0:00

All rise. I'm Miss Pat, and I'm the

0:02

judge of my new show, Miss Pat Settles

0:04

It. The way you cut that wig, baby,

0:06

you had glue coma. Because your eyes was

0:09

glue shut. I will be

0:11

bringing the realness with some off-the-wall cases. I

0:13

think she got your rent money on her

0:15

hands. And my own jury made up of

0:17

friends and guest stars. Is there any way

0:19

for us to see the video? He know all about

0:21

videos. Y'all may have

0:24

started, but I'm finna settle it. Miss Pat

0:26

Settles It, new series Wednesday, October 18th

0:28

at 10 on BET. Hey, it's

0:30

white boy, Chris. If the Pat-Downs ever made

0:32

you laugh, then join our Patreon and support

0:35

us. Get bonus content, a t-shirt, or an

0:37

autographed copy of Rabbit, Miss Pat's autobiography. Visit

0:39

misspatcomedy.com for the link to the Patreon. And

0:41

while you're there, join our Facebook group. Welcome

0:43

to another episode of the Miss... Welcome

0:47

to another episode of the Pat-Down

0:49

podcast. I am on set

0:51

of the Miss Pat Show, but I took

0:53

a break to talk to Chris Bangalanga and

0:56

De'Aaron Kerr, my lovely co-host. Hey,

1:00

Pat. Hi, how are you? Nice

1:02

not to see Nikea. He

1:05

works here. Does he really? You

1:08

know why he's not on the podcast? Why?

1:11

Because he's taking a... Catering. I

1:13

was gonna say, he's taking a full lunch, you

1:15

taking a half lunch. Yeah. I

1:19

saw him over there licking the barbecue grill. I just

1:21

walked like I didn't know him. God love him. God

1:24

love him. Make sure y'all stay tuned after

1:26

the music. So make sure y'all stay tuned

1:28

after the music so you can hear what's going on

1:30

at the Miss Pat Show. You

1:33

better get up, get out, and tune

1:36

into this podcast. Miss Pat

1:38

spit the truth, spit the real facts. Nothing

1:40

but the other classy at the same time.

1:43

Pat got the flavor, these are not your same

1:45

lines. That's the politics, she been

1:47

on the real grind. It

1:49

could be pretty but ugly at the same time.

1:52

It could be pretty but ugly at the same

1:54

time. Just tune in, put your lock on the

1:56

spin dial. Ain't no need for the wait and

1:58

turn it up now. out it's

2:02

real though you get

2:04

no play like me your way

2:06

to try and find the ug, nothing but the ug straight out

2:08

the top everything you say

2:10

you know it's funny full class, this

2:13

a taste of the kombucha listen on your iPhone

2:15

on your desktop computer ain't

2:18

no way to beat it nothing but the ug

2:22

turnin' up with normal and

2:24

I'm on the set I'm

2:26

taking a speed of the new set so

2:31

many go so many seasons again can't

2:34

keep it straight I'm

2:36

blessed are you happy

2:38

to see the cast again? huh? are you happy to see the cast

2:41

again? man, we didn't know how

2:43

much we love each other hahaha

2:49

I'm getting confused in this damn thing on

2:51

what Tyler need to pour my hair back

2:53

on we didn't know how

2:56

much we love each other aww,

2:58

this is fun yeah, we

3:00

really are family for real it's

3:04

a very funny season

3:08

oh, hold on before I start shout

3:10

out to Norman there he

3:12

passed away today and Jordan cried like a baby

3:16

did he? yeah did

3:20

they get close? I know you spoke at his birthday party yeah

3:24

he did a whole video I

3:26

posted today about how much he enjoyed

3:28

the show and

3:30

we got invited to his birthday party which

3:32

I couldn't believe I

3:35

was like, Norman, it invited me to his

3:37

birthday, 100th birthday party he

3:40

should have been greedy he should have

3:43

had 101 birthday party he was like, I

3:45

can't believe this hahaha yeah,

3:48

it's like every year for your birthday up until

3:50

12 you should have a party and then every

3:52

year after 100 no,

3:54

you should have a birthday every 5 days after you turn on

4:03

You remember that old lady Flossie where the TV

4:05

station went out to interview her for her 100th

4:07

birthday and they're like, how are you Flossie? And

4:09

she's like, I am

4:12

tired. Exactly how

4:14

I do. I

4:17

don't care. Come get me, Lord. I'm ready

4:19

to sleep forever. She

4:23

was ready to die. She

4:25

was ready to die. So

4:30

shout out to Norman later. I mean, Jordan

4:32

got to meet somebody, you know, he

4:35

grew up, you know, idolizing,

4:37

you know, he signed all

4:39

his stuff for Jordan. You know,

4:42

he gave such a great thing talking

4:45

about how much he enjoyed the show.

