0:04

Welcome to the Period Recovery Podcast.

0:07

I'm your host, cynthia Donovan, registered dietitian and period recovery expert, who has been where you currently are.

0:13

This is the podcast to listen to if you want your period back, month after month, or if you want to restore your fertility and feel more relaxed around food and exercise.

0:23

Consider this your safe space that will take the guests and the stress out of period recovery and bring you the information, the inspiration, tools, stories and empowerment that are key in getting your period back month after month.

0:36

Get ready to be inspired, get ready to get your period back and get ready to get your life back.

0:41

Come on, let's dive in. Hi all, welcome back to another episode of the Period Recovery Podcast.

0:50

Today I have my colleague, katie, and fellow registered dietitian on the show, and today Katie and I are going to go deep into body image stuff.

1:09

So if you are struggling with body image, you're going to want to listen to this episode, probably on repeat, because I know I have.

1:13

So Katie, as a fellow registered dietitian nutritionist, she is also a certified intuitive eating counselor, eating disorder recovery coach, body image expert, personal trainer, registered yoga teacher and breathworks facilitator.

1:25

That is an amazing, impressive resume.

1:30

So Katie combines nutrition counseling with movement in a powerful toolkit of somatic healing modalities to help women heal from binge eating, yo-yo dieting, food anxiety, eating disorders, disordered eating, body dysmorphia, gi issues and more.

1:46

So, without further ado, let's get chatting with Katie.

1:49

Welcome to the Period Recovery Podcast.

1:53

Thank you so much for having me. I am so excited to have you, and I actually was looking forward to this all day, because I've sort of been having an off day and so before I started we got on this recording today.

2:09

I thought I would just love for you to start this podcast how you start your podcast, so would you be willing to do that?

2:20

I would love to do that and I think it will be great for me personally too.

2:25

So let's take a nice deep breath to start the show together.

2:29

So, when it feels good, wherever you're tuning in from and, cynthia, where you're sitting right now, just get a little bit more comfortable in your seat and drop into your body by rolling out your shoulders shoulders and then maybe close your eyes, if that feels good for you, and we'll take two, two deep breaths.

2:52

So start by taking a nice inhale through your nose and feel your back expand as your lungs fill up, and then, through your mouth, take a nice long exhale for four, three, two, one.

3:04

And just in case you didn't do that one fully, we'll do it one more time.

3:08

Take a nice deep breath in through your nose, feel your back expand as your lungs fill up and then take a nice long exhale out your mouth for four, three, two, one.

3:26

Nice, what a difference that makes.

3:31

Just two breaths, two deep breaths, total shift for me and hopefully you guys that are listening.

3:38

It felt a nice shift for you as well.

3:40

So today I am so excited to record because this is such a topic that comes up over and over and over again and that's body image.

3:52

So, and that is Katie's specialty area.

3:56

So, katie, I guess you know what, before I delve into some of the questions that I have from some of the audience, what do you feel if you had to pick maybe your top one, top two, top three things your clients struggle with?

4:13

as far as body image goes, would you want to start there?

4:17

Sure, sure. I think you know I am a dietitian nutritionist as well, and I build body image coaching and body image healing and body image recovery into my work because I feel like it's such a block for so many people when they are trying to recover on a nutritional level and heal their relationship with food and eat more balanced and adequate meals.

4:43

Body image always becomes, or very often becomes, a hurdle in that process.

4:48

It's like, well, I would eat more carbs, but then I feel like I'm losing control over my body.

4:54

I would change what I'm eating, but then I feel like I'm losing control over my body.

4:59

I would change what I'm saying and implement these nutrition recommendations that you're giving me.

5:04

Or I'd change what I'm saying and implement these nutrition recommendations that you're giving me, or I'd change what I'm eating and implement these nutrition recommendations you're giving me, but then I get self-conscious about my body shape and size, and so I find it's just a really big hurdle in making nutritional changes very often.

5:19

So I think that that's like the number one, most basic way that it comes up in the work that I do with clients.

5:24

That that's like the number one, most basic way that it comes up in the work that I do with clients.

5:30

I think the primary challenge that people struggle with is making peace with the fact that they cannot completely control their body shape and size.

5:34

It is a fact that we live in fluctuating human bodies that are prone to unpredictable changes.

