0:00

Hey, it's White Boy Chris. If the Pat

0:02

Downs ever made you laugh the join our

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patriot and support us. Get bonus content a

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t shirt or an autographed copy of Rabbit

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Miss Pats autobiography. Visit Miss Pac comedy.com for

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the linked to The Patriarch and while you're

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there, join our Facebook group. What would

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have ever thought of the fact

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that I'm here with Chris by

0:19

the line and we are carried

0:21

a were up early and each

0:23

other's they talk of our outta

0:25

here how Chris Alamo Yeah right

0:27

lads can. Almost.

0:35

As if is it wasn't as. Bad.

0:40

As it is ok. Charles

0:44

fact that would have.

0:48

To play with these and that

0:51

frame that policies. Zebra don't. Really?

0:54

Watch. It

0:57

was a. Lot on his made

0:59

that out a loan for

1:01

the way it's last thing

1:03

he has really know the

1:05

game you cameo player lately

1:07

you wait to find that

1:09

the blood, the. Air

1:12

with this is that You know

1:14

funds Ball players this is though.

1:16

Listen, I have no idea. Death

1:18

Tuck you. In

1:21

a way to been put. Forward.

1:26

A outdoor. Party. Will be

1:28

New year. I.

1:31

Was a how was your Ryan

1:33

Seacrest gig. I haven't seen it,

1:35

I've I was asleep. Or

1:38

will see that is the any was working.

1:42

When we knew what are they have you do and. Ah,

1:45

Does that we had to come up with.and a couple could

1:47

mean he is a weird the come. Up with what

1:50

Twenty Twenty Three was the of in two

1:52

thousand and twenty three to me was a

1:54

year the strike right? Everybody would strike. so

1:57

you know i can really do what i wanted

1:59

to do story be like TV friendly.

2:02

So I think they had helped me

2:04

with it. You know, two or three

2:06

years a year. This is rich.

2:08

Can you put me on hold for one second? Yeah.

2:11

One second. Yeah. I just got some,

2:13

you know, when the year the strike

2:15

talked about, you know, shit.

2:19

Who went on strike?

2:21

Teachers, all kinds of shit. So

2:24

it's okay. You know, right.

2:26

TV friendly. I couldn't do it like I

2:28

did it on the club. So I

2:30

did my best with quite a few people seeing it.

2:32

I think people, oh my God, he's on right. And

2:35

I said, what the fuck did I did? And I sat down

2:39

the last minute and I was like,

2:41

Oh, no, this is funny enough. And

2:43

I just went along with it was a great

2:45

opportunity. And I think that even considering

2:47

me for it. Yeah, that's really cool.

2:49

I like is that he

2:51

does Dick Clark's rock in New Year's Eve,

2:54

right? Yep. The Clark Rock in

2:56

New Year's Eve. Is that ABC or CBS? It

2:59

was ABC, I think, right? You

3:02

know, I was barely made that barely made the

3:04

cut on that motherfucker. I

3:09

barely made the goddamn cut. We never went out on

3:11

New Year's Eve. And I still don't like to go

3:13

out on New Year's Eve. But it was so like,

3:15

Dick Clark's rock in New Year's Eve was always like

3:18

a big deal with what we watched. And so

3:20

when I saw you were doing I was like, wow, that's really cool.

3:24

Oh, you should go out on New Year's Eve.

3:26

If you don't get killed, it's a pretty good

3:28

time. We go to we go to

3:31

her family's house and ring

3:33

in New Year's style. Oh,

3:36

my candlelight. Singing

3:38

ABBA. You

3:41

got a better chance of going to the club

3:43

and getting killed is way more fun. He

3:48

went through a fucking hoot nanny at New Year's. Fucking

3:54

a hoot nanny. I don't know, somehow I'm going to

3:56

get a little bit too. A hoe down. That

4:00

an open cloud. Our new yeah now or

4:02

none of their bullish you. They

4:05

had the I'm. The.

4:08

Minute Tennessee A. New.

4:10

Year's. Whatever. Town that was

4:12

or nestle loot head on her background

4:15

and so and Milwaukee. Yeah it was

4:17

litter skinner, plane and a cold but

4:19

I did had a volleyball they had

4:21

a spouse music player so look like

4:23

skinner litter spin it was fair Bruno

4:26

more are under explosion like one litter

4:28

to secure left their old the set

4:30

except for pathetic. Steal

4:33

our you bow ready to die without their

4:35

so called. Ah performed

4:37

in Albany and boy they bought by

4:39

Albany New York Dame. You'll run for

4:42

mama like minded as we can use.

