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0:34

Happy

0:35

Halloween time. I'm RAS

0:37

Hernandez. I'm a comedian and the

0:39

host of the paranormal comedy

0:41

podcast ghosted by

0:43

RAS Hernandez produced by

0:45

Starburn's audio. On my podcast,

0:47

I talk to famous people, comedians,

0:50

ex spurts and listeners about

0:52

all things paranormal. We're

0:55

talking, WeJibboards, Poltergeist,

0:58

aliens, psychics, demons,

1:00

bigfoots, and of course, goes. My

1:03

podcast is weekly all year

1:05

long, and I've got over three years

1:07

of episodes currently available for all

1:09

your spooky needs. Recent

1:11

guests include patent Oswald,

1:13

but it felt like the minute

1:15

I walked away from the monitors and I couldn't see

1:17

anything, that's when the ghost started

1:19

moving around. Naomi Ekparagon. A

1:22

ghost isn't

1:23

like somebody it's not like turn.

1:25

It's like somebody who was like, I

1:27

don't feel like leaving. And Chris Colfer,

1:29

whenever it was slowly just disappeared.

1:32

and that's when I knew. Oh, that

1:34

that was a that was not a person.

1:36

Subscribe to ghosted by RAS

1:39

Hernandez on

1:40

Apple pie podcast and everywhere

1:42

you get podcasts.

1:52

Hey,

1:52

it's White Boy Chris. If the PatDown's ever made

1:54

you laugh, then join our Patreon and support

1:56

us. Get bonus content, a t shirt, or

1:58

an autograph cop feet of

1:59

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2:02

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2:04

And while you're there, join our Facebook group.

2:06

Alright,

2:06

John. Welcome to another episode on the pat down

2:08

and I'm here with Chris and Dion, and

2:11

I want to all know that Chris has told

2:13

plastic dicks in his backpack this

2:15

year. coming up because he don't wanna

2:17

compete with real dates. Hey, one of us on

2:19

this podcast had sex today. Which one of us

2:21

is it?

2:22

Not YouTube motherfuckers. wasn't

2:25

me because I'm not fucking jazz. He's

2:27

so proud of his hip. Now, Chris, I don't

2:29

I don't understand because you lost the two crowns

2:32

and you didn't use it, hopefully, your hands are

2:34

six. stay tuned after the movie.

2:39

Both of my hands wanna thank

2:41

you for the compliment. You

2:45

better get up. Get out and jump

2:47

into this bucket. I guess

2:49

that spin the truth, spin the real fact.

2:52

Right. Not to put the other Cassie

2:54

at the same time. Same time. Got the

2:56

flavor. These are not the same last. That's

2:58

my she's

2:59

she's been on real bright. Real bright. It

3:01

could be pretty okay. Yeah. Same

3:03

time. So in, put your luck

3:05

on the spin down. It will be

3:07

for the weight. It's turn up now.

3:09

Oh, wait. Talk about it. It's

3:11

real, all real. cut again. you get

3:13

your play like it's been done. You

3:15

wait to try and sign the earth. Nothing but

3:17

the earth. Everybody

3:20

should say, you know, fun. Full

3:22

play This is a slow future.

3:24

Listen on your apple, on your desktop,

3:26

beauty. There, sweet, sweet,

3:28

and wait, baby. The

3:30

cold is fucking down here. The

3:33

cold is fucking down here.

3:37

So Yeah.

3:37

But your definition of cold is

3:40

not normal. Like, that

3:42

basement, when we used to do podcasts in

3:44

that basement, it'd be ninety

3:46

seven outside, and you'd have the heater on, and

3:48

you'd have a blanket on you, and Dion that

3:50

would be flop sweating. And

3:52

I still feel bad for the Netflix guy.

3:54

Oh my god. When we shot the net and we

3:56

ever talked about that shot that Netflix

3:58

special. They were terrific. Tell us about that

3:59

story the other day about how you val killed those

4:02

three white video games. What

4:04

just comes up? upstairs and

4:06

he he's like, just pouring

4:08

sweat. I'm like, are you okay? It's

4:10

like it's just a little hot down there. It's

4:14

fifty six. They

4:16

were so nice too. They didn't say nothing.

4:18

They were just gonna die in peace. as

4:21

you knew what people knew when they worked, and he just

4:23

died in fucking peace. It's

4:26

the Midwestern west. Speaking of dying,

4:28

you see Coolio dash. Yeah.

4:30

What the hell? I've

4:32

just seen him in Indianapolis's Apple

4:34

one day, so I get off the plane with

4:36

him. He really didn't recognize

4:37

him. And I was like, who the fuck is

4:39

that? We don't know five plants on

4:41

the

4:41

head. I well,

4:43

you know, he had lost his middle house, so you

4:45

just had plants. sticking out like,

4:47

yeah. Stick it's ringing a socket for real.

