:47

is, but I'm still, I'm still testing positive.

28:49

Yeah. Is

28:51

that your personality now? Yeah,

28:53

that's my whole state. That's my fun gimmick. 2024,

28:57

it's going to be COVID positive from here on out.

29:00

Maybe. There

29:03

comes COVID Andrew again. Did you

29:05

watch the countdown on TV? No, no.

29:08

I've actually been hitting nostalgia holes real

29:10

hard. I've been watching Marvel versus Capcom

29:13

tournaments. They're just, they're tickling

29:15

me real good lately. People still play the game

29:17

apparently. It's real good. It's

29:19

good shit. I

29:21

do love nostalgia. Oh yeah. That

29:24

game was near and dear to my heart, but no, I'm

29:26

still blowing positive COVID tests. So I've just

29:28

been at home for the last week and

29:30

a half doing fuck all, watching

29:32

the world go by and wondering why I'm not

29:34

there. Fair

29:36

enough. Well, you'll get out there soon.

29:39

I hope. You'll get back up on

29:41

your feet and back out there and

29:43

you'll get COVID again immediately. Yeah. Because

29:45

that's how it goes. How about

29:47

you, Kai? Did you do anything for

29:49

new years? I was

29:51

raising the roof. My wife

29:54

and I stayed home by ourselves and played Baldur's

29:56

Eve. Oh my fucking God. For the midnight. Yeah.

30:00

My New Year's wish Jackson

30:02

this was literally my New Year's wish I told

30:04

my wife that one thing I

30:06

want to stay home I am so tired of

30:09

dinner parties and people I just you

30:11

and me I don't want to hear anyone else

30:13

and that's it and I got my wish yeah and

30:16

it was fun I did

30:19

the opposite I So

30:21

the last seven years I did that basically I stayed in

30:23

every New Year's I was like I'm too cool for New

30:25

Year's I don't want to do it And

30:28

then this year I was like all right. We'll try something

30:30

different. We're gonna go out for New Year's I

30:32

went out and it was the most excruciating fucking

30:35

time of my life. I hated it New Year's

30:37

New Year's out sucks You did make the

30:39

right decision. I would have killed to be

30:42

home playing Baldur's Gate 3

30:44

with my partner Well the fucking

30:46

fireworks and shit was so pathetic first of all

30:48

they were like really wimpy where we were so

30:51

That already sucked, and it was super crowded,

30:54

but that wasn't the issue the issue was we left

30:58

Then we were stuck in standstill traffic because

31:00

there was only only one road out from

31:02

where the fucking event was being held We

31:05

were stuck in standstill traffic for about two

31:07

hours like an hour and

31:09

a half of that time We were literally

31:11

stationary because we were parked at the very back of

31:14

the fucking place So we

31:16

were in the car for an hour and

31:18

a half not moving in on the road

31:20

by the way It wasn't moving like I'm

31:22

not even that's not an exaggeration. We didn't

31:24

move we actually like we

31:26

part An hour and a half in

31:28

we parked the car because we're like this is what

31:30

we're gonna be here until like 3 a.m At this

31:33

point like there's no there's no getting out and

31:35

so we parked the car We were gonna walk to

31:37

a different road somewhere closer like to a bunch of

31:40

other roads to catch an uber or

31:42

something of that You know strategy to get

31:44

out And then just come back

31:46

and pick up the car in the morning So

31:48

we got out we're walking Like

31:51

10 minutes 10 minutes down the

31:53

road or whatever and then the line started moving

31:55

So we had to run back to the car

31:57

to hop back in the line to finally get

31:59

out And so we didn't have to do

32:01

the whole uber thing and we finally got out But yeah,

32:03

it took like two and a half hours

32:05

to get back. It was I'm never doing it again

32:08

ever It

32:10

was it was excursion. What was here? What was here

32:12

like end goal? What were you doing all this for?

32:16

What do you mean like where were you going?

32:20

Home after the New Year's event. This was after

32:22

I thought you were trying to get to New

32:24

Year's. Oh No, no,

32:26

sorry. Yeah, so we were there for the fireworks

32:29

the fireworks happened and then like everyone Obviously,

32:31

so everyone hops in their cars to leave

32:33

at the same time So we thought you

32:36

spend New Year's like actual New Year's in

32:38

your car because you missed what you were

32:40

going to Well, we kind of did I

32:42

mean, but we were out there like for

32:44

the fireworks But yeah, we kind of did

32:46

spend the majority of our new years in

32:48

the car which fucking sucked I'm

32:51

not worth it. I'll take the feel

32:53

anything. Yeah, I'll take the controversial opinion.

32:55

I didn't give a deal anything I don't

32:57

give a shit about fireworks anymore. I really

33:00

don't care. They're just whatever they're

33:02

the same everywhere I just don't care. I

33:04

don't even bother looking they can be cool

33:07

I think the drug the

33:09

drone stuff that they're doing now is pretty fucking cool

33:13

No drones are different cool drones are

33:15

bad at drones They have like coordinated

33:17

shows and little animations and stuff But

33:19

like just actual regular fireworks unless it's

33:21

like, I don't know a

33:23

theme park where I know it's gonna be

33:25

really huge I just don't care. They yeah,

33:27

you know In

33:30

the big cities in the big cities

33:32

The firework displays a pretty next level

33:34

from what I can see on TV

33:36

anyway, but like meh in my local

33:39

region It was like a

33:41

three-minute display maybe of the most wimpiest fucking fireworks

33:43

I think I've ever seen in my life and

33:45

I was like, this is This

33:48

is not worth it. There's no way that

33:50

anyone could think An existential

33:52

crisis. This is all not worth it.

33:54

Nothing 20 24 sucks. Why am I

33:56

here? Yeah,

34:00

it was also raining and stuff and pretty shitty

34:02

weather. So I didn't have a great time. It's

34:04

hard. It's

34:06

like the most depressing time. He

34:09

should have just sat home. Cozy. Yeah. I

34:11

know. Got the cocoa chips, ballers, games.

34:13

I felt so bad because I was

34:15

like, I took my girlfriend

34:18

out for a really nice dinner and stuff.

34:21

She didn't want to go out at all. She was

34:23

like, no, let's just stay home. And I'm like, but

34:25

we do that every year. Let's go out. I really,

34:27

like, I want to do something different. I want to

34:29

go out. And then she's like, oh, fine. We'll go

34:31

out. And then I had

34:33

to look at her while we were sitting in that car

34:36

for an hour and a half. And she

34:38

was so fucking mad at me. I was

34:40

like, yeah, you're right. I'm

34:42

sorry, babe. There's like, this is

34:44

on me. I don't know what

34:47

to say. I'm sorry. Yeah, that's how they get

34:49

you. They make you feel like the entire culture

34:51

just makes you feel FOMO. You think, oh man,

34:53

am I really going to sit home in New

34:55

Year's like a loser? Or am I

34:57

a fucking lonely incel? We got to go out and

35:00

live our life a little, right? It's New Year's. And

35:02

then you find yourself just sitting in that

35:05

car going, this fucking sucks. I

35:07

wish I was home right now. I

35:10

think if we planned it, if I planned

35:12

it better, it was very spontaneous. Like the

35:14

afternoon, I was like, all right, let's go.

35:16

Let's do it. I'm ready. I want to

35:18

see what New Year's is like now. So

35:21

it was very spontaneous. And if we had

35:23

a park somewhere, like even marginally better, we

35:25

probably would have avoided most of the disappointment.