4:44

Why? Not. The first so

4:46

was great the second so I get up

4:48

on stage. And in meeting

4:50

some girl that I signed the

4:52

jaw allow like man said and

4:54

then another way that allah what

4:57

another parcel out. Who. Was Bali

4:59

and as a sir you you go have

5:01

to be quite. It's a nice

5:03

if I'm a lot of a woman this

5:05

little rough the laws and I'm not. I.

5:08

Don't even have love for your own kind. Out

5:10

could have you. Will

5:13

be such as possible. Ah,

5:15

Well I say that see have

5:17

looked your mother fuckin a. Couple.

5:20

Of my what of such as long as

5:22

it may amp don't let's see the units

5:24

with to ask questions. Happy a mall? Atheists.

5:27

Included seats and she was going to see.

5:32

Come. On out and maybe a bit. Old

5:34

council if he recalled from can for little

5:36

might see if you would make will. Now

5:39

added back tanksley outlier was a

5:41

D bullets. Boy

5:43

for thought it was as a set I'm going

5:45

to. Fix. It if

5:47

If if if if is. Oh

5:51

was weekends or gender reassignment

5:53

sir city as as. Well,

5:55

I thought paracelsus after a compulsive.

5:58

it was easier being selfless. I

6:00

was like, well, she about to get her ass beat. She

6:02

about to lose to me. And

6:08

she like, I don't know why she went off like that. They

6:10

had to hold a lady back. I said,

6:12

ma'am, if you run up here on this day, I'm going to

6:15

bust you in his head with these mics down. I said, what

6:17

is wrong with y'all tonight? And

6:19

they told me, I wait, it was already, I only could

6:21

do 35 minutes, right? Because I

6:23

went on the 11 o'clock, so I could do about 45

6:25

minutes. Yeah. And I was trying to

6:27

give them as much as I could. I spent 10, 15

6:30

minutes arguing with these folks. Oh my gosh. That's

6:33

the worst. See, now you want to know why I

6:35

don't go out. I hate drunk people. Oh,

6:38

they were so fucking drunk. I mean, the first

6:40

show was wonderful. That second

6:42

show, they showed their motherfucking

6:44

a... In

6:47

their blood. I

6:50

cannot wait to share with y'all what I got going on in

6:52

2020 folks. I'm in a movie,

6:54

in a big movie. Like

6:56

a big part? I got a

6:58

nice little role in it. Nice. Congratulations.

7:00

Nice. Thank you. I

7:03

can't tell. It's a couple of them. I have a couple

7:05

coming to me through the pipe. I cannot wait for everybody

7:07

to see. They're going to be like, what the fuck?

7:10

That's awesome. Congratulations. Who

7:12

y'all thinking with? Who do I think it's

7:14

with? Yes. Who would

7:16

you like to see me with? It's

7:18

a comedy. Jennifer Lawrence and

7:20

you and her... Jennifer Lawrence. You two

7:23

doing full frontal fighting. You

7:26

just want to jack your living selves,

7:28

don't you? I just think it'd be

7:30

funny. It

7:33

was funny what you did in the movie. It'd

7:35

be even funnier for you versus her. Look

7:41

off this fat face. You don't

7:43

want to do a full frontal nude scene with Jennifer Lawrence?

7:45

Are you fighting? No. No.

7:50

I don't know, man. Who

7:53

would it be with? I want to

7:55

see you and Vince Vaughn do a movie together. Yeah. I

7:58

think you two be great together. Maybe

8:01

an Adam Sandler movie, you and

8:04

Rob Schneider and all those other guys that are in all those

8:06

movies? I told him

8:08

what I said. I was just telling Joy

8:10

that I said Adam Sandler put all his

8:12

friends with different characters. That one

8:15

cross-eyed man was cross-eyed in every one of those

8:17

movies. I

8:19

just watched his cartoon, Leo I think it is,

8:21

on Netflix. It was really funny. Who

8:25

got a cartoon? It is like Adam

8:27

Sandler playing an old iguana. It is

8:30

an animated thing. His movies are very... Oh

8:32

yeah, yeah. And Bill

8:34

Burr. His movies are always very honest and

8:36

real. So I feel like you would be

8:39

a good fit in that. Did

8:42

you just say Adam Sandler's movies are honest and

8:44

real? Lately, yeah. What was

8:47

real? Happy Gilmore. What is

8:49

the name? What is the name? What are

8:51

you talking about? They

8:54

gave a white man a nigger's feet in Mr. D's. They

8:56

would let me and Pat be Ms. Pat in an

8:58

Adam Sandler movie. Yeah,

9:01

that's true. He gets to do whatever he wants to do

9:03

is what I mean. I

9:06

thought you said his movies were realistic.

