0:00

We were back again. Yeah, and

0:02

there were two in the bed and the

0:04

little one said, there's just the two of

0:06

us, I don't know what's happened to our

0:08

family. It's always the time we

0:11

always left to hold the baby, aren't we, Will?

0:14

Crazy. Hey,

0:17

but that's how it goes. I

0:20

need to go to a happier place. I

0:23

feel romantic. Good half, Fuzzy. Just

0:25

go to bed, darling. Aaaaah!

0:29

All right, change the subject. So

0:31

how was your trip? My trip

0:33

to London was fantastic. I went

0:36

to our house, I stayed in

0:38

our house. And

0:41

the first time that I've actually stayed in the house...

0:43

And I haven't finished yet. Oh, not

0:45

the extension, but the house is finished.

0:47

Is it looking nice, Will? Yeah, it

0:49

is. It's looking great. It's looking great.

0:51

How big... Oh,

0:54

it's my house, but... How

0:57

big of an extension is it? Is

0:59

it a big extension? 4,000 square

1:01

feet. What does that

1:03

mean? You

1:07

know where the garages was? Is

1:10

it as long as the garages? Yes.

1:13

Fuck you, though. Is it a big room? There

1:17

is one big room. You're... My

1:20

room. Your room, yes. You

1:23

wouldn't have... Like, I got

1:25

a little desk thing.

1:27

Yeah, for your artwork, yeah,

1:30

of course. Yeah. Fantastic. Yeah.

1:33

You'll be very excited. You're

1:35

very bright. Yes,

1:38

it is. It's lovely. And

1:40

it's so important. Yeah, and it looks

1:43

out onto all the land and you'll

1:45

love it. When will

1:47

the swimming pool be finished? It's

1:51

not going to be finished

1:53

till about April. April,

1:55

May. The pool? Mm-hmm. Fuck

1:57

you. No, the pool's finished. It's the

1:59

structure. above the pool. Wow.

2:03

Okay. That's gonna be

2:05

special. A lovely gym for you. And it's

2:08

the one at pool I got here. Bigger.

2:12

Fucking hell. I

2:14

hate it. Of course. In

2:16

England, of course. Yeah.

2:20

That's how it's indoor. Yeah.

2:23

I like it. So, asking

2:26

me more questions, go on. Will

2:28

there be a diving board? No!

2:31

What the fuck did

2:33

you put into the pool? You don't

2:35

need a diving board, for God's sake.

2:38

What are you gonna do on a fucking

2:40

diving board? Is there a...

2:46

I don't know. It's a bit shallow end. What

2:49

is the same

2:52

one? No, it's been

2:54

built that you actually walk

2:56

into the pool and it's

2:58

grated down. Is it? Yeah.

3:01

It's a deep end. Yes.

3:03

Fantastic. Much more colour than

3:05

the tyres and the tiles. Dark

3:09

blue. What colour do you want them? I don't

3:12

know. Same with this pool. Okay.

3:15

Then it shall be... I can have my name at the bottom of the

3:17

pool. You can have

3:19

whatever you want. Mine.

3:23

Mine. Or these... Okay,

3:26

yeah. So, it's looking

3:28

good. Looking very good.

3:30

Thank you. And for

3:32

people who don't understand, we've had

3:34

this house for years and years.

3:37

It was built a

3:40

hundred years ago by

3:43

famous architects. On

3:47

the outside, it doesn't look good,

3:49

but it's so lovely inside.

3:51

And our kids grew up there,

3:53

didn't they? Yeah. It looks a

3:55

bit like a mental institution, which is good for

3:58

us. Yeah,

4:01

but it is cozy inside.

4:03

It's very cozy. I'll

4:06

tell you the next thing I want to

4:08

do there is get a tennis court built.

