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Have Be Halloween Time. I'm

0:36

Ross Hernandez. I'm a comedian

0:38

and the host

0:39

of the paranormal comedy podcast

0:42

hosted by Ross Hernandez. produced

0:45

by Starburn's audio. On my

0:47

podcast, I

0:47

talk to famous people, comedians,

0:50

experts, and listeners about all

0:52

things paranormal. We're

0:55

talking, Weja boards, Polter

0:57

guys, aliens, psychics,

0:59

demons, bigfoots, and of course,

1:01

goes My podcast is weekly

1:04

all year long, and I've got over

1:06

three years of episodes currently

1:08

available for all your spooky needs.

1:11

Recent

1:11

gas include patent Oswald.

1:13

But it felt like the minute I

1:15

walked away from the monitors and I couldn't say anything.

1:18

That's when the goes started moving

1:20

around. Naomi Eck paragon. A

1:22

ghost

1:22

isn't like somebody it's not like a return.

1:25

It's like somebody who was like, I

1:27

don't feel like leaving. And Chris Kulfur,

1:29

whatever it was slowly just disappeared.

1:32

And that's when I knew. Oh, that

1:34

that was a that was not a person.

1:36

Subscribe to ghosted by RAS

1:38

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Apple Podcasts and everywhere

1:41

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1:52

Hey,

1:52

it's White Boy Chris. If the PatDown's ever made

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2:02

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2:04

and while you're there, join our Facebook group.

2:06

Welcome to another episode of the Pat Dan,

2:08

and we're here only a few days away

2:10

from

2:10

one of the biggest party other centuries.

2:13

Well, I don't know about that. eat. But

2:17

as definitely, it doesn't hold in my pocket.

2:19

All

2:19

for the people who make things fucking

2:21

for me, my damn face, and the people

2:24

who support to flat down along with

2:26

the island Chris. That's who I have.

2:28

Egypt every time we do a

2:29

fucking hurricane, unless one of us gets

2:31

arrested, or you you know, or or

2:34

you get kidnapped. Well,

2:37

Dion's the older one that can get kidnapped. I'm

2:41

too fat. I can't get arrested. These risks are

2:43

the whole cuts. This

2:46

is me fucked up. We got arrested, but let me borrow

2:48

you on the

2:52

With that said, listen,

2:54

they stay tuned up for the music we talk

2:56

about.

2:57

We're

2:59

not talking about that. I promise. She

3:02

she was in Denver. I didn't

3:04

get fucked up.

3:06

It's okay. can't fuck that.

3:09

You can log to, like, Matt Ryan. Yes.

3:21

That's been the truth. It's been the real fact.

3:23

Right. Nothing but the ugly cassy yet

3:25

the same time. Same fact. Got the flavor.

3:27

These are not the same life. It's

3:29

my she's she's been on real

3:31

bright. Real bright. It could be pretty bright but ugly

3:34

at the same time. So in,

3:36

put your luck on the spin down. down.

3:38

It'll need you for the wait. It's on the

3:40

hook now. On the back.

3:42

It's real, no, real cut again. You get

3:45

a play like a ten dollar. You wait

3:47

the track sign up. Nothing but Everybody

3:51

should say, you know, fun. Four

3:53

play This is a slow future.

3:55

Listen all your apple, all your desktop,

3:57

beauty. Very sweet, sweet, sweet,

3:59

and away beauty. I

4:04

saw you on your Instagram you were

4:06

setting something up. You were painting something

4:09

today. So Is it

4:11

crunch time? It is crunch

4:13

time. And I I'm telling you. I'm telling

4:15

you. You this shit

4:17

is a I'm sorry. This shit is a headache.

4:20

been so fucking mad. It's like

4:22

that meme of the guy on the bicycle that

4:24

jams the stick into his own wheel.

4:26

And then he's like, why did I do this? Man,

4:29

I'm just You brought it on your side.

4:32

Yeah. The the I've

4:33

had so many problems with some of the vendors.

4:36

It is fucking one vendor. I

4:38

saw many people you're born again to

4:40

set up. They said,

4:42

this

4:42

vendor literally told me,

4:45

ah

4:47

Two people. I said, bitch, four hundred some

4:49

people coming. Two people.

4:51

Can

4:51

you say what what they were supposed to do?

4:54

They

4:55

send out a party.

4:58

You should have got the niggas of income,

5:00

no invites to come and help you set.

5:04

Well, I'm already talking out now. Oh

5:06

my god. Twentytown.

5:08

Yeah. I'm good. Okay. I'm

5:10

back in five hours. Clean this shit

5:12

up. You'll be

5:14

on the express list for next year.

5:16

I

5:17

was so fucking mad. I'm like,

5:19

there's two people. Are

5:20

you fucking serious? Then you got

5:23

vintage arguing? And I'm like,

5:25

look, I did not pay for a WWE

5:27

match motherfucker. I pay for

5:29

y'all to do a goddamn fair.

5:31

Then one of them said, well, I don't

5:34

told other vendor, you haven't had negative

5:36

energy since we started working to go. That's

5:38

a bitch I didn't pay y'all for energy signals.

5:41

I

5:41

don't get a fuck about nobody energy. I

5:43

want to know if you can make these motherfucking diss

5:46

a key. You do that.

5:48

I'm ringing the meatball spangled.

5:51

Why are vendors talking to each other? They're

5:54

Well, that's is is really

5:56

me because You're

5:58

the one bringing the negative energy you're

6:00

focused? No.