35:28

But still, like at the end of the day, it

35:31

fucking sucked. So never again. Not

35:34

doing that ever again. Well, at least

35:36

you learned your lesson. Yeah. Yeah. You'll

35:40

join us, Jackson. Yeah,

35:43

I'm really surprised at how many fucking

35:45

people there were. Our local region is

35:47

kind of, I mean, it's kind of

35:49

large, but also not, but the beach

35:51

was like completely packed with people. There

35:53

would have been over like 50,000 people

35:56

probably. Maybe that's a bit much, but

35:58

it was packed like you couldn't. You couldn't see any

36:00

like grain of sand on the beach. It was just full

36:03

of people and I

36:06

thought it was gonna be a drone demonstration because

36:09

there were drones flying around in the sky before

36:11

the fireworks and leading up to the fireworks But

36:13

it turns out there were police drones and they

36:15

were just scanning the perimeter like I saw the

36:17

drone fly up and like shine It's fucking high

36:20

beam flashlight directly in some

36:22

kids face So

36:24

they were like patrolling the skies. It

36:27

was pretty crazy. I didn't know that they

36:29

used drones that way Yeah,

36:31

and if you didn't know the cookies drones now,

36:33

yeah I

36:36

live like I live in a small ish area. It just

36:38

seems like an over-the-top use

36:40

of force really. Oh They

36:44

just do it for fun whenever the cops can

36:46

get funding they just go ah we want drones

36:48

no No, not for fun. I mean, you know,

36:50

we're gonna hook it up with like facial recognition

36:52

cameras and whatnot sir So please

36:55

money for drones and other toys. I wouldn't

36:57

be surprised if they get RC cars next Actually,

37:00

you should come to America where instead

37:03

of drones They just get actual tanks

37:06

and they're like yes, we need this for a town

37:08

of a thousand people Why do you ask they

37:10

just drive them around and parade them? I Mean,

37:13

that's pretty cool. It is pretty cool.

37:15

Yeah, that's just that's a more of

37:17

a strong show of force instead of

37:20

like surveillance equipment I feel yeah,

37:22

you should just come to America in general Why

37:25

I? Think you'd see

37:27

a lot of cool stuff. Yeah, we are really

37:29

cool stuff We

37:32

have did yeah like food I've

37:34

been there yeah, but every you

37:36

could go regularly We

37:39

went to Star Wars Disney World or whatever that was

37:41

Disney World Star Wars land or whatever it was kind

37:43

of was the most disappointing By life. That's

37:46

what I think that's the moment Star Wars was

37:48

dead to me I was like to

37:50

probably had something to do with it I

37:53

think about that trip all the time every

37:55

single goddamn week because I will never get

37:57

over as we're walking through Toy Story World

37:59

I saw a woman dying of heat stroke

38:02

and the guy dressed as Woody puts his hands

38:04

on his knees and leans forward and goes, you

38:06

all right? She's just

38:08

on the ground slowly fading away. That

38:12

letter trip when you came Jackson was really,

38:14

well I think this was the second time

38:16

you came. I feel like every

38:18

time you come to America we do our best

38:21

to make sure you end up hating something that

38:23

you previously loved because the second time you came

38:25

we brought you to the Legoland. And

38:29

we bought you the Taj Mahal. The

38:31

Legoland trip was great. The Legoland

38:34

trip was amazing because we were in the car with

38:36

six of us and we kept passing the fucking music

38:38

around and no one cared. And absolutely no one cared

38:40

and I said, all right, if no one cares I'm

38:42

going to choose the music. And I

38:44

just kept putting on the Venga boys we like

38:46

to party over and over and over again in

38:49

like two hours. I

38:51

don't even remember that. I just remember we

38:53

got you the Taj Mahal and you really

38:55

didn't want the Taj Mahal at all. We

38:59

got you the Taj Mahal. Like

39:02

basically when you catch a kid smoking a cigarette and

39:04

it's like you got to smoke the whole pack. We

39:06

made you build the Taj Mahal with me and Matt

39:10

and you've never built Lego since. I

39:14

said this is too large for us. I just want

39:16

to enjoy Lego. I don't want it to be a

39:18

job that when we get back to your house it's

39:21

going to take like eight hours to build this thing

39:23

or collectively. And then we got so bored of it.

39:25

No, the best part of the Taj Mahal is it's

39:27

very, very symmetrical. So the instructions, they

39:30

build this one column that takes 20 minutes. Okay,

39:32

there's four of them. Do it three more times.

39:34

Yeah, it wasn't even symmetrical. It was so repetitive.

39:36

I know we didn't even finish it. Oh man.

39:39

And also you didn't buy me it. You've

39:45

still got it. You bought you it. Well

39:48

here, but I did it for you. I

39:51

beg not to. Yeah,

39:53

but that's because you didn't know what was good for you.

39:56

Why did we choose the Taj Mahal? biggest

40:00

one they had. Oh yeah. It was either

40:02

that or wasn't it between that and the Millennium Falcon

40:04

and we said we would really bring Jackson. What was

40:06

the other one? It was between. They didn't

40:09

have the Falcon. They didn't have that.

40:11

There was another big one. Was it like the

40:13

set of friends or something?

40:15

No, it was Harry Potter. Oh, that was

40:17

Hogwarts Castle. Oh yeah, it would have been

40:19

Castle, yeah. I would have preferred that one.

40:21

It would have been so much cooler. No,

40:23

we thought about it. We said Jackson would

40:25

really appreciate the Taj Mahal over Hogwarts. The

40:28

Taj Mahal had the second most

40:31

pieces. It was like the highest

40:33

age bracket expertise requirements. We're like,

40:35

you gotta do this one. It's

40:37

got historical merit. Legoland

40:39

was a very cool experience though. Outside

40:41

of like that, that building the

40:43

Taj Mahal sucks, but that was at your place.

40:46

So I don't really associate it with Legoland itself.

40:48

Legoland was fun though. Yeah, they

40:51

had a water skiing show. Yeah.

40:53

Yeah. Brickbeard. The

40:56

nefarious outlaw pirate. Yeah. The good

40:58

people of Brick River or whatever.

41:00

And they didn't have the woman

41:02

read her lines. They just played

41:04

a voiceover of it and she

41:06

pretended to say them. It was

41:08

great. It was so

41:10

good. Jackson, so what happens here? Legos

41:13

when you moved, because you moved

41:15

home. Right. Since then. So are

41:18

they all just in boxes? No.

41:20

So I was moving them all, but

41:22

Lego are very fragile. So they all

41:24

just like exploded in the drive over.

41:27

So I was like, I've

41:30

lost all the instructions, first of all. And also second

41:32

of all, like it's too

41:34

much work. So I just donated it all to

41:36

like, um,

41:39

I donated them basically to children. Uh,

41:42

so that they're gone. You just

41:44

take an example. Yeah.

41:46

Any child of the street, I was just throwing bricks

41:48

at them. Um, I, I

41:50

find each brick. I

41:54

didn't want to like start the fucking addiction

41:57

again. And like once, once that's

41:59

happened, one. I'm like it's sapped all fun out

42:01

of it because I spent so much money on

42:03

all those fucking sets like the fucking Star Destroyer Do

42:05

you remember I was sending you progress pictures on

42:07

that Charlie when I was building it Vaguely.

42:11

Yeah, the giant Star Destroyer was like

42:13

enormous. It took me like three weeks to build

42:15

and it was also pretty expensive and

42:19

then that was like three months before I

42:21

moved maybe longer, but I like

42:23

I Boxed

42:25

it all up perfectly like as perfectly as I could

42:27

like a lot of cushion in it And

42:29

as soon as I put it on the

42:32

like the you the utility vehicle to transport

42:34

it over to the new house If

42:36

fucking it just exploded into like a million

42:38

pieces and like my heart sank. It was

42:40

such an awful feeling So

42:43

I'm never doing Lego again just on the off chance.

42:45

I don't know We need technology to

42:47

prevent this from happening that needs to be do

42:49

people like collectors just like super glue the pieces

42:51

together They have to that

42:53

has to be it. I don't know. I don't know. What

42:56

do you need like? Packing peanuts

42:59

Wow, how would you why does it get

43:01

jostled around so much? Well, this is

43:04

like the connections between these larger pieces are

43:06

just so Fickle that

43:08

they just usually break anyway, if you move them

43:10

at all They're more like just like

43:12

put them on a display case and never touch it

43:14

again kind of shit for the

43:16

bigger pieces anyway So I was expecting

43:19

it to break truthfully, but it still hurt when

43:21

it did Anyway,

43:23

that's why I stopped Hmm

43:26

Charlie. Do you remember that Legoland trip?

43:29

We took your dad's car and

43:31

you refused to use the Sunpass the automatic

43:33

tolls just to make the trip take longer

43:35

So we had to stop at each individual

43:38

toll booth so you could throw coins into

43:40

the machine But that

43:42

was a cool experience for me as well. No, it's a

43:44

funny. Yeah, I don't remember why I don't remember why I

43:46

did that But I don't

43:49

know that for each and every toll on boy

43:54

Myer and it's pretty cool and we had

43:56

to find somewhere to eat and

43:58

we went into the pizza restaurant And we

44:00

looked at it and said, no, fuck this. Yeah,

44:03

that food was, that food looked bad. The

44:05

food, there was a goddamn nightmare zone. I

44:07

think we eventually settled on paninis. In

44:10

like this fucking hole in the wall in the corner. Legoland

44:14

was great. We ate at Legoland. We did. Yeah,

44:16

we did. That's what we did. Yeah.

