Episode Transcript
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0:00
Hey, it's White Boy Chris. If Pat Downs
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there, join our Facebook group. What? The to
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another episode of the Pet the I'm
0:17
Here with Cliff Bengal Angle Gold in
0:19
Tune, chat. Or
0:21
a meal. Is
0:25
silly as wholesome of silly I
0:27
like it Or the volume. Be
0:30
on the loan the net. Operate
0:33
well. As hopes.
0:35
Of. Hero
0:39
got yourself with those. A.
0:42
Bill that would look at all What? Can I think idea?
0:45
What mean they're so good
0:47
that you. Have
0:50
a batch. of
0:53
your base out that capital into
0:55
let them sort of the bet
0:57
that yeah they tournament at the
0:59
new a ya gonna find out
1:01
why did no way a pale
1:04
each. It's
1:06
none of these ever happened to the president
1:08
is about thirty with the up as a
1:10
good. Ah, she's
1:12
eating liberal have a gun. At
1:14
official recall it asked me to
1:16
my Etti they're committing a hands.
1:20
At her she's are more like
1:22
do. People
1:25
who will be back after the. Break. You
1:29
were. A
1:31
plaque? Yeah. Charles
1:34
fact that would have.
1:39
To play with these attacks
1:41
last fall zebra on Rio
1:44
Grande really would agree that
1:46
it was a lack honest
1:48
made that hour. Away.
1:51
It's last thing he has
1:54
revealed all the game you
1:56
can play. It that. way
1:59
to track I Get
2:17
my hair washed so I was like, let me
2:19
see they were I was trying to podcast why
2:21
I hate my wing on But you motherfucker been
2:23
answering time. So time I glue my weed. I
2:26
think that's your natural hair This
2:29
is my hair. It looks great Yeah,
2:32
but I need to wash it. She is itching
2:34
like nuts, nigga We
2:37
know how that feel yeah, trust me nuts around
2:43
So I'm just trying to I'm
2:46
just trying to uh, well, what are
2:48
you doing with your hair that you needed to wash it? I
2:51
have to wash out to take care of a real hair
2:53
Chris I gotta wash it in deep condition and then bring
2:55
it back down. It's like a well we Okay,
2:58
so you keep it braided all the time and that's how you
3:00
put the wigs on Yeah, I
3:02
mean like, you know trick my edges
3:04
and she's trying to draw my edges back I
3:06
want to be like boo boo the fool sometimes But
3:10
how you guys been Things have
3:13
been great. I'm tired as fuck because the
3:15
daylight savings time though. My kids are a
3:17
mess No,
3:21
it's no we went to a birthday party
3:23
today with ten five-year-olds and it was just
3:25
a disaster just
3:29
Crying Everybody
3:33
needed a nap the parents the kids
3:35
the baby was the alcohol there
3:38
was alcohol there. Everybody was drinking I've
3:42
been to a part with 25 black keys
3:44
and nobody would cry. Yeah, I was set
3:46
your black ass down No,
3:49
everybody everybody my circles in this
3:51
particular circles into gentle parenting except Reagan
3:54
and I we don't do
3:56
gentle parenting We're not We're
3:58
not parenting like maybe you do Fucking gentle
4:00
parenting. When you start acting
4:03
up, let's say Squish started
4:05
acting up and was
4:08
throwing a tantrum in public, you'd walk over to them
4:10
and you'd lean down and you'd say, now
4:13
honey, are you having some feelings? Okay,
4:16
let's talk about those feelings. Oh,
4:19
I'm sorry you're having a hard day. Not
4:23
what the fuck are you doing? Why are
4:25
you embarrassing the family? Stop it. Get
4:28
the fuck up before you be a flow mat. Everybody
4:32
in Reagan's mom group at church
4:34
is a gentle parent. She's
4:37
like, this is ridiculous. These
4:40
kids, they're all bad. That's some white
4:42
people shit. Yeah. I
4:46
wish my mama would come talk to
4:48
me, talk about, express your feelings. Are
4:51
you happy? When
4:53
you don't pay any other bills and you ate
4:55
my food this morning and you were in the store
4:58
acting like an ass. Oh,
5:01
come on baby. Time out. How
5:03
the fuck is a five year old going to express their feelings?