9:08

I was like, no they are not.

9:10

The Waterboy was not realistic at all.

9:12

Well, wait a minute. Now those inbred

9:14

white people down in New Zealand just

9:16

like the white, the Waterboy. And Happy

9:18

Gilmore just got signed on signing

9:20

day to a golf team. So I don't want to hear it.

9:24

There's a real kid. His name is Happy Gilmore.

9:26

He just got signed to play for some big

9:28

college for golf. His

9:31

real name is Happy. Happy Gilmore, yep.

9:36

His dad must have been a huge fan of

9:38

that movie. That's how old we are, is that

9:40

people are named after movies and are going to

9:42

college. That Deon were out

9:44

when we were in high school. So

9:49

I wonder if that kid liked that movie. That's

9:51

so happy. Happy!

9:53

Happy! Did

9:56

he kept running in the room thinking they were calling him? He

9:58

punched Bob Barker in the neck. death huh

10:04

don't you remember what he beat the in

10:06

the movie Adam Sandler beat up by Bob

10:08

Barker the prices for rail with

10:10

the song happy happy

10:13

yeah yes I like what

10:21

he don't know anything about black and mare I know

10:23

this I thought was gnarls Barkley I

10:25

couldn't remember gnar Barkley

10:29

I'm sorry I'm shocked you know that is

10:31

oh yeah that song is huge when I worked at

10:34

the radio station I

10:36

remember we ever happened to win and you're

10:38

just living on a pile of money right

10:40

now in the Caribbean fighting

10:43

off heart they give a boy time Chris I

10:45

remember when I remember

10:48

when you

10:50

almost sound like that's a great way to start

10:52

20 that's a great

11:02

song so what's our new

11:05

year revelation revolution what I'm fucking calling

11:08

I what do you want to happen to yourself for 2024 well

11:11

things things are pretty

11:14

good but I could definitely make more money

11:17

and have more clients doing

11:20

podcast coaching but

11:22

you know we squish is five years old

11:24

and so that she'll be going to school

11:26

in August and so every day for every

11:29

week for the last five years it's just

11:31

been us hanging out because I've worked from

11:33

home for most of it so

11:35

it's kind of sad we have less like

11:37

only 30 more weeks before everything kind of

11:39

changes so I want to spend like take

11:41

at least one day out of those 30 weeks to spend

11:43

time with her like that's my number one thing that I

11:45

want to do because I remember when

11:47

I was five and we go out with my dad it was

11:49

always so much fun so that's like the

11:51

number one thing and then second

11:54

less politics it's going to be a horrible year for that

11:56

and I just don't want to deal with it I

12:00

don't want to get caught up in being mean

12:02

to people and fighting and all that bullshit Fucking

12:05

say one day out of 30 weeks Well,

12:09

of course, I'm gonna see her every day, but you know Our

12:12

one day can we go out and do something

12:15

special at least one day a week Cuz

12:18

it's all one day a week. I thought you meant one day

12:20

out of all 30 weeks. No That's

12:23

how you said it. I was like god.

12:25

I got 30 weeks before she goes and

12:28

you know out into the world Fuck you

12:30

can't Chris you can't like she's

12:32

sick because it's gonna

12:34

be See the day.

