0:00

I had to tell my middle daughter, I was like, hey, pigs are cute.

0:02

Right? And she's like, I loved them, you know, they, like, they,

0:04

like, you know, chunkled at my hand when I suck it to

0:06

the fans. I was like, hey, just so you know, like, if you fall

0:08

down, like, break your ankle and you're with pigs, they'll try to

0:10

eat you. They will try to eat

0:11

you. They will come see

0:12

So so did you say

0:14

that on a daddy's other day? Nope. I said that in

0:16

our living room too. Oh, you're told to grow don't

0:19

they? They have Right. Real world is tough. I'm

0:21

trying to keep these girls off the bachelor.

0:23

Okay? That's what I'm trying to do with you.

0:34

Hello. I'll log in episode number four eighty eight

0:36

of the podcast and when your talks McCoy. Come

0:38

your other host Jamie Goldman. The podcast

0:40

is a show dedicated to the LIFO ADC we're

0:42

committed to sharing, you want things entertained, but do

0:44

not matter. To find out more about these emptied

0:47

out and hollow pursuits, check us out

0:49

at noxongyny dot com, You also find this

0:51

on Instagram and Facebook at the Popcast, and

0:53

we're on Twitter at popcupspot. Thanks

0:55

for joining us this week as we are going to be evaluating

0:58

the bachelor contestants. But afford

1:00

you that. You guys, we have a brand new member

1:02

of the team at the Popcast media group, the

1:04

PMG, and it is our chief

1:06

details office her wallet. Now, wallet

1:09

comes to us from New England. She lives

1:11

in Massachusetts because, weirdly,

1:13

she's a Brazilian who cannot handle hot weather.

1:16

In her downtime, she loves to

1:18

read, she loves to scroll, lifestyle,

1:20

and home, Instagram feeds,

1:22

she loves organization TikTok, Let

1:25

me give you little pop culture background.

1:27

Right? Favorite books, station eleven,

1:29

a Court of Instant Fury, Rules of Stability,

1:32

but Dutch House. Movies. Hidalgoes

1:34

a guy in ten days, Sweden, Alabama, and

1:36

nights tell inception. TV

1:38

shows. She loves her saw some

1:40

Yellowstone, NOx has found a friend. That's

1:42

right. Excellent. Yellowstone. She

1:45

loves succession. She loves mad

1:47

men. She loves Outlander. Another

1:50

another friend at the company. Do you feel victimized right

1:52

now? Because I feel like I have a total ally here. I'm

1:54

so excited. You really do because the only it's

1:56

like Veep, and it's we all have Veep. Right?

1:58

And then music, I love her she's really

2:00

great music because she loves beach weather, she loves

2:02

talk, she loves Taylor Swift, and she loves

2:04

Matt Mason, We'll include a link in the

2:06

show notes because right now, she has made her

2:08

Instagram public, which listen,

2:10

guys. Be cool. Go say hello.

2:13

Say hello to her. Wish her the best.

2:15

Don't tell her any secrets yet. Let her learn

2:17

on her own. Don't be weird yet. You gotta say It'd

2:20

be weird yet. It'd be cool. It'd be cool. So we're so

2:22

excited to have while on the team,

2:24

we're so excited to have East Coast representation.

2:26

I'm excited just to have a staff member who likes pop culture.

2:29

That's fun. That's a departure.

2:30

That's different. You know, somebody who's actually seen a

2:32

whole movie, Erin, rude.

2:37

There's power in mixing it up. We don't believe that when

2:39

it comes to listening to Popcast. Only listen to PMG

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but we do believe it when it comes to a workout.

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We all know that sticking to a workout can

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2:50

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Try Peloton risk free with a thirty day home trial

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we're from one of our favorite incredible sponsors,

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percent off your first manning system. Alright,

4:16

Jamie. It's time to do what

4:18

we're here to do, and that is not

4:20

make friends. You know, that is

4:22

But that that into the No.

4:24

Look. I'll I'll be

4:26

honest. I'll be can be vulnerable for a second?

4:28

I don't know. I just talked to James. Bet he got around.

4:30

But Jason, if you're out there, like, maybe some light piano

4:33

music, some heartfelt music, I was

4:35

scrolling Hulu the other night, you know, just looking like,

4:37

what's new? What's good? Just watch something pop

4:39

culture guy here blah blah blah. And

4:41

I saw the Zechler, you

4:43

know, the header. And I was like, I said,

4:45

I was on the couch next to

4:48

Wondery dog who's missing an eye, another dog who had

4:50

to get twelve stitches. Honestly, I don't

4:52

know why, but he just did. And

4:54

I said the s word. I was like, day

4:57

gone, man. I gotta watch that. And then

4:59

I remembered. I don't

5:01

have to watch that movie. Free

5:03

from the chains. I'm really excited

5:05

about this episode where we get to

5:07

like have our cake but eat it too a

5:09

little bit with these contestants and with the bachelor.

5:11

No. I'm very excited. So let's talk a

5:13

little bit about Zatch for those who are

5:15

not familiar. Okay? So Zatch

5:17

shall cross name as a sentence.

5:20

I appreciate that. Mhmm. He's

5:22

twenty six years old. He's a tech executive,

5:24

not anymore, not anymore. From

5:26

Anaheim Hills, California, guys, if you don't

5:28

know where Anaheim else is. It's next to Disneyland.

5:31

But instead of them having a theme park, they have a

5:33

golf course. So congratulations. He

5:36

was a contestant on orgasmy and old

5:38

lady hair season. Which I checked in on

5:40

the old lady here, still old lady

5:42

here. Could tell your first name if it

5:44

was the end of my life or her name. I'm

5:46

Racheling Gabby. Racheling Gabby. Great.

5:48

Got it. So he this

5:50

is what this I just wanna read a little bit

5:52

of ABC's press release for this upcoming

5:54

bachelor's season, an enduring twenty

5:56

six year old tech executive. Shawcross

5:58

stole bachelor nation's heart. Do you

6:00

remember him? I don't. I don't know. I've got some

6:02

notes. I don't know. Okay. On season

6:04

nineteen of the match rep with his quiet

6:06

charm wit and openness

6:08

to finding lasting love audience

6:10

saw Shawcross put himself in his

6:12

desire to meet the one first when he made his emotional

6:15

exit. Opening the door for his

6:17

person to walk through. Yeah.

6:19

See, if I was writing a copy, I would say,

6:21

would you like to see a hot

6:23

incel, try to find love again

6:26

because he's still really upset the way it ended

6:28

last time with the Florida woman. Then watch

6:30

this season because you're gonna love it. Sounds great.

6:32

Listen. And as a reminder, she

6:35

thought he was too young despite the fact that

6:37

they were the same age. Right. And he thought

6:39

she was phony and he was like, I'm

6:41

out. And he left. He quit. He wasn't

6:43

even act. Which I think he knew he was gonna

6:45

be and he was like, well, I'm gonna go before

6:47

a mask to go. But

6:50

he so just knowing who he is, he

6:52

played football at California Polytechnic State

6:54

University. I asked you the last the

6:56

one we first met him as a contestant, I was like, what's

6:58

a polytechnic? And you're like, I don't

7:00

know. Like Okay. Yeah. That's true. You

7:02

said California polytechnic was

7:05

a fake university that plays another

7:07

university in a movie. Yeah.

7:09

That's the that's the rival school, I think.

7:11

That's right. And then he he

7:13

graduated from Cal poly in twenty nineteen.

7:16

These people are so young. All four years, he

7:18

was like, no. I'm gonna I'm gonna finish my journey

7:20

year. At the Polytech. That's right. And

7:22

when we talked about him in his original bio, because

7:24

there's a reminder he would love to be Spider Man for a

7:26

day. Yeah. You said that's

7:28

either because he loves Zendaya or he wants to

7:30

kill his uncle. Hey, we learned his uncle. He

7:32

was petty. Whoa. There's

7:34

a lot of edible stuff going on with the

7:36

trunk. There's Does Aaron know that?

7:38

Aaron, do you know his uncle's cronk? Wait.

7:41

What? Is it kinda foreburdened? Yeah. That's exactly

7:43

right. That's his uncle's getting? See, this is

7:45

fun because Like, Erica doesn't listen to

7:47

her bachelor recap, and I don't want her to. I don't her to. I

7:49

don't want her to. But this is, like,

7:51

the stuff that gets old and wrote, to

7:53

me, like, now we get to, like, throw it a dare

7:55

and then be like, oh, like, it's all it's all new

7:57

again.

7:57

Right? It's all new. And so you also he also said

7:59

in his bio, his fine fact was it? He loved

8:01

beach volleyball and is a master of

8:03

the top gun high five. And

8:05

you said, men should aspire to

8:07

do more. Men

8:12

used to fight moors, you know? That's what I'm saying.

8:14

And so in a recent interview, he said

8:16

there are two main things that I look for, and first is

8:18

how kind and compassionate they are.

8:20

Just like every man, everywhere. Mhmm.

8:22

And I think that's something that's pretty

8:24

rare nowadays. And he said the other thing is

8:26

having someone that loves to do fun of interest

8:28

stuff with me, whether it's traveling, or

8:30

trying cool foods. And as a

8:33

reminder, he does not like

8:35

eggs. So I don't know what the cool foods are gonna

8:37

be, but Yeah. Not egg is not It

8:39

doesn't like breakfast. And so. Now

8:41

I'll tell you a little bit about Cal Polytech,

8:44

Jamie. Okay. Is it Cal Polytech or Cal Polytech

8:46

state? Because I'm on Cal Polytech state, and I'm

8:48

not coming off this corner. Let's just assume

8:50

it's Cal poly state. Yeah. It's

8:52

it's the oldest of the three Polytechnics in the

8:54

California State University system. Isn't that

8:56

fun? Is that possible? Is it is it

8:58

poly the multi tech knowledgeable

9:00

that they have to

9:01

be? What if it's only one tech? That would be hilarious.

9:03

It should be UNITEC You

9:06

you detect Nick. It should.

9:08

People also ask on Google, is it prestigious and

9:10

is it difficult to get into? I feel like if you're

9:12

asking those on

9:12

Google, it's probably not even this too. You

9:14

know what I mean? It may not be that. Yeah. It may not be

9:16

that at all. So yeah. I

9:18

mean, look, this is okay.

9:21

Let's let's let's level the gaze a little

9:23

bit. Obviously, the the subtext here and

9:25

we alluded to it where this first

9:27

iteration were not recapping. Right? So

9:30

Along with seven other bachelor

9:32

podcasts that have decided to use Unbeknownst

9:34

to us. Credit us. We

9:36

were on this for ourselves in in

9:38

the summer. A lot of this was

9:40

about the trend of the show, but I would like to

9:42

say the cherry on top of that

9:44

we have to change things. For

9:46

me, at least, was Zach being

9:48

named the bachelor. Is that also true

9:50

for you? One hundred percent. We I

9:52

just wasn't interested in yet another

9:54

I played football in college Wondery

9:56

neck is the same width as my head.

9:59

I just that was not a vibe that I

10:01

wanted to pursue. I did not find him

10:04

witty or charming in

10:06

his season. That was when he was a

10:08

contestant. So I don't know I get that they

10:10

have to Everyone has to market what they gotta market,

10:12

and so you do the best you can. But Yeah. But when

10:14

you choose the thing like, that's that's a

10:16

problem. Even with past

10:18

bachelor's, we'll stick with bachelor's here. Like,

10:20

with Clayton, with Clayton, at least he

10:22

was like, he has this weird connection with

10:25

children. It's not inappropriate, but it is a it like,

10:27

he feels very, he feels like, Betty Draper on

10:29

the first season Batman and her neighbor son like,

10:31

a neighborhood kid, Glenn. There's a weird connection there,

10:33

and that's interesting we could put out on TV. There's just

10:35

nothing about Zach. There's nothing that's interesting.

10:37

And I think, know, obviously, we owned a great length

10:39

in a couple, the more he knows ago about

10:42

why we're not recapping it. So we won't belabor that

10:44

here, but I think broadly, there

10:46

used to be this like surreal

10:50

weird grandeur to the show,

10:52

like watching it was, like, being in

10:54

a in a in a dumpster, but sometimes you found

10:56

something cool in the dumpster. You're like, this is kinda cool. Right?

10:58

But now it's just, like, watching the shows,

11:00

like, being in a dumpster in the middle of

11:02

a landfill. There's just, like, there's nothing good. It all smells,

11:04

and it just it makes you feel bad about yourself.

11:06

That's so weird. That's right. And

11:08

listen, how is it gonna turn out? Like, will they

11:10

find love? Probably not. If you're a

11:12

new child, you just got engaged this

11:14

weekend to literally a

11:17

woman who is twenty four years

11:19

old. Wow. We are forty two. Sure.

11:21

Her brain's not even finished. Yeah. And

11:24

your leg, I wanna spend my whole life

11:26

with a woman named Natalie Joy. So You

11:28

know what? Jamie, he can't have a woman with a

11:30

Finnish brain because he's in a beef war with Chris

11:32

Harrison. So he's gotta have all his mess.

11:35

That's right. He came with her. He he no. He

11:37

Gotta have all his intellectual faculties to take on Chris

11:39

Harrison in his new podcast, which is just insane.

11:41

It's really good. For me, like, Zach,

11:43

He's kind of like ordering a

11:46

delicious salad. But when you get it, you

11:48

realize they left out the cheese, the bacon, the dressing,

11:50

and the croutons. And so you're

11:52

just left with, like, some wet lettuce and maybe

11:54

some onions or whatever, like, a plant called

11:56

broccoli and your Yeah. No. Which

11:58

will come back to broccoli. Weirdly enough. We will come

12:00

back to broccoli. But like

12:02

he I think everything you need to know

12:04

about him is he's boring, and you

12:06

alluded to it in your intro for him.