5:05
They don't know what they mean. They don't have the words. So
5:09
it would be more like this. Get the fuck up
5:11
before you get knocked the fuck out. I'm not playing
5:13
with you. Get up Chris before
5:15
I slap the black off of you. Yeah.
5:18
The thing I've learned, you know, parenting. Don't worry Chris. There
5:20
has to be a slap much. I
5:23
used to be very black, but I
5:25
was just horrible. I made
5:27
the shit out of it. No, the
5:29
thing I've learned is your kids have
5:31
to be not afraid of you, but they have
5:33
to respect you and they're not going to respect you if
5:35
you're leaning down and going, now tell me about your feelings.
5:40
You should be afraid of your parents. Absolutely.
5:43
You think so? A good healthy
5:45
fear. Yeah. I mean,
5:47
I don't, I don't, I mean, I would
5:49
jokes aside, you ain't got to knock the
5:51
shit out of it, but I don't understand.
5:55
It's precious. So you having a bad
5:57
day. You're not having a fucking bad day. Rent is free.
6:00
What happened? You having a bad day cause your fucking
6:02
crayon split? I don't
6:05
understand. What are you talking about? Set your ass
6:07
down Yeah,
6:11
if not, then they're gonna be running you
6:13
I've seen kids in the store whooping their
6:15
parents and and I be wanting Jumping and
6:17
help whoop the parents ass. So you letting
6:19
this boy. Yo, whoop your ass Yeah,
6:22
it's unbelievable. I've never
6:24
seen what oh,
6:26
yeah, she's not telling that she's not lying Especially
6:29
when I lived in playing field Shit,
6:32
and I just kept my mouth shut
6:34
like my little neighbor next door Oh
6:37
my god, that little girl would come out the
6:39
house and they'd be called police this bitch sitting on
6:41
the roof Motherfucker
6:44
move and out of beat the shingles off
6:47
your way Cuz
6:50
how'd you get your dumb ass on this roof and
6:52
you slide the fuck off they're gonna lock me up
6:55
I've been on fit pair. I didn't even know you
6:57
were fucking up there I was there was
6:59
so many times I'm not on it don't get this
7:01
motherfucker off the roof. You had a
7:03
gargoyle Kind
7:06
of crazy shit be I see so like one
7:08
day she had traffic backed up in
7:10
her look she snuck out of doubt And
7:13
she got in her little electric car and stopped
7:15
in the middle of the street and had the
7:17
traffic backed up I'm beating on
7:19
the door mama see I'm your daughter out here with
7:22
a battery dead in the car holding up You
7:25
need your plate You
7:28
need your ass be true It's
7:30
definitely a white thing and I see a lot
7:32
of parents being run by their kids by their
7:34
toddler kids who need to be set But
7:39
it's it's you got to set standards as a
7:41
parent and you got to tell them this is
7:43
what's socially appropriate and this Is what's not and
7:45
yeah, you can cry but let's do it in
7:48
a place that is not you know in the
7:50
middle of the fucking store Like
7:52
a baby and then you have
7:54
miss parents say yeah You can cry but I don't
7:56
give a fuck and if you get loud and they say
7:58
you might lose your teeth and they You don't have to
8:00
wake him up to put him back in your mouth. See,
8:03
I think your reaction to gentle
8:05
parenting, that's... Garyanna'll
8:08
do gentle parenting as a
8:10
counter reaction. Yeah, Garyanna
8:13
probably would do. I
8:15
bet Garyanna was actually a really good kid, though. She
8:17
probably had a smart mouth, but I bet you never
8:19
really had to discipline her, did you? Because she seems
8:21
like she just... I hate to say
8:23
a lot of shit to fuck up, Garyanna. Shit
8:26
to fuck up. Now, Nakia and Junebug... Nakia
8:30
and Junebug didn't get a lot of words. Nakia was
8:32
a crybaby. So I
8:34
didn't... after... I'd be honest with you, after Ashley and
8:36
Nakia, I really didn't whoop a lot. Because
8:39
my husband would say, hey, sometimes words don't
8:41
hurt. Well, I'm like, I don't have the
8:43
words that hurt. They used to
8:45
motherfuckers and bitches. I
8:48
used all my hurtful words already. I've
8:52
exhausted this supply. I
8:54
ain't heard it already. I
8:56
ran into... Friday night, I ran
8:59
into somebody that was Garrett's teacher.
