1:03

Hey everyone , it's Erin

1:05

Anderson with the Erin Anderson Betrayal

1:07

Trauma Coaching . I

1:09

am super excited that you have tuned

1:11

in . Today . Let's get talking

1:13

about how to heal from betrayal trauma . Welcome

1:16

to the other side of the struggle trauma

1:19

, how to heal it and then how to take it

1:21

and use it to unlock your

1:23

mission and your

1:25

potential and

1:45

to use it to live your very

1:47

best dream life . When

1:50

you're dealing with betrayal trauma , it

1:52

can be hard to know how

1:54

to heal it , how to stop the pain

1:57

and to know what your next steps

1:59

are to take in your own life , and

2:02

these are the questions that we try

2:04

to answer here . Trauma has

2:06

the ability to rob us

2:08

of our joy and identity , which

2:11

is why it's so miserable to

2:13

experience . But

2:15

with the right tools and with the right

2:17

mindset , we can totally

2:20

reclaim that joy and

2:22

even use this trauma to strengthen

2:25

ourselves . So that way

2:27

, trauma does not knock

2:30

us off of our joy

2:32

again . Living your

2:34

dream life should be a non-negotiable

2:36

, but trauma

2:39

tends to try to negotiate

2:41

that with you . And even

2:43

though trauma is not

2:45

something that we will completely ever

2:47

be free of in our life

2:49

, the pain is

2:52

negotiable . This is why

2:54

I created Erin

2:56

Anderson Betrayal Trauma Coaching

2:58

and this podcast is

3:01

because I want my

3:03

listeners , I want my

3:05

clients , to live

3:07

truly live free

3:09

from the prison that trauma

3:12

can put you in . I

3:14

want you to live on

3:29

the other side of the struggle . Hey

3:33

everyone , welcome back to another episode

3:36

of the other side of the struggle . Today

3:38

I wanted to talk to you guys about

3:41

the nice guy . I know

3:43

we've already kind of talked about it right A

3:46

few episodes ago we had

3:48

my good friend , trevor Henniger , come on

3:50

and chat about it and actually I'm going to ask him

3:52

again to be on with

3:54

us very soon to again

3:57

chat about the nice guy Because , as I've

3:59

been learning about this and

4:01

it it's it's a very

4:03

important topic to talk

4:06

about , um , for

4:10

a couple of different reasons . Number one you guys have

4:12

heard me talk about the three different types

4:14

of men . You know that I normally

4:16

see you've got the mild , the medium and the jalap

4:19

right , but

4:21

nice guys

4:23

kind of fall into all of those categories

4:26

and I

4:29

also see a lot of my clients who

4:31

come to me with a husband who has

4:33

the nice guy syndrome and

4:36

the problem with this is it's anything

4:38

but nice . This

4:40

is what is literally going on behind

4:43

closed doors and

4:46

it drives the people around

4:48

them crazy . And the

4:50

other problem with this is everybody

4:53

is always enamored with how nice

4:55

of a guy they are are

5:08

. So when you are reacting to their not so nice moments , everybody around them thinks you're the