4:10

Yeah. Neither

4:12

of us are going to bloody play. So I

4:15

don't know. I'm going, yes, yes. What the hell

4:17

do we want a tennis court for? I

4:20

still have the pool table somewhere, don't I? Oh

4:23

God, Ozzy. The

4:25

pool table. Yeah, I know what you're talking

4:27

about. And we don't

4:30

know it anymore. Well, we had it. There

4:32

was a store

4:34

that actually makes pool

4:36

tables and they were storing

4:38

it for us. But it's been in there 30

4:40

years. I'm sure they're... No, they're not that snooker's

4:43

table. I know. The

4:45

pool table. Pool table, I know. Because

4:48

you already made four of me. I know. But

4:50

30 years later, they're probably

4:53

gone. Fuck off, it's

4:55

my pool table. Oh, Jeff. That's

4:58

beside the point. 30 years is

5:00

a long time. Well, look, it's so... I

5:02

won't find out. I'll find out. I'll

5:06

find out. I'll find out. Okay. All

5:09

right. Well, yes, I had a lovely time

5:11

in England. Oh, good. But

5:13

I'm glad to be back with you. Was it

5:15

cold? But it was cold. Freezing. Snowing.

5:19

Snowing. Freezing. Glad

5:21

I never saw the airport there. Yeah.

5:24

Freezing, freezing. But it was good.

5:26

That's one of the reasons. Look,

5:29

I wasn't excited. It was

5:31

gut cold here. And

5:33

my certain neck started to act badly

5:35

because it was cold. I know. You

5:38

couldn't have taken it. It was way, way

5:40

too cold for you. Okay. Let's

5:42

do... What's the topic today? Would

5:45

you rather questions you're going to

5:47

be answering? Okay. Okay.

5:49

Okay. I Want to

5:51

say thank you to the Reddit. Would

5:54

You rather page for some of these

5:56

questions because we nicked them from that.

5:58

So Thank you. What's the... The.

6:03

If you were reborn, would you rather be

6:05

male? Or. Female. Mile.

6:08

You want to stay a male all. Of

6:10

your. You wouldn't like to

6:13

have a nice pair of boobs know

6:15

now? Slap it out in front of

6:17

you know, cause. He amusing.

6:20

I couldn't sing about.

6:23

Avenue Node Willie flopping

6:26

around and I know.

6:28

No. I do Love is made

6:30

a woman. This is the city. So.

6:36

I'm I'm I'm I'm a month

6:38

or so or honours. Loves that

6:40

movie. Yet you're. A real bloke

6:42

and I a it wouldn't sue

6:44

you and I am. I just

6:46

love being a woman I love

6:48

when then I love seeing a

6:50

woman I couldn't think about being

6:52

a smelly l bloke. Hooton

6:55

next. Would.

6:57

You rather go to heaven or hell. You're.

7:00

Only there for thirty minutes just to see

7:02

what it's like. And then you

7:04

can return to earth and tell people what

7:06

you experienced. Have been. Yes,

7:09

I have been in How. Much This

7:11

is hell right here so I will see

7:14

those are has it has an. Oil

7:16

the A depend on what

7:18

what but policy so. That's

7:20

very true. Or is

7:23

it that the the thing

7:25

that worries? It's a crossroads?

7:27

Cute. You got it. Might

7:29

either Susie. Go what road?

7:31

I'm on a site for

7:33

a minute. Are. Looking

7:35

back of my life. Or

7:38

don't know how got here because. I'm

7:40

seventy. Boy Roman. Oh.

7:43

If my life and you know. Are

7:46

you know? Will you go? Fuck you know

7:48

If you. Could. Have another of lives

7:50

or a hell of a life. Of

7:54

fun life know. Oh good

7:56

for. Burrow. a lot

7:58

of phony marlow I've

8:01

turned a few heads and I've achieved a

8:03

lot in my life and I've made a

8:05

lot of people happy and I've had a

8:07

lot of people unhappy. You've

8:11

made more people happy than

8:13

people unhappy, let me tell you. I mean,

8:15

in the end of the term, it's the best

8:17

job in the world. My

8:24

distalestia when I was at school,

8:27

my learning disabilities were

8:29

reading and maths

8:31

and maths and I couldn't get

8:33

it together. I mean, my

8:36

life has been fantastic. Sorry

8:38

about the scratching everyone that you

8:41

can hear. That's Elvis under the

8:43

desk here and he's nesting

8:46

under there. Elvie, come on. Yeah.

8:48

I've been to heaven. I'm hell

8:50

here. So heaven

8:53

definitely, definitely need a bit of

8:56

heaven. Definitely.