4:50

And I was looking at it. I was like, holy

4:52

shit. This whole that coolio. And

4:54

then I realized they were playing to someone like

4:56

Fort Wayne, Indiana at a concert.

4:58

And

4:59

I was like, oh, that's why he was

5:01

here. because

5:02

he was on a plane with me company, and I think I was

5:04

coming from Atlanta.

5:05

Yeah. He had a heart attack at a friend's house

5:07

and passed away. He was was

5:09

he sixty yet? He's

5:11

fifty nine. Fifty nine. And

5:14

I mean, when I said, you know, if I was a dime,

5:16

I don't know if what would this evening he

5:18

was young to catch him?

5:20

Oh, they

5:21

just have it seemed like it ain't stopped

5:23

since we lost the queen.

5:24

You're like, this big statement. I don't need his

5:27

word. Well,

5:31

that is the English queen's way,

5:33

I guess. He

5:37

has a death figure. But I get

5:39

your people. Get your You're

5:42

a Bob and Tom, and you absolutely destroyed it.

5:44

It was so funny. You talked about Meghan Markle

5:46

and everybody in the room was so

5:48

uncomfortable, but I was howling.

5:52

What did I say? You said

5:55

you you let the black people in now, we're gonna

5:57

take over. You can't help it. You started a process.

6:00

You can't finish or something like that. And, you

6:02

know, the queen died. Can you believe

6:04

it? I could probably pull up the clip, but it

6:06

was so funny. And

6:08

then you then you told Tom, it was so

6:10

sweet. You were like, Am

6:12

I allowed to say what you said?

6:15

Probably not. You have to ask.

6:18

Yes. May I say nickel? But you can say

6:20

it every It's the c word. Yes.

6:23

You you just worth I'll let you do it. You

6:25

you just thank everybody for, you know,

6:27

Bob and Tom's men a lot to your career.

6:29

And

6:29

next time you're in town and you see Tom,

6:32

you're gonna let him So

6:34

my call of Tilly.

6:37

Dion, when I tell

6:39

you there was panic behind the scenes.

6:42

She's been threatening time with that ever since

6:44

she first got home. what I tell

6:46

you, we haven't had a panic like that since she

6:48

said piss mop. We

6:52

had to see on the video, you're

6:55

not allowed to say colored titti online?

6:57

You

6:57

can say colored, you can't say titties.

6:59

Hana. area.

7:01

Like you would say nigga, but you can't say

7:04

jams there.

7:06

So this this morning,

7:09

Tom just grabbed a clip of Coolio,

7:11

and it had the n word in it, and it was just

7:13

like you said colored titties. It was

7:15

the white people scrambling everywhere. It

7:18

was hilarious. Was

7:22

a fuck Tom know about Coolio. He

7:25

he knew gangsters paradise because

7:27

of weirdowl.

7:29

Oh, yeah.

7:30

Yeah. Oh, cool. We're now posting

7:32

a picture of them too on his Twitter.

7:36

Koolio

7:36

was one of the first people, like Yeah.

7:39

We're we're now still alive. Hey.

7:41

He's

7:41

got a movie out.

7:44

He was he was talking about how

7:46

Coolio was really pissed off when when he

7:48

first did that. Coolio

7:50

was gonna kick his ass.

7:53

For real? Mhmm.

7:54

He was really mad at at first. He

7:56

was, like

7:57

but once they talked, the weird

7:59

I'll explain. He's, like,

7:59

I wasn't trying to disrespect you. He's, like, the only

8:02

reason I decided deterias because I'm a fan of

8:04

the song. Twilio thought he was listening. I

8:06

was like, no, I love your your music

8:08

or whatever.

8:09

But he did everybody music, didn't he?

8:11

Yeah.

8:12

Fat by

8:13

Michael Jackson? Yeah. How about

8:15

He did. He did. It's probably

8:18

my my favorite one. He did. Well,

8:23

Coolio for white suburban kids.

8:25

Coolio, that song was like the one of the first

8:27

songs that, like, kind of broke

8:29

into white suburban. Like,

8:31

it was a big deal for millennials. Like, you

8:34

probably had Jen Jen x

8:36

people, but, like and then weird out

8:38

when he did that, that broke him

8:40

into Gen z too. Like, Coolio was

8:42

a big deal in Plainfield, Indiana.

8:44

and, like, white American circles

8:47

introducing us to rap. Whether, you

8:49

know, that's good or bad. I don't know. But What was the

8:51

name of that movie that that song

8:53

was part of the soundtrack. Oh,

8:55

that's that's why yeah.

8:57

What's her name? Was it

9:00

Michelle Fiker? She's like

9:01

a teacher or whatever? Yeah.

9:03

because I remember

9:05

her being in the video.