5:10

problem , because you're the

5:12

one that's not acting nice . You're

5:16

the one saying something is wrong , something

5:19

is not right , something is not

5:21

nice . He's

5:23

not behaving this way , this is not normal

5:26

for him . Or

5:29

sometimes you

5:32

just end up feeling completely crazy

5:34

because they're

5:38

very good at also mental manipulation

5:40

tactics that are very underhanded

5:43

, very subtle , and you

5:45

don't even realize it's happening . So

5:49

let me give you kind of an example of

5:51

what I'm talking about . Okay , say

5:57

that there's this husband and there's this

5:59

wife , okay , and

6:01

the husband is known

6:03

as a really nice guy , but

6:08

he's into porn and

6:11

he's hid that pornography addiction from

6:13

her For years and years and years

6:15

and years Until . But

6:17

she starts to suspect something's wrong because

6:20

he has these really

6:22

big mood swings at home . He

6:25

gets really really snappy with her and

6:28

then love bombs her and then he snaps

6:30

at her and then he love bombs her and he's

6:32

doing this mental yo-yo with

6:34

her Right , and

6:39

then when she asks him

6:41

, do you possibly

6:44

have a pornography addiction . I mean these . This

6:46

is one of the signs he

6:49

says why on earth would you think that about

6:52

me ? Haven't I been loyal to

6:54

you ? And

6:57

he tends to and he starts

6:59

to talk about all the ways he's been loyal to her

7:03

. Remember last year when I bought

7:05

you all that jewelry ? I was completely thinking

7:07

of you . I'm

7:12

so good to do the dishes for you . And

7:15

he love bomb , love , bomb , love bombs her . And

7:18

then he turns around and

7:20

complains to her about

7:22

how she doesn't do enough , or

7:30

how she's not giving him enough sex , or how she's not doing enough . She's not enough

7:32

, she's not enough . And causing her to

7:35

work herself crazy , trying

7:38

to show her affection

7:41

and her appreciation and take

7:43

care of him and believing

7:45

that she's somehow crazy because

7:47

she doesn't feel

7:50

safe . But she can't

7:52

necessarily explain why

7:54

. That's someone that's

7:56

possibly married to a nice guy , because on

7:59

the outside he's everybody's

8:01

hero . If there's

8:03

ever a time that

8:05

somebody needs something , he's the first

8:07

guy on it . He hears

8:10

about the neighbors down the street who

8:12

got into a car accident . What

8:14

does he do ? He lets them borrow his car . He's

8:17

in the hero mode , right

8:21

, are

8:28

he's in the hero mode , right ? The mom and dad needs somebody to go mow their lawn . Oh , he's gone that

