0:00

Hey, it's white boy Chris. If the pat-down's

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ever made you laugh, then join our Patreon

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and support us. Get bonus content, a t-shirt,

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or an autographed copy of Rabbit, Miss Pat's

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Autobiography. Visit misspatcomedy.com for the link to the

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Patreon, and while you're there, join our Facebook

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group. What's up, another episode

0:15

of the pat-down, and I'm here with,

0:18

uh, Chris Spang-Aline and Deon Kerr, and

0:21

I forgot to tell y'all, I learned a new

0:23

word. What was that word about your blue hose?

0:29

Oh, I learned the word anal

0:31

fissure. Like, only fissure?

0:34

Anal fissure. That's

0:37

what you do when your bullet

0:39

hole be waving at you. Do

0:41

you have an anal fissure? No,

0:44

but my, I know somebody who had an anal fissure. I

0:46

wanted to share a big word with you.

0:49

It's, it's Nikea with all those hot dogs, isn't it?

0:53

No, but I wanted to share a

0:55

big word with you today, and it's anal fissure.

0:57

And if you know anybody with an anal fissure,

1:00

you let them know I ain't about to get you

1:02

fixed. Say

1:06

it one more time, please. Anal

1:08

fissure. It ain't a fissure

1:11

until you notify me. What

1:13

word are you saying? Anal fissure.

1:16

It ain't official. Until I

1:18

got it on. We

1:21

don't even talk about this. I

1:25

know, but I forgot to share this

1:27

very important big word that I learned. It ain't official. You're

1:31

like, it ain't official until you

1:33

get your booty hole fixed. Now,

1:35

anal fissure, ladies and gentlemen, is a

1:38

tear in the booty hole, and it

1:40

makes your booty go whoop, whop, wop,

1:42

wop, bop, bop, bing, bang, ding, and

1:45

lang. So, to keep

1:47

your booty hole from flapping like

1:49

that, you gotta get your anal fissure fixed.

1:55

All right, we'll be right back. You.

2:02

Can see that it's

2:04

like a. Truce

2:08

Fact: That.

2:12

The player would see the fact that.

2:16

It's own brew group. Who

2:19

to be? Any guy? He

2:21

was a black or does it me that

2:23

able to you blow to wait. it's own

2:25

of hot now. Real

2:28

know the good in new players

2:31

like me don't way to crack

2:33

down on. Both.

2:39

Sides don't. Know

2:41

you know did this. Huge. A

2:45

way to breed. Is. To put. Forward.

2:50

You mean said noises when

2:52

you're listening? Oh

2:55

boy, you call me sound, You got literal

2:57

gear at home. I'm

3:00

the oldest as much as a.

3:03

That might. Be

3:06

for can't have never think this is. Why

3:10

is jasmine tea can do to? Make

3:14

a list age group Idea: Lola.

3:17

See. I'm low on some home. it's

3:19

all. it's a deer and thousand would

3:21

you would say nudity did you install?

3:23

You draw anybody? Who's.

3:27

Supposed to see them and so Congratulations

3:29

Jasmine! Emptiness Syndrome

3:31

and. Season

3:34

in on that that is not an

3:36

adult uncle mind because I did see

3:39

they are really bad so you up

3:41

when Hcc the my body. Maggie.

3:43

Their flabby. Nate right here. There.

3:45

Are cars and know. You.

3:48

Get a job, knit a Gobbler. Magnet.

3:52

Named. Because. The highlight? I'm

3:54

a nerd of money and need. A

3:57

so on, How do on in a city?

4:01

You know, I'm just gonna eat you

4:03

take the shit out of some vitamin C

4:05

gummies though. Oh Yeah, I

4:08

just talk about four of my eat the shit out

4:10

of those because what I do Because

4:13

every time you turn around a nigga got

4:15

crabs gonna real cold We the mall you

4:17

flew I ain't trying to get sick. I

4:19

got shit to do out here. Do you

4:21

have covered man on set anymore? No,

4:24

we don't have that anymore. Okay He

4:27

still works here, but he does something else

4:29

now he gets the audience in and out

4:32

Okay, I bet he's good at that cuz he's real bossy Yeah.