9:01
Excuse me. She called him Garrett,
9:03
Junebug's teacher. And she goes,
9:06
yeah. I only met Miss
9:08
Pat one time. She came into the classroom and
9:10
she goes, listen, honey, I'm
9:13
sorry. It's not you. You're just too
9:15
nice. And he needs a mean teacher,
9:17
so I'm sending him to Mrs. Cunningham.
9:20
Mrs. Coyle. She
9:26
grew up two doors down for me as a
9:28
kid and she's a teacher now in like seventh
9:30
grade. And she's like, yeah, Pat transferred Junebug out
9:32
of my classroom because I was too nice. Every
9:38
time I run into somebody from Plainfield that works
9:41
at the schools, they always have a story about
9:43
you and one of your kids like that. Really?
9:45
And I didn't even see my sign up there.
9:48
Always. I went to one football
9:50
game. And, you know, I come
9:52
from Atlanta. You know, we'd be out
9:54
of the parody like, kid that nubble,
9:56
kill him. And
9:58
Junebug like, momma, cut him off. football game and they was
10:00
like, no, Connor, good job,
10:03
Connor. And
10:05
I was like, Oh, hell no. I can't
10:07
support my kids here. I'm
10:10
gonna get arrested. Oh, I can't
10:12
support my kids. She's not wrong. If
10:16
you get too energetic at planes, a
10:18
place like Plainfield, people start getting worried.
10:21
Especially if you're black. Yeah.
10:25
And so I said, I'm not going to, I said,
10:27
you, I can't come up there. They're going to arrest
10:29
me. So I'm not, I'm not going
10:31
to, I'm not going to do it. I'm I can't
10:34
support you. I got to support you from the house.
10:36
I think, cause I cannot sit next to this white
10:38
mama go, go Connor, go Connor. And
10:40
he just missed all the fucking tackers. Tackles.
10:43
Connor's silk ass. Somebody
10:46
needs to tell y'all that. I
10:51
can't, I can't cheer on a
10:53
child. That's sorry. I mean, I
10:59
can't support a child. That's sorry. I'm
11:04
told y'all this story. I've always
11:06
been a real mother. I mean, I
11:08
mean, just honestly, blunt, honestly,
11:10
when, when I kill, try basketball and his
11:12
shoes will not fill his
11:15
feet after coming like you're weak with
11:17
this ain't for you like a goddamn
11:19
fool. I'm
11:21
not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not
11:23
a man. I'm not a man. I'm
11:25
not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a
11:27
man. I'm not a man. You
11:30
could have, you robbed him
11:32
of future stardom. He
11:35
was much happier with niggas hitting
11:37
on him and football, then
11:39
basketball. What the fuck was he running out
11:42
of his shoes? I don't know.
11:44
I tied him around his ankle like
11:46
ballerina. He started making it in him. No,
11:50
but he was so fucking, I think he
11:52
got one rebal at the end of the year. I
11:55
don't think his mind could
11:57
grasp the things you had to do
11:59
in. Basketball was too fast and too
12:01
much. Yeah, it's a fast-paced game You got to
12:03
know his court awareness was just
12:06
zeroing in on the food And
12:08
he was like you really need to
12:11
put him in ballerina, but ballerina ballerina
12:13
ballet ballet Put
12:18
him in ballerina, could you imagine if he
12:20
was in ballet? Because
12:25
he had no but he had no
12:27
coordination he was horrible He
12:30
was fucking horrible. He
12:32
wasn't even a fan at the time Did
12:34
you ever have any interest in sports when you're in school?
