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245: Ms. Pat's Take on Gentle Parenting

245: Ms. Pat's Take on Gentle Parenting

Released Tuesday, 12th March 2024
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245: Ms. Pat's Take on Gentle Parenting

245: Ms. Pat's Take on Gentle Parenting

245: Ms. Pat's Take on Gentle Parenting

245: Ms. Pat's Take on Gentle Parenting

Tuesday, 12th March 2024
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0:00

Hey, it's White Boy Chris. If Pat Downs

0:02

ever made you laugh the join our patriot

0:04

on and support us. Get bonus content a

0:06

t shirt or an autographed copy of Rabbit

0:08

Miss Pats autobiography. Visit Miss Pac comedy.com for

0:10

the linked to The Patriarch and while you're

0:12

there, join our Facebook group. What? The to

0:14

another episode of the Pet the I'm

0:17

Here with Cliff Bengal Angle Gold in

0:19

Tune, chat. Or

0:21

a meal. Is

0:25

silly as wholesome of silly I

0:27

like it Or the volume. Be

0:30

on the loan the net. Operate

0:33

well. As hopes.

0:35

Of. Hero

0:39

got yourself with those. A.

0:42

Bill that would look at all What? Can I think idea?

0:45

What mean they're so good

0:47

that you. Have

0:50

a batch. of

0:53

your base out that capital into

0:55

let them sort of the bet

0:57

that yeah they tournament at the

0:59

new a ya gonna find out

1:01

why did no way a pale

1:04

each. It's

1:06

none of these ever happened to the president

1:08

is about thirty with the up as a

1:10

good. Ah, she's

1:12

eating liberal have a gun. At

1:14

official recall it asked me to

1:16

my Etti they're committing a hands.

1:20

At her she's are more like

1:22

do. People

1:25

who will be back after the. Break. You

1:29

were. A

1:31

plaque? Yeah. Charles

1:34

fact that would have.

1:39

To play with these attacks

1:41

last fall zebra on Rio

1:44

Grande really would agree that

1:46

it was a lack honest

1:48

made that hour. Away.

