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me. My name's Hockey h A w ku y. You'll beat me because

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I'm gonna go all in. On the first hand, I don't give a shit, doesn't give a shit. I look like I give a shit.

1:00

I don't give a goddamn you don't give a god damn question real quick me,

1:03

can we make a trade real quick? Just out of curious I'm gonna

1:06

I'd like to spend the next twenty minutes describing a trade I'd like to make,

1:08

even though we're not allowed to make a trade anybody. Yeah, okay,

1:11

cool. I know. It's fun, man. I love having everybody

1:19

in the same room like that. It always makes me giggle. Podium look

1:22

good? Yeah, yeah, it looked great. Everybody run on and on. People tried to compliment me like crazy about my idea of putting the podium

1:27

in. It wasn't me, It was that so nice job that was it?

1:30

Aj whoever it was. Maybe it was a great It was a great

1:34

idea. There's no way that was Abbott. Abbott has never once even know

1:40

if he still works here. No, he's not here, was Abbot.

1:42

He Let's move on. Okay, next topic. No, I'm just kidding.

1:48

That was a great bit and that worked out great, and uh that

1:51

was a lot of fun. So, uh, thank you, that's cool.

1:53

I didn't learn much outside of the running back bit, but I ever

1:56

heard that kid's name until this morning, because I thought the only first round

2:00

able running back was b Jean Robinson. So I didn't know the other kid

2:02

existed, Jamir Gibbs or whatever his name is. But yeah, again,

2:07

whenever Pa drops a name like that, chart nail that into the show.

2:09

Whenever Pa just kind of subtly says, hey, yeah, they kind of

2:13

like Jamier Gibbs. You might want to keep an eye on that. That's

2:15

never just out of the blue. He That doesn't mean they're gonna get him,

2:20

but that definitely means they have interest in getting them. Yeah. So

2:23

I think that's an interesting little angle. He's not just talking to talk no,

2:28

no, But whether it is trying to trade up for Richardson and seeing

2:31

how far Richardson falls, or trading back and getting a brand new, young,

2:37

exciting running back, I think from a fans perspective, those are both

2:42

super exciting things, just because if you take a random lineback or a cornerback

2:46

you've never heard of, fan base is probably like, okay, whatever.

2:50

If you get the future quarterback on the roster, that's a gigantic deal.

2:53

People would be pupped. Did you get an exciting running back on a cheap

2:59

ass key deal For the next handful of years while we hopefully find a new

3:02

quarterback at some point or build around Kirk. I don't know. Yeah,

3:06

I think it's kind of cool. I think the fans will love both of those. Those those plans, even though I don't totally know if we're running

3:13

back, makes sense for next year, but it definitely makes sense for the

3:15

next four or five years. Right. Well, I'll tell you this,

3:19

And I don't think they'll be mad, because I don't think anybody who's planning

3:22

on going is gonna change their mind based on me. I'm less likely to

3:25

go to the draft now than I was this morning. I was thinking about

3:29

going to the draft riding back. He was pretty adamant about us trading back,

3:32

and I do not want to go to the draft party tonight if we're

3:36

just gonna am trading back. And every point that charge made at the end

3:39

of the thing is interesting that how far can you trade back and still get

3:43

the running back you potentially want? Yeah, And to your point, how

3:46

far can you trade back and still have a pick called tonight? At right?

3:52

Do you want to hear something dumb about that? By the way, too, I realized the reason I'm not one hundred percent sure that I want

3:58

to go is one hundred percent based on parking. It's such a goddamn hasshole

4:02

to find parking down there. If I was just parking in the stadium parking

4:05

lot and walking in, that'd be cool. But if I drive all the

4:09

way down there and hassle through parking there and then we don't make a pick,

4:13

I'm all burning the place to the ground and probably go to jail and

4:15

missed the show tomorrow. Yeah. Right, never understood why we build our

4:17

stadiums and like the busiest, most honorable place for sixty thousand people to to