12:08

The way he exited the his

12:11

his season with Gabby and the other one,

12:14

he I don't know if, like, you

12:16

know, we've heard of Scruggs before, like, due to our

12:18

Scruggs. Yeah. He Zach is

12:20

a he's a sub, and

12:22

what that means, that stands for

12:24

AAA guy who if a girl breaks

12:26

up to him, he calls her a stuck up

12:28

b word. So he's a stuck up viewer bro

12:30

because that's a that's a hundred percent how he played that

12:32

situation. He was like, well, actually, you're

12:34

disgusting and I'm the coolest and, like, you lost out

12:36

on this. You know? They even leaned into that

12:38

into some of the promos for the season

12:40

of throwing shade at old

12:42

lady hair. When it's like, guys, she's doing

12:44

them with her hair. Like, you gotta move

12:46

on. You gotta stop being like,

12:48

oh, no. I'm great. It was them that

12:50

was awful. Yeah. Sometimes you're

12:52

the you're the you are the problem. I'm

12:54

not hear the issue. And the only thing I can

12:56

remember because I do forget about all these

12:58

people after, like, the seasons over -- Sure. --

13:00

but the only things I can retain from him

13:02

were His dad was or his

13:04

uncle was crunk. So that's cool. That is cool.

13:06

That's exactly cool today. Very cool. And

13:08

his dad, when he was a kid, would take him to the

13:10

airport, to watch planes, take off and

13:12

late. And that is the end of what I remember about that. And

13:14

that's all. And again, I

13:16

haven't added much to that because I don't think

13:18

he's very interesting. Because,

13:21

listen, he has he started with

13:23

sixteen hundred followers when he

13:25

joined Bachelors Nation as a contestant. He

13:27

now has sixty seven thousand followers.

13:29

That's how little people are interested in

13:31

him as a person. And I'm not seeing I know you

13:33

might go. Sixty seven thousand is a lot of people.

13:35

It is a lot of people, but not for a

13:37

bachelor lead. That is not

13:39

impressive. No. No. I'm not saying it

13:41

would have been better if they did a hologram jiffer

13:43

Damer on the season of the bachelor, but I'm not

13:45

saying it wouldn't have not done better. Does

13:47

that make sense? Well, I'll be honest. The four

13:49

women that came from Florida, I think still would have

13:51

shown up. They're still here. Holland's still

13:53

here. Okay. She it doesn't matter.

13:56

Okay. So let's talk about these women for a second. So

13:58

there are thirty contestants. We

14:00

the youngest is twenty three. There are a

14:02

couple of twenty three year olds and the

14:04

oldest is the oldest of old you can

14:06

get. Thirty. Thirteen

14:08

of these women are Gen Z

14:10

and seventeen are millennials. Wow.

14:13

But but to be clear, for if

14:15

you're listening in your millennial, these are the

14:17

baby kind. These are not forty one

14:19

year old millennials. No. No. So,

14:21

okay, the average age of twenty six, the the

14:23

only comforting fact about how young they are

14:25

is that they were all born in the

14:27

last century. Man I think this will be the

14:29

last batch or that is true. This is it end

14:31

of an era. Sam? So there are two

14:33

olivias, two Victoria's. There's a lot

14:35

of Listen. This feels like a day

14:37

care -- Mhmm. -- like Ariel,

14:40

Kylie, Brianna, Brooklyn,

14:42

Madison. Like, it just feels like all of

14:44

these girls you have to invite to your child's

14:46

birthday party. Yes. You know? Exactly

14:48

right. But four from

14:51

Florida, three from New York, three from

14:53

Texas, three from Maryland.

14:55

Maryland's coming in hot. Maryland. Feature

14:57

getting to the budget of the season, obviously, getting

15:00

some reps here. And normally, the state that is dot that

15:02

dominates California, only one

15:04

contestant from California. It's weird

15:06

because we know what we know about Maryland. They do

15:08

crabcakes and football. We don't know that they do bachelor

15:10

at contestants or bachelor contestants. We don't know.

15:12

This will be interesting. And guess what? We'll never know because

15:14

we're not gonna watch it. So we will even

15:16

know if it works out We do have a rodeo

15:18

racer, four nurses, and a

15:20

nanny from Austria.

15:22

Yeah. If you're picking up on a theme, on a man

15:24

who just needs to be taken care of. You

15:26

are correct in that. Check that video

15:29

spot. Amazing. I I will

15:31

say in reading the Metro buyers, because

15:33

I put a lot of emphasis and

15:35

weight on on the the contestant buyouts. Right? I

15:37

feel like -- Yeah. -- it's the source of

15:39

stone. It's the gossela tells us what we need

15:41

to know about the season. I will

15:43

say the by the voice of the bios

15:45

this season has really evolved. My theory

15:47

is they're is they're forming this out to AI. This is

15:49

Chad GPT because some of the sentences

15:51

are just weird. You know? It's like,

15:53

here in the bachelor dojo, and you're

15:55

like, who's writing this? And it's

15:57

all clear. Exclamation points in

15:59

these bios. I'm glad you brought that up, Jamie. I have a

16:01

fun fact. I did some research. Would you like to hear

16:03

my research? I would. I would love to hear it.

16:05

Would you believe that

16:07

on average minority contested

16:09

biopsies had three exclamation

16:11

points prepared graph. And

16:13

whities old whitey girls.

16:15

They had barely over one and a

16:17

half exclamation points. Is it because we're

16:19

trying to really make sure you like these

16:21

women of color? Because

16:23

we don't think you will, if you will, if you will,

16:25

if you will, I will, like, slice his

16:27

abusive mouth allegedly. I won't.

16:29

But there's a theory there. It's interesting.

16:31

That's right. I used the same

16:34

model. III copy pasted some

16:36

into some AI software and I

16:38

wanted to create the the

16:40

directive I gave artificial intelligence was, would

16:42

you please describe Jamey B golden's biography if

16:44

she was a contestant on the post? Okay.

16:46

Here's what it spat out.

16:49

Okay. Janie B golden is no

16:51

stranger to boldness. She is

16:53

single, stunning, ready to

16:55

Pringle and mingle. That's where to god.

16:57

I love pre goals.

16:59

I do too. She's confident

17:01

and outspoken and will be ready to flirt with

17:03

everyone, not just all the eligible bachelors.

17:06

Remember. I like that it says remember. Like, it

17:08

hold it's holding your face. Remember,

17:10

she is down for anything and always

17:12

up for a good time.

17:15

Well, I do you want you to copy and paste this to

17:17

that to me? Because

17:18

I think it's not

17:19

a show. Listen, I am down to

17:21

mingle. Amingle. With anybody? Anytime. Let's

17:23

go. It's not down to mingle and Pringle. You know,

17:25

that should be the baseline for you. That's really good. And you're right. That's what

17:27

all of the as we read some of these, that is

17:30

exactly what they sound like. I

17:32

do think there's probably a richer conversation

17:34

for us to have about, like, delineating

17:36

what are to do lists

17:38

in our life, what are bucket lists

17:40

in our life, and what are pipe dreams in our life. One could test

17:42

it wants to live in Disney World. That's a

17:44

pipe dream. Right? Because it's not likely to

17:47

happen. One, describes her bucket list item wanting

17:49

to go to

17:49

Arizona. That's just a to do

17:52

list. You just

17:54

make

17:54

some time and buy the ticket and you can

17:58

like you can get there on Southwest for most hubs.

18:00

I don't know. Maybe Southwest. I don't know. Not

18:02

reliable, but it's just I feel like there's a better

18:04

conversation to have at some point for

18:06

us. So Why don't we kick off

18:08

here and get to some

18:10

weirdo contestants? Okay. First is

18:12

Vanessa. Vanessa, it's twenty three. She's a

18:14

restaurant marketer from Baton

18:16

Rouge, Louisiana. Already it's weird.

18:18

You're a restaurant marketer in

18:20

Baton Rouge. Do you know what I'm saying? Like, you're

18:22

just trying to market. Like, this

18:24

place has better at you phase in this

18:26

place. We got gumbo. Next, my job's

18:28

over. I'm good. Then she says I

18:30

consider her she says she considers

18:32

herself a top notch food

18:34

foodie. You are living in Baton

18:36

Rouge. You're twin siblings to Baton Rouge,

18:38

but, like, you're near New Orleans.

18:41

Go live in New Orleans if you wanna be

18:43

a foodie. Also, she said growing

18:45

up, she played a lot of freeze tag.

18:48

Single oomph sentence. Standalone.

18:50

Wasn't a lead in. Wasn't a set up. It was just

18:52

boom. Fact about me. That's

18:54

right. And then her dream do app partner

18:56

of every singer in the

18:58

history -- Mhmm. -- is very

19:00

gab of the BJ's. Here's, by the

19:02

way, in They're alive, Aaron, Barry

19:04

Gibbs. Dead. Oh,

19:06

live, isn't he? Oh, we're alive.

19:08

He's alive. Marie died. Maury's

19:10

side. Sorry, Aaron. I would've lost that, miss

19:12

Maury. But listen, if I'm fact about Barry

19:14

Git. In January in two thousand six, he bought

19:16

the the home of Johnny Cash and

19:18

June Carter Cash. Hendersonville, Tennessee

19:20

where you and I have been. Mhmm. And

19:23

it burned down in his renovation. And so he

19:25

burned down an iconic home

19:27

of country music, superstars,

19:31

what? And so I like that she picked him.

19:33

Also, if this is

19:35

important in the picture. Of

19:37

her. And we'll link in the show notes to the buyers

19:39

where you can see everybody's had shot.

19:41

She is wearing more clothing

19:43

than anyone will wear all season on the

19:45

show. She

19:45

has on a high collar, long

19:48

sleeve, no skin is showing.

19:50

That alone makes her a weirdo

19:52

in this And when you zoom out, sometimes you can get

19:54

the full bodged pictures. When you zoom out, she's like

19:56

she's like knees deep into car hearts. They're

19:58

just not pulled up high enough. Like, what are

20:00

you doing, Vanessa? Are you marketing There are women's photos on ABC

20:03

dot com where it does appear that they are

20:05

nude. Yeah. There is no there is no clothing showing

20:07

in the headshot. She is a

20:09

weirdo in that respect. Do you think she thinks

20:12

Berry give is Jimmy Fallon when Jimmy

20:14

Fallon and Justin's were like dude, the BGs? No.

20:16

I think she thinks it's

20:18

actually Justin or, like, she thinks Berry

20:20

is Mallory. Mhmm. That's why we probably cross

20:22

it. I I don't know if you guys have seen a picture of

20:24

Berry give lately. But looks like Will Farrell playing

20:26

a confused old man like it is not Six

20:28

guys. He's not like he's not a whippersnapper

20:30

anyway. I can't believe he's made your

20:32

redacted celebrityista dialist. You

20:35

know, in twenty twenty. Oh, yeah. I think

20:37

you can hear me sound about it. Godspeed to him.

20:39

Godspeed to him. I'm gonna, you know,

20:41

man. Wow. I have a pick of a pick of the

20:43

roster here. I think I'm gonna go

20:45

cat. I think with a cat too.

20:47

She's a big weirdo. Yeah. She's a big

20:49

weirdo, Erin, in her in a

20:51

in a an

20:53

average bachelor contestant bio.

20:55

Mhmm. There are around a hundred

20:57

and thirty words. Okay?

20:59

How many times do you think the word cat

21:01

in reference to her name was

21:03

used in her bio. I'm setting the over under a nine and

21:05

a half.

21:06

I'm

21:06

gonna go I'm gonna go

21:09

over. It is over. It

21:11

is over. It's over almost ten percent of the time,

21:13

cat is being said in this bio. In a way

21:15

that's not it doesn't make sense and it's

21:17

not very reasonable. But it

21:19

is said ten times. And this person I

21:21

think for me, it started

21:23

with the face she's making in her picture

21:25

it's the same when someone makes when they come out of your bathroom and

21:27

say, I think someone's wrong with your toilet. When they know Dang, well, they just

21:30

clocked it because they do get so harsh.

21:32

She

21:32

does look like she just said cat. Yeah.

21:35

Don't don't be mad, but Cat just

21:37

called you. So then I think I don't know. You look at

21:40

puncher? It's really

21:40

bad. She she describes herself as

21:43

love and hot dogs. Which

21:45

I'm not a hot dog. Is that really

21:47

a sad battle if you say that? It's not. But

21:49

I don't need to something you lead with. Okay.

21:51

You could be like Vanessa and play. Say like, as a kid, I play a lot of

21:53

free stack. That's a cool fact to lead with. That's a cool thing to

21:55

tell me about who you are and what you're about. But when you

21:57

say love hot dogs, I don't like that, and then when you follow it up and

22:00

you

22:00

say, I don't do dinner dates. Honestly, that's the most

22:03

psychopathic thing I've ever read in these polls. You don't think

22:05

anybody else?

22:05

That is that's a Tinder bio that a lot of

22:07

people are gonna swipe right You

22:09

know what I mean? Because that's not I love because it's not

22:11

just cat loves hot dogs. It's cat,

22:13

all caps, love hot

22:16

dogs. Oh, so you think this is like, an advanced, elegant,

22:19

tender advertisement? Yeah. She's, like, I'm a

22:21

dog. Yeah. She's, like, I'm a dancer,

22:23

which means I'm flexible and I love a

22:25

hot dog. And you don't have to take me to

22:27

dinner. That is exactly what I read

22:29

there. Wow. I completely misread this. This

22:31

I completely misread this. I'm sorry. That's that's

22:33

that's my bad. Yeah. She she wants to be a priority.