8:30

he's going to go mow their lawn because it's so important for him to

8:32

maintain an

8:34

image but we

8:36

can't maintain images with

8:38

everyone all the time , and

8:41

so at home he

8:43

might do the dishes for

8:47

her once in a while , he might love bomb her with

8:49

jewelry or sweet words , but

8:52

then he's also turning around and

8:54

calling her names . We call this the jekyll

8:56

and the hyde . That's a very big

8:58

symptom with a nice guy . Somebody

9:01

that is nice in

9:04

one instance can totally

9:06

love bomb to get what they want

9:08

and then turn around

9:10

and not

9:14

be so nice later , be

9:17

somebody completely different , and

9:19

it it does . It leaves you feeling pretty crazy

9:21

. Another thing about the nice guys they

9:24

really also are not very

9:26

good at protection . Okay

9:28

, now , this is one thing we , as a

9:30

society in general , need

9:33

men to do more of is

9:35

stand up and actually protect right

9:38

. This is a beautiful , wonderful masculine

9:40

trait that we

9:43

truly do need more of

9:45

, because

9:48

there's so many really , really

9:50

horrible things happening out there , and

9:53

women in general tend to feel very

9:55

, very insecure and very scared for

9:58

their safety . The simple

10:00

act of walking from the grocery store to

10:02

a person's car is

10:04

very different for men and women . For

10:07

a man oftentimes they

10:10

might be kind of aware , but for a

10:12

woman , she's wanting something

10:14

in her hand just in case she gets attacked

10:16

, because

10:18

that's something that is a very real fear

10:21

. Because that's something that

10:23

is a very real fear . Women are usually

10:26

far more targeted as

10:28

assault victims than men

10:30

are , and that's just a statistic

10:32

. We need men to stand up

10:34

and actually protect the

10:37

nice guy because he does

10:39

not want conflict , and

10:46

protection often requires some type of conflict . Because he doesn't want

10:48

the conflict , he will push

10:50

somebody else in front of him to

10:52

do the protection , and oftentimes

10:55

that lands on his partner . Finances

10:59

aren't great , guess what . He

11:01

leaves it all to her to figure it out . Another

11:03

way that this might also show

11:05

up in your relationship with

11:07

a nice guy is if

11:10

, say , you're trying

11:12

to share your emotions with him . You're

11:14

trying to tell him how you actually

11:17

feel about what it is he's done

11:19

and

11:21

he can't hear you . But

11:24

yet when it's his turn to share what

11:26

is happening with him emotionally , you

11:29

have to sit there and listen to him . You

11:32

have to sit there and take in

11:34

everything and change it for

11:36

him . Nice

11:39

guys don't like conflict

11:41

and your emotions are

11:43

one of the things that can create

11:45

that inner conflict in him . So

11:49

he might even acknowledge

11:51

oh yeah , I've done something wrong , but

11:54

it's not because he

11:56

is . He's

11:58

feeling any guilt , but it's because

12:00

he's been caught . He's

12:02

feeling any guilt but it's because he's been caught . See , most people are

12:05

who are mentally healthy , I should say

12:07

will . When they

12:09

realize that their behaviors are not good , will

12:12

turn around and

12:14

, um , actually try

12:16

to change . Try to change

12:18

the things that they're not doing well , things that they're not doing well

12:20

, things that they're not doing right and

12:22

the things that are actually hurting another

12:25

person . But the

12:27

problem with the nice guy is

12:30

this whole facade that they've created

12:32

for themselves , where they have to

12:34

be the nice guy , they have to be

12:36

seen as the nice guy

12:38

. That

12:40

idea , that

12:43