12:36

I Like

12:39

spending time with my kids I don't want you

12:41

gonna be you're gonna be so fucking happy

12:43

she has to you didn't you're not gonna

12:45

realize how much you have Time to just

12:47

relax and scratch a ball ain't nobody cutting

12:49

a bang nobody talking to you You can

12:52

just lay on us over each a ding-dong

12:54

and watch your toes You can

12:56

look at your feet cuz they see through a book or they

12:58

real blood It's

13:01

the bullshit no, it's so much

13:03

fun being around so much fun

13:05

her being here She

13:11

mentioned she cut her bangs did you see

13:13

what McDuffin did to the whole family You

13:25

have to go to McDuffins Facebook page and

13:28

see this or I'll put it on the pat down Instagram

13:33

So stupid He's

13:36

like, of course none of your resolutions involve the

13:38

gym But I was at the gym when you

13:40

said that McDuffin I've been playing basketball poorly, but

13:45

Poorly poorly you've

13:47

been getting the ball throwing it back to the

13:49

player Let's just

13:53

say it's not a jump shot. It's

13:56

an almost off my feet shot. What

13:59

is your deal? What's your plan? My

14:01

new year's resolution is to work more. I want

14:03

to work more with, uh, writing

14:06

my writing classes. Uh, I want

14:08

to work more on the road this year and,

14:11

uh, I really want to grow the other podcasts.

14:14

So those

14:16

are my plans for this year. Okay.

14:19

Um, what am I

14:21

needed? Yeah. What about you, Pat? I

14:24

think I want to work more. How,

14:26

how, how could you work more work? Last,

14:28

take a break, have a week off, make

14:30

that one of them. I,

14:32

um, sit on the couch. Yeah. Look at

14:34

your blonde toes. You

14:38

literally take your own advice. No,

14:45

I would like to work more. I'm, I moved in

14:47

as the eighties. And that first one, I first got

14:49

there. I

14:52

was a little scared.

14:54

So, I would like

14:56

to move up to about 3,500. I'm

14:59

right at, you know, I'm between 1,500 to 2,000 feet. So

15:02

I would love to move into a bigger creators.

15:06

Um, um, can

15:09

I ask how you do that? Do you, is

15:12

it simply a matter of marketing or is it

15:14

that you proved yourself with this tour that you

15:16

can now get yourself booked in those bigger theaters?

15:19

Well, you can, you can book them. It's just about

15:21

selling a ticket. It's about marketing and letting people know

15:23

that you're coming. Most of them might have

15:25

been sell out. Yeah. You know,

15:27

some of them like Atlanta was 916

15:29

each show. Uh, and

15:32

I need to show and I was trying to add

15:34

a third, but I was like, I'm not doing a

15:36

third and that's not what I'm going to do. So

15:38

next time, if I come back around to Atlanta, I

15:40

would like to play something bigger, like the Fox. You

15:43

know, other things I would

15:45

like to do. I have another show,

15:47

you know, season, uh, hopefully, you know,

15:49

everything worked out, she didn't do it.

15:51

Miss Pat sells it. Hoping

15:53

price. Uh, Miss Pat, uh,

15:56

the, uh, the miss Pat show. The

16:01

Miss Pat show is in the fourth

16:03

season. It is so fucking good. It

16:06

is so fucking good job. We don't get

16:08

nominated for another Emmy. I

16:12

would like, I have another project that's almost off

16:14

the ground. I have a

16:16

couple of movies that I have ideals

16:19

that I pitched and sold and, you

16:21

know, we're writing now. So I would

16:23

like to see them come to, you

16:25

know, for asking other things that

16:27

I want to get done. Just

16:30

stuff like that. I have a book.

16:32

I hope that'll be out next year or this year. How

16:38

about your house? Where are you at on your house? Hopefully

16:41

the plumber is there. He's putting the plumbing

16:43

in. They're doing the yard now. So they're

16:46

trying to get all the lights and stuff, you

16:48

know, up and going. Oh,

16:51

all the countertops are in. The other

16:53

kitchen will be here Friday for the

16:55

small house. So, you

16:58

know. So you're months away, weeks

17:01

away. Well, probably a

17:03

month. I should be moving

17:05

in later in February. That's

17:08

not bad. What's the plumbing go in? Gary

17:10

only can move into another house now. Cause

17:14

there's heat and there's air. I mean, there's gas

17:16

and water. Yeah. She

17:20

can move over there now. So, you know. So

17:24

you put Gary on in her own house. She's not

17:26

in the, you don't want

17:29

her near you. She's just

17:31

better off over there. She

17:33

fucking Palestine. She's

17:40

better off over there. I'm

17:46

looking forward to getting

17:48

the podcast studio going. So

17:51

while I'm on set, they can make a background.