22:35

She wants to have cheese and cheese and crackers in the central

22:38

park. And I

22:40

just just there's

22:42

a lot to be wary

22:44

of here with

22:46

cats. Okay. My next weirdo is

22:48

going to be Madison. From

22:50

Fargo, North Dakota. Bigo. Listen.

22:53

Out of the gate, you're from North Dakota.

22:55

Like, I get that you wanna get out of that, you know,

22:57

never ending Yeah. But

22:59

this is not the place for you. Twenty six

23:01

business owner, she took

23:03

on the role of caretaker for her two

23:05

younger sisters. So that is somewhat already

23:07

that's coming in with a grudge against

23:09

her family. That's right. Know for doing that to her.

23:11

She says that her sisters are part of a package deal.

23:13

Trust me, you do not want Madison

23:16

and Brittany and Kellen

23:18

to be a part of the package deal.

23:20

You know, honestly, Jamie, I love

23:23

the audacity and the boldness of someone who's like,

23:25

I'm coming in here. I'm competing with

23:27

thirty other women. They're all objectively

23:29

hotter than me. They just are. I'm sorry.

23:31

They are. Also, you're gonna deal with my

23:33

sisters, and that's gonna separate me. That's

23:35

gonna be a good thing. And also, when we get a

23:37

dinner, if you order a

23:39

sauce on the side or on the meal, freaking

23:41

lose it because I dislike all

23:43

sauces. Who dislikes

23:45

all sauces? You can't

23:47

just say that. That's that's like when

23:49

a woman says, I don't have any girlfriends. I'm just

23:52

friends with guys. That's a red

23:54

flag, like a huge red. And if you're

23:56

listening and you're like, red flag about that?

23:58

You need to talk to a therapist because they want to

24:00

bring it to you. Listen, at our house, we tell our

24:02

kids, you can never say always never

24:04

because nothing's always true or never true. Oh.

24:06

So you can't Hey.

24:08

It's just stupid. It's like,

24:11

honestly, sleep. I respect you as a child, and III

24:13

appreciate your viewpoint, but that's a stupid thing you're saying.

24:15

It's just fundamentally you're not stupid, but what

24:17

you're saying is stupid. Does that

24:19

make sense? And then Masa says, I don't like spicy

24:21

zack sauce or zack sauce.

24:23

That's just a stupid thing she's saying, and it's

24:25

not my fault. Sax pieces in North Dakota

24:27

where she comes from. Listen. And then she says,

24:29

when given the question, you

24:31

can have any superpower

24:34

Mhmm. It it that's ever been created

24:36

by Stanley, and she's

24:38

like, pause time. Okay.

24:41

Why? Okay. That's okay. She's pissed

24:43

on it. She's pissed off. That's cool. She did

24:45

pissed. Because I get it that she's like, I

24:47

just hate that time passes. That's

24:49

what's stupid about that. That's what's weird about

24:51

that. What what you do to pause time like,

24:53

Zach on say by the bell wants

24:55

to have a conversation with the audience. Who's

24:57

Madison talking to? Is to

24:59

give us a narrative voice over. Madison, you don't have

25:02

time to do that. Like, that's not even a realistic

25:04

possibility. Honestly, with her bio, because she's on my

25:06

weirdo list too, I feel like we

25:08

should do two snake draft

25:10

episodes, one about restaurant sauces,

25:12

and like -- Yes. -- which one's the best?

25:14

And also, what would be the cool super hours

25:16

to have? Because power to pause time,

25:18

feel like that wouldn't even make like, that wouldn't even

25:20

get drafted. That would not even be So nobody would even

25:22

bring that up. It would even be, like, fifth or sixth

25:24

round. No. No.

25:25

Erin, if you could pick any superpower, what would it be? And

25:27

please, God, don't say power power upon time. In

25:30

Visibility. In

25:31

okay. Let me let me do the key

25:33

things, but you're tricky things the people. We

25:35

do whatever to do stuff. Like, just

25:37

so, like, seriously. Erin, you've

25:39

got bad ankles. Don't backpedal that hard.

25:42

Like, I've my secret thing has

25:44

always been to people picking visibility. They're kind

25:46

of like a secret creeper because,

25:48

like, they wanna do invisible stuff. He is a

25:50

secret creeper She's not a secret creeper. She's

25:52

not a secret creeper. I

25:53

mean, like, I like to know people's

25:55

business that they don't wanna tell. Well,

25:57

that's a creeper. Welcome to it.

25:59

Like, here at the spa. I was like, I'm doing

26:01

here at the spa stuff. I'm not, like,

26:03

watching you change. She said here at the spa

26:05

as an icon. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. I'm

26:07

I'm trying to spin it with you. Like, this is good. You're

26:09

not being a pervert. That's why I'm saying, you know,

26:12

pervert stuff. No. I think what both of us

26:14

did ask are you sick of creeper and used in a question.

26:16

Let the record show. Just literally say this.

26:17

Not a perf creeper. I'm an

26:20

intellectual creeper. But what

26:20

if something perf happens while you're doing

26:23

other creeper That's not my fault.

26:24

You're like, wait. The invisible shoe fits.

26:27

I will wear it. Thank you very

26:29

much.

26:29

Okay. I'm gonna pick I can't

26:31

believe she's still here. I'm so excited to talk about

26:34

Holland. But Holland, I wish She

26:36

she fell into set the category for

26:39

me. I welcome to talk about her at any time. Okay. Let's

26:41

let's both chime in here. So my first

26:43

favorite thing was she's from Florida. So I was

26:45

like, now we know we got a winner. We got someone

26:47

who's wearing this for that. Weird.

26:49

Florida. Is she's Boca. Right? She's Boca Raton.

26:51

That's how you know. Because

26:53

if you're from Boca and you're on the

26:56

show, there's a reason why you're outspoken on

26:58

this show. You know what I mean? Like, you haven't made it.

27:00

You're trying to make it out like the

27:02

subtext of the other one who dumped

27:04

Zach. She was from well, she was from

27:06

Florida. Right? Yes? Yeah. Rachel. Yeah. Yeah.

27:09

She's from Florida. So Zach's very he's

27:11

definitely gonna be salty on that. I

27:14

like that she just leaned in

27:16

and they were like, what's your favorite show? And she's like the

27:18

bachelor. Because that is

27:20

such an insane thing to say in a bio on an

27:22

insane TV show that

27:25

has you be on the show, but anytime

27:27

you acknowledge understanding the

27:29

show, that's a negative. And anytime you acknowledge

27:32

that, like, maybe there's some strategy to this, that's

27:34

also a negative. So I'm fascinating at the

27:36

subjects that that facts gonna

27:37

generate. What are what are some things that you

27:38

saw that you liked? Well, I let me give you one of the

27:41

many categories I put around, which was which

27:43

we'll get to later, which is Maybe

27:46

this is not the maybe she is not the

27:48

age on her birth certificate. Oh,

27:51

okay. Yeah. She is twenty four. that

27:53

woman that I am seeing at right now

27:55

is no less than forty nine years

27:57

old. That's no. She was You know how I

27:59

know that, not only about looking at her, but I also knew that

28:01

one of her fun facts and she loves, quote,

28:04

yachting with her girls. Well,

28:06

those are all that's Jane Fonda and Sally

28:08

Field that she's yachting with because

28:10

twenty four year olds unless

28:12

they're in a beta, they do not

28:14

yacht. They don't yacht in Boca Raton.

28:16

They You know, they do not. And I

28:18

think this is someone who voted for

28:20

FDR all three times. You know, she's like a love.

28:22

Not like I would vote for the fourth if you were.

28:24

Into him. Into him. Also,

28:26

she she loves

28:28

a wine and sushi. You know what they serve

28:30

at every nursing home? Why didn't

28:33

sushi? Let's say, in fact

28:35

check. FBR served four terms. That's my bad.

28:37

So Jason lead that in for a kid. I mean, she didn't buy

28:39

for him at for the fourth. Oh, yeah. I mean, she's like,

28:41

okay. We need some new blood here. You know? Like,

28:43

what's was he dead at Pearl Harbor? Like, who knows? Did he

28:45

know something like that? I

28:47

the probably the biggest reflect I saw

28:49

in Her bio was the

28:52

things she's looking for. Like

28:55

like in a in a potential spouse.

28:57

And and she describes it as

29:00

unwavering commitment. Loyalty and

29:02

a genuine personality. And now

29:04

if I was a therapist, Jane, I'm not a therapist, but

29:06

if I was, done done a lot better help,

29:08

I would point out That

29:10

Holland seems to be revealing some trust issues with her priorities

29:13

because she says unwavering

29:15

commitment that meets someone wavered. Loyalty,

29:18

someone Wondery, genuine

29:21

personality, someone wasn't who she thought she

29:23

was. And again, I'm not an effect

29:25

therapist, but if I was, I would recommend

29:27

not going on a TV show based around the premise of

29:29

one, a mandating thirty other women, and

29:31

two, those women explicitly not

29:33

being there to make friends. I feel like

29:35

this is firecracker situation. A

29:37

hundred percent and then she says

29:39

spending time in her home state of

29:41

Florida. Listen, if you win,

29:43

you're not going to get to go back

29:45

to Florida. Like, you're you're like, you love Florida too

29:47

much. You know who else love Florida a

29:49

lot? The elderly. I

29:51

love it. So I will expect

29:54

Floridaians who, like, the

29:56

the only place they wanna be a Florida. You know, they

29:58

don't wanna be like, I'm out of here. I can't wait to get out of here.

30:00

They're kinda like, oh, let's let me get out of control. I love

30:02

a Florida. That's the thing about most

30:04

Floridians who love Florida recognize

30:06

Florida man

30:07

energy. They

30:07

know that it exists and they're very

30:10

aware of how weirdly how many alligators are

30:12

in, you know, Croker and

30:14

Publix. That's right. It's a it's a wonderful

30:16

texture of life. And again, I think I've greenlit

30:18

this a million years ago, but

30:20

Lauren Groff, she has like a short story

30:22

series about Florida. It's incredible.

30:24

It's all stories based in Florida. You mentioned the wine

30:26

sushi. Did you like how in her bio

30:28

she's like, Oh, and he must also love wine and sushi. You hope you're

30:30

listening, Zach. This is written this is

30:32

written this text. Yeah. He's not listening. Is that

30:34

what he talking about? Oh, again,

30:36

ABC intern. What are what are you

30:38

doing? Also, you know, who always wants

30:40

you to love sushi? People who love

30:42

sushi. Wow. That's guess what? You don't like

30:44

sushi? It's okay. No. know

30:46

what? Can I also say this? I'll do like a like

30:48

a a dad yellow light. I'll do a

30:50

dad yellow light. Okay. Don't make your kids like

30:52

sushi because they don't realize how expensive

30:54

sushi is. So then you get some kids, maybe go

30:56

to the beach hypothetically, and maybe they all

30:58

order sushi because they just wanna try it. And

31:00

they're like, hey sushi's expensive. They're like, good dad. We're

31:02

just like trying to expand her palate. And then like, you know,

31:04

of, like, the Rolls eight, like, one and a

31:06

half. And then you have to be you don't wanna be back. I was,

31:08

like, hey, you know, we're gonna box that up. We're gonna eat that

31:10

tomorrow. No wonder where it's cold shoot sushi

31:12

left over. For the next day. Nobody likes a

31:14

moldy sushi. Nobody likes a moldy sushi.

31:16

So maybe wait till, like, eighteen. Maybe it's a graduation

31:18

present. Like, take

31:21

You graduate with honors from high school, and you're

31:24

like, here's your sushi. Here's one

31:26

sushi, and then talk to me, and then maybe we'll

31:28

order the rest. We're not fair enough.

31:30

Fair enough.

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33:46

Okay.

33:46

And

33:46

my last word I think is Davia.

33:49

Davia twenty five, marketing

33:51

manager from Charleston, South Carolina. Love that.

33:53

Everything seems normal. She

33:55

loves dancing, listening to Lizzo. That

33:58

feels like

33:59

I love Lizzo, but it feels like for

34:02

Davea, that is a

34:04

token choice I'm

34:04

gonna be honest. Mhmm. She says she loves reading romance novels like the

34:06

seven husbands of Evelyn Hug

34:09

Hugo. Wow. Evelyn Hugo.

34:11

I'm really right. But

34:14

listen, here's what I have to say about that. She's clarifying

34:16

because of the other cadessa who

34:18

says she likes reading trashy, reps

34:21

have forbidden, Jamie, of class. He's forbidden class.

34:24

Listen. I like to listen to class.

34:26

First of all, seven husbands, eleven when

34:28

he go. I'm doing Evelynn and AAA link because everybody's I think in

34:30

the audio it was Evelynn maybe.

34:32

Was it? No. No. It can't be. It

34:33

has to be

34:34

Evelynn. Oh, I don't know where I'm getting Evelynn

34:37

hey, but you know what? I like your unique corner, a systemic corner.

34:39

I know. So the seven husband's of

34:42

Ivan Hugo is

34:44

not really a romance. I know there's a

34:46

romance in it. There's seven rameses in it.

34:48

But Yeah. It's not One here and neither seven

34:50

husbands, so that's probably not a good thing. That's

34:52

right. And here's what same same therapeutic

34:55

issue. She's looking for an honest man who

34:58

will prioritize their relationship

35:00

-- Mhmm. -- above all else. Okay.

35:02

Can I just think that

35:04

shows her she also says that she

35:06

could live on oysters. I I looked it up. If you only

35:08

ate oysters, you would die

35:11

within a year. And

35:13

that's that's assuming you're drinking water. So -- Sure.

