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Wildest Celebrity Lifestyles & Outrageous Rockstar Riders | The Osbournes Podcast #210

Wildest Celebrity Lifestyles & Outrageous Rockstar Riders | The Osbournes Podcast #210

Released Tuesday, 14th November 2023
Good episode? Give it some love!
Wildest Celebrity Lifestyles & Outrageous Rockstar Riders | The Osbournes Podcast #210

Wildest Celebrity Lifestyles & Outrageous Rockstar Riders | The Osbournes Podcast #210

Wildest Celebrity Lifestyles & Outrageous Rockstar Riders | The Osbournes Podcast #210

Wildest Celebrity Lifestyles & Outrageous Rockstar Riders | The Osbournes Podcast #210

Tuesday, 14th November 2023
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Episode Transcript

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0:01

Crazy, hey,

0:03

but that's how it goes. I

0:07

need to go to a happier place. I

0:09

feel romantic.

0:10

Turn half posy. Just go to bed,

0:12

darling. Ahh!

0:15

Alright, change the subject. Alright,

0:18

guys. How's everyone doing? Good,

0:20

good, good. Right on. Good. What

0:23

did you think about the convention? Hard work. Yeah?

0:26

Did you enjoy it? Yeah, it was fun. Show everyone

0:28

your cup. Yes. Rocky.

0:31

Yes. Wait, who gave you that? Where'd that

0:33

cup come from? That came from the convention. Oh, someone made

0:36

that for you? One of Daddy's fans gave him that.

0:38

So for listeners, we did the famous

0:40

monsters horror convention

0:43

at the King of Prussia mall in

0:46

Philadelphia. It was like a,

0:48

you know, we did like a signing event. So I finally

0:50

coerced everyone into it. And you

0:52

know, how was it? Did we like it? Do

0:55

you hate me? I

0:57

really enjoyed it. Yeah?

0:58

I think it was good for you, Ozzy,

1:01

because you got to see your fans after

1:03

so many years. After five years,

1:05

you actually got to see some fans

1:07

and they were so happy that you came out.

1:09

I've done them in two or so. And Dad

1:11

did his, with the album releases. Oh, that's right.

1:14

Yeah, you did. You did them on... Comic

1:16

Con. Yeah. But it

1:18

was just, I think, nice for Dad to feel a

1:20

connection to his fans again. And

1:23

I, the best part of it for me was meeting everyone

1:26

and hearing everyone's stories and having

1:29

them say such like

1:31

nice complimentary things that

1:34

you don't often

1:36

believe about yourself. And you don't ever

1:38

hear. Like, you know, like you might get a message on

1:40

Twitter, you might get something, but you don't, when

1:43

it's different, when you hear someone coming up to you being like,

1:45

hey, that really, this really obscure

1:47

thing that you think no one ever saw is like, hey, I loved

1:49

that thing you did. Or when you did this, it made

1:51

me feel really happy. Like, it's just nice.

1:53

So many people said to me when

1:56

I was, I wish that

1:59

I would have... had this sort of reaction

2:01

prior because I thought

2:04

I was literally like just

2:07

a piece. You know, I didn't like myself

2:09

at all. I thought I was the most uncool human

2:11

ever. And to

2:14

have all these people tell me that when they were younger, they wished

2:16

they were me. If I had known that,

2:19

I probably wouldn't have been as insecure as I

2:21

was. It's so nice

2:23

to hear. And the thing that

2:25

I picked up from it big time

2:27

was how people

2:31

miss laughing. And

2:33

so many of the fans came

2:35

to us and say, oh, we love the podcast

2:38

because we can have a right old giggle and

2:41

nobody seems to laugh anymore. Everything

2:44

is so serious that you

2:46

turn on and so much,

2:48

so much dark stuff going on. That's

2:51

why the comedy podcasts do so fucking

2:53

well. People want

2:55

to laugh. They do want to laugh. They

2:57

want to turn off the doom and gloom.

2:58

They want to be silly. They don't

3:01

necessarily want to be so politically

3:03

correct. You just want to be

3:04

silly. I always enjoy

3:06

the kind of the random conversations

3:09

you'll end up getting into with someone. You

3:11

just like, you know, you meet some person

3:14

and, you know, yeah, there's a lot of people who are

3:16

like shaking and nervous. And I'm always like,

3:19

I always feel like I'm like, why are you feeling so silly? I'm

3:21

just fucking nervous to meet me. I'm an idiot. Like

3:23

what? And then, you know, then there's

3:26

the folks that you can kind of strike

3:28

up an interesting conversation with. And yeah,

3:30

it was I enjoyed it.

3:32

I was really touched by the letters I received

3:35

and the gift like, mom, somebody brought

3:37

me a Givenchy bracelet. I

3:40

got a very nice bracelet too.

3:42

I know from the same gentleman. Yes. It

3:45

was quite beautiful. When

3:47

he walked in, everyone went, oh, he's here for you.

3:50

No, because he'd done himself up and

3:52

he looked very, very fashionista. He had

3:54

this incredible

3:55

purple coat on. Yes, the purple coat guy.

3:59

But you know, it's crazy.

3:59

So we had people at the so

4:02

we did the convention The

4:04

Saturday we did and then the following weekend. I went

4:06

and did another one down in Virginia

4:08

no, no, but in Kentucky and

4:11

a bunch of people that were at the convention We were

4:13

at came to the one I was at no

4:15

because they kind of they're in like the horror convention Yeah,

4:18

so a lot of people will jump around keep

4:20

going to horror convention after you know That's

4:22

the ones that I'm usually at and they they

4:25

came over and like had the pictures

4:27

that they high has the fat Yeah, and

4:29

everyone was just like oh, I was lost I was there last week

4:32

and they had their picture and they had me like sign

4:34

it. They had me sign it and stuff So yeah,

4:36

it was uh Yeah, it

4:39

was nice. It was fun. I like doing

4:41

them dad.

4:41

You're not talking to us. No,

4:44

I'm just tired I boo

4:46

I know dad woke up so early this morning. It

4:48

woke me up So and did

4:50

you hear the baby was awake as well? No

4:53

at 4 a.m

4:54

Would be quiet

4:56

no me and dad have been up since I never

4:58

I never heard you last night I went

5:00

to bed early and all he

5:02

kept saying I'll come up don't worry and

5:04

he was doing his artwork Don't

5:06

know what time you got in and then when I woke

5:09

up you were gone

5:11

Burn in the midnight oil what

5:13

what artwork you working on right now anything

5:16

new? No, just Just

5:18

the doodles. Mm-hmm. Didn't we how

5:20

many how many does he have? thousands

5:24

of Finished work. Oh,

5:26

this was last year that we catalog

5:28

them but last year it was

5:30

So it's

5:33

more than that now

5:35

that there You should

5:37

see what people buy for artwork

5:39

and trust me your stuff is artwork There

5:42

are people that like smear their ass on

5:44

a canvas and they're like it is art It

5:47

is like a free ball. Yeah.

5:49

Did you ever see the fucking banana on the wall?

5:52

So what I've heard of it, but knock her on the

5:54

moon It's fucking

5:56

a banana that they duct taped

5:58

onto a canvas And

6:01

it came with an instruction manual and

6:03

it sold for like hundreds of thousands of

6:05

dollars But

6:06

that's taking the piss.

6:07

No because they said the artwork

6:10

it wasn't it's actually kind of genius No, I

6:12

thought it was genius because the artwork

6:14

wasn't the banana to the wall. The

6:16

artwork was the explanation in the manual

6:20

So you're buying the manual to tell

6:22

you because the banana will go old so

6:24

the manual explains how to replace

6:26

the banana regularly and That's

6:30

that's what they're paying for is the instruction

6:32

manual still a wind-up. I think it's hilarious.

6:34

I think it's great What's the weirdest artwork

6:36

you guys have ever seen? I

6:38

Remember the weirdest one I've seen the

6:42

what was it at Elton's the the

6:46

dog poo

6:48

Don't go on go we know

6:50

the flies is the

6:54

Tank is just thousands

6:57

and thousands of dead flies.

6:59

Is that a Damien Hurst thing? It's

7:02

got

7:02

no who's it by. Oh, I think the

7:04

do the dog is with the

7:07

one with Tracy Emmon and Tracy

7:11

Emmon and She I can't

7:13

remember what she wrote around it, but

7:16

ever it was just on a plain bit of paper

7:18

like this light lined And

7:21

She'd cut off some of their pubes and stuck

7:23

it on a piece of paper and wrote

7:26

something But it was no more than like four words

7:28

and that's the strangest artwork I've ever

7:30

seen framed of course

7:36

I'm not into the whole like Painting

7:39

with period blood and

7:40

puking up the colors that

7:41

I see that I I like her She's

7:44

a friend of mine,

7:44

but you like her foot because you know her I

7:47

would never would you buy one of her pieces? I

7:50

don't know if I could who there's that

7:52

artist that drink brown who drinks

7:54

the colored Wait

7:57

Millie Bobby Brown no

7:58

Millie Brown is her name and they're both named Millie

8:01

Brown and they're both English but

8:03

one pukes and one is an

8:05

actress. Yeah.

