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Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness

Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness

Released Wednesday, 28th February 2018
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Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness

Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness

Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness

Paul Dolan on Designing Your Life for Happiness

Wednesday, 28th February 2018
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0:00

If you want to do something, make it easy. If

0:02

you don't want to do something, make it hard. Welcome

0:13

to the one you feed. Throughout time,

0:15

great tinkers have recognized the importance

0:17

of the thoughts we have. Quotes like

0:20

garbage in, garbage out, or you

0:22

are what you think ring true. And

0:25

yet for many of us, our thoughts don't

0:27

strengthen or empower us. We

0:29

tend toward negativity, self pity,

0:31

jealousy, or fear. We see

0:34

what we don't have instead of what we do.

0:36

We think things that hold us back and dampen

0:38

our spirit. But it's not just about

0:41

thinking. Our actions matter. It

0:43

takes conscious, consistent and creative

0:46

effort to make a life worth living. This

0:48

podcast is about how other people keep themselves

0:51

moving in the right direction, how they

0:53

feed their good Wolfe.

1:10

Thanks for joining us. Our guest on this

1:12

episode is Paul Dolan, Professor

1:14

of behavioral science at the London School

1:16

of Economics and Political Science. He's

1:19

an expert on human behavior and happiness.

1:22

Paul is also the author of the best selling

1:24

book Happiness by Design. Stress

1:27

happens to everyone. It's one of those facts

1:29

of life. I'm sure you can think

1:31

of a time recently when you were very stressed.

1:35

We're working on helping people to better manage

1:37

their stress. If you're signed up for our email list

1:40

already, you know that we recently

1:42

sent something to you about stress in

1:44

your life and we're going to be continuing

1:46

on this topic. And we've got a new resource that's

1:48

coming out soon called Eliminating

1:51

Stress Too. Smart strategies to

1:53

keep you calm and confident. If you're

1:55

already on our email list, no need

1:57

to do anything. The document will come your way

1:59

this week. If you are not on

2:01

our email list, go to one you

2:03

feed dot net and sign up

2:05

in the right hand column and you will

2:08

get the next document about managing

2:10

stress, and the main focus

2:13

will be dealing with our thoughts and

2:15

responsibilities. So if you're

2:17

not on our email list, one you feed

2:19

dot net to get signed up for these free

2:22

resources. And here's the interview

2:24

with Paul Dolan. Hi, Paul, welcome

2:26

to the show. Hello, right, it's nice to be on your

2:28

show. I'm excited to have you on. Your book

2:30

is called Happiness by Design change

2:33

what you do, not how you think, which

2:35

is a big part of the way I view the world.

2:37

So this should be an interesting conversation let's

2:40

start like we always do with the parable. There's a grandfather

2:43

who's talking with his grandson. He says, in

2:45

life, there are two wolves inside of us

2:48

that are always at battle. One is

2:50

a good wolf, which represents things

2:52

like kindness and bravery and love, and

2:55

the other is a bad wolf, which represents

2:57

things like greed and hatred and fear.

3:00

And the grandson stops and he thinks about it for

3:02

a second, and he looks up at his grandfather and he says, well,

3:04

grandfather, which one wins? And

3:06

the grandfather says, the one you feed.

3:09

So I'd like to start off by asking you what that

3:11

parable means to you in your life and

3:13

in the work that you do. Well, why don't you start with an

3:15

easy one? So

3:19

it's so it's interesting. So for me um,

3:22

behavioral science teaches us that so

3:25

much of what we do is driven by context

3:28

and environment and situation, and

3:30

a lot less by cognition

3:33

or you know, by by thinking and by

3:35

the person that we think we are. So so for

3:37

me, I start, I start thinking about that parable in terms

3:39

of it's not really two

3:41

selves, there's just context that activate

3:44

those different selves. Right, So,

3:46

so we can design environments, organize our

3:48

life and our day in our society in ways that make

3:50

it easier for us to be kind,

3:53

or we can do it in ways that make it easier for us to be

3:55

greedy. So it would

3:57

be more about which of those selves are at

4:00

evated in which environments,

4:03

and less about themselves themselves.