35:16

-- like, you would die within a year. And

35:18

then she can outburb anyone. I just

35:20

don't know that that's the

35:22

skill set. No. You wanna have? Plus, I'll be honest with

35:24

you, her head is big. And

35:26

my head is big, and I also should not

35:28

be

35:29

on the bachelor. Know what I mean? Yeah. I

35:31

I can't live with someone who is only noisers and blowing a bathroom smelling like oysters, but

35:34

then also Yeah.

35:36

Oysters. It's

35:38

true. It's too much. Like, Ethan Brad. And I think her

35:40

appearance, I would say, it looks

35:42

like someone has Photoshop Meggin Fox like

35:45

six times too much, you know. Yeah. And they need to, like, control

35:47

z, control z, control z to get back to original Megan

35:50

Fox. But it's just like, it's not

35:51

there. It's not there. Not there. There

35:53

I get it. I'm gonna toss in this you could toss me out of this

35:55

if you go strongly, but I feel pretty confident about this.

35:58

This is one of the old ones. This is one of

36:00

the ancient thirty year

36:02

old. Okay. Dustin, I'm a say,

36:04

Anastasia. I mean, she's in my winter list,

36:06

but let me make a case for her. Why is she in

36:08

your weirdo? Okay. Let so

36:10

she describes herself. There's some

36:12

things I like, but there's also, like, she's like,

36:14

I'm looking for a mature man who has 488

36:16

life together. Knows what he wants. In my free time, I like to

36:19

watch the Harry Potter movies. That's from a million years.

36:21

That's what I do. That's don't

36:23

worry about that, not important. She's

36:25

a child at heart. Let me make a case for her.

36:27

She's a child at heart.

36:29

She loves animals, but is

36:32

intimidated by monkeys.

36:32

I agree. I am also intimidating. Who's not intimidating? I'm wondering if

36:35

me the other contestant who's I'm scared of

36:37

animals that are bigger than me.

36:40

And they could have, like like, they she that one could convince her that monkeys

36:42

are cool, and she could be, like, yeah. And let

36:44

me help you with elephants. I'll help you figure it

36:47

out. I just think she wrote this and she's like, this is spicy

36:49

and exotic and interesting, but I think everyone

36:52

on planet Earth is intimidated by monkeys. Like,

36:54

can you find me someone who's like, no, I go to the

36:56

I go the monkey cage. I I make a contact with them. And

36:59

I don't think they're gonna throw poop at me. Like, I'm the

37:01

alpha and that's it. Listen, TikTok will serve

37:03

me up, like, raccoon. Dog. Dog. RACUP.

37:05

Cat. Cat. Monkey. Not interested. Like, I

37:07

go out of my way to

37:08

be, like, not interested in a monkey video

37:12

at all. No. I've

37:14

seen some of the apes. I'm not interested in that at all.

37:16

But some like, like, we don't even know we don't

37:18

even know like the realm of strength like gorillas. We

37:20

don't know could break it. They could be

37:22

able to break out of Zoom

37:22

closures. We don't know that because we can't measure their strength accurately. They cut some damage.

37:24

They kill their toddlers. They kill

37:28

their babies. No. No. I don't think I don't think way. Who you

37:30

talking about? What's his name? Khurabi Khurabi

37:32

Khurabi Khurabi? He didn't.

37:34

It was the threat of

37:37

I always think of a peaceful Herame. That's what I think happened. I didn't use an

37:39

accent. How often do you think of Herame? I mean,

37:41

I think of him pretty. Pretty

37:44

frequently. Like, what would you have done in that situation? You know? I just think

37:46

he was like, I'm gonna return this kid, not murder

37:48

it. Like, you guys Oh, he didn't murder it.

37:50

I thought he murdered it. You thought

37:53

you lived in where we thought Rambay brutally murdered a child.

37:55

Which gorilla murdered

37:56

a kid? Yeah. Which gorilla

37:59

murdered a kid? Mean, it's probably a lot

38:01

of girls of of the speculative

38:04

history. That's probably happened. Yeah.

38:06

Anastasia or

38:06

Anastasia, she's felt a strong connection

38:08

to Cleopatra. Like, that's just crazy. She looks

38:10

like she looks like cleopatra. We don't know

38:12

what cleopatra looks like. We only have coins that allude to

38:14

it, and this is not a good question. She looks

38:17

like the coin of cleopatra. I just

38:19

I I think I prefer I play a lot of freeze tag. That's something

38:21

I know that's sturdy. I can build off

38:23

that. I understand

38:26

that. Just saying like, I don't I vibes Cleopatra. that mean? Listen.

38:28

I'm gonna just say, she's in my winter category

38:30

because she her

38:33

Instagram bio reads, Her bias

38:36

says digital journal of a Greek

38:38

Gemini. Okay. And Gemini are great.

38:40

And so for me, quiet

38:43

music know. And she comes from a loving Greek

38:46

family. I kinda love

38:48

that. She's done wasting comedy, and she's

38:50

thirty. So that's

38:52

an actual valid thing to

38:52

say, not when you're twenty three. So I kinda like

38:55

her. She's in

38:55

my first winter's category. When you think about people who

38:57

say, like, I love this kind of music

38:59

and it's very to me at

39:01

least obscure and like I don't decide to ask who's

39:04

who's Rubis to soul. I don't know who Rubis to soul.

39:06

Listen. I maybe she should do a shout out

39:08

because maybe Rubis is her cousin. Is he your

39:10

Greek cousin? Aaron, do you know who

39:12

Rivas's soul is? Does soul?

39:14

Do soul. Yeah. Do soul.

39:16

Sorry. Sorry. Rivas feels like a

39:18

better last name. First name doesn't

39:20

match. Like, it feels like the parents did a weird

39:22

thing, or he picked a weird name

39:24

as his musician name. You know,

39:26

it's weird if it had been DJ Rivas I'd like, I'll

39:28

check that out. I'll give that a listen. Supported

39:30

it. He's a Grammy award winner. Look

39:32

at that. Just because we don't know who they

39:34

are, doesn't mean they're not report. I'm saying I

39:36

understand that, but I'm just saying that's not a it's

39:38

like it's it feels like a pretentious thing. Right. It

39:40

feels like a Yeah. I think three contestants Mitch and

39:42

Taylor swept their buyer. Would you have preferred

39:44

that? Because that feels very basic on

39:46

cliche as someone who even who is wearing a

39:48

Taylor Swift sweatshirt while she records

39:50

this. Like, you have to you have to,

39:52

like, I don't know, You have to middle

39:54

it a little bit, you know. You don't you don't have to do

39:56

tables with it, but you don't have to do roof as a sole. There are

39:58

many windows. Wondery. Maybe

40:00

I don't like honestly honestly, I don't like gratitude, the way you're

40:02

saying that. I don't like He's great. I love

40:05

college children. He's great. How do you

40:07

feel about when you because

40:09

can listeners will only see the headshot of

40:12

Anastasia -- Yeah. -- when you see the full

40:14

body and she has a cane and she

40:15

has, like, arthritis gloves. Do you still feel like she's gonna

40:17

win the season? She's still old.

40:19

She ever came? No. I made that up. That's a joke. That's

40:21

leave that in, but that's a joke because she's thirty. That's it's

40:23

an old joke. Oh, don't mean to thirty year

40:25

old. She does look at least

40:27

she looks thirty. Not like

40:30

Holland. You could tell me

40:32

twenty six. I'm like, yeah. That makes sense. Erin, how do

40:34

you feel about one of your children's names being a

40:36

contestant on the bat not loving it.

40:38

I'll be honest. Yeah. Okay. Can

40:40

I yes Anne that? Because Ashley found

40:42

Ashley was, like, looking for a new audiobook. She's, like, blah blah.

40:44

She's, like, hey, weird situation. I found an audiobook about

40:47

Bad Boy Barber named Knox

40:49

with a basset hound, and then

40:51

a runaway bride takes refuge

40:53

with him. And she's like, is there anything you just need to tell me?

40:55

The anything I didn't know really fast, like, about

40:57

you or, like, anything you've gotten into? I was like, I don't

40:59

know what that story is going on. You know

41:01

what? I have to say about that. Good for Ashley because that

41:03

sounds like it's because of my open door stuff. I don't know. She's like, I just felt

41:05

weird listening to

41:05

this. I don't wanna listen to this. I

41:08

don't like I don't like

41:10

that. I don't like that. You don't like

41:12

characters being named after

41:14

you? Not with a basset hound and probably

41:16

gonna have open door

41:17

seats. Green light mentions a man

41:19

named NOx. We'll get to it. Is it like a

41:21

sad

41:21

story? He's not dead, so it

41:24

wasn't weird. Did he, like, kill kids

41:26

or something? And, like, at least He did murder people.

41:28

Yes, he did. Great.

41:30

Fantastic. Wow. Okay.

41:32

What that's my first winner.

41:34

Who's your first winner? My first winner, I'm gonna go, well,

41:36

let me do this. I, you know, I

41:38

would like to look at this like you

41:41

know, when you're trying to find a criminal or whatever they build

41:43

a profile of, like, who this probably is. You know? Uh-huh.

41:45

I'd like to build a profile of who a

41:48

not just on the show, a winner

41:50

for Who's gonna win Zatcha season? Right? Because that's a

41:52

very specific Who will be missus

41:55

Sellcross? That's right. Who's gonna who's gonna

41:57

be that person? I think, fundamentally, you

41:59

have to look for bios that are

42:02

simple. Okay? Yeah. You can't say weird

42:04

stuff. That's not gonna play here. No.

42:06

They have to be boring. Okay?

42:08

It has to be like, You have

42:10

to have the word soul mate, romantic,

42:14

thoughtful, stuff like that, like very

42:16

vanilla stuff. This this person has to come from a

42:18

caretaking job. Okay? Yeah. So we've got

42:20

a lot of nurses and we've got a lot of nannies

42:22

looking good to me. I feel like you're gonna definitely

42:24

do well.

42:26

And I think when you're looking at them, they have to be

42:28

country club wide. Okay? Like,

42:30

wider than Rex Ryan's teeth on NFL

42:32

game day. Just so freaking wide. What

42:35

kind of only real ones will get that reference, but it but it stands.

42:37

It but so in short, powerfully

42:40

bland. We're looking for very

42:42

powerfully bland women. People maybe

42:44

women who's had just jumped off page, but when you read

42:46

about them, there's nothing like, oh, that's really funny

42:48

or I can do something with that. Does that make sense to you?

42:50

No. It makes a and I'm looking at my list

42:52

of who I for winners. Do think they

42:54

they fit into the that

42:56

guideline real quick. Okay. So I'm gonna

42:58

my first one I'm gonna pick is a jess.

43:00

Okay. Just

43:02

because her bio is like

43:04

Mad Libs, cliche romance, bio.

43:06

Okay? Because here are all the words

43:09

she uses. And again, a hundred twenty seven words.

43:11

Sweet Soul, Dreamman, soul

43:14

mate, hopeless romantic, fairy

43:16

tale romance, Taylor Swift, love

43:20

song and puppies. These are all

43:22

things that are in her very short

43:24

paragraph. So I think this

43:26

is someone who they're definitely she's definitely gonna resonate

43:28

with Zach. And even more,

43:30

within her profile, it made

43:32

me Wondery, Do you think

43:34

the people writing or the a r writing, the

43:36

bio? Do you think they know

43:38

that you don't have you don't have to

43:40

say the word spice? Or

43:42

spicy if someone says they have Latin American

43:44

heritage. You don't have to do that. You just

43:46

let sit. You don't even sat sit there,

43:48

Latin American. You can just say, this is Jess, and she likes all the

43:50

cliche romance. But she has three

43:52

exclamation points in her bio, so it it does feel

43:54

like they do have to

43:56

say it. Yeah. They

43:58

do. They do. They do. I turned

44:00

her for my most likely to be a fan

44:02

favorite because -- Okay. -- the same reasons.

44:04

Because I think she's

44:06

twenty three And so she but she's not hot, hot, but

44:08

she's not hot. She's you gotta be

44:10

attractive to be on the show. Sure. But she's not

44:12

hot hot. But she

44:14

is her bio out of the gate says

44:16

she's a sweet soul. Yep. She's

44:18

a sweet soul. And so, obviously, people are

44:20

gonna love her. She probably doesn't have a TB

44:22

cough like Aaron.

44:23

That everyone can have. That's what you're

44:25

trying. That's right.

44:26

Her favorite date act you know, it's hard

44:28

to be a creeper if you've got a cough like that. Don't

44:30

you think? It is. That's why I'm in the

44:32

wild lecture. Cool creep. Oh, okay. Got it. Got it.

44:34

Maybe it's the Achilles heel of the invisible person.

44:36

I was like, I'm undressing. Did

44:38

you guys hear that call? I don't know.

44:41

I'm talking not alone. Her favorite date activity is leg

44:43

with puppies. I just don't know where

44:45

the sexual tension comes, so

44:48

I like That's why I think she she is going to do well.

44:50

Like, you've made her a winner. I've made her a fan

44:52

favorite because I think sometimes people are

44:54

like, don't want anyone who's too into

44:56

the sexy

44:58

sex. You know? Yeah. Like and so she and she doesn't leave the house

45:00

without what sunscreen. That's

45:02

a person who cares about her

45:05

skin health, her skin health, and she

45:07

plays Benanograms. You're exactly right. This

45:10

is a boring person, but I think people are gonna

45:12

really like her because she's not threatening it

45:14

anyway in any way. Now the problem

45:16

with the metric we're using is you can

45:18

either be you can either win the show or

45:20

you get voted off first night and we never hear a

45:22

word from It could go either

45:24

way. True. Easily. True. I don't understand biennograms. Like, biennograms

45:26

are just, like, scrabble for kids, like, for

45:28

babies. Yeah. Like, at the

45:30

aren't they, like, a little like, like a shape like a banana.