4:36

Yeah, I always told I think he

4:38

shop at Fashion Nova and

4:40

he always got on some girl tracks and

4:43

so With

4:47

a bedazzled track suit on one day

4:50

what the fuck do you have on?

4:53

These are girl clothes that nigga shopper

4:56

the crystal ball collection. I Don't

5:01

know where you shopper but I tell you what that is

5:03

me always got on some little cinnamon He

5:07

was always sparkling cinnamon

5:10

Yeah, hey shoes. I bet

5:12

you I bet you the crack of your hands.

5:15

Yep. You're drawing and rhinestone Oh You

5:20

like then no, huh? Oh

5:23

gee Wow. Oh No

5:29

about that one bad What

5:33

I just wait I thought the screen was frozen

5:39

What do y'all think about Jay Z Speech

5:41

at the Grammy. I didn't

5:43

see it. Give me the I know

5:45

he said something about Beyonce Beyonce

5:48

never won ever another year. That's

5:50

unbelievable Because

5:53

they have given Beyonce every trophy that

5:55

they can stick around doesn't she have

5:57

more of Grammys than any other personal

5:59

life She do. She

6:01

do. Okay, what are we

6:03

complaining about then? She

6:05

never got an album of the year and I think, oh,

6:09

the little tagler girl done won about four or five

6:11

times. Or two, three times, I

6:13

don't know. But she still has the most Grammys of

6:15

anyone ever? Now you're frozen. Uh

6:23

oh, don't get to slip these after you. I'm gonna put it

6:25

right out. What did he say? I'm gonna put

6:27

it up. I can't tell you where for her we said. Here,

6:29

I'll see if I can pull it up. Sorry,

6:32

I asked you a question and then it froze. Hopefully

6:37

you won't see Drake's dick when I pull this up. You

6:41

googled Drake's penis. Have you seen it? No,

6:44

I have not seen it. I've heard people talking about it.

6:46

I can't stop thinking about it. Let

6:49

me ask you something. Chris, from one

6:51

man to another, you

6:54

have... Wait, what? You

6:57

just call yourself a man? I'm

6:59

a woman. Chris,

7:02

you... I'm sorry

7:07

to interrupt. Go ahead. You

7:09

ever get a little... How

7:11

do I feel to see a dick bigger than yours? I

7:15

don't think I feel anything. It's funnier. It's

7:18

funny because before I saw it, I saw...

7:21

Here's a video of an elephant swinging around and then when I

7:23

saw the video, it made me think of that, so I started

7:26

laughing. But I don't have

7:28

a reaction to it because I know people have

7:30

bigger penises than me. I'm

7:33

friends with Dion. I

7:40

can tell you this time, the first time I took a shit

7:42

longer than my dick, I was very upset. Yeah,

7:48

Drake had a leaked video where he's playing with

7:51

himself in the mirror and wow. Oh

7:56

no, they got a masturbation video?

7:58

Pringle can size Dion. the

8:01

little ones are the big ones have

8:03

you two not seen it I haven't

8:05

seen it all right you

8:08

copied this over this

8:10

happened today you didn't you haven't heard about it I've

8:13

been shooting all day let me see great try to

8:15

make his song

8:19

go number one

8:21

all right I

8:24

don't want to pull it up cuz I don't want Kate to have to

8:26

see it she's got

8:29

a gay

8:31

woman CD yeah I

8:34

just texted it to you we can watch your facial

8:36

expressions when you see it why

8:40

you gonna watch my facial expression why we can't

8:42

show the audience because

8:45

it'll get flagged on YouTube yeah

8:47

because it's a private video that's

8:51

Jake dick oh

8:54

shit are you kidding

8:56

me come on oh footlong

8:59

and who's the size Queen that

9:01

just said that I

9:16

don't know that's what the internet told me I'm

9:19

not the gold I'm gonna

9:21

regret it immediately that shit don't

9:24

even work it ain't even all

9:30

this is a dickhead going

9:32

crazy she has you chaffing well

9:35

let me see it not

9:37

that long though you got

9:49

it it's a wider than

9:51

that yeah it's

9:53

got that little door stopper So

10:00

I can't tell those one of them.

10:02

Oh, OK. But this ain't

10:04

nothing crazy. We can't

10:06

see it. Thankfully, Jasmine, that was very blurry.