4:06

I love that answer. It's a great answer, and it ties

4:08

in very much to a lot

4:10

of the themes in your book. Let's start

4:12

kind of at the beginning, because you make a distinction

4:14

early on that you know, there's

4:17

traditionally been two views of the good

4:19

life, right, one that we would consider

4:21

perhaps more hedonic,

4:23

right, a life of pleasure, contentment, positive

4:26

feelings, and another, I think the phrase

4:28

is more you demonic, right, which is

4:30

a life that is more well lived

4:32

and meaningful. And your point is really

4:35

we need a balance of both. That is absolutely

4:38

right, although it's a little subtler than that. So

4:40

in terms of how we measure happiness,

4:43

and he always done the former, that hedonic

4:45

you know, pleasure and pain by

4:48

asking people questions about their pleasure

4:50

and pain in the moments, in the

4:52

experiences of their lives. Um, yet

4:54

the daimonic, isn't it? He always

4:57

asked, as whether your life has meaning,

4:59

whether your life has purpose, whether when

5:01

you reflect upon the narrative of yourself

5:04

you feel like it's been worthwhile. So

5:06

what I argue is that actually there's no reason, in

5:09

principal andy practice why we shouldn't

5:11

be placing purpose on the same

5:13

experiential footing as we place

5:15

pleasure. Happy

5:17

life is one that contains a

5:20

balance between those twin

5:22

sets of feelings and the balance that I think this is really

5:25

important, that's right for the individual. I try

5:27

not to be too prescriptive in the book. I think a lot of

5:29

a lot of happiness books, you know, generally try to tell

5:32

people that there's a one size fits all way

5:35

to live, and I just want people to work out for themselves

5:37

what that balance is exactly. So

5:40

you say that a large

5:42

part of how you feel is determined

5:44

by what you do. Can you elaborate

5:46

on that, yes, So, actually, I mean there's the production

5:49

process of happiness. So I'm trained as an economist,

5:51

although I've kind of morphed more into a psychologist over

5:53

the last decade or so, and so I can't help but kind

5:55

of at some points revert back to my econ

5:57

training and if you're if your company could

6:00

using widgets. Right, you don't just obviously have

6:02

widgets. They have to be produced by some process,

6:05

and that production process is a process

6:07

that converts the inputs land,

6:09

labor, capital into widgets. And

6:12

so you make more widgets when you when you have more

6:14

two things, One you have more inputs or

6:17

you have a more efficient production process.

6:20

So analogously, in happiness,

6:22

I talk about happiness being. People have always

6:24

just really spoken about the inputs income,

6:28

relationships, unemployment, sex,

6:30

all these things as if they are directly

6:32

related to the to the output of happiness.

6:34

But there's a production process in the middle that

6:37

converts those inputs into happiness. And

6:39

that production process is attention.

6:42

So whether and how and

6:44

in what ways to what extend money,

6:47

marriage, employment, and sex

6:50

show up in your happiness depends

6:52

on how much attention you pay

6:54

them. Right, So if you take income,

6:56

for example, you know it's true that money would make

6:58

people very, very happy if they spent all their

7:00

time thinking about how much money they had when they got rich.

7:04

But they stop paying attention to money and pay attention

7:06

to all the other things in life that largely

7:08

have nothing to do with how rich they are. So

7:11

so in the sense of happiness

7:13

being in what you do, it's in what you

7:15

pay attention to, and

7:17

and a lot of our time, not not all of it, of course,

7:19

and we can talk about more about that if you wish, But a

7:21

lot of our time is is paying

7:24

attention to, you know, the conversations that I'm

7:26

having with you now, or paying attention to

7:28

you know, your commute to and from work,

7:30

or the time that you spend with your family and friends, or that you

7:33

know, the listening to music, or you

7:36

know, all the things that draw your

7:38

attention or resources towards

7:41

them in ways that convert the

7:44

puts into happiness and in a lot

7:46

of cases misering. And so another

7:48

way of saying this, I think, would be to say,

7:50

it's not just what's happening to us,

7:53

right, It's it's the attention we pay

7:55

to them and the perspective we take to those

7:57

things that that are happening.