5:40

Yet we live in a society that tells us we should be able to control and manipulate our body shape and size, and that we can indeed control and manipulate our body shape and size if we just work hard enough, if we just get a waist trainer, if we just do A, b, c, d, e, f, g.

5:57

And also a lot of people face hurdles in body image when it comes to their relationships with other people and how they're going to be perceived by other people, particularly in dating and romantic relationships and also in friendships and other interactions.

6:14

And so I'd say those are three things it's like body image and how it's a hurdle to making nutritional changes.

6:20

Body image and how healing it is about making peace with the fact that we don't have control.

6:25

And then body image and how it impacts our relationships with other people.

6:31

Yeah, I have to say you said those nicely and if I had to choose the same and define them in the way that you did, I would say same, because for the women that are listening to this podcast, they're trying to get their periods back, so they have to make nutrition changes right and they also have to make exercise changes, which I don't know if I can pick.

6:57

Sometimes women have harder time with nutrition, sometimes with exercise.

7:01

It really varies. And then two, the control right.

7:05

And I mean I just think of I just want to bring myself into the picture, and probably yourself too, as a dietician Like that's what we were taught in school that you could control your body right.

7:15

I mean, at least I remember it that way.

7:17

It's like, well, calories in versus calories out, you know, and this is what your calculation for your calorie expenditure is, and if you want to lose weight you need to decrease that by X amount or whatever.

7:30

And then the perception of others. I know that was a big one for me, especially as a dietitian, and I know there's so many probably of our clients out there that are in whatever field, healthcare field particularly I'm just going to talk or sometimes they're in a field of image right'm just going to talk, or sometimes they're in a field of image, right, they could be models, they could be personal trainers and so forth.

7:52

So let's, I guess, pick apart those top three things, maybe starting with the hurdle to nutrition changes and I just want to share a couple examples of what I see with the women I work with is, you know, I am scared to eat more because I'm going to gain weight, right, and with HA we know we do need to eat more.

8:19

So what advice would you give or where would you start with someone that is facing these nutrition hurdles?

8:28

I mean, we could probably do a whole podcast on each of these topics.

8:33

I know, I know, I guess to kind of just like crack the nut open and get down to like the most basic and important things.

8:41

I feel like the most important thing is to start where you are, which is acknowledging that fear of weight gain is preventing you from making important nutritional changes.

8:53

I find that a lot of people spend a lot of time dancing around that fact, and it makes sense, right?

8:58

Because if we were to put this fear into the open, if we were to say you know what actually the reason I'm afraid to eat potatoes is because I'm afraid of what potatoes are going to do to my body, shape and size, then we'd actually have to start working on that, and that might sound oversimplified.

9:15

I also think it's important not to brush over, though, the fact that it actually is really hard just to put that fear out there, just to let yourself be vulnerable enough to be seen in.

9:24

That fear is a really big and important deal, and the first step to finding a little bit more safety amidst that fear letting yourself be held by a counselor who knows and understands that you're dealing with the fear of weight gain is the first and most important step, and so if you could put that fear out there and let someone hold you in that fear, then you start to find tools to create a sense of safety amidst that fear, because that fear isn't going to just go away.

9:53

I could spit all the nutrition facts at you all day.

9:56

I could tell you why you need to gain weight all day and why it's important for your metabolic health and your cardiovascular health and your fertility and all the things that you work on with your women.

10:04

Right, but at the end of the day, like, if you don't feel safe, making the changes, it might not happen.

10:11

You know, the logic can only take us so far and intellect can only take us so far, and so we need to put the fear out there and figure out how we can create a sense of safety amidst the fear.

10:21

And I'm glad we started this podcast with a deep breath, because that actually is one of the tools I use with clients for creating a sense of somatic safety while you're trying to navigate fear of weight gain.

10:32

How can you create a sense of safety in your body while you're following this new meal plan, for example?

10:39

So that's just one thing that comes up for me.

10:41

I think I can pop off about this for a while, but what do you think about that?

10:44

That's just one thing that comes up for me.

10:45

I think I can pop off about this for a while. But what do you think about that?

10:50

Yeah, no, I love that, just creating a sense of safety because really, especially in our under fueled brains, we are looking at this fear or this potential of weight gain as like literally the world ending or being attacked by a lion or a tiger or something like that.

11:07

So you know the fear is real and how your brain is perceiving it.

11:12

You know it's a lot. And how do we create safety in that?