4:48

I think it was last Christmas, I

4:50

got a card or something in the middle where

4:53

he signed it. And I was like,

4:55

I'm going to keep this. And

4:57

I'm so glad I did. So, you

4:59

know, that's how I was able to get on

5:01

Jimmy Kimmel. Because

5:03

when I got invited to his birthday party, I

5:05

also got to speak. So

5:08

when you in Hollywood, everybody's so

5:11

stale and properly primped. And

5:13

so I just got up there and said, look, I wonder if

5:15

they can everybody just come out like, here's Jimmy Kimmel.

5:18

I've been trying to get on your show, but

5:20

they told me you on Book Fat Black Women.

5:22

He said, what? He

5:24

said, put her on my show. And

5:29

I've been on that twice. That's great. Yeah.

5:32

So, you know, sometimes

5:35

when you look up in your career, you

5:37

always ask yourself, how did I get here?

5:39

You know, never, never, you could have

5:41

never told me I'd have been out of normal

5:44

new birthday party. Yeah. And

5:48

was that like a roast too? Did you do a snack? Yeah,

5:51

I did. I did a roast. And I said,

5:53

I said, normally, I'm half your age. I want

5:55

to know why the hell you all wait. I

6:00

said, you're no good. When

6:10

you 100, I think the last thing

6:12

you want to see is darkness. Yeah,

6:14

that's what I tell you. Like

6:17

my daddy was like 69 and

6:20

I don't think a lot of people do this. But this

6:22

is why they had campus. He wouldn't lay

6:24

down. He

6:26

sat up in a chair and you walk around and you

6:28

give him something. I'm watching the TV. I'm

6:31

like, no, I just heard you snoring. My

6:33

grandfather's 86. He does that too. He doesn't

6:35

sleep in the bed. He sleeps in the

6:37

lazy boy. Yeah, my

6:39

daddy would not fucking lay down. All

6:42

he wanted to do was sit in a fucking chair

6:44

with the noogles going. You

6:47

think you guys don't want to play

6:49

your last lay down? You don't want it to surprise

6:51

you. It

6:54

is like when you're sick, you wake up and

6:56

you're just like way more congested. I don't know

6:58

if something's about laying down just makes you all

7:00

messed up. Stay

7:03

awake. Stay up. I

7:05

don't know. But my daddy, me and

7:08

my daddy had, they fucking right before

7:10

my daddy, his heart don't beat. It

7:12

rattles. What? What

7:15

kind of science is that?

7:17

That's weird. I'm not making

7:19

this shit up. It's

7:22

just shake. So my dad was like, fuck that shit. I didn't

7:24

lay it down. Look how great it was. I just think you

7:27

need a new doctor. Heart rattle. Don't fuck

7:29

you, man. He was at a heart attack. I'm like, I'm

7:31

not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm

7:33

not. I'm not. I'm

7:35

not. I'm not. I'm

7:37

not. I'm not. I'm

7:40

not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm

7:43

not. I'm not. I'm not. I'm

7:45

not. I'm not.

7:47

I'm not. I'm not. They was

7:50

at a heart doctor. That's what they told.

7:52

They said, the heart don't beat it rattles.

7:54

Okay. At the VA? I've never

7:56

heard of that. He

8:00

barely was it on the Blue Cross Blue Shield? Um,

8:06

not even a man. Okay. Are you

8:09

sure the cops are not a public defender? I'm

8:14

so damn stupid. I don't know what to put on. It

8:17

was a heart killer because I used to take him all the time.