7:59

And you talk an awful lot

8:01

about attention, and furthermore, you

8:03

talk a lot about how we

8:06

spend a lot of time thinking about what

8:08

we think would make us happy. We think

8:10

it's more money, we think it's this thing or that

8:12

thing, and we pay precious little time

8:14

to what actually does make us happy,

8:16

and that we would be better served to pay attention

8:19

to what actually causes our happiness

8:21

in life and then pay more attention to those

8:24

type of things instead of diverting

8:26

our attention to things that we believe may

8:28

someday somewhere provide happiness.

8:30

That's absolutely right. X So if you think about I mean

8:32

so, the things that you pay attention to in a decision

8:35

will often not be the things that matter in the experience

8:38

of one of those choices. So

8:40

if I'm thinking about, you know, choosing between two jobs,

8:43

right, the most obvious dimension

8:45

on which I will compare them as Saturday, it's

8:48

actually the most It's actually not only the most obviously for me,

8:50

it's most obviously for other people. Right. They expect

8:52

to compare the jobs on the basis Saturday. Right,

8:54

they expect me to take the high paying job. And

8:57

actually, if I've done, I've got a real you know, kind

8:59

of inful process of explaining

9:01

to them, why, you know, I think I might have better

9:04

colleagues or a shorter commute in the in the lower

9:06

paying job. So I'm kind of almost almost compelled

9:08

in some way to take the job that

9:10

pays more money because I pay attention to that attribute

9:13

in the decision, and I think I'm going

9:15

to pay attention to that attribute in the experience.

9:18

Right, So, the job with a longer commute

9:20

that pays more money, I'm gonna think that's okay, That longer

9:22

commute is going to be compensated for by the fact

9:24

that I'm richer. But actually, once you take

9:27

the job and you experience your life day to day,

9:29

moment to moment, that commute becomes very

9:32

very painful, very attention

9:34

seeking. And the fact

9:36

that you could have had another

9:38

job that would have paid a little bit less with a shorter

9:40

commute is kind of that that income

9:42

difference becomes irrelevant. So

9:45

in the experience of your life, you kind of

9:48

you pay attention off to to different things that

9:50

matter to you when you make a decision. And

9:52

moreover, we're not very good at predicting

9:55

the things that will draw attention to themselves in

9:57

those experiences, um

10:00

and and so that's one of the fundamental

10:02

reasons why we make quite a few mistakes and errors

10:04

in our decisions that lead us to not be as

10:06

happy as we might otherwise be. Right, because we've

10:08

got two things happening here. One is that

10:11

as you said, we're not very good at predicting what

10:13

will make us happy, and we

10:16

have to talk about the adaptation process

10:18

in order to fully understand that. Do you want to

10:20

explain that the Yeah, So when something

10:23

new happens, something novel, surprising

10:25

and interesting, uh, you

10:28

know, like like a pay rise, or or a

10:30

new date, or or a new house, or a new car,

10:32

or you know it pays it or

10:34

actually bad things as well. Right, So, some adverse

10:36

health effects, for example, they

10:39

we pay attention to them because there novel

10:42

and attention seeking. Um.