10:09

That's like if Dion was fucking me.

10:11

It just don't work. That would never

10:14

happen. Yeah, I would. I

10:16

would. I joined our own Patreon to see that. Yeah,

10:19

I'm just saying it's very skinny

10:21

and limpy and one

10:23

that hard. You're not

10:25

talking about my dick there. I

10:28

mean, that's what my dick will be like if we were trying

10:30

to fuck. It would work at all. There'd

10:32

be limpy and sad. The

10:35

hard. Yeah. He's very upset with

10:37

his self. Yeah,

10:40

look at his feet. Here's

10:42

the let me see if

10:44

make sure that I did this right. So

10:47

here's the speech Jay-Z gave for Beyonce. Fresh

10:49

Prince when they first Grammy in 89 and

10:52

boycotting because it wasn't televised. And

10:55

then. They

10:57

went to the hotel and watched the Grammys. I didn't

10:59

even understand what the. Wasn't

11:03

a great boy type. Yeah,

11:08

but then 98, I took a page out

11:10

of their book. I was nominated for

11:13

the best rap album and DMX

11:15

had dropped two albums that year. They both

11:17

were number one. Shout out to DMX and

11:20

he wasn't nominated at all. So

11:22

I boycotted and

11:24

I watched the Grammys. I'm

11:27

just saying we just we want you to get

11:29

it right. We love you. We love

11:32

you. We love you. We want you to get it right.

11:34

At least get it close to right. And

11:36

obviously it's objective. You don't got to clap at

11:38

everything. Obviously, obviously

11:41

it's subjective because,

11:44

you know, it's music and it's opinion based.