8:06

Um,

8:08

but yeah, she pukes up, she drinks like, like

8:10

colored liquids. Oh, different things. And then pukes

8:12

it up, it's color and that's her, that's her

8:14

paint. So she just pukes on canvases or like

8:17

tops. It's like performance

8:19

art really. Yeah, I don't like that.

8:21

I think it's cool. No,

8:23

not into that at all. It's gonna do terrible

8:26

stuff to her inside. Yeah, there's

8:30

not much longevity in that. No, very good.

8:32

But what if she tried it? It would stink. Yeah,

8:36

it's gotta be, oh.

8:36

Full of acid from the tummy.

8:40

It's one way to like, yeah,

8:43

I don't know. It's a weird one.

8:45

I did see something online yesterday

8:48

and it was some art show in New York where

8:51

a guy, it was like a performance

8:54

art thing and a guy was naked on his

8:57

back with his legs up, knees up by his shoulder.

8:59

So his ass was in the air and he had a candle stuck

9:01

in his ass and he was holding onto these poles.

9:04

It's a candlestick. Yeah, and people were

9:06

just dragging him around this, this, and

9:08

everyone's just sat there going, oh yes,

9:10

this is very, this is some fantastic

9:12

art. What is it really saying? What is the message? We're

9:16

all- But that's, that's taken it to a ridiculous

9:18

level. We're all flaming assholes. You

9:21

know, that's not art.

9:24

It's something,

9:25

but I guess that's the whole thing. It's like art is,

9:28

if you say it's art, it's art. Yeah. It

9:31

took about five seconds to do that.

9:33

I guess it just depends

9:36

on how loose his ass was. If you're buying

9:38

something like that, it's a sign that you got

9:40

too much money. Yeah.

9:42

And like they had, I can't remember

9:44

the artist that did it where they cut the

9:46

cow in half. Yes. And they-

9:48

Taxidermied or whatever. Yeah. Oh

9:50

my God.

9:51

They did it with the sharks

9:52

too. Yeah. He's got

9:55

a gallery somewhere in Nuremberg.

9:57

Yeah, didn't like that either. I

9:59

went to see the- bodies in

10:01

Vegas, the bodies exhibition, how they

10:03

have the everything from the human body like

10:06

preserved. And it was an artist

10:08

that did it. And it's really, it's

10:10

really weird. When

10:11

you see the muscle, what's the most

10:13

interesting part of the body?

10:15

I think what I found most

10:17

amazing is that they had an entire

10:19

human nervous system removed

10:22

from the body. So they had all the nerves. How

10:24

can they do that? They inject

10:27

some kind of like, like

10:30

liquid plastic or it's like a dye

10:32

and then they it's like the plastic kind

10:34

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12:36

right. So we wanted to kind

12:38

of, we've been getting a lot of questions coming in from

12:40

the podcast, you know, as the weeks

12:42

are rolling on, a lot of comments, things like that. People

12:46

had a lot of questions about like

12:49

celebrity stuff. Like what is your

12:51

like celebrity, like your

12:54

lifestyle? Like oh, I have to have,

12:56

you know, I have to have this water when

12:59

I work or I have to travel

13:01

like this. Or like what is your like ritzy

13:03

celebrity thing?

13:05

Well, your dad is always

13:08

so basic. I remember, you remember like

13:10

the stuff you used to have on your rider

13:12

in your dressing room was so minimalistic. So minimalistic.

13:15

It was, you know, just a fruit bowl. Fruit

13:17

bowl, cottage cheese. Water, Gate Grade. On the Sabbath day, we

13:19

never realised.

13:20

I never realised. We were paying for it. So

13:22

we'd have like banquets back in the days.

13:23

Yeah. It's

13:25

just, you know, what do we ever have? Cheese plate, fruit plate, some tea. Yeah.

13:28

That's a lot of food. I think there's a lot of food in the kitchen.

13:30

Yeah. You should have some of that. I think it's

13:32

a lot of food. Well, we've had a lot of food lately. We've had a lot

13:34

of food. Yeah. I mean, you know, I think it's a lot

13:36

of food. You don't have to have so many.

13:38

I mean, it's just

13:40

so basic. It's

13:52

ridiculous. Yeah, it

13:55

depends what country I'm in, but

13:58

I think my most extravagant request

13:59

There's always the cookies

14:01

the cookies as we as we see right here.

14:04

We can't but I'm I allowed to say what Brian Okay So

14:06

if it's in England, it has to be a jammy dodger Has

14:09

to be yeah if we're in America it has to be

14:11

a Peppert farm mint Milano and

14:13

people know that that's the way to my heart and

14:16

it's Gonna be my birthday. So

14:18

That is my birthday present Kelly

14:22

is not the cookie monster. She's the cookie

14:25

Queen. Yeah I'm only the cookie monster

14:27

when I wake up in the morning and one of them is like stuck

14:29

to my face Well,

14:31

can you imagine if you've got it caught and you've creases

14:34

in your neck? Oh mom, I've done that.

14:36

Do you remember? Do

14:38

you remember when you used to smoke rolly cigarettes in

14:40

bed? Yeah, do you remember when? The

14:43

bag fell open in bed of rolling tobacco

14:46

and the whole club of it was stuck to mom's ass.

14:48

Oh, yeah

14:49

God Jack terrible

14:54

Like my

14:54

Nothing

14:59

like some Virginia gold

15:01

Oh God, do you remember just

15:03

how much dad used to smoke? Yeah Do

15:05

you ever think about that? How much you used to smoke sometimes?

15:08

I miss it

15:10

Yeah, it's the the habitual

15:12

side of it. I imagine if there is

15:14

there is like a

15:15

stress relieving component to smoking where

15:17

you're just like Like

15:19

you can kind of just turn things down a little bit

15:23

Because it makes you breathe deeper.

15:24

Yeah.

15:25

Yeah, it slows your breathing down. Yeah, that's exactly

15:28

it You kind of take a breath with

15:30

it.

15:30

But why are you so your must-haves are cookies What

15:33

are your must-haves when you go do like when

15:35

you when you were doing?

15:36

Your show what was like your every day like

15:38

okay. I must have this on set

15:42

Absolutely nothing Sometimes

15:44

you have porridge

15:45

Oh a bit

15:47

of oatmeal water or

15:49

a cup of tea that would be it

15:51

and your thing and your copy of mine

15:53

comp because you're such a racist Don't

16:00

forget that, you know, you're just, you're

16:02

getting hair and makeup and just flipping through. Yeah,

16:04

yeah, easy reading. Um,

16:07

no, I've never been

16:09

one of those people, you know, that, or

16:12

even, even when I go to a hotel, I don't

16:15

send, you know, a rider

16:18

beforehand that I want this type of pillow

16:20

and this type of towel

16:22

and... I mean, now that I have a baby,

16:25

I have a different rider.

16:26

Yeah. Because

16:27

it's just stuff for him. I'm

16:29

trying to think, I think, I think the most extravagant

16:32

thing I ever did was when I was getting really

16:34

fucked up, I was asked to like host a party

16:37

and they were like, oh,

16:39

we want you to like, it was, it was for Sims. Remember

16:41

the video game Sims? It was like Sims 2 or

16:44

something, it was coming out and they asked me to

16:46

like be the host of this party and it was like, they

16:48

rented this like crazy big house in the hills

16:51

and I think I requested just

16:54

huge amounts of drugs. Oh

16:56

my god. And, and

16:59

like, I was like, I want a, I want

17:01

to, I want a room that's

17:03

just full of like pills and

17:05

weed and like hookah pipes and

17:08

they did it. Shut up. I

17:10

swear to god. Where did you

17:12

get the pills from? I don't know. It sounds

17:14

like, um, Wayne's World.

17:16

It was, it was literally, I was like, I

17:18

just was like... Oh, that was a good party. Yeah,

17:21

it was fucking great. And I just remember

17:23

like, I was... I

17:25

was always scared to push it. I'd never

17:28

ask for something like that. I just

17:29

didn't, I just didn't give a shit at that point. I'm 17

17:32

years old. Yeah. And

17:34

I was like, this is fucking nuts.

17:37

What,

17:37

who would do that for a, if a 17 year

17:39

old kid came up to me and was like, I

17:41

would like this drug and that drug. I'd be like, get fucked,

17:43

where are your parents taking you home? It

17:46

was a different time. It totally was.

17:49

I mean, the shit that like, you

17:51

know, you see there's like Tiktokers and YouTubers

17:53

who are like massively famous and they're

17:55

young, whatever. I'm like, wow.

17:57

Like

17:58

it's a totally...

17:59

It's so different. So different.

18:02

What is your favorite thing or has

18:04

been your favorite thing about being famous?

18:07

I can buy a thing,

18:10

I can buy things

18:13

before it was a spirit

18:15

of a stripe.

18:17

I think it's the experiences.

18:19

And you see

18:21

more interesting people.

18:25

What's been your one favorite, like,

18:27

what about you? What's your favorite thing about being

18:29

famous?