11:18

Because your rational part of your brain may think, huh, well, this is silly.

11:22

Like I know I'm scared of weight gain, but then like the irrational part, or you know the part that maybe it's your subconscious, whatever, maybe you can speak better to that, katie but like there's a part of your brain that is looking at this thing like as the worst thing imaginable that could happen.

11:37

And you know, I just think of how sometimes and not to get into the perception of others, but you know you might hear from others that, oh, you know you don't need to gain weight, or gaining weight is fine, like why would you be so afraid of it?

11:53

But that fear, is real.

11:56

Yeah, I really like that. You pointed that out.

11:58

We need more than the intellect to recover from that fear, which is why I think, as dietitians, it's important that we have an understanding of that, because we're dealing with clients who have fear of weight gain.

12:09

Logic and reasoning and intellect is only going to do so much, because that more primitive, primal part of your brain is really really afraid to gain weight, and that primitive and primal part of your brain needs nurturing, it needs soothing and it needs more somatic, like bodily kind of things, more than it needs like a bunch of pieces of logic thrown at you.

12:32

And it is important to go into the deeper psychology of your fear of weight gain and understand the origins of it, by working with a psychotherapist, et cetera.

12:43

And also it is important to understand that so much of it is about creating a sense of safety in your body too and getting your body out of that like fight or flight state that has you unable to implement logic.

12:58

I guess if you had to define the word like triggered, it really means that you can't implement logic, like logic doesn't work when you're triggered, and so it's like how can you take your body out of a triggered state in order to be able to implement some of what you know to be true rationally and the way we can kind of bring ourselves down from a trigger is often through very specific anxiety reducing techniques like somatic stuff like breathing and different things like that.

13:30

Does that make sense?

13:32

Yeah, absolutely. And you know, knowing you know is kind of summing up what Katie said in like a tiny nutshell that you know.

13:42

It may not exactly, I don't want to say it may not, it's not your fault, but it's sometimes you.

13:48

You don't have that control over that part of your brain to to be logical.

13:53

And I can tell you I see quite a shift, katie, from when women first start out in my program and then we start to nourish them a little bit, how much easier that ability for that person to access that logical thinking or the rational part of their brain.

14:11

Right, because nutrition does so much for us.

14:13

And, in addition, you know tools that you mentioned.

14:17

You know, just the simple act of breathing can go a long way.

14:21

So I know we just scratched the surface with that, but I do want to get to a little bit of everything.

14:29

And is there anything else before we go into the control component that you wanted to mention, or as a takeaway for that hurdle to nutrition changes.

14:39

And would you say sorry, I am asking you two questions now. We're going to table that question for a minute, but would you say you do the same'm asking you two questions now.

14:43

We're going to table that question for a minute, but would you say you do the same thing with exercise, their fear to stop exercising or their fear to modify exercising?

14:51

Would you give the same advice or use the same approach?

14:56

Yeah, that's a good question. Well, I mean, one thing I did want to say is like underlining what you said about how malnutrition is a hurdle to making nutrition changes, also because a malnourished brain is a brain that has a hard time accessing logic, and so it's like, yes, nutrition itself is also going to give you the capacity to access logic eventually, but while you're in those early stages of, like, having a malnourished brain, unfortunately, it is so important to work closely with a counselor that helps you to feel safe in making those changes.

15:27

And, yes, I think the same thing is true for exercise.

15:33

It's important to figure out specific alternative activities that you can do when you are not exercising.

15:42

There's so much that goes into getting yourself to rest more and reducing compulsive exercise, and I think that that's one of the most important ones, though, is having this like highly specific plan for what am I going to do to cultivate a sense of safety and feel anchored in my body in the moments when I would normally be engaging in compensatory or just like not needed exercise?

16:06

Yeah, yeah, I like that idea.

16:10

A little bit of my approach is similar.

16:13

I think I could do add in the word safety a little bit more.

16:16

I think just the word feeling safe or just telling yourself you're safe can also go a long way.

16:21

But always like all right, if you are a compulsive or a regular routine exerciser, what are we doing, you know, in replacement of, and not to say we got to check another thing off the box, but maybe it's a breathing exercise, maybe it's having coffee with a friend.

16:37

That brings you a sense of safety.

16:40

So yeah, I love that idea and approach, katie, and thank you for sharing there.