4:25

go down to you And obviously it won't be that tonight. But yeah,

4:27

still it's uh, it's fascinating, especially when you got to like other places

4:30

like Kansas City where there's a big parking lot. You go up there,

4:33

you park, you go in, and it's great. Yeah, every every

4:38

time I drive by, Uh the uh what's that place out there? They

4:45

it would have been awesome everything, it would have been awesome. You could

4:49

have had all the space, and you would have had you would have no

4:54

choke points in the concourse. That's another issue. You choke people where you

4:57

want choke your chicken, when you want choke out anything like at least one

5:02

spot, or when you have a choke hop up and down? Have you

5:05

ever done that? Have you ever choked yourself while your master No, I

5:08

don't have any interest in that. Have you ever choked anybody else while bay

5:12

master base? No, I don't get the choking thing. Man, God

5:15

bless you if you there, I said, yeah, but it sounds like

5:21

you're willing to try it. Like it right. A similar question I ask

5:25

you, silar, have you ever greased yourself up on camera? No?

5:29

And then sat a giant dildough No, like with the section cup I'm guessing

5:32

on the floor and then hopped up and down on it like you were on

5:35

a pogo stick. You ever done that? You ever seen anybody? I

5:39

don't. We work in morning radio, so I don't have the greatest memory

5:43

morning so I can't see one hundred percent that I haven't done it. But

5:46

I'm pretty sure I have. Let me go ahead and tell you morning radio

5:49

be gone. Yeah, I've never done that. I've never done that either.

5:53

Let me ask you another follow up to this conversation. Sure of all

5:57

the reactions to that video, who's is the best? Well? Yeah,

6:02

come on, you know who I'm gonna say yeah, yeah, Tommy,

6:08

Tommy, Yeah, I didn't hear. The reason why I hesitated was I

6:13

don't know if it was the best if if anything, it was the most

6:16

revealing. What the fuck it was the most revealing? All right, Okay,

6:24

yeah, so that's why I say that. Now you understand. Yeah,

6:30

I was, Um, I don't care, man, It's cool with me. But I don't know. I'll try anything with that that takes commitment

6:42

and fortitude and um, a sheer will of determination, hop up and down.

6:49

Yeah. The thing we opened the show with basically your trip to the

6:53

the old sex shop for party. Yeah. Um, I truly haven't done.

6:58

I haven't been in a sex shop either since I was in college.

7:00

It was for a joke kind of a thing too. Yeah, but I'll say this, I don't even know if I want to go back in there.

7:05

For the same reason you kind of hinted at that. I think walking

7:09

around would terrify me. Yeah, because it would be what the fuck are

7:14

people doing? Right? It would be the whole neon right, But it

7:16

would be no, no, no, I'm talking about the products. Yeah,

7:19

I'd be like, these exist, Who the fuck uses these? Right?

7:24

Not just the standards, right, the old classics. Yeah, I'm

7:27

talking about there would be things that I have never heard of, never seen,

7:30

and probably terrify me to my core, like a foot with a vagina

7:33

on it. We talked about that that one time, right, like vagina

7:38

with a foot on vagina. Yeah, I mean I went to to sex

7:41

World like everybody did, pretty much like ten years ago, you know,

7:44

so I haven't been. It's been a while even there. Oh yeah, it's in rent of it. Nearly drove right by. Yeah. Yeah,

7:50

they moved like a block or two or something. But like they they apparently

7:55

it's nice. But um, I think the more most fascinating thing about that,

7:59

and perhaps horrifying thing about it is these places, more often than not,

8:03

are open twenty four hours a day, and labor, especially you know,

8:07

especially nowadays, isn't the cheapest anymore because of you know, minimum wage

8:11

increases, et cetera. And obviously them that's a good thing, but um,

8:16

that tells you that it is worth the to pay somebody to be there

8:24

at three forty five in the morning. Less likely to run into somebody at

8:28

three forty five in the morning, though, I think people think that the

8:31

window to sneak in there and get something, but still like if you're gonna

8:33

go, I mean, if you're gonna go to a sex shop like you

8:37

have to. I don't know if how worried you are about somebody seeing you.