1:51

It's last thing he has

1:54

revealed all the game you

1:56

can play. It that. way

1:59

to track I Get

2:17

my hair washed so I was like, let me

2:19

see they were I was trying to podcast why

2:21

I hate my wing on But you motherfucker been

2:23

answering time. So time I glue my weed. I

2:26

think that's your natural hair This

2:29

is my hair. It looks great Yeah,

2:32

but I need to wash it. She is itching

2:34

like nuts, nigga We

2:37

know how that feel yeah, trust me nuts around

2:43

So I'm just trying to I'm

2:46

just trying to uh, well, what are

2:48

you doing with your hair that you needed to wash it? I

2:51

have to wash out to take care of a real hair

2:53

Chris I gotta wash it in deep condition and then bring

2:55

it back down. It's like a well we Okay,

2:58

so you keep it braided all the time and that's how you

3:00

put the wigs on Yeah, I

3:02

mean like, you know trick my edges

3:04

and she's trying to draw my edges back I

3:06

want to be like boo boo the fool sometimes But

3:10

how you guys been Things have

3:13

been great. I'm tired as fuck because the

3:15

daylight savings time though. My kids are a

3:17

mess No,

3:21

it's no we went to a birthday party

3:23

today with ten five-year-olds and it was just

3:25

a disaster just

3:29

Crying Everybody

3:33

needed a nap the parents the kids

3:35

the baby was the alcohol there

3:38

was alcohol there. Everybody was drinking I've

3:42

been to a part with 25 black keys

3:44

and nobody would cry. Yeah, I was set

3:46

your black ass down No,

3:49

everybody everybody my circles in this

3:51

particular circles into gentle parenting except Reagan

3:54

and I we don't do

3:56

gentle parenting We're not We're

3:58

not parenting like maybe you do Fucking gentle

4:00

parenting. When you start acting

4:03

up, let's say Squish started

4:05

acting up and was

4:08

throwing a tantrum in public, you'd walk over to them

4:10

and you'd lean down and you'd say, now

4:13

honey, are you having some feelings? Okay,

4:16

let's talk about those feelings. Oh,

4:19

I'm sorry you're having a hard day. Not

4:23

what the fuck are you doing? Why are

4:25

you embarrassing the family? Stop it. Get

4:28

the fuck up before you be a flow mat. Everybody

4:32

in Reagan's mom group at church

4:34

is a gentle parent. She's

4:37

like, this is ridiculous. These

4:40

kids, they're all bad. That's some white

4:42

people shit. Yeah. I

4:46

wish my mama would come talk to

4:48

me, talk about, express your feelings. Are

4:51

you happy? When

4:53

you don't pay any other bills and you ate

4:55

my food this morning and you were in the store

4:58

acting like an ass. Oh,

5:01

come on baby. Time out. How

5:03

the fuck is a five year old going to express their feelings?

5:05

They don't know what they mean. They don't have the words. So

5:09

it would be more like this. Get the fuck up

5:11

before you get knocked the fuck out. I'm not playing

5:13

with you. Get up Chris before

5:15

I slap the black off of you. Yeah.

5:18

The thing I've learned, you know, parenting. Don't worry Chris. There

5:20

has to be a slap much. I

5:23

used to be very black, but I

5:25

was just horrible. I made

5:27

the shit out of it. No, the

5:29

thing I've learned is your kids have

5:31

to be not afraid of you, but they have

5:33

to respect you and they're not going to respect you if

5:35

you're leaning down and going, now tell me about your feelings.

5:40

You should be afraid of your parents. Absolutely.

5:43

You think so? A good healthy

5:45

fear. Yeah. I mean,

5:47

I don't, I don't, I mean, I would

5:49

jokes aside, you ain't got to knock the

5:51

shit out of it, but I don't understand.

5:55

It's precious. So you having a bad

5:57

day. You're not having a fucking bad day. Rent is free.