16:46

You know, a little slight difference with the exercise, because we're actually moving versus, like, consuming food.

16:52

So thank you for sharing that.

16:54

And then is there anything else you wanted to add on to that?

16:58

hurdle to changes who don't fully understand restricted eating or compulsive exercise or excessive exercise.

17:05

Don't understand that people are just trying to feel safe.

17:21

It's not like they're just trying to be skinny, it's like they're just trying to feel safe.

17:23

These coping tools develop as a way to help people feel safe in a very unpredictable world, so it is important to use the word safety as a lens for cultivating more compassion for people suffering with these issues and then just for yourself.

17:38

In general, it's like, yeah, I was just trying to feel safe, but this safety tool isn't working anymore.

17:43

It's destroying my health and maybe it did make me feel safe for a time and now it's sacrificing my literal, physical safety.

17:53

Yeah, and that's a great way to put it, because at one point and I tell my clients this at one point this whole like exercising all the time and maybe eating super quote unquote healthy, it served a purpose.

18:07

It served you in that particular point in your life, but right now your period's missing, your digestive system is off, your poor partner is scared because you've lost so much weight, so forth.

18:21

So we know now that's not serving us.

18:24

And where can we move into? Other tools, other practitioners, other things that can make us feel safe?

18:31

And you're so right, this world is so damn unpredictable.

18:36

And I can tell you, Kate, there was a time where I did all this stuff to feel safe.

18:40

And I think you were in a particular point too.

18:43

And it's like, if you think about it, like our bodies to a certain extent.

18:48

And this will lead us beautifully into the next component our bodies.

18:52

And we're, at least I don't want to say our bodies but what we put into our mouth, how we exercise, we can control that right.

18:59

We can 100% say, oh, I'm going to eat 1500 calories today.

19:03

Or, you know, I'm going to work out for 72 minutes and three seconds.

19:06

We can control that, but only to a certain amount of time or certain extent, will that be able to control our bodies?

19:14

And so here that leads us into the control components of these behaviors and how it relates to body image.

19:25

Is there any particular place you want me to start with that?

19:28

I would say let's go to maybe the feelings.

19:32

I mean the feelings of feelings of all right.

19:34

Well, I'll share an example. Well, if I eat a ton of food or a ton more, what again?

19:40

I just want to know what is a ton to you and what is a ton to your body are two different things.

19:45

I need a ton of food. I'm gonna gain all this weight and like I may never stop gaining and I just am going to hate myself.

19:55

Yeah, yeah, and I think like well, first of all, that comes up pretty much with 100% of my clients.

20:03

I've never worked with someone who actually hasn't expressed a fear of losing control ultimately, or feeling like they're just going to stay in a free fall for the rest of their lives when it comes to food and nutrition, if they let themselves go, if they let some of their restrictions go, if they let some of their rules go, if they let some of the controls kind of go around food.

20:26

And I find that the most important thing is not to be like that.

20:32

The most important thing is not to be like oh, but you won't, it'll be fine, because that feeling of the fear of being out of control is so valid and it's so real and it feels real for so many people.

20:46

That free fall when you first start re-nourishing your body and I am talking about someone, I guess, who is probably malnourished and is now re-nourishing their body, so this doesn't apply like across the board to everyone but when you do start to re-nourish your body after a period of restricted dieting, restricted eating, not giving yourself consistent access to enough energy, it does feel like a freaking free fall and it does feel like am I ever going to stop falling?

21:11

Is my body ever going to stop asking for food?

21:13

And I really want to validate how scary that can be.

21:18

I am so excited to introduce to you guys the Eat to Regain your Period group coaching program.

21:24

If you are struggling to regain your period and you're feeling lost despite countless attempts to get it back, I invite you to apply to the Eat to Regain your Period group coaching program.

21:35

If you're really tired of doing all the things getting no results, if you're dreaming of starting a family one day, or just simply restoring your health, if you're seeking a holistic, natural way to get your period back, without pills or supplements, or if you just need personal guidance on what might be missing to regain your period, with a team of registered dietitians, you are going to get a proven program that has helped hundreds of women across the world regain their cycles back, restore their fertility and feel inspired and confident in a new found health.

22:10

You guys, don't let your missing period be the biggest issue in your life anymore.

22:15

Join me and reclaim your health with the eat to regain your period group coaching program.

22:20

To learn more, visit wwwperiodnutritionistcom.