8:41

I think a lot of people absolutely so, especially people my generation in

8:48

their generation. Usually if you're right in the middle of Minneapolis at four pm

8:54

on a Thursday, yeah, I mean like or a Channel four icon we

9:00

were remember do you guys remember Shinders? They were all over Yeah. Yeah,

9:03

Shinders had a remike that and uh, we were nineteen right. We

9:09

went back there, back before the internet is what it is. The only

9:13

way you could get it was DVD. Right. We walked back there and

9:16

there was someone who uh we saw back that was associated with the high school

9:26

we went to, and we were like no, no, no, no

9:31

sions coach no, we were like coach. We were like no, no,

9:35

no, no employee at the d no. Uh and play at the

9:39

yards, yes, but we we w no therapist. Oh yeah, of

9:43

course. We walked in. We were like all right, and they it

9:48

was but it was like did you guys stroke? But it was like they didn't. It was like I'm in here this far. I don't care it

9:54

was literally like two in the afternoon, and they were like, what the fuck ever, I don't care you're you're an adult. I'm an adult.

10:00

I don't care that I'm getting this out and my entree I did, thank

10:05

you. My small town had a UM. West Falls was the magazine place.

10:09

I fucking loved magazine as a kid um and it was attached to the

10:13

arcade, so you were always there, and you know, you know everybody

10:18

in a small town, everybody went there to buy their porn, and that

10:22

like the guy behind the counter knows who you are. The kids who were

10:26

walking out of the arcade scene you walking out of there, the guy buying

10:30

you know, Carcraft magazine, around the corner of the lady buying the Vogue.

10:33

Everybody sees you buying Big Tits magazine. Right, you're playing frogger.

10:37

He's buyer and he's fuck the vagina. You just gotta be to the point

10:41

where you like, here's the thing. I am fucking horny. I gotta

10:48

know what's going on with barely legal this month, and I don't care who

10:52

sees it, right Wow, yeah, yeah, some people just ripped the

10:56

band aid off. So I had a weird So the other day I listening

11:00

to Barrero. I didn't catch the beginning of this conversation, so I have no idea what they were talking about. But Guardsy was saying, sometimes when

11:07

he's coming from the University of Minnesota to the station, Yeah, if ninety

11:11

four is so crazy, he'll take Washington, okay, And I think I

11:15

think it was Burrell that basically it was like, but you have to hit

11:18

like a thousand lights, doesn't that take forever? And he said something like,

11:22

well, I just shoot down Washington and take a left by h J

11:26

D Hoys And I'm going, he's going to sex World in my cargo when

11:31

this motherfucker just accidentally and then he's going to sex work like a point one

11:33

percent chance. True, But in my head, I'm going, did he

11:37

just forget that we all know where sex World is? And I'm going,

11:41

I wish that Gerdsy was pa or Rosy and I could go, I busted

11:45

you. Yeah, I know what you're doing, but it's fucking gers. There's almost no chance he just happened to go yeahs and stuff. Jis is

11:56

sex World. J Jadi Hoys is only in business because that's everybody's where.

12:00

It's like, uh, yeah, it's by Hoyts. Nobody wants to say

12:03

the boo and nobody wants to say who oh, you're welcome, mano.