8:59

I don't know. I've always thought that

9:01

this is hell and you'll keep coming

9:03

back until you get it right. This is heaven

9:05

and hell. When

9:10

you see the earth from space,

9:12

there's every creed and religion and

9:14

whatever on this wall and it's a

9:16

beautiful place to use earth and

9:19

we're doing so much fucking harm to it. We're

9:22

really doing a bad fucking answer. But

9:26

I don't know what I'm going to

9:28

do. I'm going to go to Mars for because

9:30

the way things are going, we're going to blow

9:33

ourselves a bit. I

9:35

mean, if there's another serious war,

9:37

a world war and I

9:40

start using that nuclear shit, eventually

9:44

some little country is going to get

9:46

one and fucking use it. That's

9:49

for sure. But any more

9:51

good news? Can we have another?

9:54

No, I mean, the

9:57

threat of the looming war.

10:00

could come. The

10:02

world is getting fucking pretty pissed

10:04

off right now. Ukraine

10:08

and Israel. Oh, listen, now

10:11

Sweden's got an army going. They haven't

10:13

had... They've not been in a war

10:15

for a hundred years and now they're

10:17

gearing up because of

10:19

NATO. Everybody's bloody at it. Every

10:22

time... I think it's in human

10:24

nature wars. Every

10:26

time, it was so often

10:29

they have to go and kill each

10:31

other and fucking have

10:33

a go again throughout time. Next

10:36

one? Yeah, yeah. You ready?

10:39

Come on then. So you're at a party. Would

10:41

you rather poop in the only toilet

10:43

knowing it'll clog or poop outside

10:45

in the bushes? I'd

10:49

go home. I don't

10:52

like pooping like that. No,

10:55

you've got a phobia about using other

10:58

people's toilets. I don't like doing that. No, you

11:00

don't. Remember my minute.

11:02

What? Remember

11:05

in that guy's house, Roger Wissigard,

11:07

to use his toilets. Oh my

11:09

good God. And he

11:11

had no toilet papers, I had to wipe

11:13

my butt on his skirt. There

11:16

were long red velvet. He lived

11:19

in an old manor house. And

11:22

as usual, you do

11:27

something outrageous and there was no

11:29

toilet paper so you wiped your

11:31

ass on his red velvet long

11:33

curtains that happened to be in

11:35

his toilet. Yes,

11:39

I remember that very

11:42

much. I bet he

11:44

did too. I

11:46

bet he did when he came back. It's

11:48

funny that you should say that

11:50

question is just triggered something

11:52

in my head. I was

11:55

at a friend's wedding and it

11:57

was... Oh

12:01

yeah, this was just a few couple,

12:03

no, how many years, about six years

12:05

ago, a friend's wedding and it

12:08

was in Malibu and it was at a house.

12:12

It wasn't in the house. It was

12:14

on the land you were touring.

12:16

It was on the property

12:19

that they had the wedding reception. As

12:22

I was leaving, we went past the

12:24

actual property on the land and

12:26

I ran in

12:29

to use the toilet but what

12:31

I didn't realize was the

12:34

house wasn't completed and I

12:37

just ran into the cloak room

12:39

in the hallway and

12:41

nothing was plumbed in and I

12:44

went in and I cracked in their

12:46

toilet and it wasn't plumbed in. I

12:51

ran out of there so

12:53

quick. Now you've told me

12:55

who did it. Oh

12:58

what a fucking thing. It

13:02

was an accident. Yeah, it was. I

13:04

wouldn't do it on purpose, that's for sure.

13:07

So I wouldn't, no, I'm like you, I

13:09

don't want to crack in anyone's toilet and

13:12

I hate going in restaurants

13:14

or something like that. Next

13:18

one, come on. If

13:20

your child was switched at birth and

13:22

you only found out one year later, would

13:25

you rather switch back to your genetic child

13:28

or keep the one you cared for? Get

13:30

both. Both. No,

13:35

but if you couldn't, you could only keep one.