9:09

She's,

9:09

like, sitting in chair all tough.

9:11

Like, oh

9:12

my scared of you. Yeah.

9:14

Did

9:15

it I don't remember.

9:18

I can't remember the name how I look it up.

9:20

But I know the song

9:22

was more popular than the monkey.

9:25

But

9:26

because they put that song in the

9:29

movie, dangerous

9:30

minds. Yeah. Yeah.

9:33

It was in that it was in a that school,

9:35

that white that white

9:37

lady who played the school. It was a white school

9:39

teaching fucking suburban black

9:41

school. Yeah. Here. Let me pull up the

9:43

the poster.

9:44

That's what she that's what what

9:46

was her name? Sharon Stone. Michelle

9:48

Pfeiffer. We

9:49

share five. Well, they they look alike.

9:51

Is

9:52

it

9:53

yeah. It's like Lauren Hill -- Yeah. -- like

9:55

it's like sister act too. Well, we

9:58

need angsty black girl, let's get Lord's Hill to be in the

9:59

movie. What year did

10:02

that come out?

10:03

I don't remember. Was

10:06

it

10:07

ninety five? Ninety

10:09

six? I think fucked up my browser. Hold

10:12

on. Ninety

10:14

five. Yep.

10:15

Yeah.

10:17

Marine Luanne Johnson took

10:19

up a teaching position in Claremont High

10:21

School. That was

10:22

based on a true story too. Yeah.

10:24

Mhmm. But you know what they never

10:26

show? They never show black folks

10:28

going in in cleaning up white

10:30

school.

10:34

Do we do that? I I mean, I wasn't

10:36

gonna say it, but I

10:38

mean, think about how many black coaches

10:40

are winning until white ball is championships.

10:42

Even earlier today, someone was to the

10:44

team.

10:45

True. There

10:46

was a

10:49

picture of, like, playing field in

10:51

the in the early nineteen hundreds and some book

10:53

I was reading and they had black kids and they were

10:55

like state champs of some sport. I

10:57

was like, alright.

10:58

glory road to my

11:01

to I

11:04

mean, but somebody need to go and

11:06

get the white keys of massive

11:08

fittering.

11:12

Whatever

11:15

the shoe they'd be taking to get off of

11:17

femoral. A small

11:20

round, dim a rock, sitting down,

11:23

whatever, working white key, working

11:25

on your calls, and they trying to get

11:27

Somebody

11:27

gotta say, you know, y'all y'all too

11:29

focus on trying to say the blanket. Oh,

11:32

who the fuck is saving the white

11:34

keys? That's

11:35

true.

11:36

Nobody ever stays

11:38

the white kid. If you

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think of a hip and hair from the

12:37

future you. Future you would

12:39

thank you. And then you could thank me.

12:41

They're gonna get that weave thing, baby.

12:43

Why

12:45

don't we do the blind side?

12:48

Yes. Alright. But you you you

12:50

be sander You be Sandra Bullock, and

12:52

I'll be the football player. don't

12:54

say the white feet. Yeah.

12:56

I mean, you you can't jump in the

12:58

water and think we don't say you. That's

13:00

kind of what this podcast is, miss Pat?

13:03

I heard you

13:05

on KFC's podcast talking about me when

13:07

they tried to steal my another another white guy

13:10

tried to be cast in another role that that

13:12

should go to play. What you said about

13:14

that white girl? Are those still happy

13:16

guy? I had to call her and go, why

13:18

would you kill me? What'd

13:22

she say? Oh

13:24

my gosh. She's saying,

13:26

y'all buy a nigga nose is

13:28

not

13:30

because she had just got her nose done and

13:32

it was still slowly.

13:36

You someone

13:38

texted me that I sent them the Bob and

13:40

Tom clip. for the YouTube clip,

13:42

and they're just like, it's effortless for

13:44

her because she she works a

13:46

Barstool. It's our friend Jordan. She's like,

13:48

it's just amazing. Every single one of these

13:50

podcasts she goes on, she fucking takes

13:52

over, she destroys, just

13:55

control the whole thing. It's a I've never seen

13:57

a guest like it. Maybe we'll

13:59

have a

13:59

nice When you called

14:02

Charlemagne Ball? When

14:04

you looked at Charlemagne's. Let

14:10

me pull that up. You went to a restaurant and

14:12

saw a coach call it on the wall.

14:16

Well, let's put that shit

14:18

back on. Don't

14:21

do that. Don't do

14:24

that like you got no help. Don't do

14:26

that. No. Don't be teasing me. Deborah was

14:28

here. Hey,

14:32

did you? that damn

14:34

fuck about it. Damn. So man,

14:36

shame that shit is. And you know when they were

14:38

men, people got receiving

14:40

hair loss, and they don't shave it. They look like they

14:42

got lost. seeks up there. Now,

14:44

I mean, push back too far. The

14:48

whole seat count. You know, the whole

14:50

circle of, like, it's sitting on it's, like, your head sitting

14:52

on a

14:52

pillow.