6:00

What happened? You having a bad day cause your fucking

6:02

crayon split? I don't

6:05

understand. What are you talking about? Set your ass

6:07

down Yeah,

6:11

if not, then they're gonna be running you

6:13

I've seen kids in the store whooping their

6:15

parents and and I be wanting Jumping and

6:17

help whoop the parents ass. So you letting

6:19

this boy. Yo, whoop your ass Yeah,

6:22

it's unbelievable. I've never

6:24

seen what oh,

6:26

yeah, she's not telling that she's not lying Especially

6:29

when I lived in playing field Shit,

6:32

and I just kept my mouth shut

6:34

like my little neighbor next door Oh

6:37

my god, that little girl would come out the

6:39

house and they'd be called police this bitch sitting on

6:41

the roof Motherfucker

6:44

move and out of beat the shingles off

6:47

your way Cuz

6:50

how'd you get your dumb ass on this roof and

6:52

you slide the fuck off they're gonna lock me up

6:55

I've been on fit pair. I didn't even know you

6:57

were fucking up there I was there was

6:59

so many times I'm not on it don't get this

7:01

motherfucker off the roof. You had a

7:03

gargoyle Kind

7:06

of crazy shit be I see so like one

7:08

day she had traffic backed up in

7:10

her look she snuck out of doubt And

7:13

she got in her little electric car and stopped

7:15

in the middle of the street and had the

7:17

traffic backed up I'm beating on

7:19

the door mama see I'm your daughter out here with

7:22

a battery dead in the car holding up You

7:25

need your plate You

7:28

need your ass be true It's

7:30

definitely a white thing and I see a lot

7:32

of parents being run by their kids by their

7:34

toddler kids who need to be set But

7:39

it's it's you got to set standards as a

7:41

parent and you got to tell them this is

7:43

what's socially appropriate and this Is what's not and

7:45

yeah, you can cry but let's do it in

7:48

a place that is not you know in the

7:50

middle of the fucking store Like

7:52

a baby and then you have

7:54

miss parents say yeah You can cry but I don't

7:56

give a fuck and if you get loud and they say

7:58

you might lose your teeth and they You don't have to

8:00

wake him up to put him back in your mouth. See,

8:03

I think your reaction to gentle

8:05

parenting, that's... Garyanna'll

8:08

do gentle parenting as a

8:10

counter reaction. Yeah, Garyanna

8:13

probably would do. I

8:15

bet Garyanna was actually a really good kid, though. She

8:17

probably had a smart mouth, but I bet you never

8:19

really had to discipline her, did you? Because she seems

8:21

like she just... I hate to say

8:23

a lot of shit to fuck up, Garyanna. Shit

8:26

to fuck up. Now, Nakia and Junebug... Nakia

8:30

and Junebug didn't get a lot of words. Nakia was

8:32

a crybaby. So I

8:34

didn't... after... I'd be honest with you, after Ashley and

8:36

Nakia, I really didn't whoop a lot. Because

8:39

my husband would say, hey, sometimes words don't

8:41

hurt. Well, I'm like, I don't have the

8:43

words that hurt. They used to

8:45

motherfuckers and bitches. I

8:48

used all my hurtful words already. I've

8:52

exhausted this supply. I

8:54

ain't heard it already. I

8:56

ran into... Friday night, I ran

8:59

into somebody that was Garrett's teacher.

9:01

Excuse me. She called him Garrett,

9:03

Junebug's teacher. And she goes,

9:06

yeah. I only met Miss

9:08

Pat one time. She came into the classroom and

9:10

she goes, listen, honey, I'm

9:13

sorry. It's not you. You're just too

9:15

nice. And he needs a mean teacher,

9:17

so I'm sending him to Mrs. Cunningham.

9:20

Mrs. Coyle. She

9:26

grew up two doors down for me as a

9:28

kid and she's a teacher now in like seventh

9:30

grade. And she's like, yeah, Pat transferred Junebug out

9:32

of my classroom because I was too nice. Every

9:38

time I run into somebody from Plainfield that works

9:41

at the schools, they always have a story about

9:43

you and one of your kids like that. Really?

9:45

And I didn't even see my sign up there.

9:48

Always. I went to one football

9:50

game. And, you know, I come

9:52

from Atlanta. You know, we'd be out

9:54

of the parody like, kid that nubble,

9:56

kill him. And

9:58

Junebug like, momma, cut him off. football game and they was

10:00

like, no, Connor, good job,

10:03

Connor. And

10:05

I was like, Oh, hell no. I can't

10:07

support my kids here. I'm

10:10

gonna get arrested. Oh, I can't

10:12

support my kids. She's not wrong. If

10:16

you get too energetic at planes, a

10:18

place like Plainfield, people start getting worried.

10:21

Especially if you're black. Yeah.

10:25

And so I said, I'm not going to, I said,

10:27

you, I can't come up there. They're going to arrest

10:29

me. So I'm not, I'm not going

10:31

to, I'm not going to do it. I'm I can't

10:34

support you. I got to support you from the house.

10:36

I think, cause I cannot sit next to this white

10:38

mama go, go Connor, go Connor. And

10:40

he just missed all the fucking tackers. Tackles.

10:43

Connor's silk ass. Somebody

10:46

needs to tell y'all that. I

10:51

can't, I can't cheer on a

10:53

child. That's sorry. I mean, I

10:59

can't support a child. That's sorry. I'm

11:04

told y'all this story. I've always

11:06

been a real mother. I mean, I

11:08

mean, just honestly, blunt, honestly,

11:10

when, when I kill, try basketball and his

11:12

shoes will not fill his

11:15

feet after coming like you're weak with

11:17

this ain't for you like a goddamn

11:19

fool. I'm

11:21

not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not

11:23

a man. I'm not a man. I'm

11:25

not a man. I'm not a man. I'm not a

11:27

man. I'm not a man. You

11:30

could have, you robbed him

11:32

of future stardom. He

11:35

was much happier with niggas hitting

11:37

on him and football, then

11:39

basketball. What the fuck was he running out

11:42

of his shoes? I don't know.