8:20

Yeah. I think they

8:22

did not want to see your daddy no more. Did

8:27

he get difficult towards the end? My, you

8:29

know, my grandpa's kind of getting difficult. He

8:31

was in, he had COVID and mild

8:34

heart attack two weeks ago and the hospital

8:36

was like, get out of here. Made him

8:38

lead him early. He was so difficult. Um,

8:42

I just think old people are

8:44

very mean. And so

8:46

I do think as a point where we're going

8:48

to get the same way, I hope people just

8:50

run out of patience. Yeah. They

8:53

don't have time for it. They

8:56

truly do not have time for the

8:58

bullshit. So with that said, they're not,

9:00

they're not tolerating no bullshit.

9:03

My dad was a, he was

9:05

a real asshole his last week of life. Really?

9:07

My dad was a real asshole. He was saying

9:09

some wild shit and I'm like, you about to

9:11

check out of here. What

9:14

was he saying? He was just real

9:16

disrespectful to his fiancee after she took

9:18

care of his old ass. He

9:21

kept telling her, go to the store, give me some chips. Go to

9:23

the store, give me some chips. I'm like, maybe you don't got money

9:25

for chips and you can't eat them anyway. She

9:28

was just a real dick about it. What

9:32

happened to your daddy? He

9:35

died. I think she been. Cancer

9:41

what? Yeah, he had cancer. He had

9:43

a bunch of cancer. He had skin

9:45

cancer and lung cancer. Damn. How

9:47

was he? 63. Was he

9:49

scared? No.

9:56

My dad never ever ever

9:58

showed Being

10:02

in pain like he he was

10:04

hurting but he never showed it He was

10:06

still laughing to the end still being a

10:08

honorary old man. So No

10:15

That's a good question I wonder if one of my parents

10:17

were dying is because they've been divorced for almost 30 years

10:21

If they would go see each other She

10:23

didn't go to the funeral either really Which

10:27

that really bothered me. Yeah, I Could

10:30

see why my mom my mom and dad would go to each other

10:35

Cuz it was my dad and I'm her

10:37

son you supposed to be there for your kids. Yeah

10:40

Regardless of the relationship with

10:43

the other person. It's not about them Cuz

10:47

you know actually daddy caught me so his

10:49

heart was leaking He's

10:52

gonna see the same heart special no he does it a

10:54

jiffy lube he had it Hey

10:58

get a drip pan Pat I

11:02

told you should really call your daddy So

11:08

I was thinking I said do I go to his

11:10

funeral If

11:14

the kids want you there, yes, yeah, I

11:16

agree and that you know,

11:18

I wanted my mom there you know, I

11:20

get what their relationship was not

11:22

the same as My

11:25

relationship with them but What

11:27

you Did I ask her?

11:30

No, I didn't talk to my mom for 234 days after my dad passed

11:36

She called me on the 234th day You

11:39

tell him Because

11:42

she had talked to everybody else All

11:44

my other brothers, but she hadn't called me yet And that is

11:47

just did it just piss you off that you started writing it

11:49

down on a calendar No,

11:51

I kept a runtally in my head You

11:55

should be the name of the world I'm

11:57

sure I'm sure Yeah,

14:00

his cousin wife called me to tell me

14:03

his cousin died, but I got busy and

14:07

I forgot. So it happens. And

14:09

so we bump in tour and

14:12

I said, I don't know how the

14:14

conversation came up. And

14:16

she knew Gary didn't come to the front. And I said,

14:19

he's like, nobody told me she died. He died.

14:22

And I said, I totally forgot to tell you

14:24

your cousin died. You

14:26

know, especially every time I was at

14:28

the house watching the young and the rest of me, I

14:31

ain't interested in dying. And real life, I'm

14:33

interested in dying on the soap pile. You

14:36

called me about a real death. That's not interesting. That's

14:39

not interesting. You got

14:41

to call me after the soap is over. Yeah.

14:44

And I'm the guy that said him his cousin

14:46

died. I get

14:48

it. Because it's like a husband's cousin. You

14:50

know, like, I don't know my wife's cousins.