44:19

We had like a cafeteria style ham and cheese.

44:21

It was great. Yep. It

44:24

was pretty cool. I like, I was like, I

44:26

think the price of admission for Legoland was like

44:28

pretty reasonable as well, from what I remember. It

44:31

wasn't like exorbitant, like Disneyland

44:33

prices. I could be wrong, but

44:35

I don't, I don't remember. Was that where

44:37

they had a roller coaster and the wait was two and

44:40

a half hours for

44:42

like a little baby roller coaster? We were like the only ones

44:44

there. I don't, I don't think there was a long wait for

44:46

any of them. I think if there was any not like

44:49

available, it was because they weren't working. But

44:53

I also don't remember going on any rides at

44:55

Legoland. Yeah. They, I don't

44:57

think we did. I think they had a roller

44:59

coaster that we were too tall for and the

45:01

line was really long anyway. Oh, that was, that was

45:04

actually one of the things. Yeah. You were, you were

45:06

too tall for one of the rides. I don't remember

45:08

what they were all for the roller coaster. Yeah. Oh,

45:12

what a shame. That sounds about right. There was a,

45:14

wasn't that like a basketball game or something? Some kind

45:16

of, there was a hang on the, yeah. We

45:21

kept hearing that while we were waiting for something. Yep.

45:27

What have you replaced? Have

45:29

you filled the hole with anything Jackson? Uh,

45:33

no, not really. I haven't been collecting anything lately.

45:36

I would like to start again, but I just

45:38

don't know what would replace that

45:40

kind of necessarily collecting just like binging

45:43

anything because you have now like a

45:45

Jurassic park star Wars Lego shaped hole

45:47

in your soul. Yeah.

45:49

No, those, those, everything that was like

45:51

really formative in terms of my personality

45:53

over the last year has just slowly

45:56

been sapped away and now there's nothing

45:58

there. I don't. don't think

46:00

anything's replaced them. Hmm.

46:04

That's kinda sad. Yeah. Well

46:06

what, you guys were, you guys should be

46:08

happy. You guys were aiming for that. Also,

46:10

Jurassic Park fucking sucks now. Jurassic

46:13

Park sucks. Star Wars fucking sucks. Lego,

46:16

I mean, it's no fault

46:18

to Lego really. It's just kind of like, I don't

46:20

want to go through that process again. You finally grew

46:22

up, yeah. It's

46:24

not, it's not growing up. Lego

46:27

bricks are for adults, as well. I

46:31

just don't have anything else. Taxes.

46:34

Mortgage. Yeah. Home improvement.

46:37

Fun adult things. Fun improving the place.

46:39

Yeah. I

46:42

need to think of clogged again. Cleaning

46:44

up the living room for company. Let's

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show. Thank you so much. Now

48:36

back to the goofy shit we were talking about. I

48:39

honestly think 2023 has been the happiest I've been

48:41

in the last 13 years though, maybe like

48:46

10 years at least. I

48:48

don't know. It felt like a good year and

48:50

I felt like I enjoyed myself a lot doing a lot of cool

48:53

things. That

48:55

was without Star Wars Lego and Jurassic Park.

48:58

So maybe it's good. Is

49:01

it because of all the Assassin's Creed you played? I

49:05

didn't play a single Assassin's Creed game last year. That's

49:08

gotta have a huge role to play in your

49:10

happiness then. Yeah,

49:12

it's definitely got some part.

49:14

I mean also I only played good

49:16

games last year. I didn't play much

49:18

Destiny 2 at all last year. I

49:21

stopped after Lightfall because Lightfall sucked so

49:23

bad. I was like, this is kind

49:25

of dead to me now. And I

49:27

really have not touched it that much at all.

49:29

I think I logged on once to play a

49:31

new dungeon, which is like an endgame kind of...

49:34

They're kind of good. I logged on

49:36

to play that once and then I uninstalled the game

49:38

after I had finished the dungeon once. So

49:42

that's it. That's the one

49:44

that you know about. Yeah, that's the only one

49:46

I really know about and that's the most embarrassing

49:48

thing I've seen in a video game in probably

49:50

the last decade. Like Jesus Christ. Jackson,

49:54

you know what you should do? What?

49:56

Keep up statistics like this stinky girl on

49:59

Twitter. Should we turn this into

50:01

a tradition reading her statistics? Have you guys

50:03

seen this, any of you? Oh, is it

50:05

the same girl who only showered like three

50:08

times in a year? Yes, Aella Ayaia. I

50:10

don't know how to say that, but she...

50:13

Last year we read her stats and it was kind of gross

50:15

because she would have sex like 200 times,

50:17

but only shower five times a

50:19

month max. She

50:22

has released her 2023 statistics. So

50:26

went outside 248 times. It's

50:29

decent, socialized 171 times. Pooped

50:32

192 times. So

50:34

she goes a lot of days without pooping, I guess. Yeah,

50:37

that's shockingly low. Is

50:39

it? Yeah. I

50:42

poop like once every two days, maybe. Brother,

50:44

I pooped three times yesterday. Yeah.

50:47

Wait, you shit three times a day? Well,

50:50

it's not like the average, but I

50:53

eat a very healthy fiber filled diet. I'm

50:55

shitting at least once, maybe twice a day

50:57

even. Hmm.

51:01

All right. Anyway, it worked 162

51:03

days and I think she's a prostitute. I

51:07

don't know what else she does. All I know is that she

51:09

bragged about being a prostitute at some point. Took

51:11

a stimulant 71 times, drank alcohol 121 times, danced

51:13

65 times, had sex 39 times, and

51:19

then cried 55 times, wrote 38 times, which

51:22

I think 55 times is a

51:24

lot. 55

51:29

times? I imagine that's

51:31

days crying. She cried

51:33

that day. Oh, right. Yeah.

51:36

Well, yeah, that's what she means. Right. Yeah,

51:38

that's a lot. Games,

51:40

so many times. But girls are always saying that

51:42

they cry a lot. They

51:46

can cry over extremely minor things,

51:48

like a movie or a

51:52

cute puppy. Yeah, maybe she got a new

51:54

cute puppy and she's crying with excitement. It

51:56

could be happy crying. Yeah, it could be

51:58

a lot of... different

52:00

things. Maybe she

52:02

finally pooped that day and she just

52:04

let it all out. She's so thankful.

52:07

Or maybe it was one of the 37 times

52:10

she finally showered, which is like almost

52:13

an average once every 10 days, I

52:15

think. Is

52:17

that more or less than last time? It's

52:20

exactly the same. Was

52:23

sick, ate, balled seven times. I don't know what

52:26

the difference is between that and crying. That's

52:29

a big cry. I

52:32

guess. Why even differentiate though? So

52:36

yeah, she's still gross. Still doesn't shower much.

52:39

Once every 10 days is so gross.

52:42

Yeah, I feel gross if I don't shower once.

52:45

I can push it to two days. I can take

52:47

a day off from showering

52:49

and not feel bad, but if it goes beyond

52:51

two days, then it's like, what am I doing? Yeah,

52:55

you have the exception of like when you're traveling and you

52:57

just don't have the opportunity. But at the end of the

52:59

day, when you do get home or to a hotel,

53:01

you feel nasty. You just want to wash off all that

53:03

stink. Yeah, exactly. And the crying. That's

53:06

what I was saying. We were talking about this in

53:08

the Patreon chat beforehand, and I was like, I don't

53:10

know how you could do that while

53:13

feeling like you have all the like fucking

53:15

just dirty energy all over you, not to

53:17

sound like a TikTok influencer

53:20

or something. But like, I genuinely do

53:22

feel like gross if I

53:25

get home and I haven't like showered. Oh, yeah, for

53:27

sure. If I've got all the days like

53:29

stink on me. Mm hmm. Mm

53:31

hmm. I like getting in the bed all

53:33

clean. Like I... Yeah.