12:39
I mean had two kids about it I
12:41
know I as soon as I asked that I remember she had
12:43
like Eight year old by the time
12:45
she's a senior in high school. All right, Ashley y'all
12:47
take care. I got track practice I Let
12:53
me ask that again if you could go back in
12:56
time and not get pregnant at 12 would
12:58
you have played sports? Would
13:01
you like to my coach it? I
13:04
went to Kennedy Middle School and then I transferred back to
13:06
elementary school cuz I was just a county that we were
13:08
in and um my
13:12
coach Oh,
13:14
yeah Excuse
13:17
me, my coach Wanted
13:19
me to throw the shot put cuz I
13:21
was like it girl. Yeah, I was
13:23
like, I want that heavy as I ball I want
13:26
that heavy. I He's
13:28
gonna throw this goddamn ball Patricia. I
13:31
threw that motherfucker. I slung the shit out of
13:33
it He was like you good.
13:35
I was like a what I I
13:40
Played shop. I was shot put because I my
13:42
parents made me do track. I
13:44
played shot put too cuz that's what the fat kids did That
13:52
you used to have to go out there and do two
13:54
laps and I was so slide do one lap and they're
13:56
like All right. Good. Good job getting to good job getting
13:58
to it was like You're welcome. I'm,
14:01
you're welcome. Gary Allen
14:04
was at high school, ninth grade, and
14:07
she went around the track slow, slow.
14:11
And the lady called me, she said, Gary Allen
14:13
thinks she's going to win today, but she's not
14:15
going to win. She been out here walking since
14:17
after lunch and I'm going to sit here and
14:20
wait on her. And she had a new four
14:22
lap. I think she got through probably
14:24
about four, 30. I had
14:26
to kill her. She
14:29
did a 5k in five years. Gary
14:35
Allen was crazy because she didn't want to be,
14:37
she's a plus size girl. You know, she went
14:39
to this all white school. So you know, placement
14:41
had like one or two, two pools, I think.
14:45
And cause she went to the new high school. And
14:48
she did not want to swim. And
14:50
swim was like one of their classes. So
14:53
she, she got, I need you to write me
14:55
a note and tell these people, I don't ever
14:57
go off my period. Didn't
15:03
she get caught at the pool at your
15:06
apartment complex that next day or something?
15:09
I'm shit. But I'm like,
15:11
Gary Allen, nobody stay on their peers.
15:14
I did. For a semester.
15:16
Boy, that
15:21
Gary Allen did not like putting on no
15:24
more. She wouldn't do it. She's like, she
15:26
was jumping in the water her whole school outfit. I
15:29
should talk to my friends who work at the school because
15:31
I probably have a
15:34
dozen friends, classmates that work at
15:36
the school and just
15:38
go around to them and see what Gary
15:40
Allen stories they have because they always have
15:42
the best. There's not a lot of June
15:45
bug stories and IKEA obviously was a little
15:47
too long ago, but Gary on
15:50
a just had the biggest mouth. And
15:53
I guess they all talk about Gary on
15:55
a still because she's so funny and
15:57
they had to try and discipline her, but she was too funny.
16:00
So they like would be laughing under
16:02
their breath one teacher said while
16:04
trying to hold up the standards that they had
16:06
to set But
16:09
she was just too quick She
16:11
was quick boy. She and but you know
16:13
the thing is what I liked about playing
16:15
fish She really like just jump right in
16:17
and probably struggled a little first year because
16:20
the little white girls thought they won't get
16:22
away We're calling a fact, but when she
16:24
ate them bitches up, it was over. It
16:26
was oh, I mean literally Everybody knew not
16:29
to fuck with Gary out everybody Who
16:32
was prom king or queen weren't one of
16:34
your kids or I was okay June bug?