22:27

And I also want to validate how scary the idea is that my body will never stop gaining weight, because we live in a world that is incredibly never stop gaining weight.

22:33

Because we live in a world that is incredibly fat phobic and we live in a world that has a lot of weight stigma, and we live in a world that throws judgments at people's body shapes and sizes and throws privileges to people in thinner bodies, and it's so valid that people feel that fear.

22:52

It's so important to not try to put out that fear like a fire and be like oh, you shouldn't be afraid of this, that's fine.

22:59

Like no, no, no, like it's good, it's going to be fine, you won't lose control, you won't keep gaining weight forever.

23:03

Because, first of all, I don't actually know what's going to happen to all my clients' bodies, because we haven't found the right equation to perfectly predict exactly what's going to happen with someone's metabolism and exactly what's going to happen with someone's body, weight and shape, and anyone who tells you that they know exactly what's going to happen to your body, weight and shape is lying to you, and so it's important to not pretend that I know, and it's important to not pretend that it isn't really hard to let go of control.

23:32

Pretend that it isn't really hard to let go of control.

23:39

I think that what we can say is have all your feelings about this.

23:41

It's okay to feel grief when you let go of control.

23:43

It's okay to feel afraid when you let go of control.

23:48

It's okay to let yourself feel this.

23:51

Just make sure that you're creating safe spaces for yourself to work through these feelings so that you can then also access all of the joy and all of the pleasure and all of the amazing things that are going to come with you facing this fear and facing this free fall.

24:09

Because what's true is that when we do let go of this rigid control over our body, shape and size, we also get access to really deep sense of pleasure that we never had access to before, a really profound sense of joy that we never had access to before Food freedom that we never had access to before.

24:28

The relief from that gnawing voice in our head that's always telling us to exercise that we never had before and like just confidence and comfort in our body becomes possible Doesn't mean we won't have moments where we feel like we have sticky body image.

24:45

That happens all the time You're going to be in a relationship with your body for the rest of your life, like when you're in a relationship with another person for the rest of your life.

24:52

You have ups and downs and highs and lows and ruptures and repairs, and you move through it and the relationship deepens.

24:57

Yeah, I hope I said a lot, but I hope that that followed a nice through life.

25:01

I love that yes, I love what you just said last about a relationship with your body, because it really is, and for so long.

25:11

So many us, including myself at one point, lived separately from my body, like I wasn't in a relationship.

25:19

I was well. If it was, it was a very abusive relationship if it was a relationship, but I lived separately.

25:26

I was always trying to control it.

25:29

And you're right Once you can, you know, live with your body, um, as as a team sort of say, and I mean easier said than done.

25:40

Right, going for that free fall, letting the control go, um, is so damn hard but so damn worth it.

25:49

And I like to say, if you think about, many things in life like that are really awesome and worth it, are usually pretty hard, upfront, right, Um, or at some point they might get a little bit challenging, right.

26:02

So you know, having that access though, to the food freedom to be able to go on vacation and not worry that you're going to gain you know X amount of pounds and that you're going to have to diet when you come back, the sense of joy and just little things that you're able to appreciate now, that because you don't have that gnawing voice inside of your head, and so much more.

26:27

We could probably record a whole podcast on all the amazingness that could come out of such a scary hard thing.

26:37

And you know, again, all easier said than done.

26:40

But you know Katie's had many clients that have worked through this.

26:43

I've had many clients that have worked through this, and so it is possible for you too.

26:48

And just to touch one more upon that relationship thing.

26:52

You know that's. It couldn't be more truthful and you know I don't want to say I've never thought of it before.

27:00

You know, but thinking of you're not always going to have good and bad or good body image days.

27:06

You might have some bad, but just in any relationship we want to try to work toward having way more good days than having the bad days right.

27:16

But also when we have those quote unquote bad days, can we look at that as an opportunity to deepen our relationship with our bodies, right?

27:26

So I love, love, love how you explain that, katie.

27:31

Is there anything else you wanted to add on to that before we go into the big bolded perception of others which is going to be very high in the front of our heads as we approach the spring summer season here in the US anyway, yeah, yeah, thank you for sharing that.

27:52

I think one of my mentors and supervisors, brianna Campos.