10:44

But something that initially starts off novel and attention

10:47

seeking soon becomes many things,

10:49

not all things. Many things become kind

10:51

of old and established. Right. So, so when

10:53

you're we can take an adverse event, when

10:55

you experience an extreme health

10:57

loss, maybe you become a

11:00

paraplegic. Now, that is

11:02

very attention seeking. Obviously when

11:04

it first happens, it's still it's

11:06

still attention seeking for the rest of your life, but

11:09

it's not as attention seeking after a month,

11:11

a year, and ten years as

11:13

it was after the first week. You essentially become

11:15

a part time paraplegic, right,

11:18

so where your attention is only drawn to your

11:20

paraplegic when your attention is

11:22

drawn to it when you're trying to gap a curve, or when you know there's a kind

11:24

of environment that makes you draw attention

11:26

to it. The rest of the time kind

11:29

of get on with life and and live it, by and large

11:31

in very similar ways to people without

11:33

paraplegic. And we're not very good at forecasting

11:35

that. Right. We imagine that, oh,

11:38

it will just just be awful, awful for now

11:40

and forever. Um were equally

11:42

imagine that when in the lottery

11:44

will be pleasurable for now and forever.

11:49

But the now doesn't last for you

11:51

know, the now doesn't last forever. The now,

11:53

the now quickly dissipates because

11:56

we stopped paying attention to um

11:58

many of the good things and bad things

12:00

that life throws us. And that's actually

12:03

highly adaptive for us as human

12:05

beings to get used to stuff, you

12:07

know, because otherwise we might be living in quite

12:09

considerable to them all if we if we didn't. And

12:52

here's the rest of the interview with Paul

12:54

Doland. The positive side of it, right,

12:56

is the psychological immune system, right that

12:58

we get used to think and you you put a

13:00

model in there that I had never really heard

13:03

of before, and I'm certainly familiar with adaptation,

13:05

but you talked about a model of adaptation

13:08

called the area model, which

13:10

stands for you know attention. You

13:12

know, something grabs your attention, you

13:14

react to it, e. You explain

13:16

the event, and once you can explain it, then

13:19

you adapt to it. And I thought that was a

13:21

really good way to look at it. I properly

13:23

referenced that. That's too Dan Gilbert

13:25

who wrote someboding on happiness, and Timothy Wilson

13:27

who's at University of Virginia. So that's

13:29

that's there, that's their model. But obviously,

13:32

for for me, what's key about that is the A bit

13:34

is the attention that something you know

13:36

draws draws itself. And as you absolutely you

13:38

rightly say that once we can make sense

13:40

of of why something has

13:42

happened, um, we can kind

13:44

of get used to it. Right. So um, A

13:47

very good example is when we

13:50

split out with a partner, especially if we get

13:52

dumbed. Right. If you got that is

13:54

that is pretty hot. As though there's no doubt that

13:56

those first few hours, tasting sometimes

13:59

weeks are are pretty awful, but very

14:01

rarely months and years, right unless

14:03

you unless you have unless you

14:05

know, unless it's some kind of other maybe

14:08

mental health issues going on. Most

14:10

people get over people and

14:14

moreover find someone better next. Right,

14:17

So so you don't get very many people

14:19

who say, my current

14:21

girlfriend or wife wisband isn't as good as the one

14:23

I had before, right, because

14:25

it doesn't actually doesn't actually matter whether they are

14:27

or not. Our psychological commune system tells

14:29

us that they're better because it's

14:32

our way of making sense and coping

14:34

with the world. Great. What was interesting me

14:36

about that is also explains why

14:39

not knowing the answer

14:41

or uncertainty in situations

14:44

can be so difficult, and why once

14:46

we have certainty, you know, that's the we

14:48

can explain the event in that model, then

14:51

we can adapt to it. But while it's all kind

14:53

of up in the air, it retains

14:55

its novel because we can't answer the question

14:58

exactly exactly. It's almost you know that, you

15:00

know, it is actually often better to

15:02

have tried something and it and

15:05

it gone wrong than not just tried

15:07

it at all, because they're not trying it at all and sort of nag

15:09

on, you know, sort of nag in your mind about

15:11

what might have happened had you done it, um

15:14

and so that unresolved

15:16

uncertainty is very attention seeking,

15:18

whereas the resolution makes it

15:21

easier to cope with. And that's why we see

15:23

in the most happiness literature that separation

15:26

when you break up is very attention seeking, a misery

15:29

making. You only start getting happier

15:31

again when you get divorced, because

15:33

because because it's it's it's final,

15:36

it's over, and I can move on. I

15:38

can attest to that. Um,

15:41

you say, the key to being happier is to pay

15:43

more attention to what makes you happy and

15:45

less attention to what does not.

