0:00

Are you let me keep these? I feel better? Thank you? Are

0:04

you sure? God? Damn? I love you man. Thanks, Yeah,

0:07

you're right. Welcome to the Afterparty podcast. We're talking about Zyrtec,

0:11

which my man Pat brought some inform and it actually didn't make me fall asleep

0:15

on the air and my eyes aren't itching right now. So thanks, buddy,

0:18

appreciate you, buddy boy, Buddy boy, and thanks to Haven Poker.

0:22

Yeah, Haven Poker. Let me go. Man. I got roundly

0:25

criticized on the Twitter machine for not accepting some dude's friendship, and I am

0:28

really trying to keep up with everybody, but I can't, so I'll get

0:32

to you eventually. I apologize, but I'm too busy beating people's asses on

0:36

Haven Poker to accept all the friend request. H A Y v I N.

0:40

Haven Poker downloaded off the app store. It's absolutely free. You can

0:43

play heads up poker against your friends, your co workers, your neighbors,

0:46

and random enemies. Enemies maybe a power Morning Show members, ex lovers love

0:52

Haven Poker. Yeah, everybody downloaded. It's absolutely free. It's super fun

0:55

and then you enter the promo code power Trip. In the first forty eight

0:59

hours, you double your initial bankroll. So if you're like, hey,

1:02

that sounds like a fun game, I should play that, definitely do that,

1:04

and then definitely enter the promo code power Trip. You can click on

1:07

it under the settings. Thing is his enter codes power Trip gets you a

1:11

double initial bankroll. It's super fun. It's a fun game. It's a

1:14

good time killer. I'm killing and I'm playing Pat right now. He's sitting

1:17

across me right now. And you just folded. Well, that's a p

1:22

word. I had a jacket, a queen. I was gonna kick your

1:26

ass in that queen had a jacket queen. That was what we called Rosie

1:30

back in the day, poor ros Yeah, so now I can't say what

1:34

I got. You just turned two pair? Jam it yep at the pot?

1:38

Yep? Are you? What are you jamming it in? Let's see

1:42

if oh, did you just go all in? Well, god damn it.

1:45

Then I'm pa you told me? I know, yeah right, I

1:49

didn't want that. Oh but look at what I got, bitch anyway,

1:52

Hey you got three? It's son of Ahaven bitch poker. Whoa still?

2:00

Oh we are? I thought we went all in? Oh that's right,

2:04

I did. I had two pairs and he still beat me. Happens.

2:09

Yeahs had two pairs of tits. You do have some nice Yeah, I

2:14

apologize. I'm working on it though. Summertime you played, you played password

2:16

once right and one? Did you not? I played one time? And

2:19

that's it. How come? Howcome as a one and old competitor you had

2:23

no interest in trying to get into the tournament or you were not asked? Um? He asked me and I did not respond at a timely manner and

2:29

it was too late by the time I did. Yeah, so it's completely on me and uh, but to be honest with you, that's a terrible

2:35

tough time and day for me, just like it is for everybody, but

2:37

especially this time of year, it's a terrible tough time and day for me. And like, I gotta go to as soon as we're done with this,

2:42

I'm driving to Saint Cloud today to rehearse for four hours to get ready

2:45

for the next run. Who were your partners with when you won? Was

2:49

it creasl Ross the glazering you the glazer? The glazer? Did We didn't

2:55

use that on him today? No, No, he was too busy to

2:58

talking about sucking barbs toe. He did see that. Yeah, And then

3:01

did he not pat somebody on the ass? Yeah? When he hugged Carly

3:07

gave her an ass pad not see it? It was a low hand.

3:10

Whoa, Well, you're gonna be called into the courthouse, your dad is,

3:15

Oh, yeah, your dad is getting called into the courthouse. How often did your dad go to the courthouse when he's not saddling for Mark Parrish?

3:24

Mark Parrish, Zacho, I need an honest, honest answer, pressure.

3:29

How many times in your hotel room did you frank it? He was

3:34

too sad last night? Now, don't even answer, true, Zach.