12:09

Not a good place, No, it's not. I'm not kidding you. Guys have been a good place. I wouldn't call it bade twenty year it's

12:16

a it's a little greasy. Used to go all the time. Nineteen it

12:20

was sweet. The second and third floors is uh, it's more a little

12:24

bit more and more multiple floors. Oh yeah, I didn't know, more

12:28

and more expensive as you go up you go to the third floor. You

12:31

or I'm pretty sure I won't say his name because I don't want to get my stories mixed up, because again it was twenty years ago. I'm pretty

12:35

sure that's where a group of us went for one of my birthdays. Wasn't

12:39

my choice, but I was twenty three or four. And again I won't

12:46

say this person's name. A fellow employee bought me a lap dance, and

12:48

I'm like, this is weird. I would have here would be your lap

12:50

dance. And then another employee came from downstairs or choice of words that came

12:58

from came downstairs from upstairs. Yeah, basically it was like and basically was

13:03

like, we gotta get out of here because he was basically getting kicked out

13:07

for getting handsy. Do you remember this story? No, so I think

13:09

that was the same night it was I got a free lap dance because a

13:13

coworker who I would not expect to pay for lap dances paid for a lap

13:16

dance for me. I'm like, okay, and then we had the old

13:20

emergency run out. Whoops? Who works I'll tell you in a second.

13:26

Huh did they still work around here? One? The person that bought me

13:30

the lap dance still works here. The person that ran down stairs does not

13:33

still works here? Yeah? Four, two or three was the guy.

13:37

I don't know what the floor they were on. Three is three? So

13:41

what what what happens up there? I've never actually paid the I don't know

13:46

two hund or whatever it is for up there. Whoa, um, but

13:50

you go up and uh full bad private room. What they take Usually they'll

13:58

take your pants off and you you just lay on the bed and then she

14:01

does. Now that of course is not happening anymore because that's illegal. Still

14:09

on, So they don't manipulate you? Or back then, did they manipulate

14:15

you? Did they do it three year unde? Is there a little gray

14:18

area? There's ackers what you're saying, is that the whole they make it

14:20

loose? Yeah, I mean it depends on but wow, I didn't realize

14:28

you could get that here in town. Yeah, Chris is taking the rest

14:33

of the week off. I got things I like to do. Um.

14:37

The only strip clubs I've been here is I went to Shecheks one time.

14:39

But I don't think that place exists anymore, does it. I don't know

14:43

that place the right sc the Seville. It used to be called Cheeks,

14:50

didn't it. I think it's two different places. Oh, I don't know.

14:54

So I went there one time, UM, a long time ago.

14:56

There's one that's closer to the stadium, Ricks Cabarett. That's it. I

15:01

went in there for was that was that somebody's Jordan Biankis Why the hell were

15:07

we there? I think you were with me, Corey? Maybe it was.

15:09

I don't know, somebody had before me anyway. So that and then

15:13

that one that's over by Target Center. I went in there one time,

15:16

and that's the Saville. I think that's the that's the one right across I've

15:18

been. Yeah, I've been the Saville was somebody we work with, and

15:22

uh, it was like Norma cheers really yeah they know Rosie that well no

15:30

kidding, yeah, well that's really interesting table and they've never owned a TV.

15:37

Correct. Yeah, it wasn't that. I love the look of ladies.

15:43

Man. They turned me on, but I still feel weird when I

15:45

go into there was it like an age of like eighteen to like twenty three

15:50

or four. Maybe that has a lot to do with you, dude,

15:52

I'm fifty two. Hotly, I'm not just saying this because my wife listens

15:56

to this. I would if and Corey wouldn't or document but if zacho if

16:00

like let's say we had a bachelor party for Max and they're like, hey,

16:03

we're gonna go to the strip club, I'd go. I'm out.

16:06

Not that I'm not a prude, how I can go, but I just frude, in your eye? What's to deal with your eye? There?

16:11

No? But I just I got I got no interest. Um yeah,

16:15

that's what I don't get. Chris again, not to be like an old

16:18

prude here. Yeah, I also like women. I don't want to bang

16:22

a vagina foot right like right, I just don't. I don't get all

16:26

these weird kings. King is king shaming. I just don't get all this

16:32

weird shit. But I also don't have any interest in going and getting lapped

16:37

at a strip club. What's weird about that? And again, I think, as you know, as much as I'm a horny dude, I like