18:31

Generally, how nice

18:34

people are when they come up to you. I

18:36

mean, I don't think I've ever had

18:38

anyone come up to me, other

18:41

than people I work with, and

18:43

go, you know,

18:45

they go up, how's the family, how's

18:47

the kids doing an Aussie and

18:50

things like that. And it's just really nice.

18:53

And even the paps don't bother me, because

18:55

the paps are something

18:58

that so many celebrities

19:01

want, and celebrities

19:03

end up controlling the paps,

19:05

because they'll tell them where they are. They

19:08

want their pictures taken. They

19:10

strut out to get their pictures taken,

19:12

and then, of course, they roll their eyes, oh,

19:15

you know, the paps, or they'll give them the finger,

19:18

and you know. But they're basically controlling

19:20

them. Yeah. Not

19:23

everyone, but there are a lot. And

19:25

I have always said this, if you want

19:27

a private life from the paps, you

19:31

can have it. I know where to

19:33

go and where not to go if you don't

19:35

want to be. And unless, listen,

19:38

there are times, like, you know, there's paps

19:40

parked outside of our house, and the only place

19:42

your dad ever goes to is the doctor, and

19:45

they're always getting going in and

19:47

out of the doctors, and then you go, you've

19:49

taken it too far. Now it's too

19:51

far. Yeah.

19:53

Well, because they... But don't you find

19:55

that, and I found this, that since Instagram,

19:58

it's kind of...

21:57

So

22:00

it's been completely redone.

22:02

All right, it's completely redone in the threes

22:06

Okay, what

22:08

it's over two hundred and seventy five thousand dollars.

22:10

Yeah,

22:11

I couldn't believe it my my fj You

22:14

know my my old Toyota

22:16

truck that I have. Uh-huh. There's a company Near

22:19

my place that will redo it and

22:21

they did one and they sold it for three hundred and

22:24

sixty thousand dollars

22:26

It's so crazy. Doesn't your

22:28

friend redo Bronco's there?

22:29

My yeah, my very good friend redo So

22:31

if you do want one Kelly

22:33

buy it He'll do all the work.

22:35

I just have to find the shape I want Yeah, yeah the frame

22:38

and then but even if you want to find an old

22:40

one you say hey go find me this and

22:42

he'll Do everything and he'll just do it, you

22:45

know, he won't he's not gonna up. He'll

22:47

just do it for the yeah You know time

22:49

and with his costs

22:52

But they're just like this

22:53

this Bronco dealership that's out

22:55

of it oddly enough out of Atlanta There's

22:57

so many classic like car collectors

22:59

out of there and it

23:02

Like it's it's lavender and it's so

23:04

beautiful and it's so perfect and I was like, let's

23:06

see how much it is I

23:17

Never feel 190 and anywhere

23:19

I could get you on I

23:22

could find you on Don't

23:24

know if you really wanted a 190

23:27

you could they they come up on auction every now

23:29

and then Because yours was uh

23:31

yours was a little for 90, huh? What

23:35

no, she calls us? Yeah cause

23:37

with engine. Yeah, I don't actually

23:39

I don't know if you could get the cause worth over Yeah, I

23:41

think it might have just been a European thing. Please get him

23:43

imported if you really wanted one You

23:46

can find him. There's a you know, these auction

23:48

sites and stuff where collectible cars go up and yeah

23:51

Everyone

23:53

it's Jack Osborne

23:54

and Kelly Osborn

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40% is a big deal. It's, yeah, it's

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I'm actually gonna go use that code myself. What

26:29

has been your worst paparazzi experience?

26:33

We didn't say worst. I got a fucking

26:35

list of that. I just don't,

26:37

you know what? They don't bother

26:40

me. I remember when we went down to Malibu that

26:42

time. And we went into that shop.

26:45

And we came out and there was about 50 of

26:48

them outside. Yeah,

26:49

but they don't, honestly, honestly,

26:52

really, I don't get offended by

26:54

it. I don't, anything, it just doesn't

26:56

bother me. Just don't follow me in

26:58

a crowd. It's a bit of a nudge

27:00

when you're trying to do some shopping.

27:02

I just think it's dangerous to other people and the way

27:04

that they drive so crazy.

27:05

I can't come in the shop, but you go

27:07

out and it's like, and.

27:10

The worst is when I've had people, I've

27:13

had people follow me into shops when they

27:15

had like the old school video cameras. Yeah.

27:18

Like the DV cameras. And they would like try and sneakily

27:20

film you in a shop with like an old video.

27:23

We were in a supermarket one day

27:25

and the guy couldn't come in. So

27:27

he sent the 11 year

27:30

old daughter in, following us around with the

27:32

camera. It's a bit

27:34

shit.

27:34

Yeah, I remember last

27:37

Christmas, the paps followed

27:39

you to school and we were all there with

27:41

the

27:41

babies. Oh yeah. And you lost it. I

27:43

fucking lost it.

27:44

They shouldn't follow you

27:46

to where your children go to school.

27:48

I mean, there comes a point where you gotta say,

27:51

this is not cool. Again,

27:54

I bring it up.

27:56

Paparazzis need to be licensed.

27:59

Yeah. have to follow guidelines. They

28:01

need to have a number on so if they step

28:03

out of line you can take a picture, you know

28:06

who it is, there are guidelines. And

28:08

two, do you know what needs to be

28:11

licensed?

28:12

Regulated? Yeah, drones.

28:14

Drones. Well drones are regulated now. Yeah,

28:18

massively. There's massive, like you have to go to an

28:20

FAA school. If you are using

28:22

a drone, even just as like a, if

28:24

I buy one, you have to apply for a license online.

28:27

If you're using a drone... You do have to have one

28:29

now. Yes, you do. And you have to register the drone

28:31

with the FAA so they all have serial numbers

28:33

now. And it's just like an online thing you can do. How

28:36

can I register a

28:38

number when you jump in the air? Well, you take,

28:41

if it crashes, if it's involved in an accident,

28:44

something like that. Oh, yeah, they'll fly

28:47

on the next airplanes. Yeah, and

28:49

that's why it happened because the thumb nearly hit. Yeah,

28:51

at the airport. The

28:53

slippery slope though is with, if

28:55

you say to Taperazzi,

28:58

because they fall under being

29:00

news, so it's protected by the First

29:02

Amendment. And so the slippery

29:04

slope is that if you go, oh, there has to be regulated,

29:07

they have to be licensed, that

29:09

then applies to the news. And so now the government

29:12

can be like, oh, we're not going to give this news

29:14

person a license because we don't like what they say.

29:16

And that's when it gets... But the

29:17

thing is, they should be licensed so

29:19

that they can only tell the truth, not

29:22

their version, because

29:24

depending on what news you're watching,

29:27

they give their own version.

29:30

Never the straight facts. No.

29:32

What's the, you know, I find it always interesting

29:35

about anything, anything I see in the news.

29:37

And I always have to observe

29:39

it through my own lens of, think

29:42

about when you read something written

29:45

about us or an interview that

29:47

we've done and how it's

29:49

always a little off.

29:51

It's never, it's never, even when

29:53

you've sat

29:53

with a journalist and done, you

29:55

know, an actual sit down interview, it's

29:58

always like a bet. It'll

30:00

be 10 to 15 percent off. And

30:02

so I always what do you mean when you say?

30:05

Because it's through their eyes. It's not

30:07

through your in their interpretation

30:10

and their

30:10

If you get

30:12

an interview, yeah, just anything that

30:14

you read about yourself. It's always a little bit supposed

30:17

to go and I guess you

30:18

What did you feel? What when you go you answer

30:20

the question? They

30:23

don't also the answer

30:25

And there's some of them don't answer

30:27

the question but then they will turn

30:30

around and add something like He

30:34

he looked very nervous as he was giving

30:36

his answer.

30:36

Yeah, or you know Well,

30:39

I mean just think about right now. I know it's a shit

30:42

tabloid rag, but what you just read

30:44

about yourself In whatever

30:46

news magazine you were just reading upstairs

30:48

and it was a picture of you and mom. Yeah, and

30:51

like it was That

30:53

was an integer. They got that information off this off

30:55

the pod They'd taken quotes from

30:57

the podcast and then created this a

31:00

time do you know I know but I'm just saying

31:02

I was using The example of the media interview

31:05

or not. It's always a little

31:07

off whatever they write about us So

31:10

and I always have to apply that lens to

31:12

any news story I ever read but but

31:14

I can't Can't

31:18

put Blight and lies

31:20

They in America they can they can dad

31:22

they can literally in the end there's

31:24

complete freedom of the press So if you

31:26

you go in in June this day

31:29

Did you say such as about so they

31:31

they can't

31:33

miss quote you but they can lie

31:35

based on their own Perspective so they can

31:37

go you know Ozzy Osborne

31:39

seemed like a homicidal maniac to me

31:42

and I feared for my life So

31:44

the journalist can write that because that's

31:46

his perspective. It doesn't surprise them

31:49

Yeah, and it but so it they

31:51

can do was So

31:56

it is you know that it's a slippery slope

31:59

England's different

31:59

because there is a lot of media. I'm

32:02

sure the kids don't have to think about kids,

32:04

you can't.