6:02

When are you talking about. This is

6:04

the way you just said it. If I played it back, you'd

6:06

be like, it's really me bringing you back.

6:08

There was a chance. No. It's me because,

6:11

you know, me I'm I will hire

6:13

you I'm

6:13

also, like, a a

6:15

little I'm an angle seven, like,

6:16

a twelve week watch. Yeah. God.

6:19

Have you There's all this say, you're gonna

6:21

hold on, miss Pat. We need to process

6:23

this information. And I ain't

6:25

gonna say that I'm a control freak. I'm gonna just

6:27

let everybody else accuse me of that.

6:30

You

6:30

know, I just I want

6:32

everything to be perfect. I want to spend a

6:34

lot of money on this party. A

6:36

lot of fucking money. I

6:38

mean, I bought a car with this party,

6:41

a new car. Okay.

6:43

I could have bought a new car. So is the

6:45

number the number that you told us off

6:47

air, how how

6:50

much more from three

6:52

months ago? I've went over.

6:55

Oh my

6:55

god.

6:56

Yeah. You want me? You got vendors. Aren't

6:58

you? I see why you'd be pissed off.

7:00

And then so and then, like, I

7:02

mean, people's And around, they're so

7:04

fucking, low down in dirty here. Everybody

7:06

wanna overcharge you. So

7:08

I have these I I don't wanna tell you what I'm doing at

7:10

the point where I have these these

7:11

bars that I liked, and I

7:14

wanted to rent them. This

7:15

lady told me twenty five hundred dollars to rent a bar.

7:17

Bitch,

7:17

that's a hundred and ten dollars worth

7:20

of food. b. Let

7:22

me

7:22

tell you what I did. So the same rescue who built in

7:24

my house, I said, hey, it's Rachel. Can you

7:26

build it? I appreciate it. Your month's

7:28

like a bill that month's like an ant pie in

7:30

sick.

7:30

It's not on your Instagram. I

7:33

wonder what that was. What hap those

7:35

are drinks stations. My husband bill don't.

7:37

Okay. But

7:38

my son in Mexicans who built

7:40

in my house, my new friends, they

7:42

built that oh, I got you in my pack

7:44

and built that mother. That's hilarious.

7:47

And then you You know, it it reminds me

7:49

of that clip from a Chapelle show when they

7:51

printed out how much money he made in the paper. He

7:53

was getting his haircut. It went

7:55

from, like, thirty dollars to four hundred

7:57

dollars. Everybody knows how

7:59

much money you make your pet now. It's, like,

8:01

what now they will charge you everything. Elvis

8:03

used to go buy a horse and the three hundred dollar

8:05

horse would magically turn into three thousand. Mhmm.

8:08

They seen you at the Emmys. Yep. And

8:11

I'm like You're gonna

8:11

tell me again, it's calm down. It's

8:14

not posting that. I'll say, I'm

8:16

not better say that, Kia. I'm

8:19

sorry. I'm

8:19

not I told my husband, hey, just get this dude.

8:21

I caught my nephew up here. I jumbo

8:24

came over here with his six feet. We've built

8:26

two drink station, round a bar. So

8:28

I was gonna get the bartender of the bar,

8:31

and I

8:33

decided the other the other guy was like, we can

8:35

written that bar. I

8:36

was like, well, I was gonna throw this shit in the trash

8:39

can. I just need it for my body.

8:41

So look like

8:41

miss Pat gonna have a miss Pat rent

8:44

events.

8:44

It's

8:49

so funny how you I'm about to start

8:50

reading because I was like, you niggas,

8:52

y'all are crazy in this mother luck. You

8:55

say

8:55

what you want about middle aged white

8:57

men, but not one of them would ever

8:59

say your negative energy is

9:01

really bothering me. No.

9:04

They're called a police group. Never

9:09

been on one of those construction sites ever

9:11

did anybody. Anybody energy.

9:13

Yeah. And I'm just

9:16

like Just fishbowl. Can we just get a

9:18

long it's just two vendors? What

9:19

and I'm like, everybody like, the the

9:22

caterer won the you know, because I'm

9:24

gonna call you to the date. I'm gonna walk

9:26

that motherfucker to I'm a be

9:28

there in the morning. I'm gonna

9:30

set that motherfucker up. I'm gonna

9:32

be there. Do

9:32

you need us to help you with that? No. No.

9:34

I probably do.

9:37

What the

9:37

one day's gonna be on I I was just about

9:39

to tell her because I'm coming in late That's

9:41

the case. I was going to the

9:44

Martin Luther King, childhood

9:46

home. I had plans on rent. He

9:48

please stop going to black neighbors? No. Don't

9:50

talk listen

9:51

bitch. No. It was so fun. Last time, I didn't get to

9:53

go in the house. I wanna go again. And I'm gonna

9:55

take my friend Alina. I might invite

9:57

Dion. Hell, I wanna

9:59

go to doctor King HouseFO. We can hold

10:01

hands and take pictures. Yeah. Do

10:02

you have a plus one?

10:04

I do. Oh.

10:06

oh

10:10

Yeah.

10:10

when Oh,

10:14

I'd be trying to send me a picture of you guys

10:17

standing

10:17

straight up as possible. Okay.

10:23

What?