11:46

But, you know, some things, you

11:49

know, I don't want to embarrass this young lady,

11:51

but she has more Grammys than everyone and never won album

11:53

in a year. So

11:55

even by your own metrics, that doesn't work. Think

11:59

about that. The most grand never

12:02

won album of the year. That doesn't work. Did

12:05

you say stop it there? No,

12:08

actually nobody. You know, some

12:10

of you, some of you gonna go home

12:12

tonight and feel like you've been robbed. Some

12:16

of you made it, Rob. Some

12:21

of you don't belong in the category. No,

12:24

no, no, no, no, no, no,

12:26

no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no,

12:28

no, no, no, no, no, no that's not great. Benall

12:34

your Parap likes. You

12:37

can even say Companion to a When

12:41

I get nervous, I tell the truth. But

12:43

outside of that, outside of that, you know,

12:46

we got to keep showing up and

12:48

forget the grammar. Is for a second

12:50

just in life, as my daughter sits

12:52

instead that means that we nervous as

12:54

I'm just in life. Accolades you feel

12:56

you deserve until they call you chairman

12:58

until they call you a genius until

13:00

they call you the greatest of all

13:02

time. You feel me? A

13:11

nice speech. His daughter was

13:13

there too. It's funny. He's nervous. I

13:16

don't think he's nervous. They

13:18

said the Internet is so fucking

13:20

mean because they ran up and said, oh,

13:22

his daughter's dress is so inappropriate. I said,

13:24

y'all, that that that dress that baby had on

13:26

probably cost more than your car. I

13:29

hate when break broke

13:31

niggas make

13:33

rich niggas opinion. How is that even in

13:35

the realm of inappropriate? Yeah,

13:38

I didn't think so either. But everybody,

13:40

oh, my God, it's followed on for

13:42

shoulder. But your daughter go to the

13:44

prom with a motherfucking dress on that

13:46

can see her pussy and she don't even shade

13:49

a half on the back because she want to

13:51

be the baddest bitch at the prom. Is

13:54

that the qualification? No,

13:56

they all look like holes now, but

13:58

they make me. Internet just make

14:00

me so fucking sick because they're always

14:02

running a fucking mouse Oh, if

14:05

you're not harming a child Then

14:08

shut the fuck up. Somebody's not harming a

14:10

child. This shit the fuck up If you're

14:13

a parent and everybody know that girl is

14:15

well taken care of I asked a thousand

14:17

dollar fending boot And I saw on her

14:19

feet as it was damn You're

14:21

like, you know by my kids about my fending

14:23

booth even if I was rich was it that

14:26

she was showing her I mean this is a

14:28

very I

14:30

didn't even notice her until you said something right

14:32

Chris report I like I I was watching JV

14:34

the whole time. It sort of looks like a

14:36

little house on the prairie dress What are we

14:38

mad about? Who's that girl next to

14:41

Trevor? No, I Don't

14:43

know her either but my thing is my

14:45

thing is I'm like y'all shit. Please fuck

14:47

up Just shut the

14:49

fuck up. Y'all always speaking on shit. You

14:51

don't know anything about leave them people alone

14:54

Three then you talking to shit with

14:57

this kid has a phone and she got a

14:59

stroll to internet and see all the horrible Shit,

15:01

you nigga said by her Yeah,

15:03

I don't even make no fucking money. She

15:06

is the hardware Whatever

15:08

whatever I'm just saying people talk

15:10

to but if we will learn

15:12

to mine our motherfucking business in

15:14

this country In this world, we

15:16

will be better to fuck off Who

15:19

do who are you to tell me what my daughter

15:21

can wear? If she's

15:23

well taken care of If

15:25

I didn't like I was well, you know, I didn't

15:27

like hell. I I didn't

15:29

buy that motherfucking $30,000 dress. I Guess

15:34

it. How old is she? Is that the blue ivy, right?

15:37

Yeah, okay. Let's look at I mean, is

15:39

there some sort of that she's too young to wear

15:41

it That's what they

15:43

were saying. They show her cleavage you bitches

15:46

bow child cleavage. So shut the fuck. Oh,

15:48

she's 12 You had

15:50

to really be looking for cleavage

15:52

there Knuckles

15:56

so I'm

16:00

talking about a 12 year old

16:03

girl's knockers. Look,

16:05

she learned it came by a doctor, man. I'm trying to have

16:07

a career after it. I

16:09

mean, I'm just saying how just

16:12

mean people were. And now to

16:14

go back and look at the dress, I'm like, what the

16:16

fuck is wrong with this baby dress? Ain't nothing wrong with

16:18

her dress. She look beautiful to me. People

16:21

hate successful people. That's really what it comes down

16:23

to. They're jealous. And that's what I wanted

16:25

to hear out of a white man mouth. So with

16:27

that said, y'all fuck off. Yeah.

16:32

What are you going to say, Dion? It's

16:35

the internet, man. People say stuff behind

16:37

the computer screen. They were never saying in real life.

16:41

It's just what they do. Sitting there

16:43

looking like a motherfucking squirrel pussy. They

16:46

don't mean. All right. Let's

16:49

just take the elephant and put it on the table.

16:52

I mean, McDuffin is jealous of me and that's why

16:54

he makes the memes. You're

16:56

all thinking it. Is

17:02

he jealous of the girth or the length?

17:08

The happiness. Maybe the happiness. Oh,

17:11

my definitely is a really nice looking

17:13

man. I don't think he's jealous of

17:15

you. That's why it's so crazy. He's

17:17

alone. So very alone. People

17:21

like that. You

17:23

might think he alone. He might get in the

17:25

basement and don't want to leave. No,

17:27

can't. He

17:30

don't tell his business. I

17:32

guarantee I thought on women at the

17:34

motherfucking party. They were throwing

17:36

so much pussy at me. He

17:38

took pussy home and ate it for

17:40

leftover three days later. He

17:44

didn't show up this year and he could have just

17:46

had a whole buffet. You're exactly right. No,

17:49

he didn't show up because he still had pussy

17:51

from last year. He's a Tupperware probably

17:53

in the freezer. Yeah.

17:55

My motherfucker is eating your

17:57

own leftover pussy. Cannibals.

18:01

I'm just saying, those

18:03

are the how many women he pulls

18:06

so he can still call up and

18:08

get push. It's no need for Maduffin

18:10

to restack his hash right

18:12

now. So he's good. We're

18:16

going to go to a break. Hold on. Okay. We'll

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welcome back. Yeah, my

21:41

husband is sick, so I gotta get in my arm. Ooh,

21:43

he's a backbender. Is he okay? Yeah,

21:46

he's fine, he's getting back issues, I hope

21:49

so. But he just have it, you

21:51

know. He, he,

21:53

he, he get to your fifties and things hurt.