14:53

Maybe one of them. But you got to pass the

14:55

message on it. Somebody tells you. I know. Not

14:59

like if somebody died and gave a throne. Like, I

15:01

mean, you got to write it on the back of

15:03

the bill or something. Sticky

15:06

note. Drop them a tap. By

15:08

the way, by the way, your

15:10

dog died of words. You

15:14

know, some shit you just don't remember. And

15:17

if I get busy, you

15:19

know, if you don't know, wow. If you tell

15:21

somebody something happened, it's not wow. It's

15:24

just a nine-time thing. You know, forget

15:26

it. But

15:29

maybe it was a wow to him because it was

15:31

his favorite cousin. They used to play by the creek.

15:34

I had been with him a long time. I had never

15:36

met that cousin. But

15:39

it couldn't have been a favorite cousin. He said, I

15:41

don't know that nigga. Fuck him. Well, he knew

15:43

him. And when I told him he died, I

15:48

forget to tell him. Yeah. It

16:00

was like when my sister and I died

16:02

and they sent one brother to the federal home and everybody

16:04

else, I mean to the hospital and everybody

16:06

else said they can watch the game. I

16:09

didn't know you very well when you were on Bob

16:11

and Tom and told that story because

16:13

it was during the Super Bowl and the Falcons were playing and

16:17

you were just so nonchalant about, oh yeah,

16:19

the Falcons killed my sister-in-law. They

16:24

killed the shit out of her and the

16:26

nephew, and I told this story hundreds of

16:28

times, I could not believe he showed up

16:30

in the Falcons' gear as a

16:32

pallbearer. I

16:35

don't think I've ever heard that. Yeah,

16:37

he told her a casket. The Falcons had

16:40

to talk. I'm

16:43

like, dude, this is like if

16:45

you bring the murderer to the

16:47

funeral. Right, it's like a cow being a

16:49

pallbearer for cheeseburger. Not

16:59

the analogy Miss Pat would have went with, apparently.

17:03

Not with all this turkey and impossible

17:05

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17:10

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17:12

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17:14

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and use code PATDOWN50. Let

19:52

me ask you to change subjects. Can

19:55

we talk about V103? Oh

19:58

yeah. You no longer have V103,

20:01

y'all. I

20:04

don't work there anymore. Yeah, you called me

20:06

to surprise me one morning. I

20:08

bet you feel good right now because it's

20:10

3 in the afternoon and you're not dead

20:12

tired. You know, I

20:14

really do. I'm going to tell you. Honestly,

20:18

I was planning on being my last year.

20:21

I was going to leave in the middle of the

20:23

year and I was asked to stay and some change

20:25

was going to be made. And I realized it was

20:27

just a bunch of lies. And don't get me wrong,

20:30

I like working with you all three, but

20:32

I'm a very busy person. So

20:35

a week before my country was

20:37

up, they told me it wasn't renewing it. And

20:39

I'm like, I was leaving anyway,

20:41

guys. But

20:45

the ratings was great. We were going to go up

20:47

to number three. Yeah. Number 15. So

20:51

I got to do something I wanted to do and I

20:53

did it. That's a huge jump. 15

20:58

to 3, that's really good. So

21:00

no need to listen to Z103 anymore. You can come

21:02

here for the party. Switch

21:06

over to Bob and Tom and help me out. Yeah,

21:09

you know, but it is what it is.

21:11

So I mean, I have no hot feelings.

21:15

It was an experience that I wanted to do and

21:17

I got to do. And I'm

21:19

a hack peep. You know what,

21:21

I was just telling somebody, I said

21:23

I worked at Z103 for two years. And

21:26

last night was the first night that I've

21:28

had a dream. I

21:30

used to dream all the time. Really? I

21:33

always wake up with ideas or these jokes and

21:35

just write them down on my head. I hadn't

21:37

dreamed in two fucking years. Yeah. Wow.

21:41

That was a long time for

21:43

people in my head not to be working. There's

21:46

also like that anxiety of I got to get to bed.

21:48

I got to get to bed. I got to get to

21:50

bed. I got to get to bed all the time. It

21:52

starts at 5 p.m. It's

21:55

not like regular sleep.

21:58

All the time anxiety. your work

22:00

in morning radio is the worst. Well,

22:03

I've had my spirit. I'm so

22:06

glad I'm for you. And

22:08

I got so much stuff coming along.