27:56

She always says like a healing body image is about sitting in the suck, like sitting in the shit for a minute and letting yourself feel the hard feelings, and so I wanted to share just what you were saying about a bad body image day and using it as an opportunity to deepen your relationship with your body.

28:13

What does that look like? Well, it might look like being like wow, I'm having a bad body image day today and I'm just gonna like feel this for a second and like kind of sit in this discomfort for a second and see what I can learn from this discomfort and allow this discomfort to maybe eventually crystallize into wisdom and crystallize into more information about what I need to work on still, and also crystallize into compassion.

28:41

I think when we let ourselves feel all the hard feelings, we also ultimately cultivate the capacity to be more compassionate to ourselves and more compassionate to others, because the most compassionate people in the world are the people who are most familiar with their pain and who know their pain intimately and can sense that pain in others, and so if you let yourself feel this, there's so much that comes with that.

29:03

And I think the difference between having a bad body image day when you're not actively recovered versus having a bad body image day when you are recovered is that the bad body image day and those shit feelings that you have to sit in for a second aren't going to derail your entire day, like it's just going to be like a little bit an active practice of mindfulness, of noticing, and then you can kind of move on and it's not this thing that you're carrying on your back for the entire day, moving forward.

29:31

And yeah, that was just one more thing. And then ultimately, when you can sit in the suck for a sec, you do deepen your relationship with your body.

29:39

Just like if you were having a bad day with your partner, you could have an uncomfortable conversation and have a sticky chat and like sit in the suck of that for a second and be like, oh, this conversation we're having is a little uncomfortable, I wish we weren't having it.

29:54

And then ultimately, once you finish having that hard conversation, sitting in the suck of that for a second, you have a deeper relationship with your partner after that and you're not carrying that uncomfortable conversation on your back all day.

30:09

Yeah, that's an amazing way to put it and sitting in the suck and I think, for at least again using myself as an example for a long time and this is back in recovery days.

30:21

I just know it's okay to have quote, unquote bad days.

30:36

It got a little bit easier that this is normal, this is okay.

30:39

Every day shouldn't be like amazing.

30:42

And on those crappy days, you know if we're able to sit into it, you know what can it teach us, what can we learn from it, and you know how can, how can we grow from it.

30:53

So I appreciate you sharing those tidbits and I really can't wait to re-listen to this episode and share it with my audience, katie.

31:02

So thank you. So we got a little bit more time left.

31:05

I just want to quickly kind of maybe tie a couple of listener questions in into the perception of others, right?

31:12

So a couple of questions I got was oh my gosh, like I the summer's coming up, I'm going to be in a bathing suit, swimsuit in front of everyone, or it could be.

31:26

I guess it's kind of along the same lines. I haven't seen my family members in a long time.

31:32

I can't imagine what they're going to think of me.

31:36

So what can we share as far as working through that, or tips or advice, as we closed today?

31:46

Yeah, that's a good question and thank you to the person who asked that question, and it's a good transition from sitting in the suck, because the reality of a situation is that you will be judged.

31:58

People will perceive your body.

32:00

Your body will be perceived by other people and there are other people who, unfortunately, are living with the burden of their own internalized weight stigma and their own internalized fat phobia and their own internalized judgments about their own body that then impact the way they see other people's bodies.

32:19

And it sucks, it really does.

32:22

It's hard to be in a body. It's hard to be in a changing female body.

32:26

In this world, it's very important to not invalidate just how vulnerable it can be to subject yourself to other people's opinions because they're harsh and they're hard and they're out there.

32:39

There are people who will not judge you and there are people who are going to appreciate your beauty and appreciate your essence and your presence and not be thinking about your body in the way that you're.

32:50

I mean, no one's thinking about your body in the way that you're thinking about your body.

32:53

Just to be clear, like we always do, look at our bodies with a much larger microscope than anyone else ever will.

33:00

And also there will be people who will judge your body, and so it is so important to do your own internal work on your own sense of self-confidence to prepare yourself to feel more resilient in the face of judgment.

33:18

I like to use the term body image resilience because I think that there is a lot of things that happen in this world that we need to be resilient to judgments from mom, judgments from family members, judgments from like people you go on dates with, like whatever it is, that shit's gonna happen like it really is and I'm so sorry, um and I face it all the time too I am.

33:42

I'm a single 30 year old woman like I know what it's like to have my body be judged on a regular basis.

