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0:00
If you want to do something, make it easy. If
0:02
you don't want to do something, make it hard. Welcome
0:13
to the one you feed. Throughout time,
0:15
great tinkers have recognized the importance
0:17
of the thoughts we have. Quotes like
0:20
garbage in, garbage out, or you
0:22
are what you think ring true. And
0:25
yet for many of us, our thoughts don't
0:27
strengthen or empower us. We
0:29
tend toward negativity, self pity,
0:31
jealousy, or fear. We see
0:34
what we don't have instead of what we do.
0:36
We think things that hold us back and dampen
0:38
our spirit. But it's not just about
0:41
thinking. Our actions matter. It
0:43
takes conscious, consistent and creative
0:46
effort to make a life worth living. This
0:48
podcast is about how other people keep themselves
0:51
moving in the right direction, how they
0:53
feed their good Wolfe.
1:10
Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this
1:12
episode is Paul Dolan, Professor
1:14
of behavioral science at the London School
1:16
of Economics and Political Science. He's
1:19
an expert on human behavior and happiness.
1:22
Paul is also the author of the best selling
1:24
book Happiness by Design. Stress
1:27
happens to everyone. It's one of those facts
1:29
of life. I'm sure you can think
1:31
of a time recently when you were very stressed.
1:35
We're working on helping people to better manage
1:37
their stress. If you're signed up for our email list
1:40
already, you know that we recently
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sent something to you about stress in
1:44
your life and we're going to be continuing
1:46
on this topic. And we've got a new resource that's
1:48
coming out soon called Eliminating
1:51
Stress Too. Smart strategies to
1:53
keep you calm and confident. If you're
1:55
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1:57
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1:59
this week. If you are not on
2:01
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feed dot net and sign up
2:05
in the right hand column and you will
2:08
get the next document about managing
2:10
stress, and the main focus
2:13
will be dealing with our thoughts and
2:15
responsibilities. So if you're
2:17
not on our email list, one you feed
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dot net to get signed up for these free
2:22
resources. And here's the interview
2:24
with Paul Dolan. Hi, Paul, welcome
2:26
to the show. Hello, right, it's nice to be on your
2:28
show. I'm excited to have you on. Your book
2:30
is called Happiness by Design change
2:33
what you do, not how you think, which
2:35
is a big part of the way I view the world.
2:37
So this should be an interesting conversation let's
2:40
start like we always do with the parable. There's a grandfather
2:43
who's talking with his grandson. He says, in
2:45
life, there are two wolves inside of us
2:48
that are always at battle. One is
2:50
a good wolf, which represents things
2:52
like kindness and bravery and love, and
2:55
the other is a bad wolf, which represents
2:57
things like greed and hatred and fear.
3:00
And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for
3:02
a second, and he looks up at his grandfather and he says, well,
3:04
grandfather, which one wins? And
3:06
the grandfather says, the one you feed.
3:09
So I'd like to start off by asking you what that
3:11
parable means to you in your life and
3:13
in the work that you do. Well, why don't you start with an
3:15
easy one? So
3:19
it's so it's interesting. So for me um,
3:22
behavioral science teaches us that so
3:25
much of what we do is driven by context
3:28
and environment and situation, and
3:30
a lot less by cognition
3:33
or you know, by by thinking and by
3:35
the person that we think we are. So so for
3:37
me, I start, I start thinking about that parable in terms
3:39
of it's not really two
3:41
selves, there's just context that activate
3:44
those different selves. Right, So,
3:46
so we can design environments, organize our
3:48
life and our day in our society in ways that make
3:50
it easier for us to be kind,
3:53
or we can do it in ways that make it easier for us to be
3:55
greedy. So it would
3:57
be more about which of those selves are at
4:00
evated in which environments,
4:03
and less about themselves themselves.