14:55

Oh, my goodness. You look like to me?

14:57

III

14:57

know. I like, my husband had grown,

14:59

like, dad, like, didn't catch your fucking hair.

15:02

like a motherfucking solid tempered

15:04

cabbage breakeven. Cut your fucking hair. You

15:06

know,

15:06

look. You know, because I have a I have a

15:09

what is this called? I don't

15:11

know.

15:11

Mhmm. Oh, yes.

15:12

This is called a frontal. So they

15:15

hold frontal. It's gold.

15:16

No.

15:18

I can't I can't stand it. She didn't make them

15:20

look gold. Okay.

15:21

This one, Chris. I'm trying to find the

15:23

the clip, but my

15:26

my girl meg dot edits has

15:28

not posted it, so I don't have

15:30

it. Oh, she she be only.

15:32

Dude, she's how I watch your career.

15:34

I

15:34

thought, like, what's

15:36

crazy is we couldn't didn't get

15:38

one in last week, and you were in Indianapolis,

15:40

and you were a grand marshall. And

15:42

it was like, we woke up late. And I'm sitting

15:44

there, and I'm watching, and I see Meggitt,

15:46

it's post this great picture of

15:48

you as the grand marshal of the Circle

15:50

City Classic, and then Nikea

15:52

walking in the background. That's

15:55

actually too expensive. Yeah. But

15:58

and I was like, oh,

16:00

shit. Because literally, you're, like, ten minutes

16:02

away. We gotta get a pants on and get down there,

16:04

but we weren't gonna make it.

16:06

You were so you were in town last week in

16:08

Indianapolis, and it just felt like you were felt

16:10

like a homecoming. went to

16:12

Bob and Tom. You're this, you

16:14

know, parade marshal. You

16:16

look bored as fuck, by the way, and

16:19

through half of the life No. Oh,

16:21

so you see his man, Kelly. Right?

16:23

He's he's his own school car.

16:25

Classic car. So they wanted me to set

16:27

up on his Cadillac, being back there

16:29

to bed. He's like, no. No.

16:31

This is a place. He

16:34

was like, don't fuck up my phone.

16:38

as it's telling me all that big piece and

16:40

all that people need to call

16:42

me. He will try to be a

16:44

nice and fast we say, look.

16:46

though Look.

16:46

Look. And

16:49

what I need to say,

16:51

look three times. I mean, like, SG and A

16:53

going on with you. Okay, bitch? don't get

16:55

your fat ends up on the back of my

16:57

calorie and and make my liver

16:59

split. But

17:00

it was cold. It was fun.

17:02

didn't really wanna do it, but I'm glad I did

17:05

it. But I had a

17:05

great time being an idiot. Yeah. And

17:08

then you play the the biggest

17:10

comedy spot the murat theater with

17:12

DLHugli. How was that show? How was

17:14

it? It

17:14

was DLHugli, and it was

17:16

Sean Jones, and it

17:18

was Ricky

17:19

Smiley. That was so funny. It was

17:21

so

17:21

funny. Ricky Smiley came about your dress role and

17:23

told us by the time he got shot, he's at

17:25

a pay phone. and the nigga didn't even come to shoot him.

17:27

They can't rub, and they don't know the phone.

17:30

But since he said he won't gonna give him shit, they

17:32

shot Ricky and show a video

17:34

series. I'm

17:35

all. I was

17:38

freaking terrible. freak me shocked.

17:42

she took a warning shot for real.

17:44

They said after they shot him in the oh,

17:46

and they said, hold on. I do got something to

17:49

give y'all. Oh my god.

17:52

Oh my god.

17:55

Oh my god. So it was fun. It

17:57

was good to be home. It was packed. It

17:59

it was

17:59

packed. Yeah. People drove

18:01

all the way in for it.

18:04

Messaging it. poor

18:05

Lisa. I saw a Lucy. Oh,

18:07

dear. You remember Lucy? Yeah. Yeah. How's

18:09

she doing? She

18:11

looks good. I saw a bunch

18:14

of people they all watched the show and I was

18:16

just like, hey. Yeah. Not bad. Thank

18:18

you. It was fun. You haven't been here

18:20

since December. Right? No.

18:22

I haven't been there since. I shot

18:24

the season

18:25

one. Did you feel any

18:27

nostalgia for it?

18:29

I don't

18:30

know what I mean.

18:31

So no.

18:34

Did you feel like you kinda

18:36

missed Indianapolis a little bit? No.

18:38

I wouldn't

18:38

have knocked on my old my old house door

18:40

where I sold the house. And the lady over

18:42

the door lady.