33:47

I'm also the daughter of an almond mom and I know what it's like to have my body judged on a regular basis, and it is possible to feel confident and resilient amidst these judgments, and I'll just share quickly that there are four things that I usually encourage people working on when it comes to building a sense of self-confidence and a sense of resilience.

34:11

The first thing is just nourishing yourself eating enough balanced meals on a daily basis to make sure, as we were saying earlier, your brain is fully nourished, and then your metabolism is good and your body is nourished and you're getting enough sleep and you're getting enough water and you're getting enough exercise and not too much exercise.

34:30

The second thing is to take risky actions that help you trust yourself.

34:35

If we don't ever take risks in life, we don't ever trust ourselves.

34:38

So we have to put ourselves kind of in situations that are aligned with our values, that allow us to cultivate a sense of courage and a sense of confidence.

34:47

The third thing is forgiving and or blessing your mess, like forgiving yourself for mistakes and feeling confident enough to walk in a room and be like, hey, I'm a flawed human and I'm in my natural state and I'm okay with that.

35:00

And then the fourth thing is having life-giving relationships.

35:05

So for as many people that you have in your life that may judge your body, it is important that you also create community with people who you know accept you for exactly who the fuck you are.

35:16

I don't know if I can swear on this podcast.

35:18

Oh, yeah, swear it up. Yes, I love that.

35:24

So, yeah, those are really, really, really, really helpful tips.

35:30

Instead of saying, like you know, the people who you know love you will always accept you, no matter what body size you are.

35:39

You know, right, and I mean it's not a bad thing to say just that, but like, how are we cultivating the inner stuff that we need to have and do regardless of what someone says?

35:54

And I think you used like what word? Like you used the term of like me just saying surface level oh, you know, weight gain isn't that bad.

36:02

Like you'll be fine, yeah, right, what term did you say that?

36:09

I was like you don't just like put it out like a fire.

36:11

Maybe is what I said.

36:12

Yeah, I guess.

36:13

But I also think something I say a lot is like don't just put a unicorn bandaid on it.

36:18

Like don't just be like it's fine, you're good.

36:20

Like just don't put like a sparkly bandaid on these things.

36:22

We could be like wait, actually this is an open wound that sucks and it needs like a lot of validation and a lot of time and a lot of nurturing, and not just like this sparkly bandaid of like it's fine, no one's going to judge you, cause that's not true.

36:35

People will judge you. And also, I think we need more than just like these affirmations and platitudes of like you are more than a body, because really like, your body is part of you and people who accept you fully need to accept your body fully as it is too.

36:53

And I think there's just more nuances in body image than a lot of people want to acknowledge.

36:59

Yeah, there's a lot attached to body image, so I appreciate those tips.

37:04

I think they're really helpful, and I love the last one of like if you have, like you know, three soul sucking relationships, like you better have, you know, three really amazing relationships and also not a relationship advice giver here, but you might want to look at those three soul sucking relationships and why they're in your life Also while doing the inner work that you need to do to heal what you're struggling with in regards to body image, because it's so much more than the outside of what's happening with your body.

37:37

So, katie, this has been so helpful.

37:42

We got a couple listener questions in, but in the essence of time, maybe we can sneak one more question in, and that's I bought new clothes once.

37:55

Now I have to buy them again.

37:57

How would you, I guess, encourage that person to buy those clothes and to not worry so much about?

38:06

That which is again easier said than done.

38:09

Yeah, it's another one of those things that's like we can't skirt around how much that sucks.

38:14

We can't skirt around how inconvenient it is to need to buy new shorts or to need to buy new jeans, to need to get new clothes in a new season, and how much you have to confront your body when you're in a dressing room, like, oh my God, a dressing room is the ultimate confronting of your body.

38:32

It's the ultimate confronting of this is what my body looks like, this is what my body feels like.

38:37

This is what my body looks like in fluorescent lighting while really bad music is playing, like it's just so uncomfortable.

38:45

It truly is the ultimate confronting of your body image anxiety.

38:49

And so for anyone who's struggling with that, like I see you in that and I feel you in that, and it's another one of those moments where you do need to choose life, like choose to be alive right.

39:04

A life most fully lived is a life where your basic needs are met, so that you're not in fight or flight mode and you can actually live fully and freely.

39:15

And clothing is a basic need.

39:18

It really is. One of my best friends is a personal stylist and she actually has been doing work specifically with people who have recovered from eating disorders and we were hanging out one day and she was like you know what?