32:05

You can't actually- If

32:08

you haven't

32:08

seen pictures of that child printed,

32:11

you can't be the first. The press

32:13

can't be the first to print a picture of a

32:15

child.

32:16

If they're private, in England there's private citizen

32:18

laws, America doesn't apply. So

32:21

you can post a picture of a celebrity's child

32:24

on the American newspaper, but in a British newspaper

32:26

you can't. But in the British newspaper,

32:29

they're supposed to be a bit more- The standards

32:32

are supposed to be a bit more regulated because there isn't complete

32:34

freedom of the press. The headlines are just

32:36

like, Dun dun dun,

32:39

you read the article and you're like, what the fuck?

32:41

Oh yeah, and because they know people are only

32:43

ever going to read the headlines.

32:44

They're like, um,

32:47

here it always amazes

32:49

me still when they write a story

32:52

and it can be nothing. Somebody's out shopping

32:55

at bloody whatever supermarket

32:58

and so and so wore no bra as

33:00

she was out shopping. It's like, why

33:03

do you always have to talk

33:05

about the way somebody's body is? Or

33:09

see through, you know, see

33:11

through shorts. But it's always that

33:13

way, but they never say it about men. His

33:16

muscles were bulging as he held

33:18

his basket.

33:19

And his chesticles were- Right.

33:24

His

33:24

chesticles were leaning on the handle. He

33:27

clearly wears tight briefs. Yes.

33:29

Is that a song I see?

33:31

Have you ever done

33:34

a rockstar move and tried to punch a paparazzi?

33:36

No. No?

33:37

That's not violent like that.

33:40

That's not where-

33:42

Yeah. The thing is, if you-

33:45

What was that guy in England?

33:48

Jum'er'quai. Jum'er'quai. Jum'er'quai.

33:51

Wait, what did you call? Jum'er'quai.

33:54

Jum'er'quai. Jum'er'quai. I'll

33:56

call you. He

34:02

pulls up in a Rolls Royce

34:05

and he's in some

34:07

premiere in London and

34:09

somebody bumps the side of his Rolls.

34:12

He gets out of his Rolls and the guy goes, what

34:15

are you fucking doing?

34:17

He walks forward, gets in by the

34:19

car, head busts him in his

34:21

face. I mean, smacks

34:23

his head in his face and he

34:25

gets back in his car and I go.

34:29

I had a couple times

34:31

paparazzis try to

34:33

instigate me to fight. Yeah, all

34:35

the time. I've had that. I remember you and Google around

34:38

Thomas Market one day and they were

34:40

trying to taunt you. Yeah.

34:42

Oh, you think you're tough? You want to fight

34:44

us? You want to fight us? Because they were like crowding

34:47

around me and Pearl. She was little

34:49

at the time and they were really being kind of not

34:51

cool. Yeah. And I was like, guys, come

34:53

on, just fuck off. You

34:56

don't need to be this close. Go stand over there.

35:00

Yeah, they would just, and a lot of them, what

35:02

they'll do is, what I found was

35:04

that back then a lot of guys

35:06

would come into town. So they would

35:08

be from either Europe or South

35:10

America and they would come in for a few

35:12

months, cause all sorts of problems,

35:15

get reactions, and then they would fuck off and you'd

35:17

never know who these people were. So

35:19

and I have a video

35:22

of this guy being like, oh, you think

35:24

you're a tough guy. You want to fight me? Let's go.

35:26

Let's go. I'll fight you right now. Sometimes

35:29

it's somebody else. Are those

35:30

like, okay, go and

35:32

ask this question. Yeah.

35:34

I think the worst is when they

35:37

used to be this trend in London where

35:40

they would have two guys

35:42

and

35:43

one guy would stop

35:45

you so they could get a picture up your skirt.

35:47

Yeah.

35:48

The old upskirt. And then, or it would

35:50

be that they'd physically trip you. So you fell.

35:55

But I also never did myself

35:57

any favors cause I was

35:58

always fucking shit.

35:59

safe around them and there's

36:02

like awful pictures of me like leaning up against

36:04

a brick

36:04

also last movie you

36:06

saw him was moon case

36:09

i think it was from the enemy awards

36:10

for new orleans were both ensue

36:13

fully to you on go

36:15

into the co

36:16

two falling into that oh

36:19

number that right literally

36:22

love to fucking pirates

36:25

yeah it's it's i remember

36:27

one that

36:28

fucking city british

36:31

tv host came as through water

36:33

on you

36:34

lot was channel four and you know

36:36

who they did it to me and tom

36:38

cruise yes and i'm

36:41

think they were trying to shock

36:43

people yeah i was this

36:45

was gives as a as they were like as it is

36:47

true was your most dangerous snowy oh my

36:49

god let me let me explain tuesday

36:51

reason they would go to openings

36:53

him or email opening

36:55

other right and movie red carpet

36:58

events and i was

37:00

seeing somebody for a meeting

37:02

and it was above the cinema

37:04

important bello where they were having a

37:06

red carpet event but i was just

37:08

going in there for a meeting so i

37:10

crossed the red carpet and this woman

37:12

said to me would you think about sell

37:15

me a going to say and i went no i'm not i'm

37:17

trying to get in ness she goes oh

37:19

really wash i

37:21

would have gotten

37:22

around to see that

37:24

i don't i had a light

37:26

pink leather jacket cost

37:28

me like an iso

37:30

always that these days wearing this it

37:33

was some i was be a mean

37:35

the most beautiful jacket and

37:37

it was very very thin let us and

37:39

it had watermarks all over

37:41

it

37:42

so

37:43

i called that channel four

37:45

spoke to die at read channel four a

37:47

time and he said said you

37:49

didn't think it was funny i said no i was

37:52

on my way to a business meeting actually

37:54

i wasn't even to their to watch the

37:56

movie it's and he was laughing and

37:58

i said i'm when you going

38:00

round to your mums again and he

38:02

goes Sunday why I said

38:05

can I come in and throw a glass of water at

38:07

it would you laugh then

38:08

I've

38:10

never read carbon and she's got a dildo

38:14

that

38:17

was the same woman that threw that was

38:19

the same woman that threw water on mum and

38:21

I know her

38:22

I knew I knew her you know I placed

38:24

her in the street yeah you threw a bucket of water

38:27

I

38:27

went for her after it happened

38:30

I thought you're not gonna get away with it I

38:32

was legging it through Pimlico

38:34

and then you know where all the

38:37

stands are in the street they sell

38:40

fruit and flowers and all of this

38:42

and I legged it and there was a guy selling

38:44

flowers I said I'll be back I took his bucket

38:47

with flowers in threw the flowers out and

38:50

whoosh I got her

38:51

yeah good she was a

38:54

fucking one

38:55

of these like two-bit

38:57

like hustler trying to make her fucking name well

38:59

she did it the next day

39:01

the next day she did it

39:03

to Tom Cruise and Tom Cruise

39:05

grabbed hold of her hand like this and

39:08

he just said could you explain to

39:11

me why did you just do that to me and

39:14

she was trying to get away from him and he said no

39:16

tell me why did you just do

39:18

that to me what is the point of

39:20

it

39:22

you know she said nothing

39:24

yeah so what was it that journalist

39:26

you were on a red carpet and she had a dildo

39:29

I said a microphone inside of a dildo and

39:31

all the press were she was amongst

39:34

all the press dildo

39:37

and she's like hey I

39:39

know I know I know I just didn't

39:41

didn't pay her any attention she

39:43

what she was holding up to your mouth no

39:46

I'll add Mike's

39:48

issues she was

39:50

moving along she moved along yeah

39:53

at the end of it I'm turning around the corner

39:55

she goes I think I remember this

39:58

it was the GQ

39:59

It was like a GQ award thing. So then

40:02

she goes,

40:03

do you see where I'm holding my hand? Yeah.

40:06

What do you

40:07

think? Nothing? She was like, oh.

40:10

Just completely let down by

40:13

it. She's completely like, fuck it.

40:16

She's like, I'm going to get that fucking thing

40:18

away.

40:19

I just...

40:20

Yeah, you didn't get what you wanted. Yeah.

40:23

If you don't react,

40:24

the fucking jokes on her. Yeah.

40:26

I just think it's so distasteful.

40:29

I mean, when you react to something... Woman

40:31

to woman. What they

40:33

want to wind you up about. You're

40:36

the weak one because you let it get to you. How

40:38

do you know that I chased her

40:40

with the fucking... I remember seeing those Pat pictures

40:42

of you throwing water at her. So

40:46

layered. Did they ever end up

40:48

using the clip on that show? Because I know you tried to get them

40:50

to not use it.

40:51

They didn't use it and they sent me a check around

40:53

the next day to replace my jacket. Oh,

40:55

okay. I'm still... Six

40:58

grand. Fuck,

40:58

you know. But do

41:01

I... That was six grand, what, 2005. Oh,

41:03

God. I got a lot of money back then. I got

41:05

a few jackets on. Oh,

41:08

I spilled a drink on my coat. Yeah,

41:11

he did.