18:46

as long as I got in mail. That's

18:49

so funny.

18:50

I was just about to ask

18:52

if you went back to playing field at all. That's

18:54

so funny. She said I'm not gonna do her to get the

18:57

mail. I

19:02

sold a book. Did I went to my old eye

19:04

doctor? Because I had doctor here trying to charge me

19:06

a lot of money to put my prescription in

19:08

his glasses.

19:09

Oh, wait till I'm

19:10

not going for that. Fuck you, honk.

19:13

So I just went to my old. I'm not with me

19:15

who me, fuck who?

19:17

Plainfield's like the the

19:20

funniest place because ever you you never leave

19:22

Plainfield at you're you're always like a stuck in

19:24

that gossip circle. And I was at

19:26

the garage in MassAb, and I ran into one of my old teachers, and

19:28

she was one of your neighbors. And I said, oh,

19:30

you meant you like, did you ever

19:32

interact with them? Do I have Gary on in

19:34

class? She she goes, oh

19:36

my god. Garyana was

19:38

the funniest student we ever had.

19:42

She was the least compliant student

19:44

we've ever had, but she

19:46

was hilarious because she walked into

19:48

mister Harker's history class late one

19:51

day. and was all

19:53

made up and had had her hair done.

19:56

And mister Parker said,

19:58

Garianna, are you

19:59

late

19:59

to my class because you went to the

20:02

beauty salon and got your hair done? She

20:04

goes, how else do you think I'm gonna get a man

20:06

in this town? She

20:07

said the

20:10

teachers were the teacher's lounge laughing

20:12

there. And they had to, like, discipline her, but they'd

20:14

go back to the teacher's lounge and

20:16

always laugh about all the shit that she

20:18

said. I

20:21

can't even

20:24

get around either. You

20:26

know me. She is not the one to be fuck with. Uh-huh. Is

20:28

this since we since we

20:30

does? She she's been in her room. I'm

20:32

like, what the fuck are you in your room? Can

20:34

you get out go get you a man. Go have

20:36

me so fun. So she did this

20:38

weekend. She said, well, I'm I'm not keeping it in

20:40

those other keys. We have I'm

20:42

going out. said, good. It's

20:44

dicking up.

20:45

Well, what's it?

20:48

I don't think so. I just think she's going

20:50

to have dinner with one hour free.

20:52

No. She's been and she's been in

20:54

Atlanta. Has she gotten dick down in Atlanta at

20:56

least? She

20:57

owns mail ID. Only

21:00

you

21:03

can say that about your

21:05

daughter. It's

21:07

really nice, very big. What what show

21:09

are you on where you're talking about Ashley's

21:12

vibrators? So they were so uncomfortable.

21:14

Was it Indi style? I forget. I

21:18

don't want Indi style. I

21:21

think it was bravo man show. Let's see. My

21:23

daughter got a little Dixie eat your

21:25

favorite drink. No. That that was KFC.

21:27

That was KFC.

21:29

Oh, yeah. How many shows have he done

21:31

in the last week? because the guy was, like,

21:33

want what do you say I want a Coke in

21:36

mind?

21:36

I was

21:39

I

21:40

was busy for my last he's really

21:42

promoting this showing. I'm I'm still I

21:44

still got some other big things, like late night

21:47

coming up on your way to do

21:49

it. some daytime TV. I'm

21:51

getting ready to do. So I'm excited.

21:53

I got

21:54

some projects. I

21:56

sold some stuff. I'm inside

21:59

it. Nice. Like

21:59

you sold physical objects or you sold

22:02

projects?

22:03

I sold projects. Okay. Can

22:05

you give us any idea what? I'm

22:07

just gonna say,

22:08

well, she covered from his back.

22:12

Was she coming

22:12

from his pet? Any cameos available

22:15

for Dion and I? Oh, sure.

22:17

I'm at

22:17

the Hotel Camio. I swear.

22:19

They when they bring that special message

22:22

hour. Somebody somebody at work when

22:24

you came on,

22:26

they go, wait

22:27

a minute. You run Miss Pat's Netflix special? I go, yeah, thanks

22:29

for getting around to it. There's nobody

22:32

worries you. that

22:36

that has happened sporadically throughout the

22:38

last, like, year or whenever it

22:40

came out, which is so cool to be on a

22:42

Netflix special, but people are like, yeah, I tuned in to your

22:45

friend, miss then you were

22:47

fucking there. What was going on? I

22:49

was

22:49

talking about this lockdown.

22:52

People always ask me, why would you

22:54

still dress stuff. I was like, I had a funeral

22:56

to go too. I

22:58

was like, oh. And if you're

23:00

in the if you're in the Patreon, you can go and

23:02

listen to but I made it a podcast because I recorded all the

23:04

audio and it's just eighteen

23:06

minutes of miss Pat savaging Dion

23:08

for looking nights. after

23:10

how many years of friendship of telling you that you need to clean yourself

23:13

up. Seventeen. Yeah.