10:24

Oh, boy. I took the stomachache for you. You know

10:27

what

10:27

I mean? I've

10:29

I've been so stressed. I'll have been doing fucking

10:31

eat my favorite boy get out. My head

10:34

and her I'm like, oh,

10:35

I just gotta get through I got a better plan if I

10:37

it next year.

10:39

That first

10:39

one is always rough. because you kinda really

10:41

just threw this together. Yeah.

10:43

Next year, if I do I'm I'm a sell

10:45

tikis. So I ain't gotta worry about nobody

10:47

missing out. So if you don't buy a ticket, you don't get the

10:49

fuck either. Yeah. And

10:51

nobody can be grided and

10:53

naked.

10:53

are blowing up our d m's

10:56

with their that

10:58

motherfucker still going crazy in

11:00

my inbox. And

11:02

I've and you know

11:03

what, the crazy part is I didn't even invite,

11:05

like, my older friends here

11:07

to the last minute. is

11:09

up

11:09

to four hundred and fifty six people.

11:11

So

11:12

I'm hoping two hundred and fifty

11:14

six comes so early.

11:16

I've been surprised by the

11:18

amount of people who've kinda bailed and have been

11:20

like, who wants my tickets and I can't

11:22

come now and, you know, It's like

11:24

Well, you you can't you can't expect that.

11:26

That's why you over invite. You

11:28

know,

11:28

three hundred will be comfortable, really

11:31

comfortable. So,

11:32

you know, people gonna still bill you know, and

11:34

and what's up what I what I appreciate about

11:36

you guys, the audience is

11:38

that y'all are doing exactly what I

11:40

actually do. when they say they can't come,

11:42

I will take that same ticket and invite

11:44

somebody who else wanted to come.

11:46

So

11:46

every every time I lose a person, I

11:49

replace a person. and

11:50

I just appreciate the audience when they tell

11:52

me they can't make it. If you

11:54

can't make it, did you give somebody else

11:56

a chance to come in your spot? That's why

11:59

again the day

11:59

yesterday, we post it. Are you common?

12:02

If you're because I mean, I have so

12:04

much other stuff going on.

12:05

you know, I have it's it's

12:08

aggressive. You can get

12:09

your own custom graffiti shirt made

12:11

right there at the party.

12:12

Oh, wow.

12:13

And so and that's why this is so important. I have a

12:15

gift bags, you

12:17

know. So everything is

12:19

custom to the to the people who's

12:21

coming. So it's

12:22

very important that people tell me if

12:25

they're coming or not because that's how I count the

12:27

gift bags. That's how I count

12:29

the

12:30

the everything with so many

12:32

little trinkets people gonna walk away

12:34

with it. Miss

12:35

Jenny hit me up and was like, hey,

12:37

bitch. reply to my email. I need

12:39

another plus one is coming. I'm like,

12:41

of

12:41

course, my wife's coming, but that's you

12:44

know, they're they're even coming after

12:46

my And

12:46

it's also it's custom to it's

12:49

so custom that

12:50

that everybody have on the nightstand.

12:53

So I you you you gonna be you're

12:55

not gonna look right if you don't

12:57

follow the rules. And that's why I'm constantly

12:59

on people. Are

13:00

you common? I'm

13:02

so scared that Duffy is not coming.

13:04

If he's not coming, just tell me he's not

13:06

coming. This

13:07

bitch. Don't

13:08

you talk about you? He's so fucking He is.

13:10

He's one of the funniest jokes. The only

13:13

person he

13:13

he might be the only person that are allowed not

13:15

to wear a name based, so y'all

13:18

don't talk with him.

13:18

He gonna be the only nigga without a name

13:20

back. I'm the easiest way to figure

13:22

out. I'm a change his name.

13:24

He he oh, I don't know that that's his real

13:26

name. I don't know anything about this guy. But

13:28

everywhere I go, at least once a month, I show up.

13:30

I was at the IAB, the Indiana

13:32

Broadcasters Association event this

13:34

past week. And some

13:36

radio guy walks up and is like,

13:38

who

13:38

is Ronald McDuffin? That

13:40

happens to me all the time. I don't know

13:42

anything about McDuffin, I only know where he

13:44

lives because of the party because I got his

13:46

address. He's extremely private.

13:49

So I

13:50

got an address and you haven't sent it

13:52

to me yet? Out. No. And

13:54

you fucked with Medeforce. I'm a pull up on

13:57

Medeforce. He's been extra he is

13:59

trying to get himself out of this by

14:01

making extra spicy memes in the

14:03

Facebook group to pass through to a few

14:05

weeks. Big away. He did to me with Calionia.

14:08

I was

14:11

I'll ask the wife that I can't even

14:13

be mad. This is fucking so cute.

14:15

I said, I don't know where I

14:17

stopped, and Julio starts.

14:20

He was just so you

14:22

guys work with joke right I work with joke

14:24

writers, which is one of the most

14:26

consistently funny people that

14:28

I have ever seen. But

14:30

he's a scared little bitch, and I don't know if

14:32

he's gonna actually show up.

14:35

Okay.

14:35

He'll be there.

14:37

He

14:37

better. He's trying to get some blessing.

14:40

He could. Even if he looks like I think

14:42

he looks I

14:43

know. He's that funny. Jack

14:44

definitely, I know you're gonna listen to this

14:47

podcast today. Please

14:49

calm. I mean, you you are

14:51

like the a a heartbeat in the pack

14:53

now. And we just all wanna party

14:55

have so much fun together. And

14:57

it's gonna be really nice. I'm

14:59

excited. I was over there. You were asking what was I doing.