15:49

That's pretty straightforward. But I know,

15:51

I know. That's why I was laughing when you said it. It It was

15:53

like, what are we having some sort of statement

15:55

of the bleeding obvious? You know, it's it's

15:58

a but what I you know what what was fine is

16:00

actually I think a lot of a lot funny.

16:02

But I think a lot of the insights that I've drawn

16:05

in the book are actually really obvious. What

16:07

the really interesting question is why they're so overlooked?

16:10

Right? Right? It's not it's not actually that. Then. You know,

16:12

if people say to me when I say what things you

16:14

know to be happy? I say, you know, listen, to

16:16

more music, go outdoors, spend tithing, more people,

16:19

you like being with, help other people. And

16:21

they say, well, that's obvious. I said, well, why

16:23

why how much of it you're actually doing there? If

16:25

it's bloody obvious, why aren't you doing

16:27

more of it? And and so that the answer

16:30

to that question, which is more interesting point, is that

16:32

we make it. We also make it very hard for ourselves

16:34

to do things that would make us happy and pay attention to those

16:36

things. We make it easy for us to do things

16:38

that repay attention to that don't make us feel

16:40

so good, right right, And to take

16:43

that, you know, the next direction is just you

16:45

know, we're talking about changing what you do. And

16:47

at the same time, you see, if you can't change what you

16:49

do, then change what you pay attention

16:52

to in the experience. So

16:54

let's that one that one could use a little

16:56

bit more unpacking

16:58

than the last statement, for sure. Yeah, can

17:00

I just say so?

17:03

So we're into so the so the

17:05

the U the UK and the U S sub title

17:08

of the book of both Happiness by Design. The

17:11

UK subtitle and what was going to

17:13

be the U S subtitle is finding

17:15

pleasure and purpose in everyday life. And

17:18

just as we were about to go to print. My

17:20

US editor said, you know what, those Americans.

17:23

I was easy to say that because she was in the U s US

17:25

American. She said,

17:28

you know, we need something more directed. We

17:31

can't we just be told what to do, so figure

17:33

it out ourselves. Here. That's why that is podcast

17:36

there we have it exactly exactly.

17:39

So so the U subtitle became change

17:41

what you do, not how you think? Right, So

17:44

so that was that was quite an interesting insight I

17:46

thinking to the cultural differences, but

17:48

it isn't exactly that. Uh,

17:50

if we if we take a step back to answer your question,

17:53

is that if you read any of the self help genre,

17:56

they will nearly they will nearly always without exceptions,

17:58

say, you know, change how you think right?

18:00

Change you know, I positive? Whatever? Well

18:02

I kind of yeah, I've worked that out where I bought self help. But

18:05

I want I want you to give you some insight in ours as you can do that, and

18:07

of course you can't. And that's why

18:09

their self help industry is so lucrative, because the

18:12

likelihood of buying a self help book is much

18:14

greater if you bought one in the last twelve months. So

18:17

clearly they're not they're not working. They're working

18:19

at selling books, but they're not working at working at

18:21

changing people's lives. And it's because

18:23

they don't give you And come back

18:25

to my to the previous question, that really simple

18:27

insight is if you want to do something, make it easier.

18:30

They don't give you the tools that

18:32

enable design your environment, to

18:34

organize your day in your life in ways

18:37

that make doing the things that would make

18:39

you happier easier. That's actually

18:41

the fundamental challenge. So most of

18:43

the time we can actually change what we do. Right, So

18:45

even incredibly busy people like me, I mean,

18:47

I think I'm one of the busiest person you know

18:50

ever. You know, I've I've got I've got I've got a

18:52

busy job. I'm ahead of the department now

18:54

at the NFC. Uh. You know, I'd

18:56

all these great academic things, I've got family,

18:58

but I still managed to go to the gym five

19:00

times a week without exception. People

19:03

say to me, I don't have time to do that, always

19:06

like you don't have time, you don't make time.