53:36

There's got to be some level of clean before

53:38

I can feel comfortable getting in my bed because

53:40

I want my bed to stay clean. Yeah. Yeah.

53:43

It's also like... How do you want to feel clean?

53:45

It's also therapeutic in a way as well. Like

53:48

it's like a

53:50

relaxing time hopping in the shower, feeling

53:52

some nice warm water run over you.

53:56

Yeah, maybe that's why she cries so much. She's

54:00

stinky. The fumes make

54:02

her eyes water. She doesn't know what to do about it.

54:05

She just suffers. No,

54:09

I don't even know if she suffers or if she's

54:11

like Spongebob in that episode where he can't smell his

54:13

own breath, but everything else is decaying

54:15

around him every time he speaks. So

54:18

now she just thinks she's super ugly because she

54:20

doesn't realize that she is stinky breath. And

54:24

she has the best friend going like,

54:26

no, you're not ugly. You're just special.

54:28

She knows the story of the ugly

54:30

monitor for pizza

54:33

to herself, like a mantra. I

54:37

kind of want to keep statistics like this, but

54:39

I do know that I would get bored almost

54:41

immediately. Yeah. It is

54:44

an impressive level of stat keeping, to

54:46

be honest. It

54:48

is to have to do this manually. Yeah.

54:52

I mean, she could just be making it up. Speaking

54:55

of stinky things, and I was meant to bring this

54:57

up before when I was talking about New Year's, but

54:59

I saw some videos of the New York, the

55:03

New York Countdown, or what the fuck it's called, the

55:06

New Year's event at New York. The mall drop.

55:10

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But this was

55:12

the day before. Like they go crazy in

55:14

New York. They line up for like, yeah,

55:16

they love it. People have

55:18

to wear, people wear adult diapers because they just

55:20

can't leave. That's what I was going to fucking

55:22

say. Yeah, get fucked. They're literally standing at the

55:25

gates for like 12 hours wearing diapers just to

55:27

be let in so that they can get a

55:29

spot for the ball drop. The

55:32

day before, like they camp out, standing

55:34

there in their diapers. It is actually,

55:36

that fucking ball drop must be the

55:39

smelliest fucking situation known to mankind. Why

55:41

would you ever go there if it just smells like shit

55:44

everywhere? Because it's New York, so they're used

55:46

to it. Yeah, it's actually

55:48

just New York. They probably don't even know if it's

55:50

like someone pooping their pants next to them or just

55:52

the normal city smell. I would bet half the people

55:54

there go, oh, it's New Year's. Oh, I

55:56

didn't see anything different. This is just how it

55:58

is. In the

56:01

video everyone walking into the fucking like

56:03

area for the for the ball drop

56:06

They were carrying diapers like they were all

56:09

of them were Man, because they're

56:11

stuck like you can't you can't physically

56:13

move once you find your spot there.

56:16

It's just so cramped with people Yeah

56:20

It's like being stuck in a car for an hour

56:23

and a half without moving but doing it in person

56:25

and actually for like 16 hours

56:27

wearing a diaper. I don't understand why

56:29

you would ever do that What's

56:31

so impressive about being in New York for

56:33

the ball drop people are fucking weird to

56:36

me man where they? want

56:38

experiences even though Like

56:42

they want the title of an experience not

56:44

the actual experience another great example they want

56:46

to be able to say they did it

56:48

Yeah Another great example

56:50

of that is Mount Everest Like

56:53

a lot of people now climb Mount

56:55

Everest a lot to the point where

56:57

they have fucking trail markers and basically

56:59

like Man-made staircases to the

57:02

top and back down you kind of

57:04

just single fire your way up to

57:06

the fucking peak and people

57:08

still do it Even though it's not a

57:10

thing anymore. It just is like

57:12

oh you did it. Congrats. Wait, wait, wait walked up

57:16

Well, I was talking about ever. This is a

57:18

bit more than just walking up. It's still an

57:20

accomplishment Okay, it is but

57:22

it's not nearly what it used to be of

57:24

scaling it on your own and figuring out the

57:26

path and actually Traversing the mountain now

57:29

you have Sherpas that basically tell you how to get

57:31

all the way up We're

57:33

comparing climbing like even if you

57:35

you're being told how to do

57:37

it We're comparing climbing the tallest

57:39

mountain on earth to

57:42

standing All the work of

57:44

pooping your pants. Yeah It's

57:48

so vastly different But the point is that

57:50

there's things that people say there people say

57:52

oh, this is what I did This is

57:54

something I did but it to me that's

57:56

not you didn't really because the experience is

57:58

just You know

58:00

what I mean? It's so overdone now

58:02

and so filled with people and so

58:04

solved that the experience sucks ass. If

58:06

you went to the New York... If

58:09

you went to the New York ball job... People still

58:11

die on Mount Everest, by the way. People still die

58:13

up there. Yeah, it still happens quite a bit. I

58:15

would compare it more to something like getting

58:18

a Billie Eilish shoes that you waited in

58:20

line for for six hours or something, right?

58:22

Yeah, or a new iPhone release. That's

58:24

another one. Yeah, I'd compare

58:26

it much more to that than climbing

58:29

Mount Everest. I

58:31

don't think the actual achievement is what

58:33

matters. I'm saying these are experiences that

58:35

are so ubiquitous in culture. Everyone knows

58:38

that there's nothing special to it anymore.

58:43

It's nice that you did it, but

58:45

you could find something so much more meaningful

58:48

of an experience instead of just checking it off a

58:50

list. You know what I mean? Well,

58:53

but okay, sure. Everyone's...

58:55

Not everyone, but a

58:58

lot of people... More people now

59:00

have climbed Mount Everest than ever

59:02

before. Sure. I still feel like

59:04

it's an incredible feat, though, to

59:06

climb that mountain. None of us

59:09

could do it. I can guarantee you that. If

59:12

you have the money, you can. Why do you say that?

59:14

Yeah. I think Andrew's

59:16

whole point was that it's not this exploration trailblazing

59:19

anymore. You buy your ticket, then you go, and

59:21

people show you where to walk up, and you

59:23

go. It is tedious, no

59:25

doubt. The weather sucks. You're

59:28

carrying... Got so many pounds of equipment. It

59:30

is difficult, but it's not

59:32

like you're breaking new ground here. You're just number

59:35

47,000s in line. Yeah. Walking

59:39

up the mountain to take a selfie and come down. Right.

59:42

I think if they're doing it to post

59:44

an Instagram thing, then it's comparable. Okay, I

59:46

have another one. They actually think that it's

59:49

important. I have another one that I just

59:51

thought of that's an even better example. The

59:53

leading tower of Pisa. It's

59:55

like going there and pretending to hold the

59:57

tower up for a photo. It's

1:00:00

just things where you're just like

1:00:02

this is nothing This is

1:00:04

just actually nothing except you going I

1:00:07

did that too. The New

1:00:09

York ball drops the tower pieces Like these are just

1:00:12

they're so played out and

1:00:14

so just whatever by this point, you

1:00:16

know Come up with something more interesting

1:00:18

do something more More

1:00:20

anything more personal, you know what

1:00:22

I'm saying? Yeah That's

1:00:25

the kind of shit I'm talking like I get your point

1:00:27

and I agree with the Pisa and

1:00:29

the fucking New Year's event. But

1:00:31

again, I was just like Ever

1:00:34

since it's a big thing. Okay ever ever

1:00:36

is something more to it fair. Okay fair

1:00:39

It was the first example I came up

1:00:41

with off the top of my head But

1:00:43

you know iPhone launch Billy Isla shoes leaning

1:00:45

tower in New York ball drop all these

1:00:47

experiences where all you do is Get in

1:00:49

the crowd and just do what everyone else

1:00:51

is doing and then say I did that

1:00:54

They're just nothing, you know I

1:00:56

think your original point was like really accurate

1:00:59

that people can more about the title

1:01:01

of the experience. Yeah experience itself. Yes That

1:01:05

is exactly it where people because you

1:01:07

talk about it on the surface and they go I

1:01:09

went to the ball drop in New York I was

1:01:11

there. I was in Times Square But then when you

1:01:14

finally sit down and go so tell me about your

1:01:16

trip They go all I had to wear diapers and

1:01:18

I stood in a crowd for a day and a

1:01:20

half That's not that sucks that's not exciting or cool

1:01:23

That's garbage. You're supposed to leave that part

1:01:25

out of the story when you tell

1:01:27

it That's when you have

1:01:29

to embellish it a bit. All they ever

1:01:31

say is oh, I was at the ball I was at

1:01:33

the ball drop. Look at that. It's so cool, but it's

1:01:35

not it's a shitty experience. We need to We

1:01:39

have to stop perpetuating that these things are cool.