16:38
You prom king I bet
16:40
he was just fun. He's fun. He's good-natured. I
16:43
bet he was just a blast in
16:45
school You know, it was crazy.
16:47
So we went on a Bert crusher cruise.
16:49
He saw a lot of his classmates really
16:51
that's cool For
16:53
a lot of his classmates and he
16:55
got a lot of drunk on that crew That
17:00
is one of the good things about playing field is like I Still
17:03
you know ran into Megan at this place.
17:05
We went to preschool together You
17:08
know you still you have lifelong friends that you kind of
17:10
hang out with because you all grew up in small I
17:14
remember nobody from preschool. Well, I remember
17:17
my preschool. I didn't have generational trauma
17:19
to deal with Regular
17:22
key. I wasn't at a bootleg house trying to
17:24
get my uncle Cecil to fuck so I Was
17:28
just worried about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles You
17:33
had the easy like yeah Thank
17:36
God for that shit. Yeah Thank
17:41
you to Oklahoma City and um, what
17:44
did I just come from? Kansas
17:46
City Oh, Oklahoma City Kansas City
17:48
y'all showed the fuck out. It was so
17:50
much fun So I
17:52
just want to make sure I say thank them in the
17:54
middle of the episode Because you
17:56
guys fucking rock and I truly
17:59
appreciate y'all I can't wait to come back.
18:01
I saw so many crack babies in the group that
18:03
went there. Yeah, I saw a lot of pictures. Oh,
18:07
did you? Yeah. Them shoes you had
18:09
on. Where the hell you get them shoes from? What's
18:12
wrong with them? Nothing wrong with them. I
18:14
ain't never seen no. They look like boots,
18:18
gator shoes, and then the company. I've
18:20
never seen that like that before. Where
18:22
the fuck you get them shoes from?
18:26
I got heads, but I'm sorry. No, I'm
18:28
looking for them right now. I got to
18:30
ask about those shoes all fucking weekend. What
18:33
are those? And where you get those from?
18:36
And I'm just having first a lot of
18:38
celebrities or people might not even say
18:41
what they got, but you can really just take a
18:43
picture of something and Google will tell you. It's a
18:45
designer out of Canada named Jennifer Lee, and
18:47
she makes these spy ass shoes. Are
18:50
they boots? They're boots. OK.
18:52
They all type of shoes. All
18:54
I can see is the top here. Let
18:57
me show you. These
19:00
are here? Yeah. There should be
19:02
a picture on her Instagram. Boots,
19:04
aren't there? OK. Yeah, it's on my Instagram.
19:06
OK. No, everybody ask
19:09
me about those boots. I
19:11
am Jennifer Lee on
19:14
Instagram. That's why I got those.
19:16
She sells them sexy ass shoes.
19:19
So the green part, is that leather or
19:22
what is that? Oscar dick.
19:26
Oscar dick? Big guy, grouch,
19:28
big shoe. What?
19:33
They look like sesame street
19:36
stiletto. It
19:38
looks like you took a, I guess
19:41
the best way to describe them is you
19:44
took a character, an enemy
19:47
from a character in a 90s TV show,
19:49
and since that was a muppet, and
19:51
turned them into shoes, it
19:53
was like green scaly on the outside and
19:56
white stuffing on the inside. They can ask
19:58
the scene how you pronounce it. ostrich
20:01
ostrich yeah they're
20:04
like that and um they love
20:06
them and
20:08
these are great pictures of you by the
20:10
way you look cute yeah it's a good
20:13
outfit thank you I'm
20:16
52 you look great thank
20:21
you well yeah everybody
20:23
asked me about it they're very comfortable too
20:25
but about how she's all the time nice
20:30
I like her I like supporting small businesses
20:32
that's what I like to do does
20:35
he design any for you or where you just pick
20:37
the ones that she had I just pick ones that
20:39
she had a lot of celebrities well what
20:42
I think about can't we running that 4.9 what if
20:44
the cat
20:48
Williams ran the 40-yard dash and they had a bunch
20:50
of people out there that's
20:53
a good time isn't it or
20:57
somebody his age absolutely yeah did
21:01
you see that Shannon Sharpe while
21:03
I'm looking looking for it Shannon Sharpe said
21:05
he made in that one interview off of
21:07
YouTube revenue as much
21:10
as any peak year in
21:12
his NFL career hey that's
21:15
three times that is why he said oh
21:17
yeah the most he made in one year
21:20
was five million so he probably he probably
21:22
made somewhere close
21:25
to 1820 here is the
21:29
video what the hell this man do
21:31
this I mean that's pretty
21:52
The fuck we got cat Williams running the 40. That's
22:01
pretty good are like that. that's I mean, that's the
22:03
speed. That night he thinks he can run the then.