4:06
I love that answer. It's a great answer, and it ties
4:08
in very much to a lot
4:10
of the themes in your book. Let's start
4:12
kind of at the beginning, because you make a distinction
4:14
early on that you know, there's
4:17
traditionally been two views of the good
4:19
life, right, one that we would consider
4:21
perhaps more hedonic,
4:23
right, a life of pleasure, contentment, positive
4:26
feelings, and another, I think the phrase
4:28
is more you demonic, right, which is
4:30
a life that is more well lived
4:32
and meaningful. And your point is really
4:35
we need a balance of both. That is absolutely
4:38
right, although it's a little subtler than that. So
4:40
in terms of how we measure happiness,
4:43
and he always done the former, that hedonic
4:45
you know, pleasure and pain by
4:48
asking people questions about their pleasure
4:50
and pain in the moments, in the
4:52
experiences of their lives. Um, yet
4:54
the daimonic, isn't it? He always
4:57
asked, as whether your life has meaning,
4:59
whether your life has purpose, whether when
5:01
you reflect upon the narrative of yourself
5:04
you feel like it's been worthwhile. So
5:06
what I argue is that actually there's no reason, in
5:09
principal andy practice why we shouldn't
5:11
be placing purpose on the same
5:13
experiential footing as we place
5:15
pleasure. Happy
5:17
life is one that contains a
5:20
balance between those twin
5:22
sets of feelings and the balance that I think this is really
5:25
important, that's right for the individual. I try
5:27
not to be too prescriptive in the book. I think a lot of
5:29
a lot of happiness books, you know, generally try to tell
5:32
people that there's a one size fits all way
5:35
to live, and I just want people to work out for themselves
5:37
what that balance is exactly. So
5:40
you say that a large
5:42
part of how you feel is determined
5:44
by what you do. Can you elaborate
5:46
on that, yes, So, actually, I mean there's the production
5:49
process of happiness. So I'm trained as an economist,
5:51
although I've kind of morphed more into a psychologist over
5:53
the last decade or so, and so I can't help but kind
5:55
of at some points revert back to my econ
5:57
training and if you're if your company could
6:00
using widgets. Right, you don't just obviously have
6:02
widgets. They have to be produced by some process,
6:05
and that production process is a process
6:07
that converts the inputs land,
6:09
labor, capital into widgets. And
6:12
so you make more widgets when you when you have more
6:14
two things, One you have more inputs or
6:17
you have a more efficient production process.
6:20
So analogously, in happiness,
6:22
I talk about happiness being. People have always
6:24
just really spoken about the inputs income,
6:28
relationships, unemployment, sex,
6:30
all these things as if they are directly
6:32
related to the to the output of happiness.
6:34
But there's a production process in the middle that
6:37
converts those inputs into happiness. And
6:39
that production process is attention.
6:42
So whether and how and
6:44
in what ways to what extend money,
6:47
marriage, employment, and sex
6:50
show up in your happiness depends
6:52
on how much attention you pay
6:54
them. Right, So if you take income,
6:56
for example, you know it's true that money would make
6:58
people very, very happy if they spent all their
7:00
time thinking about how much money they had when they got rich.
7:04
But they stop paying attention to money and pay attention
7:06
to all the other things in life that largely
7:08
have nothing to do with how rich they are. So
7:11
so in the sense of happiness
7:13
being in what you do, it's in what you
7:15
pay attention to, and
7:17
and a lot of our time, not not all of it, of course,
7:19
and we can talk about more about that if you wish, But a
7:21
lot of our time is is paying
7:24
attention to, you know, the conversations that I'm
7:26
having with you now, or paying attention to
7:28
you know, your commute to and from work,
7:30
or the time that you spend with your family and friends, or that you
7:33
know, the listening to music, or you
7:36
know, all the things that draw your
7:38
attention or resources towards
7:41
them in ways that convert the
7:44
puts into happiness and in a lot
7:46
of cases misering. And so another
7:48
way of saying this, I think, would be to say,
7:50
it's not just what's happening to us,
7:53
right, It's it's the attention we pay
7:55
to them and the perspective we take to those
7:57
things that that are happening.