15:01

I built my own walls because they

15:03

tried to rent walls of fucking

15:05

ridiculous amount of money. So I built my own

15:07

motherfucking walls. So I

15:09

built my own walls and I

15:11

built my own bars

15:13

and I went from there. So

15:15

I'm going back over there gotta do

15:17

a somebody brought a cast tonight. So

15:19

I'm gonna go back over there for a few hours

15:21

and I'm gonna put the wood, go on the motherfucker.

15:24

I'm gonna get up tomorrow and I'm gonna go over

15:26

there and send this down. I love

15:27

you. You are not

15:30

only thoughtful, but

15:32

like this is an unnecessary amount

15:34

of work for a party. and you have

15:35

the money to pay for somebody to do all this stuff,

15:38

but you still do it. But

15:40

you genuinely love this, don't you?

15:42

You are in heaven right now.

15:45

Oh, yeah. I'm I'm enjoying my stuff.

15:47

Like, I get to make my own bars,

15:49

then you get to direct

15:51

Junebug around. I'm just

15:54

I wanna see I

15:54

just wanna it's not even about me. It's about

15:57

the it's about the people who's

15:59

traveling to be

15:59

with me. I will say this. I it's

16:02

a lot of y'all. I'm gonna try to take a

16:04

picture as many as possible,

16:06

but you're gonna have to allow me some of my

16:08

private time. For one, my husband is

16:10

gonna be there. My

16:11

whole family is gonna be there, but we all

16:14

family together. So

16:15

don't make it about me. It's about

16:17

you. Enjoy yourself. and I will say,

16:19

please bring cash to two.

16:21

There's an

16:21

open bar.

16:23

I probably if you if there's

16:25

an alcoholic there, I I

16:27

probably got it for you. And Nike

16:29

is not gonna take pictures for free.

16:31

Okay. Bring

16:35

cash. to add a

16:37

long single piece of this that is, it's an

16:40

open beer bar and it's not regular

16:42

beer. It's draft beer. It is they say

16:44

it's really beer. So

16:46

you get to

16:46

drink all the beer you want. We have some

16:49

drinks. I'll tell

16:50

you one other drink, specialty drinks,

16:52

one I'm call one of them is called, fuck you,

16:54

DR. I

16:55

want

16:58

ten percent of every tip on that.

17:01

Tell me

17:06

there's a sprinkler. You gotta have a sprinkler

17:09

then. If there's

17:15

not AAA Nikea

17:17

martini with a gas station hotdog

17:19

straw, then you're not even not.

17:21

You you you know,

17:23

everything

17:23

is catered to the things that we

17:26

talk about.

17:27

the Would it

17:29

make

17:29

sense? It's gonna be it's gonna be

17:32

Tropicana. Would it make sense to have,

17:34

like, some sort of greeting line

17:36

where people can take pictures with three of us.

17:38

Where you the three of us stay in there and people can

17:40

kind of like I'd say, okay. Let me

17:42

I'll tell you I'll give you a little bit of what I've done.

17:44

So it's

17:44

so because it's so many of

17:47

us. I

17:47

don't want people to be sending in line -- Yeah. --

17:49

our our extra bartender, security's

17:52

there for

17:52

the

17:53

pictures. You got four places

17:55

to take pictures. four.

17:57

You have

17:58

three of

17:59

about

17:59

those spin

18:01

around things. Yeah. One you can walk into

18:03

one spin, one spin, one spin, one spin, and then

18:06

you have the whole throwback to the nineties. I ain't gonna tell

18:08

you what I did, but it's a k. It's a

18:10

way pitch. People took pictures back in

18:12

the nineties. Nice.

18:14

So you have

18:14

four locations that you can take pictures

18:17

at. because in my

18:19

head, I

18:19

think the three of us are gonna be together

18:22

because people are gonna want a picture with the three

18:24

of us. Yeah. You

18:26

know? And I

18:29

don't know. I

18:30

mean, Dion, of course, will be on the line.

18:32

Yeah. Get your get your pictures early because I

18:35

plan on being wasted by chance. I

18:37

I don't you got an hour

18:39

after if you're drunk, I don't wanna deal with

18:41

you. I

18:44

mean, Dion. I'm

18:46

gonna be I'm gonna be upside down. Maybe upside

18:49

down. I

18:51

can't wait. I I

18:51

can't wait to hear. I hear the music that was

18:54

on play. you have a special

18:56

request, send it in

18:57

the group and just

18:59

tell me, you know because III I've

19:01

tried to cover music from every

19:03

mean, from all the nineties in a little

19:06

bit late eighties era.

19:08

But if you got a song

19:10

and

19:10

and you have a

19:11

different race than would not familiar with it, tell us, we're gonna play

19:13

that motherfucker. We wanna see you do

19:15

the funky chicken to your song too.

19:18

Well,

19:18

then you have to have Garth

19:20

Brooks friends in low down places

19:22

because that that is the white people jam

19:24

in the nineties. You know, I

19:26

was just we were setting up going through the

19:28

night with the DJ And I was like, I

19:30

know one thing. Govvana was one

19:32

of the biggest country artists. Or

19:34

I mean,

19:35

biggest country artists ever.