39:31

I feel like our work is so compatible, because the two things that everyone has to do every day is eat and get dressed.

39:36

And I'm like, yeah, that's like really true, and I think our relationship with clothes can really emulate our relationship with food.

39:44

Our relationship with clothing can really emulate our relationship with, like healing our relationship with food too.

39:49

So I encourage you to think, like you know, whatever it was that allowed you to heal your relationship with food.

39:54

Maybe apply some of those same principles to your relationship with clothes and also remember that this is a basic need and you are so worthy of being clothed and find little ways to bring joy into the process.

40:09

Like, maybe you do bring a friend that you really trust to go shopping with you.

40:12

Maybe you do like a little thrifting and you trade in some of the clothes to a thrift store and get some new clothes at that same thrift store.

40:22

Maybe you go to a tailor and see if they can do something creative with one of your favorite pieces One of my colleagues who's a therapist.

40:36

Her body changed and she was really upset that this one shirt no longer fit her and she went to a tailor and they like cut the shirt into like a bunch of different pieces and like made it into something new that like fits her here and now body, which I thought was so awesome.

40:46

So don't underestimate the power of creativity and self-expression in fashion too.

40:51

Like there's stuff you can do there, while also remembering that, yeah, that grief is valid and I see you in it and I feel you in it, and let's bond over it, because it is important to acknowledge how hard it is and to know that there's joy in there too.

41:05

Yes, and that's one.

41:08

That bonding thing, Katie, of being in a community of other individuals that are going through the same thing really normalizes it and really makes you feel heard and valid and worthy.

41:24

Even if you're not in a community, you still are worthy of being clothed.

41:29

And I want to say I had a client. Actually, she posted a picture in our community and she actually took a pair of pants and she was undoing the stitching to make them fit her here and now body, which I thought was so cool.

41:44

So cool. So, yes, I don't know how to sew she does, but that could be a thing you might learn to do in your off time of this exercise that you're modifying or taking a break from right.

41:54

So many tips, katie, and so much gratitude for you coming on here and sharing you know about body image and how layered it is and how.

42:04

My favorite takeaway, I think, is you know and how. My favorite takeaway, I think, is you know, just think of it as a relationship.

42:10

You know, and if you really I mean you can't get out of this relationship with your body, like you can potentially get out of other relationships, but your body isn't going anywhere.

42:20

So how do we work on this? How do we work on that?

42:23

And number one starting. Let's get that brain nourished.

42:25

So, katie, if anybody wanted to find you, where is the best place?

42:33

to find you. Yeah, yeah, thanks so much for having me.

42:37

I try to keep up on Instagram.

42:39

My Instagram handle is at katiecrd.

42:43

Katie is spelled C-A-I-T-I-E.

42:46

For whatever reason. That is what my parents decided the spelling of my name was going to be.

42:50

No one ever gets it right, but that's what it is.

42:52

And I have a podcast, as Cynthia was saying.

42:56

It's called Whole, full and Alive.

42:58

I have an episode with Cynthia on there. I love podcasting so much.

43:02

I definitely keep up with that even more consistently than I do with Instagram because I just love, love podcasting.

43:08

And I have a website, fullsoulnutritioncom, which will be linked in my Instagram bio.

43:13

But at Full Soul Nutrition I offer nutrition counseling, body image coaching, self-confidence coaching and retreats, which is really exciting.

43:22

Guys. Thank you so much, Katie, for being here, and we will have to do another episode because we know that just scratched the surface.

43:30

Thank you, yeah, thank you. Thank you so much.

43:36

Hi guys, I hope you enjoyed this episode.

43:38

Please take a moment to think and reflect on how this could be helpful in your period recovery journey.

43:44

I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to the period recovery podcast.

43:48

We know there are a lot of pods out there and I'm so excited and grateful you are. I want to thank you from the bottom of my heart for listening to the Period Recovery Podcast.

43:52

We know there are a lot of pods out there and I'm so excited and grateful you are here listening with me.

43:56

If you need more support on your period recovery journey, schedule a time to chat with me on my website, periodnutritionistcom.

44:04

If you found this podcast helpful.

44:07

Please help me spread awareness on missing periods by subscribing, leaving a review and sharing this podcast with others.

44:14

Are you ready to get your period back and your life back?