13:38

I'd want my kid back, wouldn't you? Yes,

13:41

I would. I'd want my child

13:43

back, yeah. That would

13:45

be a difficult thing because I

13:49

think you would know it

13:51

wouldn't you? You'd

13:55

like to think, but I don't

13:57

think at that age, a newborn

13:59

baby. you would know. Because

14:01

you would bond with the other child. Of course

14:04

you would. And it would break your heart and

14:06

let it go. You

14:08

wouldn't know your own child. That

14:11

must be weird. I bet that's happened. Of

14:13

course it has. Of course it has. How

14:15

many times have you read over the years

14:18

that people were given the wrong baby

14:20

in a hospital? There

14:23

was a thing where these

14:25

triplets were split up at

14:27

birth. That was an

14:29

experiment, you know that. Was it? Yes

14:32

it was. They found each

14:34

other. Yep. They

14:37

were given, they were even like a

14:40

few miles from each other. All three

14:42

of them were just a few miles from each other.

14:45

I was on the road with Black Sabbath

14:47

one time when I was managing

14:49

my ex. I

14:51

was in Seattle Airport and there was a

14:54

fucking, an

14:56

absolute double of my ex. My

15:00

perfect fucking daughter. And Tonya,

15:02

my ex-wife, just to be

15:04

serious, there's this one.

15:07

I was like, I was

15:09

fucking freaked out. It was

15:12

an absolute carbon

15:14

copy. Weird

15:16

though. Well that would never happen to

15:18

you because you're unique. Only

15:23

one, Rosie. I

15:25

think the world could have two of

15:28

us. I

15:30

think that that's a really hard question to

15:32

answer about a baby. It would fuck you

15:35

up, wouldn't it? Yeah, it would. I

15:38

mean can you imagine if somebody said

15:40

Sid's the wrong baby? Yeah, that must

15:42

be such a difficult thing to do.

15:47

Wow, that's a good question. Would

15:51

you rather be an extremely talented liar

15:54

or a human lie detector? Oh,

15:57

you both. Oh, and you and I. Not

16:00

a you you you have

16:02

harmless you bomb squad. but

16:04

yeah you caught me off.

16:07

you go of really as

16:09

it is. Aware

16:11

you you you could

16:14

lie icons oh so

16:16

hello Tl Zola Zola

16:18

When I like. You.

16:21

Find out or. Then Chile

16:23

as zone. silly cause of.

16:26

When people lie, it always comes

16:28

out no matter how. They're

16:31

doing all farm sorts.

16:34

Yeah yeahs sir has don't

16:37

you talk? To. Me like that.

16:39

Go see a bird lawyer now.

16:44

As a good for good

16:46

argument. It is and net. Know

16:48

like vod that I would rather than. Loves

16:51

to have that guess that you know when

16:53

people are bullshit into you. Pretty

16:56

soon we'll be doing enough of an

16:58

app on your fucking phone. Yeah, Probably.

17:01

A well. He. Blink too many

17:03

times you're a liar. Or

17:06

wouldn't you like to read people's minds?

17:08

know? I went. Number

17:11

of that is every I then. What

17:13

good read the moon. Or

17:16

if I could read through before

17:18

dismissing yes, have a good yeah.

17:21

He. The news is used a what

17:23

they were thinking yeah. And

17:26

with made seems so simple that way,

17:28

you know whether. I know your. Resume

17:31

our seven years ago

17:33

and he he added this

17:36

yeah you say it's.

17:38

Look at a yeah as. I

17:42

write next question. If

17:44

you had to live in a cage for the rest of your

17:46

life, Would. You rather the bars

17:48

be horizontal. Or vertical. Stupid.

17:52

Clusters. Are

17:58

you into. God, that's

18:00

an ugly thought, isn't it? It

18:03

didn't matter. I was

18:05

on the floor vertical. You're in a fucking

18:07

cage in a cage. Exactly. It could

18:09

be anything. I beg

18:12

as hell be sure. Question. Would

18:14

you rather be surrounded by people who brag all

18:16

the time or people who complain

18:18

all the time? Oh, well, Sharon,

18:25

I complain all the fucking time. I'm

18:28

always complaining. It's

18:31

actually just as bad, the people who

18:33

brag or name drop. I

18:36

can't stand that. I

18:38

can't stand it. They get more of my ass

18:41

all the time. Fucking

18:44

name droppers. Yeah, can't take it.