19:37

in the nineties. I said, we gotta have some fucking

19:39

golf boards. Yeah. That in

19:41

Sweet Caroline, those are the two songs. I was

19:43

gonna say. Sweet Caroline is

19:46

I don't know some Caroline.

19:48

Sweet Caroline. Bob. Bob.

19:51

Bob. Every white person and

19:53

just did it along with me. That's that is the

19:55

white oop. There it is. A

19:58

Swiss. You gotta have

19:59

the cupid shuffle cupid

20:02

shuffle is a white person song.

20:04

Let me write this shit down.

20:06

I will start I'll start a thread in

20:08

the Facebook group. There's also a miss

20:11

crack baby party discussions group that

20:13

Dion and Quisha did not make it into.

20:17

I mean, we got it individually.

20:19

They got it to reject it hilarious.

20:22

Who who what was he talking about?

20:24

They they so this is a group just

20:26

for people going to the party that wanna compare

20:28

what are we wearing or how are you getting

20:30

there, what you know, that kind of thing. And

20:32

so they're all it's just a way

20:34

to coordinate And Quisha and Dion tried

20:36

to join the group, and they said they sent

20:38

us invites, but there was nothing

20:40

you had to answer some

20:42

questions. And when you got the invite, it

20:44

didn't tell you what those questions were, so it automatically

20:46

rejected after a certain amount of

20:48

time because we couldn't fill out the

20:50

questions. So then they reinvented us. We're

20:54

in there now. And it's like there's people who

20:56

are getting there early, so they're trying to meet up

20:58

and coordinate some people aren't taking a

21:00

shuttle, and they were, like, getting their rides together,

21:02

stuff like that. Are

21:04

you looking There's one woman coming from

21:06

from from London. I just seen on Twitter. She

21:08

posted she said she hasn't left the

21:10

country in two and a half years. This is the

21:12

first time she Well, enjoy American

21:15

COVID because we get this view. And

21:17

if

21:17

you want to ride over, I rent

21:19

it three sprouts. we never

21:21

be picking you up at the main hotel that

21:23

I booked. You don't have

21:24

to stay at the hotel. You just wanna ride

21:27

over. They're

21:27

gonna pick you up. along with

21:29

the people who stand at the hotel, and they're gonna take you

21:31

to

21:31

the venue because it's not that far. And they're

21:34

also gonna take you back. So if you

21:36

drunk and you don't feel safe, you

21:38

know, as long as your waiver is signed, I'll

21:40

make sure the drivers they they're

21:42

they're spreaders and dialects. They're gonna get you to

21:44

them from the party.

21:47

The the the release made me

21:50

laugh because someone sent it to me. One of

21:52

my friends was like, what the fuck is this? And it

21:54

was specifically the part about

21:56

recording. And in the recording part, I'm like,

21:58

okay, this is standard. We reserve

22:01

the right to use your image,

22:03

blah blah blah. We

22:04

reserve the right to talk about you, to

22:07

make fun of you, and joke

22:09

about you on the podcast, and call you a

22:11

drunk bitch with that, and you cannot

22:13

sue us. No. It doesn't

22:15

say that exactly, but that's exactly what it

22:17

meant. They're asking me, like, what does this mean? I

22:19

go, she doesn't wanna get suit, if my

22:21

dumbass comes on and says, Dion, did you see

22:23

that that, you know, fat dude who's dance

22:25

on the dance floor? And then he gets all mad

22:28

at us. and then sues miss Pat

22:30

because we're being jackasses. And

22:32

I'm telling you that I have security. You

22:34

cannot get

22:34

in there if you're not on the list.

22:37

cannot

22:37

and will not. If your waiver

22:39

is not signed before

22:42

Friday, you're gonna be pushed to

22:44

the side. The people who got their shit together is gonna go

22:46

straight through. When you don't have your

22:48

shit together, your waiver is not

22:50

signed or your plus one show

22:51

up and you didn't tell me gonna

22:54

hold you up at the door. So

22:56

I urge you to clean,

22:58

to

22:58

They said it a while. They

23:00

said it email that you can sign the waiver

23:02

at the door. But you prefer today It's

23:04

a package. Everything is packaged. If

23:06

you're

23:06

if you already sign your waiver, you

23:08

can get your package. You get your package for your free search, you

23:10

get your pack for other things that I'm

23:12

giving, you get a package and you walk

23:14

home to the dough. If

23:16

not, I gotta sit here and they gotta sit there and let you sign

23:18

the waiver. And then, Danielle's Plus

23:21

one, it's just a it's a whole bunch of fucking

23:23

ridiculous shit. So I'm

23:25

asking you for the bottom of my heart to

23:27

please have your plus

23:29

one. Have your

23:32

plus one and have your wafer son.

23:33

wanna fuck with miss Jenny. She's

23:36

scary.

23:36

And and

23:37

starting tomorrow,

23:39

I'm gonna see

23:42

about the transportation

23:44

thing. It, you know, it'll have a mispack

23:46

fly in and wonder,

23:48

you ain't gonna get in a wrong

23:50

car.

23:50

You get

23:52

to drive a number so

23:54

you make

23:54

sure you get in the right fucking

23:56

car and the

23:57

cars will be parked outside when you

24:00

need. So I have people

24:02

for all of that. What if McDuffin

24:04

makes, you know, his

24:06

own mark offs and then he steals a whole busload

24:09

of women? I'm just

24:12

saying, have you thought about he as good at

24:14

pictures? Well,

24:16

he's he's gonna be banned.