3:38

The fact which that you didn't say zero one immediately is terrifying all of us

3:43

that you actually were like, God, how many was it? I lost

3:46

count after it was a baker's dozen't God? You masturbade a lot you do

3:50

and that's cool, man, I'm cool. Be you man, Yeah,

3:52

bu you got be you you got bo your bitch. Oh, I didn't

3:55

say that you were thinking it. Ask me how many times I had yesterday

4:00

gown one? You beat me because you have an ace? How many times

4:04

yesterday? How did you masturbate um man? Once? How many times masturbate

4:13

in the hotel beat me. I don't know, it's probably four or five.

4:17

Maybe, God, well, he's young, guys, like, you

4:21

know, he's young, man. You beat my ass, dude, I

4:27

got my ma ass beat there just now, four or five. Listen,

4:31

here's the situation, guys. When I was young, I used to beat

4:35

my meat daily all the time. How many times in a day? What

4:39

the what's the highest When you were I don't know. I wasn't keeping a

4:42

fucking diary. Yeah you were. You were still sad? I was,

4:46

Yeah, No, I was. I was horny. What's the fastest between

4:49

sessions? He's perverted? Yeah, you're being pedross. Yeah, honestly,

4:55

Zach, that was an extremely personal question. I don't really know the answer,

4:58

though, I'm being honest with you. I don't the answer. I don't remember saying to myself. I got to give it another couple of minutes

5:03

here. Yeah, yeah, I got it done in twelve when I was

5:08

younger. You you did it twelve times in one day? No, I

5:14

did it twelve minutes apart. Oh okay, um, yeah, you know,

5:17

I don't know. Um all in, I'm sorry, Zack. Yes,

5:26

Saucey's playing poker right now. He just won. He turned in did

5:29

you you should have challenged people get pissed at me because I put it too

5:32

much money in. But I don't want to mess around. Yeah, you

5:34

get bored and then fire. I don't want to mess around. Well then

5:38

no, they have to adjust, right, It's like you justus. You're

5:40

playing. If you're at a table with a bad blackjack player and you're like,

5:44

I don't like that that guy's on third base, well then go find

5:46

another table. Like I has every right to bet, however he wants his money. Pull your pants up, slut right, pull your pants up,

5:51

slot and go to a different table. That's right, that's right. If

5:54

you're playing at a poker table with somebody that you think bets too much or

5:57

too little, or plays annoyingly, then you're at the wrong table. Take

6:00

advantage of it or ask for a table change. Yeah yeah you. Oh

6:04

hey, how about your buddy Blake? Man, dude, is he kicking

6:06

ass or what? He's so good? Now? Why do you suck shit

6:11

so bad? So as a great question everything, I'm like, I've said

6:14

this, I think when we talked about him a couple months ago. But I'll say this again. This is not ripping Blake Blake will fully admit this

6:21

that mathematically what he's doing is almost impossible. It just is. It's even

6:27

that's the beauty of poker versus like golf. If he was the best golfer,

6:31

it wouldn't shock anybody that he had won four out of the last five

6:34

major events in Minnesota. Right, It's like, well, yeah, he's the best golfer, but there's so many variables, and the variance in poker

6:41

is so severe that even the best player should not be winning at the clip

6:46

that he's winning. It's just not even mathematically possible. He's fully aware he

6:50

will never in his life have a run like he's had in the last six

6:54

months. He might win more money, you just can't win tournaments at this

6:59

clip. This soften almost ever major tournaments with the best players in the state

7:03

of Minnesota. His final table this weekend was loaded with people that are good

7:10

and he did it again. Oh my god, it's unbeatable. If he

7:14

doesn't crush the World Series of Poker this year with a deep runner so or

7:16

win a brace that, I'm going to be floored because he's playing the best

7:20

he's ever played, and he's running as hot as he's ever run. What

7:23

events is he going to play it? Probably a lot, yeah, the

7:27

decathlon yep, yeah, again, four major wins in the last six months,

7:30

it's something like what is it? And then if you count the one

7:34

in the Bahamas or whatever, I think he's like a half a million in

7:38

earnings in the last six months something like that. That's pretty good. That's

7:43

pretty good. Yeah. Good playing cards man, Yeah, that's the best.