19:08

So I've organized my diary in a way that

19:11

five gym sessions a week for forty five

19:13

minutes to an hour just always I

19:15

just always do them, Just always do them.

19:18

Um. And I made it easy for myself by

19:20

having a gym that's nearby by, having a training

19:23

partner that I go to the gym with not all the time,

19:25

but much of the time, and we just have an

19:27

automated habitual system

19:29

that makes it easy for me to do that. Yeah.

19:32

I have said this on the show several times, but I think

19:34

for me that I don't have time to exercise.

19:37

Excuse when out the window and I realized that,

19:39

you know, then President Obama exercised,

19:42

you know, nearly every day, and I was like, there's no way

19:44

on earth I can claim to have be

19:47

busier or have more important things going

19:49

on than he does. Right, So, like that excuse

19:51

is gone. You know, it's a matter of prioritization.

20:14

So let's talk about designing

20:16

our environment, because that's a big piece of

20:19

what you talk about throughout the book, which

20:21

is you know, you're more likely

20:23

to do something if it's easy to do so.

20:26

And I think we all underestimate I

20:29

know people that I work with a lot and coaching underestimate

20:31

this. We all think it's all about willpower

20:34

and how dedicated we are, and

20:36

so much of it has to do with design

20:40

and with our environment and crafting

20:42

it in a certain way. So let's talk a little bit more about

20:44

that. What are some of the things we can do

20:47

or what are some of the maybe ways to think

20:49

about structure and our environment so that

20:51

we can make the changes we want to make

20:53

to how we behave and also for

20:55

happiness. It's much less

20:57

about will power more about design power, because

21:00

you know, actually we'll it's hard work, isn't

21:03

it. Exhibiting will will power

21:05

all the time forces

21:08

to do something. Let's stop yourself doing it. So so what

21:10

you want to do is you want to try to create habit

21:12

loops, and so we

21:15

we we see from some of the health behavior change

21:17

in literature that takes about two months

21:19

to change the habit right, So it needs

21:21

to be doing the same thing repetitively for it to

21:23

be embedded and coded. So

21:26

often what's interesting is a lot of times when people try

21:28

to change their behaviors in whatever

21:30

they mean, they don't leave it long enough before

21:33

they stop or start again. Right. So

21:36

New Year's resolutions, I don't have any

21:38

of those last at the end of February, probably probably

21:40

none, very few. So

21:43

you've got to try and so the way that you the

21:46

way that you make that habitual

21:48

process that then makes life easier for you subsequently

21:51

more likely to kind of embed itself,

21:53

is by making it

21:55

more likely. Of course, it's obviously to say that those

21:57

behaviors will be carried out

22:00

on the daily basis or whatever that

22:02

you intend to do them, and that requires

22:04

you to have a very clear implementation

22:08

plan for your intentions.

22:10

It's called implementation and intentions in the academic

22:13

literature. So it's it's it's it's the way

22:15

in which you make the

22:19

the bigger plan more manageable

22:21

and discreet. Right. So it

22:23

was actually used by Barack Obama you mentioned,

22:25

you mentioned him earlier in

22:28

a different context to get the vote out by

22:31

turning by asking people. You don't ask people are

22:33

you going to vote in the general election? Right,

22:36

that's a there's a there's actually a lot of behaviors

22:39

embedded in voting. Right. You've got the

22:41

first lead acts, you've got to find the polling station,

22:43

and you've got a notice. Right, So so the questions

22:45

will be, you know, when, when are you going to vote?

22:48

When in the day, how are you going to get there? Are you going to

22:50

go with somewhere are you going to go on your own right,

22:52

So you've got a series of implementable

22:54

plans that makes intentions

22:56

more likely to happen. So with any

22:59

behavior that you want to changing your daily life,

23:01

you need to have those plans in place. And those

23:03

plans are

23:05

more effective when drawing

23:08

on the lessons from the

23:10

behavioral sciences, which tell us some

23:12

things that are really quite obvious, like we

23:15

care about what other people around us are doing, right

23:18

with social animals, and we take

23:20

accused of other people. You're more likely

23:23

to do something if

23:25

other lots of other people around you are doing it.