17:53

I'm going over there today when I finish this

17:55

and switch it all out and

17:57

just start to move shit over there. So it's going to

17:59

look good. It's gonna look good. It's

18:02

great. So I'm about

18:04

to buy furniture for it, you know Trying

18:07

to figure out how I want it designed cuz I'm

18:10

you know, it's gonna be a couple spots up there

18:12

Yeah, then I got another thing that I'm working on getting

18:15

ready to open. I could start about

18:17

April So just trying

18:19

to stay busy just trying to create,

18:21

you know Yes,

18:23

so it's kind of I

18:27

said in the last episode It's like I kind of want

18:29

things to stay the same a little bit because things are

18:31

actually really good right now And it's been kind of a

18:33

long building process for four years and you kind of get

18:35

to a point where things are good And you want that

18:38

to keep going you just want to

18:40

maintain that level and you know, take

18:42

the opportunities Everything goes up

18:44

and down, you know, you

18:46

know the thing in this business that I've

18:48

learned is just consistent You know

18:51

like people come and go with the podcast all the

18:53

time You know some months you

18:55

have a huge listeners and it falls off

18:58

But you know people get big and people got their

19:00

own lives, but they you know, as long

19:02

as you consistent You know

19:04

people people who finds a miss Pat show

19:06

or the pat down podcast They're literally go back

19:08

from the first episode. I'm like, I don't know

19:10

what the fuck you talking about That's

19:13

if you go back from the first episode of

19:15

this I we almost five years And

19:18

we know we've been very consistent on

19:21

On for five years on weekly shows.

19:23

I think there's been half a dozen

19:26

best ofs, which is

19:28

a miracle given your schedule I've got

19:30

people who quit way way way less

19:32

going on and quit seven episodes in

19:35

Yeah, well, I mean, you know

19:37

cuz people want that big bush that people what

19:40

they didn't know about when you come to the pat Down you're

19:42

gonna get it didn't last somehow someway some crazy

19:44

shit is gonna happen Some

19:46

crazy shit is always fucking happening in my life

19:49

Yeah, but you know if you trying to eat

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21:54

You know what's weird is that I travel

21:56

now all the time with hair and makeup. Yeah.

22:00

Weird because people be hollering all day

22:09

I'm in the middle of a fucking joke. What's your

22:11

ass and damn shit like

22:14

they could afford them They're

22:18

not cheap Especially when

22:20

you got a Harlem around with you from every

22:22

show but you're I'm such a great I predict

22:24

a year this time a year for now. You'll

22:27

have hair makeup Wardrobe

22:29

and a social media person and

22:31

obviously jazz your assistant. I Do

22:35

have I do have a guy who

22:37

records me? Yeah, he travels so it's

22:39

about it's about eight to ten of

22:41

us now Yeah, oh he comes and

22:43

then you know the openers and then

22:45

I have a Hair

22:47

and makeup and then I have

22:50

two assistants now two assistants. Who's the

22:52

other one? Ah Kiara,

22:54

okay. Yeah. Yeah, right. I'm two assistants

22:56

in a hair makeup and then The

23:00

camera cool. Yeah, you

23:02

know Kiara is Nike is white for

23:04

new listeners, right? Yes You

23:07

had to get out of the house Hey

23:10

come work with me does she travel

23:12

with you Did you travel or did

23:14

she stay more in Atlanta to handle things there? No,

23:17

no, she traveled She had no things here in Atlanta

23:20

her jazz and then we all hit the road How

23:22

do they deal with the kids? Like

23:26

here, okay Yeah, like

23:28

can I go with you? I think you can't go no

23:30

one. Okay, but who's taking care of them? You

23:40

buy right on that you apply right

23:42

on that one he probably the fucking

23:44

gas station That's

23:47

yeah, but Other

23:49

than that, it's pretty good. I mean, you know I'm

23:52

just here Try to stay

23:55

afloat. I just want to say thank

23:57

you for not rubbing in the Falcons victory over the

23:59

Colts. Oh, yeah Yeah, yeah, you skipped

24:02

over that. For what? I forgot

24:04

the real baddie. But

24:08

the Bears beat, are we out now? Are we

24:10

out? The Falcons? No,

24:13

I think if the Buccaneers

24:16

lose, you guys have to

24:18

win, the Buccaneers have to lose, and I think

24:20

the Saints have to lose too. But y'all play

24:22

the Saints. So yeah, if the Bucks lose and

24:24

y'all win, I think y'all win the division. That

24:29

is pretty fun. The Bucks lose and the

24:31

Saints win, I think they win the division. Falcons have a 7% chance

24:34

of making the postseason, 3% chance

24:36

of winning the division. Tampa

24:38

has a 90% chance of winning the

24:40

division. Because they play Carolina, I

24:42

think. Yeah. Who

24:45

sucks. Who's awful. Who's owner's throwing drinks

24:47

in the crowd, because he's a maniac.