7:48

And what would you play them? One of the Bahamas? No,

7:51

I think that. I think that was a ten k. The only ten

7:57

k that that I'm playing is the main I'm not I'm not so cost ten

8:01

grand get in ten k for the main yea, that makes winer shrivel. Well that's because you have crabs. I don't know what that has to do

8:07

with it. No, I mean, you're right, those two things are true. But again, the only the only person that doesn't like this logic

8:11

is my wife. But if you look at everybody else in my neighborhood and

8:16

I throw my neighbors under the bus all the time, is a lot of

8:22

them are either casual drinkers, are full on alcoholics. Uh, they are

8:26

golfers, they are They all have hobbies that cost a lot of money.

8:31

My hobby is one that potentially in this year is making me money. So

8:37

if I spend ten grand on the main event, which a couple of years

8:39

ago was like total bucket list for me, I thought it was super cool.

8:45

I'm still probably spending less on my hobby than a lot of the guys

8:48

in the neighborhood who have zero chance at money flowing in, right, because

8:54

they're just golfing for fun. That's all money going out. Yeah, my money could come back tenfold, a hundredfold, a thousandfold, who knows.

9:01

Man, You're so right, dude. And my my wife is so pissed

9:05

to me because of my hobby too, for the exact same reasons. And its your hobby banging horse, oh, begging or bag both. I begged

9:11

them to bang. But that's but that's my point goes out exactly, you're

9:16

never gone back, never started charging. And then she might be like,

9:18

Okay, this makes a little bit of sense to me, right, No,

9:20

it wouldn't make any sense to her if I started charging. She's like,

9:24

who's panning to bang your little dick? Oh? God, the truth,

9:30

Bob, nobody's banging your little dick. Yeah, yeah, that's what

9:35

your dad likes to do. It likes to pound me in the dick. Oh my god, all Blake does his win. It's just there's like a

9:41

very few people that other poker players cheer for, and he just happens to

9:46

be on my list. Yeah, it's weird because, like, even people that I really really like, when they win, you're like, why can't

9:52

that be me? Why does that guy win? There's so much jealousy and

9:56

poker. It's so hard not to cheer against other people's success. By nature,

10:00

you guys all think you're better than each other. Yes, you really

10:03

do. Every money you think so you're great. Yeah, everyone, yeah,

10:05

everyone, And that's I think it's funny. I think it's great though.

10:07

I guess that's how it's got to be. Right. When are you playing again? Can't say not playing until Vegas? Now, old brother,

10:16

No, that's a that's not a big one hulk. That's five weeks. Just listen to the Hawkster over there. You're gonna go, cold brother.

10:22

Yeah, uh, a little over two weeks apart. It's so bad.

10:28

Yeah, best There was like a month ago, not a month ago,

10:33

a couple of weeks ago, was like, hey, we should go to

10:35

Las Vegas for the bye week and on some hookers and then hey man,

10:41

that's your hobby. Don't anybody your wife or otherwise, and then stay until

10:46

the Vikings game. I was like, you're out of your fucking day a

10:48

whole week. That sounds like hell awful. Yeah, I'm down, let's

10:54

go. Okay, you you know the trapnel that hotel room would take if

10:58

you were in it. Times you calibunga semen everywhere. Wow, that's pretty

11:05

grows. I wish that could be the title of the podcast. You gross

11:11

me right out. We'll hold the semen and just okay, all right now

11:16

you're being calibunga. I don't know how you spell that. Kauw wam calibung

11:22

hole. I don't even know, man, b u n g a, I don't know. Calibunga. Moment of sincerity, you know, you know,

11:31

like a Twin City summer jam. Right, you're playing in front of

11:33

this huge crowd. That's everything you've ever wanted, right man, Just to

11:37

live that moment, love it. Yeah, that's that's all I want in

11:39

poker. It's sure, I want to win money. I just want one

11:45

one run at a major event, whether it's the world series of pokers don't

11:48

have to be the main Like if I final table the Monster Stack here in

11:52

like three weeks, sure what I want like one hundred K or something.

11:54

Yeah, that'd be super fun. But I just want that moment once in

11:58

my life. Want the rush to the end where you can feel that the

12:03

whole poker world is watching the tournament that you're in and you're a part of

12:07

it. Yeah, it would be fucking sweet. I want that rush.