23:16

We always work. That day, he was sharp.

23:18

He was like, he was in the field. Like,

23:22

he's one of the I was going to that

23:25

Peru. He looks like you better take your

23:27

fucking trip to the upper world.

23:29

No. No. No. No. No. No. You have to get in.

23:31

If I dress up, I could tell

23:33

you that. You

23:34

might be right.

23:36

I

23:41

was in New York.

23:44

I was in New York. Then

23:46

I saw a Michael Jackson play. Did I tell

23:48

you about that? No. There's a Michael Jackson play.

23:50

My god, Dion. You Oh, Broadway.

23:52

Yeah. I've heard about it. I've seen some

23:54

clips. see. So what it

23:55

I mean, I mean, You

23:59

gotta

23:59

go. Oh my

24:01

god. It was the best three hundred and fifty

24:03

dollars I ever spend. I I went

24:05

George, okay. First of all, I'm not a big borrower

24:08

type person. I don't really wanna go no months,

24:10

like, Broadway. Right? So

24:12

he joy, like, I'm telling you, a

24:14

love is my guitar. I'm like, well, get the fuck, am

24:16

I saying? So I ended up we

24:18

ended up buying me a ticket, and I went,

24:20

and I was like, oh my fucking god. The

24:22

next day, I take my whole makeup and

24:24

hair to and his sister all of

24:26

us don't. And it was so

24:28

fucking good. What is it? Is it like a

24:30

bio thing? It's just like, it

24:32

tells us store of his life, like, really

24:34

quick. And when you said that you're like, the

24:36

motherfuckers really killed mine.

24:39

Everybody thought it was his friend,

24:41

retraced him. It

24:41

was it made you it made

24:43

you cry tears of the joy. Just

24:45

to know the boohoo planning oh

24:48

my god. So the first time we went and if

24:50

we got we got three rows in front.

24:52

Right? And I'm with joining, you

24:54

know, my new fuck. I am. I'm

24:56

dancing, high enough stream. they

24:58

bow with the whole casket.

25:00

Hate it. I was like,

25:01

I was like, you see them? Like, half the caz.

25:04

I was like, I was like, I was like, They

25:06

said, hey, my Pasadena. I don't know why I am. And he's like,

25:08

me pet. I was like, y'all know what fuck I am.

25:11

So we have joined Spain. You're famous.

25:13

He's great. I played who

25:15

played Michael Jackson. It

25:17

was if y'all are in New

25:19

York or going to New York,

25:21

Please go see Michael Jackson.

25:23

Mhmm. Did Jordan Cooper got

25:25

his play eight no more, starting

25:28

in November. I

25:29

don't that was the only two plays I ever been to that

25:31

I don't mind that I wanna go back

25:33

and watch over and over again.

25:36

Is this it is it called beat beat

25:39

it?

25:39

No. s c. Can

25:42

you hear that? Alright.

25:45

Hold on. It

25:47

starts like that.

25:50

That's

25:52

it. And five,

25:54

six, subcarbons.

26:01

It is So look at his kid. He'll

26:03

let my kids. He

26:05

can sign his

26:07

ass. That's

26:26

all his voice.

26:29

That's his voice.

26:31

That's

26:31

not my financial voice. So

26:38

sweet. That's it for sweet foods.

26:39

Yeah. That's awesome.

26:43

I mean, Michael Jackson's he's

26:45

kinda like Elvis where he achieved a level

26:47

of fame that, like, very few people ever

26:49

achieved it. He beat him. in big now. Well, you know

26:51

what he was saying? And then and then his team

26:53

fucking killed him.

26:57

Oh, wow. everybody killed. I I

26:59

think he had a lot to do this. kill

27:01

nobody. We're not

27:04

gonna do that to you, miss Pat. We will let you do

27:06

drugs till you die. We promise. I I

27:08

won't do any drugs. But

27:10

just

27:10

to see that play and

27:12

to

27:12

see this kid play microjacks, you

27:15

never feel like the real microjacks is

27:17

missing. I

27:17

was just in awe how

27:20

good he the kid wanna told me to.

27:22

Mhmm. I was just

27:24

so at all at this play. And I was like,

27:26

oh my fucking God. It

27:28

was so fucking good at y'all.

27:30

I'm telling you, if you were in New York

27:32

area and you listened to this podcast, go

27:34

see the microjacks and play a video to get a

27:36

fucking kick. It blew

27:37

me away. It blew I'm

27:39

going back at the I will be in well, I've

27:41

been I looked like I'm a be there.