21:57

Man, let me tell you something. It hurts me

21:59

to pull my arm. underwear damn. Is

22:02

that for the sticking? Because they're

22:04

heavy? I don't know, but

22:06

I'm not allowed

22:08

to put on my drawers. I got

22:11

a swing on my leg. It's like

22:13

parachute when you're in grade school. I'm

22:19

like, man, getting old, so I'm

22:21

like, Lloyd, can you give me my 20-year-old

22:23

bones? You

22:25

know, I'm in my back and I

22:28

mean, I don't know about, you know, I

22:30

had a lot of y'all. That's

22:33

the crazy shit. When? I

22:38

didn't tell you about my. No, you

22:40

didn't know. So

22:42

I go to the doctor. I say my job

22:44

hurts. Wasn't my job

22:46

hurt y'all? So this is

22:48

recently. Yeah, about

22:50

about a month ago. Okay. And

22:53

I told y'all this and the doctor said my

22:55

jaw was locked. So I said, I came,

22:57

there was a dentist. I said, so I came here for you to

22:59

tell me to suck, d***. How

23:03

many attempts did it take

23:05

to unlock your jaw? You

23:09

just call your brother and have him break into it. Well,

23:15

actually, what I was like, I started chewing

23:17

his gum

23:22

off sick called hubba bubba. And that shit is hard as

23:24

a. You were

23:27

eating hubba bubba in 2024. I

23:29

love it. Don't you talk shit

23:31

about hubba bubba. The

23:34

hubba bubba let his depression go. Oh, that's so

23:36

good. And then you end up with like 10

23:38

pieces in your mouth and then get locked jaw.

23:41

The flavor runs out in like five seconds. You

23:43

were being rocks, nigga. I'm

23:47

telling you, Dan, when I tell you it was the worst shit

23:49

ever, but don't have a bubble.

23:51

Unlock my motherfucking jaw. That's

23:54

so funny. It'll do that to you. That's it.

23:57

Strong. Two

24:00

bites and it's all gone. So what does it

24:02

feel like? Does it literally like, or

24:07

does it just like? I was just having

24:09

pain in my jaw every time I open my mouth. I

24:11

said, what the fuck is wrong with my mouth? And

24:14

so I went to the dentist and I said, my fucking

24:16

jaw hurt. And he was like, you got, he checked me

24:18

out. He said, you got a lot in jaw. And I'm

24:20

like, huh? That's

24:23

your first time this ever happened to you? Man,

24:26

I'm experiencing a lot of first time

24:28

pain. What

24:30

else hurts? Nigga, I don't have to perform.

24:33

My eyebrows hurt. I

24:35

didn't even know my eyebrows had feelings. You'd

24:39

stop judging people with those looks. Quit

24:43

giving it such a workout. I think this is muscle

24:46

soreness. You

24:48

should call it a rocking consult about his eyebrows.

24:52

What's your eyebrow workout look like, Rock? I,

24:54

um, you

24:59

can't say sleep after two o'clock, but I

25:02

hate bras. It

25:04

should be a rule to just let your titties swang

25:07

after your fit. I

25:09

hate bras. You could do whatever you want. No

25:11

one, there's no law against bras. I

25:14

don't want bras during the day. I mean, like

25:16

flying and stuff. There's no need for

25:18

my three to act like they work. Is

25:23

it, I would

25:26

think with, with you, you have very large

25:28

breasts and I

25:30

would think it'd be more comfortable to have them not swinging.

25:33

Why do you say that shit like a doctor? Well,

25:37

you know, you have very large breasts. I'm trying

25:39

to be polite and respectful of her titties. Like

25:43

the last episode, you was like, talk about whole

25:45

titties. Well,

25:48

I'll tell you this, all the time titties are

25:50

worth anything when you come from mammogram. When

25:52

you don't have no titties, they damn little,

25:54

you know, they, they, they just smash. Maybe

25:56

just smashing skinny. Yeah,

26:01

but so is it more so is it

26:04

more comfortable not having the support? What

26:07

is it like I would think it'd be more comfortable

26:09

with support? Well,

26:12

you should know because I know you are

26:14

smaller brought in me, but I actually feel

26:16

comfortable when they're down. That's

26:19

interesting. Where

26:23

is the pain emanate from? Is it your back? Is it your

26:25

chest? First, explain emanate.