45:32

A bag. It's in a banana. Oh, there is it

45:35

shaped like a banana? It is. Yeah.

45:38

Oh, and then you do what with this. Erin, that was not very confident. I'm confident.

45:40

I will be confident. I will be confident. But when you

45:42

pull out the banana grams, what happens? Careful.

45:45

Tires, I'd say. What

45:47

do you pull up one at a time?

45:50

Ladders are ready to

45:52

work. This is not you know what I

45:54

really know this. I don't. I don't.

45:56

Because that's a nice boring game. Because I googled a

45:58

picture and it's just like scrabble, but there's a

46:00

Benanogram's bag. And I just don't understand what

46:02

the difference is. I guess

46:04

it's for kids. I guess the

46:04

word library is Travel friendly because you don't have to have the

46:07

board? I mean, is it if I

46:09

said, like, it's yeah. Because they're playing out,

46:11

like, placemats, like, a table runner. If

46:14

if I told you, like, just like kids games, like,

46:16

does that make you like her more or

46:18

less? It

46:18

well, I have no interest in her at

46:20

all, but I do think America

46:22

loves her more.

46:23

Yes. And I think that's like because I do think that's, for the most

46:26

part, represents the majority

46:28

of America. Yeah.

46:30

Yeah. I think so. I think that he's the big

46:32

bang theory kinda guy, like, the the center of

46:34

it. I'm gonna be very in dispatch.

46:38

If, like, if you build Alec play cards as a party

46:40

for Saudi, I don't know. Maybe

46:42

do more. Maybe better, you know, maybe be

46:44

better. Yeah. But I think Jess I

46:46

think and

46:47

honestly, I don't know what e commerce coordinator means. I feel like she works like e

46:49

commerce. I don't know what the coordinator Yeah.

46:51

She coordinate things being put on the Internet

46:54

to be

46:56

sold. Feels like word salad, LinkedIn, but we'll allow it

46:58

to know. It's fair. Give me another one

47:00

for you. Okay. Another one for me is

47:02

Katie. favorite about

47:04

it is that her name is Caitlyn,

47:06

and she's gone with a nickname, Katie,

47:08

that is as long as the original name.

47:11

That's very interested in that. Yes. She's twenty

47:14

seven. She falls your category of

47:16

caretakers. She's an ER

47:18

nurse. She's here's the beauty.

47:20

First off would have been like Austin,

47:22

Texas. Oh, no. She's gonna be a little more

47:24

arrogant. But no, this is

47:26

a Canadian. That's right. Well, it's transplanted. Right? So even more

47:28

caretakings. So even more

47:30

caretakings, sugar up, figure skating. That

47:32

feels like

47:34

That might feel weird to us. That's not weird to ever but every person

47:36

in figure states in Canada, everybody.

47:38

Yeah. Don't fact check that. Leave that.

47:41

That's good. I think you either figure skate or

47:43

you play hockey. I I if you're a Canadian

47:45

listening and I do know we have a beautiful

47:47

Canadian audience. Yeah. Let me know if you

47:49

have never done one of those things. Like,

47:51

if you've never put on a hockey skates or a

47:53

hockey skateboard 488 the figure skates? Honestly,

47:56

don't know. Honestly, I feel like they might be

47:58

the same. You know, like, you see, Yamaguchi,

48:00

she could just switch and to the

48:02

other. Right? No. Honestly, none of us had the

48:04

ankles to have this conversation.

48:05

No. That's true. She also said they're different. They're

48:07

different. Oh, they are different. The

48:09

blades are different. The

48:12

figure skating blade is longer than a

48:14

hockey

48:14

blade. Okay. The figure skating is

48:16

longer. Maybe that's for that triple for balance.

48:18

It is. It is. Oh, for the balance. Thank you for You're

48:21

welcome. But here's the thing. Like you

48:23

said, super bland because she loves

48:25

roller coasters. That's that's She's

48:27

not afraid to do that. Am I crazy or did Zach have,

48:29

like, a, like, an opinion on roller coasters? Because

48:32

I feel like he was on roller coaster

48:34

with one of

48:35

them, other one, maybe. Don't know if I'm

48:37

making that up or, like, mandela affecting

48:37

feel like that might be a, like, a

48:40

nod to to Zach. Well, I'm, like, here's the

48:42

only here's the only my only

48:44

head got. I think Katie will

48:46

go far except because she's kinda

48:48

blonde a brunette, which is the

48:50

perfect balance. If he has such a use, he can be like,

48:52

well, no. This is a brunette with blonde

48:54

highlights. But I did read that she is a Scorpio and that is tough

48:56

because they are the meanest of the signs and she's the

48:58

only Scorpio in this group of thirty.

49:00

What are we doing? Honestly, what are

49:02

we doing? And

49:04

I know that you hear these in this meeting, you thought you were the Venus's

49:07

ear as far as the one. It

49:18

did hear. Are

49:20

you guys are you guys happy that part

49:22

of this episode wouldn't be buzz of the cloud music.

49:24

Are you happy with that?

49:26

You feel good about that? Well, a

49:28

lot of people record recognize I respect astrological science. Not

49:31

Jiboi. Not Jiboi. I

49:36

I she

49:38

is also one of my winners. Oh, good. Okay.

49:40

Good. Everything for all the reasons that you're saying,

49:42

I think she's Canadian nursing,

49:44

that's a double a double kill

49:46

right there. I like the implied

49:50

complexity of I do like

49:52

swimming. But, you know, I do hate the idea

49:54

that sharks are underneath us. That's just

49:56

not true. What kind of swing situation is limited

49:58

and all. Where are you at? Like, are you

50:00

a deep see fish on swimming. Landlocked. You're not in the near

50:02

sharks. I just don't know about that, but I feel

50:04

like that hits that. You know, I I think as we were

50:06

talking, I realize, Zach

50:08

is like, Arie

50:10

Lewandike if everything was turned

50:12

down, like and he didn't have a thing. Like,

50:14

Ari's was like pillow lips,

50:16

like suspouch, But Zach is just like,

50:18

he's just Zach. And that's the worst That's the

50:20

worst. I think that's the worst. That's what you've ever given a

50:22

person in bad I feel a little bad. I'm gonna have

50:24

to ask forgiveness, honestly. Yeah, I think Katie, I

50:26

think she's definitely a front

50:28

runner. I've got some I'm gonna put

50:30

Greer down. How did you feel about Greer's

50:32

profile? And I'm I'm not But you're with the

50:34

runner up for my

50:36

weirdo's lift. Oh, see, I've got to give them

50:38

the forehead kisses. Okay.

50:40

That's wild.

50:42

Again, no. Again, we have to remember who's watching this show and like who is

50:44

passionate about this show. Fair. It's people

50:46

who either like to give four has four head kisses

50:48

or need four

50:50

head kisses because you're probably not watching the show hopefully unless you have

50:52

some kind of daddy issues like a romantic

50:54

problem. Right. So I feel like this plays right into

50:56

it. I had her. She kinda reminded

50:58

me as

51:00

Catherine from Sean Lowe's season? Like, I feel like she's got some personality. How

51:04

what what

51:04

what made you think she had personality? Go ahead and

51:06

read it for the for the group.

51:10

Well, careers

51:10

of older hilarious woman. That

51:13

means That's

51:16

ABC's version of. This is a

51:18

quirky lady. See, this is this means reality show Like,

51:20

Thurson, she's actually funny, but she doesn't

51:22

have one non guy joke. She has, like, three. So she

51:24

wants This is We have his

51:26

Katie Thurson.

51:27

A lot. Yeah. Except not as

51:30

sexual. Well,

51:30

to be seen to to be TBD. It's where

51:32

the Well, it depends on what she just

51:34

decides as a foreheads. I guess. You don't are are you giving

51:36

them other regimes for you? Do you not like

51:39

her because she lives at Houston? Is that what this is

51:41

about? No. Ear is the one that doesn't

51:43

like Houston. I love No. But you also don't like Houston. You don't

51:45

like No. I don't like the Woodlands. That's what I

51:47

don't like is the Woodlands. I I have

51:49

no feelings. I feel like Houston.

51:51

I I know

51:54

their baseball team cheated and their football

51:56

team had a quarterback who'd like to get his team

51:57

massaged. So I've allocated Oh

52:00

my gosh. Hey,

52:02

guys. Can we be adults? That's just a legal record.

52:04

That's not that's not me editorializing. That's just

52:06

what it is. A

52:07

clerk read that out loud at a court.

52:09

I like that she shops in flea markets. I think

52:11

that's fun. I feel like she is

52:13

again, like, too hard on the sushi's.

52:16

But I I like I I don't know

52:18

why I like the forehead kisses. I feel

52:20

like it's a

52:20

grenade. It is a grenade. And I don't know

52:22

what way it's gonna go after. She said she's a

52:24

hopeless romantic and it's a sucker for

52:27

forehead. Kisses. Yeah. Which just feel like that's

52:29

what your dad gives you. Such this woman

52:31

has, for sure, living in Houston,

52:34

yet on at least twenty four

52:36

daddy daughter dates. See, I think this is the

52:38

polar opposite of I'm intimidated by

52:40

monkeys because everyone's intimidated

52:42

by monkeys. No one's a sucker before head

52:44

kisses. So I get to we

52:46

get to die and fussy this, you know, at Jinkgoo

52:48

and put up what's up here? How do you

52:50

feel about girl saying she's never embarrassed

52:53

ever? Appears, been a healthy reaction to

52:55

some situations? Yes.

52:58

Again, triggered by always or never. So this is

53:00

a problem for me. Right. But this does seem

53:02

like someone who even when they're in

53:04

the wrong, they're just, like, double down Greer. I'm

53:06

just gonna keep going because that's, you know,

53:08

whatever. I'm never wrong or whatever. So she you

53:11

could easily talk me into a a villain

53:13

at for Greer. Yes. So I like her name. I like her name

53:15

a lot. I do like Greer. Okay. Another winner

53:17

for me is Mercedes.

53:20

Twenty four non profit case

53:22

manager from

53:22

Bloomfield, Iowa. Here's why. She

53:25

is the prettiest person in

53:27

this

53:27

entire group. Yep. She is stunning. She she makes

53:30

Tasha look like a bridge troll.

53:32

Whoa. Let's not get crazy. Let's not get

53:34

crazy. Tasha's

53:36

the prettiest Joe Joe and Teisha are the to me, the prettiest spot you're

53:38

at. I don't care if your stars in retrograde or

53:40

whatever. You can't say crazy

53:42

things. Surgery. So she

53:44

has she's like she has four jobs.

53:46

She works extremely hard to provide for

53:48

herself. She's no. I'm

53:50

I'm hesitant I've been in two

53:52

serious relationships but both ended

53:54

because she knew those men weren't her person. You're

53:56

twenty four again. Yeah. You don't even know what

53:58

you want completely. But I do

54:00

like that she's that hot, and she

54:02

is trying to make us believe that she

54:04

shows pigs at the

54:06

state fair. Okay. There's so much here because III have her

54:08

as a potential winner too because

54:10

she has all of the

54:12

kinda boring

54:14

biographical details. Right? There's there's

54:16

an interesting story. There's a narrative, Nashville,

54:18

Iowa. She's twenty four. She's

54:20

super attractive. Non profit case manager.

54:24

I can also to me, this is the highest variability.

54:26

I could see your final two. I could see your

54:28

going out night one. I don't think there's any

54:30

of the Yeah. You know, it's funny.

54:32

She's a nonprofit case manager, someone who, you know, was a social worker for

54:35

many years. Mhmm. She says she would rather order it

54:37

than cook. Let me tell you,

54:39

nonprofit case managers can't order in every night. They do not make

54:41

enough money. Like Interesting. You know what I'm saying? But I

54:43

like that theory because I too like to I

54:45

would rather order in than

54:48

cook ever. Any question, did

54:50

you have also four jobs when you were trying to

54:52

decide whether we're in a cook? Oh, no.

54:54

That's

54:54

true. Maybe her other job. No. I've only

54:56

ever No. The pigs are for show, but also for DoorDash.

54:58

Okay? Everything else is And maybe she

55:00

doesn't want to cook because the pigs get

55:02

cooked. May

55:04

be. May be. I just listen. So my sister has,

55:06

like, farm animals or whatever, you know, I think we

55:08

talked about last week. There's pigs there too. Yeah.

55:10

Until my middle daughter was like, hey, pigs

55:13

are cute. Right? And she's like, I loved them. You know, they're like

55:15

they're like, you know, chunkled at my hand when I suck into

55:17

the fence. I was like, hey, just so you know, like, if you

55:19

fall down, like, break your ankle and you're with pigs, they'll try to

55:22

eat you. They will try to eat

55:24

you. They will continue. So so

55:24

did you say that on a daddy's other day? Like, how can I

55:26

say that all day? I was like, hey.

55:30

Stop with your sushi stuff. It's ridiculous. It's so expensive and a pig will eat

55:32

you if it gets the opportunity. Oh, you're trying to grow

55:34

it fast, don't they? Right. Real world is tough.

55:36

I'm trying to keep these girls off

55:39

the bachelor. Okay? That's what I'm trying to do with

55:42

you. I want them to know

55:44

playing free seg is not a part of your

55:45

personality. Okay? It's something to talk about in a bit

55:48

of professional

55:49

way. And now a quick break for one of our

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57:31

Okay. That's all the the winners I had.

57:34

Can we talk about most likely to be a

57:36

villain? Oh, listen. There's only

57:38

one here to me.