24:52

What? What happened? You didn't see that? So

24:54

the owner of the Panthers

24:56

is a maniac, and he

24:58

keeps firing all the coaches and has a huge

25:00

anger problem, and he was in the

25:02

box, and he got mad at a play, and he

25:05

took his drink and chucked it on

25:07

some Jaguar fans on

25:09

Sunday. I did not hear about

25:11

that. Yeah. So

25:13

he's a total jerk. Where

25:16

the fuck he come from? I don't know, but

25:18

these billionaires have success in one area. He bought

25:21

the team a couple years ago. Yeah, they get

25:23

really good at one thing. What do you thought

25:25

he bought a championship team? They

25:28

think that they can make the success happen

25:30

in other industries, and they can't. Because they're

25:32

not like Mark Cuban, who

25:35

thinks, oh, I'm gonna bring in the best parts

25:37

and let the experts handle it. He's firing

25:39

his third coach in four years. He

25:43

picked that

25:45

Bryce Young kid instead of the guy from Houston,

25:47

CJ Stroud. Everybody on his coach's staff before he

25:49

fired him wanted the guy from Houston. And

25:52

he was like, no, pick Bryce Young. That

25:55

dude's playing like Garbage Walt. Stroud is

25:57

gonna be the rookie of the year. Falcons

26:00

and the Colts both could get into the

26:02

playoffs, but they're in horrible divisions. So they're,

26:04

you know, although the Colts

26:06

have the same, nearly the same record as the

26:08

Chiefs now, which is crazy. I

26:12

thought the Colts was playing pretty damn good.

26:14

Yeah. They were undefeated in November. And

26:17

we went on Sunday. We make the

26:19

playoffs. Yeah, I think. Yeah.

26:22

Yeah. Cause it's, it's, is it Houston

26:24

versus Houston? Yeah. I thought

26:26

about bringing, I had tickets to that game. And, um,

26:28

I thought about bringing you

26:30

guys down here. It'd be fun. To go to that

26:32

game. That would have ruined Christmas. Cause

26:36

it was Christmas Eve. Oh, that's right. It was Christmas

26:38

Eve. That's why he wasn't, he wasn't going to come.

26:41

I was like, he got a whole family. He's not going to come.

26:43

Yeah. They wouldn't have let me. You

26:46

could have brought them with you. I had enough tickets. They

26:48

would have been horrible. We would have had to sit there

26:50

and eat that big ass loss we took. Now

26:53

we would have helped them, Wendy. I would have walked in. Merry

26:57

Christmas, baby. We

27:01

would have walked in on our, uh, lions

27:03

jerseys and just here.

27:06

Lions. You'd

27:08

had a dolphin jersey, a little

27:11

mermaid. Then undercover

27:13

who you really was with. You

27:16

probably was going to need that, but I don't know.

27:19

I'm hoping the faculty does. This

27:22

day, I think it's in New Orleans too,

27:24

ain't it? Yeah. And

27:27

I got tickets to that gang. And congrats on the

27:29

Georgia game. They beat the hell

27:31

out of FSU. Yeah. Yeah.

27:33

And Alabama lost. I was so happy that

27:36

fucking Alabama lost. You know

27:38

what I want to do? I'm going to look

27:40

into it. I can't promise, but if you're a

27:42

Georgia fan and

27:44

you want to go to a Georgia game

27:47

with me, you should hit up

27:49

the assistant email and I'm going to

27:51

see about taking a fan to

27:53

the Georgia. You got, you gotta be a

27:55

true fucking Georgia fan. Yeah.