22:08
Or. Does he have to prove? Let.
22:11
It. Tasted t the Qt
22:13
lot of other radio oh shit though
22:15
he's hot right now that say. Oh
22:18
he's hot right now. Get a while you
22:20
can always at the peak at the people.
22:23
Will. Always love. Kick because you
22:25
know easy some of the funniest shit.
22:27
he's a regional, he's all bow down
22:29
to the industry and I think as
22:32
will people love about. The.
22:34
At a brilliant he does he don't
22:36
a different. Power. Level.
22:39
You know, He's.
22:41
Been more my favorites and
22:44
chronicles. but then what's the
22:46
one? That he
22:48
just. Just did. Did
22:51
you see it? I
22:54
can remember that. I
22:56
had to go look anyway. When.
23:00
He receives eat a me. It
23:02
is a mess of this comedy sheet. And.
23:04
You know, All your fault how much
23:06
he tell people. You
23:09
see that I ended up on Neighborhood Thought
23:11
this week. To
23:15
work. I wouldn't. Neighborhood dog. Is
23:17
like the say well. So.
23:21
I went to on. Owe
23:27
it to of. What? Does
23:29
that go? always? Do they a black woman
23:31
in Hollywood? even right is so neighborhood. Tell
23:33
x me they say well what do you
23:35
think about Mon Little. If
23:39
you got it could you not to get
23:41
enabler talk is the grass. The
23:43
and heavily see blocked of her
23:46
Maya browser. Or.
23:49
Something just as. Early
23:54
as one Twenty million followers. Are
23:56
this is a div posts a lot. and
24:00
I don't understand any of it. Did
24:02
they tag you in it? Pat? Oh,
24:05
here we go. Miss Pat with two T's. A
24:07
lot of comedians love to make jokes about
24:09
their personal lives and sometimes that's what makes
24:11
them so relatable to their fans. Recently,
24:14
Monique made headlines because she made a
24:16
joke about her issues with her son
24:18
and she received a lot of backlash
24:20
from that. Being as though you're in
24:22
that world, what are your thoughts on that? Well,
24:25
my thoughts is I mind my own business and people
24:27
talk about their kids the way they want
24:30
to talk about their kids and she's talking about her son because I
24:32
talk about my kids too. I just don't
24:34
talk about my kids like that. So I'm going to mind my business on that one.
24:36
Let me ask you, I've heard this woman have a cousin that was her son before
24:38
and she told him to shut up because he had a
24:40
push-pot ball. You went down and ended up...
24:44
You know her son was here. I
24:48
was here and we were dying laughing
24:50
because you at that point were so
24:52
good about Miss Pat and
24:56
she might cut you off the field but you
24:58
can't help but laugh because it's so funny and
25:01
so ridiculous. Now being as though
25:03
you are a comedian... That's funny.
25:05
Push-pop dick. I'm guessing you were
25:07
talking about Nikea. Yeah.