savior complex that they have

12:45

, cannot be challenged

12:48

. But again , like I said before

12:50

, it's not possible to keep

12:52

up an act all

12:55

the time , and so it's usually

12:57

the people that they are the closest to

12:59

, aka

13:01

their wives , that tend

13:04

to see this the most . Now

13:08

, so how do you know if

13:10

you might be married to a nice guy ? Well

13:12

, number one , like I said , people

13:14

think he's just the best guy ever

13:16

, right . Everybody

13:21

around him thinks he's just such a nice

13:23

guy , he's so

13:25

good . But

13:28

you , on the other hand , are like , oh

13:31

yeah , he's got some nice things , but

13:33

, and

13:36

so you have this confusing polarity

13:39

happening . No-transcript

13:55

, you have to take care of

13:57

the finances , you

14:00

have to take care of your own protection , you

14:03

have to protect his best interests , his

14:06

emotions . You

14:08

feel like you have to walk on eggshells around

14:11

him and

14:15

you feel neglected and

14:17

confused and you may even be wondering if it's you . And you feel

14:19

neglected and confused and

14:22

you may even be wondering if

14:24

it's you . Like

14:26

what else is you ? Maybe I'm the narcissist

14:29

? Let me tell you something . If you're asking that question

14:31

, you're not a narcissist . So

14:35

what do you do If

14:38

you were married to someone like this ? What do you do If you were

14:40

married to someone like this ? What do you do ? It

14:43

doesn't necessarily mean that this

14:45

nice guy unfortunately

14:47

there are a lot of them out there but

14:49

that doesn't necessarily mean that

14:52

you have

14:54

to divorce immediately

14:56

. Honestly

14:59

, the best thing you can do when you're

15:01

married to a nice guy

15:03

is set

15:06

boundaries and

15:08

recognize truth . You may

15:10

look like the bad guy and

15:14

people will most likely come

15:17

at you when you're setting

15:19

these boundaries . They

15:21

may call you the narcissist . They

15:25

may say that you're the problem because

15:28

he's such a nice guy and

15:32

you have to be willing to

15:34

realize that . Yeah

15:39

, you might end up having a lot of people

15:41

come after you saying

15:44

not nice things about you , because

15:46

you're finally done and

15:51

you need to be able to if you want

15:53

to keep your marriage intact , because

15:57

you do see a lot of good things and

15:59

oftentimes I think the nice guy isn't necessarily

16:01

aware of that . Somewhere

16:04

in childhood they've learned to

16:07

conflict avoid and

16:10

in order for them to conflict avoid because

16:12

that is like the

16:15

thing that keeps them safe , that that is the

16:17

thing that keeps them safe , that is the thing that

16:19

keeps them alive . They've learned to do this for

16:21

survival . So that

16:24

means that anything

16:27

that you do when you're setting boundaries

16:30

is

16:33

going to make them so

16:35

they're not necessarily always conscious that

16:39

they're doing these things . This

16:41

can be a very subconscious

16:43

thing , but it still

16:45

needs to be addressed , it

16:48

still needs to be dealt with and

16:54

the way to deal with it

16:56

is to , like I said

16:58

, set those boundaries . And

17:05

you

17:08

need to answer that question of am I willing to look like

17:10

the bad guy ? To

17:19

give you an example , I had a client

17:21

whose husband was a nice guy but also

17:23

had a consistent porn addiction , and

17:27

she had told him over and over and over again that the porn addiction was really a problem because

17:29

she had boys at home that had already been exposed to it , because

17:35

he had been so deeply into

17:37

it . He

17:47

had been so deeply into it he wasn't realizing when other men had stalker behaviors