12:09

Yeah, I think this is your ear man. I think this is the

12:13

best I've ever played. The last six months is the best I have ever

12:16

played. And it's not even got I. That'd be great. Blake took

12:20

him out another fucker out of about five tournaments in my life. But but

12:26

Johnson, I think he shows me is his bank account and then probably laughs

12:30

at my cute little bust outs. But yeah, you do have a cute

12:33

I think Cute Little Bustouts was the title of Zach's podcast, There Were Cute

12:41

Little Ones twelve minutes apart. Man, oh man, ye, god,

12:50

your MIC's on it a spinoff when the Tanninja Turtles joined the Navy, Hey,

12:58

can I tell you guys the but I told h Liber off the air

13:03

yesterday about my the guy, the young man that mows my lawn Jesus Christ.

13:09

Yeah, go ahead. So it's a long story. So I was

13:13

a long build up. The young man who's most so Jesus Christ. Okay,

13:20

never mind Chris. Yesterday, I Jesus lebr and yesterday I told the

13:35

lea Jesus Christ. The truth is, most people, the whole story wouldn't

13:39

have last that long. You just asking permission last give her hell saucy dog.

13:48

The story is gonna be, well, he wasn't gonna be if you

13:52

landed at the first time. It's about a kid mowing your lawn. Go

13:54

on, come on, you now, you have to tell that's how this

13:58

works. You off, Okay. So the young man that mows my lawn

14:03

is my insurance guy's son. Pat Kelly's my insurance guy. It's his son,

14:07

Danny. So he's fifteen years old and his mom or dad will drop

14:11

him off at my house. They'll he'll mow the lawn and then they'll pick

14:13

him up and he'll go. So one Friday, his mom dropped him off

14:20

and he started mowing the yard and Anne, his wife, his mom,

14:26

Pat's wife, came up to the house. She wanted to meet the dogs. Well, I had. I was drinking and I set my phone down

14:33

on the couch and the dogs get pumped when anybody walks up to the door.

14:35

So the couch fell, My phone fell into the couch and Pat Kelly's

14:41

mom or wife stands there. We start talking. She just tom get there.

14:56

Wait a minute, was his mom into her house getting picked up too?

15:03

She just got into the conversation. What happened? What did shemo?

15:07

So Danny's grandma's wearing Danny's grandma anyway, God, there's no way the end

15:28

of this story. It's gonna be Can I finish the story? I've known

15:31

you long enough. So I walked around my fucking house for three hours and

15:37

my fucking and I'm like, Danny, get the grandmas out of here.

15:41

She's the phone. I was gonna go to goddamn best by and by a

15:48

new phone, and I fucking called Dom to get me an employee discount.

15:54

And my wife said she found it in the couch, and I was like,

15:56

well, fuck the fuck? How close? Was I pretty close?

16:15

Kind of yeah, because you didn't you couldn't find your phone. You're pissed

16:18

there's no doubt. So I couldn't find my phone. And I finally find

16:22

my phone, and I have like five text messages from Kelly that's like,

16:27

who is this random woman on our camera? And then because I didn't have

16:32

my phone, it was like all these question marks, and then it was

16:36

who in the fuck is over at her house? Finally got my phone,

16:38

I said, it's Danny's mom. So for a second there, it's like,

16:44

spent a lot of time with this lovely lady, super hot. But

16:49

was she in the house. Yes, yes, she came in so l

16:53

walker or watch your walk right? Yeah, Calton thinks you're getting a little

16:57

dicky Danny's grandpa. That's the twist. It doesn't see much. Look,

17:15

no, poor Danny's grandpa. That's a alright story, story man, good

17:29

one man? It wasn't no, it was fine. Good. Did she

17:32

did she believe you? I mean, did she did she throw a fit? All? She like? No, she believed me? Yeah, because

17:37

then I said, look, and you missed her husband Pat also walking into

17:42

them. That's not a good story. No, Well it worked though last

17:48

night when I finally got my assum to sit down on the cash a little

17:52

bit after the end of the day, I was flipping through the channels and

17:56

Fargo was just beginning the movie Fargo, and I haven't seen her from the

17:59

beginning for a very, very long time. It's so spectacular. Man Um

18:03

and the blonde haired guy who's also in Um big Lebowski, who's you know,

18:10

like the yea of the Nihilist. That guy is so great and he

18:12

you know, he says like five words the entire film his character. Man

18:18

That the like when they're sitting in the booth at the beginning of the movie talking to the guy who's trying to hire them. Yeah, he's sitting there,