25:12
But I was like, look, I ain't trying to sell no
25:14
shit with nobody. Why do they always ask you
25:16
about Monique? I swear. This has happened
25:18
before, hasn't it? Yes. Because
25:21
we're two fat people. Two big black women,
25:23
I guess. I don't fucking know. You
25:26
just get asked about the same Nisey Nash
25:28
and what was that lady who had a
25:31
game show? I
25:33
don't get into that. I'm
25:35
not going to argue with anybody online. That's
25:37
what I'm not going to do because
25:40
I would give you my phone number and we would have
25:42
a fucking conversation. She has way too many people to
25:44
argue with and real-life people. She does not have time
25:46
for your online arguments. I don't. I
25:51
don't know why they put that out like that,
25:54
but I'm ready for the
25:56
backlash, but I haven't gotten anything done. No, you
25:58
didn't say anything bad at all. I
26:01
don't think he said anything controversial for none
26:03
of your business and everybody in the comments
26:05
was backing you up Yeah,
26:08
cuz I'm not arguing no motherfucking bad I
26:13
Don't have time for it and
26:15
I was like what the fuck am I'm doing on the
26:17
neighborhood talk? I Try
26:20
to stay a fuck away from them gotha them
26:22
gossip thing I know people who work their asses
26:24
off just to make it on that thing at
26:27
least once a week Y'all don't
26:29
have to post miss Pat baby. I'm a pet
26:31
over here doing some DIY shit Sheik
26:37
says now leave miss Pat out of this way and
26:39
everybody's like leave her alone Leave
26:41
me. I ain't I don't want to hear
26:44
that bullshit Do
26:47
you know what jumba came in to ask me today he
26:50
said and he said mama Hey,
26:53
do y'all know what a liver cheese is? No
27:02
Look at my fridge ready get that liver cheese Portion
27:07
It sounds terrible He
27:09
was like what the hell is this? He brought it
27:11
to me and never seen it never
27:14
hope Looks like
27:16
are you pork fat
27:20
It's not cheese Deon If
27:23
I'm googling that correctly I
27:28
See first of all King Cotton. I'm not
27:30
buying anything from King Cotton That's
27:32
okay. We got with that Oscar mine and let me cheat
27:35
if you canceled the edge of my mind Oh
27:37
that week as fake as lunch meat Yeah,
27:41
pork livers pork fat water
27:43
salt reconstituted onions Lactate
27:46
dextrose and a bunch of other seed
27:48
extracts celery So
27:51
my husband used this shit He
27:54
loves it. Yeah It's
27:56
like hot dog without being cooked disgusting.
27:58
Here you go I get
28:00
liver loaf like olive oaf or old-fashioned loaf
28:02
but like why they call it liver cheese?
28:04
It's not cheese. That's
28:06
because it's sliced like cheese. And
28:10
Jumba was just blown away. He didn't know what he was
28:12
like, what is this? Does
28:14
it smell horrible? No, it
28:17
tastes good. I don't
28:19
eat it. But my husband
28:21
don't get it. My husband, he's staying that slave
28:23
mentality. That
28:27
slave food is it? He
28:30
said, we ain't eatin' it. Jumba
28:33
said, we ain't this poor while
28:35
we eatin' it. We
28:38
ain't gotta be poor to eat this. The fuck
28:40
are you talkin' about? Yes, you
28:42
do. That's
28:44
poverty packaging. Yeah, I love old-fashioned loaf and
28:46
you could look at old-fashioned loaf and be
28:48
like, that is disgusting poor people food. But
28:51
they're, you know. Not
28:56
that poor people food. Yeah,
29:00
all the, oh, thinking
29:02
about it just, you
29:05
feel like a roach is crawling on my back.
29:09
I'm about, oh, it's time for me to
29:11
start my, I'm out. Well, how much time
29:13
we did? We're good. Yeah, we can wrap
29:15
up. Oh, I'm going tomorrow for my colonoscopy.