23:28

Um, You're you're more likely to

23:30

do something if you if you make a commitment

23:33

or a public promise to do it. Um,

23:35

You're you're more likely to do

23:37

something if you have cus in your environment that

23:40

make it more. Like So

23:43

if you take put even just those three things two

23:45

together, um, you might

23:48

if you want to go to the gym or exercise more, leave

23:50

your trainers by the bed when you get up. You

23:52

might have a gym buddy that you pre

23:54

commit to meeting at the gym at the same

23:56

time every day or week in

23:59

order to train with them. Um.

24:01

And you might join a running

24:03

group or something that makes that behavior more likely.

24:06

So all of these things make the implementation

24:08

of the intention more likely to

24:11

come about. You use four terms

24:13

in relation to this a little bit. You talk about priming,

24:16

default, commitments, and norms.

24:18

Let's walk through each of those real quick. Okay,

24:21

So I just I actually just very rapidly went

24:23

through three of them in that example. So

24:25

so the priming is a

24:28

queue in your environment that makes your behavior more

24:30

likely. So the trainers by the

24:32

bed um

24:34

is just an example. You kind of fall over them, right, so

24:36

you can't sort of help but help

24:38

but see them, or you might have you

24:40

might have a picture of you in the gym

24:43

on your screen saver. Mm hmmm.

24:45

Actually, one of the things I did in a different my

24:48

editor in the UK, I've got any example in the

24:50

book, I say, if you want to spend less online

24:52

shopping whatever, change your banking passwords,

24:54

don't spend so much money and

24:57

uh, And she actually did that, she said some

24:59

bird and of it says the past words

25:01

that don't spend so much money, and she reckoned

25:03

it works. I mean, even just knowing we can

25:06

actually fool ourselves, even though we know we're trying

25:08

to fall ourselves right. So that's how

25:10

that's how powerful some of these effects can be. Typing

25:12

in, don't spend so much money, but

25:16

the margin stops you spending so much money,

25:19

right, So that's you in your environment. So

25:22

then the faults and commitments

25:24

are actually quite similar. I mean I

25:26

I just maybe pay attention

25:28

in the interest of time to the commitments. Thing is

25:31

that you you you're just much

25:33

more likely to do something when you make a

25:35

public promise to do it. So

25:37

if you if you said

25:40

on air something that you're going to do over

25:42

the next and make it a short period and discreete

25:44

behaviors, that you're going to go to the gym

25:46

every day for the next week or something, if you

25:48

say that publicly on air, you know,

25:50

you're just a little bit more likely to do it because you don't want to

25:53

not do something that you've promised too. And

25:56

then the norms, as I say, this is really

25:59

such a vasive effects. We really do take

26:02

our cues for action from those around

26:04

us. I mean, you know, you're you're you're

26:07

walking down the street and everyone's looking up.

26:09

What do you do look up? Right? I mean

26:11

it's it's it's just you're just you're just our

26:13

cute to do what others do.

26:15

So you want to create a

26:17

network of people who engage

26:20

in the behavior that you want to

26:23

Lots of lots of very good data from very robust

26:25

studies, over many contexts

26:27

and years showing that um,

26:30

not just not just our friends effects

26:32

what we do, but our friends friends

26:34

and our friends friends friends. Right,

26:38

So you're you're more likely to

26:40

quit smoking if your friend quit smoking, if

26:42

their friend quit smoking, and their friends friends

26:44

quit smoking. All of those have a direct

26:46

effect, and you're likely for the quit smoking. Yep,

26:50

we're near the end of time here. But you've

26:52

you've kind of tied all this up into a framework

26:55

to look at you can't deciding, designing

26:57

and doing And I think we've talked through

27:00

to those pieces a little bit. But can you maybe

27:02

um give a quick overview

27:04

of how of that framework and how to put it

27:06

into use. Yeah, so, I

27:08

actually we talked a lot about design, right, I mean,

27:10

which is the which is the principles of organizing?