1:01:41

They're not cool. They're lame. It's okay Here's how

1:01:43

we do it. Shitting your pants with diapers has

1:01:45

never been cool. Let's know Like

1:01:49

But the ball drop is cool to people because they leave

1:01:51

that part out they don't talk about that part We

1:01:54

need to start talking about that part. We need

1:01:56

to make that a problem How

1:01:59

does it look when they do? Midnight kisses by the

1:02:01

way like everyone's kissing stuff while they

1:02:03

just fucking filter the brim with oh,

1:02:05

yeah But

1:02:10

consider this how many of those people are

1:02:13

like covert undercover furries who just like shitting

1:02:15

their pants and they're just Excuse

1:02:17

like oh, yeah, you guys here for the ball

1:02:19

drop. Haha. Yeah me too Parts

1:02:23

people crinkling in the crowd there

1:02:25

only possible Oh That

1:02:34

does sound disgusting yeah Literally

1:02:37

shoot me if I ever have to put

1:02:39

a diaper on what's wrong with wearing diapers? Oh

1:02:43

everything the act is just Has

1:02:46

got to be so like humiliating to

1:02:48

yourself as a person But

1:02:51

what if it's for reasons that are not really in

1:02:53

you like Let's say you get into an accident and

1:02:55

your legs don't work for a while You have to

1:02:57

go through rehab, but you also keep shitting yourself. So

1:02:59

you're wearing diapers. Should we still put you down?

1:03:02

Can't you get like a tube or something? Is there

1:03:04

some kind of way to get it out without wearing

1:03:06

a diaper? To vacuum

1:03:09

it out of your ass. I don't know Yeah,

1:03:12

something I feel like if you're paralyzed

1:03:14

from the waist down you wouldn't even know when you're shitting

1:03:16

So I think you have to wear a diaper, right? Just

1:03:19

leak out of you. It's gonna

1:03:21

be so fucking awful Yeah,

1:03:26

say that like it's actually gonna happen We

1:03:31

have a date set that's going to suck I

1:03:35

Mean don't most old people end up

1:03:37

wearing diapers. I feel like it's

1:03:39

a probability To

1:03:41

pot. Well, I don't know how likely

1:03:44

it is I just that's that's gonna

1:03:46

kill me when that if that day comes or

1:03:48

when that day comes it's gonna kill me Don't

1:03:51

you think you'd be too old by that point to care? Maybe

1:03:58

Maybe oh, maybe oh, I don't know learn

1:04:00

to love it. Yeah. Yeah,

1:04:02

maybe you'll come around. Yeah. You

1:04:05

can go finally see the New York ball drop.

1:04:07

Yeah, you get to poop in front of people.

1:04:09

Like you could just be in a crowd and

1:04:11

take a shit and it'd be fine. How

1:04:15

do divers work? Like do they

1:04:18

absorb it or does it just like smear the

1:04:20

shit up against your backside? That's right. It compresses

1:04:22

it hard against your flesh so it can go

1:04:25

as far as possible Jackson. No,

1:04:28

I'm serious. I don't know how they work. Does it like... I

1:04:31

don't think it compresses it. Isn't

1:04:34

it just basically a poop hammock? They

1:04:36

just keep it poop there. Yeah, that's what I thought. I'm

1:04:38

Googling. Don't google

1:04:40

it. Don't google it. I think it

1:04:42

just absorbs the moisture but that's also why you constantly

1:04:44

have to change your baby's diapers so they don't get

1:04:47

a rash from the poop. Yeah,

1:04:49

exactly. This is also... I just

1:04:51

Googled how does a diaper stop poop as

1:04:54

if it was like some kind of

1:04:56

raid boss. The number one article from

1:04:58

Pampers says how to reduce baby diaper blowout.

1:05:04

Is that when it just like the poop

1:05:06

explodes from all sides? Yeah, I

1:05:08

guess it's called a blowout if it like compresses

1:05:10

against your flesh and like leaks out. It's

1:05:12

like a mechanical term. Like it's

1:05:14

a fucking car. Insider terms for

1:05:17

diapers. Blowout.

1:05:19

Yeah, that's a technical... The medical

1:05:21

term is blowout. You're

1:05:23

gonna have to take your diaper in

1:05:25

for maintenance and shit like this. We

1:05:30

should have like how you have auto garages. We

1:05:32

should have like diaper changing garages that you can

1:05:34

just stop on the road. Be like,

1:05:36

oh, it happened again. Gotta blow out. They're in

1:05:39

every public bathroom ever. No, I want a person

1:05:41

to do it for me. Like a... Like a...

1:05:44

Like a fast food of diaper changing. You're a

1:05:46

pervert. Yeah, yeah.

1:05:48

He wants diaper mechanics. Yeah, I want diaper

1:05:50

McDonalds. I'll

1:05:54

have a extra absorbent and let me get

1:05:56

some tampons for the road. Why

1:05:59

not? I got a long

1:06:02

drive ahead. Just

1:06:07

really fucking stop the dam, if

1:06:09

you will. I

1:06:12

have a question for you guys. I was actually thinking about this

1:06:14

last night and I think this is relevant to this kind of

1:06:16

concept. It's like a hypothetical question.

1:06:18

I was thinking about teleportation, right? Just

1:06:20

as a means of transport. Sure. It's

1:06:23

fucking awesome and we need to get

1:06:25

there. I was thinking, okay, so would

1:06:27

you guys teleport? Would you continue

1:06:29

to teleport if in order to

1:06:31

do it, you had to smear yourself with

1:06:34

shit? Like cover yourself with

1:06:36

shit? Just for the

1:06:39

act of teleportation to happen. How much?

1:06:41

Yes. Like, I'm

1:06:44

gonna go all over your body.

1:06:46

You're gonna cover it with shit. Okay,

1:06:49

so it doesn't count if I just smear

1:06:51

a little mark on my wrist or something

1:06:53

just for the ritual? No. Your

1:06:56

body covered in shit? Yes. You

1:06:58

can leave your eyes, but it's gonna like... Thank

1:07:01

you. Jeez, how generous. It's

1:07:04

like they found like shit has

1:07:06

a protective element against time violations

1:07:09

or something. You just

1:07:11

cover your entire body. Well,

1:07:13

then your eyes are gonna pop out in the

1:07:15

process. You have to cover them. Maybe

1:07:18

with shit goggles. Eyes

1:07:21

aren't affected for some reason, I don't

1:07:23

know. But yeah, so... Okay, great mask.

1:07:25

All right, Einstein. I

1:07:29

don't know if I trust

1:07:31

a physicist. So

1:07:35

would you guys still do it if you had to like

1:07:37

cover yourself with shit? Yes, in a heartbeat. You still do

1:07:39

it. You just teleport straight to

1:07:41

a shower. Well,

1:07:44

no, but you teleport like in front of people

1:07:46

and you're just all smelling it. No, you teleport

1:07:48

into a shower. I don't wanna teleport into people,

1:07:50

Jackson. I wanna teleport into a bank vault and

1:07:52

out of it again. That's easy.

1:07:54

That's just like fucking toys. I don't

1:07:56

care. Just leaving big squelchy shit footprints

1:07:59

in the city. Oh,

1:08:02

that's true you how is

1:08:04

covering yourself in shit an easy choice Because

1:08:07

it's telling the dollars Yes,

1:08:10

like power. I'm a god now. I

1:08:12

don't care like poop. I can't

1:08:14

just rinse that off Oh, but no, but

1:08:16

you're not the only one with the power. Everyone is able to

1:08:19

do it What

1:08:21

the fuck I have laws against it and

1:08:23

like overnight that doesn't make any sense I

1:08:25

thought I'm the only one that has Jackson

1:08:27

you just want random people covered in shit

1:08:29

to start appearing in random places on earth.