7:59
And you talk an awful lot
8:01
about attention, and furthermore, you
8:03
talk a lot about how we
8:06
spend a lot of time thinking about what
8:08
we think would make us happy. We think
8:10
it's more money, we think it's this thing or that
8:12
thing, and we pay precious little time
8:14
to what actually does make us happy,
8:16
and that we would be better served to pay attention
8:19
to what actually causes our happiness
8:21
in life and then pay more attention to those
8:24
type of things instead of diverting
8:26
our attention to things that we believe may
8:28
someday somewhere provide happiness.
8:30
That's absolutely right. X So if you think about I mean
8:32
so, the things that you pay attention to in a decision
8:35
will often not be the things that matter in the experience
8:38
of one of those choices. So
8:40
if I'm thinking about, you know, choosing between two jobs,
8:43
right, the most obvious dimension
8:45
on which I will compare them as Saturday, it's
8:48
actually the most It's actually not only the most obviously for me,
8:50
it's most obviously for other people. Right. They expect
8:52
to compare the jobs on the basis Saturday. Right,
8:54
they expect me to take the high paying job. And
8:57
actually, if I've done, I've got a real you know, kind
8:59
of inful process of explaining
9:01
to them, why, you know, I think I might have better
9:04
colleagues or a shorter commute in the in the lower
9:06
paying job. So I'm kind of almost almost compelled
9:08
in some way to take the job that
9:10
pays more money because I pay attention to that attribute
9:13
in the decision, and I think I'm going
9:15
to pay attention to that attribute in the experience.
9:18
Right, So, the job with a longer commute
9:20
that pays more money, I'm gonna think that's okay, That longer
9:22
commute is going to be compensated for by the fact
9:24
that I'm richer. But actually, once you take
9:27
the job and you experience your life day to day,
9:29
moment to moment, that commute becomes very
9:32
very painful, very attention
9:34
seeking. And the fact
9:36
that you could have had another
9:38
job that would have paid a little bit less with a shorter
9:40
commute is kind of that that income
9:42
difference becomes irrelevant. So
9:45
in the experience of your life, you kind of
9:48
you pay attention off to to different things that
9:50
matter to you when you make a decision. And
9:52
moreover, we're not very good at predicting
9:55
the things that will draw attention to themselves in
9:57
those experiences, um
10:00
and and so that's one of the fundamental
10:02
reasons why we make quite a few mistakes and errors
10:04
in our decisions that lead us to not be as
10:06
happy as we might otherwise be. Right, because we've
10:08
got two things happening here. One is that
10:11
as you said, we're not very good at predicting what
10:13
will make us happy, and we
10:16
have to talk about the adaptation process
10:18
in order to fully understand that. Do you want to
10:20
explain that the Yeah, So when something
10:23
new happens, something novel, surprising
10:25
and interesting, uh, you
10:28
know, like like a pay rise, or or a
10:30
new date, or or a new house, or a new car,
10:32
or you know it pays it or
10:34
actually bad things as well. Right, So, some adverse
10:36
health effects, for example, they
10:39
we pay attention to them because there novel
10:42
and attention seeking. Um.
10:44
But something that initially starts off novel and attention
10:47
seeking soon becomes many things,
10:49
not all things. Many things become kind
10:51
of old and established. Right. So, so when
10:53
you're we can take an adverse event, when
10:55
you experience an extreme health
10:57
loss, maybe you become a
11:00
paraplegic. Now, that is
11:02
very attention seeking. Obviously when
11:04
it first happens, it's still it's
11:06
still attention seeking for the rest of your life, but
11:09
it's not as attention seeking after a month,
11:11
a year, and ten years as
11:13
it was after the first week. You essentially become
11:15
a part time paraplegic, right,
11:18
so where your attention is only drawn to your
11:20
paraplegic when your attention is
11:22
drawn to it when you're trying to gap a curve, or when you know there's a kind
11:24
of environment that makes you draw attention
11:26
to it. The rest of the time kind
11:29
of get on with life and and live it, by and large
11:31
in very similar ways to people without
11:33
paraplegic. And we're not very good at forecasting
11:35
that. Right. We imagine that, oh,
11:38
it will just just be awful, awful for now
11:40
and forever. Um were equally
11:42
imagine that when in the lottery
11:44
will be pleasurable for now and forever.