18:46

And the braggers. Paul

18:49

came round and I'm like, oh, my God. Jimmy

18:52

came round and I

18:54

purposely go, George,

18:57

what's wrong? But

18:59

it's amazing how many people

19:01

that are in the public eye who are

19:03

famous to varying

19:05

degrees. And there

19:08

are so many of those people that name

19:10

drop too. Oh, yeah. And it's

19:12

like, oh, yeah. Oh, well, God,

19:15

I was just a divider. You

19:17

know, I said, like... Or I'm going

19:19

over to Oprah's. Oprah. But

19:23

it's like, you know, that's what I do all

19:25

the fucking... When I do that, I go, Oprah,

19:27

who's that? I

19:33

know. Oh,

19:36

when we were on holiday with so and

19:38

so, it's like, oh, I always go, hold

19:40

on a minute. And I

19:42

go like this and then go, oh, you just dropped

19:44

another name. Here you go. Yeah.

19:47

It's very people who are very insecure

19:49

do that. Next

19:51

one. Would you rather

19:54

happy moments become happier? Or

19:56

sad moments become less sad? Hoppier

19:58

moments get... Yeah. I mean,

20:06

sad moments. Maybe

20:09

if you didn't know what either

20:11

was like, if

20:15

you were happy all the time, if you

20:19

were happy all the time, you wouldn't know what it's like.

20:21

He said, I've met

20:24

people, happy people.

20:28

And I sometimes go, no

20:30

one can be that fucking happy. He's

20:33

a friend. Yeah.

20:36

Yeah. I'm happy. A

20:44

jolly person. They

20:47

get on my nerves, they're

20:49

wonderful people. I mean,

20:51

we all have to be Mr and Mrs. Wonderful

20:53

at some times. But

20:56

the people all the

20:58

time go, no one can be

21:00

that happy. All the time.

21:03

Or it's not that happy, that nice

21:05

all the time. Yeah. Services.

21:09

Oh, it's so wonderful to say,

21:11

I want to go, what are

21:13

you, fuck off. Yeah.

21:16

People that are so

21:19

nice, that's not for real. People

21:21

can't be nice all the time. I

21:25

don't know. I think that if you

21:27

don't suffer, you don't suffer sad

21:30

times in your life, then you don't

21:32

appreciate being happy. You

21:34

didn't know what it was like to be sad. You

21:37

wouldn't know what it was like to be happy. Yeah.

21:39

You don't appreciate being happy.

21:41

And it's such a joy. I

21:44

think you'd take it for granted. But

21:46

you can't be, I mean, I think people pretend

21:51

to be happy. I'm

21:53

very wary of them.

21:55

Because it's

21:57

like, I hate your car.

22:00

Oh, don't worry, Elmo. I've

22:02

just been eating bad. Oh,

22:04

it's okay. We'll

22:07

work something out. But

22:10

I'll run out of your tongue if we want it in the

22:12

car. Oh, look at another one. Alright,

22:17

next one. Would

22:19

you rather watch nothing but Hallmark Christmas

22:21

movies? Or nothing but horror movies? Oh,

22:26

Jesus, they're both as bad. But

22:28

you know what? I like a good Christmas

22:30

movie. At Christmas. I

22:33

like how Disney and Christmas movies are. Yeah,

22:35

but Hallmark. I mean,

22:38

Carmelon's still a good watch. Yeah,

22:40

but that's not a Hallmark movie.

22:42

Hallmark movies are really fucking

22:44

cheesy. It's like

22:46

Double Cheeseburger, a

22:49

Hallmark picture. What's a Hallmark?

22:52

You know the Greetings cards? Well,

22:54

in the company, they started out as a

22:56

greeting card company, Hallmark cards. And

22:58

then they went in and made nice movies.

23:02

About nine people. They

23:04

were like super, super, jingle bells. Jingle

23:06

bells, jingle all the way.

23:08

Yes, they're all like that.

23:11

But I don't like horror movies, so...

23:14

I can't watch them slash

23:16

movies. Then it would be the

23:18

Hallmark, cheesy, extra cheesy movies that

23:20

I would pick. I wouldn't want to watch

23:23

them either. Yeah, I hate

23:25

horror movies. You know the

23:27

famous one about Jimmy Stewart?