11:44

I tied him around his ankle like

11:46

ballerina. He started making it in him. No,

11:50

but he was so fucking, I think he

11:52

got one rebal at the end of the year. I

11:55

don't think his mind could

11:57

grasp the things you had to do

11:59

in. Basketball was too fast and too

12:01

much. Yeah, it's a fast-paced game You got to

12:03

know his court awareness was just

12:06

zeroing in on the food And

12:08

he was like you really need to

12:11

put him in ballerina, but ballerina ballerina

12:13

ballet ballet Put

12:18

him in ballerina, could you imagine if he

12:20

was in ballet? Because

12:25

he had no but he had no

12:27

coordination he was horrible He

12:30

was fucking horrible. He

12:32

wasn't even a fan at the time Did

12:34

you ever have any interest in sports when you're in school?

12:39

I mean had two kids about it I

12:41

know I as soon as I asked that I remember she had

12:43

like Eight year old by the time

12:45

she's a senior in high school. All right, Ashley y'all

12:47

take care. I got track practice I Let

12:53

me ask that again if you could go back in

12:56

time and not get pregnant at 12 would

12:58

you have played sports? Would

13:01

you like to my coach it? I

13:04

went to Kennedy Middle School and then I transferred back to

13:06

elementary school cuz I was just a county that we were

13:08

in and um my

13:12

coach Oh,

13:14

yeah Excuse

13:17

me, my coach Wanted

13:19

me to throw the shot put cuz I

13:21

was like it girl. Yeah, I was

13:23

like, I want that heavy as I ball I want

13:26

that heavy. I He's

13:28

gonna throw this goddamn ball Patricia. I

13:31

threw that motherfucker. I slung the shit out of

13:33

it He was like you good.

13:35

I was like a what I I

13:40

Played shop. I was shot put because I my

13:42

parents made me do track. I

13:44

played shot put too cuz that's what the fat kids did That

13:52

you used to have to go out there and do two

13:54

laps and I was so slide do one lap and they're

13:56

like All right. Good. Good job getting to good job getting

13:58

to it was like You're welcome. I'm,

14:01

you're welcome. Gary Allen

14:04

was at high school, ninth grade, and

14:07

she went around the track slow, slow.

14:11

And the lady called me, she said, Gary Allen

14:13

thinks she's going to win today, but she's not

14:15

going to win. She been out here walking since

14:17

after lunch and I'm going to sit here and

14:20

wait on her. And she had a new four

14:22

lap. I think she got through probably

14:24

about four, 30. I had

14:26

to kill her. She

14:29

did a 5k in five years. Gary

14:35

Allen was crazy because she didn't want to be,

14:37

she's a plus size girl. You know, she went

14:39

to this all white school. So you know, placement

14:41

had like one or two, two pools, I think.

14:45

And cause she went to the new high school. And

14:48

she did not want to swim. And

14:50

swim was like one of their classes. So

14:53

she, she got, I need you to write me

14:55

a note and tell these people, I don't ever

14:57

go off my period. Didn't

15:03

she get caught at the pool at your

15:06

apartment complex that next day or something?

15:09

I'm shit. But I'm like,

15:11

Gary Allen, nobody stay on their peers.

15:14

I did. For a semester.

15:16

Boy, that

15:21

Gary Allen did not like putting on no

15:24

more. She wouldn't do it. She's like, she

15:26

was jumping in the water her whole school outfit. I

15:29

should talk to my friends who work at the school because

15:31

I probably have a

15:34

dozen friends, classmates that work at

15:36

the school and just

15:38

go around to them and see what Gary

15:40

Allen stories they have because they always have

15:42

the best. There's not a lot of June

15:45

bug stories and IKEA obviously was a little

15:47

too long ago, but Gary on

15:50

a just had the biggest mouth. And

15:53

I guess they all talk about Gary on

15:55

a still because she's so funny and

15:57

they had to try and discipline her, but she was too funny.