41:11

But he didn't. I think

41:13

because of the way I put it, I said, can

41:16

I come and throw it on your mother and see

41:18

if you laugh. And I think

41:20

that's what did it. He's penny-finy. It's

41:23

a bit of a cheap

41:25

shot when somebody wants to see

41:27

your reaction. That's all they're doing

41:29

for you. Yeah. To see...

41:31

Oh, I remember this. Ryan

41:34

Seacrest was at an Oscar event.

41:38

He was doing the red carpet, doing interviews

41:40

for the Oscars. And some actor,

41:43

I can't even remember who it was, came

41:45

with Flower.

41:46

And threw it at him. Yeah. It

41:48

was Sasha Baron Cohen dressed as the dictator.

41:51

That threw the ashes on Ryan Seacrest.

41:54

It was supposed to be ashes.

41:57

But it was Flower. Yeah. Poor

41:59

Ryan.

42:01

I know but it's Sasha Baron Cohen so you're probably

42:03

like alright I'll just go with it. He is funny. He's

42:05

fucking hilarious. He was a really nice

42:07

guy when I met him. Whatever, I'm just a

42:10

guy that's a million. You look

42:12

like a

42:12

million. Hey Jon, you look like a million

42:15

later.

42:16

Oh I don't know what

42:17

happened to him. He was fucking great. Yeah.

42:20

He was. I remember John

42:22

Cohen was good. He had

42:23

the big phone and he would sit. Kimi Mallet.

42:26

No. No, Kimi Mallet.

42:28

Don Jolly. It wasn't Don

42:30

Jolly. It was. It was not Don

42:32

Jolly. It was a. I think it was old.

42:34

It was a lot. It was before Don Jolly right? It

42:36

was before Don Jolly.

42:38

Yeah. Don Jolly.

42:39

He picked up where he lived. I thought

42:41

Don Jolly was so funny. Me too. When

42:44

he would have people, people would walk down like an empty street

42:46

and then all of a sudden like a thousand people would

42:48

come out of alleyways like the rest of the characters

42:51

were chasing him. I don't know when he'd get one of them silly

42:53

little devil. I hope he

42:55

was a plastic sleep uncle. He

42:57

rings the door, but he goes. But

43:01

I got an invite to a black master. I

43:03

go, what? Don

43:07

Jolly's a British comedian who had like

43:10

a prank show in England for a time. It was very

43:12

funny, but he was like good family humor.

43:14

It wasn't nasty. It wasn't. It

43:16

was like it was like a show you could watch with your kids. And

43:18

it was but it was funny for everyone. Yeah.

43:21

Do you remember the size cell phone?

43:23

Yeah. No.

43:26

Shit. And he'd be in a movie and he'd

43:28

like pick it up. He'd be like, no, I'm in a movie.

43:31

It's shit. The

43:34

phone was like the size of this desk.

43:37

It's funny. I'm

43:38

trying to think of that guy's name.

43:41

Oh, the one that used to talk about the old

43:43

he said to Bill Wyman's wife,

43:45

what's it like being married to

43:47

an old rocker?

43:48

No. So you're into antiques.

43:51

That was right. What

43:53

do you mean?

43:53

Well, you marry an old rocker.

43:59

just mean.

44:06

What has been, okay, to that, what has been the

44:08

meanest thing anyone has ever said

44:10

to you like fan or paparazzi

44:12

or anything like that?

44:13

I mean, I've been called

44:16

everything, but I

44:18

think probably.

44:21

What stuck with you? What's been the thing that just.

44:23

There's this one time that it stuck with me because

44:25

this guy thought he was complimenting me and

44:27

he was a pap and I was outside of 14 karat

44:29

gold and he he goes, I

44:32

just want you to know that like

44:34

everyone thinks I'm crazy. And I was like,

44:37

why?

44:38

And he said, well, because I think

44:41

you're hot.

44:42

And I was like, that's not a fucking compliment.

44:44

Like that

44:46

was not a compliment at all. But

44:49

you're hot. That people think he's crazy

44:51

because he finds me attractive. I'm like,

44:54

that's that's a backhanded compliment. And

44:56

I was really confused as to why this

44:58

man came up and told me this mind

45:01

fuck. I know. I was like,

45:03

wait, what? You like thank

45:06

you, I guess. Yeah.

45:09

But don't you think I have this thing

45:11

of when people say things

45:14

about you, you think, well, doesn't

45:17

have any truth to it. Do I am I?

45:20

And sometimes you think I am a bit.

45:22

Yeah. But some people

45:24

would want to

45:25

be mean. Well, yeah. But

45:28

the thing is, if you don't respect

45:30

that person, but

45:31

the thing doesn't mean anything.

45:34

It's when you react. If you if it doesn't

45:36

mean anything, if

45:37

you react

45:40

that one. Yeah. But

45:42

but

45:42

what I'm saying is, if somebody who

45:44

you really respected in the industry

45:47

wrote something about you, it would

45:49

hurt

45:50

you. Right.

45:53

I look at Tony. I tell

45:55

him in the car. Well,

45:58

when I was less.

45:59

in the interview.

46:02

And he said something to your audience. Tony,

46:04

I never forgot that. Three years later, he

46:06

had to... Yeah, he

46:08

was doing an interview with this guy. I think

46:10

it was NME. And the guy

46:12

wrote something very, very

46:15

cheeky about him.

46:16

Not cheeky funny. It was really

46:18

taking the piss. And

46:21

Tony saw him at a gig.

46:23

In Glasgow, three

46:26

years later, he

46:28

fucking beat this shit out of him.

46:31

He did. He did. Was this

46:33

like back in the 70s? Yeah. He beat

46:35

the fucking crap out of him. He said, what are you doing?

46:38

He said, Tony, what's this? He said,

46:40

you all right, man? He

46:41

said, yeah, he said, you won't be in about fucking three

46:45

minutes. Whack. Oh,

46:47

the good old days. But like, here's the thing.

46:50

I do find that kind

46:52

of interesting how

46:56

people that write stuff either comments online

46:58

or journalists that write things. Oh, I remember.

47:01

I'll tell you what. Do you remember

47:03

in the Japanese tour when

47:05

Jakey Lee was on the... And

47:08

the guy flew out from England

47:11

to do a piece on Jakey Lee.

47:13

And because it was my band, I was

47:16

trying to get on a drink. Just let

47:18

me know. I said, that fucking article. I

47:23

went to interview

47:26

Jakey Lee and then the big shot came

47:28

up. I said,

47:31

what the fuck to you?

47:33

He said, what did that dude for fucking deserved

47:36

that? And he goes, well, I was trying

47:38

to

47:41

make a name for myself.

47:43

Yeah. But I

47:46

find it that people think that they shouldn't

47:49

be held accountable for the words

47:52

that they write. So

47:53

it's like, oh, I can write whatever I want, say

47:55

whatever I want. In my game, for

47:58

one, there's something bad about you.

47:59

about a thousand pounds of right

48:02

back. Yeah. Yeah.

48:03

But two, the thing is, it's

48:05

down to the, um, how many

48:08

times have you met somebody that you don't like

48:10

and you can turn around and they

48:14

many times a journalist won't

48:16

like you and they'll basically

48:18

say it in words. Yeah. So, I mean,

48:21

that's the thing, but that comes with

48:23

everything that you do when you're an artist.

48:26

Didn't. Well, well, well, well, why did

48:28

I put someone? That's

48:31

wrong because a journalist should be in the

48:33

middle, in the middle. If you

48:35

don't like yourself, they're

48:36

still human beings. Yeah. Yeah. They're

48:38

still human beings.

48:39

And you know, it's all for everyone.

48:41

I'm not for everyone. It,

48:43

it must be a pain

48:45

in the ass when your boss comes to you and is like, you have

48:47

to write an article about so-and-so and

48:49

you don't.

48:50

But I'm not saying you're going to get

48:52

someone you like to, but you

48:54

have to have someone who's unbiased.

48:56

Yeah. But you should

48:59

buy rights yet, but it doesn't work

49:01

that way. Well, I don't know.

49:02

It's not my cup of tea, but you know, here

49:04

we go. Didn't Rolling Stone back

49:07

in the day, didn't they like

49:09

always write shit about Sabbath and then? Nobody

49:12

ever wrote, we never got really

49:15

good reviews on our album.

49:16

Sabbath's first review was

49:19

about six or eight lines and

49:21

it just said how terrible

49:24

this album

49:24

is. But then it didn't

49:26

write. They should, they'll

49:28

never write another album.

49:29

But then years later, Rolling Stone

49:32

issued an apology for the first review

49:34

of the Sabbath album. Yeah. I mean, that's kind

49:36

of, at least they owned it, you know, like fucked up.

49:39

But they, they, they, they, they, they, they,

49:41

they, they, they, something you'd really review

49:43

and you'd think, you know,

49:46

just some of those, reviews our

49:49

album, some tracks,

49:53

track by track, you know, nothing

49:56

like that. Yeah.

49:57

I mean, how many times have you guys met people that

49:59

you say? I'm gonna really dislike

50:01

this person. Yeah, and then you're like, oh

50:04

wow, they're actually really cool Yeah,

50:05

I've often had the opposite

50:08

to where I'm excited to meet someone and I got disappointed

50:10

Yeah, anyone that I'm a fan of I don't

50:13

I don't I won't meet anymore like

50:15

sure Yeah, the thing is in

50:17

my experience.