24:18

But he's still a

24:21

whole fucking muscle winning. I

24:24

mean,

24:24

when he did the Damer

24:27

meme of me and it was

24:29

armor, that

24:31

shit. That shit was so good. That looked

24:33

like a real documentary. It's

24:36

on the pat down Instagram.

24:39

I've seen it. I think

24:41

so

24:41

funny. I just wanna I

24:43

just put a poll up in the Facebook group

24:45

for ninety songs so people can go and

24:47

add their suggestions. Yeah.

24:50

And then you

24:50

need to put up a phone also.

24:55

whoa

24:58

Do we

24:58

need to take a break? Yeah. Let's take a quick

25:01

break. We all been in a situation at

25:03

some point in our lives when we need a when

25:05

we're a little tight

25:06

on that case. Maybe you only

25:08

can afford to put up a few gallons of gas

25:10

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25:12

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25:14

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26:06

So, you

26:06

know, I cannot work that fine. I I just I

26:09

can't wait to meet

26:09

everybody. Somebody come

26:10

from London. I know some people

26:12

coming from Canada.

26:14

little

26:14

bit of everywhere.

26:16

Crazy. It's

26:17

gonna be so much fun. I

26:20

need to bring another pair of shoes

26:22

because shoes

26:23

I got for the party hurt my feet so fucking

26:26

bad. I was like, I probably wouldn't

26:28

be aware for an hour too. Oh,

26:31

no. You had to buy pants or

26:33

so. I have the jacket, but I don't

26:35

have the

26:35

rest of my you know, you should really

26:37

come in, God, bro. Oh, I'm sorry.

26:39

You got that six. How

26:41

dare you?

26:44

You know the boy you're

26:46

right. You know what I look like in

26:49

a ten gallon hat, little over twenty five gallon

26:52

hat with a checkered shirt.

26:56

They look like a picnic table. Mhmm. It's

26:58

like winona rider or whatever rivo back

27:00

entire whatever name is.

27:05

Well, you look like a healthy chicken.

27:08

You do you

27:10

have your outfit all picked out back? I

27:12

do.

27:12

I'm just hoping that it I've been eating so

27:14

much and stressing so much. I'm just hoping

27:16

the shit fake by the time I put

27:19

it on. So I'm about

27:20

to try it on now and I gotta go and

27:22

get some more alteration done to it.

27:25

Are you stressed about the party?

27:27

And I'm

27:27

so fucking busy. I'm

27:30

so

27:30

fucking busy. So, you

27:32

know.

27:32

How was a Denver? You

27:35

sound good? Yeah. You didn't get sick.

27:38

I

27:38

got so stuffy. My eyes was running,

27:40

my nose was running, my hands was

27:42

running. that fucking my high shit.

27:44

Fuck me. Oh. I told him, I said,

27:46

I said, I wanna ask y'all something. I

27:48

said, how do I fucking fuck people living

27:50

up here?

27:51

I can't I said, I know y'all niggas they run

27:53

upon the police. That's impossible. I

27:57

said,

27:58

I know y'all

27:59

niggas have real run if no police.

28:02

Not running in the

28:02

clouds. I felt like I was in the

28:05

clouds. I

28:05

was telling my daughter.

28:08

Yo. Yo. I've

28:15

never been that winded in my

28:17

life. I mean, the point where I was separated

28:19

my tears at night. Just was just

28:21

so my heart

28:22

didn't be. Just

28:24

so your lungs had a chance.

28:26

Yes. It was

28:28

fucking horrible. I was like, that's why

28:30

I come here every eighteen months. Oh,

28:32

I can't reach. My eyes was running,

28:34

my nose was running jazz. We got sick.

28:37

Oh, we felt like shit. We

28:39

literally felt like shit.

28:40

Maybe

28:41

that's why the cult sucked so much dick in

28:44

Denver when they played them last

28:46

week. Man, that

28:47

shit was here. Matt fucking Ryan

28:49

is the worst quarterback. Oh,

28:51

god. Damn it. What a piece of shit.

28:53

I'm sick of that nigga. this

28:55

concrete shoot motherfucker. No. No.

28:58

We as fuck a fan being

29:00

loving. We go to we go to the

29:02

Indianapolis website. This day, we're talking

29:04

yesterday. And I never like

29:05

pissing white red naked socks.

29:08

So,

29:08

you know, give a fuck what they

29:10

say. I

29:11

said, thank you.

29:13

That's what I love about India. I

29:15

always looking out for me. You

29:16

know, y'all helped build

29:17

my career. And as much as I hate men,

29:20

Ryan, y'all

29:20

was you know, the city, the state was

29:22

willing to take them off our hand. I can't

29:25

thank you. The

29:27

the Matt Ryan trade for miss Pat

29:29

is fucking bullshit. And

29:31

I want I I have so,

29:34

man. I don't even like the cults. I don't even like football,

29:36

but fuck Matt Ryan. Man,

29:38

fuck Matt

29:39

Ryan. Man, I hate I've

29:41

been telling him for a long time. He'd been ice

29:44

cold. He is a mommy.

29:46

That

29:46

motherfucking run, like, he throw the ball

29:48

to the wrong nigga. This

29:50

nigga's confused. My

29:52

interception, he threw they were like, he don't ever

29:54

have no protection. The one time they blocked for

29:56

this nigga, he threw it to the wrong nigga.

30:00

that I was that

30:01

offensive line is the highest

30:03

paid offensive line and they suck ass.