27:13

This is a really and this is I can't I

27:15

can't emphasize this in aferica. I know it's a really

27:17

basic insight, but if you want to do something, make

27:20

it easy. That is really if you don't

27:22

want to do something, make it hard. That's

27:25

and that's you know, and and that that is if

27:27

you do that. If you can do that, you're you

27:29

know, a long way towards achieving your goals.

27:32

Um, we did the design bit. The

27:34

do bit is really where we started

27:37

in a way of paying attention to things that make

27:39

you make you feel good. It's remarkable that, you

27:41

know, music therapy has been shown to be hugely

27:43

effective across the whole range of health conditions,

27:45

mental health conditions, physical health conditions. Music

27:48

literally lights up your entire brain. Everybody,

27:51

I would say, without exception, is happier when

27:53

they listen to music they enjoy. So

27:55

so just do it right, design ways

27:58

of listening to more music into your life. Um.

28:00

The deciding bit, I think is the really maybe

28:03

one of the more more interesting bits, because it's where

28:05

sometimes we have this idea of

28:08

the person that we think would like to be.

28:10

The number of journalists, for example, that I've met who

28:12

say they're going to write a novel, right, don't they all

28:14

say that? Right? Well, most of them done,

28:17

so I don't know actually

28:19

how many of them actually really want to, but they

28:21

say that because they think that's what a journalist should

28:23

do. And so the deciding bit is

28:25

that really is obviously the first of the three ds,

28:28

but it's actually, you know, probably the most critical bit

28:30

in a way, because you need to be absolutely

28:32

clear that this story that you

28:34

tell yourself about the person that you want to

28:36

be instead is actually going to play itself

28:39

out in you feeling better and

28:41

happier. So I'll just make a plug

28:43

for the second book which will be coming next year,

28:45

which is called The Narrative Trap, which

28:47

is actually going to be about the stories that people

28:49

live in that often get in the way

28:52

of them leading happier lives. We tell

28:54

ourselves that we should be richer and more successful

28:56

and married and all these things, when actually

28:59

for some people that things are good, but the

29:01

chasing of them is often quite harmful for

29:03

many people. Yeah, exactly, I think that gets

29:06

to um you you mentioned it

29:08

briefly, and it was that, you

29:10

know, this idea of the

29:13

experiencing self, which is the part

29:15

of us that that can experience and

29:17

enjoy happiness versus the evaluating

29:20

self or another word for the evaluating self, right,

29:22

is kind of the narrative self. It's that it's

29:24

the it's the stories we're telling ourselves

29:26

all the time, and and your basic um

29:29

piece here is pay attention to what

29:31

actually makes you happy. Track your

29:33

time, to watch what you're doing. Did

29:35

that? Did I enjoy that? Did I not enjoy that?

29:37

And move away from our beliefs about

29:40

what will make us happy into our actual experience

29:43

of what does you've actually read

29:45

the book? Eric, the whole darned thing, the

29:49

whole thing. You better. You're better

29:51

explaining it than I have. All

29:54

right, Paul, Well, thank you so much for taking

29:57

the time to come on. I know we're kind of up against our

29:59

our time raam here, so I appreciate

30:02

the time, and let me know when the next book comes out and we'll

30:04

talk again. We will do listen, Thank

30:06

you so much. One of the things I talked about in the book is how you

30:08

know the scarcest resource that we have is

30:10

our time, and you know we have We're

30:12

now half an hour close as to death and we were before

30:15

we started. Um. I think I

30:17

think this has been a very pleasurable and purposeful

30:19

use of that half an hour. So thank you very much, me

30:21

too. All right, take care, Paul, cheers, bye,

30:23

Le's see you bye.

30:41

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