17:50

towards his wife and his children , and

17:52

so the idea of protection was

17:54

completely foreign to him , completely

17:57

foreign to him . He had

18:00

no idea . When his family felt unsafe

18:02

and the behaviors of other

18:05

men that were making them feel

18:07

unsafe , he

18:09

was asleep to it . She

18:12

finally decided that

18:15

she was done . She was done

18:17

with the pornography Not

18:19

with him necessarily she did love him and he had a lot of really

18:22

good qualities but

18:24

she was done with the pornography . So what did she

18:26

do ? She kicked him out , told

18:28

him he had to go sleep at his mom's . Well

20:59

, his

21:02

sister um

21:04

chose to

21:07

call

21:09

the wife a narcissist You're

21:11

such a horrible person . You

21:13

have no idea how to take care of a

21:15

man . You are the

21:18

worst person alive and

21:21

turned around and started telling

21:23

her brother how

21:30

horrible she really was and

21:33

how she was never good

21:35

for him in the first place , and

21:39

my sweet client was the

21:41

one that was consistently there

21:44

for him , consistently

21:47

saving him , consistently

21:51

fighting off the dragon . It

21:56

really hurt my client . Luckily

22:01

, her husband was smart enough to

22:03

realize that a

22:05

lot of what was happening in their marriage

22:07

was due to him , but

22:12

at this point he had been

22:14

such a nice guy for so long

22:16

that anything

22:21

negative that happened as

22:23

a result of his behavior looked

22:27

like it was her fault , his wife's fault

22:29

. At this point she

22:33

came to me and she asked me what do

22:35

I do about this ? This hurts , and

22:39

one of the things we went through is realizing

22:41

that the

22:44

reason why it hurts so bad was

22:46

because it was pointing

22:48

to everything

22:52

she had done for him that was never

22:55

acknowledged . It was pointing

22:57

to the abuse she was

22:59

suffering from him that

23:01

was completely subconscious

23:06

. Completely subconscious , it

23:10

was pointing to everything she had ever done just to try

23:12

to keep things safe and that

23:14

she felt crazy herself

23:16

. It

23:18

was pointing to the fact that , in order for

23:20

her to keep this marriage alive and

23:22

to keep her family intact , she

23:40

had to legitimately

23:43

give up herself

23:45

and her self-identity because

23:48

narcissist , calling her the

23:51

bad guy , telling

23:55

her that she was crazy , telling

23:59

her that something was wrong with her , that

24:01

we

24:04

needed to stay strong to the truth

24:06

. You

24:08

are welcome to think that way if

24:10

it makes you happy . That

24:14

meant distancing herself

24:16

from some people that were

24:19

toxic to her because

24:21

they did not want to get it . They wanted

24:23

to keep the mentality

24:25

and the vision of him being a nice guy

24:27

, but

24:30

the problem was he wasn't happy either

24:32

, and so

24:34

his happiness , his unhappiness

24:36

, was also blamed on her . It's heartbreaking

24:39

to

24:41

say to someone that you love you

24:45

are welcome to believe that if

24:47

that is what makes you happy , but

24:52

it's even more heartbreaking to try

24:54

to prove on a daily basis

24:56

that you're not the bad guy . So what

24:58

did she and her husband do ? I

25:03

talked to her about coming up with the four

25:05

non-negotiables , or

25:07

I should say she

25:09

came up with four non-negotiables . My

25:11

recommendation is at least

25:14

like at most , 10 non-negotiables

25:17

, because men are also creatures

25:19

that need very , very direct instructions

25:23

and they need simplicity

25:26

. I'm not calling them simple creatures

25:28

, by the way , it's just that

25:30

they do need very simple directions

25:32

. Um

25:35

, and so the more

25:37

concise you can make

25:39

these non-negotiables , the better

25:41

it is for them and the

25:43

better it is for you , because they can

25:45

go back and remember these things . She

25:49

set boundaries with him

25:51

. If

25:54

you're going to talk to me this way , I'm leaving

25:56

the room . She

26:01

started a business and she started earning money

26:03

and started doing things that she

26:05

wanted to do with that money . But she refused

26:07

to pay for his things

26:09

. And

26:13

that's such a good thing , too , because

26:15

it taught him that he actually

26:17

could create . He

26:21

could get out there and start doing some

26:23

work . He

26:26

could actually lean into the things that he

26:28

wanted to do in

26:30

his life . He didn't have to deny himself

26:32

the good

26:34

things and

26:37

he started . Instead of being a nice guy

26:39

, avoiding conflict at all costs

26:42

, he started

26:44

being kind . Now

26:52

Teal Swan if you guys follow her on youtube or wherever she's at she talks about this