22:11

I got the sex-selling, I got

22:14

the dispatch helps, I got a few

22:16

other projects I'm working on, I

22:19

got a wink, wink book

22:21

coming. I got a lot of shit. Why'd

22:24

you wink, wink? She

22:26

said it, she didn't do it. You wink, wink and

22:29

then you told us exactly what it is. You

22:35

know, I got a lot going on, so

22:37

I'm grateful. I just went on tour with

22:39

Burt Kreischer. Oh yeah, we haven't seen you

22:42

in a week and all this stuff has

22:44

happened in a week. How was the Burt

22:46

Kreischer? I was really hoping to see

22:48

you without your shirt on like he does. I went

22:50

to, I went on tour with Burt and I never

22:52

really go on tour with people because I'm

23:01

really trying to build my own thing.

23:04

I'm really trying to build my own thing by

23:06

myself. But I was like Burt

23:08

is my friend and I'd be more than happy to go

23:10

do a list. I had never gotten

23:12

another, I only did them with Cat Williams.

23:15

So I did it and

23:18

it was fucking phenomenal. When I

23:20

tell you Burt Kreischer's tour is rammed behind the

23:22

scenes like a sewing machine, I'm

23:24

sitting there like, would I make it to this

23:26

level? I'm

23:29

going to do a podcast. I'm going to

23:31

say when I make it to this level,

23:34

this is what I want. Yeah.

23:38

What was it like behind the scenes? Like

23:40

what's different about his tour versus like let's

23:42

say Cat? Organization. It was

23:44

organization. Everybody know where

23:46

you're supposed to go. The care was good. You

23:49

know, your setup was good. They

23:51

was professional. It was just,

23:53

it was wow. It was nice as fuck.

23:56

You didn't get paid in trash bags? What's

24:00

that story? Yeah, that's

24:02

like Cat Williams, baby. What? Just

24:06

trash bags full of cash. Oh,

24:08

wow. That's funny.

24:12

Yeah. I've

24:14

been on tours where

24:17

the R.S. was

24:20

in the back waiting on

24:22

the star to get off stage. And I was like,

24:26

what the fuck is going on around here? That's

24:28

awesome. None of

24:30

that. But it was

24:34

actually, it was a little mind-blowing. How

24:36

many shows did you do? I did

24:38

five. Wow.

24:42

It was between 7,000 to 15,000 seats in

24:44

between each city. Wow. It

24:48

was nice walking out there, back

24:50

to the crowd. And

24:53

I had a blast. That's good. And

24:56

thank you, Bird. So

24:59

with that said, I gotta get back to shooting. Okay.

25:04

And I appreciate y'all. So

25:07

make sure y'all go to missfatcomedy.com and

25:09

get all your tickets for your girl done made it to a

25:12

New Year, what is it? New

25:14

Year's? Albany, New York? Carpool,

25:17

Connecticut. Carpool, Connecticut

25:20

and Albany, New York. I'm

25:22

coming December the 30th and the 31st. So

25:25

make sure you get your ticket. Go

25:27

to missfatcomedy.com Check it

25:29

out. Memphis is almost sold

25:31

out, guys. Thank you. Cleveland,

25:34

Ohio, get your tickets. Jacksonville,

25:37

Florida. Can't thank you enough. We already

25:40

sold out five shows. Make

25:42

sure you continue to make

25:44

sure y'all continue to donate to the Patreon so

25:46

I can pay Dion and Chris. I appreciate y'all

25:48

from the bottom of my heart. And

25:50

we appreciate y'all. And I got some free stuff

25:53

coming. If you did not make it to the

25:55

party, you can go to my

25:57

website and you can get a party package and

25:59

pay for the show. shipping. Everything left over, we will mail

26:01

it out to you for free. I just need you

26:03

to pay for shipping. That's all. Thank

26:06

y'all so much for tuning in to

26:08

another episode of the Pack Down. Make

26:10

sure you check out my website at

26:12

mspaccomedy.com for all of my social media,

26:14

my tour dates, my book. Make sure

26:16

you spread the word about my podcast.

26:18

Please rate and review. Please

26:21

rate and review and share. Thank y'all so much,

26:23

y'all. I've been Ms. Pac.