16:00

So they like would be laughing under

16:02

their breath one teacher said while

16:04

trying to hold up the standards that they had

16:06

to set But

16:09

she was just too quick She

16:11

was quick boy. She and but you know

16:13

the thing is what I liked about playing

16:15

fish She really like just jump right in

16:17

and probably struggled a little first year because

16:20

the little white girls thought they won't get

16:22

away We're calling a fact, but when she

16:24

ate them bitches up, it was over. It

16:26

was oh, I mean literally Everybody knew not

16:29

to fuck with Gary out everybody Who

16:32

was prom king or queen weren't one of

16:34

your kids or I was okay June bug?

16:38

You prom king I bet

16:40

he was just fun. He's fun. He's good-natured. I

16:43

bet he was just a blast in

16:45

school You know, it was crazy.

16:47

So we went on a Bert crusher cruise.

16:49

He saw a lot of his classmates really

16:51

that's cool For

16:53

a lot of his classmates and he

16:55

got a lot of drunk on that crew That

17:00

is one of the good things about playing field is like I Still

17:03

you know ran into Megan at this place.

17:05

We went to preschool together You

17:08

know you still you have lifelong friends that you kind of

17:10

hang out with because you all grew up in small I

17:14

remember nobody from preschool. Well, I remember

17:17

my preschool. I didn't have generational trauma

17:19

to deal with Regular

17:22

key. I wasn't at a bootleg house trying to

17:24

get my uncle Cecil to fuck so I Was

17:28

just worried about Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles You

17:33

had the easy like yeah Thank

17:36

God for that shit. Yeah Thank

17:41

you to Oklahoma City and um, what

17:44

did I just come from? Kansas

17:46

City Oh, Oklahoma City Kansas City

17:48

y'all showed the fuck out. It was so

17:50

much fun So I

17:52

just want to make sure I say thank them in the

17:54

middle of the episode Because you

17:56

guys fucking rock and I truly

17:59

appreciate y'all I can't wait to come back.

18:01

I saw so many crack babies in the group that

18:03

went there. Yeah, I saw a lot of pictures. Oh,

18:07

did you? Yeah. Them shoes you had

18:09

on. Where the hell you get them shoes from? What's

18:12

wrong with them? Nothing wrong with them. I

18:14

ain't never seen no. They look like boots,

18:18

gator shoes, and then the company. I've

18:20

never seen that like that before. Where

18:22

the fuck you get them shoes from?

18:26

I got heads, but I'm sorry. No, I'm

18:28

looking for them right now. I got to

18:30

ask about those shoes all fucking weekend. What

18:33

are those? And where you get those from?

18:36

And I'm just having first a lot of

18:38

celebrities or people might not even say

18:41

what they got, but you can really just take a

18:43

picture of something and Google will tell you. It's a

18:45

designer out of Canada named Jennifer Lee, and

18:47

she makes these spy ass shoes. Are

18:50

they boots? They're boots. OK.

18:52

They all type of shoes. All

18:54

I can see is the top here. Let

18:57

me show you. These

19:00

are here? Yeah. There should be

19:02

a picture on her Instagram. Boots,

19:04

aren't there? OK. Yeah, it's on my Instagram.

19:06

OK. No, everybody ask

19:09

me about those boots. I

19:11

am Jennifer Lee on

19:14

Instagram. That's why I got those.

19:16

She sells them sexy ass shoes.

19:19

So the green part, is that leather or

19:22

what is that? Oscar dick.

19:26

Oscar dick? Big guy, grouch,

19:28

big shoe. What?