57:40

It's Victoria. Right? Oh, I had Christina Mondrell. That's Okay.

57:42

I okay. So I have Christina Mondrell

57:44

in the category of most likely to be problematic.

57:47

So Okay. We're yeah. We're splitting hairs. Yeah. So let me

57:50

start with Victoria j. The reason I she's most

57:52

likely to be a villain is because she's

57:54

already a villain. Guys, this

57:56

woman has a million followers on TikTok --

57:58

Okay. -- when she was announced as a

58:00

contestant officially,

58:02

she posted

58:04

She posted a TikTok with an announcement of her own. And she says,

58:06

I just wanna I just wanna get one

58:08

epic photo, so my ex husband knows that

58:10

I'm having a better life without him.

58:14

And then it cuts into you, man, I feel like a woman. And then the

58:16

caption for the video reads, hard launch,

58:19

colon, I'm divorced. Tuning

58:21

into second chance above on the

58:24

bachelor. So listen, this

58:26

is a woman who knows how to edit

58:28

quick form videos. She

58:30

has a degree in dance performance. She

58:32

isn't made for the cold. And listen, when

58:34

a woman out of the gate says cold.

58:37

I get cold. I already am

58:40

like Villanar. Villanar and

58:42

Villanar and the fact that she

58:44

and she said later, she was like, no,

58:46

I've been divorced for a year. I just had not told anyone

58:48

You don't have enough people that have asked about where's your husband

58:51

for a year? Like, why not in

58:53

your content? I've never seen you and James together.

58:55

Are you guys good?

58:58

List Pleasant, she's the only contestant in this group with a blue check

59:00

on Instagram. Oh, why

59:02

didn't I know that? Yes. To

59:05

see I'm basic because we flip flops, so she's

59:07

my most problematic. I had it based

59:09

off eyebrows. She's got her far eyebrows. She's a very well,

59:12

she's a makeup artist. I always love it when a makeup

59:14

artist has Listen,

59:16

that eyebrow comes in too too too

59:18

close to the middle. Listen. There's just

59:21

a basic symmetry. Her heads

59:23

also wildly big. Again, I have a huge head.

59:25

You have a huge head. But here's where it really

59:27

kicks in. She's from Fort Worth, and let me tell you a

59:29

little bit about Fort Worth. And you

59:31

already know this. If you suggest even for a

59:34

nanosecond that a person from Fort

59:36

Worth is from Dallas --

59:37

Sure. -- they will run you over with

59:39

their Ford when it People

59:42

I don't even know what. Try

59:44

his You know, people from Fort Worth think

59:46

Fort Worth is a place culturally distinct from Dallas,

59:48

and it is not, but they have not But they

59:50

also think it's equal to and listen. Are we there

59:53

are many listeners for work. We love you and

59:55

we're so glad you listen. But you

59:57

are not a different country

59:59

than Dallas. They are

1:00:01

so much alike. They

1:00:03

both have really inexplicable roads that lead to nowhere

1:00:05

and you eventually just fall off an interstate that's not fixed.

1:00:08

That's right. You know what I mean? It's right. It's all

1:00:10

the same. Yeah.

1:00:12

We're gonna get two bad apple reviews just because of saying this controversial thing, but it's

1:00:14

true. And I'm sorry. I'm sorry you had to learn. This is weird.

1:00:16

Like, don't don't come for us. He's from Tennessee

1:00:20

and Alabama. We've got no problems. We've got a lot of issues right now,

1:00:22

honestly. So Christina Mandrel,

1:00:24

she has man, if Victoria's got

1:00:26

the villain eyebrows, Christina Mandrel has the

1:00:30

villain face. Like, she feels like a very stepmother is

1:00:32

there. She looks naked and,

1:00:34

like, she just finished your

1:00:36

man. Like, that is what she

1:00:37

looks like

1:00:37

in this photo. Honestly, don't

1:00:39

love just finish your man, but I feel like it needs to

1:00:41

say. I feel like it doesn't need to say. The band like to,

1:00:43

you know It it feels like she's hiding a a

1:00:46

poisonous apple over her

1:00:48

Pikachu, you know? It just

1:00:50

it's everything you want from her. I

1:00:52

feel she's very attractive. She's a content creator. I

1:00:54

feel like you always have to be a layer of content creators.

1:00:56

The in the battle season content creators often villains

1:00:58

or villain 488, and the battle

1:01:00

season light coaches are often villains.

1:01:04

So you have to recognize some tropes a little bit. Which then to be fair, that's so unfair because

1:01:06

you can be a life coach and be a lovely

1:01:08

person. And you can be a content creator and

1:01:11

be a very lovely person. I

1:01:13

believe this, but in this environment, you're

1:01:16

screwed. Yeah. Yeah. You are. She loves

1:01:18

CrossFit. She wants to learn how to hula

1:01:20

dance again. That's a to do list item. That's a to

1:01:22

do list

1:01:23

item. Question. She said her favorite

1:01:25

sport -- Uh-huh. -- is CrossFit.

1:01:27

Would you equate CrossFit

1:01:29

as a sport? Okay. This is I feel

1:01:31

like stakes are high here because I feel like

1:01:34

for avid

1:01:36

crossfitters

1:01:37

If I say no, they're gonna be really upset.

1:01:39

I my my problem is working out.

1:01:41

I thought it was just working out.

1:01:43

Their competitions. And my parameters always, is there

1:01:45

a competition aspect to what you're doing? And

1:01:47

if there's

1:01:47

UR sport to me. Okay. Alright.

1:01:50

See, I'm learning. I'm learning. I don't I don't know enough

1:01:52

about CrossFit song. I might be wrong. Please let me

1:01:54

know if I if I am and I won't

1:01:56

read that. But I do feel like it is a competitive sport. I do like

1:01:58

the aspect that she considers herself a grandma to

1:02:00

her daughter's pet turtle, you know. That's just so I

1:02:02

feel like you don't. Yeah. I do like that. But, yeah,

1:02:04

this is she has all the

1:02:06

makings of your season dillard. So

1:02:08

and also, she is gonna be put

1:02:10

upon because she I think based

1:02:12

on what we know, she is the mother in

1:02:14

the group. So she's a five year old. They Oh,

1:02:17

right. Right. Yeah. Right. And so I

1:02:19

find that sometimes the

1:02:22

blonde sexy content creators

1:02:24

who are moms can sometimes be

1:02:26

like, hey, I'm a mom. Yeah.

1:02:28

Actually, I believe a lot of parents

1:02:30

can be like that. They're like, I'm a mom. I'm just

1:02:32

a mom. I'm just a dad. I mean, calm down.

1:02:34

Like, you you had kids. It was your

1:02:36

child. The biggest way to distinguish yourself as

1:02:38

a higher life form than other people is

1:02:40

to say, I'm a parent. Because you've

1:02:42

been We're done a few of them. You know how many people for these

1:02:45

people. It all happens all day every day. So I have access to

1:02:47

special people right now having a baby. Like,

1:02:49

and people do it all

1:02:52

the time? Like, yeah, Christina, you are parent, but you're also in a show with us. So what does

1:02:54

that even say? Well, here's the interesting. She

1:02:56

is my favorite is she's going

1:02:58

to reveal. Oh,

1:03:00

you know, my aunt

1:03:02

is famous because her

1:03:04

aunt is Barbara Bandrel,

1:03:07

the famous country. You didn't know,

1:03:10

borrow a mandrel. And put him like that

1:03:12

and droll. The mandrels?

1:03:14

Honestly, would you guys be like

1:03:16

Arlene and Louise? Would you be happy if I, like, was very

1:03:18

well versed in who the Mandrell sisters

1:03:21

or whatever? Probably not. That's something you

1:03:23

expect me to know. You know? I'd expect you

1:03:25

guys to know certain things. You know,

1:03:27

in her Instagram, she's she has the most followers of anyone. She has

1:03:29

over forty thousand followers, and she lists

1:03:31

herself as a model slash actress

1:03:33

slash content

1:03:35

creator. Okay. Okay. So

1:03:37

that's all I need to know about this problematic and or

1:03:39

villain. Yes. Well and I think she might be

1:03:41

lovely. I hope she's lovely. But now if you're the

1:03:43

niece of a famous

1:03:45

person, it feels you're so close.

1:03:48

You've seen like fame and fortune, but

1:03:50

you don't have it for yourself. Right. She'll either

1:03:52

to me, she'll either be the person

1:03:55

who is outing someone for being ADD

1:03:58

or claiming victim status

1:04:00

for being ordered to have an ADD, which

1:04:02

again that if if Zach

1:04:04

getting cast as the bachelor was, like, fifty

1:04:06

one percent of why we're not doing

1:04:08

the show anymore, a a

1:04:10

dramatic narrative arc of last season being

1:04:13

who can out people for being ADD. That

1:04:15

was probably like twenty five percent at

1:04:17

least for me. You know? Yeah. And

1:04:19

look, as a reminder, if you don't

1:04:21

know, I am myself, an ADHD survivor, and

1:04:23

we support neurodevelopment here at the

1:04:26

PMG. However, it is not

1:04:28

the same. Revealing

1:04:30

that you have ADHD is not the same as revealing

1:04:32

like that you have, you

1:04:35

know, bipolar disorder. Sure.

1:04:38

They're just not equal. You guys, they're not

1:04:40

equal. There is a difference.

1:04:42

Unbelievable. Most likely it'd be a fan

1:04:44

favorite for

1:04:46

you. Okay. So I already mentioned mine, which was Jess

1:04:48

-- Mhmm. -- you know, the spicy sweet

1:04:50

bowl from a big Puerto Rican family. Yes.

1:04:52

So what about huge cruisers? I

1:04:55

agree. I'm I'm really, like, I'm kind of

1:04:57

pot committed to Greer. I'm, like, a pretty That's

1:05:00

a lot of Greer for one episode.

1:05:02

I know. I'm just saying, like, there's sort of dominate

1:05:04

the season, you know? And I'm I'm going all

1:05:06

in on on Greer as like dominating the

1:05:08

season. What about okay. So let me let me

1:05:10

throw another one in. What about Ariel?

1:05:13

Aerial what are what are your thoughts about Ariel? Twenty

1:05:15

eight marketing you exact. She comes

1:05:18

from here's what I think. I I could put her

1:05:20

into every category. I could make her a

1:05:22

winner. I could make her a weirdo because she's a

1:05:24

weirdo because she

1:05:26

loves to read architectural

1:05:27

digest.

1:05:28

Mhmm. Mhmm. I just think when you say that out

1:05:30

loud, it's not retesting on the bachelor. It's

1:05:32

not real. You're really reading us

1:05:34

weekly, like and you're honestly, do the three

1:05:36

of us know if their words in architectural digesters are just

1:05:39

pictures? The only thing I know about

1:05:41

architectural digester is that they do

1:05:44

videos of celebrities homes, but I've never read I've never seen a

1:05:46

magazine called that. I just think it was just pictures. Like,

1:05:48

why would you have words? Why would you have words?

1:05:50

She also she's

1:05:52

also at some point gonna say talk to you about her

1:05:55

Ukrainian family. Mhmm. But

1:05:58

again again, the conflict

1:06:00

happening in Ukraine is not

1:06:02

the same as the conflict

1:06:04

happening in the mansion during the

1:06:06

bachelor. You don't know that you haven't seen it yet. You

1:06:08

have no idea. Your idea.

1:06:10

Those feel different to me. Yeah.

1:06:12

See, Ariel or Ali.

1:06:14

I had both of them as like -- Oh.

1:06:16

-- these could be winners. These could be gone

1:06:18

without any FaceTime or these like, it's

1:06:20

just high upside for both of them. Ali is

1:06:22

the twenty six year old, like, she's

1:06:24

cute. Thanks. Super cute. She's

1:06:27

from Atlanta. She's a cheerleader for

1:06:29

the braze, which I didn't even know was a thing.

1:06:31

Yeah. Facebook team should not cheerleaders. I'm

1:06:34

sorry. No. She has a golden doodle named Texas. What part of

1:06:36

that? Don't want that to work.

1:06:38

Honestly, don't look that anymore. I don't like that. I can see Zach

1:06:40

being, like, whoa. Like, galaxy brain moment.

1:06:42

She's the one loves Michelinie,

1:06:44

but not broccoli. She loved it, which

1:06:46

is insane because broccoli is just like more

1:06:48

stem. Right? If if if you look

1:06:50

at broccoli, And you were like, if I

1:06:52

three wishes Genie, one would be to have more

1:06:54

STEM on my broccoli. Isn't the best type of

1:06:56

leaves? Not I think so. STEM is not

1:06:58

good. I don't want He's also that my worry, the

1:07:00

reason I didn't really put Ali into a group is

1:07:02

because I'm very concerned about the fact that

1:07:04

she is so proud to be a collector of

1:07:06

porcelain dolls. See, that's a fake

1:07:08

more worried that she said she

1:07:10

went to the same high school as

1:07:12

Beyoncé.

1:07:12

Like, years

1:07:14

differently. You know, that's not the same.

1:07:16

Right. Yeah. Beyonce

1:07:17

was long graduated. You what

1:07:20

would you have you think that was

1:07:22

a that was a magnet

1:07:24

school? No. Yeah. Like, what are you talking about? I'm

1:07:26

like, I've been to the same place William to come to

1:07:28

Sherman was. We both been in

1:07:30

Atlanta, but, like, just very different timelines. No. I

1:07:32

do I do recognize that when you leave

1:07:34

Texas, but all you do is talk about Texas,

1:07:36

even if you don't I'm like, I always think

1:07:38

if you love it so much, why are you living

1:07:40

there? Oh, did she leave Texas? I just,

1:07:42

like, passed my I'm ignoring

1:07:44

that. She went to school in Houston. She went to

1:07:46

Beyonce high school. Oh, that's right. That's right.