23:29

Yes. When

23:33

that first got released, it

23:36

got bad slammed. They

23:38

sold it to TV. It's

23:44

a wonderful life. And

23:46

then it became fine, and it

23:48

was just on the shirt. Yeah.

23:52

It was a good actual Jimmy Stewart. Alright,

23:54

next one. or

24:00

a serial killer actually hunting you.

24:03

Oh, police, come on. I'd

24:06

rather have been hunted down by the police

24:08

than a serial killer. Oh, yeah. Because

24:11

this shit ain't going to die.

24:13

Horrible death. Serial killer

24:15

would freak me out. Yeah.

24:18

I like the police anyway. It wouldn't bother me.

24:21

Because they don't like me. Yes,

24:23

they do. Yes, they do. Well,

24:27

it'd be bad that it ain't like me. Well,

24:29

that's their job. But you'd be bad at it.

24:32

What have I ever done that the police would

24:34

want to know about? Buying

24:37

too many pairs of shoes. Throwing

24:39

things at me. Anyway,

24:42

next question. You deserved it

24:45

anyway. Go on. Would you rather

24:47

be free while the most important person

24:49

in your life is on death row for a

24:51

crime you committed, or the most

24:53

important person in your life is free, but

24:55

you're on death row for a crime they committed?

24:58

I'd be on death row for a crime my wife

25:00

committed. Aww. I

25:03

couldn't live without you anyway. Aww.

25:06

And that's the truth. I love you so much. Love

25:08

you too. I don't think I

25:11

could take the smell of piss in prison. You

25:14

can only see how I get another tattoo. I don't know

25:16

what it is. Oh, no.

25:19

Leave yourself alone. I

25:21

definitely want to have the colours done. It

25:24

was a phase. Would

25:27

you rather know how you're going to die or

25:29

when you're going to die? When

25:31

you're going to die. Definitely when you're

25:33

going to die. I don't know how I'm

25:36

going to die. No way. But

25:38

if you know when you're going

25:40

to die, you can prepare yourself and get your

25:42

life in order before you fail. I told you

25:44

about this woman. I wrote about

25:46

this woman. It's a place

25:48

in Switzerland. You can go on. Yes. Yeah, yeah,

25:51

yeah. She was in the

25:53

sevens. She was healthy. She

25:55

said, fuck it. I'm going to go

25:57

now. What else do I want?

26:00

I don't want to have

26:02

some lingering miserable death.

26:05

I think that people have got the right

26:07

to do that. I

26:10

mean if I was diagnosed with some really

26:12

fucked up thing, like old

26:15

time was all fucking... You

26:19

can't wipe your own ass and you

26:21

can't... That

26:23

old time was just

26:25

fucking dreadful. I

26:27

just go, when I can't...

26:32

What I'm doing or I'm a

26:36

walking dead person. Because

26:38

when you lose your marbles,

26:40

you're not really alive anyway.

26:45

Look, my dad, I mean he was... He

26:47

was a great man and he

26:49

was... And he

26:52

ends with dementia. And

26:55

then you get to a point where you

26:57

forget to swallow, you can't swallow. And

27:00

you can't eat and you just... And

27:02

he... The

27:05

couple I see, he was young. Yeah,

27:09

Malcolm. Malcolm,

27:11

yeah. He came right to our

27:14

husband. It's terrible. It

27:17

would definitely be, I

27:19

would want to know when I'm going

27:21

to die. You can prepare yourself and your

27:24

family and everything that way. Yeah,

27:27

I don't care how I'm going to go, I just

27:29

want to know when. Next

27:32

one. Ding.

27:43

Past. Future. Definitely,

27:46

I'd want to know. Past

27:48

me. No, future. Fair.

27:53

Ding. Oh, I

27:55

think it would be great to meet

27:57

your great-great-grandchildren. That

28:00

would be a d S Lives or new

28:02

if the new you are all around us

28:04

ago said us. No. Oh

28:06

no I've if I had the

28:09

lifestyle of know ordinances ago. Goes.

28:12

For. Would

28:14

you know was? Woo! Yeah

28:17

but you want go back. To. Where

28:19

of? Oh no. No.

28:22

Use to said that you choose to

28:24

go back. Closer ties to you. Would.