1:08:31

I Don't

1:08:33

want anything But also for your example Kai

1:08:35

you you clearly want it for like the

1:08:37

nefarious purposes of like going to bank vaults

1:08:40

in this in this hypothetical world they've created

1:08:42

technology to like zone off areas from

1:08:45

like From poop. It's

1:08:47

fucking useless, isn't it? Well,

1:08:49

no, it's it's useful for like getting over

1:08:51

to America easily for me You're

1:08:56

just proposing Shit showers

1:08:58

as a alternative to airlines. I think

1:09:01

actually yeah shit shower. I guess yeah

1:09:03

you would get so there we go

1:09:05

It's a by airlines. That's

1:09:07

my hypothetical though. It's more of an interesting

1:09:09

thing then because you're like you're either giving

1:09:11

up You're either

1:09:13

you either have to give up instantaneous

1:09:15

teleportation Or you have

1:09:17

to like sit on a plane for you know,

1:09:20

12 hours or whatever. So cover yourself in shit.

1:09:22

I'll do that Which one? shit

1:09:27

So shit, huh? Yeah,

1:09:30

cuz I mean Okay, who's providing

1:09:32

the shit cuz and like

1:09:34

how thick does layer have to be but yeah

1:09:36

I could just reach into the toilet cover myself

1:09:39

and shit teleport and then the shower for like

1:09:41

10 minutes Or even half an hour

1:09:43

who cares the memory of being covered in shit It's

1:09:47

not dramatic as to what fucking poop It's what

1:09:49

do you mean? It's not dramatic. Jackson. Oh, no

1:09:53

How is being covered from

1:09:55

head to toe in shit not traumatic? Unpleasant,

1:09:58

but it's still beats being on a fucking

1:10:00

plane and dealing with airline. Have you ever

1:10:02

rolled around in the mud? Just

1:10:04

imagine that but stinky. Wow, oh

1:10:07

no. The mud is so much more different. Oh

1:10:09

boo. What is wrong with you? It's way

1:10:11

worse than mud. It's not

1:10:13

way worse than mud actually. It is. It

1:10:16

is. It is. It can't be your butt. No,

1:10:19

in mud you'll probably end up contracting like

1:10:21

some kind of like like a fucking round

1:10:23

worm or something potentially I don't know but

1:10:25

like at least it's your own poop so

1:10:27

it came out of your own fucking stink

1:10:29

factory. Okay, okay. So all right, all right.

1:10:31

For my teleportation experiment or whatever, you've got

1:10:33

to cover yourself in mud entirely from feet

1:10:35

to head or you got to cover

1:10:37

yourself in shit from feet to head. Which one do

1:10:39

you choose? I do mud. Yeah, I do mud. What

1:10:45

are you... What?

1:10:47

Wait, you're saying you would choose mud? Yeah,

1:10:49

I'd choose the mud. Oh yeah, okay. That proves my

1:10:52

point then. Well you would

1:10:54

only predetermined I said poop and you reacted to

1:10:56

that and I said mud. Why did you jump

1:10:58

on him? I heard

1:11:01

what I wanted to hear. Never mind, you agreed with me.

1:11:03

That's fine. So I

1:11:05

don't know where I was going with the point anyway but so

1:11:07

I was right. I

1:11:11

don't know what your point was. You have to

1:11:13

smear yourself in shit but also you can't rob

1:11:15

bangs or have fun with it. Yeah, Jackson, it's just

1:11:17

like every time Kaya goes, yes

1:11:19

I do it because I do this, you go, well you can't

1:11:21

do that. Would you still cover yourself

1:11:24

in poop or feet? Because that wasn't the

1:11:26

part of the hypothetical. I was more about

1:11:29

circumventing flights, like

1:11:32

travel time instead of robbing banks

1:11:34

and stuff. I wanted to focus

1:11:36

on that part. You

1:11:39

can't dangle teleportation in front of us like

1:11:41

that. So you can only teleport to places

1:11:44

you could fly. So I can only teleport

1:11:46

between airports. Is

1:11:48

that what you're saying? You can

1:11:50

teleport anywhere that the government hasn't set up

1:11:52

an anti-poop teleport. Like they coat the bank

1:11:54

vaults and a special type of

1:11:56

poop that counters the poop that you

1:11:58

use. I would

1:12:00

teleport inside of your asshole and explode

1:12:02

you like a meat suit. My

1:12:05

nemesis poop. That's

1:12:07

not nice. So Jackson, again, most people would

1:12:09

take that deal, I think. It

1:12:11

would be different if I

1:12:13

covered myself in shits just to, you

1:12:15

know, dodge like a 10-minute walk. That's

1:12:18

where you go, oh, Kai, you did this just

1:12:20

so you didn't have to walk to the grocery

1:12:22

store. That's a little suspicious. But

1:12:24

if I'm teleporting to the other end of the world, that

1:12:28

saves me so much time. Think

1:12:30

larger scale. It's not one poop per teleport,

1:12:32

right? So if you cover yourself in poop

1:12:34

at the beginning of the day, you can

1:12:36

teleport unlimited times throughout the day. Yeah. But

1:12:38

you still covered in poop through the entire

1:12:40

day. Yeah, but you can also

1:12:43

teleport endlessly. Yeah, but you're

1:12:46

gonna have to be around other people. Why

1:12:48

are you guys so fine with having poop on you?

1:12:50

Because you can wash it off. It's

1:12:53

not that big of a fucking deal. Yeah, wash it

1:12:55

off. So you, all the people that I thought were

1:12:58

gonna be on my side, it would be you, Charlie.

1:13:00

How much of a germaphobe you are. I'm

1:13:03

not a germaphobe, I'm a hypochondriac. Germs don't

1:13:05

bother me that much. It's just what germs

1:13:07

bring that bother me. Okay,

1:13:09

fair enough. So would you have a different, like,

1:13:12

would you be against this if you had to put other people's poop

1:13:14

on you? Yeah, then at

1:13:16

that point, then I'd have a very hard time

1:13:18

with it, for sure. Right,

1:13:20

so what if, like, a certain amount

1:13:22

of it had to be, like, a

1:13:25

special government-made poop? Like, they've got teleportation,

1:13:27

human- Oh, well, the FDA approved shit

1:13:29

that I'm trying to make. A happy

1:13:31

patty formula? Yeah. I

1:13:34

was actually gonna say, other

1:13:36

people's poop might be preferable if you're robbing

1:13:38

the bank, because you don't want to leave

1:13:40

your own poop for DNA evidence. Yeah, there's

1:13:42

no- Yeah, there's no friendship. They're gonna think

1:13:44

you're covered in your own poop, that's how

1:13:46

you trick them. You get the forensics confused.