29:17
Y'all please pray that my asshole and the
29:19
heart and everything be okay. So
29:22
I have to take- They do the scope and the
29:24
heart while they're up there? You got
29:26
your- Let's say, how low is your heart? Don't let
29:28
that man touch your heart if he played in your
29:30
ass. What
29:34
are you, going to hair care and tire
29:36
center? Cardiovascular
29:40
and colonoscopy all in one? Say,
29:42
a while I'm open. What are you doing? You look like
29:44
charger. So
29:46
you gotta have a bunch of diarrhea tonight? Oh
29:49
my God. And then they give me these pills and they
29:51
don't do the liquid anymore. So they give you all of
29:53
these pills. Watch your hair, baby. Just bring
29:55
it to me. I make it. And
29:58
I'm like, I don't want it. Do this. Do
30:01
this. Do this. You have to. John
30:04
Andretti, he had, he missed
30:06
one year and he ended up dying of
30:08
colon cancer because he didn't, he skipped one
30:10
year. And they missed it.
30:13
It was too late. My mom just got
30:15
a mammogram. She's just had
30:17
breast cancer surgery and they caught it really
30:19
early. Her prognosis is really good. But
30:22
her friend said, you've got to go get a mammogram.
30:24
It's been a long time. She's like, I don't want
30:26
to. And Wynton did it
30:28
and fortunately they caught it and she's going to
30:30
be fine. Thank goodness. Yeah.
30:33
So you got to, you, night
30:35
of a thousand waterfalls as Bob and Tom says. You got
30:38
to do it. I
30:41
don't know what that means, but okay. I
30:43
can't even know. It means you shit
30:45
a lot. They make you take something and then you just
30:47
say you poop your brains out. Oh,
30:50
that's what you meant by waterfalls. I
30:52
thought you were making like a philosophical
30:54
thought. You used to have
30:56
like a gallon of something that you had
30:58
to drink, some barium juice or something and
31:00
then. Don't do that anymore. Yeah, not pills.
31:03
So now I'm going to hear in
31:05
10 minutes and I got to take like 12
31:07
pills at four o'clock and I take
31:10
another 12 at eight. So I'll probably be up
31:12
all night with gasoline around the crack of my
31:14
ass. I do not envy you.
31:19
I want your booty hold to get it. I
31:21
feel bad for you. I
31:24
feel bad, but I'm Vaseline. I
31:26
had diarrhea a couple of days ago. You
31:29
got to force that shit on yourself. Yeah. So
31:33
that's what I'm getting ready for
31:35
my colonoscopy. So got to
31:37
get the asshole check and make sure ain't a little
31:39
mushroom growing inside my booty hold. You
31:43
need to do the same guys. Go get
31:45
your booty hold shake because it's very, very
31:47
important. You're not gay
31:50
when a camel go up your
31:52
ass. Well,
31:56
let's put some conditions on it.
31:58
Okay. That's what Trisha did. Well,
32:06
all right. With that said, I got to
32:08
go get ready for my colonoscopy. The
32:10
next podcast, I will tell y'all how wet it
32:13
was. Make sure y'all
32:15
get your tickets. Memphis and
32:18
North Carolina, I'm on my way. Naples,
32:20
Florida, I'm on my way April the
32:22
6th and 7th. We changed
32:24
the date because I have to go to New York
32:26
for one day. So April 6th and 7th Off
32:29
the Hook Comedy Club. LA,
32:31
I'm coming May the 3rd. Make sure
32:34
you get your tickets. I will
32:36
be a part of that Netflix
32:38
is a Joke's whole festival. I'll
32:40
be there the whole week doing
32:42
something somewhere somehow. So make sure
32:44
y'all get your ticket. Okay? Go
32:46
to mspatcomedy.com. For Memphis and North
32:48
Carolina, we almost sold out. Get
32:50
the last few tickets so we
32:52
can fucking party. With that
32:54
said, thank y'all for joining us on another
32:56
episode of the Pat Down. Thank
32:59
y'all so much for tuning in to another episode of the
33:01
Pat Down. Make sure you check out
33:03
my website at mspatcomedy.com for all
33:05
of my social media, my tour
33:07
dates, my book. Make sure you
33:10
spread the word about my podcast.
33:12
Please rate and review. Please
33:14
rate and review and share. Thank y'all so
33:16
much y'all. I've been Ms. Pat.
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