26:54

too the nice guy versus

26:57

the kind guy . See , kind , they're very gentle with

26:59

the people that they love , but they're not afraid to

27:01

step into conflict , and

27:04

this is why they're also

27:06

great protectors . Set

27:08

some boundaries with the nice

27:10

guy . Boundaries

27:13

that I would suggest are

27:15

don't

27:18

pay for him If

27:21

he's going to have problems financially

27:24

and act like a little boy

27:26

that needs to be taken care of . You

27:30

start creating

27:32

your own money now , before

27:34

you sit there and say I've got kids and I don't have an

27:36

education my

27:38

loves . This is 2024

27:41

. You can make

27:43

five or six figures online

27:45

. There's

27:51

teaching outlets , you can sell things online

27:55

, bookkeeping , virtual assisting

27:57

, goodness

27:59

blogging and

28:07

, yes , sometimes it's going

28:09

to take a little bit of time for some of these things to grow fruit , but

28:17

plant your own seeds of money growth . When

28:22

you realize that you're not

28:24

a part of the finances and you need to be then you need to

28:26

get your own money , and

28:30

that is a boundary that you need to set with him and yourself

28:32

. And the money you make is not to fund him in any way . The

28:35

money you make is to fund your goals , your

28:37

dreams and your life . That

28:41

is what that money is for . That's

28:44

a very strong boundary , and

28:49

the boundary you need to set with yourself is

28:52

that you're going to persevere , you're going to push through

28:54

. That doesn't mean it's going

28:56

to be fixed tomorrow , but

28:58

if you will maintain this , I

29:01

promise you . And

29:03

if you start getting curious about ways you can

29:05

start making money online right

29:07

now , I promise you

29:09

that you will do it . If

29:13

you'd like some extra help with that , please

29:15

schedule a call with me . This is something

29:17

I love also helping women do , because

29:20

it is such a necessary boundary

29:22

, especially when you're

29:24

dealing with a nice guy . Second boundary

29:28

when you're especially when you're dealing with a

29:30

nice guy . Second , he may sabotage things

29:33

that you want him to do , so

29:36

that way he doesn't have to be

29:39

responsible for doing them again . If

29:41

he does things like that , make

29:45

him go do it again . If he wants

29:48

to be treated like a child , treat

29:50

him like a child , somebody

29:52

who has to be told every single step

29:55

. But , most especially , come

29:59

up with your non-negotiables . The

30:02

non-negotiables I have with my husband are

30:04

number one he has

30:06

to have a relationship with God . He

30:09

has to actively pursue a relationship

30:11

with God . Number

30:17

two he

30:21

has to cherish

30:25

me . So

30:29

cherishing you

30:32

is actually one of the things that will cause

30:34

him to stop being

30:36

the nice guy , because

30:38

we want to be protected as

30:41

women , protected as women . We

30:43

want somebody who , when

30:46

they're going to come

30:48

after us , to step

30:51

in and say , no , that's not

30:53

going to happen . Cherishing

30:58

is kind

31:02

, not nice . Number

31:07

three he has to pursue his own goals and his

31:09

interests . He has to have some ambition in his life

31:11

. I

31:14

want him to be happy

31:16

, I want him to have a life , I want him to

31:19

enjoy what it is he's doing he's

31:31

doing . And number four no porn . However , if he does those other three , the porn will naturally