27:44

the first week of

27:46

November. Yeah. I was gonna say, don't you

27:47

at the festival? Yeah. So I'd

27:50

be

27:50

at eight weeks. but

27:52

I'm going to see Jordan play and

27:53

Michael

27:55

Jackson. I'm

27:56

going to do both. What

27:59

is Sure. We

27:59

should plan a trip, Chris? Yeah. We should

28:02

go see it. Yeah. You should

28:03

should go do both. Yeah.

28:06

What's what's Jordan's plays about?

28:09

I

28:10

ain't no

28:13

moat. Let's take

28:14

a quick break. Maybe let's be honest.

28:16

Right? There have been time

28:18

we all been stuck on focusing

28:20

on the problem instead of the solution.

28:22

And to your ex yourself,

28:25

How might that situation would have been better if

28:27

you had a different mindset? It

28:29

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28:31

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28:33

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29:21

His

29:22

place is about his

29:25

place is about

29:26

taking out a

29:28

lot of shit back to four white people, go ask

29:31

leading all in America forward.

29:33

So

29:37

England, It

29:39

was good. It was good. It was really

29:41

fucking good. So

29:43

but it's a good fucking play. It's

29:45

a good play. But we yeah. Yeah.

29:47

We should get together the week of the

29:50

tenth. Why

29:50

am I there for a festival

29:52

and and come

29:55

deal with? November

29:56

tenth? Mhmm. Okay.

29:58

okay Yeah.

30:00

Let's see

30:00

if we can do that. and

30:02

we go see Michael Jackson, age one. Yeah. On Sunday, it

30:04

was one of the best plays I ever

30:07

seen. What about you? you

30:09

know, because I took them. I was like, I

30:11

came back raining. Yo. God, I just got

30:13

them playing. All my fucking god

30:15

is so good. please

30:17

go see the Michael Jackson play. Go

30:19

see the Michael Jackson play. And

30:21

go see Jordan Cooper play. Eight

30:24

normal on Broadway. starting

30:26

in November. The first meeting in November. Is

30:29

that correct? I'm going

30:31

I'm going in ninth. I'm

30:34

going that week. I'm there for the festival,

30:36

and then I'm a turnaround number go

30:39

the third year. you're

30:41

gonna

30:41

go see it twice in November.

30:43

I'm gonna see it three times in

30:46

November. That's key. That's And

30:48

you get bored at shit like that. You fall

30:50

sleeping movies and emmys and

30:53

Workday parties. You

30:56

know, I don't know y'all some your

30:58

normal

31:00

years. I didn't yet.

31:02

But

31:03

they showed us a lot, and I'm

31:05

so glad John kept way kicking me up.

31:11

But it was good.

31:13

It was really good. So And

31:15

Joe was like, oh, I'm glad they didn't catch you

31:18

sleeping. Oh, the times of shit was up eight

31:20

o'clock, and it was eight o'clock,

31:22

l a time. So I think that's

31:24

where walked my time. My body said, cut

31:26

off a bit, and it was

31:28

trying to cut the fuck off. because

31:30

I swear, my brain is connected to

31:32

my breast scrap. Once my kid come

31:34

down, it's like you're living down the

31:36

shades in the house. It's oval. I'm

31:39

sorry, but you said eleven

31:42

o'clock. That's like

31:47

hammerdowns. I

31:53

say, eleven o'clock? Eleven o'clock.

31:55

That is such a southern like,

31:58

eleven o'clock. Well,

32:00

we said I never called. I was I was on the radio the

32:02

day, and I was telling Tigger

32:05

about white dirt he

32:07

had never heard of. And

32:10

I think we talked about it on this podcast. And

32:12

he was like, what is that? I'm

32:14

like, oh my god. It

32:16

was

32:17

it's a southern sheet. Like,

32:19

I

32:19

guess, like, South Me.

32:22

You

32:22

know, just a shit

32:23

we do. What else when we talk about? They

32:25

they didn't know what it was.

32:27

Oh, musta

32:31

diamonds. Musta

32:32

diamonds? Musta

32:34

diamonds. Muscadines. Oh,

32:36

Muscadine jelly. Yeah. Like, the

32:39

little fruit off the tree or whatever. Yeah.

32:41

He he

32:41

was like, that ain't a must must stay.

32:44

I said,

32:44

Muscadine and new. We say Muscadine

32:47

memes.

32:47

I only know

32:49

it because of the duck dynasty guys.

32:51

They always did Muscadine

32:54

jelly. And I

32:56

never

32:56

heard of shit like that.

33:01

Muska Diamonds. You

33:03

said

33:04

it was for first time. You said it

33:06

was for first, they're so fucking lazy. I'll

33:09

try the musk what it tastes

33:11

like?

33:12

It's like

33:13

a nut with no skin in your mouth.