1:07:48

That's right. By the way, did Beyonce graduate

1:07:50

from high school? Like, did she go to class her

1:07:52

senior year? Wow.

1:07:52

She didn't Beyonce his education

1:07:54

record. No. I just think no. Was what I am saying is

1:07:56

she was worth a hundred million dollars at sixteen. I

1:07:58

just don't think she's sold in I don't

1:08:00

think she was. I

1:08:02

just don't think she was. All the

1:08:04

great ones don't graduate, you know? All the great ones don't graduate. That's fair. That's fair.

1:08:06

Basically. Yeah. So I think we're on

1:08:08

the same page there. Most likely to

1:08:10

not be her reported age, did

1:08:13

you did you mention Holland already for No. III agree at Holland, but actually it's

1:08:15

the because I really think you

1:08:19

could split it. And be, like, either of

1:08:21

the two white women from Florida who have blonde hair. Okay? And so

1:08:23

the other

1:08:26

one is I'm gonna give it to Katherine. Katherine,

1:08:28

who was twenty six, a

1:08:30

registered nurse from Tampa. Tampa

1:08:33

is the first clue. That she's

1:08:35

probably older than she looks. Sure. No offense

1:08:37

to the tamponians. At Berndhamians, we

1:08:40

aged horrid

1:08:43

fast. Okay? First of all, her bio starts with she's a vibrant

1:08:45

go getter. That means her trying to convince

1:08:47

us that she can get

1:08:49

out of bed quickly. Like, she's vibrant. It

1:08:51

also says that people tell Katherine that

1:08:54

she looks like, Julia Roberts.

1:08:56

Yes. Scroll

1:08:58

up to her picture. And she's not she doesn't look like Julia Robertson.

1:08:59

She does look like Julia Robertson. I think

1:09:02

it's just that she does look fifty three

1:09:04

years old. I've been out. She

1:09:06

looks like the girl from the

1:09:08

promo post her from smile, you

1:09:10

know, like more like Dalla. Oh, she does. She does. Doesn't look like Julie Roberts. And then it Katherine says

1:09:12

she could live

1:09:15

off breakfast pastries. Which are basically

1:09:17

just soft foods that elderly people have to eat. I mean, it's better than oysters, you know. So So

1:09:19

it is better, but she when I

1:09:22

look at her, I think that is

1:09:24

so many

1:09:26

teeth. And I don't think I think

1:09:28

those are dentures. I don't think those are

1:09:30

real. Howard Bauchner: I had Madison,

1:09:33

you know, I

1:09:36

feel like Twenty six. And well, here's

1:09:38

the thing. She does not she says she's twenty six. She's from North Dakota. She's

1:09:40

the one with scissors

1:09:43

as a package

1:09:44

deal. There's no way she's twenty six. She's fifty six if

1:09:46

she's thirty six. You know? Like, there there's just no way. But I understand North Dakota, the wind and

1:09:48

the cold might age

1:09:51

you a little faster.

1:09:52

I just feel like

1:09:53

she's had some injections done. And I'm not saying, listen, I've

1:09:55

had injections done. And do you

1:09:58

every four to six months? Sure. But I her injections

1:10:00

feel too early for it to act forty

1:10:02

seven. She's twenty six. I could be her

1:10:04

mother. Why is she also

1:10:06

having injections along with me? It's

1:10:09

too much. I also wanna put in

1:10:11

Olivia m. Erin, when you look up Olivia m from the bachelor contestant,

1:10:15

the the Bios, because Olivia m, she's

1:10:18

twenty five. She's a stylist from Cincinnati, Ohio. And she describes herself as a city slicker

1:10:20

now.

1:10:23

Is is that is that the Cincinnati part or is that the city part? The city is

1:10:25

great. The city is great. I guess, I don't know.

1:10:28

But Chicago

1:10:30

That's how in Chile is great. She the problem is, she looks like

1:10:32

stay with me on this. She looks like

1:10:34

a Dove Cameron was mother gothole in

1:10:38

the tangled movie. But like she forgot to sing the flower, Gleaming Glove Song for

1:10:40

a few days. She's like, oh, man. Like, I don't know

1:10:42

what's going on here. I forgot to, like, replenish the

1:10:44

the skin and everything. It's

1:10:46

just not a good look. Even like her

1:10:48

Instagram looks a lot better than her it's just not really bad picture. It

1:10:50

might be the worst picture of all the women. It is her hair seems flat, and I don't think

1:10:53

her hair is flat, and she's coming

1:10:55

in at a very boney,

1:10:57

Angular -- Yeah. -- approach to the camera. Yeah. She's a black swan ballet. So If

1:10:59

she's telling me

1:11:03

she loves carbs, No. No. You

1:11:05

don't. Live. It's live. Yeah. I like that her special talent is sound like her dolphin.

1:11:07

That's a fun. That's a

1:11:08

fun. You're amazing. You

1:11:11

sound like a

1:11:12

dolphin. I'd sometimes have a

1:11:14

hole in the top of my mouth that allows Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. Wait. How are you? You're gonna have to go back to that one. You're

1:11:16

gonna have

1:11:16

to go back to that one. Sometimes you have

1:11:18

a hole. don't know. I think sometimes

1:11:23

it gets covered with, like, spit and mucus. You know, a hole

1:11:25

still a hole even if spits in it.

1:11:27

I don't know why. Erin, you are

1:11:29

you

1:11:30

are a nesting doll of mysteries,

1:11:32

honestly. The the the

1:11:34

casualty that you reveal that sometimes you have a hole in your mouth. That's why she was asking me.

1:11:36

Why would why

1:11:39

would she ask? Me. Right. It's

1:11:42

true. It's a very targeted question. So but I I like that aspect of of Alembia m. Okay.

1:11:44

Most likely become the

1:11:47

next bachelorette, Jamie. Okay.

1:11:50

I'm gonna make a case for Charity. Charity,

1:11:52

who's twenty six? She's a child and family

1:11:54

therapist from Columbus George. I like that she's

1:11:56

not from the big city, but she's not

1:11:58

from a small town. So it's got that balancing act. I like

1:12:00

that she's in a very caring thing.

1:12:02

Her her bio is classically boring, which

1:12:05

is really what will end up working in her favor.

1:12:07

Mhmm. She's the total package. I think she's very

1:12:09

pretty. I think she has a gorgeous

1:12:12

smile. Her all time

1:12:14

favorite movie is a notebook

1:12:16

that's classic matchlorite choice. She wants to move

1:12:18

to Walt Disney World one day. ABC loves

1:12:20

a mention of another brand.

1:12:22

That's true. That's true. Now And

1:12:25

then she throws a mean ax. And I don't know if that's a euphemism, maybe it is. I don't

1:12:28

know what

1:12:31

it means. But it makes her,

1:12:33

like, oh, maybe there is some sexiness under there. And so I think she could be an excellent

1:12:35

choice for Tourette. Plus, CDC

1:12:39

will be, like, oh, wait. We

1:12:41

went so white. We need to try something different this next time. Yeah. Doctor Jamey, I'll recap it

1:12:44

anymore. Maybe we need to diverse it up

1:12:46

a little bit. We're quick in it, but

1:12:48

we're not. Listen

1:12:50

APC. No. We're not coming back. Again, I wonder,

1:12:52

like, there's a little bit of a rubric we gotta follow

1:12:54

here with next batch of red, so they

1:12:57

have to be primarily cute versus hot. Okay? That has

1:12:59

to be the fundamental thing. So, like, the hot it

1:13:01

it can even be, like, fifty one cute, forty

1:13:03

nine hot, but

1:13:06

it's gotta be primarily cute. Michelle, probably a good

1:13:08

example that she's, like, sixty five thirty five

1:13:10

cute to hot. Yeah. Katie Thurston was

1:13:12

an example. She

1:13:15

was ninety five just funny, zero nothing, you know. So

1:13:17

that was kinda weird. For that clear shot. Take show, she was the other

1:13:19

exception. She was two percent

1:13:22

cute, ninety eight percent hot.

1:13:24

Clear Crowley was a zero percent queue, zero percent hot. So that was it

1:13:26

was just a pandemic. We're all trying to make our way. Why that show ended after three episodes. That's

1:13:29

the Right. Yes. But they

1:13:31

can't be the front runner. They

1:13:34

had to be reliably, like, in the top five. It

1:13:36

has been easily understood, life narrative,

1:13:38

signature show, trauma. You know,

1:13:41

something happened, like, Gabby and other one were

1:13:43

left for dead on a staircase in, like, Scandinavia, stuff like that. Like, there needs to be something to call back

1:13:45

to you. And I've seen the

1:13:47

preview of Zach just season.

1:13:50

There is a little there are some tears. There's

1:13:53

some crying. There's some screaming at

1:13:55

people. So maybe that maybe

1:13:57

that's what know, maybe Charity will be involved in

1:13:59

some of that. I like Charity. I'm gonna also toss Mercedes in the mix because I feel like she's gonna be

1:14:02

She's a good candidate.

1:14:04

No. So good. Yeah. So

1:14:06

but I think the the the pigs will queue her down a little bit, you know, and be, like, sure. Sure. Sure. Sure. Deal with

1:14:08

that. Yeah. So I feel

1:14:11

pretty comfortable with that. I've

1:14:14

before we go to our lights, I've got

1:14:17

there's some bio one liners. We

1:14:19

didn't cover kinda just like last time

1:14:21

really quick. Absolutely. Back we didn't

1:14:23

talk about Becca. Becca, her bio versus her Instagram, is

1:14:25

a different person. As a completely different person. A

1:14:28

hundred percent

1:14:30

different person. Because Becca, her bio looks like if Kathy and Jamie

1:14:32

did porn before she got a big break. Yes.

1:14:34

And then her Instagram looks like maybe one

1:14:37

of the most attractive people to ever walk to

1:14:39

planet Earth. Know she's a nursing student in Burbank. Like, it's like she's set

1:14:41

to be a star. That's not true. Bailey wants

1:14:43

to be a professional skydiver. It's not

1:14:45

a real thing. I don't know

1:14:47

what that is. Kara is not a

1:14:50

good cook, but she's great at, quote, assembling meals. Which what? Same. Thank you.

1:14:52

Same. While

1:14:56

Davia's life hasn't always been easy dot dot

1:14:58

dot, there's that trauma narrative we're gonna need there. Victoria doesn't

1:15:02

need blue tortilla chips. We talked about the Olivia City Slaker

1:15:04

in Cincinnati, and then

1:15:06

Eleka, I think, is

1:15:09

a house pronounce her name.

1:15:11

Yeah. She's ready to find the one. And while her parents marriage was arranged, they

1:15:13

are supportive of her journey to find love and

1:15:15

happiness in her own way. I'm

1:15:17

sorry. When she shared

1:15:19

her love language, she said

1:15:21

it was massage. And I was like, welcome to Erin on the

1:15:23

back. It's a part of you that's

1:15:26

a little sad,

1:15:27

we're not recapping this. No.

1:15:29

Zero

1:15:29

percent. Yeah. Neither. Neither. Nine percent. You know what I am? Hundred percent hot? Zero percent

1:15:32

hot. Wait.

1:15:35

Uh-huh. That meant is weird.

1:15:36

No. You got it. You got it. It's a

1:15:38

-- Yeah. -- it's a sliding scale. Well, if you have us opinions on our thoughts and opinions

1:15:41

on these bachelor contestants, please let us know

1:15:43

in our next human comp slash

1:15:45

four eighty eight. Alright, Jamie. You do some lights?

1:15:47

Let's do some lights. Alright. What is

1:15:49

your red light

1:15:52

this week? Okay. It's time

1:15:54

for rapid rides. Here we go. Number one, Twitter has revoked access for third party apps, which

1:15:56

means there are millions of

1:15:58

us who have used other apps.

1:16:01

For a decade to read and tweet, and now we're expected to use the native Twitter app. And the red light

1:16:03

is not actually Twitter or Elon Musk. It's to those

1:16:06

of you who've been using the native Twitter

1:16:08

app

1:16:11

for a decade, which of your

1:16:12

stepads hurt you? That this

1:16:14

app is horrific. It's horrific. Second,

1:16:18

Amanda Sifred. Amanda Sifred who is making the

1:16:20

award circuit because she want she's waiting

1:16:22

for the dropout as she should. That was

1:16:24

a green light of mine. She was at

1:16:26

the critics choice awards and she said she

1:16:28

was wearing an old dress from Dior.

1:16:31

Okay? Okay. And so it was frail. Listen.

1:16:33

As the night went on, her hair came down,

1:16:35

like her hair was up on the red carpet. Her hair

1:16:37

is down because I'm I found out later, she's

1:16:39

trying to cover her aerials

1:16:41

because her dress has broken. Okay. And then when she goes on

1:16:43

stage to an acceptance award, she's to put on

1:16:45

a jacket because the top of the dress is

1:16:48

now no longer connected.

1:16:50

All the other parts of the top of the dress. Now,

1:16:52

the red light is actually that she said

1:16:54

it was old, that dress was made in

1:16:56

twenty twenty. And I do know that that does

1:16:58

seem like centuries, Amanda. Centuries have passed since twenty twenty. Maybe by it

1:17:01

was like a metaphor of Theranos of, like, it's supposed to

1:17:03

work and then it just never actually

1:17:05

works in full. Well, it's not old. Just poorly made. Also, plus red light because

1:17:08

on the red carpet, she revealed that

1:17:10

she and Evan Rachel going

1:17:13

to be in an adaptation of Thelma and Louise.