28:26

You rather go into the past

28:29

and meet your ancestors at mine

28:31

says Martin. Not in an auto

28:33

Fuck you know. A

28:36

disposable susan. One yeah

28:38

definitely deceased. Check out when it

28:40

go back. Fusion.

28:44

Amir. Of it.

28:46

This. Year on my train,

28:48

right? And yeah, definitely. Their

28:50

system. Would. You rather switch

28:52

bodies with your significant other. Or. Switch

28:54

bodies with your kid. says. for

28:57

room a month, significant other.

29:00

Or to of a lot monkeys of their

29:02

own bodies in. Solo

29:05

hopefully. That's a nice thing

29:07

to say. I'd I'd

29:09

have yours. Oh use.

29:13

This. Was. Would. You rather

29:15

have the details of your financial life or

29:17

your love life be made public. Order.

29:20

Some good question. I

29:22

think that when people talk about

29:24

money and all of that I

29:26

think it's such bad taste. I

29:29

I think it's some people don't

29:31

talk about the. Love Love

29:33

Love. Yeah, yeah,

29:35

you guys mine either of us. For

29:40

permits anyway? I'm yeah. I hate

29:43

it when people talk about money

29:45

and what they blast and all

29:47

the tests and as. Image but love

29:49

is the lives I read. The Room

29:51

Read Read the Room. You know

29:53

young, You're talking about people who

29:55

are doing. Like really well

29:58

and the rest of the world's. And

30:00

now and or I hate it. I

30:03

think it so rude. And.

30:07

Yeah. Love life fine. Everybody's

30:09

got one. So. Yes,

30:12

Wouldn't. Bother me. As

30:14

Chris. Would. You rather be stuck

30:16

in a zombie apocalypse. Or. An

30:18

alien invasion early version. Oh.

30:21

Dear. That's. A

30:23

hard one. Zombie

30:26

Apocalypse. all the of of Liverpool

30:28

of our go on of a

30:30

zombie it up. So

30:33

early in the summer Of love

30:35

to my earlier. I

30:38

told you that octopuses part.

30:40

It's octopuses. Yeah, But. I.

30:43

Would love to me in the bay

30:45

It you know what the that aura

30:47

aliens? Why does he have to have

30:49

a body lot? We have. He

30:52

could be something completely at is

30:54

so many different things that are

30:56

Intel is it could do things

30:58

that we can't. Have that

31:00

a octopus The words that flies know

31:02

I was at yes as such as

31:05

is is so clever so. Intelligence.

31:07

It's unbelievable. And because they

31:09

look the way they do,

31:11

people don't actually died. Without

31:15

his family's at all since.

31:17

yeah, I'm. The. Mother

31:19

does most of the rope. Harleysville

31:22

either. So was at Cove

31:24

or fuck mail mercy that.

31:27

Cove yeah, I know if we

31:30

did a horrible, horrible document or

31:32

setting. Playful and ten nice. A

31:34

better than Papers will. Fail

31:37

Am. Now.

31:40

Ah Eilean for move. Yeah,

31:43

I think aliens and may I don't

31:45

one know that fighting and eighteen years

31:47

of as. Mind

31:49

you, Didn't. Know what the aliens

31:51

are gonna do? but at the I'd I'd go

31:53

with the aliens. There.

31:55

For some. Would. you rather always

31:58

have to say whatever is on your mind or

32:00

never be able to speak again. That's easy.

32:03

Always say what's on your mind. I

32:05

always say what's on your mind too. Definitely.

32:08

Can you imagine what it would be like not

32:10

to be able to speak and you had to

32:13

write everything down? It's

32:17

kind of when you lose your hearing. Would

32:22

you rather be deaf or blind? Bob

32:24

Boswell, that's another question. Would

32:27

you rather be deaf or would you have to, either

32:29

deaf or blind? Deaf. What

32:33

would you be? I'd rather be

32:35

blind. I'd

32:38

love to get my hearing back. It's a pain in

32:41

the ass wearing hearing aids. No, I wouldn't

32:43

want to be blind. They

32:45

see me with their hairs. Yeah, they

32:47

do. But you

32:49

wouldn't know what colors, if you

32:51

were blind. And I'd

32:54

say, what color is that? And you go,

32:56

red. You wouldn't know what red looks like.