11:49
But the now doesn't last for you
11:51
know, the now doesn't last forever. The now,
11:53
the now quickly dissipates because
11:56
we stopped paying attention to um
11:58
many of the good things and bad things
12:00
that life throws us. And that's actually
12:03
highly adaptive for us as human
12:05
beings to get used to stuff, you
12:07
know, because otherwise we might be living in quite
12:09
considerable to them all if we if we didn't. And
12:52
here's the rest of the interview with Paul
12:54
Doland. The positive side of it, right,
12:56
is the psychological immune system, right that
12:58
we get used to think and you you put a
13:00
model in there that I had never really heard
13:03
of before, and I'm certainly familiar with adaptation,
13:05
but you talked about a model of adaptation
13:08
called the area model, which
13:10
stands for you know attention. You
13:12
know, something grabs your attention, you
13:14
react to it, e. You explain
13:16
the event, and once you can explain it, then
13:19
you adapt to it. And I thought that was a
13:21
really good way to look at it. I properly
13:23
referenced that. That's too Dan Gilbert
13:25
who wrote someboding on happiness, and Timothy Wilson
13:27
who's at University of Virginia. So that's
13:29
that's there, that's their model. But obviously,
13:32
for for me, what's key about that is the A bit
13:34
is the attention that something you know
13:36
draws draws itself. And as you absolutely you
13:38
rightly say that once we can make sense
13:40
of of why something has
13:42
happened, um, we can kind
13:44
of get used to it. Right. So um, A
13:47
very good example is when we
13:50
split out with a partner, especially if we get
13:52
dumbed. Right. If you got that is
13:54
that is pretty hot. As though there's no doubt that
13:56
those first few hours, tasting sometimes
13:59
weeks are are pretty awful, but very
14:01
rarely months and years, right unless
14:03
you unless you have unless you
14:05
know, unless it's some kind of other maybe
14:08
mental health issues going on. Most
14:10
people get over people and
14:14
moreover find someone better next. Right,
14:17
So so you don't get very many people
14:19
who say, my current
14:21
girlfriend or wife wisband isn't as good as the one
14:23
I had before, right, because
14:25
it doesn't actually doesn't actually matter whether they are
14:27
or not. Our psychological commune system tells
14:29
us that they're better because it's
14:32
our way of making sense and coping
14:34
with the world. Great. What was interesting me
14:36
about that is also explains why
14:39
not knowing the answer
14:41
or uncertainty in situations
14:44
can be so difficult, and why once
14:46
we have certainty, you know, that's the we
14:48
can explain the event in that model, then
14:51
we can adapt to it. But while it's all kind
14:53
of up in the air, it retains
14:55
its novel because we can't answer the question
14:58
exactly exactly. It's almost you know that, you
15:00
know, it is actually often better to
15:02
have tried something and it and
15:05
it gone wrong than not just tried
15:07
it at all, because they're not trying it at all and sort of nag
15:09
on, you know, sort of nag in your mind about
15:11
what might have happened had you done it, um
15:14
and so that unresolved
15:16
uncertainty is very attention seeking,
15:18
whereas the resolution makes it
15:21
easier to cope with. And that's why we see
15:23
in the most happiness literature that separation
15:26
when you break up is very attention seeking, a misery
15:29
making. You only start getting happier
15:31
again when you get divorced, because
15:33
because because it's it's it's final,
15:36
it's over, and I can move on. I
15:38
can attest to that. Um,
15:41
you say, the key to being happier is to pay
15:43
more attention to what makes you happy and
15:45
less attention to what does not.