28:00

What's the criteria for being a true I got

28:02

I got a egg I got a egg jumbo

28:04

one arm Have you ever broken arm cuz you

28:06

my broken arm when they lost and he hit

28:08

the floor remember that idea He

28:13

was so bereft with sadness that he

28:15

threw himself to the ground so hard

28:18

No, he broke the floor and it broke

28:20

his whole fucking arm when he was probably

28:22

like 12. Yeah Cascading

28:27

everything on his fucking arm Did

28:30

he get a Georgia Georgia cast he

28:33

got a red cast and I wanted to beat his fucking

28:35

a Because my my husband like are

28:37

you okay? He said yeah, and his arm just roll

28:39

up this fucking beat. Oh, no Yeah

28:43

So I kind of shit. Yeah,

28:46

we'd be football fans I hung

28:48

the TVs at the house. I'm gonna do a video the

28:50

day so everybody can see it, but it's

28:52

coming along I cannot wait for y'all to

28:54

see it There's one bathroom is irking the

28:57

fuck out of me that I really just want to

28:59

tear the fuck out So I think

29:01

I'm gonna go ask the fans today. Should I tell

29:03

this fucking bathroom out? Oh What's

29:05

the problem with it? It is

29:07

ugly. It's so fucking ugly. So I tied

29:10

all the way up Yeah, and it's just

29:12

so fucking ugly. I hate it I was

29:14

fucking so would you turn into a tile

29:16

ugly or the way you put the tile

29:18

in it? What do you mean? It

29:20

just it didn't come out like the picture.

29:22

I was stealing off the internet So

29:27

Would you make it a closet No,

29:30

it's just a bad it's a fucking bathroom I came in

29:32

full bathroom It's

29:34

a half bath. There's somebody moving broke my

29:36

goddamn toilet. Oh Where

29:40

is it a bidet toilet in the

29:42

full in the main area or is it like in a bedroom?

29:45

No, it's just I ain't going nowhere now

29:48

the motherfucker broke. So I got a college if they

29:50

replace it No, but the bathroom where's the bathroom located

29:52

in there? No, you gotta

29:55

send it to me and I can pop it up I Want

29:58

to tell his bathroom out so fucking back I I

30:04

fucking hate this bathroom what a passion but

30:06

my husband don't want me to tell you that he's

30:08

my ex's favorite bathroom look like shit do

30:12

you have to go in there no no

30:17

it's nice bathroom that's

30:21

beautiful what I

30:23

don't I love it with the

30:25

blue at the top so basically

30:27

the bathroom when you're looking in

30:29

it's got gray marble tile to

30:31

the ceiling where it meets

30:34

like blue French blue crown

30:37

molding with a nice gold

30:40

ring light in the middle I think it's

30:42

beautiful yeah

30:45

why don't why you think that's ugly that's

30:51

your fucking cat Chris yes muffins

30:54

I thought you was killing no no

30:56

that was mittens mittens we wouldn't put it outside

30:59

and she is the happiest she's ever been she

31:01

loves it you

31:04

put a cat you put you put a cat down no

31:06

we put her outside because I didn't have the heart to put

31:09

her down and why you

31:12

want to put it down because she

31:14

was shitting and pissing every single day

31:16

for a year in the

31:18

upstairs so we couldn't have it no we

31:20

put her outside but

31:25

you were thinking about that hell

31:27

yeah I was white people stepping

31:30

cat shit before it's horrible I

31:33

got a baby baby crawling around putting his

31:35

mouth on cat pee walls no thank you

31:38

but my thing is you gonna put

31:41

her down you won't kill a cat

31:43

cuz they shit they suppose no he's

31:45

letting nature do it he just threw

31:47

her outside no she's outside she's got

31:49

a warm little cozy spot she's I

31:51

mean I'm friendly with all the neighbors

31:53

she loves it now but

31:56

my thing is how dare you think the

31:58

poor her down because She,

32:00

she's... She, if she's

32:02

doing that, she's miserable. Because

32:05

she was, she was... She's miserable because she got a piss. She,

32:07

well, it's just a sign of stress. And

32:10

so she was so stressed out because everybody's

32:12

in her territory. We made her territory bigger

32:14

and now she's happy. She loves Elinora. She

32:16

actually, you know... She stay on the porch.

32:18

She loves, stays on the porch, comes,

32:20

walks up, snuggles on every kid that

32:22

walks by, snuggles on our kids. She's

32:25

happy. Did she come in the house? I

32:28

brought her in when it was really cold because

32:31

I just, you know, it was just too cold for her. I,

32:35

I couldn't have it. Is she pissing shit? Nope.

32:38

Nope, she knew. She was on her back. She was only in

32:40

for a few hours. She knew.