26:32

I know that I assume the emanate comes

26:34

from. Yeah,

26:36

very good. She knew

26:38

what that word meant. I

26:40

knew it. You're using the sentence. So where

26:42

does the pain emanate from? That emanate just

26:45

means calm. So does

26:47

it come on your back or your chest? Not

26:52

if you can't pull your panties down.

27:01

Fuck yeah. Is

27:05

it just the bra like bothers your back or is

27:07

it just because everything is all tight? No,

27:10

it's just all of it just tight. You know,

27:12

I just I just I'm just I like to

27:14

just be I don't like makeup and hair. I

27:20

don't like makeup and hair. I

27:22

don't like doing holidays. I was at an event

27:25

on Thursday night and Plainfield resident was there and

27:27

they were accounting all the times that they had

27:29

seen you out in public. Like

27:33

they were basically saying it's really great. She can go out

27:35

in public and not be noticed. They

27:39

they would always see you in the Plainfield Walmart.

27:41

No hair. No makeup. No,

27:44

nobody that you know is just somebody that's a fan

27:46

that had seen you and I had run into them

27:48

and they were asking about you and like,

27:51

yeah, I miss seeing her in Walmart and she

27:54

never had any makeup on. She could

27:56

like fly under the radar. Yeah.

28:00

I believe other ways we are really be

28:02

a big deal. Yeah.

28:05

No at you know as a heard she pet

28:07

is that you're pretty. If you are ugly woman

28:09

no one would expect you to put on makeup

28:11

when you does out about it but your pre

28:13

so. Lilies, Own zone

28:15

Pro make up to go to the grocery store. Always

28:20

look like Leslie Knope. He said

28:22

he on. Our that

28:24

the Mercereau might as well as

28:26

lights. Adam. Ah

28:28

and I a new I'm for honest I

28:30

had on a myspace Elevates song try to

28:32

say you know on the coal industry the

28:34

what have you wanna call it's gonna want

28:36

to buy photo Matt is because he a

28:39

key kids playing mario he kicked fit so

28:41

was a lovely a lot length of my

28:43

hobbies is the. Part. So

28:45

I'm in. I'm. I'm said now

28:47

and I approve like. Don't. see

28:49

look familiar sound of put the who though

28:51

my he. Woke up

28:53

some research and a say guarantee Yes I'm

28:56

going to get him and it's a modicum

28:58

of was an original girls this. Moment

29:00

as earth. I sat in their room so.

29:02

Fucking Phase. I

29:05

was waiting on i'm a coward daughter lives like the

29:07

get the fuck up out of yes I ran up

29:09

by been asked will. Decide

29:11

if you know. At the Tv.

29:13

The human. The human eyes as they

29:15

write. In. Him. A

29:18

people think the we'd all have the

29:20

same problems as other people. Your we

29:22

all you know, maybe Kevin Hart and

29:24

go in the back of the hospital.

29:26

Arcane. Journal. At

29:29

this. So. I'm you my

29:31

kids Me: A waiting room. You

29:34

know, a cheat or either Santa

29:36

autograph or they die lady. Would.

29:40

Delaney. Woman,

29:43

I was about. where would you

29:45

dc wait no less, she's passing

29:47

away and you said no. You

29:49

like know our guys belly dancing

29:51

with a daughter plowed right. Now.

29:54

As the am not up in my bag

29:56

gum I was faced with I had delayed

29:58

into interview. And. So I

30:00

am on a make-up, I don't want to be bothered. I just

30:02

want to get in here and get to see by my husband

30:05

and get the fuck out. Yeah, that's

30:07

a wild place to ask for autographs.

30:09

Yeah. Fuckin' emergency waiting room.

30:12

Fuck. People

30:14

don't care. No, they

30:17

really don't. When I would go out with Rupert from

30:19

Survivor 10, 15

30:21

years ago at the height of his fame, he'd

30:24

be in the middle of eating and people would want to

30:26

walk up and shake his hand and he couldn't, you know,

30:28

you're like, don't shake

30:30

the man's hand while he's eating a meal. Like

30:32

he's trying to eat a hamburger and you're touching

30:35

his hand. Like he didn't want that. Nigga got

30:37

chicken wing grease on his hands. Right. Oh,

30:39

I don't even care. Just

30:41

have some, you know, it's... Well,

30:45

people try to see the moment.