15:49
That's pretty straightforward. But I know,
15:51
I know. That's why I was laughing when you said it. It It was
15:53
like, what are we having some sort of statement
15:55
of the bleeding obvious? You know, it's it's
15:58
a but what I you know what what was fine is
16:00
actually I think a lot of a lot funny.
16:02
But I think a lot of the insights that I've drawn
16:05
in the book are actually really obvious. What
16:07
the really interesting question is why they're so overlooked?
16:10
Right? Right? It's not it's not actually that. Then. You know,
16:12
if people say to me when I say what things you
16:14
know to be happy? I say, you know, listen, to
16:16
more music, go outdoors, spend tithing, more people,
16:19
you like being with, help other people. And
16:21
they say, well, that's obvious. I said, well, why
16:23
why how much of it you're actually doing there? If
16:25
it's bloody obvious, why aren't you doing
16:27
more of it? And and so that the answer
16:30
to that question, which is more interesting point, is that
16:32
we make it. We also make it very hard for ourselves
16:34
to do things that would make us happy and pay attention to those
16:36
things. We make it easy for us to do things
16:38
that repay attention to that don't make us feel
16:40
so good, right right, And to take
16:43
that, you know, the next direction is just you
16:45
know, we're talking about changing what you do. And
16:47
at the same time, you see, if you can't change what you
16:49
do, then change what you pay attention
16:52
to in the experience. So
16:54
let's that one that one could use a little
16:56
bit more unpacking
16:58
than the last statement, for sure. Yeah, can
17:00
I just say so?
17:03
So we're into so the so the
17:05
the U the UK and the U S sub title
17:08
of the book of both Happiness by Design. The
17:11
UK subtitle and what was going to
17:13
be the U S subtitle is finding
17:15
pleasure and purpose in everyday life. And
17:18
just as we were about to go to print. My
17:20
US editor said, you know what, those Americans.
17:23
I was easy to say that because she was in the U s US
17:25
American. She said,
17:28
you know, we need something more directed. We
17:31
can't we just be told what to do, so figure
17:33
it out ourselves. Here. That's why that is podcast
17:36
there we have it exactly exactly.
17:39
So so the U subtitle became change
17:41
what you do, not how you think? Right, So
17:44
so that was that was quite an interesting insight I
17:46
thinking to the cultural differences, but
17:48
it isn't exactly that. Uh,
17:50
if we if we take a step back to answer your question,
17:53
is that if you read any of the self help genre,
17:56
they will nearly they will nearly always without exceptions,
17:58
say, you know, change how you think right?
18:00
Change you know, I positive? Whatever? Well
18:02
I kind of yeah, I've worked that out where I bought self help. But
18:05
I want I want you to give you some insight in ours as you can do that, and
18:07
of course you can't. And that's why
18:09
their self help industry is so lucrative, because the
18:12
likelihood of buying a self help book is much
18:14
greater if you bought one in the last twelve months. So
18:17
clearly they're not they're not working. They're working
18:19
at selling books, but they're not working at working at
18:21
changing people's lives. And it's because
18:23
they don't give you And come back
18:25
to my to the previous question, that really simple
18:27
insight is if you want to do something, make it easier.
18:30
They don't give you the tools that
18:32
enable design your environment, to
18:34
organize your day in your life in ways
18:37
that make doing the things that would make
18:39
you happier easier. That's actually
18:41
the fundamental challenge. So most of
18:43
the time we can actually change what we do. Right, So
18:45
even incredibly busy people like me, I mean,
18:47
I think I'm one of the busiest person you know
18:50
ever. You know, I've I've got I've got I've got a
18:52
busy job. I'm ahead of the department now
18:54
at the NFC. Uh. You know, I'd
18:56
all these great academic things, I've got family,
18:58
but I still managed to go to the gym five
19:00
times a week without exception. People
19:03
say to me, I don't have time to do that, always
19:06
like you don't have time, you don't make time.