32:43

She knew. Fucking Christmas standing

32:45

there with this fucking hoodie rolled

32:47

in fucking sight. You

32:51

should have put her on a pamper. You

32:54

can't put a cat in a pamper. They're

32:56

not little dogs like those crazy old,

32:58

you know, wine moms on the plains

33:00

of the cadaver dogs. You

33:04

imagine going over to Chris's house and seeing his cat in the

33:06

diaper. I

33:08

ain't eating none of this food. When

33:13

that cat put his ass in Chris's face, I ain't

33:15

eating over the anyway. That

33:18

cat's boo-l hoe be so clean. So

33:20

one of my favorite videos that one of the Miss

33:22

Pat fan accounts dredged up like a couple months ago

33:25

where you're calling my cat the N word. Get

33:29

off the table. Go! I

33:35

ain't nowhere in the fuck. I ain't nowhere in

33:37

the fuck. Nada. Nada.

33:40

So there were on Halloween,

33:43

it was kind of funny because there were a

33:45

lot of older black adults that were trick or treating

33:48

and they'd walk up to get candy and then they'd

33:50

see mittens walk out and they go,

33:52

fuck no. Fuck no, I'm out

33:54

of here. Walk away. But

33:58

we gon' fuck with no cats. And you know

34:01

I be watching those cat videos. Cat's a

34:03

very mean motherfucker. They would slap you in

34:05

your motherfucking face like an abusive husband. And

34:08

then y'all just sat there. I'm telling

34:10

you now, cat, you slap me, cat,

34:12

I'm slapping you back. I don't,

34:14

nigga, I'm gonna punch you. I'm gonna pull your little

34:16

dick. I'm gonna put, I'm gonna put some in your

34:18

booty hole. I'm gonna tell you about

34:21

your motherfucking tail. Don't you put your

34:23

motherfucking hands on me. Pause.

34:26

Don't put your paws on me. Oh,

34:28

your paws. Pause.

34:32

He doesn't even love this episode. Oh,

34:35

I know, I've got shit. I'm gonna be picking it

34:37

outside your shoe. I've

34:40

gotten shit for putting her outside, but the reality

34:42

is she's not happy inside and we can't live

34:45

like that with a newborn that's about to start

34:47

crawling. It's just, what's the

34:49

most humane avenue here? So. Put

34:51

her out. Yeah. Ashley put her

34:54

cat out. She said, okay, it's gonna be a fuck. All the time,

34:56

come back. Ashley,

34:59

Ashley puts her pussy out. That doesn't

35:01

surprise me. Not at all. Oh

35:05

boy. Well,

35:12

I think that's about enough. Yeah,

35:14

that's enough. Thank

35:19

y'all so much for tuning in to another episode of

35:21

the Pat down. We love you guys. We're going on

35:23

five years this year. What month? Is

35:25

it April? The

35:27

end of March. You guys did a couple of

35:29

episodes like at the end of March. So beginning

35:31

of April, around your birthday. Yes, around my birthday.

35:33

Pat, you and I started recording in January. So

35:36

it's been five years that we've been doing it.

35:38

Just not the first public one. Oh

35:41

wow. We're excited. We're

35:43

excited. I can't thank y'all enough five

35:45

year anniversary. Keep listening. We

35:47

love you guys and make sure you

35:49

go to misspatcompany.com for all the tickets.

35:52

Chicago, you up next hour, with hour

35:54

this weekend. I

35:56

own WA because that's the word I struggle

35:58

with. Make sure y'all see. I mean

36:00

go to our this weekend

36:02

go to miss back coming to that comment

36:05

get your ticket I'm coming to more an

36:07

hour. Have them been there a while I'm

36:09

supposed to went there and kept counseling because

36:11

I kept getting fucking TV shit But

36:14

I'm on my fucking way and I'm excited.

36:16

I can't really see you guys Chicago theater

36:18

is almost sold out Just go to miss

36:20

back on the dot-com. I'm telling you we

36:22

love a good time this year 20 to 24 all year Every

36:27

single day this year is 2024 Happy

36:30

New Year everybody Thank

36:35

y'all so much for tuning in to another

36:37

episode of the pat down make sure you

36:40

check out my website at miss pack comedy

36:42

Dot-com for all of my social media my

36:44

tour dates my book Make sure

36:46

you spread the word about my podcast.

36:48

Please rate every deal. Please

36:50

rate every view and share I'll

36:53

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