50:19

I build up in my

50:21

imagination what I think they're like and I'm

50:24

somewhat disappointed when I make

50:26

them Yeah, like I

50:29

don't

50:30

You know like I I've said this like I'm

50:32

a you know, I listen to Joe Rogan a lot I'm a

50:34

big fan of the Joe Rogan podcast like I listen

50:36

to every time he's got an episode out I

50:39

don't think I would like not that he probably would ever

50:41

have me on but like I don't think I would

50:43

ever go On the podcast because I don't want

50:45

to ruin that like I get I get so much

50:48

joy out of that He seems

50:50

a pretty fair guy though. Yeah He

50:52

said it's really good. Yeah, like I would

50:54

I would I just I don't know I just I'm like, yeah,

50:57

don't don't meet people you like it's always a disappointment

51:00

Who's been who's been like the celebrity

51:02

disappointment?

51:03

Disappointment. I was just thinking about the people that

51:05

I've met that

51:06

I was like your everything Really

51:09

yeah, I've never really had Madonna

51:11

was that for me really? Yeah No

51:16

opposite and she was like everything

51:18

and more that I was like Like

51:22

it,

51:23

you know cuz I worked for her for a few years.

51:25

Yeah material girl Yeah,

51:28

and I

51:29

had quite a lot of interaction with her

51:31

and her daughter Lola who is just

51:33

I think she's I

51:35

Think she's incredible. No. Oh

51:38

a lot Five.

51:41

No. No, she adopted three

51:44

three and she had to have a nice.

51:46

Yeah and

51:49

But yeah, she was everything more like

51:51

I got to see the bitchy side

51:54

the mothering side The all of it it

51:56

was it was amazing and I was taken

51:59

aback by it

52:00

It's for me sometimes it's the people that you

52:02

think are gonna be really funny and Like

52:05

have a great sense of humor and then you meet them and

52:07

you're like, oh my god There is zero

52:09

giggles in you you

52:10

you hung out with Chappelle a few times I

52:12

knew it's everything and more I've always wanted

52:14

to meet Dave Chappelle and I know you

52:20

Every time I'm anywhere where he is He

52:22

always sends over like a glass of champagne

52:25

or like when I drank or something like he's

52:27

the nicest

52:29

Coolest guy

52:30

ever. Oh, he's the best comedian out there. Yeah,

52:33

I think he kind of he's like transcends comedian

52:35

He's like a you know Like back in the day there

52:38

would be like these great thinkers that would just

52:40

share their thoughts with people like he's up there

52:42

Would like a he's more of like a philosopher He's

52:46

not then in my

52:48

book is where what's your name? Richard

52:51

Pryor, you know

52:53

Better than Richard Pryor and I thought

52:55

in his day Richard Pryor was great

52:58

Yeah,

53:01

but you what's been your who's been your your favorite

53:04

meat you got to meet some amazing people

53:06

doing the doing your old Oh

53:07

my god, did I ever

53:09

I mean just the most incredible

53:12

people?

53:14

Well Jason Momoa

53:16

Aquaman

53:22

Yeah, you do The

53:25

act the act of the Hawaiian guy he

53:27

did your music video he's in Yeah,

53:30

yeah,

53:30

he's lovely very very

53:33

nice natural. He's just a natural

53:35

big guy. Yeah. Yeah,

53:38

he's fantastic Yeah

53:41

Of course Liza Minnelli. Oh my god,

53:43

she would that was amazing Meeting

53:46

guys Liza Minnelli was just incredible

53:48

at the Hollywood Bowl and then with

53:50

the few things that I did with her for Matt Yeah,

53:53

I did the raw variety

53:55

with her and she's just Amazing

53:58

just amazing.

53:59

Who is it that you? You always tell

54:01

the story. It was Elizabeth

54:04

Taylor when you met Elizabeth Taylor. Yeah, it

54:06

was. When I was a kid, I'll never forget

54:08

it.

54:11

You

54:13

know, you're impressed when

54:15

you look like five or six years old. My

54:17

dad said to me, one Christmas Eve, my

54:20

dad says to me, you

54:22

can stay up late tonight because I'm going

54:25

to show you the

54:26

most beautiful woman in the world.

54:28

Now I took that literally, I thought, I'm

54:31

going to see the most beautiful woman in the world,

54:34

thinking that I was going to see the

54:36

most beautiful woman in the world. And

54:39

I was like, I was like, wow. I

54:44

was in pretty, you know, I was there.

54:47

It was amazing

54:49

when she was sitting next to me. I

54:51

just went back to that. I was like, fuck

54:54

me. Yeah. Yeah. Imagine, yeah,

54:56

I bet in a million years, your dad probably never thought.

54:58

I mean, sitting

54:59

next to dad on the couch.

55:02

It was just for me.

55:06

I thought of my dad.

55:09

I thought, okay, what

55:11

would

55:12

he be if he was here to see

55:14

us? You met her at the Betty

55:17

Ford Center because she was

55:18

taking the lecture. I never met her. I

55:21

was at the Betty Ford and she came. I

55:23

made a speech to the whole fucking place. No,

55:25

he's talking about how he went out of the house. Oh, yeah. When

55:28

we did the, when you had your cancer and

55:30

foundation thing. So we

55:33

had had, mom was hosting a charity event

55:35

at our old house and Elizabeth

55:38

Taylor came. No, no, no, there was

55:40

like, love George Lucas was

55:42

there. No, but that was that. Tony

55:44

Bennett. Yeah, Tony Bennett was there. Think

55:47

about the people that were there that are no longer here.

55:49

Mm-hmm.

55:50

I mean,

55:52

the next door neighbor, Coomba,

55:54

Arden, and the female compliance

55:57

to it. Well, you control.

55:59

to Elton John and his band the other

56:02

day. You're like, I'm sorry.

56:05

Sorry you got to listen to a private show. That's

56:07

what I've always kind of, like you said, the experiences

56:09

of like-

56:10

Like when we went to Winter Castle

56:12

for

56:13

Beatrice's

56:14

18th birthday and that

56:16

was really-

56:17

Surreal.

56:18

Surreal and crazy. And I remember me

56:20

and Jack, because I'd never

56:22

been to a Royal event before. I didn't understand

56:25

the concepts of the seating plans and how they separate

56:27

you to get you to talk to each other. And

56:31

when we and Jack saw that we weren't sitting next

56:33

to each other, we both looked at each other like, oh my god.

56:36

Yeah.

56:37

Yeah, it's that. But like, that's the thing that I've enjoyed.

56:40

Like I don't- It's funny. Like I don't-

56:43

What we do, like what I do,

56:45

I don't- I'm not my job. You

56:47

know, I do TV, I do what I do just because

56:50

it's like, okay, this is a means to like

56:52

making money and like providing for my kids.

56:54

Like I'm not one of these people that is like, oh,

56:57

you know, I am a TV

56:59

host. I am- I'm not a tease. Yeah.

57:02

I'm just like, it's a fucking job. For me, it's just a job. And so

57:04

I'd never really look at it. And I

57:06

think

57:07

doing-

57:08

I've always looked at it like doing

57:11

what I do is- Yes, there

57:13

is a level of fame that's associated with it,

57:15

but I always just see it as a byproduct. Yeah.

57:18

Like this is a result of the job that

57:20

I'm in. Billy Bob Thorne is a really nice

57:22

guy. He's a- Billy Bob- He's a

57:25

gen. He's a lovely, lovely

57:27

guy. Yeah. Really, really

57:29

great guy.

57:30

And Nicholas, we went to Nicholas Cage

57:32

and it was- Yeah. That

57:36

guy's no longer with us.

57:38

John Hurt.

57:39

He was nice. He was great.

57:41

Yeah.

57:42

So was, so was, what's his name?

57:45

A comedian guy who is-

57:48

Oh, Jim Carrey. Jim Carrey was lovely

57:51

man. You know who I actually really enjoyed? I

57:53

had a couple really awesome interactions

57:55

with was Val Kilmer. Yeah. You

57:58

said I've always- I've always been-

57:59

Yeah, puff round and seem you

58:02

should well

58:02

I mean if we're talking about all the celebrities that

58:05

I tell you who I was like so surprised

58:07

at how cool she was with Julia Robert

58:10

I've heard I've heard that she

58:11

was so cool And I

58:13

can't remember exactly what it was but she caught me doing

58:15

something in the bathroom And she like laughed at me

58:17

along like it wasn't drugs or anything

58:20

like that mom it was like

58:22

I was just being stupid in the mirror and

58:25

She caught me and then mimicked me and I I

58:27

just remember thinking why you're actually really cool

58:29

Yeah, I remember standing

58:31

next to you somewhere. She's walking

58:34

down it down. I was walking

58:35

away from it She's

58:38

looking at me Fucking

58:41

I Remember

58:43

when

58:44

Beyonce said I was handsome. Oh,

58:46

yeah

58:46

Like

58:48

oh you're very handsome and I was like, oh

58:50

really She's

58:54

divine she's a nice

58:56

lady. Yeah, her and Jay-Z were very

58:58

very nice when

58:59

we really had my back She

59:03

defended me on something yeah

59:05

one time and I was like I will never

59:08

forget that yeah, they're very classy

59:10

people

59:10

Yeah. Oh, yeah,

59:11

I tell you who else is really

59:14

funny She's got a great

59:16

sense of humor is Mariah. Yeah She's

59:20

wickedly funny. Oh, no, you

59:22

got to tell the fucking Whitney

59:24

Houston story

59:34

Dancing

59:36

with the stone I had no idea

59:39

mother Noah She come down

59:41

the middle of the down the floor and she stopped and she looked

59:43

at me in my direction I

59:45

didn't realize she's looking at me. I'm thinking I'm she's sure

59:51

I'm thinking oh my her what the fuck

59:53

about it trying to think have a nice woman

59:55

before Fucking done so much

59:57

to her if you walk through something I'm

59:59

thinking Oh no, I'm dead.