1:17:16

How do you feel? Oh, I hate it

1:17:18

so much. So much. What if I told

1:17:20

you,

1:17:22

it's a musical adaptation. Hate it even more. Couldn't didn't know there was a lot more hard to

1:17:24

hate it more. Okay. So do you think it'll be a

1:17:26

different

1:17:26

song for the attempted rape and the murder, or

1:17:30

will that be the same song? Same song. It'll be a

1:17:31

good bridge. Good bridge. Right. Right. Okay. Third

1:17:33

red light. DFW. Here's the thing. Let's

1:17:36

talk about this airport real

1:17:38

quick. DFW. You feel like an

1:17:40

airport from the Walking Dead. Mhmm.

1:17:42

There are no escalators that work. No no elevators. I don't know

1:17:45

how anyone who

1:17:48

is disabled gets through

1:17:50

your airport. Everything is dark. Oddly, the terminals are so narrow that the gate is

1:17:53

inside a

1:17:56

TGI Friday. Why is it like

1:17:58

that? And I know some of you are gonna message and go, why don't you fly to love? Yeah. Well, first of all, Delta does not fly

1:18:00

direct from Birmingham, and

1:18:03

I'm not cut out. For

1:18:06

the survival of the fittest that is flying southwest.

1:18:08

I can't do that. Alright? And final

1:18:10

final red light. Always red light to

1:18:12

Austin Butler. You know, he's on the

1:18:14

ward circuit for the Elvis Movie. But here's the

1:18:17

red light. He has still not still

1:18:19

not stopped using that Elvis

1:18:19

voice, Austin. 488

1:18:22

know you

1:18:23

listen. You are not from the deep south. You were born

1:18:25

and raised in Anaheim, California. You

1:18:27

have the same accent as

1:18:31

Zach Shawcross. So may I suggest

1:18:33

that you get cast in a biopic

1:18:35

about Zach Shawcross so that you

1:18:37

can reset that voice to factory

1:18:39

settings. I don't know why it's like that. I don't I don't know why it's like that. I would

1:18:41

not watch the movie. Jason talked about the sun over inner

1:18:43

tears. And what we came up

1:18:45

with, if you would just say,

1:18:48

hey, guys, gonna sound like I will stress my life because

1:18:50

it feels fun and I kinda like that choice and I just need everybody to be okay with that, that would be acceptable to

1:18:52

me. Aaron, have you heard us in

1:18:54

voice? Yeah.

1:18:54

How do you feel about it?

1:18:57

Well, I mean, he's not he just sounds like Elvis. I think he's

1:18:59

doing a great job, sounding like Elvis. You think he should always like Elvis? Well,

1:19:01

I'm

1:19:02

just I think it

1:19:05

just might be, like, a big kinda in program three energy. Oh, listen.

1:19:07

You know what? Nasha Boyd, your body your choice, your voice your

1:19:07

choice. So it sound like whoever you

1:19:10

want something. It is an inorganic thing.

1:19:12

It because

1:19:14

I know for a fact that Aaron has

1:19:16

probably she had diabetes in elementary school, which

1:19:18

she did not

1:19:19

have. She just told people she had what

1:19:21

were in the what were your

1:19:23

pills that you took for

1:19:24

your diabetes? To red, tick tags. Right. Exactly. And that's not what

1:19:26

diabetics do. They don't do that. They take injections. Anyway,

1:19:30

did you have a fake voice? Maybe,

1:19:32

like, a couple times when we went to Branson,

1:19:34

Missouri and, like, you

1:19:35

know, you wanted to put on a fake accent

1:19:37

for the other twelve year old boys in

1:19:39

the hot tub. Yeah. That's just that's just that's just that's

1:19:41

just live action role plays. Listen,

1:19:42

I had a friend who we went to look at a house that we could not afford one time many

1:19:44

years ago, and he decided to have a

1:19:47

there are things involved in that. Sent.

1:19:50

He sounded like the governor of Alabama. Yeah.

1:19:52

And he went in and he was like,

1:19:54

my and I'm gonna name him. He

1:19:56

gets my name is Patrick Galloway, and

1:19:58

my friend's called me Rick. And this Rick

1:20:00

is short for Patrick. And then at

1:20:02

the end, what happened was they asked

1:20:04

him the real estate agent asked

1:20:06

him what he did. He said, I'm

1:20:08

assistant to the governor of Georgia. And then they said, oh, I knew the

1:20:10

chief of staff. I'm gonna let him know that I know you. And we

1:20:13

were like he's like, we

1:20:15

have to go, Jay, and

1:20:17

we need to get to dinner. We have a

1:20:20

revelation. Rick, sure for Patrick, why would you be moving out of

1:20:22

bed? I was, like, Rick. Rick. Rick. Yeah. We gotta go.

1:20:24

Rick. Okay.

1:20:26

What's your red light? My

1:20:28

red light is modern satanism.

1:20:31

Okay? They sold out. It's

1:20:33

very it's very discouraging there's a

1:20:35

I came across an article on MSN by

1:20:37

way of the telegraph, and

1:20:40

it says deep

1:20:42

dive on young people it's the headline is young people

1:20:44

sacrificed belief in God on ultra sadism. I was like, well,

1:20:46

I have to click that. I have to understand what's

1:20:48

going on. Yeah. And, like, so here's the lead. The

1:20:51

Macawba cult ritual's virgin sacrifices, chaoist's of blood and

1:20:53

belief in actual devil or thing of the past,

1:20:55

satanism is learning increasing numbers of young

1:20:57

people, disillusionment, outdated, and dogmatic

1:20:59

traditional religious religions. To joint fold

1:21:01

by offering an alternative stuffy traditional fates, I get pivoting and I

1:21:04

get zigging while

1:21:07

everybody else's zagging but I feel like

1:21:09

they're losing the core of who they are. And I interviewed this guy, Chapman Leopold, a thirty two year old

1:21:11

London based undertaker, who co runs

1:21:14

the global order of saying

1:21:16

UK, And he

1:21:18

said he's seen a two hundred percent increase in membership

1:21:20

over the last five years. Nobody factored that. Like, that he just says

1:21:22

that and they're accepting that, and that's incredible to me.

1:21:26

But he says satanism is an option

1:21:28

for people who don't wanna

1:21:30

be identified as dogmatic religions

1:21:33

and don't like oppressive previous

1:21:35

religions. And I just Part of me is

1:21:37

like, you know, I didn't like

1:21:39

modern satanism, but I respect it.

1:21:41

They're like, Yo, here's what we're

1:21:43

about. Number one. Crazy

1:21:46

masks. Number two, Satan. Number three, some kind of sacrifice. Okay? We're

1:21:48

hard. We do that. That's what

1:21:50

we're about. Do oh, this is

1:21:55

state this need sacrifice? Is that the requirement? Honestly, I don't know. I'm not

1:21:57

too familiar with it, but I feel like the vibe. Right? It

1:21:59

feels like the vibe with it. But he does the

1:22:01

the leopold guy. He says, with our rituals, there's

1:22:03

never any murder, there's every sacrifice.

1:22:05

There's every blood rights to Satan. We don't worship the devil. We don't cast magical spells. I'm sorry. What are

1:22:08

you even? Like, we

1:22:10

If you're not if you're

1:22:12

if you why are you why are you called

1:22:15

the Satanists if you're not into the devil? That's what but he said it's contra he says stereotypes. Only a

1:22:17

French minority of Satan is

1:22:19

actually worship Satan. Instead,

1:22:21

it's more metaphorical. I was just like, is anything true anymore? It's true even It's true for example. It's

1:22:23

not many, but, like, some. You

1:22:26

know, it's like they're not

1:22:29

all of them. Yeah. It's just like the bad, like, group over

1:22:31

here. But he says he's basically like, look, Satanists. We just like that fun together and do rituals in the forest.

1:22:33

And, like, if that's what you're about, then you

1:22:35

should join the Satanists. And

1:22:39

I just I think maybe short term, you're gonna get some people.

1:22:41

You're gonna get some, like, young people who are like, that

1:22:43

sounds cool. But I think long term, you've lost, like,

1:22:45

the core of who you are. Well, how

1:22:47

is his satanism different? Than, like,

1:22:49

going to a national park. I can't Well, you know, because there's, like, a there's

1:22:51

an option to worship Satan -- Yeah. --

1:22:54

if you want to, but you

1:22:56

don't have to. It's not put upon people to

1:22:58

do that. So You're red biting being this version of Satan's like

1:23:02

you want only true Satan's Are you all Satanism? by date? You

1:23:04

know, in I think it was unbreakable

1:23:06

when Samuel Jackson was just like, I

1:23:10

like I needed, like, an episode and all the adversaries like just kinda

1:23:12

suck. So I have to build up Bruce Willis and

1:23:14

survive a train wreck so I can have a worthy

1:23:16

adversary. Yeah. I'd

1:23:19

feel like, you know, state the satanism was like,

1:23:21

you know, like a good adversary. And now they're just like Now it

1:23:23

sounds like an emblem. It's not even that impressive. We're just like a

1:23:25

good book club. We're just gonna get, like, get to go and

1:23:27

chat, have some wine, you know, just

1:23:29

like it's it's the end of the year, I

1:23:31

guess. So red light to them. Watch your green light this week. Okay. My green light

1:23:34

this week is a book. It's called everyone in my family has killed someone by

1:23:36

Benjamin, Steven

1:23:39

said, y'all this book got recommended to me about Publishers Weekly, like,

1:23:41

they were right they were like, this is fantastic.

1:23:43

I was like, okay. I'm gonna try it.

1:23:45

If Agatha Christie was around today, she

1:23:47

would have written book.

1:23:49

This book is so good. Ernie is our main character. He's also the narrator. He's

1:23:51

a crime fiction fan. So the

1:23:55

reason that not comes up in the book

1:23:57

is because at the top he does NOx's rules for writing a a

1:23:59

crime fiction novel. I'm like you can't reveal this too

1:24:02

soon. It's like you can't say this too

1:24:04

soon. It

1:24:06

was very fascinating. Mhmm. And but you're so

1:24:09

Ernie, our guy, he's headed to the

1:24:11

mountains for a family reunion,

1:24:13

which is awkward because he routed others rather than the

1:24:15

police three years earlier for murder. And this

1:24:17

reunion takes place the weekend of that

1:24:20

brother's release from prison. And then

1:24:22

there's a dead body that appears at the chate. And listen, the first two lines of this book are everyone in my killed

1:24:24

someone. Some of us, the high

1:24:26

achievers, have killed more than one.

1:24:30

And weirdly enough in the book, I was

1:24:32

reading it on Kindle. I'd be curious what it's

1:24:35

like in the actual physical book

1:24:37

is he references things that happened in the future of

1:24:39

the book, and he hyperlinks it so you could go straight to that page. He's like, you my my brother and I've

1:24:41

only been in one fight. It

1:24:43

hasn't happened yet. You'll

1:24:46

see it if you go here. And he like, you click and

1:24:48

you can go forward. He talks to you

1:24:50

as if he's like, he is

1:24:53

saying like, oh, no. I'm not always gonna be

1:24:55

honest you. Unreliable narrator are very in vogue right

1:24:57

now, but I promise I'm a reliable

1:24:59

narrator. And the things that get revealed,

1:25:01

you they were in plain sight

1:25:04

the whole and it was so

1:25:06

so very good. It kept me on kept me on the edge of my seat. I really loved it. That's right. I think it's an excellent

1:25:12

excellent book. Okay. Okay. Mine is

1:25:14

a it's a true crime podcast series, and it's calledgone

1:25:18

south. It has two really, really good seasons. I over

1:25:20

the Christmas break, and

1:25:22

both revolve around analyzing

1:25:25

and covering unsolved murders in the

1:25:27

south. The first season, covers the murder of an assistant

1:25:29

district attorney in Marcus Kuhn outside of

1:25:32

New Orleans. And it

1:25:34

does that cool thing of

1:25:37

It doesn't feel like it's three episodes too long. It feels like it's pretty tight. And at the end of every episode,

1:25:39

it's kinda like, oh, I know what happened. And then the beginning of the

1:25:41

next one is like, oh, that didn't happen. That definitely

1:25:44

didn't happen. It

1:25:47

keeps you kinda on your toes. And second season I think the second season

1:25:49

covers the murder of a judge in his politician

1:25:52

Wyatt Fence

1:25:54

and Margaret Sherry in Biloxi, Mississippi. And not only

1:25:57

that, it talks about the involvement

1:25:59

allegedly of the Dixie

1:26:02

mafia, which I'm fascinated

1:26:04

by. And these

1:26:07

are two seasons

1:26:09

done. Really well, well researched, well interviewed. I love the pacing. It's

1:26:11

really good. There's a lot of texture, but there's

1:26:13

a lot of good

1:26:16

topical information. And

1:26:18

there is an infinite supply of southern

1:26:20

draws throughout this

1:26:21

series. So if you like to say the

1:26:23

accent,

1:26:23

you're gonna get a lot of Patrick

1:26:26

who goes by Rick the assistant to the governor of Georgia. Split

1:26:28

off of them for the sateness when

1:26:30

they were a murderer. Not heard

1:26:34

about Michael Koon and the sateness when they became lessor

1:26:36

than. You know what I mean? So it's

1:26:38

just really, really

1:26:39

good, quick, easy listens, both

1:26:41

seasons, so highly

1:26:43

recommend. Yeah. Okay. That's gonna do for this episode of

1:26:45

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it was. Jamie, this is just a pack of s'mores, chapstick. Okay. But interestingly enough, it's

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graham cracker. There's one marshmallow and there's one

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Yeah. So at

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first was John who