19:08
So I've organized my diary in a way that
19:11
five gym sessions a week for forty five
19:13
minutes to an hour just always I
19:15
just always do them, Just always do them.
19:18
Um. And I made it easy for myself by
19:20
having a gym that's nearby by, having a training
19:23
partner that I go to the gym with not all the time,
19:25
but much of the time, and we just have an
19:27
automated habitual system
19:29
that makes it easy for me to do that. Yeah.
19:32
I have said this on the show several times, but I think
19:34
for me that I don't have time to exercise.
19:37
Excuse when out the window and I realized that,
19:39
you know, then President Obama exercised,
19:42
you know, nearly every day, and I was like, there's no way
19:44
on earth I can claim to have be
19:47
busier or have more important things going
19:49
on than he does. Right, So, like that excuse
19:51
is gone. You know, it's a matter of prioritization.
20:14
So let's talk about designing
20:16
our environment, because that's a big piece of
20:19
what you talk about throughout the book, which
20:21
is you know, you're more likely
20:23
to do something if it's easy to do so.
20:26
And I think we all underestimate I
20:29
know people that I work with a lot and coaching underestimate
20:31
this. We all think it's all about willpower
20:34
and how dedicated we are, and
20:36
so much of it has to do with design
20:40
and with our environment and crafting
20:42
it in a certain way. So let's talk a little bit more about
20:44
that. What are some of the things we can do
20:47
or what are some of the maybe ways to think
20:49
about structure and our environment so that
20:51
we can make the changes we want to make
20:53
to how we behave and also for
20:55
happiness. It's much less
20:57
about will power more about design power, because
21:00
you know, actually we'll it's hard work, isn't
21:03
it. Exhibiting will will power
21:05
all the time forces
21:08
to do something. Let's stop yourself doing it. So so what
21:10
you want to do is you want to try to create habit
21:12
loops, and so we
21:15
we we see from some of the health behavior change
21:17
in literature that takes about two months
21:19
to change the habit right, So it needs
21:21
to be doing the same thing repetitively for it to
21:23
be embedded and coded. So
21:26
often what's interesting is a lot of times when people try
21:28
to change their behaviors in whatever
21:30
they mean, they don't leave it long enough before
21:33
they stop or start again. Right. So
21:36
New Year's resolutions, I don't have any
21:38
of those last at the end of February, probably probably
21:40
none, very few. So
21:43
you've got to try and so the way that you the
21:46
way that you make that habitual
21:48
process that then makes life easier for you subsequently
21:51
more likely to kind of embed itself,
21:53
is by making it
21:55
more likely. Of course, it's obviously to say that those
21:57
behaviors will be carried out
22:00
on the daily basis or whatever that
22:02
you intend to do them, and that requires
22:04
you to have a very clear implementation
22:08
plan for your intentions.
22:10
It's called implementation and intentions in the academic
22:13
literature. So it's it's it's it's the way
22:15
in which you make the
22:19
the bigger plan more manageable
22:21
and discreet. Right. So it
22:23
was actually used by Barack Obama you mentioned,
22:25
you mentioned him earlier in
22:28
a different context to get the vote out by
22:31
turning by asking people. You don't ask people are
22:33
you going to vote in the general election? Right,
22:36
that's a there's a there's actually a lot of behaviors
22:39
embedded in voting. Right. You've got the
22:41
first lead acts, you've got to find the polling station,
22:43
and you've got a notice. Right, So so the questions
22:45
will be, you know, when, when are you going to vote?
22:48
When in the day, how are you going to get there? Are you going to
22:50
go with somewhere are you going to go on your own right,
22:52
So you've got a series of implementable
22:54
plans that makes intentions
22:56
more likely to happen. So with any
22:59
behavior that you want to changing your daily life,
23:01
you need to have those plans in place. And those
23:03
plans are
23:05
more effective when drawing
23:08
on the lessons from the
23:10
behavioral sciences, which tell us some
23:12
things that are really quite obvious, like we
23:15
care about what other people around us are doing, right
23:18
with social animals, and we take
23:20
accused of other people. You're more likely
23:23
to do something if
23:25
other lots of other people around you are doing it.