30:47

Yeah. And I'm, you know, if I'm

30:50

not, if it's not too much for me to get out

30:52

of no chair, oh, come on, let me jump up and

30:54

take a picture with you. You know, that's one of the reasons

30:56

why I still do them at the end of my

30:58

shows. I try to, you know,

31:00

it's coming to an end, but I'm really

31:02

trying to because, you know,

31:05

everybody want to meet the person that they want

31:07

to meet and I'm glad I'm the person that

31:09

a lot of people wants to meet. Yeah. So,

31:11

you know, I just try to

31:13

roll with it, but sometimes it do become

31:16

an inconvenience. I

31:18

bet. And, you know, people rag on

31:20

celebrities for flying private jets like Taylor Swift flying

31:22

to the Super Bowl. She

31:25

would incapacitate an airport if she tried

31:27

to fly commercial, you know,

31:29

and just you can't be done.

31:31

They're just at a certain point you're going to get

31:33

to a place where you can't move

31:36

in regular society the right the

31:38

same way. Pretty

31:40

much. That's what Dane Cook

31:42

said. He goes, being famous always makes

31:44

the really easy things really hard, but

31:47

the really hard things really easy. I

31:53

think people would trade that in a heartbeat. Yeah.

31:57

Meaning You can get out of a lot of situations because

31:59

you're... Famous but then again got a Cvs.

32:05

Would. Be diversity is. How

32:07

can you know about the airport? Ah

32:10

Mau for added the you've got to see

32:12

the is as easy as is. always empty.

32:15

You need one of those the see you're getting

32:17

caught up because you can not where the makeup

32:19

and hair and a hoodie know that you need

32:21

a voice changer. You need to get

32:24

one of those little like a I boxes. That.

32:27

Has a different voice so people won't recognize

32:29

you. Like. Stephen Hawking. Out

32:35

my name is Gary. Honestly, I

32:39

don't agree. they have been touted. It's

32:41

your voice has given your way. Maybe could find a you

32:44

know, Have

32:46

somebody program southern end so it's

32:48

nice and soft and not recognizable.

32:52

Okay for is what was on track. At okay

32:54

input a been in. New.

32:57

You gonna be John in the. In and don't get

32:59

the Negro beginning of a cow some I

33:01

call. Him and call your wife adult

33:03

or Chris Alfredo an evil have a

33:05

black baby. Third,

33:08

sixth grade students know it's he went

33:10

to the deeply is like species but

33:12

he'd be back down. Addition: Atlas

33:16

all my will be careful advice

33:18

for so I gotta go back To

33:21

say it. I'm a

33:23

sat with it. I'd as yeah we can wrap up. I

33:26

gotta go back to sit and I want to thank our.

33:29

I can not wait till the Myth

33:31

Purcell season. For com I yeah this is

33:33

whole. The fact that at this may be

33:35

the funniest scenes always say that every year.

33:39

It is so fucking funny. It

33:41

is society. So. We

33:43

we ever the taps so with that

33:45

say. Until the next pared

33:47

down. Her. Kids my Syria

33:49

lot of respect. Company that cops for all

33:52

Tic is a whim. Companies we can. Ah

33:56

I services gone portland you as up owed

33:58

debt in bed at all. Go

34:00

ahead and go to mspatcomedy.com and get

34:03

your tickets. San Francisco and Portland, I'm

34:05

on my fucking way. And

34:07

hey, I just added New Orleans. I

34:09

just added Cincinnati. I just added... The.

34:13

Most. You know, If.

34:18

They see as autumn is by. Got me that? Can.

34:21

Thank our so much for tuning into another

34:23

episode or to pay down. Make sure you

34:25

check out my website it miss tech company

34:27

that com for all of my social media.

34:29

My tour dates my book. Make

34:31

sure you spread the about My

34:33

podcast. Please rate every be Please

34:36

write a review A Share. Say

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care? So Alabama's pay.