16:41

the ladies, you know, and I like to look at them and stuff

16:45

like that, and we've established that. But I'm just not one of those

16:48

guys who is like, um obsessive about it, like there's not a kink

16:53

that I that I can't think of anything else, you know. And I

16:56

know that there are people who have that, and maybe it's an issue for

16:59

maybe that's just how it is, that's cool, But for me, and maybe it's because I am fifty two, I just want to get it out

17:04

and get it over with. I ain't got time to grease up a fucking

17:07

foot, all right, give me like a three minute clip at what I

17:12

need to see, and I'm I'm on with the rest of me. Don't

17:17

have time to grease up a foot. By the way, grease up a

17:19

foot title of the podcast, I mean, you can find a hotel room

17:26

good enough one for like eighty ninety bucks a night, okay, and you

17:30

can get um a great cultivated uh you know, THHC gummy if they want

17:37

to be part of this. But keep going. Let's let's decide where this

17:40

story goes. Right, No, good buddy, and you can have a

17:48

phenomenal night to yourself that will be a thousand times better than a lap dance.

17:52

I'm ahead and stop you right there. I'm gonna say this again to

17:55

the three gentlemen on my left here. There's never been, nor with will

18:00

ever be a time where I will pay for a hotel room just to jerk

18:03

off. Well, you know you've said it forever. I never will.

18:11

Guys, by the way, I know we're not going anywhere on the road anytime soon, but just a quick reminder if we travel, I'm never paying

18:17

for a hotel room just to jerk off dash Chris Hoy, that's what he

18:22

wants. In his term, he would be known as the guy that would

18:26

never pay stone. Jerking off in a hotel room is a plus, but

18:29

I'm not I can do that in the second. My point is these guys

18:33

are going to these places and spending hundreds of dollars a lot dollars are married,

18:38

and they're not doing it at home. My point is, if you're

18:41

going to spend hundreds of dollars, right, get a hooker. John Morant

18:45

photo right, that win viral the John Morant photo. Wherever? Where the

18:49

whole floor was it? John Morant? Am I losing my mind? Where

18:52

it was? Just the entire floor was covered in money? Remember that bit?

18:57

Yeah? Everything? And yeah? Was it Colorno? And she was

19:02

going facing the other Yeah, that's I don't know if that's fifty thousand dollars

19:06

or I don't know one hundred tho. I have no idea how much money it takes to cover the floor. What a fucking waste, to waste money,

19:11

to waste of money, waste of mine. I don't care if he

19:14

banged her for nine hours straight, what a way, I don't care.

19:18

I know he's got hundreds of millions. What a waste of money. I

19:21

don't care if her vagina had a little mouth inside it that sucked you while

19:26

you banged her. Right, MU, way too much Rick and Morty.

19:30

There's much, way too much tentacle. I don't care how good it felt.

19:33

I don't care if when you when you finished, you also shit yourself

19:37

because it felt so good, right, I don't care. I don't care.

19:41

Is that like Pa this morning when he drops a name like something you

19:45

do, no matter how good it was, as soon as you're done,

19:48

you regret what you just did, especially if you spend fifty thousand dollars on

19:53

a waste of money, because you're just gonna say yourself, I might not

19:56

have shipped myself, but I definitely could have finished that pretty much the same

20:00

way, all by myself. For freeze. Look look at it like this.

20:03

If you find the love of your life, yeah, and marry her

20:08

so you can have intimate relationships for the relations with her for the rest of

20:12

your life. Yeah, a wedding might be fifty thousand dollars And that's a

20:18

fucking waste of money, right right, what a waste of cash? Ye

20:22

waste. But look at apens, look at it from the other perspective.