33:16

Like a walnut? You

33:18

said that, like, I've like, got

33:21

some frame of reference. Like,

33:24

Dion clearly has not been sucking dicks with his

33:26

ramping with Covia. Oh,

33:31

yeah. I'm not your t shirt before.

33:34

No. I am

33:36

not. They're not quite about enough

33:38

yet to throw them in my stomach.

33:40

So you can't get in it?

33:42

No. They

33:43

got a texture to them. I can't

33:45

explain it, but they're pretty fucking good.

33:47

It's like a

33:48

leechy. Oh, it's a A

33:50

what? I don't I don't like leechy.

33:54

I

33:54

don't even know where they're heading. I don't that's

33:56

what she told me to say, I don't know what the fuck

33:58

up. That's what I'm getting. She you just

34:00

bust them in your mouth and keep going. Okay.

34:04

Yeah. Definitely doesn't sound like something I

34:06

want. It

34:11

is good. It's really fucking good. I'm telling

34:13

y'all should try. So I gotta

34:16

go and touch I'll I'll trust you about the

34:18

play. I'm not busting

34:19

things in the house and keeping

34:21

moving. And don't forget, guys. We got

34:23

listed two weeks ago

34:26

before the

34:26

for for the I'm excited. you your album

34:30

yet? I'm working

34:31

already. Yes. Oh,

34:33

shit. I get

34:33

too much money. Mine should be here

34:36

next week. So let me say this

34:37

to you guys, because we're

34:39

going until October. So I decided to give

34:41

a monetary price to the best

34:44

dressed nineties. You don't have to be dressed up. You

34:45

don't have

34:48

to participate. just come eat

34:50

in their fun. Don't even but if you

34:52

have an outfit and we it's

34:54

a nobody knows a person that's

34:56

gonna pick the winner in the world.

34:57

But don't be surprised if we call

35:00

you up and bam, you have

35:02

worn something nice because

35:04

you really participated in the

35:06

party outfit. nice.

35:08

No. Everybody

35:08

gonna be dressed in the hell. I

35:11

ain't gonna say how much.

35:13

But I'm

35:14

telling you So

35:16

there's a stage. Are we doing, like, a are we just standing

35:18

there, like, meeting people and hanging out? because

35:20

I'm playing out again. Why girl wasted?

35:23

So Am I gonna have to be, like It's it's it's it's bidding for

35:25

two hundred days lounge. So it's it's a

35:28

lot it's a little bit of everything. But we

35:30

would all have to do,

35:32

like, any like, work

35:32

as far as the show is starting with

35:34

dancing. Okay. We got bars. We

35:36

got food. We got we got a

35:39

little bit of everything. Dion's gonna

35:41

go full Montreal, sleep. No. town, it's beer. I'm a

35:43

be I'm taking the shuttle.

35:45

That's the least. And

35:50

it's

35:50

nothing wrong with that. Yeah. It's nothing wrong

35:52

with this. So with that said, I gotta run and

35:55

do my show here at Cleveland. So

35:57

make sure y'all go to miss pet comie

35:59

dot com for tickets for my

36:01

upcoming shows. Devin Port Devin

36:04

Port is next. Y'all sold out. Thank you so

36:06

very much. and home to

36:09

Austin in

36:10

Greenwood Village, Colorado. Colorado Denver.

36:12

Denver. Please get your tickets. I'm on

36:15

my way. October We don't get sick

36:17

again. Six eight. October

36:18

six to eight.

36:19

I got sick in Denver. Every time

36:21

you go up, Friday, you'll know your sinuses

36:23

get fucked up. and you buy

36:25

out the Hobby Lobby? Oh, yeah. I can't even at my

36:27

house state. Remember when she bought

36:30

half the

36:30

Hobby Lobby for Christmas deal?

36:33

And then she had it at some dude's warehouse or

36:36

something. So maybe y'all

36:38

just I'll take

36:40

his to come

36:43

see me in Denver, Colorado, Austin, Houston,

36:46

New Year Day. The New Year

36:48

Week, I the whole week, I'll be there

36:50

from that Thursday to

36:52

that Saturday. So please get your tickets to come come and hang

36:54

out with me for

36:56

new year. Let's bring a new

36:58

year. Let's bring a new

37:00

year in.

37:00

with fucking smiles on our faces

37:03

and deal

37:03

those in

37:05

our backpacks? No.

37:14

He

37:16

don't wanna go pee. Thank

37:22

y'all so much for tuning in to another

37:24

episode. sold of the pack down. Make

37:26

sure you check out my website at

37:28

miss pack comedy dot com for all

37:30

of my social media, my tour dates,

37:32

my book. Make sure you spread the word about my podcast. Please

37:35

rate and review. Please

37:37

rate and review and share.

37:39

Thank you so much I've

37:43

been miss pet.