30:06

But let's be honest, he

30:08

I think they all like that motherfucker. I think that's what you

30:11

call it. The only way you could explain it. A

30:13

big footed motherfucker. I think you called a

30:15

miss Pat on a text message. heavy

30:18

foot motherfuck. I can't stand that.

30:20

That

30:20

mother gonna get his feet up on the ground

30:22

for shit. That didn't even walk like he somebody

30:24

don't bear

30:24

him in concrete. I can't

30:26

stand that right. You square head

30:29

motherfuck. I'm so glad you go

30:31

and stop taking all money.

30:33

I'm

30:33

so Thank you, Indianapolis.

30:35

Well, Jim O'She's pissed and he's ready

30:37

to fire everybody. He need

30:39

to fire, but This fucking

30:41

team sucks. Well, I'm a

30:43

tell

30:43

you right now Jim Earning off

30:46

cocaine, so he gave me a c shit

30:47

better. He can see clearly what's

30:50

what the problem is. And it's Well, I think they

30:52

got the job right back to cocaine.

30:54

They play one more

30:57

game like that. He goes, We go

30:59

see it on the news. Matt

31:00

you're gonna make Matt Ryan hit well, hit

31:02

his line and go out

31:03

there. Let them

31:06

feet get lighter. It's like both teams

31:08

in that game had had

31:11

agreed to the mob to throw the game and

31:13

to play as bad as possible. Oh,

31:15

you talking about the Soul of the Game. Look

31:17

what was done to my faculty on

31:20

Sunday. That pussy ass tackle,

31:23

Jared Grefs, Fucking Brady.

31:24

And they say he was roughing him up.

31:26

I'm like, don't y'all go to work and

31:29

flipball flex to get CTT?

31:31

They never tell you. Golo's

31:35

captioned in your head. He's

31:38

eighteen. Like

31:40

his head is think that's the

31:43

whole purpose of

31:43

going to fucking play football. They

31:46

we supposed to want that game. They

31:48

oh, that black well, he's from here.

31:50

He went to mohawk. Niggas, you grew

31:52

up on the faculty, and you're

31:54

gonna fucking cheek of faculty for

31:57

motherfucking What's the nigga?

31:59

Brady?

31:59

Yes. You know what? I'm so

32:02

happy. I'm so happy. This is

32:04

why. Have a very baby.

32:06

Did you see the meme? Let

32:08

me see if I can find it.

32:10

She just say, yo,

32:12

this baby's wife. I have a black

32:14

baby.

32:14

and

32:17

Antonio Brown might make it happen.

32:19

Did you see his dick?

32:21

Damn, he

32:23

saw a dick. everybody saw his

32:26

dick. It's he was he had how do you

32:28

say he was Why do you say it like that

32:30

though? He was hard in a

32:32

pool showing everybody. Let

32:34

me

32:34

see. Let me let me find the Tom

32:36

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33:43

I am I

33:44

already was in the pool. Yeah. I think

33:46

I can

33:46

find I think I can find you there. No,

33:48

sir. Did you call the

33:50

park? k. We don't need to be cut

33:52

off. Most people

33:54

let

33:56

me

33:57

see. It

33:59

was

33:59

on Twitter. You know,

34:00

they put everything together. Kind of my mom and

34:03

Tom email. We covered it extensively.

34:05

About the

34:06

text and tea. Pat?

34:09

So he's in

34:11

a pool. Right? Dion, I vaguely

34:13

remember the story. Yes. He's

34:15

like kind of you

34:17

know, asking somebody to come over. And

34:20

he was fucking with one

34:20

of the ladies that was in the pool. He

34:23

was, like, mooning

34:23

her, dunking her under

34:26

the water. And

34:26

then when he finally let her go,

34:28

he pulled his dick out for some reason. I

34:32

don't know why he was negative. And everybody

34:34

else was

34:36

But I think it was over in Dubai.

34:38

And

34:38

it it was

34:42

big. But he definitely

34:44

he definitely I think he has CTE for real. He's

34:46

nutty. Ever since he got

34:48

knocked out by that dude from

34:50

the bangles, he has

34:52

lost his fucking mind.

34:54

Here we go. I got the story.

34:58

hum I sent

35:00

you to a tweet. The tweet Here's here's

35:03

the picture. Look at him. I don't

35:05

wanna see that picture. Look, well,

35:07

look how big the

35:10

pixelation is.

35:12

That's 12345678

35:16

squares long.

35:19

I'm a four at least a

35:21

four pixelation man myself.

35:25

It's good Lord. Oh, I

35:27

got a better picture of me and I had a

35:30

Jesus Christ.

35:34

The

35:34

notorious unsigned NFL Bad Boy could be flagged for illegal

35:36

use of hands and but

35:38

writes The New York Post.

35:41

Antonio Brown was caught on video shoving his bare

35:43

butt in the face of a stunned woman in

35:45

an outdoor swimming pool at a Dubai

35:47

hotel. Where does he have money, by the way?

35:49

and then lifting his manhood out of the water,

35:51

like it's the fucking Loch Ness monster and

35:53

whipping it in

35:56

her direction. There's He

35:58

got paid, Chris. He's rich as fuck.

36:00

Okay. Alright. Don't miss

36:02

his true dad. He's he got shit to me.