18:25

his mouth is gaping open, and he almost looks asleep, but he's

18:29

looking at him just barely through the bottom of his eyes, and a cigarette

18:32

is dangling from the side of his mouth. You know everything about that guy

18:36

in that scene, and he doesn't say a word. Yeah, well, that's fucking cool. That is why I would argue what you just said is

18:41

the theme of most Korn Brothers movies, right, is they they just cast

18:45

the perfect face for that role, where there's whether it's the makeup, the

18:49

accent, the actual script, everything is exactly how it's supposed to be to

18:56

get you to that point as quickly as possible right where there's there No I

19:00

wonder if I like this guy or not. It's like, nope, that's clearly the bad guy. You can tell immediately that guy. By the ways,

19:04

Also in one episode of Seinfeld, he's in the Frogger episode when George

19:08

tries to get the Frogger machine across the street. Yeah, that dude is

19:11

one of the two guys that helps him with the electrical thing. And when

19:17

George asks him about the outlet, that guy's like, oh, you mean

19:21

the holes and then George knows that he's fucked because the electrician doesn't even know

19:25

the term outlet. Yeah. One episode, No, it's at the end.

19:30

It's like either season eight or nine. It's one of the last two

19:32

seasons. So you know when you haven't seen that movie again and it's entirety

19:36

for a long time, and I haven't seen even part of it for a long time. But there's one part of the film that, as a fifty

19:41

two year old saying at this time around, I kind of I wonder about

19:45

which one um The scene with her high school friend, the Asian dude yep,

19:49

with the super thick accent, who pretends that his wife is dead or

19:55

whatever like that, tries to sit beside her and then goes back around there.

19:57

There's when when she gets the call that she's and she goes, well,

20:02

it looks like I'm gonna go for a trip to Minneapolis then, or to the city's then or whatever, and her husband goes yeah or something like

20:08

that. He turns out. I wonder if he is reacting to the fact

20:11

that the night before she got a call from an old high school friend who

20:15

said he was in Minneapolis. I was trying to think if she mentioned during

20:18

that phone call, oh, you're in Minneapolis. I wonder if there was

20:22

an element of that scene of jealousy with him, because he doesn't say very

20:26

much, but he does go he choose for a minute, he's looking straight

20:29

ahead and he goes yeah really yeah, right, I'm suspicious, but I'm

20:37

not. That scene with the with the the classmate is so weird. Yeah

20:42

there you go, right, and it's so out of place and so weird.

20:45

There was a reason that it happened, Obviously they don't do anything with

20:48

that there being a reason for it, But I just it's good. Yeah.

20:55

Norma Gunderson and Margie or my favorite couple and on screen, I just

21:00

love it. They are the best. How about the day the first time

21:03

I saw Fargo. Earlier that day, Kelly and I watched Um The Zodiac

21:10

Killer and he's Margie's husband. Is the Zodiac in Zodia? No kidding?

21:18

I didn't know that. Yeah, yeah, the one that they the one at the end of Zodiac they kind of painted on him, and obviously it

21:22

was never proven, but the character that they pinted on is that same actor.

21:26

D Javier Bardem was on Conan's podcast It's Fantastic and they were talking about

21:33

No Country obviously, which got me super pumped. Those are two of my

21:36

favorite things Conan in No Country. But I guess I didn't know this,

21:40

but um, Javier Bardem's English was so bad before that movie. He's obviously

21:45

gotten way better at English the last almost two decades now. He said the

21:49

gas station scene, which was the one that Conan specifically asked him about,

21:52

because he just that's arguably the best scene in the movie, and there's no

21:56

bad scenes in that movie, but that is probably the one that everybody remembers.

21:59

Because he mentions that, you know, what's the most you've ever lost in a coin toss anyway, He said that was arguably his hardest scene of

22:07

the entire shoot because he's like, I didn't talk much in that movie,

22:11

right, I'd have a line or two, but I just essentially killed people.

22:14

He's like, that one I had to have a full dialogue with this guy, and he's like, I worked on that for months. Wow,

22:19

because that's how little English he spoke. I thought that was super fascinating because

22:23

when you watched that movie, you wouldn't know this guy doesn't know English very

22:26

well. He just killed it. Imagine killed it. Imagine you got hired

22:32

to do a movie in Spanish right where you're standing right now, Yeah,

22:37

and you only had the one scene. But you did have the one scene.