19:33

They look like sesame street

19:36

stiletto. It

19:38

looks like you took a, I guess

19:41

the best way to describe them is you

19:44

took a character, an enemy

19:47

from a character in a 90s TV show,

19:49

and since that was a muppet, and

19:51

turned them into shoes, it

19:53

was like green scaly on the outside and

19:56

white stuffing on the inside. They can ask

19:58

the scene how you pronounce it. ostrich

20:01

ostrich yeah they're

20:04

like that and um they love

20:06

them and

20:08

these are great pictures of you by the

20:10

way you look cute yeah it's a good

20:13

outfit thank you I'm

20:16

52 you look great thank

20:21

you well yeah everybody

20:23

asked me about it they're very comfortable too

20:25

but about how she's all the time nice

20:30

I like her I like supporting small businesses

20:32

that's what I like to do does

20:35

he design any for you or where you just pick

20:37

the ones that she had I just pick ones that

20:39

she had a lot of celebrities well what

20:42

I think about can't we running that 4.9 what if

20:44

the cat

20:48

Williams ran the 40-yard dash and they had a bunch

20:50

of people out there that's

20:53

a good time isn't it or

20:57

somebody his age absolutely yeah did

21:01

you see that Shannon Sharpe while

21:03

I'm looking looking for it Shannon Sharpe said

21:05

he made in that one interview off of

21:07

YouTube revenue as much

21:10

as any peak year in

21:12

his NFL career hey that's

21:15

three times that is why he said oh

21:17

yeah the most he made in one year

21:20

was five million so he probably he probably

21:22

made somewhere close

21:25

to 1820 here is the

21:29

video what the hell this man do

21:31

this I mean that's pretty

21:52

The fuck we got cat Williams running the 40. That's

22:01

pretty good are like that. that's I mean, that's the

22:03

speed. That night he thinks he can run the then.

22:08

Or. Does he have to prove? Let.

22:11

It. Tasted t the Qt

22:13

lot of other radio oh shit though

22:15

he's hot right now that say. Oh

22:18

he's hot right now. Get a while you

22:20

can always at the peak at the people.

22:23

Will. Always love. Kick because you

22:25

know easy some of the funniest shit.

22:27

he's a regional, he's all bow down

22:29

to the industry and I think as

22:32

will people love about. The.

22:34

At a brilliant he does he don't

22:36

a different. Power. Level.

22:39

You know, He's.

22:41

Been more my favorites and

22:44

chronicles. but then what's the

22:46

one? That he

22:48

just. Just did. Did

22:51

you see it? I

22:54

can remember that. I

22:56

had to go look anyway. When.

23:00

He receives eat a me. It

23:02

is a mess of this comedy sheet. And.

23:04

You know, All your fault how much

23:06

he tell people. You

23:09

see that I ended up on Neighborhood Thought

23:11

this week. To

23:15

work. I wouldn't. Neighborhood dog. Is

23:17

like the say well. So.

23:21

I went to on. Owe

23:27

it to of. What? Does

23:29

that go? always? Do they a black woman

23:31

in Hollywood? even right is so neighborhood. Tell

23:33

x me they say well what do you

23:35

think about Mon Little. If

23:39

you got it could you not to get

23:41

enabler talk is the grass. The

23:43

and heavily see blocked of her

23:46

Maya browser. Or.

23:49

Something just as. Early

23:54

as one Twenty million followers. Are

23:56

this is a div posts a lot. and

24:00

I don't understand any of it. Did

24:02

they tag you in it? Pat? Oh,

24:05

here we go. Miss Pat with two T's. A

24:07

lot of comedians love to make jokes about

24:09

their personal lives and sometimes that's what makes

24:11

them so relatable to their fans. Recently,

24:14

Monique made headlines because she made a

24:16

joke about her issues with her son

24:18

and she received a lot of backlash

24:20

from that. Being as though you're in

24:22

that world, what are your thoughts on that? Well,

24:25

my thoughts is I mind my own business and people

24:27

talk about their kids the way they want

24:30

to talk about their kids and she's talking about her son because I

24:32

talk about my kids too. I just don't

24:34

talk about my kids like that. So I'm going to mind my business on that one.

24:36

Let me ask you, I've heard this woman have a cousin that was her son before

24:38

and she told him to shut up because he had a

24:40

push-pot ball. You went down and ended up...

24:44

You know her son was here. I

24:48

was here and we were dying laughing

24:50

because you at that point were so

24:52

good about Miss Pat and

24:56

she might cut you off the field but you

24:58

can't help but laugh because it's so funny and

25:01

so ridiculous. Now being as though

25:03

you are a comedian... That's funny.

25:05

Push-pop dick. I'm guessing you were

25:07

talking about Nikea. Yeah.