31:33

go away , because it's addressing the root issues

31:35

of a porn addiction . But

31:37

now that I've addressed the non-negotiables

31:39

that I've said with my own husband , there's also non-negotiables

31:41

with myself . That I've said with my own husband , there's

31:45

also

31:47

non-negotiables with myself . Number one I

31:50

don't take anybody's disrespect personally , but

31:52

I respect myself very

31:54

much . That

31:57

means I also respect other people's

31:59

opinions . It

32:01

doesn't necessarily mean they have to be right . Opinions Doesn't

32:07

necessarily mean they

32:09

have to be right , but they

32:15

can have an opinion of me that's not flattering . One

32:21

of the things I'm going to do is I am going to ask OK , well , you know

32:23

, why are they seeing these things ? Is there something about me

32:26

that could possibly be true , that I need to change ? But I don't

32:28

add emotion into

32:30

that question . I

32:34

ask out of pure curiosity

32:36

, because I love truth

32:39

, I love the idea

32:41

that I can do better and

32:44

I do want to do better . But there

32:46

are just some areas that

32:48

I can't do better in and

32:51

if those are the areas that are being judged

32:53

well , that's not on me and

32:59

I need to be okay with other people

33:01

having their experiences

33:03

and having their opinions

33:05

. That's

33:07

okay . One non-negotiable

33:10

for me is

33:12

I will always be my own best friend

33:14

. I will always have my own back . I

33:18

am going to put God first in my

33:20

life and then myself . Put God first in my life and then

33:23

myself , and

33:25

whatever comes from those

33:27

two relationships will benefit

33:29

my husband and my children

33:31

and the people I love . That's

33:37

my number one non-negotiable with myself . And

33:42

because the other non-negotiable I

33:44

have with myself and it kind of goes along with the best

33:47

friend here is I

33:50

will know myself , I

33:53

will know who I am . Anything

33:57

that makes me feel disappointed

34:00

or betrayed

34:02

by myself , that

34:05

is something that I am not going to

34:07

do . I

34:10

can get curious , yes , about how

34:12

I need to improve , because

34:15

I'm still walking on this planet in a skin suit

34:17

. My loves , that means I still have

34:19

improvement to do . God hasn't twinkled

34:21

me off the earth yet , okay

34:23

. But that

34:27

does mean that I am going to have to

34:29

get curious about how I can grow

34:31

more , how I can do better , how

34:34

I can be

34:36

more of who I am , be

34:39

the very best version of myself that I can possibly

34:41

be . But not because

34:44

I want to placate

34:47

someone , it's

34:49

simply because I want to be that loyal to myself

34:51

, because

34:54

a best friend will

34:56

always have your back

34:58

right , and

35:00

having your back means that

35:02

sometimes they're going to have to tell you yeah

35:11

, you kind of mucked that one up . Here's

35:13

the ways you can do better . Here are some things

35:15

you

35:17

can try , because they want to see you succeed . They

35:30

want to see you do the very best possible life that you

35:32

can have . My

35:34

third non-negotiable is that I am a seeker

35:38

of truth . This is very helpful when

35:43

someone tries to manipulate me . I don't take

35:46

anybody's opinion as truth

35:48

until I test it out for myself first

35:50

. See , truth will always

35:52

come back to to a physical

35:55

uh evidence , for

36:00

example . Um

36:02

, I had a client

36:05

the other day that was really struggling

36:07

with their self-esteem and self-worth

36:09

and really had a lot

36:11

of self-talk issues

36:14

. It wasn't necessarily

36:16

his fault either . Bless

36:20

his heart , bless

36:28

his heart . He'd had a very , very rough childhood and had

36:31

a former wife who was also quite toxic to him , and so when

36:33

he's sitting here having a lot of

36:35

this negative self-talk and wondering if

36:38

it's his fault , right , that's actually

36:40

a sign of gaslighting . He's wondering

36:42

if everything is always your fault . I

36:46

had to stop him and

36:51

I said , instead of speeding

36:53

up , let's slow it down and let's ask some questions here . Number

36:59

one do you have a body ? Well

37:02

, yeah , okay

37:20

. Well , god didn't give every one of his children a body . Does that mean

37:22

you're worthy ? Huh , yeah , oh , okay , that's interesting . Number two Do you

37:25

have a life ? Yes , so God also trusted you with a mission and a purpose

37:27

. So

37:32

God thinks you're worthy and he trusts you

37:34

. I

37:40

was able to follow the truth back to the fact that he

37:42

had a body and a life . Truth

37:44

will lead us back to things that we know for sure Always

37:50

, and

37:55

truth will also light a brightness inside of you . It'll bring hope

37:57

, it'll bring joy , it'll

38:00

bring peace and

38:07

it'll help you know yourself in a way that is irrefutable

38:11

, and it will awaken inside of you a sense

38:13

of awe in who you are

38:15

. Truth does

38:17

that , and

38:19

if it's bringing those things to you , then

38:21

you know you can trust it , and

38:33

that's an important

38:36

thing when you yourself have been betrayed by a nice guy or even a nice gal . All

38:38

right , my loves . I hope this was super helpful for you . If it was

38:40

, please and you

38:42

would love more help , please feel free

38:45

to book that call with me . It

38:47

is in the description below and

38:50

, if not go to ErinAndersonTheTraumaCoachcom

38:53

On my webpage

38:56

is booking

38:58

options so

39:03

you can book a call with me . My loves , I would

39:05

love to help you more especially if you're dealing

39:08

with these things , and

39:10

until next time , from

39:13

my heart to your heart , I'll see

39:15

you on the other side . Bye , my loves

39:17

. Okay

39:35

, so I've got a question for you . Have

39:37

you joined my free facebook group or instagram page yet ? If you haven't , go and do that

39:39

, and this is the reason why I always

39:43

post my freebies

39:45

, updated information and

39:47

all kinds of goodies for my community

39:49

in that page . I'm also

39:51

really active . I post videos

39:53

, I answer questions . So if

39:55

you guys really really want to get in and

39:57

interact with me , go

40:00

like me on Facebook

40:02

. Go join my group . The

40:04

Other Side of the Struggle Healing from Betrayal

40:06

Trauma . Come find me on Instagram

40:09

, erin Anderson , betrayal Trauma

40:11

Coach , and come follow

40:13

me , because I always have something

40:15

good there just for you , my

40:18

audience , and I love

40:20

connecting with you there . I

40:23

also post any time that I

40:25

have groups going

40:27

on . I talk sometimes about

40:30

my programs . So if you guys

40:32

are interested in working with me or even

40:34

just following me and getting as much

40:37

free content as you possibly

40:39

can , go , hang

40:41

out in my group . Go

40:43

connect with the ladies that are there Also

40:47

. Come and join . Immune and Unashamed

40:49

for those married couples that

40:51

are following me , because in

40:53

that group , me and my business partner

40:55

Kyson Kidd are also talking

40:58

and offering some

41:00

great content .