22:40

God damn many would you be able to do that? I mean,

22:44

if you give me a lot of money in six months, I think I figured it out. You're like yr where you're saying, I just you know,

22:49

two lines in that scene, three lines in that scene, but then

22:52

basically one back and forth monologue. I would work on that one for a

22:56

handful of months. But what you just said about, you know, the face on that one guy with dangling cigarette is all you needed to know.

23:00

Yeah. Uh. Conan said something about the old man behind the counter and

23:06

the gas station about how you could see the fear on his face immediately.

23:10

Right. So, even though no guns ever shown, Anton never specifically says,

23:15

if this coin goes the wrong way, I'm gonna fucking kill you,

23:17

But it's all implied. But the actor just such a good job of showing

23:21

the fear of understanding the situation, even though he kept saying, I don't

23:26

know what we're betting, you know the thing that he kept trying to act

23:29

like he didn't know, but he could see it in his face that he knew. And then Javier Bydam just couldn't stop praising the guy for saying he

23:36

was actually underselling himself. He's like, I had to do almost nothing in that scene. I just basically sat there in eight nuts and that guy did

23:42

all the acting. He just he was giving all the credit to that dude

23:45

for just selling it. His job was to display fear. My job was

23:49

just basically to say, you know, you've been putting it up your whole

23:53

life, and that's essentially it. That fucking movie man, Yeah, so

23:57

good, all time favorite. It's there's not a wasted line, not a

24:00

wasted scene. Every performance is spectacular, but again, you could say that

24:06

for almost every Cohen Brothers movie. No Country to Me is the peak.

24:10

But like Fargo, everybody in that is spectacular, right, Steve Ashemi's unbelievably

24:15

good. They're all good. Huh. Yeah. The guy that um,

24:21

the you know, the father in law or whatever. Yeah, the guy's

24:23

great. Yeah, he's fantastic. I don't know that actor's name, but

24:26

that guy's great. Is that TV show coming back? John Hamm? Yeah,

24:32

okay, yeah, do we know win? I don't know. And

24:37

again who knows if the writer strikes slows any of this stuff down too?

24:40

But yeah, what are we on season five? Nao season five? I

24:45

think? Yeah, I think this would be five, yes, Chris Rock

24:52

Yeah, uh. Fargo season five. It's set in two thousand and nineteen.

24:59

Uh. In arch it says it teased a twenty twenty three return,

25:03

so um later this year, says later this year. I think they're coming

25:11

back to Minnesota. I think with that, right, what's the what's the

25:14

worst season? The last one? Yeah, that lady was so good and

25:23

they barely used her. The creepy nurse lady I've I've liked all of them,

25:29

to be honest with you. Um, maybe the EU and McGregor one

25:34

was the worst year. I don't know. I like that one babe though,

25:37

but exactly that's the problem is I like that season though too. You're

25:41

talking about what is her name, Mary Elizabeth Winstead? I think is her

25:45

last name? Jesus, Yeah, she was in Um, Lauren Melville.

25:52

I mean that I still watch clips on YouTube that character is which one season

25:57

one Billy Bop? I mean, my god, yeah, he was fantastic

26:03

and everything. And Martin Freeman is good and everything too. I just the

26:08

scene that I'll never forget is when he's Lauren gets pulled in to for questioning

26:15

and he turns into like a minute, like a Northern Minnesota priest, like

26:21

pastor or whatever, and he starts talking about the church and the bingo and

26:25

the you know, the fundraisers stuff, and it's just like he just completely

26:29

transformed. And that's I mean, as far as acting goes, I love

26:33

to take an acting class because I I just have no idea how you do

26:37

that? You should do that, it'd be a good bit. Hey, should man take an acting class? Work for it? Why don't you.

26:42

Why don't you let Hawk pay for it, go once, ask for a

26:45

refund, and then pocket the rest of the money and then spend it on

26:49

sitting in hotel rooms? Is that what you did? No comment. You

26:56

spent it on shipping in hotel rooms and beating not coming. Now you can

27:00

poop anywhere, dude. Yeah, speaking of that, I gotta go do

27:03

that right now. You haven't Haven poker, Please down the voter against your

27:07

friends. It's super fun, it's free. What it's free for God's sakes?

27:11

Sty h A y v I N Haven Poker. That was the after

27:15

Party podcast by