33:00

A world without color. It's

33:04

not even black and white, nothing. Fuck,

33:07

you know, that sucks. If

33:10

you were deaf, you wouldn't know what music was. No.

33:13

But it's not when I remember doing a

33:15

show once. When I used to go

33:18

on stage, I'm

33:21

up there doing a show. And if this is

33:23

a part of the audience that

33:25

I ain't getting to the show, I'd

33:28

go fucking crazy to get here.

33:30

And I'd go on the stage, like, there's a

33:33

section of yours. There's nothing just standing

33:35

there like, someone come

33:37

out like a fucking murderer and I'm

33:39

not getting to the show. I'm

33:42

throwing buckets of water. I'm

33:44

fucking throwing, you know, you're standing there. About

33:47

15 of a minute in his

33:49

block. I'm

33:52

throwing buckets of water over there and

33:54

I'm fucking throwing cups of

33:56

water and towels. What

34:00

the fuck is wrong with these people? So

34:03

I go to the side of the stage and they go, you

34:06

know what, they're

34:09

deaf. I go, you

34:11

fucking joking. They're all soaking

34:13

wet and... But

34:16

they're deaf. And

34:19

I'm now going to stage, I'm going, I

34:22

am trying to learn instant fucking

34:24

sign language. Only

34:28

you. But

34:31

they can feel vibrations of music. Yeah,

34:33

but what do I want to come

34:35

to a fucking concert for? Because

34:38

visually. I guess. They

34:42

could feel the excitement. Why

34:44

not? I

34:47

love it when you see like there's a

34:51

political, bloody debate

34:54

on and then you always get somebody in

34:57

the corner doing all the sign language. And

34:59

half the time, I'm sure they don't know

35:01

what they're doing. They're just

35:03

there making... That could be that nice size of

35:05

a... Yeah, exactly.

35:08

Next question. Would you rather

35:11

be the only person on earth or

35:13

surrounded by people you don't like? I

35:15

would not. I would want

35:17

to go. Either. Either. Either

35:20

one of them is... As bad as

35:22

the other. Exactly. Can you imagine being

35:24

the only person on earth? Oh, fuck

35:27

that. Jesus Christ, no.

35:29

Loneliness is terrible. No.

35:33

Would you rather be forced to sing along or

35:35

dance along to every song you hear? Sing

35:38

along. Usually dance with you.

35:42

Yeah, but I'd be knackered. Can you imagine

35:44

dancing all night? And you can't... Oh,

35:47

I can't sing. No way. So it

35:49

would be dancing. I'd throw myself around

35:51

all night. Oh, sing. That's

35:54

an easy one for you, though. Would

35:56

you rather have another 10 years with your partner

35:58

or a one night stand? with your celebrity crush.

36:02

Off of it, Tanya's my partner. Oh

36:05

yeah, we want another 20. That's

36:07

how ever. We're going to deal

36:10

with whoever goes, whoever

36:13

leaves this place

36:15

first is going to

36:17

wait for the other, on the

36:19

other side. That's for sure. You're

36:22

not going without me. I know. You're

36:24

not going without me. There are

36:27

some good questions there. There are

36:29

some great questions. Some very difficult ones

36:31

as well. That baby

36:33

one was really tough. There

36:36

was a couple of good,

36:38

really, the only

36:40

one on the Earth was a good one, the last

36:43

one. Off we go again.

36:46

Yeah, I wonder what's going to happen next week.

36:48

I can't wait. It's probably

36:50

me on my own. No,

36:53

it'll just be Elvis here scratching

36:55

at the carpet. Or an

36:58

empty glass. With

37:00

a cigarette by it. No,

37:03

it'll just be Elvis wagging his

37:05

tail. I don't know why it's confession. It's

37:08

less trouble than me and you do. There's

37:11

no arguments. No, I miss Kelly. But

37:15

I do miss my Kelly.

37:19

Yeah, I miss Kelly's little face

37:21

going. I do miss

37:23

my baby. Yeah, she'll

37:25

be back. All right, folks,

37:27

thank you for the questions. It's been

37:29

wonderful. I've had a blast of new

37:32

moment. Always, always, always.

37:35

We'll see you next time. Bye.