20:26

Okay, give it to me, baby, go on, beautiful woman,

20:30

and somebody will just shovel fifty grand new just for sleeping with somebody. That's

20:34

why there's so many women of one night. If you're willing to do it,

20:38

it's the easiest money of all times. Only fans Man barstool guys all

20:45

the time, have these gals on there from only fans, and they ask

20:48

them how much do you make a month? And they're like last month they made three million dollars. They're just fucking stealing money. I know a regular

20:56

person who makes thirty thousand dollars a month. Yeah, oh yeah, regular

21:00

person. Same And it's not the person you think. No, it's a

21:02

different person. Guy, don't know. I know somebody who is not only

21:06

fans that makes a fucking killing Yeah, and that's all they do, right,

21:10

Yeah, like feet finder, like you've always brought up man, like you you have somebody like a gall of yours that you're like, hey,

21:17

we should make extra money. No face, just put your feet on there. Fucking people are weird man. Okay, I'm gonna throw this out there.

21:22

Sure if anybody wants a picture of my foot or feet, send me

21:26

some cash. Yeah, I'm willing to go that low you can. I

21:30

don't give a fuck about my feet. You want to see my who do

21:33

you think of all of us? Dash hockey dash one on Venmo. I

21:37

will send you a picture of almost anybody part I got for the right price.

21:41

Yeah, you want to see dick. I ain't scared. Yeah,

21:44

you ain't scared. I think we should wrap stop wrap. Christ has to

21:52

go to his meeting. Listen, But I just don't. Ain't nobody out

21:57

there. There's people who pay me to keeping him up pants. Uh,

22:00

but yeah, that's easy money. You're just showing it. But but uh,

22:03

hopping up and down on a dick or something like that. You know

22:07

that just seems aggressive to me. But for pictures here, make all the

22:11

money you want, you know, flying what guy gave you, Zach? What's the price? Make me an offer that I can't refuse. I don't

22:17

want to make it. Don't You're not in defeat though, I'm not ten bucks. I'm just out of curiosity. If somebody like, well, no,

22:22

I'm not taking ten bucks for a photo of my feet from sauce some

22:27

hundred get my feet. You're gonna get offers for hundred I'm saying it right

22:37

now. You want to picture my feet hundred dollars? Yeah? Yeah,

22:41

if I hear you go, I'm gonna pay for my World Series of Poker

22:44

made event entry by showing feet picks. If you want to picture by spread

22:47

star star, I'll do it for a hundred bucks. Okay, you'll take

22:51

a picture of your asshole that just started only a stage for less on cameo.

22:59

Yeah, just got have been request from Rosie and hockey. Dude,

23:03

you gotta charge at least a grand for your arm how munch for an Initials

23:08

game wrapped in one of your Warren socks. I think he's not asking himself,

23:15

No, I'm just curious, like, so, well, look,

23:18

let's just start Initials game is thirty nine ninety nine, so we're starting this

23:22

county bucks then wrapped with one of my Warren socks. Uh, ten dollars

23:30

for shipping, and then another twenty dollars for the rapped Warren sock. You

23:36

give me seventy bucks, I'll shippy an Initials game with a Warren sock.

23:38

Yeah, vicmom, and the code name is Bible Studies. I'll send you

23:44

whatever the fuck do you want to pick? What if just for today at

23:47

Initials game dot com. That would have been a good April Fools Day bit

23:52

post post for feet pervs. Just an Initials game wrapped with an extra sock.

23:59

Twenty extra dollars on Initials Game dot Com. Oh I should do that?

24:03

Why not? You want some mundies. I'll go. I'll fucking run

24:06

down the block and back. They'll be so soiled we really got lock will

24:11

start running marathons again. You'll be able to grow flowers in my underwear.

24:14

They'll be so fucking sand and you'll wrap some Hawks high Flyers from Cold Dad

24:18

CD and ship them to your fucking house. You want why you want Seventh

24:22

Avenue pizza served to mynes, I'll do it. Do you want Second Avenue

24:26

pizza? Second hand? I run down the block. Yeah, get suck?

24:33

What is that says? Well? Shit? Shit? All right.

24:41

This portion of the Power Trip morning to you after party, brought you by feet Porn. Check out feed porn on the internet. Goodbye everybody. Thank

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you to our friends at Haydn Poker. Love you, Ben Momi, foot

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pick money, Enjoy the fucking draft