23:28
Um, You're you're more likely to
23:30
do something if you if you make a commitment
23:33
or a public promise to do it. Um,
23:35
You're you're more likely to do
23:37
something if you have cus in your environment that
23:40
make it more. Like So
23:43
if you take put even just those three things two
23:45
together, um, you might
23:48
if you want to go to the gym or exercise more, leave
23:50
your trainers by the bed when you get up. You
23:52
might have a gym buddy that you pre
23:54
commit to meeting at the gym at the same
23:56
time every day or week in
23:59
order to train with them. Um.
24:01
And you might join a running
24:03
group or something that makes that behavior more likely.
24:06
So all of these things make the implementation
24:08
of the intention more likely to
24:11
come about. You use four terms
24:13
in relation to this a little bit. You talk about priming,
24:16
default, commitments, and norms.
24:18
Let's walk through each of those real quick. Okay,
24:21
So I just I actually just very rapidly went
24:23
through three of them in that example. So
24:25
so the priming is a
24:28
queue in your environment that makes your behavior more
24:30
likely. So the trainers by the
24:32
bed um
24:34
is just an example. You kind of fall over them, right, so
24:36
you can't sort of help but help
24:38
but see them, or you might have you
24:40
might have a picture of you in the gym
24:43
on your screen saver. Mm hmmm.
24:45
Actually, one of the things I did in a different my
24:48
editor in the UK, I've got any example in the
24:50
book, I say, if you want to spend less online
24:52
shopping whatever, change your banking passwords,
24:54
don't spend so much money and
24:57
uh, And she actually did that, she said some
24:59
bird and of it says the past words
25:01
that don't spend so much money, and she reckoned
25:03
it works. I mean, even just knowing we can
25:06
actually fool ourselves, even though we know we're trying
25:08
to fall ourselves right. So that's how
25:10
that's how powerful some of these effects can be. Typing
25:12
in, don't spend so much money, but
25:16
the margin stops you spending so much money,
25:19
right, So that's you in your environment. So
25:22
then the faults and commitments
25:24
are actually quite similar. I mean I
25:26
I just maybe pay attention
25:28
in the interest of time to the commitments. Thing is
25:31
that you you you're just much
25:33
more likely to do something when you make a
25:35
public promise to do it. So
25:37
if you if you said
25:40
on air something that you're going to do over
25:42
the next and make it a short period and discreete
25:44
behaviors, that you're going to go to the gym
25:46
every day for the next week or something, if you
25:48
say that publicly on air, you know,
25:50
you're just a little bit more likely to do it because you don't want to
25:53
not do something that you've promised too. And
25:56
then the norms, as I say, this is really
25:59
such a vasive effects. We really do take
26:02
our cues for action from those around
26:04
us. I mean, you know, you're you're you're
26:07
walking down the street and everyone's looking up.
26:09
What do you do look up? Right? I mean
26:11
it's it's it's just you're just you're just our
26:13
cute to do what others do.
26:15
So you want to create a
26:17
network of people who engage
26:20
in the behavior that you want to
26:23
Lots of lots of very good data from very robust
26:25
studies, over many contexts
26:27
and years showing that um,
26:30
not just not just our friends effects
26:32
what we do, but our friends friends
26:34
and our friends friends friends. Right,
26:38
So you're you're more likely to
26:40
quit smoking if your friend quit smoking, if
26:42
their friend quit smoking, and their friends friends
26:44
quit smoking. All of those have a direct
26:46
effect, and you're likely for the quit smoking. Yep,
26:50
we're near the end of time here. But you've
26:52
you've kind of tied all this up into a framework
26:55
to look at you can't deciding, designing
26:57
and doing And I think we've talked through
27:00
to those pieces a little bit. But can you maybe
27:02
um give a quick overview
27:04
of how of that framework and how to put it
27:06
into use. Yeah, so, I
27:08
actually we talked a lot about design, right, I mean,
27:10
which is the which is the principles of organizing?