1:13:48

Mm-hmm. Oh, yeah, he must have

1:13:51

got his teleportation method from this

1:13:53

physicist that really likes scat-fed-a-shit. It's

1:13:56

all adding up now. Doesn't

1:14:00

he know he can just use Coca-Cola? We

1:14:05

have this special suit just for this purpose, it's also

1:14:07

really comfortable but he's still using the poop method I

1:14:14

also wonder how this would change like

1:14:16

geopolitical stuff Like if armies could just

1:14:18

invade other countries by smearing themselves with

1:14:20

poop and then you've just got poop

1:14:22

warriors That's what I'm putting in the

1:14:24

country This is all about

1:14:26

Jackson you just wanted to pitch your pilot

1:14:28

for poop warriors the new adult swim cartoon

1:14:32

Finally comes out Yeah,

1:14:35

I wouldn't I think I

1:14:37

would still choose to travel via air I

1:14:39

don't think I'd be able to cover myself

1:14:41

in shit just to teleport somewhere. Can I

1:14:43

bring stuff with me? You

1:14:46

can bring poop with you can I bring

1:14:48

like if I touch something can I bring it with

1:14:51

me when I teleport No

1:14:55

What if he covers it in shit, why

1:14:58

couldn't he yeah, why couldn't he bring My

1:15:01

wallet up my ass would that come with me? Okay,

1:15:05

yeah, you could you could shove it you could

1:15:07

cover this stuff in shit and that'll let it

1:15:09

come as long as the passing Like oh, yeah,

1:15:11

as long as the shit is all connected done

1:15:13

deal, man. I take a I take on my

1:15:15

credit card I shit on that I

1:15:17

travel with it. I get in the shower I

1:15:19

wash everything off and I just buy a new

1:15:21

set of clothes and whatever I need and I'm

1:15:23

on a free vacation after that Sort

1:15:26

of free vacation you paid for no

1:15:28

airfare. No waiting travel time. No anything

1:15:30

you just there Okay, Jackson point is

1:15:32

like going to the bank vault and

1:15:35

I smear all the gold bars. Okay,

1:15:37

fucking good There's

1:15:39

no bank. They've set up When

1:15:44

you say teleportation, that's what people are gonna use it

1:15:46

for Yeah, but I've said

1:15:48

the government in this world has decided that

1:15:50

they're gonna like save all the bank vaults

1:15:52

and protect it in anti Shit matter that

1:15:55

doesn't let shit pass through so there's no teleporting

1:15:57

in there or

1:15:59

maybe there's like a special formula I can

1:16:01

use of mixing dog poo and human poo

1:16:04

and chimpanzee poo that lets me face through

1:16:06

it. Like the flash, I don't know. What

1:16:10

if you're gonna like travel with your girlfriend or

1:16:12

whatever, then you both gonna be covered in shit

1:16:14

to go together? You gonna make her fly on

1:16:17

a plane? I

1:16:19

mean, she could still take the plane, if

1:16:21

that's what she chooses. She can teleport onto

1:16:23

the plane covered in shit. By

1:16:27

the time she arrives, I'll have taken a shower

1:16:30

and I'll be sparkly clean and a robe

1:16:32

comfy. Yeah, but she'll have known

1:16:34

that you got there by covering yourself in shit, she'll

1:16:36

never be able to look at you the same. I

1:16:38

wouldn't be able to look at you the same. No

1:16:40

one would. Why? What's wrong? You've

1:16:43

got shit, you've been covered in shit at

1:16:45

some point in your life. So what? I

1:16:47

was covered in shit as a baby at

1:16:49

some point. Not from head to toe. I don't

1:16:51

think you guys are like realizing how much I

1:16:53

mean. I mean like every school interview has to

1:16:55

be covered in shit. It's

1:16:58

just really not that big of a deal. It

1:17:01

is! Shit is so gross! What is wrong with you

1:17:03

people? Okay, let's go and order Jackson. Would you do

1:17:05

it with piss? With

1:17:07

piss? Piss is sterile,

1:17:09

right? No,

1:17:12

I think that's a mess. I don't know. Oh, is

1:17:14

it? I'm still thinking. Um... Fuck.

1:17:17

I would do it with piss before I

1:17:20

would do it with shit, yeah. So

1:17:23

you would do it though? Depends

1:17:26

on the amount of travel we... But yeah, I think so.

1:17:29

Oh, you're so gross. How am I gonna look at

1:17:31

you the same way again, you piss fetishist? Yeah, you

1:17:33

were covered in piss, Jackson. Golden

1:17:36

shower boy, loser. Eww,

1:17:40

yucky. If

1:17:42

I'm super hydrated, you wouldn't even be able to tell. It'll

1:17:44

be like so clear. That's right. You should piss on yourself

1:17:47

right now and see if we can tell. Okay.

1:17:54

Shower yourself with it. Yeah. Someone

1:17:57

in China did a good one. What if you needed to be

1:17:59

covered in piss? Who's cum? Who's cum? Who's

1:18:02

cum? Yep. Um. Alright,

1:18:07

let's start with yours. My own?

1:18:10

Oh, 100%. We will have to be covered in Andrew's cum.

1:18:12

Oh. Everyone would love that. Right? I

1:18:17

take so long to get prepped

1:18:19

though. Like, you'd have to wait so

1:18:21

long to get enough quantity. You'd

1:18:24

have to save every load. Like your growth

1:18:26

swallowing it, you'd be like, no, you wasted

1:18:28

it! No! I'm supposed

1:18:30

to teleport now, you bitch! What?

1:18:33

Take your fingers down her throat. Throw it

1:18:35

off, throw it off. I get one of

1:18:37

those fucking cum jars when I go, no,

1:18:39

my secret formula! Your

1:18:42

girlfriend's as well as your cum and she vanishes.

1:18:44

She just fucking vanishes like a fucking Harry Potter

1:18:46

poet, Pete. She's

1:18:49

unsaid her. Suffocate.

1:18:53

Oh no. What have I done? Well, would you

1:18:55

do jackpot? Well, would you

1:18:57

do jackpot? Well, Andrew's cum would just cum in general. Just in general without a

1:18:59

teleport to your own. My own, yeah, it comes fine. How about mine? My

1:19:02

own. No, not yours. Fuck you. No.

1:19:06

Yeah, so here we go, cum, pierced and shit. We

1:19:08

tested it for STU. You're a fucking fucker.

1:19:13

You're a fucking fucker. I'm not a fucker.

1:19:15

I'm not a fucker. I'm not a fucker. I'm

1:19:17

not a fucker. I'm not a fucker. I'm not a fucker.

1:19:20

I'm not a fucker. I'm not a fucker. I'm

1:19:22

not a fucker. I'm not a fucker. We

1:19:24

found an anonymous donor, we tested it for STU.

1:19:26

It was completely clean. Quote unquote clean as far

1:19:29

as cum can be. Would you

1:19:31

do it? It even has a mild taste.

1:19:33

It's not particularly smelly or foul-tating. I'm not putting

1:19:35

it in my mouth. Or salty. It doesn't good.

1:19:37

It has to cover your lips, Jackson. It has

1:19:39

to cover your lips, dude. Unless you want to

1:19:41

rip them off during teleportation. And

1:19:43

your eyes. You know how cum stinks? Wait,

1:19:46

so you're saying shit has to cover your lips as well and

1:19:48

you're fine with that? Hmmm.

1:19:53

Yeah, that was tasty. That's the worst

1:19:55

Isaac Asimov novel I've ever heard of.

1:20:00

This has changed the whole dynamic, hasn't it boys? Now

1:20:03

you're fucking tasting shit. What? Could I like teleport?

1:20:05

I'm wearing a mask. Thank you. And

1:20:07

do you hear the mask? No, I would do it, man.

1:20:09

It's teleportation. No. Like it's got,

1:20:11

it's literal god power. Yeah, I'm

1:20:13

literally giving you teleportation outside of, outside

1:20:16

of bank vaults. I

1:20:18

don't care about the bank vaults.

1:20:20

I teleported. I'm letting you, I'm

1:20:22

letting you keep it out of your eyes, but it's going on

1:20:24

your fucking desk. Thank you, I guess.

1:20:27

And also, teleportation is this weird fucking dynamic

1:20:29

thing. It's just weird how teleportation works. And

1:20:31

also, it makes your penis smaller. You come

1:20:33

out licking your lips. And also, no one

1:20:36

will ever love you if you do it. And also,

1:20:38

it makes aliens invade if you use

1:20:40

it. Would you still do it? No, no. No,

1:20:43

when you teleport, you come out

1:20:45

like licking your lips like you've really

1:20:47

touched. Why? Oh, it's a

1:20:50

dehydrating experience. You're just so thirsty,

1:20:52

you can consciously start licking, even

1:20:54

though there's poopy there. What

1:20:56

if I teleport myself to the nearest

1:20:58

pool of wherever I'm going, then? Oh,

1:21:01

that's fine. Yeah, you can do that. Jackson, let me up the

1:21:03

playing field here. You don't have to cover

1:21:05

yourself in shit, but in order to teleport, you have

1:21:07

to eat a nugget of shit. Would

1:21:09

you do it? No. No?

1:21:13

A big nugget. What? One tiny

1:21:15

nugget of poop? A little nugget of poop, of course. You look away, yeah,

1:21:17

how big? When you say nuggets, like

1:21:19

a small, large enough to get nuggets like poops before, like

1:21:21

a poop nugget. This

1:21:26

is so large enough to fucking get a

1:21:28

taste. Does

1:21:31

it count if I just take like a hamster pebble

1:21:33

poop? Oh, yeah. It's

1:21:35

got to be, let's say, a gram of poop.

1:21:40

How much is that? Like a grape? Like the

1:21:42

size of a grape, yeah, like a grape of poop. How

1:21:45

about that? Like a grape-sized poop. Well,

1:21:47

do I have to like let it

1:21:49

dissolve among tongue and swish it around for the

1:21:51

powers of power to work or catch it? Hold

1:21:54

my nose and down the hatch. Take a shot of

1:21:56

poop. I would test it first

1:21:58

by blending it in a smooth... and

1:22:00

see if that would work. Oh. That

1:22:03

needs so much work. The

1:22:06

woofy works. He's

1:22:08

like enjoying it. No, I cover it in

1:22:10

yummy fruit. I've

1:22:12

never cooked a book. Like

1:22:15

a pill for a doggy, covers it in peanut

1:22:17

butter. How to cook

1:22:19

with poop. I

1:22:26

think I can make a... Well hang on, hang on.