25:12

But I was like, look, I ain't trying to sell no

25:14

shit with nobody. Why do they always ask you

25:16

about Monique? I swear. This has happened

25:18

before, hasn't it? Yes. Because

25:21

we're two fat people. Two big black women,

25:23

I guess. I don't fucking know. You

25:26

just get asked about the same Nisey Nash

25:28

and what was that lady who had a

25:31

game show? I

25:33

don't get into that. I'm

25:35

not going to argue with anybody online. That's

25:37

what I'm not going to do because

25:40

I would give you my phone number and we would have

25:42

a fucking conversation. She has way too many people to

25:44

argue with and real-life people. She does not have time

25:46

for your online arguments. I don't. I

25:51

don't know why they put that out like that,

25:54

but I'm ready for the

25:56

backlash, but I haven't gotten anything done. No, you

25:58

didn't say anything bad at all. I

26:01

don't think he said anything controversial for none

26:03

of your business and everybody in the comments

26:05

was backing you up Yeah,

26:08

cuz I'm not arguing no motherfucking bad I

26:13

Don't have time for it and

26:15

I was like what the fuck am I'm doing on the

26:17

neighborhood talk? I Try

26:20

to stay a fuck away from them gotha them

26:22

gossip thing I know people who work their asses

26:24

off just to make it on that thing at

26:27

least once a week Y'all don't

26:29

have to post miss Pat baby. I'm a pet

26:31

over here doing some DIY shit Sheik

26:37

says now leave miss Pat out of this way and

26:39

everybody's like leave her alone Leave

26:41

me. I ain't I don't want to hear

26:44

that bullshit Do

26:47

you know what jumba came in to ask me today he

26:50

said and he said mama Hey,

26:53

do y'all know what a liver cheese is? No

27:02

Look at my fridge ready get that liver cheese Portion

27:07

It sounds terrible He

27:09

was like what the hell is this? He brought it

27:11

to me and never seen it never

27:14

hope Looks like

27:16

are you pork fat

27:20

It's not cheese Deon If

27:23

I'm googling that correctly I

27:28

See first of all King Cotton. I'm not

27:30

buying anything from King Cotton That's

27:32

okay. We got with that Oscar mine and let me cheat

27:35

if you canceled the edge of my mind Oh

27:37

that week as fake as lunch meat Yeah,

27:41

pork livers pork fat water

27:43

salt reconstituted onions Lactate

27:46

dextrose and a bunch of other seed

27:48

extracts celery So

27:51

my husband used this shit He

27:54

loves it. Yeah It's

27:56

like hot dog without being cooked disgusting.

27:58

Here you go I get

28:00

liver loaf like olive oaf or old-fashioned loaf

28:02

but like why they call it liver cheese?

28:04

It's not cheese. That's

28:06

because it's sliced like cheese. And

28:10

Jumba was just blown away. He didn't know what he was

28:12

like, what is this? Does

28:14

it smell horrible? No, it

28:17

tastes good. I don't

28:19

eat it. But my husband

28:21

don't get it. My husband, he's staying that slave

28:23

mentality. That

28:27

slave food is it? He

28:30

said, we ain't eatin' it. Jumba

28:33

said, we ain't this poor while

28:35

we eatin' it. We

28:38

ain't gotta be poor to eat this. The fuck

28:40

are you talkin' about? Yes, you

28:42

do. That's

28:44

poverty packaging. Yeah, I love old-fashioned loaf and

28:46

you could look at old-fashioned loaf and be

28:48

like, that is disgusting poor people food. But

28:51

they're, you know. Not

28:56

that poor people food. Yeah,

29:00

all the, oh, thinking

29:02

about it just, you

29:05

feel like a roach is crawling on my back.

29:09

I'm about, oh, it's time for me to

29:11

start my, I'm out. Well, how much time

29:13

we did? We're good. Yeah, we can wrap

29:15

up. Oh, I'm going tomorrow for my colonoscopy.