27:13
This is a really and this is I can't I
27:15
can't emphasize this in aferica. I know it's a really
27:17
basic insight, but if you want to do something, make
27:20
it easy. That is really if you don't
27:22
want to do something, make it hard. That's
27:25
and that's you know, and and that that is if
27:27
you do that. If you can do that, you're you
27:29
know, a long way towards achieving your goals.
27:32
Um, we did the design bit. The
27:34
do bit is really where we started
27:37
in a way of paying attention to things that make
27:39
you make you feel good. It's remarkable that, you
27:41
know, music therapy has been shown to be hugely
27:43
effective across the whole range of health conditions,
27:45
mental health conditions, physical health conditions. Music
27:48
literally lights up your entire brain. Everybody,
27:51
I would say, without exception, is happier when
27:53
they listen to music they enjoy. So
27:55
so just do it right, design ways
27:58
of listening to more music into your life. Um.
28:00
The deciding bit, I think is the really maybe
28:03
one of the more more interesting bits, because it's where
28:05
sometimes we have this idea of
28:08
the person that we think would like to be.
28:10
The number of journalists, for example, that I've met who
28:12
say they're going to write a novel, right, don't they all
28:14
say that? Right? Well, most of them done,
28:17
so I don't know actually
28:19
how many of them actually really want to, but they
28:21
say that because they think that's what a journalist should
28:23
do. And so the deciding bit is
28:25
that really is obviously the first of the three ds,
28:28
but it's actually, you know, probably the most critical bit
28:30
in a way, because you need to be absolutely
28:32
clear that this story that you
28:34
tell yourself about the person that you want to
28:36
be instead is actually going to play itself
28:39
out in you feeling better and
28:41
happier. So I'll just make a plug
28:43
for the second book which will be coming next year,
28:45
which is called The Narrative Trap, which
28:47
is actually going to be about the stories that people
28:49
live in that often get in the way
28:52
of them leading happier lives. We tell
28:54
ourselves that we should be richer and more successful
28:56
and married and all these things, when actually
28:59
for some people that things are good, but the
29:01
chasing of them is often quite harmful for
29:03
many people. Yeah, exactly, I think that gets
29:06
to um you you mentioned it
29:08
briefly, and it was that, you
29:10
know, this idea of the
29:13
experiencing self, which is the part
29:15
of us that that can experience and
29:17
enjoy happiness versus the evaluating
29:20
self or another word for the evaluating self, right,
29:22
is kind of the narrative self. It's that it's
29:24
the it's the stories we're telling ourselves
29:26
all the time, and and your basic um
29:29
piece here is pay attention to what
29:31
actually makes you happy. Track your
29:33
time, to watch what you're doing. Did
29:35
that? Did I enjoy that? Did I not enjoy that?
29:37
And move away from our beliefs about
29:40
what will make us happy into our actual experience
29:43
of what does you've actually read
29:45
the book? Eric, the whole darned thing, the
29:49
whole thing. You better. You're better
29:51
explaining it than I have. All
29:54
right, Paul, Well, thank you so much for taking
29:57
the time to come on. I know we're kind of up against our
29:59
our time raam here, so I appreciate
30:02
the time, and let me know when the next book comes out and we'll
30:04
talk again. We will do listen, Thank
30:06
you so much. One of the things I talked about in the book is how you
30:08
know the scarcest resource that we have is
30:10
our time, and you know we have We're
30:12
now half an hour close as to death and we were before
30:15
we started. Um. I think I
30:17
think this has been a very pleasurable and purposeful
30:19
use of that half an hour. So thank you very much, me
30:21
too. All right, take care, Paul, cheers, bye,
30:23
Le's see you bye.
30:41
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