1:00:02

I'm dead. And she goes, says

1:00:04

to you, mom, I said to you, mom,

1:00:07

you never told me you knew Whitney Houston. Oh

1:00:10

yeah. Your mom says, you never asked. Wait,

1:00:13

yeah, you gotta tell that story. Okay,

1:00:15

I was hosting

1:00:17

the Divers, the VH1, and

1:00:22

I was at sound check and Whitney

1:00:24

was up on stage doing her sound check and

1:00:26

her little girl obviously

1:00:29

liked watching the Osbournes and

1:00:33

she came up and sat next to me,

1:00:35

gorgeous little thing. And

1:00:37

then suddenly her dad came

1:00:40

and sat the other side of me, Bobby. And

1:00:45

she's Whitney's up there singing and

1:00:47

then she stops singing and the track's

1:00:49

still going and so slowly

1:00:52

the track stops and she goes down and

1:00:57

she goes, Mrs. Osbournes, I'm

1:00:59

like,

1:01:00

are you trying to fuck

1:01:02

my husband?

1:01:03

Ah, no, no, please,

1:01:06

I'm not.

1:01:07

I

1:01:12

went running, running down the aisle.

1:01:15

And I'm like, no, no, no, you don't

1:01:17

understand. No, no, no, I wasn't. I

1:01:19

wasn't. She goes, let me see that ring. And

1:01:22

she looks at the ring and said, I'd love you to have

1:01:24

it. I gave her the ring, anything.

1:01:27

I remember the ring, it was a huge square

1:01:29

of just parvay diamond. And so

1:01:32

I gave her the ring through her at her. I said,

1:01:34

I promise you, I'm not interested in

1:01:36

your husband. I'm married. And

1:01:39

then she goes, all right then, okay.

1:01:41

And then she came back and spoke

1:01:45

to me. I went back to sit next to her daughter

1:01:48

and she goes, we have dentist

1:01:50

appointments, we've got to go. I said, oh,

1:01:52

well, the show's in two hours. She

1:01:55

said, no, the dentist here in my

1:01:57

dressing room.

1:01:59

to feel good dentist.

1:02:01

And

1:02:03

then after that we'd see

1:02:05

each other and she was just you know very

1:02:07

nice lady. It's

1:02:09

pretty cool though that you got to watch Whitney Houston do

1:02:11

a sound check. Well

1:02:13

I was done through the start of the year

1:02:16

she was. She wasn't on what I was it was Kelly's

1:02:18

year. My year and it

1:02:20

was sad but

1:02:21

she was always so nice to me whenever

1:02:24

I saw her. Lovely lady, lovely. So

1:02:26

nice. Talk to us

1:02:28

all. Yeah

1:02:29

very funny.

1:02:30

Bette Midler, remember Bette Midler my

1:02:32

birthday in Vegas. Listen

1:02:33

Bette Midler found one of our dogs

1:02:36

and called it she had one of our dogs. How?

1:02:39

She used to live behind us on Doheny.

1:02:41

Oh I didn't know that. Yes and she called

1:02:43

and said she'd got our dog and she's

1:02:45

just lovely lovely neighbor. Yeah

1:02:47

she was awesome. Give me a

1:02:49

she she called me backstage

1:02:51

and just she had a birthday

1:02:53

cake and candles.

1:02:56

I'm not fucking home.

1:02:58

His 60th birthday. Yeah I remember that.

1:03:00

Vegas. Yeah. With the Caesar

1:03:02

salad girls.

1:03:03

What was that?

1:03:04

That was what her backing dancers

1:03:06

were called.

1:03:07

The Caesar salad girls. Yeah because

1:03:09

it was

1:03:09

a Caesar salad. She's fabulous. She's fabulous.

1:03:12

That's funny. Yeah

1:03:14

just fabulous.

1:03:16

Yeah I mean you know definitely you

1:03:18

guys have met some pretty

1:03:19

fucking cool people. I don't really know anyone though.

1:03:22

Well you always say that but you

1:03:24

know everyone. I'll tell you a story about Bette

1:03:28

Midler.

1:03:28

Your mother and I were an item

1:03:31

at that point. We went to a theater perform

1:03:35

and I got fucking dumped.

1:03:39

Out in John's show.

1:03:41

No we go

1:03:43

and see Bette Midler at the Greek theater.

1:03:48

No sorry it was universal.

1:03:50

It wasn't about me. It was

1:03:53

out in John and you and Belle

1:03:55

dumped me.

1:03:55

No when we went to see when we

1:03:57

went to see. Universal amphitheater. Yeah before the rules.

1:03:59

was on

1:04:01

and there was me, my

1:04:03

friend Bell,

1:04:06

Gary Moore and his

1:04:08

and Ozzy and we arrived,

1:04:10

we arrived late. Right,

1:04:13

and Gary Moore you know was a punk so he's

1:04:16

dressed as a punk, Ozzy's

1:04:18

dressed as a rocker so

1:04:21

we go in and Bette

1:04:23

is singing and we are right

1:04:25

in the front

1:04:26

row

1:04:27

and we are like oh no and

1:04:30

she's singing and we're trying to get

1:04:32

to our seats so we're like this

1:04:34

trying to get to the seats

1:04:36

and she goes

1:04:38

stop the music. Do

1:04:42

you want me to start again? We'll start again because

1:04:44

these people know how this

1:04:46

is.

1:04:46

She goes there's always one

1:04:49

fucker that arrives

1:04:50

late. Did she know it was Dad and Gary

1:04:52

Moore? He wouldn't

1:04:54

have known Gary but she would have known Dad

1:04:56

then and she went there's

1:04:59

always one fucker that's late at

1:05:01

every show and I've got four of them

1:05:03

right here and you go oh beam

1:05:06

me up Scotty and then on he goes

1:05:09

she's not going to ask me to sing with her

1:05:11

is she? I said oh fuck off.

1:05:14

That's funny.

1:05:18

But she's brilliant, just brilliant

1:05:21

one liners.

1:05:22

Do you guys ever wear a disguise when

1:05:25

you go out? No.

1:05:27

I know you don't because when we were doing World

1:05:29

Detour you insisted on going everywhere

1:05:31

even those shitty airports in the middle of nowhere

1:05:34

you'd be like no I'm Ozzy Osbourne I have to be Ozzy Osbourne

1:05:36

everywhere and I'm like put a fucking hoodie on and a baseball

1:05:39

hat and we'll sail through. I

1:05:41

didn't want to

1:05:44

be Ozzy Osbourne.

1:05:46

Dad just being himself. I know, I know.

1:05:49

But my favourite is when Dad does things that I

1:05:51

think is really cute like he'll

1:05:54

walk out somewhere he goes I can't wear my

1:05:56

jewellery and I'll be like okay

1:05:58

why and he'll say well done.

1:05:59

know it's me and I'm like I think they already know

1:06:02

it's you.

1:06:02

I don't think

1:06:04

it's the jewelry that's the giveaway.

1:06:06

But it's little things like that and I

1:06:08

think that that just goes to show how dad

1:06:10

doesn't walk around this planet thinking that

1:06:12

he's one

1:06:13

of the most recognisable humans.

1:06:15

You might have picked a goal watch.

1:06:17

It

1:06:18

might be, it's harmless. Should

1:06:21

just take your arm. It's

1:06:22

true. Do

1:06:23

you get recognised often? Yeah.

1:06:25

I never do. Why Jack I've got purple

1:06:28

hair. No I know.

1:06:29

It's not. It's like

1:06:32

it's a bit you can't really miss

1:06:33

me. Jack just don't draw your hair

1:06:36

purple. Do

1:06:38

you get you you get people coming up to you a lot?

1:06:41

Sometimes. I usually get cups. More

1:06:44

more

1:06:44

often more often at home

1:06:46

and in New York somehow. Yeah

1:06:48

I never actually today was the

1:06:50

first time in probably

1:06:55

months and months like maybe a year.

1:06:57

I was walking into 7-11 this morning

1:07:00

to grab a drink and this guy was walking

1:07:02

out he's like hey I see you Jack. I'm like hey

1:07:04

he's like I saw in that special forces show. I remember

1:07:07

going to rehearsal in in the ballet.