1:22:28

If it's just gotta be a nugget of poop, you

1:22:30

could hide it in a giant drink. Like

1:22:32

I could get a... like a... like a two

1:22:35

liter of soda and just put it

1:22:37

in there and shake it up. And

1:22:39

then you're drinking poop for two liters?

1:22:41

That just prolongs it and spreads the

1:22:43

taste. If you're gonna do

1:22:45

this, you just wanna get it overdone with. Yeah,

1:22:47

would you rather just swallow it in one go

1:22:49

and get it overdone with, or have like a

1:22:51

very, very dead looted experience that you can power

1:22:54

down? No! I

1:22:56

would make poo pills. Like

1:22:59

you know how you can buy the capsules that you

1:23:01

can show yourself that they're all in your stomach? It's

1:23:03

gonna be the size of a grape. That's a genius

1:23:05

idea. Yeah, I mean it would be a lot of

1:23:07

capsules, like ten capsules, but you know, I still don't

1:23:10

taste any of those. No, it has

1:23:12

to be the size of a grape. Yeah, and

1:23:14

also you have to taste it by licking your

1:23:16

lips, Kaya. And

1:23:20

saying, mmm, that's the secret of incantation too. Yeah,

1:23:22

you have to say, mmm, I really like this

1:23:24

poop nugget before you teleport. As soon as you

1:23:26

take it, it goes on national news that you

1:23:28

took it, and it has your face and your

1:23:30

real name. Well, everyone's gonna

1:23:33

know you're doing this because you're teleporting everywhere. I

1:23:36

don't have to tell them how I did it. Yeah,

1:23:39

well also no one would care. Everyone

1:23:41

knows. Everyone has the same rules.

1:23:45

Thus, everyone would be teleporting because everyone's gonna eat

1:23:47

some poop. Yeah, I mean,

1:23:49

yeah. I mean, it could change the culture and everyone's just

1:23:51

fine with poop now. You'd

1:23:53

be a fool to not eat the poop, Jackson. I'm

1:23:57

not eating the poop. I might be convinced to

1:23:59

cover my face. myself in poop though. If

1:24:01

it's... Oh my god. What? That

1:24:04

is worse. It's honestly worse because then

1:24:06

it's soaking into your skin. I would arguably

1:24:08

rather eat a tiny nugget of poop to

1:24:10

teleport than cover myself head to toe and

1:24:12

shit. I'd really have to think about that.

1:24:14

Yeah. I don't agree. You

1:24:17

could just swallow it and then wash it down

1:24:19

with like high percentage alcohol so you don't feel

1:24:21

anything in your mouth. Well wait, you said great.

1:24:23

Yeah, first of all, I can't swallow tablets. I

1:24:25

fucking... I can't, so I'd be chewing

1:24:27

it, which I don't want to do that. Yeah, but

1:24:29

it's poo. It's like soft, right? Yeah. Alright,

1:24:32

alright, Jackson, would you do it? Would you

1:24:34

swallow the poop nugget if it was poop,

1:24:36

but let's say we coated it in a

1:24:39

spray, a magic flavor spray that made it

1:24:41

taste okay. Like it tasted fine, but you

1:24:43

knew for a fact it was your poop.

1:24:47

Wait fine, but not good? So it

1:24:49

tastes okay. It tastes... it's palatable. A little

1:24:51

horrible. Well

1:24:54

then yeah, I think I could mentally trick myself into

1:24:56

thinking that this is fine, if it just tastes fine.

1:24:58

See, then you can over time build up the tolerance

1:25:01

and just eat straight poop and not

1:25:03

think about that. But hang on, Jackson, how

1:25:05

do you know poop doesn't taste fine right out the gate?

1:25:08

Yeah, have you ever tried it? You're not convincing me

1:25:10

to eat my shit. Nice

1:25:12

try. This

1:25:19

is gonna be the grossest episode ever. This is gonna make people think

1:25:21

it's very... Would you do it for $20? Jackson?

1:25:25

No. Why

1:25:27

does it always come back to trying to buy me to do

1:25:29

these weird things? Because I have $20 in my wallet and

1:25:32

I might have to poop. Well

1:25:36

no, I thought we

1:25:38

collectively were eating our own poop. If

1:25:41

you want to be boring about it, yeah. Yeah.

1:25:46

This was philosophical. Jackson,

1:25:50

what power would you actually accept in

1:25:52

exchange for eating shit? Having

1:25:58

like... Really

1:26:00

good luck maybe Like

1:26:03

being extremely lucky on

1:26:05

the lottery well, just anything just

1:26:08

like you you're born with like an Like

1:26:11

a I don't know like a feet in bouldersgate

1:26:13

3 where you have like incredible luck Where

1:26:16

everything just goes your way I do it for

1:26:19

that or maybe maybe invents like you had

1:26:21

to Every day to maintain

1:26:23

it Yeah,

1:26:25

I mean I'd be questioning what luck means

1:26:27

at that point if I was born having

1:26:29

to eat shit every single day Just to

1:26:31

maintain my life. I don't think that would be

1:26:33

lucky Probably calling

1:26:36

question the entire like hypothesis at

1:26:38

that point but

1:26:40

maybe Yeah,

1:26:45

I think I think I've got it all

1:26:47

figured out my superpower if I had to

1:26:49

do that would be the power to love

1:26:51

eating shit See

1:26:53

I'm thinking ahead The

1:26:56

fetishist the power to find shit delicious

1:26:59

man, I imagine imagine if we were born

1:27:02

those shit Twinkie dudes that like eating that

1:27:04

the You know

1:27:06

the fucking Twinkie silver shit from those

1:27:08

models online Imagine if

1:27:10

we were born with that kind of fetish and then this

1:27:12

would be so easy for us Yeah,

1:27:15

probably the kings of this unit. I

1:27:17

wish every day that I had a

1:27:19

shit eating fetish. You're right Jackson But

1:27:24

Jackson, let's say Every time

1:27:26

you swallow the poo you also jerk off and come You

1:27:29

could train your brain because we have no replace

1:27:31

the city, right? You could train yourself to enjoy

1:27:33

the experience and not mind it as much Yeah,

1:27:37

I'm sure you could over time But like it's

1:27:39

those initial first moments or the first times that

1:27:41

you do it, which would be fucking

1:27:44

awful Obviously, but

1:27:46

so here's what I think I think if

1:27:48

everyone's got this ability the shit the shit

1:27:50

teleportation ability I think eventually

1:27:53

culture will just be okay with

1:27:56

covering yourself and shit like shit will just be a

1:27:58

normal a normal thing Like covering

1:28:00

yourself and shit would be normal eventually of course

1:28:02

like give it like 20 years And

1:28:05

then it would be normalized and then people will be covering

1:28:07

themselves and shit for fun Not

1:28:11

even maybe two weeks before airline

1:28:13

companies to switch over from planes

1:28:15

to septic tanks Your bicycle

1:28:17

to jump into the septic tank teleport Kind

1:28:20

of engineering right into a shower on the other

1:28:22

way. Yeah, pretty good Yeah, just

1:28:24

filling up a septic tank with shit was way more

1:28:26

convenient than sitting on the floor and covering yourself slowly

1:28:28

in the fucking That would actually be

1:28:31

like a hack like

1:28:33

that floor Why

1:28:35

are you planning on rolling around to just? How

1:28:40

else would you fucking do it? Shit,

1:28:42

I don't know. I Don't

1:28:44

know but yeah jump jumping in the septic tank. That's

1:28:46

fucking that's smart. Yeah, cuz you wouldn't even need to

1:28:49

really like It

1:28:51

would it would be like one second and

1:28:53

then you're teleported Yeah,

1:28:55

the nearest porta-potty remove

1:28:57

the lid and the cover and the feet and just jump

1:28:59

in Like

1:29:01

those kids and shindlers list you

1:29:04

guys do anything else? What do you guys want to wrap the?