36:04

Look at his look at

36:06

his picture. What

36:08

what what I

36:09

did at her? I don't

36:11

know. But in the article, it says

36:13

she was mad and Now

36:15

she's not. That was

36:17

before he started doing all the

36:19

crazies. Oh, Jesus. Yeah. I

36:21

think that's what initially

36:23

pissed her off. And then the dick is

36:25

is that looks between his dick boot hole. That's

36:27

what dick. I

36:30

mean, a dick

36:30

when all the web is ass.

36:32

Oh,

36:35

man. And he's like, what's

36:37

he's fooling with her?

36:40

He

36:40

was waterborne. Oh, he

36:42

was? Mhmm. He picked her

36:44

up and dumped her a couple of taps.

36:47

Yeah. He cries.

36:49

the are you grow He's definitely

36:51

fucking crazy.

36:51

And it's crazy because he

36:54

have no mind. He got a

36:55

lot of money and a whole lot

36:57

of it. He's dangerous.

36:59

He ain't

37:01

got no job

37:04

neither. So, you know, he's giving out that

37:06

good day. ecomodity.

37:10

There's no certificate there.

37:14

Hi,

37:15

Chad. I'm gonna get the fuck out

37:17

of here because I gotta go and run

37:18

some errands and do another fucking podcast.

37:22

But don't

37:22

forget y'all clean.

37:25

Sitting

37:25

your waiver, brain tilt money, because I'll

37:28

actually do a simple motion. Just brain

37:30

tilt money. Make sure you steal

37:32

your waiver make sure

37:34

you what does it say?

37:36

Anything else?

37:37

Have your plus one. Have your plus one. Don't

37:40

hold on. Thank you. Yes. And

37:41

so and make sure your your line

37:44

to make sure the line you get in. And there's

37:46

only sitting for a hundred and eighty

37:48

some people, but it's a lot of

37:51

lounging.

37:51

So with that

37:54

said, make sure you do

37:56

everything the right so you can get in there get

37:58

you in there. It's first home,

37:59

first CDT. So

38:02

make sure

38:02

you get in there and get your seat so

38:04

you can have a good time. Plenty of food,

38:06

plenty of drinks. We're gonna have

38:08

a good fucking time. Like

38:10

They're

38:10

even a treat table. You know? And I

38:13

got some I got some

38:14

special things that I need for the party that

38:16

I'm not

38:17

gonna say but I'm fucking excited.

38:20

Me too. I can't wait to see the

38:21

family here. Yep. Yes. Yes.

38:24

Yes. Yes.

38:26

And

38:26

and

38:28

It'd

38:28

be nice if you could just

38:30

podcast right from there. I can bring the stuff. Yeah.

38:33

Would it be

38:34

too fucking loud?

38:38

Fuck them. We'll turn it down. It's your

38:40

party. You're in charge.

38:42

People would love to see, like,

38:44

at least a fifteen minute podcast or

38:46

or something I'm sure. Well, you know what, we don't we

38:48

don't we don't have a microphone. We can now

38:50

talk on a mic and and, you know, for

38:52

the people who can't see,

38:53

we're dropping we're dropping anything.

38:56

you

38:57

know, feel free to go live. Please feel free to go live and show me about what

38:59

you're doing and how much fun you have having.

39:01

And I can't think

39:04

y'all enough.

39:04

And I'm gonna be in

39:06

Tampa October the twenty first and twenty second. Tampa

39:08

size letter. So

39:09

make sure you get your tickets for that.

39:11

Go to miss tat seventy dot

39:14

com. check out all my tour dates.

39:16

I'm comedy short. I'm coming new years. New years

39:18

I will be in Houston.

39:21

So come out and get your laugh on with me

39:24

in

39:24

Houston on New

39:26

Year's, please, and thanks, and

39:29

I appreciate you.

39:30

Is it

39:33

the top? Welcome to

39:34

another episode of the pack,

39:35

Dan, and

39:38

we here only a few

39:40

days away from one of the biggest part of the century. Well, I don't know about our

39:42

issue.

39:43

but

39:46

it has definitely done a hole in my pocket. All for the people who

39:48

make things fucking for me, my damn

39:50

face, and the people who support

39:54

the crackdown, along with

39:56

Dion and Chris. That's who I have

39:58

Egypt every time we do a fucking

39:59

podcast unless one

40:00

of us gets arrested or we get,

40:02

you know, or we get kicked now. Well,

40:04

Dion's the older one that

40:07

can get kidnapped. Yeah. I'm too

40:09

fat. I can't get arrested. These

40:11

wrist don't hold cuts. It's

40:14

me fucked up. You gotta

40:16

risk it, but I didn't borrow your arm. Yeah.

40:21

With that said, listen, they stay tuned up at the

40:24

music. We talk about.

40:26

We're

40:27

not talk

40:29

about that. I promise, dude. She she was

40:31

in Denver. She didn't Yeah.

40:34

It fucked her up. It's okay.

40:36

It was still fucked up.

40:39

and your lungs are like

40:41

Matt Ryan. I'm so caught

40:43

in bed. That's making up for

40:45

the fucking music. I job. To

40:47

thank y'all so much for tuning in to another episode of the pat down, make sure you

40:49

check out my website at miss tech comedy

40:52

dot com for all of my social

40:54

media, my

40:56

tour dates my book. Make sure you spread the word about

40:58

my podcast. Please rate and

41:01

review. Please rate

41:04

and review and share. Thank you so much. I'll have you miss

41:06

Pat.