1:07:09

I go to my old

1:07:11

guy Tony stop here at 7-11. I want

1:07:14

to get a packet of smokes.

1:07:17

So I go in there's a cup.

1:07:19

I scratch

1:07:21

him with his gun and he goes. And

1:07:23

he goes

1:07:24

get it get it get it away. I

1:07:27

walked on he walked in with a steak

1:07:30

out. So

1:07:33

the cup goes get

1:07:35

out get it behind me. I'm behind me. He

1:07:37

stuffs me goes hey you're

1:07:39

rising. In

1:07:42

the middle of a shootout. It's like something I've got all Western.

1:07:44

They're

1:07:46

all around. Typical Aussie.

1:07:49

You're walking at the wrong place. Stop

1:07:54

it there's not many people in there. I can

1:07:56

surf. Get it

1:07:58

in the back of the shelf.

1:07:59

Everyone's dead inside. You're just like, What's

1:08:02

up dead bodies? What

1:08:05

is this live show you're doing? Because I didn't

1:08:08

hear anything of it and then I see something online. Okay,

1:08:10

what it is, it's called Cut

1:08:12

the Crap. And it's

1:08:15

a show I'm doing in theaters.

1:08:19

And it's in London and it

1:08:21

starts mid-January.

1:08:24

I'm only doing a couple of them. And I'm doing

1:08:26

one in Birmingham and a couple in London, that's

1:08:28

all. Cool.

1:08:30

So what is it though? Yeah,

1:08:31

what is it? Okay, it's Kate

1:08:34

Thornton. You remember my mate Kate Thornton?

1:08:37

She's going to be the moderator. She's going

1:08:39

to interview me and then I'm going to take questions

1:08:42

from the...

1:08:42

Oh, so it's kind of like a live podcast kind of thing.

1:08:45

Yeah. Oh, fun.

1:08:47

Yeah, I think so.

1:08:47

Because when

1:08:50

I read the description I thought, oh, is this like another vagina

1:08:52

monologue thing you're doing?

1:08:53

No, no, that's...

1:08:56

I mean, there's going to be questions that

1:08:58

she's going to ask me, but I don't know

1:09:00

what she's going to ask me, Kate. But she

1:09:03

is going to ask me a lot of questions about my

1:09:05

life and then answer them and then

1:09:07

do a Q&A. About

1:09:08

how you're just a massive racist.

1:09:11

Oh, for God's sake, Jack.

1:09:18

Oh, God. Give me a break,

1:09:20

someone. It's

1:09:23

like nearly three years. I

1:09:25

know. I'm still... She's got to

1:09:27

laugh at it. What? You just

1:09:29

have to laugh at it. I know.

1:09:30

Kelly, any plans for your birthday?

1:09:32

Absolutely none. Could you put your birthday

1:09:34

hat on, then?

1:09:35

Yeah, put your little birthday hat on. Happy

1:09:38

birthday to you.

1:09:39

If I can get it on.

1:09:42

There you go.

1:09:43

No, it's so cute. Happy

1:09:47

birthday.

1:09:48

Yeah, and what

1:09:51

am I doing? Well, it's the last year

1:09:53

of my 30s.

1:09:54

Yeah. Like that meme I sent you. A

1:09:57

person with jolly, something jolly. It

1:09:59

wasn't Dom Joly. Dolly, we're talking about Kelly's

1:10:01

birthday.

1:10:04

And still trying to figure that fucking

1:10:06

goal, man. My team and I are all

1:10:08

going to dinner tomorrow.

1:10:11

And then...

1:10:12

What do you want to accomplish in your last year of being

1:10:14

in your 30s?

1:10:14

Last year of 39. Probably

1:10:17

I might... No.

1:10:19

Have another baby. No, I'm going to do

1:10:21

that one in my 40s. Why

1:10:25

wait?

1:10:26

Why wait? Because I want a baby in the

1:10:28

house for as long as possible.

1:10:30

Well, have two babies.

1:10:32

You don't want to wait. Do

1:10:34

it now. Just knock it out. Trust.

1:10:36

Just do it. Just do it. Yeah, really.

1:10:39

Do a brother sin. Because here's the thing. Here's

1:10:42

what I will tell you. It's better to have them closer in

1:10:44

age because you're going to like get

1:10:47

used to like a whole routine with like Sid

1:10:49

is like a toddler and is a, you know, is being

1:10:52

like a little young dude. And then

1:10:54

all of a sudden you're going to you're going to inject a baby

1:10:56

and it's going to throw it all on the head. And

1:10:58

it's just a lot. So if you just kind of go, all right, he's

1:11:01

still a baby. I'll have another baby while he's a baby. So I'm

1:11:03

just dealing with two babies. Definitely.

1:11:04

Well, anyway, I

1:11:07

also I don't really care about my birthday anymore

1:11:10

because I have Sydney's birthday to

1:11:12

plan and it's his first birthday

1:11:14

a

1:11:15

week,

1:11:16

less than a week after mine. Yeah. And

1:11:18

two days before mine. Now I get to get out of jail

1:11:21

free card for my birthday for the rest of my life.

1:11:23

So I've been planning his birthday

1:11:25

party and we did the last run through. Because

1:11:28

you're you're you're Scrooge. You fucking

1:11:31

hate Christmas. But if

1:11:32

you forget that on Christmas, he remembers.

1:11:34

He does.

1:11:36

But yeah, I've been planning baby Sydney's

1:11:38

birthday. And who are

1:11:41

the performers? The

1:11:43

the beat buds. Yeah,

1:11:45

I know those guys. Yeah, my yeah.

1:11:47

The beat buds. And

1:11:49

we have I instead of doing

1:11:51

the animals this year, I did something that

1:11:53

I think they're going to like more.

1:11:55

What is it? I have a slime station. Oh,

1:11:58

you can make your own.

1:11:59

I'm gonna love that. So

1:12:02

I think that they'll be excited for that. The

1:12:06

first thing that all the parents asked me

1:12:08

when I told them that I was planning

1:12:10

Sydney's birthday party was, is

1:12:12

it gonna be a bar?

1:12:14

Yeah, but

1:12:17

it's Sid's birthday, not fucking

1:12:19

your birthday.

1:12:20

No, but it's just as much for the parents.

1:12:22

No, no, no, no.

1:12:24

You said no. You

1:12:26

know what I do? It's

1:12:29

like I could never understand

1:12:31

why I sold beer with Chuck E.

1:12:33

Cheese. I don't know.

1:12:35

I agree, but what I always

1:12:37

do is I just get some beer, some wine,

1:12:40

and you just leave it off to the side.

1:12:42

That's exactly why. That's all I want

1:12:44

to do.

1:12:44

If you want a drink, bring your

1:12:46

own. So

1:12:47

it's not an open bar? No.

1:12:50

Okay, because when we say bar, I

1:12:52

always think of just like, you know, just

1:12:54

some fucking... Anyone for cocktails? No,

1:12:56

it's a guy who does like two

1:12:58

drinks that are pre-designed, and

1:13:01

it's a guy just making the two drinks. And

1:13:05

they're

1:13:05

like mocktails that

1:13:07

have smoke coming out of them. That's

1:13:09

an...

1:13:09

No, just literally

1:13:12

get a fucking six pack of Corona and a six

1:13:14

pack of fucking white claw,

1:13:17

and you'll be good. What is it with this

1:13:19

fucking white claw shit? There's no law

1:13:21

when you're down with the claw, okay? I

1:13:24

think it tastes like poison. Because

1:13:26

it is. No,

1:13:27

I wouldn't get a bar some way.

1:13:30

No,

1:13:30

it's not a bar. It's literally like a

1:13:32

pre-designed drink that is... But

1:13:34

why barf?

1:13:36

Dad, would you mind waking up?

1:13:38

I was trying to think of that fucking guy. Oh, okay.

1:13:42

A guy on the tip of my tongue as well.

1:13:45

Come on. What is that? Are you

1:13:47

thinking

1:13:47

about the guy with the red hair who's

1:13:49

our friend? No,

1:13:50

look, the guy who is a... You know,

1:13:53

Joan, you look like a million liter. Yeah.

1:13:55

That's fucking...

1:13:58

It's like a nine...

1:13:59

that could be

1:14:02

Dennis

1:14:05

pennies Dennis Dennis

1:14:07

pennies. Yeah, I remember him Dennis pennies.

1:14:10

All right. Well, let's go Let's wrap

1:14:12

it up. You want to say goodbye? I'm so oh I'm

1:14:15

so glad we

1:14:17

got the name

1:14:18

It would be been fucking truly

1:14:21

no Dennis motherfucking

1:14:22

Dennis. What happened to him? What happened to

1:14:24

him? Because he's been trying to figure out the name. What happened

1:14:26

to him is he's going to shove up somebody's ass. We will

1:14:29

we have we will find out what happened to Dennis

1:14:31

pennies. We will research it. I spoke to

1:14:33

his member. Oh

1:14:35

god

1:14:37

All right, well that's the show. Bye. Bye.

1:14:39

Bye everyone. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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