29:17

Y'all please pray that my asshole and the

29:19

heart and everything be okay. So

29:22

I have to take- They do the scope and the

29:24

heart while they're up there? You got

29:26

your- Let's say, how low is your heart? Don't let

29:28

that man touch your heart if he played in your

29:30

ass. What

29:34

are you, going to hair care and tire

29:36

center? Cardiovascular

29:40

and colonoscopy all in one? Say,

29:42

a while I'm open. What are you doing? You look like

29:44

charger. So

29:46

you gotta have a bunch of diarrhea tonight? Oh

29:49

my God. And then they give me these pills and they

29:51

don't do the liquid anymore. So they give you all of

29:53

these pills. Watch your hair, baby. Just bring

29:55

it to me. I make it. And

29:58

I'm like, I don't want it. Do this. Do

30:01

this. Do this. You have to. John

30:04

Andretti, he had, he missed

30:06

one year and he ended up dying of

30:08

colon cancer because he didn't, he skipped one

30:10

year. And they missed it.

30:13

It was too late. My mom just got

30:15

a mammogram. She's just had

30:17

breast cancer surgery and they caught it really

30:19

early. Her prognosis is really good. But

30:22

her friend said, you've got to go get a mammogram.

30:24

It's been a long time. She's like, I don't want

30:26

to. And Wynton did it

30:28

and fortunately they caught it and she's going to

30:30

be fine. Thank goodness. Yeah.

30:33

So you got to, you, night

30:35

of a thousand waterfalls as Bob and Tom says. You got

30:38

to do it. I

30:41

don't know what that means, but okay. I

30:43

can't even know. It means you shit

30:45

a lot. They make you take something and then you just

30:47

say you poop your brains out. Oh,

30:50

that's what you meant by waterfalls. I

30:52

thought you were making like a philosophical

30:54

thought. You used to have

30:56

like a gallon of something that you had

30:58

to drink, some barium juice or something and

31:00

then. Don't do that anymore. Yeah, not pills.

31:03

So now I'm going to hear in

31:05

10 minutes and I got to take like 12

31:07

pills at four o'clock and I take

31:10

another 12 at eight. So I'll probably be up

31:12

all night with gasoline around the crack of my

31:14

ass. I do not envy you.

31:19

I want your booty hold to get it. I

31:21

feel bad for you. I

31:24

feel bad, but I'm Vaseline. I

31:26

had diarrhea a couple of days ago. You

31:29

got to force that shit on yourself. Yeah. So

31:33

that's what I'm getting ready for

31:35

my colonoscopy. So got to

31:37

get the asshole check and make sure ain't a little

31:39

mushroom growing inside my booty hold. You

31:43

need to do the same guys. Go get

31:45

your booty hold shake because it's very, very

31:47

important. You're not gay

31:50

when a camel go up your

31:52

ass. Well,

31:56

let's put some conditions on it.

31:58

Okay. That's what Trisha did. Well,

32:06

all right. With that said, I got to

32:08

go get ready for my colonoscopy. The

32:10

next podcast, I will tell y'all how wet it

32:13

was. Make sure y'all

32:15

get your tickets. Memphis and

32:18

North Carolina, I'm on my way. Naples,

32:20

Florida, I'm on my way April the

32:22

6th and 7th. We changed

32:24

the date because I have to go to New York

32:26

for one day. So April 6th and 7th Off

32:29

the Hook Comedy Club. LA,

32:31

I'm coming May the 3rd. Make sure

32:34

you get your tickets. I will

32:36

be a part of that Netflix

32:38

is a Joke's whole festival. I'll

32:40

be there the whole week doing

32:42

something somewhere somehow. So make sure

32:44

y'all get your ticket. Okay? Go

32:46

to mspatcomedy.com. For Memphis and North

32:48

Carolina, we almost sold out. Get

32:50

the last few tickets so we

32:52

can fucking party. With that

32:54

said, thank y'all for joining us on another

32:56

episode of the Pat Down. Thank

32:59

y'all so much for tuning in to another episode of the

33:01

Pat Down. Make sure you check out

33:03

my website at mspatcomedy.com for all

33:05

of my social media, my tour

33:07

dates, my book. Make sure you

33:10

spread the word about my podcast.

33:12

Please rate and review. Please

33:14

rate and review and share. Thank y'all so

33:16

much y'all. I've been Ms. Pat.

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